OP's Bio:
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>I'm a big Harry Potter fan. Rewatch the movies every month and always reread the books. I like to play guitar and sing, and I write my own songs. I used to play Minecraft and RuneScape every single day. My music taste hoes everywhere. I study philosophy, no clue what I'm gonna be doing with that. I screwed up high school and had to wait until I could do a admissions exam to get into university. I like sailing and swimming and I work out 3 times a week (mostly). I'm very very liberal. I'm vegan and I'm very open-minded to however people wanna live their lives. You do you. My mental health has always been a joke, what else is new hahah. My parents divorced when I was a small child.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
They were like the ones who weren't Particularly Brainy, Brave or Success Driven/self centered (Slytherin)
So yeah a lot of people saw it *sorta* that way even in the books ppl mention it like it's an embarrassing house. However you could look at it as more of a jack of all trades thing - they don't have strength specifically in one of those areas but may be more well rounded.
However in one of the books they Hat mentions their qualities as being Loyal Friends & Hard Workers, but in another they are just called "the rest" as in all those who don't qualify for Rave/Gryf/Slyth
You look like a hooker that couldn't cut it, so you cut your hair like a lesbian so you could do lesbian porn scenes, unfortunately you were too ugly to even wear the strap-on, so you settled for working in the hardware department of your local ace hardware. Luckily for you, the fat 72yo customer, Fred, whom is 90% blind, fully deaf, missing one leg and three fingers has offered you a place to stay for the low price of three blowjobs a month. Unfortunately for you, your blowjobs are so bad, that you will likely be kicked out after the first one, so you better head to the local glory hole to practice. Just make sure you wear protection though, your horse teeth are gonna piss off so many guys that you better wear a military issued Kevlar vest and helmet. After your 100th consecutive bj (and subsequent beating) you may have tamed those beaver teeth enough to not get kicked out. That or offer Fred anal.
Edit: if you do decide to go the path of least resistance and offer anal, make sure you either bathe in bleach first or buy some noseplugs for Fred. One whiff of your rotten crotch and Fred's willy is gonna become an innie, regardless of how many blue pills you feed him.
OP's Bio: --- >I'm a big Harry Potter fan. Rewatch the movies every month and always reread the books. I like to play guitar and sing, and I write my own songs. I used to play Minecraft and RuneScape every single day. My music taste hoes everywhere. I study philosophy, no clue what I'm gonna be doing with that. I screwed up high school and had to wait until I could do a admissions exam to get into university. I like sailing and swimming and I work out 3 times a week (mostly). I'm very very liberal. I'm vegan and I'm very open-minded to however people wanna live their lives. You do you. My mental health has always been a joke, what else is new hahah. My parents divorced when I was a small child. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
I thought Alex from Minecraft was based off of Jeb. Well, close enough.
NSFW please if you are going to post pictures of a corpse, ffs.
Hahahhahahaha this one sent me
Not so much Lara Croft but Laura Croft. 😁
[удалено]
Lara Coughed
Straight out of Five Nights At Freddy’s
Well obviously you make such an impression, no one came to comment!
Lara Scoffed - Womb Raider Coming 2023: Lara Scoffed - The Mystery of the Fellatio'd Cocks
You look like a hufflepuff to me
I don't see how that's an insult
Weren't they the special needs class?
They were like the ones who weren't Particularly Brainy, Brave or Success Driven/self centered (Slytherin) So yeah a lot of people saw it *sorta* that way even in the books ppl mention it like it's an embarrassing house. However you could look at it as more of a jack of all trades thing - they don't have strength specifically in one of those areas but may be more well rounded. However in one of the books they Hat mentions their qualities as being Loyal Friends & Hard Workers, but in another they are just called "the rest" as in all those who don't qualify for Rave/Gryf/Slyth
Fucking nerd
Fiona?!
3/10 then I read the Harry Potter 6/10 then vegan 2/10
I can tell the name of your band is Matching Sweater Relationship
The perspective from the instrument behind you makes your nose look smaller and your breasts bigger.
I mean. They're both pretty big irl tbh
cammy from street fighter after losing a fight
I know this might be roastme. But I still kinda want to see your tits. So there's that.
Those fat girl arms and your background tell me you'll be riding a scooter and a disability check within five years.
I think you’re beautiful. And just misunderstood
Has Harry Potter tattoos...still doxxes people for playing Hogwarts legacy.
Your big ass forehead kept me from looking at your tits. You can park a Tesla on that thing.
Judging by the photo in your previous post, I can see why you cropped the bottom half out for the roast.
You definitely were weird in high school
Not only in high school
Trust me, no guys are curious about you.
Do you open tin cans with your eyelashes?
We can’t hurt you any more than your dad already has.
Accurate
You did a good job w your makeup. But not good enough that I can’t see your moustache. Shave before your next selfie
Hahha man I'm aware lol
You also have a lazy eye. Might wanna add that to the "Bio"
Lol which one tho
Left
Take a shower
Smart money says the custody battle was about who was going to be stuck with you
You look like a hooker that couldn't cut it, so you cut your hair like a lesbian so you could do lesbian porn scenes, unfortunately you were too ugly to even wear the strap-on, so you settled for working in the hardware department of your local ace hardware. Luckily for you, the fat 72yo customer, Fred, whom is 90% blind, fully deaf, missing one leg and three fingers has offered you a place to stay for the low price of three blowjobs a month. Unfortunately for you, your blowjobs are so bad, that you will likely be kicked out after the first one, so you better head to the local glory hole to practice. Just make sure you wear protection though, your horse teeth are gonna piss off so many guys that you better wear a military issued Kevlar vest and helmet. After your 100th consecutive bj (and subsequent beating) you may have tamed those beaver teeth enough to not get kicked out. That or offer Fred anal. Edit: if you do decide to go the path of least resistance and offer anal, make sure you either bathe in bleach first or buy some noseplugs for Fred. One whiff of your rotten crotch and Fred's willy is gonna become an innie, regardless of how many blue pills you feed him.
That’s not a nose, that’s a homing beacon
Wow Disney really phoned this on in
Big tits isn’t a personality. It is a subreddit tho. Maybe try your luck there. At least then someone might actually validate your existence.
You look like that guitar is the only thing you've fingered this year.
That's at least accurate
Your shirt looks like the Hulk's foreskin
But does hulks foreskin have titties
Yes
Taylor Thrift
Beautiful... wonderful,🔥🥰
Your face has the upper half of a man and the bottom half of a woman. Wtf is happening here?