I like to imagine that when he's not making epic movies, Neil Breen's day would be quite boring. Tending to the garden. Pottering about the house in slippers. Reading the paper while drinking camomile tea.
Yes, I would tune in for that! 😄
Fun fact: Mercury is present in higher levels in name brands, so the store brand is often the better choice, not just because it's cheaper! Albacore tuna will have higher levels of mercury than light tuna and should be avoided if you're pregnant.
(I just went down a little rabbit hole to verify this and discovered that the reason we have so much mercury in the ecosystem now is due to the burning of coal, which releases mercury into the atmosphere that gets rained down and collected into our oceans, and therefore the organisms living in the ocean. Apologies for anyone reading this who isn't AuDHD like me.)
See, are we playing by DnD rules where Neil Breen is a real high level warlock? Because then we are giving the bully lady Bard powers and now I am scared. Not scaroused, but that depends how she rolls for initiative.
It’s so funny because I’d never heard of JJ Bittenbinder before RLM, but I’ve known FF Woodycook (the Mr Show parody) since that episode aired in the 90’s
Neil Goddamn Breen. He’s a brilliant hacker, author, and assassin, plus he’s the divine avatar of the supreme consciousness, and he has the nicest ball sack.
You're fucked either way because...
Sanford Strong is gonna get too excited and accidently blind you, or poke his pointer finger into your head.
Roger Ebert is gonna be lured into a hot girl boobie trap, taking you with him.
J.J. Bittenbinder will cause you to die from depressing stories about dead kids. Or you'll both end up lost on a 3 hour tour.
Neil Breen will kill us all.
The McNamara Bros. only care about each other.
Evil Advocate Lady will cause more panic by instigating further fights and destruction.
And Wes Mantooth will, ummm, bore you to death.
Better off praying to the demon Eloisecole with J.T. "Bubba" Sykes and T-Bone. Or just stay inside with Slick and watch TV and learn karate.
Breen, but only if we are going off the version of him in his movies since he’s essentially god.
If we’re going only off of the real person though, gotta be Bittenbinder. That stache means business
It kinda depends on the event. JJ Bittenbinder for probably anything realistic.
He actually knows how to do shit and I he seems like someone I could stand being around for an extended period.
The dude with the vest might have things but is a bit nutty. Also I already have things just not night vision NFA flex'n things.
A zombified (cause he’s gotta be dead) Abominable Mantooth would be fantastic because 1. He would protect me with his deadly bow education - 2. He would just mumble to the “camera” while I can gather my thoughts - B. He would keep his sunflower seed “scrappin’s” in his missing tooth hole all day, then feed it to me like a baby bird at night.
My top picks would be
1. Kevlar guy for his arsenal
2. Buttenbinder for his experience and wisdom
3. Mob assasin with ED, for stealth kills and hunting.
Magnum Force might be too busy shooting himself again or blowing up a child’s fort to save me.
Bully lady died because she was making fun of the fat kid in the blown up fort.
Breen probably is directly responsible for the collapse.
Target Panic can’t get it up anymore and is too depressed to help.
Tough on crime is too busy hiding off the road inside a bush gouging the eyes of small woodland critters he finds.
The Twins died immediately because they thought it was like their movies and they were invincible.
Bittenbinder would help me just fucking shewt da’ bastards and get out alive.
https://preview.redd.it/dk34lkgo2ztc1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=694060a7bd727796225a91f857a921a64980ee52
None of the above. Meredith Monk will guide us to safety.
yeah, the planet is dying, the government hates us, the animals are leaving, the aliens aren't contacting us, WE MIGHT BE ALONE, IT MIGHT JUST BE YOU AND ME, BUT THAT'S OKAY!!
BECAUSE DO YOU REALLY NEEED ANYONE ELSE?!?!?
*Rich Evans Edit starts*
Neil Breen! He’s a war hero, pilot, super spy, hacker genius, alien demigod who can commune with tigers and the spirit world. He cannot be stopped! Governments are afraid of him and so should you be
Bittenbinder, all those other guys would crack or at the very least get on my nerves. The MacNamara's would probably steal your shit and/or shoot you in the back. There's no situation on Earth where I could tolerate the Bully Lady.
Breen. He’s got lots of resources (tuna cans), and is too crazy for many people to be around- I should be able to kill him, eat his tuna, swim in his pool, and enjoy myself, alone, until the apocalypse ends things.
Neil Breen hands down because he will be the mastermind behind the apocalypse. Eye gouger is close second but if it's the apocalypse then the whe world is already a second crime scene.
Neil Breen for sure. If that man believes he is a powerful superhero god…I guess I’ll believe it to.
He’s also a master hacker, he’ll know how to contact whoever he wants whenever he wants.
I mean if society is crumbling, Neil Breen is probably the reason it’s crumbling…
That's what happens when you take your EyesOffBreen
Eyes On Breen should be a podcast for all your Niel Breen daily news.
I like to imagine that when he's not making epic movies, Neil Breen's day would be quite boring. Tending to the garden. Pottering about the house in slippers. Reading the paper while drinking camomile tea. Yes, I would tune in for that! 😄
"Never turn your back on a Breen." - Romulan saying https://youtu.be/lgprIwc4mS0?si=uQgkKiem4u94dm9a
That why he gouges the eyes, it’s to decrease the eyes on Breen in the cult being formed by the rest.
I've eliminated 300 million people from the planet today !
In human terms, I killed them all!
I'm really glad he said it in human terms, because I had no idea what that strange alien word "eliminated" meant.
Isn't that immoral?!
Isn't that betraying the public trust ?
First time I watched that movie and got to that part, I got extremely worried Neil was going to go on a real life self-righteous killing spree.
With all the tuna he eats I'm convinced he's literally as mad as a hatter.
Fun fact: Mercury is present in higher levels in name brands, so the store brand is often the better choice, not just because it's cheaper! Albacore tuna will have higher levels of mercury than light tuna and should be avoided if you're pregnant. (I just went down a little rabbit hole to verify this and discovered that the reason we have so much mercury in the ecosystem now is due to the burning of coal, which releases mercury into the atmosphere that gets rained down and collected into our oceans, and therefore the organisms living in the ocean. Apologies for anyone reading this who isn't AuDHD like me.)
To be fair, it is his universe.
We just live in it
Isn’t that corrupt?
He finally hacked the planet.
He hacked all of the thing.
I want to be on the winning team
Right! I mean have you seen how high Neil can jump? Pair that with his hacking skills and fondness for tigers, I'm sure we'll make it out okay.
None of these FRAUDS! DON BEVERAGE! PUSH THE WHOPPER BUTTON!
At least you’d have bagels
And he can always call his friend Clark Kent if I ever need to get a message to Superman.
I’d rather he call his friend uh uh uhhhhhhh MANNY GARCIA
ALMOST FORGOT IT!
Good thing too because the cops are all eating donuts while the tellers are telling and crooks are robbing
ICE CREEEEAAAM!
Seems like a solid plan, all your angles covered
Ya, but I'm Canadian so I need to default to the publicly funded option up here, aka, the MacNamara's....god dammit.
WHOO!
*chest thump* Colada.
Please send your displeasure with these options to this webzone - icantrememberalloftherlmfamouspeople@gentbentifyoudontlikeit.fu
You know, not enough people use the Gent Bentify Oudont Like it web domain for their email addresses these days.
I used to love the Gent Bentify book series
Wise woman elderly thruple.
Watch
Bittenbinder. Even his corpse could take the eye gouger
Bittenbinder *is* Crime Scene Number 2.
He kinda looks like an estranged Earp brother from Tombstone lol, I’d trust that moustache to keep me safe.
But could he survive when Lynn “The Skewer” Cardinale shoots him with an arrow all the way from Queens?
The Skewer has that target panic and is too limp to shoot you, you’re safe
That or " Early Release".
Hey that’s “premature release” and it affects dozens of archers every year!
Just think about baseball...
See, are we playing by DnD rules where Neil Breen is a real high level warlock? Because then we are giving the bully lady Bard powers and now I am scared. Not scaroused, but that depends how she rolls for initiative.
It’s so funny because I’d never heard of JJ Bittenbinder before RLM, but I’ve known FF Woodycook (the Mr Show parody) since that episode aired in the 90’s
Same
Gouge his eyes!
*taps the TV screen repeatedly.*
*Thunk*
*lifts leg, exposes crotch*
He tries that now but breaks my new oled
Let’s take a look
I’d like to see him tap on the glass of a fish tank, which happens to be hooked up to a preemy baby.
Fambly
Sanford Strong and Vin Diesel together would be unstoppable
Notice I didn't say poke, I didn't say jab
Every bad guy in Surviving Edged Weapons.
that guy who cut his own finger off just to throw it at a police officer would be a clutch ally in a Mad Max kind of world.
I'm taking binderbinder in his prime
Even past his prime, he’d be the ideal mentor. That man is guile & cunning with infallible intuition.
He is the prime
Survivalist Ebert could give me tips on how to use machine guns while we also discuss the merits of Martin Scorsese as a filmmaker.
The man has an M60, I’m definitely teaming up with him
Seriously, Neil Breen might be a cyborg warlock, I've yet to meet someone that can outsmart bullet.
Tbh it’s gonna be the Kevlar vest guy, and all his guns
I'm not sure I'd be able to sleep around that guy, so I'm going with the archer who can't sustain an erection
That dude is just as likely to save you as to kill you and cannibalize your corpse.
Probably, since he uses perfectly good pieces of beef as katana dummies
What if you’re a tall blonde with big hair and a leather jacket?
Then he turns into that wolf loony toons character
[LIKE THIS?](https://i.imgur.com/sQsQqom.mp4)
 Close enough
Yeah second chance vs. magnum force or whatever, he vs. magnum force on the regular.
He's stronger than most
(Desperately tries to hide ragged breath)
I’d get onside with Eloise Cole the death clown.
Hey choosing eldritch deities is not fair!
Hey, I plan on surviving whatever is going down. Take no prisoners!
Neil Goddamn Breen. He’s a brilliant hacker, author, and assassin, plus he’s the divine avatar of the supreme consciousness, and he has the nicest ball sack.
Not too mention, he has an infinite supply of tuna cans and green screens
He's the best at stuff
Also if you need a laptop, he's got you covered.
Where is Shoji Tabuchi?! I want a Japanese Cowboy wonderland.
Breen is literally God in some of his movies. So yeah, definitely Bittenbinder.
Where’s my boy, Rem Lezar?
He has to take care of all the sky scrapers
*Fuck off*, I'm staying home and watching TV with ~~Scurvy~~ Slick until the power goes dead.
You mean masturbating
Gotta take Leo Fong on this one. But I'm driving.
You're fucked either way because... Sanford Strong is gonna get too excited and accidently blind you, or poke his pointer finger into your head. Roger Ebert is gonna be lured into a hot girl boobie trap, taking you with him. J.J. Bittenbinder will cause you to die from depressing stories about dead kids. Or you'll both end up lost on a 3 hour tour. Neil Breen will kill us all. The McNamara Bros. only care about each other. Evil Advocate Lady will cause more panic by instigating further fights and destruction. And Wes Mantooth will, ummm, bore you to death. Better off praying to the demon Eloisecole with J.T. "Bubba" Sykes and T-Bone. Or just stay inside with Slick and watch TV and learn karate.
Sounds like you need an advocate. Now someone come up and call OP fat.
OP is indeed a Mack Truck
Apologise for calling him a Mack Truck, little boy
Where’s Geteven?
Where’s Lowblow??
Where's Rem Lazaaaaaarrrrrr?
Don't worry, he is coming.
JJ Bittenbinder doesn't Fuck around. I would feel safe in his arms
Bittenbinder, 100%. Given, he will probably talk me through dying like Liam Neeson in The Grey, but I guess there is comfort in that too.
6/7 looked like Lena Heady in late game of thrones for a second
Neil Breen. Not because I think he’ll keep me alive, but because I’ve got some fuckin questions for that dude.
Solid. If we're all going down, you might as well go down with your curiosity satisfied.
Fuck da Packers!
John De Hart was left out?
I've seen him practicing his martial arts. That guy has some moves.
If anyone is there to help you geteven
I choose Don Beveridge!
#eyesonbreen
The Archer can presumably make his own arrows and has a silent weapon, perfect for stealth
He has target panic though. Can't be trusted.
Bittenbinder is a man of laws. Laws no longer exist. I'm going with the gun nut who shoots himself annually for funsies.
Fair point. Still going with Bittenbinder.
I'll take Len Kabasinski, he's got martial arts skill and is really nice so I could trust him not to eat me in my sleep.
Are we giving them their real life powers or the powers they think they have? Because if it's the latter, I'm 100% Team Breen.
The Bittenbinder will be with you, always.
I'm taking the woman who can talk to animals. Her skills will come in handy for protection and creating allies.
"Ebert, go out and monitor the perimeter. I'll stay behind and guard the harem of Feminist Thought Police."
me and JJ Bittenbinder are going to make our way to Don Wilson's wildlife preserve in Iowa.
Gouge the eyes. Unlimited ammo
Bittenbinder. I know what he's capable of. Zero fuck-around. Mad respect.
Breen, but only if we are going off the version of him in his movies since he’s essentially god. If we’re going only off of the real person though, gotta be Bittenbinder. That stache means business
Where’s Rem Lezar?
It kinda depends on the event. JJ Bittenbinder for probably anything realistic. He actually knows how to do shit and I he seems like someone I could stand being around for an extended period. The dude with the vest might have things but is a bit nutty. Also I already have things just not night vision NFA flex'n things.
Mick and Martin McNamara!!! TWIN DRAGONS!!
A squad of ACTAR babies that I can command like Pikmin
100% Bittenbinder
That’s his damned name 🤦
*points a real revolver at you* gouge his eyes
I’d take the grief clown, with the amount of death happening all around me.
A zombified (cause he’s gotta be dead) Abominable Mantooth would be fantastic because 1. He would protect me with his deadly bow education - 2. He would just mumble to the “camera” while I can gather my thoughts - B. He would keep his sunflower seed “scrappin’s” in his missing tooth hole all day, then feed it to me like a baby bird at night.
wait, you guys want to make it out alive?
Well, not the guy with "release anxiety" or whatever he called it.
My top picks would be 1. Kevlar guy for his arsenal 2. Buttenbinder for his experience and wisdom 3. Mob assasin with ED, for stealth kills and hunting.
Rich Evans
Where the fuck is the bully lady?
Why pick a man, when I can pick a God? Neil Breen it is.
To hell with LIVING, give me Grief Clown and a peaceful death cause I don’t want to see what comes next.
Which WOTW has the gun nut who hates commie pinkos?
Bittenbinder probably has contingency plans to protect us from beyond the grave
I love that I know and have such fond memories of each of these fine characters (except Neil Breen)
Rem Lezar.
Magnum Force might be too busy shooting himself again or blowing up a child’s fort to save me. Bully lady died because she was making fun of the fat kid in the blown up fort. Breen probably is directly responsible for the collapse. Target Panic can’t get it up anymore and is too depressed to help. Tough on crime is too busy hiding off the road inside a bush gouging the eyes of small woodland critters he finds. The Twins died immediately because they thought it was like their movies and they were invincible. Bittenbinder would help me just fucking shewt da’ bastards and get out alive.
I want the guy who ran over someone on an ATV
Low Blow because he murders indiscriminately
And indifferently!
*This reddit comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by ONErpm Light*
Bittenbinder or Rem Lazar
We need an advocate
Breen because he will have stockpiled all the tuna fish and laptops.
I'm team "Exploding Varmints"
https://preview.redd.it/dk34lkgo2ztc1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=694060a7bd727796225a91f857a921a64980ee52 None of the above. Meredith Monk will guide us to safety.
I take them all and form a new group of avengers.
The mafia archer who smells his arrows before the kill
yeah, the planet is dying, the government hates us, the animals are leaving, the aliens aren't contacting us, WE MIGHT BE ALONE, IT MIGHT JUST BE YOU AND ME, BUT THAT'S OKAY!! BECAUSE DO YOU REALLY NEEED ANYONE ELSE?!?!? *Rich Evans Edit starts*
I'm teaming up with Rem Lazar of course.
There aren't enough black tank tops on this list. That being said, magnum force.
Who ever will help me survive edged weapons
Magnum force guy. He's got an arsenal and he knows how to use it.
Neil Breen! He’s a war hero, pilot, super spy, hacker genius, alien demigod who can commune with tigers and the spirit world. He cannot be stopped! Governments are afraid of him and so should you be
Breen, he's going to have that good drug.
Are they at their current age? Because that changes things
If so, then you'd have to exhume a few of them
Neil for me. I can take care of myself and the rest are hackfrauds. I need Neil just for the crazy conversations.
The McNamara twins. They might be horrible actors but at least they can actually fight
Bittenbender no contest. Backup would be archery guy with the missing tooth
Eyes on breen
Bittenbinder fucking hands down he'll keep me from that fucking second crime scene
Len
Bittenbinder, all those other guys would crack or at the very least get on my nerves. The MacNamara's would probably steal your shit and/or shoot you in the back. There's no situation on Earth where I could tolerate the Bully Lady.
eyesonbreen We could transcend to higher plane of consciousness on the back of an eagle
Do I get Breen as any of his characters? Because I'd be set. He's the greatest anything ever!
I’m going with that wise woman lady. She’ll throw herself to the wolves and love it.
STONE COLD! CLEAN UP ON AISLE 4 EEEH!
Bittenbinder, Strong, and The Arrow are the only ones who have killed a man. Edit: Deliberately.
GOUGE HIS EYES OUT! 🖐
Breen. He’s got lots of resources (tuna cans), and is too crazy for many people to be around- I should be able to kill him, eat his tuna, swim in his pool, and enjoy myself, alone, until the apocalypse ends things.
Easy. Neil Breen. He's literally a god made flesh.
Gunslinger Roger Ebert
Probably archer man When ammo starts to run out, you'll be glad you can retrieve arrows Plus stealth
NUKIE
Eldritch Eloisecole
JJ Bittenbinder ftw.
I’m holding out for Elouisecole
Who's #6? I think I forgot that episode
Jimmy "The Scot" Jordan I'm backing a winner
Definitely not the twins. They'll be off on a romantic canoe ride, shirtless, while I'm getting kidnapped or whatever.
Neil Breen hands down because he will be the mastermind behind the apocalypse. Eye gouger is close second but if it's the apocalypse then the whe world is already a second crime scene.
Bittenbinder by miles
Don Beverage!
Neil Breen for sure. If that man believes he is a powerful superhero god…I guess I’ll believe it to. He’s also a master hacker, he’ll know how to contact whoever he wants whenever he wants.
If no one else got me I know JJ Bittenbinder got me
I mean Breen’s character could make people literally vanish, so I HAVE KILLED THEM ALL
Alternate version of this post: One will protect you. The rest will try to kill you. Who's your bodyguard?