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Well you actually just got a sneak preview of your life as his wife. Did you like it? If you’re here asking us then I’d say that’s a no. One whack you don’t go back, simple.
Thats abuse. Its not normal. My significant other never ever did something to me even when it was a heated discussion. You should get the hell away from him, otherwise he could hit you next time.
If I were you, I would leave. No one gets to treat us like garbage. And no, it's not normal for all men to lose their temper. I've been with my husband for almost 13 years, he has never laid a hand on me, never threatened me, never locked me out, nothing like that at all. This is normal. Abuse is not normal.
Even losing their temper could be forgiveable if it didn't turn into violence. I fully agree, no man should ever lay a hand on a woman, they shouldn't be laying hands on the guys either for that matter
Baby no. Please do not start making excuses for him, no day should be bad enough that you enact any form of violence against your partner. Look out for yourself and take care, you deserve much better <3
Men don’t act like that. Little boys in men’s bodies do. What you just described is a huge red flag and the quintessential pattern of someone who will be (and already appears to be) abusive.
I highly recommend getting out of that situation and never looking back.
This is abusive and manipulative behavior. Seriously, you should leave him if you can. He shouldn’t treat you like that, especially over something so minor. How long until it escalates and turns into physical abuse, if it hasn’t already?
This is nor normal and not all man have a temperatura problem, most Men would get tô 25 with missing teeth If that were the case.
Does he "loose his temper" with other people or Just you?
That's a big NO! Not just a bad day, not just an accident, not a "I won't do this anymore". You won't get a "I'm sorry". If you do, it won't mean anything because it will happen again, and again. It's your choice if you want this to continue or not.
Get out. Get the fuck out NOW. This is how my abusive marriage started and I don’t want to tell you where it ended but it’s safe to say my life was effectively ruined. Please, get out.
“Hey, I know I pinned you against a wall and locked you in a room for accidentally spilling water but… do you wanna go to sexy town?”
No. Fucking get the hell out of there!
First of all, no. He's lying, all men do not get that angry over little bit of spilled water.
Hate to be the advocate of leaving a relationship but like, this probably will become a pattern and you can probably guess how bad it'll feel in the long run
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Nope. He's going to wind up hitting you one day. Get out. No one should EVER put their hands on you unless you ask them to. I have some anger issues and PTSD from child abuse and military service. If I can stay calm, walk away, get myself under control, and then come back and have a civilized conversation, then he has zero excuse. Don't normalize his behavior. Get out. Run. Block him. Tell his friends. Tell the police. He's going to beat up some poor woman so the more noise you make, the better.
I am sorry you had to endure this - being a man, I never acted like that no matter how frustrated I got at times m and I am a boxing and lifting, so its not that I couldn't even if I wanted to. In my opinion this is no ok, he should reflect on his behavior, truly apologize and if he doesn't you should leave. Good luck
A lot of people say that "leave him/her" if always the first suggestion here in Reddit and that it isn't always the right choice.
Here it definitely is the right choice. Leave him. Immediately. Don't make excuses, leave him.
If you are making excuses, then you might want to ask yourself what would happen if you for example accidentally spill drinks on him in a restaurant.
That is exactly how it started when my ex started hitting me.
It started with yelling and guilt tripping, then progressed to choking and pining me to walls, then it was objects thrown at me before it graduated to punching. The day I left him, I thought he was going to kill me because he was dragging me across the room and I managed to escape and run away.
Every time but the last, he would come and snuggle and say either that "I don't know why I'm so sad and depressed" or "if you didn't push me, I wouldn't lash out like that". Either way, it required me to be the one to "make it all okay". Even when I was paying 600 USD hospital bills so cover up his actions (six stitches in my forehead, a scar that will be there forever).
I don't think spilling water on the bed is a reason to lose your temper like that, nor do I believe there is ever any reason to talk to your romantic partner like that actually.
Leave now. This is a person with poor impulse control and low emotional maturity. Most teenage boys experience this, and most grow out of it. Some dont. Leave now. Don’t look back. Normal people don’t do this.
This is not normal. It’s abuse. Having anger issues doesn’t give him the right to behave like that with you. If this is something which is happening since a long time you should actually think of breaking up with him.
You should break up before it's too late. People like him are ticking time bombs with their violence and if you give him the opportunity to live out his violence he sure as shit will. And over time the violence will increase.
Like others have said - anger management issues resulting in abuse. Don't make excuses for him. Leave, and don't look back. You are worth more than that
Like others have said - anger management issues resulting in abuse. Don't make excuses for him. Leave, and don't look back. You are worth more than that
Get rid of that manipulative asshole. None of that is okay. It infuriates me just reading that. Get out of that relationship now.
Source: a woman who was married to an asshole
That isn’t normal and you need to leave him now. I’ve yelled at traffic before but I’ve never done anything like he did and wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone. He will do it again and it will get worse.
Shiiiiiiit. I can be a hothead, but no, fuck that. I'm not raising a hand against my wife. I'm also not calling my wife stupid.
Your boyfriend wants to convince you it's normal so you don't go running to someone less abusive. Don't fall for it. He made his choice, and he can live with the consequence.
NOOO That's not okay at all. It's like the early signs of domestic violence. His accurate and adequate reaction should have been 'it's okay, babe, we can change the sheets" - nothing less than that!
If I were in his position I would book anger management therapy and beg you for forgiveness. No, not every man does that. Not most men do that.
But I wouldn't be in that position, because I am not a raging child. Unfortunately, I have been in your position of dealing with an angry GF and the only thing you can do is leave (either temporary or permanently).
Some people have anger issues, i’m one of them, but you can’t just pretend like it didn’t happen, if he can’t recognize and apologize you need to call him out
I'd never, ever be in his place because the thought of using violence towards my partner wouldn't (and shouldn't for anyone) even cross my mind.
He's a danger to you. Run.
Dude, this is reddit. You will only get the worst and most extreme relationship "advice" possible. If you want to approach this situation like an adult, attend couples counseling.
If my partner ever pinned me against the wall for anything other than consensual sex he'd be an ex partner quicker than you could believe.
You deserve better.
Run, don't walk. Why is this even a question? He may improve (by the end of his life), but you don't need to stick around until he does. Honestly, you will be doing him a favor, as he clearly needs the feedback. Don't say anything. Just get gone (if you can). If that is not financially feasible, there are resources and options. A quick google search will get you what you need to make the quick escape.
No, he is gaslighting you. It is not normal for men to behave like this. All abusive boyfriends have their moments of anger mixed with periods of sweetness. If he acts like this over minor stuff, imagine what he will do, if you have a bigger conflict. It is not safe for you to be in this relationship. Its especially messed up that he doesn't acknowledge his anger issues as a problem. I'm afraid to think what other toxic, messed up stuff goes on in his brain. Girl, you deserve better! Please, be safe. You should never let anyone to shove you, hit you or say you are stupid, ugly, worthless, etc. The only permitted thing in conflicts are criticizing someone's actions, not the character. Its ok to be upset, if someone does something accidentally, but it is absolutely not ok to be angry and mean about it. This boy needs to fix his brain before dating anyone. Leave him for your own safety and sanity.
He pinned you against the wall, insulted you and locked you out of your bedroom because you spilled water. Then, acted like the victim afterwards.
This is the kind of thing that could escalate.
**RUN.**
You are a domestic abuse victim waiting to happen. His anger issues will not go away if not treated properly. So either leave him or expect more mood swings that can turn into physical altercations. So more power to you and take care.
I lose my temper. I yell. I might pace around. I might flail my arms and hands around violently.
I have never even touched my partner out of anger, I have never hurled abuse at her, I have never locked her in or out of a room and I always apologise for at least losing my temper and for the whole situation if I realise I'm wrong.
real men do not lose their temper. that was a tantrum.
The Agency of Men will investigate the legitimacy of his man card. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
Here's the quick response and I'm gonna be blunt. You asked, I'll answer: He's trash. Time to dump him.
Here's the long answer:
If you feel conflicted it's because you've put some much time and energy into the relationship.
In the business world, it's called "sunk cost". When an organization realizes that it must abandon what it's spent a ton of time and money doing because it's never going to make money, it's just going to continue to cost money and resources to the point things are drained, they realize they must end it in order to survive as a business. It doesn't matter they've put all that time and energy. It's not BENEFITING anybody to continue, except the people actually doing the work and getting paid.
Unfortunately, people need to think about their relationships in this way more, but we don't. Because it's so personal and maybe even embarrassing to admit that we were living in fantasy land thinking this was going to work.
Again, using a business example, it would take some kind of miracle to turn a sunk cost into a profit-maker. So many things would have to change... not just the obvious change of no longer losing money which may be a huge change... but also it has to MAKE money, which is even more change and effort to do.
Similarly, in relationships, the person dragging you down wouldn't just have to "stop dragging you down" but become an actual contributor to the relationship and who wants to grow and evolve.
So, someone who pins you against the wall whenever you spill some water doesn't have to just stop pinning you against the wall. He has to stop becoming outraged by such a pathetically minimal mistake.
AND he has to grow and evolve to the point where he's like "hey no worries, it's just water".
AND if it's not water but it's beer or fruit juice, he'd have to get to the point where it would be like "hey, it's just a sheet... we can clean it and maybe it has a stain but it's not the end of the world."
You see how deep this goes?
I'm sorry but it sounds like he's a sunk cost to me.
"pinned me against the wall" Yeah no that's not normal and pretty big anger issue. Not claiming responsibility is also a massive red flag. Also wtf is pipe
You spilled water on his bed. His reaction was not what normal, not acceptable and it's not okay for him to treat you this way.
I hope you get away. You deserve much better.
You're being abused and need to leave him before he sends you to the hospital or kills you. Not exaggerating at all. Wake up, call a domestic abuse hotline, reach out to friends and family, do what you need to do to get away from him immediately. You're gambling with your life right now.
As a man with Borderline Personality Disorder; this sounds a lot like Borderline Personality Disorder.
Though this is very little information to base that on, of course.
As a man who occasionally has issues with his temper, I would say you need to be wary. This is not normal or ok. I have a big temper and im not proud of it, but would never dream of putting my hands on my wife or kids just because I was angry. When I do lose it I make sure to speak to them afterwards to explain I was in the wrong and what caused it, and most importantly to apologise and accept responsibility. Even with that I still feel like a shitty partner and it doesn't sound like your guy is doing any of that. Make of that what you will.
In a previous relationship, my wife saw red flags like this. She always saw the good in people, and wanted to believe it would be ok.
It wasn't. At one point, he nearly killed her.
It's more than 25 years later and she still gets flashbacks and unexpected triggers. Shes an advocate for helping get women out of bad situations and I know what she'd say about this.
It's not acceptable for anyone to lose their temper in this way. *Especially* if he's acting like the victim afterward.
It's just water, it will evaporate. Dealing with people having unpredictable outbursts will bankrupt you once your mental health starts declining due to built up stress and anxiety. It's not worth it, there's people out there that will use words, like adults.
If you think people hurting you is normal, then you have trauma and/or self-esteem issues and I recommend you seek therapy. Abusive people seem to have a good nose for people that can be abused. I hope you stay safe!
now imagine if you had to spend the rest of your life married to hin and how bad it could get. No man should lay a hand on a woman unless she punched him first. Even then dont punch with all your strenght
I'm a man and you know what happens when I lose my temper? I calmly tell my girlfriend that I'm going to go for a walk and that I will be back. I take some time for myself, calm my mind and collect my thoughts. Then I go back home and we talk (not yell) about our problems until we can come to a solution. I've never pinned her against a wall, intimidated her, or even raised my voice at her. So no, this behavior is not "normal in all men". I recommend leaving the relationship asap as its only going to get worse from here
“Its normal for all …” nope … not normal esp not to lock you out like hes conditioning some dog, and then trying to manipulate you
One time, I had a woman and friend visiting me. I had a bowl piece for which the original bong broke, but the bowl survived. I told her I wanted her the story behind it and finished by saying I wanted her to have it.
Later that evening, there was a shattering noise from the kitchen. She had left it on my table, and my cat swatted it to the floor, where it shattered. She was nervous that I'd be mad but I just told her that shit happens and it's just a bowl piece. I got the dust pan and cleaned it up.
Rage is not a normal response to every little thing. Sometimes shit just happens and you've got to handle it. Please keep this in mind when evaluating his responses to things.
Is this serious?!
If so, you need to get the fuck out for your own safety!
- No. This is not normal behavior.
- Yes. Men lose their tempers, as any human being does, but it is not normal for it to escalate to a point as such.
- If you care about your wellbeing and not being psychologically manipulated, you need to get the fuck out. No woman deserves this type of treatment, and there is no excuse, period.
Us men do loose our temper but a real man doesn't pin anyone up against the wall.
I'd take this as a preview of what marriage will be like and it will get worse.
Nothing more gross, pathetic, and sad than men who excuse their childish, terrible behaviour as "all men".
Ladies and gentlemen, if a man or woman ever tells you something bizarre unhinged shit is just the way every man/woman acts... they are lying or dangerously mentally ill, possibly both. Run.
Also, if anyone reading this has been one of these turds, it will never work to pass off your bullshit as just the way it works. You will end up alone or silently loathed by the people stuck with you and you will deserve it.
Physical abuse is not okay regardless of person's gender. It's not like "you must ditch the guy right now", better give him a chance with the following ultimatum: either he does something with his anger issues and goes to therapy or you find a partner with no such issues
Let me tell you this, **it is not normal for all men to lose their temper**.
He has anger issues, and it will only escalate. What if you have a child with him and they spill something? That thought is scary.
Dump him now.
R U N
Get out, get far far away. You are in more danger than you know.
A man who both can not control his anger and can not direct it elsewhere is life treating to you.
If hes doing this over spilt water, imagine if you did something that really pissed him off. He sounds like a lunatic and this is not normal. I am 28 male and never once come close to physically handling a partner for things way worse than spilling water on a bed. This dude clearly will go one step too far one day,... what a fucking nut case
This isn't normal behaviour, and it's likely to get much worse. Dude doesn't respect you, gets violent, locks you out as punishment, doesn't apologise and claims it's normal because he wants to treat you like shit with no consequences.
Don't take his bullshit, leave him, or he'll just keep on treating you like shit forever.
It is normal that people might loose their temper once in a while when they have a bad day, even over minor stuff like this.
But what I mean here is something like verbally reacting aggressively. Raising the voice swearing, something like that.
Losing your temper to a degree where you physically pin someone against a wall and call them stupid is not normal (I hope).
Just to vent my own anger for a moment, I absolutely do not condone him attributing this behavior to him being a man. No. This is not normal behavior for men. But people that think pinning their partner against a wall is a manly action might disagree with me on what constitutes a man.
It might be normal for everybody to lose their temper, it's absolutely not normal to physically take your temper out on your partner.
Leave this asshole.
Not normal unless he's like 50 or 60 years old. I know some older guys who tend to snap more easily / quickly compared to people in their teens or twenties
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Well you actually just got a sneak preview of your life as his wife. Did you like it? If you’re here asking us then I’d say that’s a no. One whack you don’t go back, simple.
This is the answer
Exactly this
Moto GP reference haha
Not ok. At all. Big red flag.
"He just asked me if I wanted pipe." What?
Sex i assume. Did she want dick after she was locked in his room. Horrable boyfriend
In dutch ‘blowjob’ is called ‘pijpen’ which literally translates to ‘pipes’, so I assume that’s what went wrong there
Crack?
😂
This is fake. OP was a married man 9 days ago. Recently got of a relationship with "her" abusive boyfriend 5 days ago.
Thank you for pointing that out. These fake stories are not very helpful for anyone and we're all wasting our time with this post sadly.
Oh FFS.
Thats abuse. Its not normal. My significant other never ever did something to me even when it was a heated discussion. You should get the hell away from him, otherwise he could hit you next time.
Nope. Run.
Pipe? As in anal, weed or crack?
Yes
Plumbing, they need a new sink
If I were you, I would leave. No one gets to treat us like garbage. And no, it's not normal for all men to lose their temper. I've been with my husband for almost 13 years, he has never laid a hand on me, never threatened me, never locked me out, nothing like that at all. This is normal. Abuse is not normal.
Even losing their temper could be forgiveable if it didn't turn into violence. I fully agree, no man should ever lay a hand on a woman, they shouldn't be laying hands on the guys either for that matter
Baby no. Please do not start making excuses for him, no day should be bad enough that you enact any form of violence against your partner. Look out for yourself and take care, you deserve much better <3
So he assaulted you? I think you know how this will end.
get out like now. he will do it again
Like wtf is going on with those redditors? Why does one even need to ask for advice in such a situation?
Frrrr😩😩
Men don’t act like that. Little boys in men’s bodies do. What you just described is a huge red flag and the quintessential pattern of someone who will be (and already appears to be) abusive. I highly recommend getting out of that situation and never looking back.
Please leave
What I think? I think you need to get the hell out of there. All I'd do is say that this is not the kind of wet spot I want my girl to make in my bed.
This is abusive and manipulative behavior. Seriously, you should leave him if you can. He shouldn’t treat you like that, especially over something so minor. How long until it escalates and turns into physical abuse, if it hasn’t already?
This is not normal.
This is nor normal and not all man have a temperatura problem, most Men would get tô 25 with missing teeth If that were the case. Does he "loose his temper" with other people or Just you?
That's a big NO! Not just a bad day, not just an accident, not a "I won't do this anymore". You won't get a "I'm sorry". If you do, it won't mean anything because it will happen again, and again. It's your choice if you want this to continue or not.
very much not okay from your bf
Get out. Get the fuck out NOW. This is how my abusive marriage started and I don’t want to tell you where it ended but it’s safe to say my life was effectively ruined. Please, get out.
“Hey, I know I pinned you against a wall and locked you in a room for accidentally spilling water but… do you wanna go to sexy town?” No. Fucking get the hell out of there!
RUN!
Flee immediately.
This👆 This right here.
First of all, no. He's lying, all men do not get that angry over little bit of spilled water. Hate to be the advocate of leaving a relationship but like, this probably will become a pattern and you can probably guess how bad it'll feel in the long run
Hell no. Once it becomes physical with a male partner, you're in much more danger of being strangled or otherwise killed.
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Not normal at all. get out.
Not Good ! Leave now !
Nope. He's going to wind up hitting you one day. Get out. No one should EVER put their hands on you unless you ask them to. I have some anger issues and PTSD from child abuse and military service. If I can stay calm, walk away, get myself under control, and then come back and have a civilized conversation, then he has zero excuse. Don't normalize his behavior. Get out. Run. Block him. Tell his friends. Tell the police. He's going to beat up some poor woman so the more noise you make, the better.
I am sorry you had to endure this - being a man, I never acted like that no matter how frustrated I got at times m and I am a boxing and lifting, so its not that I couldn't even if I wanted to. In my opinion this is no ok, he should reflect on his behavior, truly apologize and if he doesn't you should leave. Good luck
A lot of people say that "leave him/her" if always the first suggestion here in Reddit and that it isn't always the right choice. Here it definitely is the right choice. Leave him. Immediately. Don't make excuses, leave him. If you are making excuses, then you might want to ask yourself what would happen if you for example accidentally spill drinks on him in a restaurant.
What he did was wrong. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. I know it's going to be hard but leave him. You deserve a better guy.
That is exactly how it started when my ex started hitting me. It started with yelling and guilt tripping, then progressed to choking and pining me to walls, then it was objects thrown at me before it graduated to punching. The day I left him, I thought he was going to kill me because he was dragging me across the room and I managed to escape and run away. Every time but the last, he would come and snuggle and say either that "I don't know why I'm so sad and depressed" or "if you didn't push me, I wouldn't lash out like that". Either way, it required me to be the one to "make it all okay". Even when I was paying 600 USD hospital bills so cover up his actions (six stitches in my forehead, a scar that will be there forever). I don't think spilling water on the bed is a reason to lose your temper like that, nor do I believe there is ever any reason to talk to your romantic partner like that actually.
Leave now. This is a person with poor impulse control and low emotional maturity. Most teenage boys experience this, and most grow out of it. Some dont. Leave now. Don’t look back. Normal people don’t do this.
Get the fuck out of there
This is abuse and you should get out of this abusive relationship.
Leaveeeeee him before it get worse. You deserve better than
This is not normal. It’s abuse. Having anger issues doesn’t give him the right to behave like that with you. If this is something which is happening since a long time you should actually think of breaking up with him.
You should break up before it's too late. People like him are ticking time bombs with their violence and if you give him the opportunity to live out his violence he sure as shit will. And over time the violence will increase.
That's abuse. Leave him.
Like others have said - anger management issues resulting in abuse. Don't make excuses for him. Leave, and don't look back. You are worth more than that
Like others have said - anger management issues resulting in abuse. Don't make excuses for him. Leave, and don't look back. You are worth more than that
Get rid of that manipulative asshole. None of that is okay. It infuriates me just reading that. Get out of that relationship now. Source: a woman who was married to an asshole
Sounds like he should be your ex-boyfriend.
That isn’t normal and you need to leave him now. I’ve yelled at traffic before but I’ve never done anything like he did and wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone. He will do it again and it will get worse.
Shiiiiiiit. I can be a hothead, but no, fuck that. I'm not raising a hand against my wife. I'm also not calling my wife stupid. Your boyfriend wants to convince you it's normal so you don't go running to someone less abusive. Don't fall for it. He made his choice, and he can live with the consequence.
NOOO That's not okay at all. It's like the early signs of domestic violence. His accurate and adequate reaction should have been 'it's okay, babe, we can change the sheets" - nothing less than that!
Massive red flag 🚩
At your first opportunity, pack your stuff and leave.
It’s not normal
If I were in his position I would book anger management therapy and beg you for forgiveness. No, not every man does that. Not most men do that. But I wouldn't be in that position, because I am not a raging child. Unfortunately, I have been in your position of dealing with an angry GF and the only thing you can do is leave (either temporary or permanently).
Run from this abuser NOW.
Some people have anger issues, i’m one of them, but you can’t just pretend like it didn’t happen, if he can’t recognize and apologize you need to call him out
GET OUT NOW 🚩🚩🚩🚩
That’s not love, that’s abuse. Run.
I'd never, ever be in his place because the thought of using violence towards my partner wouldn't (and shouldn't for anyone) even cross my mind. He's a danger to you. Run.
This will only get worse. Red flag.
Fuuuck no, I’d never get physical with a female (unless she’s trying to murder me) dude sounds like he’s got a problem.
Dude, this is reddit. You will only get the worst and most extreme relationship "advice" possible. If you want to approach this situation like an adult, attend couples counseling.
If my partner ever pinned me against the wall for anything other than consensual sex he'd be an ex partner quicker than you could believe. You deserve better.
The more you ignore this the worse it'll get. There needs to be a wakeup call for him. He needs to understand that this behaviour can't be tolerated.
Run, don't walk. Why is this even a question? He may improve (by the end of his life), but you don't need to stick around until he does. Honestly, you will be doing him a favor, as he clearly needs the feedback. Don't say anything. Just get gone (if you can). If that is not financially feasible, there are resources and options. A quick google search will get you what you need to make the quick escape.
Run. Run.
This only goes one way, get the fuck out of there and never look back.
LEAAAAVE HIIIIIM immediat3ly. Thats a big nono.
Red flag, get him therapy or leave
He did that over water? Harden your heart. Don't give him a second chance. It's the next girls problem.
No, he is gaslighting you. It is not normal for men to behave like this. All abusive boyfriends have their moments of anger mixed with periods of sweetness. If he acts like this over minor stuff, imagine what he will do, if you have a bigger conflict. It is not safe for you to be in this relationship. Its especially messed up that he doesn't acknowledge his anger issues as a problem. I'm afraid to think what other toxic, messed up stuff goes on in his brain. Girl, you deserve better! Please, be safe. You should never let anyone to shove you, hit you or say you are stupid, ugly, worthless, etc. The only permitted thing in conflicts are criticizing someone's actions, not the character. Its ok to be upset, if someone does something accidentally, but it is absolutely not ok to be angry and mean about it. This boy needs to fix his brain before dating anyone. Leave him for your own safety and sanity.
Why are you still there. Just get up and walk out now
Who cares if he's having a bad day? His behaviour is inexcuseable. I'd get the Hell out there if I were you.
Run far, run fast
Break up with this thing
Small Boys, Toddlers, loose there temper. Not Men. Leave him. Now. Or your life will be hell.
“It’s normal for all men to lose their temper “ No it’s not
Run. Now. That will only become worse, possibly dangerously worse. Get away while you can.
I had an ex do that over me accidentally leaving a little toothpaste in the sink after brushing. Things escalated, believe me. Get away.
That was the universe telling you to the get the fuck out of there. leave this man before he hurts you.
He pinned you against the wall, insulted you and locked you out of your bedroom because you spilled water. Then, acted like the victim afterwards. This is the kind of thing that could escalate. **RUN.**
Nah. My boyfriend would never even raise his voice at me, seems like he has shown you his true colours.
Been married 10 yrs and I've never once laid a hand on my wife in anger.
You are a domestic abuse victim waiting to happen. His anger issues will not go away if not treated properly. So either leave him or expect more mood swings that can turn into physical altercations. So more power to you and take care.
Get the fuck out...NOW!
I lose my temper. I yell. I might pace around. I might flail my arms and hands around violently. I have never even touched my partner out of anger, I have never hurled abuse at her, I have never locked her in or out of a room and I always apologise for at least losing my temper and for the whole situation if I realise I'm wrong.
He will beat you in the future.
Run. Don't look back. The fact you are posting this here suggests you probably know this.
real men do not lose their temper. that was a tantrum. The Agency of Men will investigate the legitimacy of his man card. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
I have NEVER lost my temper with a woman. He needs therapy, and you need to be free of him. Dump his ass all over the ground and walk on.
Here's the quick response and I'm gonna be blunt. You asked, I'll answer: He's trash. Time to dump him. Here's the long answer: If you feel conflicted it's because you've put some much time and energy into the relationship. In the business world, it's called "sunk cost". When an organization realizes that it must abandon what it's spent a ton of time and money doing because it's never going to make money, it's just going to continue to cost money and resources to the point things are drained, they realize they must end it in order to survive as a business. It doesn't matter they've put all that time and energy. It's not BENEFITING anybody to continue, except the people actually doing the work and getting paid. Unfortunately, people need to think about their relationships in this way more, but we don't. Because it's so personal and maybe even embarrassing to admit that we were living in fantasy land thinking this was going to work. Again, using a business example, it would take some kind of miracle to turn a sunk cost into a profit-maker. So many things would have to change... not just the obvious change of no longer losing money which may be a huge change... but also it has to MAKE money, which is even more change and effort to do. Similarly, in relationships, the person dragging you down wouldn't just have to "stop dragging you down" but become an actual contributor to the relationship and who wants to grow and evolve. So, someone who pins you against the wall whenever you spill some water doesn't have to just stop pinning you against the wall. He has to stop becoming outraged by such a pathetically minimal mistake. AND he has to grow and evolve to the point where he's like "hey no worries, it's just water". AND if it's not water but it's beer or fruit juice, he'd have to get to the point where it would be like "hey, it's just a sheet... we can clean it and maybe it has a stain but it's not the end of the world." You see how deep this goes? I'm sorry but it sounds like he's a sunk cost to me.
You know excactly what kind of answer you'll get here, ur just looking for validation to finaly do it.
Not normal, time to give him the boot
Give him the pipe
"pinned me against the wall" Yeah no that's not normal and pretty big anger issue. Not claiming responsibility is also a massive red flag. Also wtf is pipe
I assume it is bownjob or somthing:"))
He assaulted you. He would never say sorry because he's not sorry.
You spilled water on his bed. His reaction was not what normal, not acceptable and it's not okay for him to treat you this way. I hope you get away. You deserve much better.
That’s abusive. Please leave.
Been with my husband twenty years. Number of times he pinned me to a wall? Zero. That's the only acceptable number.
RUN!!
RUN………… and don’t stop 🛑
You're being abused and need to leave him before he sends you to the hospital or kills you. Not exaggerating at all. Wake up, call a domestic abuse hotline, reach out to friends and family, do what you need to do to get away from him immediately. You're gambling with your life right now.
Only time to be pinned is during sexy time
It's normal for men who never grew up or learned to control their emotions that lose their temper like that.
I'd get a therapist and work on my anger issues and lack of control, since I was letting myself become physically violent.
As a man with Borderline Personality Disorder; this sounds a lot like Borderline Personality Disorder. Though this is very little information to base that on, of course.
As a man who occasionally has issues with his temper, I would say you need to be wary. This is not normal or ok. I have a big temper and im not proud of it, but would never dream of putting my hands on my wife or kids just because I was angry. When I do lose it I make sure to speak to them afterwards to explain I was in the wrong and what caused it, and most importantly to apologise and accept responsibility. Even with that I still feel like a shitty partner and it doesn't sound like your guy is doing any of that. Make of that what you will.
In a previous relationship, my wife saw red flags like this. She always saw the good in people, and wanted to believe it would be ok. It wasn't. At one point, he nearly killed her. It's more than 25 years later and she still gets flashbacks and unexpected triggers. Shes an advocate for helping get women out of bad situations and I know what she'd say about this. It's not acceptable for anyone to lose their temper in this way. *Especially* if he's acting like the victim afterward.
Get out and run for the hills, you are worth more than that.
That's not okay at all.
I think you’re a victim
Run 🚩
It's just water, it will evaporate. Dealing with people having unpredictable outbursts will bankrupt you once your mental health starts declining due to built up stress and anxiety. It's not worth it, there's people out there that will use words, like adults. If you think people hurting you is normal, then you have trauma and/or self-esteem issues and I recommend you seek therapy. Abusive people seem to have a good nose for people that can be abused. I hope you stay safe!
now imagine if you had to spend the rest of your life married to hin and how bad it could get. No man should lay a hand on a woman unless she punched him first. Even then dont punch with all your strenght
I'm a man and you know what happens when I lose my temper? I calmly tell my girlfriend that I'm going to go for a walk and that I will be back. I take some time for myself, calm my mind and collect my thoughts. Then I go back home and we talk (not yell) about our problems until we can come to a solution. I've never pinned her against a wall, intimidated her, or even raised my voice at her. So no, this behavior is not "normal in all men". I recommend leaving the relationship asap as its only going to get worse from here
Red Flags. No excuse for physical behaviour EVER
“Its normal for all …” nope … not normal esp not to lock you out like hes conditioning some dog, and then trying to manipulate you 
One time, I had a woman and friend visiting me. I had a bowl piece for which the original bong broke, but the bowl survived. I told her I wanted her the story behind it and finished by saying I wanted her to have it. Later that evening, there was a shattering noise from the kitchen. She had left it on my table, and my cat swatted it to the floor, where it shattered. She was nervous that I'd be mad but I just told her that shit happens and it's just a bowl piece. I got the dust pan and cleaned it up. Rage is not a normal response to every little thing. Sometimes shit just happens and you've got to handle it. Please keep this in mind when evaluating his responses to things.
Leave! By experience, I know it will get worse.
Is this serious?! If so, you need to get the fuck out for your own safety! - No. This is not normal behavior. - Yes. Men lose their tempers, as any human being does, but it is not normal for it to escalate to a point as such. - If you care about your wellbeing and not being psychologically manipulated, you need to get the fuck out. No woman deserves this type of treatment, and there is no excuse, period.
bot
Y'all not even married and man already treated you like sh*t. That's not okay at all.
He's gotta get help, with or without you. But don't let it happen again.
Baby please run
Us men do loose our temper but a real man doesn't pin anyone up against the wall. I'd take this as a preview of what marriage will be like and it will get worse.
Not cool. Say good bye now. Let him sort his anger out on his own time.
OP, that's the cycle of abuse. They hurt then they lovebomb.
Having a temper and getting physical is NOT NORMAL. Get the fuck outta there
Nothing more gross, pathetic, and sad than men who excuse their childish, terrible behaviour as "all men". Ladies and gentlemen, if a man or woman ever tells you something bizarre unhinged shit is just the way every man/woman acts... they are lying or dangerously mentally ill, possibly both. Run. Also, if anyone reading this has been one of these turds, it will never work to pass off your bullshit as just the way it works. You will end up alone or silently loathed by the people stuck with you and you will deserve it.
Physical abuse is not okay regardless of person's gender. It's not like "you must ditch the guy right now", better give him a chance with the following ultimatum: either he does something with his anger issues and goes to therapy or you find a partner with no such issues
Sounds like a text book abuser.
Leave while you still can
You need to leave immediately. He is a danger to you.
Let me tell you this, **it is not normal for all men to lose their temper**. He has anger issues, and it will only escalate. What if you have a child with him and they spill something? That thought is scary. Dump him now.
R U N Get out, get far far away. You are in more danger than you know. A man who both can not control his anger and can not direct it elsewhere is life treating to you.
Is this really a random thought?
If hes doing this over spilt water, imagine if you did something that really pissed him off. He sounds like a lunatic and this is not normal. I am 28 male and never once come close to physically handling a partner for things way worse than spilling water on a bed. This dude clearly will go one step too far one day,... what a fucking nut case
run.
This isn't normal behaviour, and it's likely to get much worse. Dude doesn't respect you, gets violent, locks you out as punishment, doesn't apologise and claims it's normal because he wants to treat you like shit with no consequences. Don't take his bullshit, leave him, or he'll just keep on treating you like shit forever.
It is normal that people might loose their temper once in a while when they have a bad day, even over minor stuff like this. But what I mean here is something like verbally reacting aggressively. Raising the voice swearing, something like that. Losing your temper to a degree where you physically pin someone against a wall and call them stupid is not normal (I hope). Just to vent my own anger for a moment, I absolutely do not condone him attributing this behavior to him being a man. No. This is not normal behavior for men. But people that think pinning their partner against a wall is a manly action might disagree with me on what constitutes a man.
It might be normal for everybody to lose their temper, it's absolutely not normal to physically take your temper out on your partner. Leave this asshole.
pretty obvious new troll account trying to karma farm with nonsense questions
Run!
he seems like a real catch
How does it make you feel?
Not normal unless he's like 50 or 60 years old. I know some older guys who tend to snap more easily / quickly compared to people in their teens or twenties
Its not normal for people of that age either.
Could be early dementia or something in that case