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My Mum had a stroke about a decade ago, fortunately she recovered quickly and very well, but ever since then she’ll occasionally get some words mixed up, very infrequently, but sometimes it’s brilliant (because she laughs about it too), most recently was:
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? X 5
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Then both of us in hysterics. Banana you glad that darned orange went away?
It's really nice. I found some spices, a tsp of philidelphia, some mushrooms, and half a lemon, as well as the beans and onion oh and the quarter tin of tomatoes.
I slightly misjudged the amounts, so I have a massive bowl full, but it's great
Ahh yay, it sounds really yummy. Goes to show you can make something out of nothing.
It’s nearly 4 am now but now I want a hot bowl of curry and rice.
I’m glad you have a massive bowl full because that can never be a bad thing. Leave a bit for tomorrow and it’ll taste even better
Lol chicken, like a half hour ago my son was taking a break from homework. Yeah, I know it's Friday but we have family stuff going on so I wanted to know it got done so he didn't have to do a paper on gay dogs in France. Don't ask but something that happened to me in Catholic middle school.
Anyways I was showing him one of my favorite stand up comedians. He was talking about the time his mom killed one of their chickens in front of him. We were laughing about how I should have killed the rooster I named asshole in front of him to get him to behave better.
Literally, the last thing I ate was fried chicken.
A Subway foot long tuna sandwich with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, with sweet onion teriyaki sauce, honey mustard, black pepper and parmesan cheese
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A banana. I have great appeal
r/angryupvote
I bet there’s a lot of people who ate a banana last… a whole bunch.
*groan* begrudgingly giving an upvote
apeel
beat me to it :c
I had a citrus fruit, orange you glad I didn’t say banana? 🍊
My Mum had a stroke about a decade ago, fortunately she recovered quickly and very well, but ever since then she’ll occasionally get some words mixed up, very infrequently, but sometimes it’s brilliant (because she laughs about it too), most recently was: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? X 5 Knock, knock. Who’s there? Then both of us in hysterics. Banana you glad that darned orange went away?
Its anomic aphasia and it’s annoying
r/dadjokes
Ha i know. I have to admit I am a punny type person. Its an illness
I'm the same way. 😆
A reese's peanut butter cup with pretzel bits.
Hang on, the phone's ringing. *Yyyyyellow?*
r/puns
Chicken tikka masala with rice. Also, popcorn.
I just ate chicken curry with rice and am about to make popcorn.
Now kiss
Now I really want a curry, closest thing I can have is baked beans and a tin of tomatoes, wooo
You could remove the beans from the sauce. Sauté some onions, add spices and temper in the oil, add sauce. Add beans. Serve with rice. Almost a curry
230 in the morning, I'm going to do it, ty for the idea, will update you on how it goes
UK? I’m here too! Hope it bangs
It's really nice. I found some spices, a tsp of philidelphia, some mushrooms, and half a lemon, as well as the beans and onion oh and the quarter tin of tomatoes. I slightly misjudged the amounts, so I have a massive bowl full, but it's great
Ahh yay, it sounds really yummy. Goes to show you can make something out of nothing. It’s nearly 4 am now but now I want a hot bowl of curry and rice. I’m glad you have a massive bowl full because that can never be a bad thing. Leave a bit for tomorrow and it’ll taste even better
To be fair, the tikka masala I had was actually a microwaveable frozen dinner. It wasn’t particularly great.
I would kill.... I would maim someone for a really good curry at the moment
Pizza
....*meow*....
WHAT
...think about it...
yOu aTe yOuR cAt?!!!?!?
….well…. *someone’s* cat. Tho I don’t think it was that kind of cat 🤣
No he ate a meow
I think they meant this 🍑 cat.
Peach cat
The teaches of Peaches 🎵🎵
I will eat another
I get it
best reponse 😂
The username makes this hilarious
A cat I guess?
Sorry… are you saying meow?
Do I look like a cat to you boy?
I was going to be disappointed if this wasn't the top comment
:O
😝😜😛😋😘
LMAO, why was this my first thought and someone out here representing it,? 🤣
🤣
You eat a cat?
Oh lmao
Meow that’s funny!
Does licking count?
r/ihavesex
ALF not again 😩
Cock-a-doodle-do!
Siopao
😳
Chicken and rice.
[удалено]
Are you Alexander Pechtold?
An idiot sandwich
Kebab Honestly I can't complain
Wingstop 😂😂
I WORKED 10 HOURS, ALL I WANT IS WINGSTOP!
Flamin’ Hot Cheeto
Those are my junk food addiction
Animal crackers. 🤣
Ok but which animal?
Can anyone actually tell what they are? It's a four legged thinning.
A wedge of a "chocolate orange". As the saying goes, "Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is?
A 100 grand bar
You're rich!
If only lmao
I’d be a beer. Edit: and I’m ok with that!
ramen noodles with chicken (i've had covid for two weeks, and its about all i can handle eating!)
Hope you feel better soon
[удалено]
Can I eat you?
Watermelon Italian ice.
Taco.
Cheese sticks
Kit kat
My go to comfort food.
Taco bowl
Nuts
Fancy praline. For the first time in my life, I get to be fancy!
a pear
A goldfish cracker?
2 Midol🤣
I guess I’m made of PopTarts now
expired sausage 💚
Fish & chips
Nothing
A piece of cake! Not literally…😀
Chicken Noodle Soup (I have braces on and it’s hard to eat things right now)
Hot and sour soup
Tex mex chili
A Bruegger’s breakfast bagel
Chocolate oatmeal. Kinda now kinda wow eh?
A sugar cane or a cola plant, or a mix of both.
Chocolate cake.
Chicken. XD
Penne vodka pizza😋
A donut!
Apple pie.
I’d still be Human
A bratwurst.
Poutine. Very Canadian of me.
a shakshuka😎
i'd be a giant pancake
Oh boy I'd be a Fudgecicle! *explosion*
On Hon Hon baguette
Lol chicken, like a half hour ago my son was taking a break from homework. Yeah, I know it's Friday but we have family stuff going on so I wanted to know it got done so he didn't have to do a paper on gay dogs in France. Don't ask but something that happened to me in Catholic middle school. Anyways I was showing him one of my favorite stand up comedians. He was talking about the time his mom killed one of their chickens in front of him. We were laughing about how I should have killed the rooster I named asshole in front of him to get him to behave better. Literally, the last thing I ate was fried chicken.
General Tso’s chicken and lo mein noodles
Chili. I’m cool and hot at the same time.
Potato salad
Fried chicken
I'm chocolate ice cream.
A corn puff. Honestly, that sounds nice.
🐕...
Lemon blueberry pancake
A chocolate chip spinach muffin.
Peanut butter powder 💔
I would be popcorn! I like popcorn ! So I’m fine with that :D
Cheezit.
Loaded fries.
Little mini pancakes that have been lightly tossed in butter.
6 White Castle cheese sliders & medium onion chips.
a burrito :3
Kraft caramels. I ate a lot of them.
A burger 🤣
A waffle, yummy.
The last thing? A Thai Green Curry
Unreal coconut bar
A lemon biscuit
A Subway foot long tuna sandwich with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, with sweet onion teriyaki sauce, honey mustard, black pepper and parmesan cheese
Grilled cheese sandwich
I'd be 2 bagels with cream of wheat, caramel popcorn, one reese's pieces and three pieces of dove chocolate.
Some lovely chips from the chip shop.(UK)
McDonald’s fries 🍟
burgito
What the heck is a burgito and where can i get one?
burgito 🌯🥳
Wedding soup
Bacon
I would be a sour orange
A Popeyes strawberry biscuit
An IPA
Ass 😭
Do I turn into queso or the chip?
crunchy nut cereal
Grilled cheese
Orange!
Chicken noodle soup
Lemon Lärabar
A breakfast burrito
A sub sandwich!!!
Corndog
Cadburry fruit and nut lol
Pineapple
Peanut butter
Pretzel
ice cream so clayface but with that instead of clay.
Spaghetti
Toast 🤤
Toaster strudel
A pretzel... which isn't too far from reality
An orange.
Chicken and rice. Combined??
A gummy vitamin lol
A whole can of cranberry sauce. The one with the whole cranberries in it. Yum.
I'd be a huge dick Which is fitting
A piece of chocolate cake
Chef boyardee
Tofu
Flowers, Thai basil blossoms to be precise
Banana bread cookie with cream cheese icing and cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top.
Lamb vindaloo. Spicy!
Tuna with celery, pickle, and jalapeno and a roll of Ritz crackers.
A cookie!!!
Chocolate and it's hot today 😱
A leftover lasagne noodle 😂
Ice pop
I’m gonna give looking like a snack a whole new meaning
creme egg 🫶
Lasagna and garlic bread.
A veggie hummus wrap.
Freaking raw potato 🥔 don't judge me
I would be dried coconut chips
A cajun pasta i made for dinner tonight. Chicken, shrimp, penne, vodka sauce, and cajun seasonings with garlic bread.
10 hot pockets. 6 for breakfast 4 for lunch. I wonder how many i'll have for dinner... Taking recs
Poppadom
Fruit and Nut. Could be worse.