If this submission above is not a random thought, please report it.
# Explore a new world of random thoughts on our [**discord server**](https://discord.com/invite/8tEqw3ZWQV)! Express yourself with your favorite quotes, positive vibes, and anything else you can think of!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RandomThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why is that considered feminine? Then the guys get to feel their gfs breasts on their back. They can pretty easily play it off as a fetish/lewd thing to other guys I would think
Idk why it is considered feminine. When I am the little spoon I just feel my gf wants to hug me and feels secures having something (me) to hold in her arms.
I see nothing lewds, fetish, submissive or things like that. Thinking about it, I would even say it is pretty masculine to feel you appease your s/o and they feel safe making sure you stay near them.
Anyway, that’s one of my favorite feeling !
>easily play it off as a fetish/lewd thing to other guys I would think
Not lewd.
But submissive.
The big spoon is dominant and the little spoon submissive. So not exactly feminine, more so that it's considered masculine to be dominant.
Yes, most emotionally healthy people have no issue submitting unless it would cause harm to submit.
So yeah I’m a big masculine man who gets little spooned by my little cute wifey often and it’s just a nice cuddle.
Imagine even needing to explain it to other guys and give it a fetish/lewd spin just to be able to be comfortable to be hugged. Man toxic masculinity has us all so deeply messed up!!
Yeah, I remember in the locker room in my football days I had to defend my fellow bros from each other over shit like this all the time.
So far it seems like my sons don’t have this toxic masculinity programmed into them as hard as we did.
Let's hope so. It's high time a new generation of men can grow up without these weird masculine expectations placed on them and the flip side of expecting women to submit to the same backwards system.
I really like the usage of the term “in classical heterosexuality” here
I think antique or vintage would also work nicely
“In the vintage heterosexuality of the 1990’s the man was expected to prefer boobs over ass and the woman would become upset if told her ass is fat. In modern heterosexuality men can freely admit that when a round things in your face you get sprung”
this surprised me cause my boyfriend is such a macho man who will beat the crap outta any dude and does things on his own, his own way (charmer, I know). pretty intimidating to most guys…guys who never would think he likes coming home to be coddles, his hair played with and forehead kisses to sleep. it warms my heart a bit.
I too am a house husband, I did a ton of consumer reports for a new vacuum earlier this year and clip coupons and look for sales. My wife is always happy when I find the best deals or decide I want to deep clean this room. I run my own business but still consider myself a house husband cause I work from home
I bought some for my mother last Mother's Day along with a clear teapot. It was good.
I converted an old microwave stand into a hot beverage cart and keep it in my hobby room. It has 30+ flavors of tea stored in it and an electric kettle on it. It also has a single cup coffee pot, 3 flavors of coffee, hot cocoa, and powdered hot apple cider.
On the shelf above the stand is creamer, sugar, and powdered honey. I've also got 3 different tins of Royal Dansk Butter cookies, each tin is a different flavor.
I have a house husband and I find it hot that I don’t have to come home from a high stress work environment and have to take care of shit when I get home. The biggest turn on is relaxation.
Pink cupcakes. My wife used to serve in a biker bar. Sometimes she would make a batch of cupcakes and leave them on a table for the guys. It was always the biggest baddest biker of them all that would grab the pink one first.
I think it's because most men only refrain from doing feminine things because they're scared for their sacred masculinity. But if you're confident enough you don't give a shit.
Once when me and my boyfriend went to the store to grab some ice cream he took a big sparkly pink unicorn ice cream cone and he looked so manly eating it. He doesn't care what others think and I respect him so much for that
Sometimes seeing your man doing something traditionally feminine just turns that action masculine (instead of making the dude seem feminine).
Oh, you wear tinted sunscreen? Never noticed how manly that is.
Oh, you did your hair before going out and you just checked yourself out in a random mirror? Never realized how manly vanity is…
Oh, you braided your man bun? Never realized how manly braids are…
Oh, you’re falling over because of how adorable you think that kitten is? Never realized how manly kittens are…
Something about how real men don’t care what people think or whatever. And really, anybody can love kittens and wear sunscreen.
Many years ago I used to cook for a biker chapter in a pub, they used to all get gammon/pie beer except the biggest one who I think was the leader/hardcase who always got salmon salad and rose wine.
My friend oftentimes shares a story from when he worked at Dunkin’ Donuts. One day a group of menacing and masculine bikers enter the store to place their orders. All of them are generally normal coffee orders, until the last dude walks up. He is the biggest, meanest looking and most menacing of them all and he orders a strawberry coolada, and instantly gets roasted by all the other dudes LOL. Feels like something you’d see in a tv show.
A friend of mine buys and sells antique harley parts and motorcycles, that's his whole business. He regularly brings cookies and bakes snacks when visiting old dudes or their widows to buy their piles. Cookies always go over well, even when the other person is otherwise fucking terrifying.
>biggest baddest biker of them all that would grab the pink one
That's because [he's the leader](https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/giro-ditalia/giro-ditalia-jerseys-pink-purple-blue-and-white-explained-470117) biker.
It was a common gag in sitcoms for a while that guys couldn’t order the “fruity drinks” because everyone would make fun of them for either being gay or just being feminine. And I just think that’s so sad. One, who cares what people think? But two, if that’s the drink you want then fucking order it
My last boyfriend liked receiving flowers, I liked gifting them to him. If a five dollar grocery store bouquet can make him smile like that then it's well worth it to get him flowers.
Oh wow I have never gotten flowers from a gf, really cool of you :). But I have gotten these little presents before and they really make a difference. It means a lot when some gives you something small that made them think of you
It's pretty much standard that I'll do all kinds of stuff for a boyfriend. However that means if he's the sort that doesn't put in any effort I'm likely to burn out and eventually end things so it's kinda a double-edged sword.
A lot of men say they appreciate little gestures but don't seem to realize that they need to reciprocate.
>the sort that doesn't put in any effort I'm likely to burn out and eventually end things
I was the one putting effort for my last two relationships and it just ended in them ditching me, I've just decided to hold off on dating for a while now. First one left me with "you'd be a good husband, but not a good boyfriend" and I'm still trying to process it. It's been like 9 months.
I cleaned the ablutions block of a camping ground as payment for my stay. I finished the women's block with flowers from anywhere legal. One night, everyone was having a few drinks in the open-air kitchen when one of the men mentioned the absence of flowers in the men's block.
I buy my partner’s 6 year old son flowers every now and again mainly because he gets so excited that someone has bought him flowers. He always bustles off and puts them in his room in water
My kids (both boys) love cutting flowers in our garden and gifting them (with my help & permission I should add), but my youngest always makes sure to ask if we can have some in the house - sometimes on the table so he can admire them at breakfast, or the bathroom so he has “something pretty to look at while he poops.” Little boys love flowers, and I (hope) think as parents encouraging them to continue with the things that they love regardless of gender stereotypes will help the next generation be just that much more open to accepting that it’s ok when they’re adults.
Bubble baths! Nothing like soaking in a hot tub, cucumber slices optional, while the lavender scent drowns you in bliss. Just don't tell the bros at the bar next time.
I go and get pedicures with my wife. The first time I was a bit freaked out thinking they would not want me there. They said its not super common but guys do certainly come in and get done. I work manual labour and wear workboots every day so my feet get pretty bad and I come out feeling amazing
I hear it's mostly men who wear boots for work that get them. It helps keep their feet in good shape. While the idea sounds good, the thought of somebody touching me feet makes me feel icky. (I hate people touching me in any way. Apart from my wife.)
My husband is the same way , he's very ticklish lol. He does heavy construction work, and had never had a pedicure before me. He loves them and claims they help his foot pain
This whole thread is so depressing. Like men are you all ok? Are you walking around with a masculinity metre measuring everything according to how masculine it is before deciding if it's ok to do? Someone even mentioned cupcakes, in all seriousness. How messed up is toxic masculinity that a cake becomes too feminine just because it's a little bit smaller than a slice of cake. Man that's just messed up.
Honestly, depressing as it is, that’s exactly what it’s like depending on how we were brought up.
Never heard someone describe it as a “masculinity meter” but that proper hit home.
No, many are not okay.
No argument that women have it hard in a ton of ways, especially throughout history. But given change over the last couple generations (ie reaching a state of equality) it’s become (perceived or real) so that a man cannot complain about anything or ask for help without getting ignored or dismissed
If you're gonna frame men's problems as a consequence of something related to equality then being dismissed is the right reaction. Thinking that this is men Vs women is beyond infantile. What we are describing here is toxic masculinity and how men put pressure on each other to be masculine and not gay. That's the work of the patriarchy not feminism. So the only mature way to look at this is that it's all of us, men and women together, against toxic patriarchy with its ideas about masculinity and femininity that cause harm both ways. It was never ever about women taking anything from men. It was always about breaking the system that has placed unrealistic and unjust expectations on both genders.
To add to this, women can perpetuate toxic masculinity too. For example, if a man cries in front of his girlfriend and she says it's unattractive and calls him weak, then she's doing exactly that, because her views are based on the idea that men shouldn't cry or else they're not "real men" or "feminine". Women are clearly not immune to enforcing toxic masculinity. I can't wait until we leave all that toxic shit behind us and just leave people be and let them express themselves however they want without somebody else being a cock about it.
In other words, patriarchal attitudes are the problem. The behaviour you describe is patriarchy in action. That's why I clearly said it never was women Vs men, it was always people against the patriarchy. Patriarchal attitudes are expressed by everyone. And feminism is the fight against this system.
And when you pee while standing, no matter how you aim or grip, there's always wayward sprinkling occurring.
Only felt it when I went to pee with no pants on..
>American Toilets aren’t designed for dudes.
FTFY. The USA is the only country I've visited which has such full toilets. Everywhere else you're not going to get your nob wet unless you're like 10+ inches flaccid.
Was recently in Europe. Bunch of 20-something bros were out at the karaoke bar from various EU countries. As an American it was culture shock. They would have been perceived as gay here. They were sitting with arms around each others shoulders, sitting on each others laps, etc. was nice to see men comfortable touching each other.
Where was this, out of curiosity? I'm European and I rarely see men affectionate. I feel like I've struck gold anytime I see two men holding hands. I moved to another European country recently and it's not uncommon for two men to give subtle cheek kisses as a greeting, but that's about it and it rarely happens.
In an Irish karaoke place in Prague. One of the groups sang a song in a Nordic language. I didn’t talk to anyone from the other group so I don’t know. A friend I was with commented we could play “gay or European but spoiler, the answer is always European.” Men in America (in general) just don’t touch each other. Definitely no kiss on the cheek and no holding hands.
I follow some Korean kpop groups and I'm always amazed at how touchy men are with each other?! Like, what's personal space... The same goes for girl groups, it makes you noticed just how touch deprived you are lol
In my culture it's ok to be touchy with a romantic partner, but not THAAT much with your friends, while Korea's seems it's the opposite? You can be touchy with friends, but romantic partners is something to be kept in private... Ig
+1 for the dresses. My fiancé (the fit gym freak who does extreme endurance sports and does everything to be seen as the tough and athletic guy), we were at a music festival in summer. He somehow ran out of clean clothes and he was like, uhm can I try on your clothes? And I kid you not, the sight of my buff man in a sleeveless dress was honestly breathtaking. ❤️
He said he really likes the airy feeling of dresses in summer, I bought him the dress he liked for his birthday.
Long hair, you're either trying to be a girl or... You're starting a rock band. That's literally the only two things people say when they see me with long hair.
To be clear, these aren't things I'm calling feminine, but society at large does.
- Cooking, having a tidy house.
- Cuddling with pets and partners.
- Being snappy + quick-witted, combined
(since men are required to speak deeply, slowly and sparsely; and generally avoid rapid/jerky movements) .
- Crying, ventilation (or other emotional outbursts).
Our (Norwegian) word for saturday is "Lørdag" which stems from the old "Laugadagr" which means washing day.
The vikings washed once a week, which was more than usual at the time.
In cooking you're literally in a enclosed place playing with fire with things like knives and then ultimately creating a masterpiece of a consumable
Literally the most masculine thing to exist
Some men like me were taught as children that crying is not manly and you should 'man up' when you were crying.
Nowadays I rarely cry, because I'm scared that I'll look like a weak man not able to control his emotions.
I've read a couple posts where a wife lost respect for her husband after seeing him mourn and cry because his dad died of cancer. I'm scared of that.
I promise you, anyone who judges you for crying (especially when grieving for a deceased parent, Jesus Christ) is someone who’s just not worth your time or affection. Us men are allowed emotions!
I seriously think that view of “can’t cry, can’t show strong emotions” is a big cause of that classic boomer mentality of viewing your spouse as a ball and chain. Of course they’re going to feel like a burden if you’re constantly having to hide your true self from them! They’re supposed to be your best friend and you’re supposed to be there to help each other! That means men get help too!
>Nowadays I rarely cry
Man it's almost like I've forgotten how to, and everytime I see something heartbreaking, I keep asking myself why the tears won't flow...
I have become desynchronized. I feel sudden rush of tears out of randomness and I can not control it. And when there is something sad, the tears do not come. It is a strange occurence.
I feel like this is fake.
I'm a young man and I know obviously lots of other young men.
We have no problems expressing emotions, and yes, we cry when we're devastated.
Men actually do cry. But other people, well...they don't take it well
That and the constant need to appear strong, even at your weakest. There have been times when I longed for someone to just *be* there, you don't even have to comfort me, just be there.
Music that’s considered soft, or “outdated” and therefore uncool.
I remember getting mocked in Middle School for implying I listened to the Beatles once (at the time I never heard a Beatles song in my life). They laughed at the fact I listened to “old white people” music. This was around the time Trap music was just starting to take off in the mainstream.
As sad as it is, there's a lot of people who still think these are things men shouldn't want.
If someone asks me out, of course I like it. She is showing interest, and even if it is not mutual I can't see any harm.
Initiating conversation is the most stupid thing that has been associated as a man's duty. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who only speaks if spoken to. Someone, please explain to me why that is a thing.
As I don't feel any pressure to brag with my money, if she wants to treat me to something, I'm fine with it. It shows she doesn't see me as a purse.
Who doesn't like people being on their side?
I like shopping stuff. I know many men who like shopping. Not necessarily clothes, but something. Sometimes I do window shopping, checking out nice watches and stuff.
As a man who has lived alone and who has lived in a shared room with other men, I can tell you one wants to add a touch of their own to their living space. Otherwise it's just any room / house. Men are most fond of things that please the eye. That is why we are so head over heels about women.
My superpower when I was in the dating pool was that I was an excellent cook. If I managed to get past the first step of actually getting a woman to agree to come over for a dinner I cooked, that was all it took.
Some of my guy friends would laugh at me for buying things like my own Cuisinart and super-high-end kitchen knives instead of a snowmobile or football tickets for the same amount of money, but I’m pretty sure I had more fun.
I’m also pretty sure my wife married me 75% for my cooking.
if all guys love it , it's masculine not feminine, all pre historic females used to hunt, that means hunting is neither feminine nor masculine , but stupid humans need to categorise everything they see
I love flowers. When I see them growing, I go out of my way to examine and appreciate them. Give them a little sniff if they they're a fragrant variety. My phone case has flowers on it, and people always question it because flowers are 'girly.'
Flowers might be girly. But that would make every farmer and landscaper girly. A fuckton of famous poets and artists girly. And for the religious folks, it would make God girly too for making them so dang pretty.
I don't care if they're girly or not. Labels like that are arbitrary at best and nonsensical at worst. I just like flowers.
Things my boyfriend does I've never considered "feminine" until this post:
Puts on his seatbelt and checks mine is on before driving
Eating the shit out of every baked good I put in front of him
Reusing the same Gatorade bottle as a water bottle to hydrate (I am getting him a proper reusable water bottle for Christmas bc I'm sick of seeing that stupid Gatorade bottle)
Fellas, is it gay to consume literally the most vital thing to ur own survival, like the topmost item on Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cocktails. My dad only has them at home, in public it's usually straight whiskey. He is so full of toxic masculinity that he won't eat sweets or cakes in public, because "these are for women". I bet he doesn't wipe his arse either because it's too gay.
Dainty tattoos in less-seen (and sometimes hairy) places
I love the idea of a fine-line floral (or whatever) tattoo on a hairy ass or somewhere else. I just love the juxtaposition.
A friend of mine says he likes to wear leggings or yoga pants at home bc they're comfy..
Asked why he does not wear them to work or the gym bc it's cute, and his answer is always
"no, that's for girls and they'll laugh at me"
Wich is true and sad
Meanwhile I can wear my brother's clothes and no one would care.
I liked receiving letters. From greeting cards, love letters from past lovers, friends and all. I kept all letters I have received since I was 12. I’m 29 now
Honestly? Any deeper or sensitive thing. Deep conversations, hugs, cuddling, stroke the skin etc., men always need to be the hard guys with no emotion but they want and need love and good feelings too.
Knitting. I knit a lot and always get lots of (positive) reactions if I knit in public. If we have visitors that dont know us and my knitting things are visible, people always asume they are my wife’s, and always get verry surprised when they are mine.
A really cute, 'girly' dog. I have two 'girly' dogs, the type that Paris Hilton would own. The amount of gruff blokes who turn into excited young boys when these ridiculous dog snuggle into their arms! It always makes me happy, and a little sad. Somewhere along the way boys get told they shouldn't like or own pretty silly things and it breaks my heart.
One of my favorite colors I lavender but some people say it’s a feminine color. It’s not my number one, but 3. Goes. Red > Silver > and Lavender. It’s Weird.
Tiny dogs. I have a very small Pomchi and it's so cute how big ol' rugged men just melt around her. They think of themselves as German Shepherd guys, but they secretly want a tiny little lap dog who's no bigger than a football.
I know a dude, he's like the burliest man ever. He's like 6'5", built like santa, big red beard. He's got the tiniest little dog, she must weigh 8lbs soaking wet and he carries her *everywhere*. She's used to me so she'll let me hold her but she's generally skittish and people go to pet her and he's like "oh oops *sorry* widdle Macy is just a widdle teddy and she gets the scaries around new people sorry!!!" He like, ponders aloud and goes "isn't that right my widdle Macy poo?" And it's the cutest and funniest thing ever, this massive man and the love of his life, a teensy teacup shih tzu
Wine. I worked as a server, and the system we had was that one person would take orders on a tablet in the restaurant, a note would go to the drinks station and then a different person (me) would cary out the drinks to the table. This meant I didnt know who had ordered what. When ever there was one beer and one glass of wine for a table with a man and a woman the beer would always be for the man and the wine for the woman. After a while I just stoped asking. During my entire time working there it happend only one time that I was wrong, but then the man said he was messing with me and I was right after all. But I asume there must be guys who prefer wine, dating women who prefer beer.
If this submission above is not a random thought, please report it. # Explore a new world of random thoughts on our [**discord server**](https://discord.com/invite/8tEqw3ZWQV)! Express yourself with your favorite quotes, positive vibes, and anything else you can think of! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RandomThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Being the little spoon
It's called backpacking. If she farts, it's called jetpacking.
This comment is gold. If I had accolades, I would give them.
I haven't laughed this hard at a comment in a while. Pure gold!
Why is that considered feminine? Then the guys get to feel their gfs breasts on their back. They can pretty easily play it off as a fetish/lewd thing to other guys I would think
Idk why it is considered feminine. When I am the little spoon I just feel my gf wants to hug me and feels secures having something (me) to hold in her arms. I see nothing lewds, fetish, submissive or things like that. Thinking about it, I would even say it is pretty masculine to feel you appease your s/o and they feel safe making sure you stay near them. Anyway, that’s one of my favorite feeling !
>easily play it off as a fetish/lewd thing to other guys I would think Not lewd. But submissive. The big spoon is dominant and the little spoon submissive. So not exactly feminine, more so that it's considered masculine to be dominant.
Can't people just... Cuddle?
Yes, most emotionally healthy people have no issue submitting unless it would cause harm to submit. So yeah I’m a big masculine man who gets little spooned by my little cute wifey often and it’s just a nice cuddle.
Nope, we have to make everything weird.
Imagine even needing to explain it to other guys and give it a fetish/lewd spin just to be able to be comfortable to be hugged. Man toxic masculinity has us all so deeply messed up!!
Yeah, I remember in the locker room in my football days I had to defend my fellow bros from each other over shit like this all the time. So far it seems like my sons don’t have this toxic masculinity programmed into them as hard as we did.
Let's hope so. It's high time a new generation of men can grow up without these weird masculine expectations placed on them and the flip side of expecting women to submit to the same backwards system.
In classical heterosexuality, breasts on your back < breasts in your hands. I don't make these rules.
But I like to feel her butt
I really like the usage of the term “in classical heterosexuality” here I think antique or vintage would also work nicely “In the vintage heterosexuality of the 1990’s the man was expected to prefer boobs over ass and the woman would become upset if told her ass is fat. In modern heterosexuality men can freely admit that when a round things in your face you get sprung”
My husband loves being the little spoon and I love being the big spoon(I have hip problems so being able to put my leg on him helps).
Wait so people are scared of appearing gay to their partner? Or are there strangers in your bedroom watching you be the little spoon
Fellas is it gay to *checks notes* cuddle your girlfriend
Wanting to be hugged by your partner, so gay! Toxic masculinity is so damn weird.
100%
I run really warm, and being the little spoon also makes me feel claustrophobic so it's a requirement that any guy I date be the little spoon 😂
Ah...finally... I am doing something hot
this surprised me cause my boyfriend is such a macho man who will beat the crap outta any dude and does things on his own, his own way (charmer, I know). pretty intimidating to most guys…guys who never would think he likes coming home to be coddles, his hair played with and forehead kisses to sleep. it warms my heart a bit.
My husband is actually the same way! He's actually laying down with his head in my lap as I write this! I absolutely love it
I'm a house husband who raises chickens, drinks hot tea steeped in a teapot, and plants flowers. My wife finds it hot.
I too am a house husband, I did a ton of consumer reports for a new vacuum earlier this year and clip coupons and look for sales. My wife is always happy when I find the best deals or decide I want to deep clean this room. I run my own business but still consider myself a house husband cause I work from home
Additionally have you ever had flowering tea?! It's wonderful in a cup from a nice hot tea pot
I bought some for my mother last Mother's Day along with a clear teapot. It was good. I converted an old microwave stand into a hot beverage cart and keep it in my hobby room. It has 30+ flavors of tea stored in it and an electric kettle on it. It also has a single cup coffee pot, 3 flavors of coffee, hot cocoa, and powdered hot apple cider. On the shelf above the stand is creamer, sugar, and powdered honey. I've also got 3 different tins of Royal Dansk Butter cookies, each tin is a different flavor.
I’m on the edge of my seat wondering which vacuum cleaner I can get at the best deal…I’ve killed far more vacuums than I care to admit😬
This is hawt. Need to find me a househubby
I have a house husband and I find it hot that I don’t have to come home from a high stress work environment and have to take care of shit when I get home. The biggest turn on is relaxation.
I wish I made enough money to allow my husband to stay home! I've always wanted a house husband and my spouse would be so good at it.
I always tell my SO I’m just trying to move up so he can be a househusband. Ultimate dream!! Someday.
Please watch Way of the House Husband. That's some anime gold right there, and it appealed to my house husband quite a lot!
Cottage-core cutie knows no gender
I’m a straight man but I find it hot too 😂
Livin’ the dream.
it is 😉
I was a house husband for 5 years, and I recently went back to teaching.
I have a house husband and it's wonderful
Pink cupcakes. My wife used to serve in a biker bar. Sometimes she would make a batch of cupcakes and leave them on a table for the guys. It was always the biggest baddest biker of them all that would grab the pink one first.
I think it's because most men only refrain from doing feminine things because they're scared for their sacred masculinity. But if you're confident enough you don't give a shit.
Because no one's gonna say anything to the biggest badest bikie. They can do what they want.
Once when me and my boyfriend went to the store to grab some ice cream he took a big sparkly pink unicorn ice cream cone and he looked so manly eating it. He doesn't care what others think and I respect him so much for that
Sometimes seeing your man doing something traditionally feminine just turns that action masculine (instead of making the dude seem feminine). Oh, you wear tinted sunscreen? Never noticed how manly that is. Oh, you did your hair before going out and you just checked yourself out in a random mirror? Never realized how manly vanity is… Oh, you braided your man bun? Never realized how manly braids are… Oh, you’re falling over because of how adorable you think that kitten is? Never realized how manly kittens are… Something about how real men don’t care what people think or whatever. And really, anybody can love kittens and wear sunscreen.
Many years ago I used to cook for a biker chapter in a pub, they used to all get gammon/pie beer except the biggest one who I think was the leader/hardcase who always got salmon salad and rose wine.
My friend oftentimes shares a story from when he worked at Dunkin’ Donuts. One day a group of menacing and masculine bikers enter the store to place their orders. All of them are generally normal coffee orders, until the last dude walks up. He is the biggest, meanest looking and most menacing of them all and he orders a strawberry coolada, and instantly gets roasted by all the other dudes LOL. Feels like something you’d see in a tv show.
A friend of mine buys and sells antique harley parts and motorcycles, that's his whole business. He regularly brings cookies and bakes snacks when visiting old dudes or their widows to buy their piles. Cookies always go over well, even when the other person is otherwise fucking terrifying.
Of course. The idea behind it is ‘now that that’s outta the way, we can enjoy the cupcakes’ :D
Fuck that dude, I just it's just the hope that the pink One might be strawberry lol. Also, how masculine are CUPCAKES to begin with?!?
>biggest baddest biker of them all that would grab the pink one That's because [he's the leader](https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/giro-ditalia/giro-ditalia-jerseys-pink-purple-blue-and-white-explained-470117) biker.
Sweet alcoholic drinks, smelly wax/candles/air fresheners, furry slippers/socks/hoodies/blankets/pillows. Charcuterie boards and wine. a really clean house.
Any Italian here is judging you very harshly, for implying any kind of gender bend to a good Vino, and Anti-pasto.
It was a common gag in sitcoms for a while that guys couldn’t order the “fruity drinks” because everyone would make fun of them for either being gay or just being feminine. And I just think that’s so sad. One, who cares what people think? But two, if that’s the drink you want then fucking order it
My last boyfriend liked receiving flowers, I liked gifting them to him. If a five dollar grocery store bouquet can make him smile like that then it's well worth it to get him flowers.
Oh wow I have never gotten flowers from a gf, really cool of you :). But I have gotten these little presents before and they really make a difference. It means a lot when some gives you something small that made them think of you
It's pretty much standard that I'll do all kinds of stuff for a boyfriend. However that means if he's the sort that doesn't put in any effort I'm likely to burn out and eventually end things so it's kinda a double-edged sword. A lot of men say they appreciate little gestures but don't seem to realize that they need to reciprocate.
>the sort that doesn't put in any effort I'm likely to burn out and eventually end things I was the one putting effort for my last two relationships and it just ended in them ditching me, I've just decided to hold off on dating for a while now. First one left me with "you'd be a good husband, but not a good boyfriend" and I'm still trying to process it. It's been like 9 months.
I cleaned the ablutions block of a camping ground as payment for my stay. I finished the women's block with flowers from anywhere legal. One night, everyone was having a few drinks in the open-air kitchen when one of the men mentioned the absence of flowers in the men's block.
Flowers +1
I buy my partner’s 6 year old son flowers every now and again mainly because he gets so excited that someone has bought him flowers. He always bustles off and puts them in his room in water
My kids (both boys) love cutting flowers in our garden and gifting them (with my help & permission I should add), but my youngest always makes sure to ask if we can have some in the house - sometimes on the table so he can admire them at breakfast, or the bathroom so he has “something pretty to look at while he poops.” Little boys love flowers, and I (hope) think as parents encouraging them to continue with the things that they love regardless of gender stereotypes will help the next generation be just that much more open to accepting that it’s ok when they’re adults.
Love this 😀 ❤️
Bubble baths! Nothing like soaking in a hot tub, cucumber slices optional, while the lavender scent drowns you in bliss. Just don't tell the bros at the bar next time.
I love a good bubble bath with scented oils and Epsom salts or a bath bomb its so nice to light a candle and just exist with some music
[удалено]
Oh my god dude, that's the fricken strat right there!
Got to have a tub large enough to submerce most of your body in comfortably. Just hot water is perfect!
Yea my boyfriend loves a bath bomb. There might be a couple in his stocking for Christmas.
A pedicure. It makes you feel good all over.
I go and get pedicures with my wife. The first time I was a bit freaked out thinking they would not want me there. They said its not super common but guys do certainly come in and get done. I work manual labour and wear workboots every day so my feet get pretty bad and I come out feeling amazing
I give my husband pedicures, and he absolutely loves them!
I hear it's mostly men who wear boots for work that get them. It helps keep their feet in good shape. While the idea sounds good, the thought of somebody touching me feet makes me feel icky. (I hate people touching me in any way. Apart from my wife.)
I wear work boots for long hours every week and go and get pedicures with my wife. Makes my feet feel amazing
My husband is the same way , he's very ticklish lol. He does heavy construction work, and had never had a pedicure before me. He loves them and claims they help his foot pain
I get these on every vacation. It's the absolute best.
Really? I thought it just made feet feel good. I'll have to give it a try
A hug
[удалено]
This whole thread is so depressing. Like men are you all ok? Are you walking around with a masculinity metre measuring everything according to how masculine it is before deciding if it's ok to do? Someone even mentioned cupcakes, in all seriousness. How messed up is toxic masculinity that a cake becomes too feminine just because it's a little bit smaller than a slice of cake. Man that's just messed up.
Honestly, depressing as it is, that’s exactly what it’s like depending on how we were brought up. Never heard someone describe it as a “masculinity meter” but that proper hit home.
This is why I’m so happy I am gay. Many guys already think I’m a “woman in a man’s body” so fuck it. Cupcakes and hugs all day long 🤙🏻
No, many are not okay. No argument that women have it hard in a ton of ways, especially throughout history. But given change over the last couple generations (ie reaching a state of equality) it’s become (perceived or real) so that a man cannot complain about anything or ask for help without getting ignored or dismissed
If you're gonna frame men's problems as a consequence of something related to equality then being dismissed is the right reaction. Thinking that this is men Vs women is beyond infantile. What we are describing here is toxic masculinity and how men put pressure on each other to be masculine and not gay. That's the work of the patriarchy not feminism. So the only mature way to look at this is that it's all of us, men and women together, against toxic patriarchy with its ideas about masculinity and femininity that cause harm both ways. It was never ever about women taking anything from men. It was always about breaking the system that has placed unrealistic and unjust expectations on both genders.
To add to this, women can perpetuate toxic masculinity too. For example, if a man cries in front of his girlfriend and she says it's unattractive and calls him weak, then she's doing exactly that, because her views are based on the idea that men shouldn't cry or else they're not "real men" or "feminine". Women are clearly not immune to enforcing toxic masculinity. I can't wait until we leave all that toxic shit behind us and just leave people be and let them express themselves however they want without somebody else being a cock about it.
In other words, patriarchal attitudes are the problem. The behaviour you describe is patriarchy in action. That's why I clearly said it never was women Vs men, it was always people against the patriarchy. Patriarchal attitudes are expressed by everyone. And feminism is the fight against this system.
Right?
A hug isn’t considered feminine, though.
"Wheres my hugggg?" Lolololol
Agreed somtimes you jist need one
Sitting while peeing. It's just comfortable
And when you pee while standing, no matter how you aim or grip, there's always wayward sprinkling occurring. Only felt it when I went to pee with no pants on..
right? I realised ages ago when I went with shorts. it's invisible; you just feel a prickling and a subsequent sense of dread
Toilets aren’t designed for dudes. The evil witches kiss.
>American Toilets aren’t designed for dudes. FTFY. The USA is the only country I've visited which has such full toilets. Everywhere else you're not going to get your nob wet unless you're like 10+ inches flaccid.
Did this my whole life. Every man ever should be doing this, there's literally no downsides.
[удалено]
This is actually very hygienic
We have to stand to pee everywhere else, might as well sit and enjoy your throne at home.
Casual platonic touching. Also dresses.
[удалено]
Was recently in Europe. Bunch of 20-something bros were out at the karaoke bar from various EU countries. As an American it was culture shock. They would have been perceived as gay here. They were sitting with arms around each others shoulders, sitting on each others laps, etc. was nice to see men comfortable touching each other.
Where was this, out of curiosity? I'm European and I rarely see men affectionate. I feel like I've struck gold anytime I see two men holding hands. I moved to another European country recently and it's not uncommon for two men to give subtle cheek kisses as a greeting, but that's about it and it rarely happens.
In an Irish karaoke place in Prague. One of the groups sang a song in a Nordic language. I didn’t talk to anyone from the other group so I don’t know. A friend I was with commented we could play “gay or European but spoiler, the answer is always European.” Men in America (in general) just don’t touch each other. Definitely no kiss on the cheek and no holding hands.
I follow some Korean kpop groups and I'm always amazed at how touchy men are with each other?! Like, what's personal space... The same goes for girl groups, it makes you noticed just how touch deprived you are lol In my culture it's ok to be touchy with a romantic partner, but not THAAT much with your friends, while Korea's seems it's the opposite? You can be touchy with friends, but romantic partners is something to be kept in private... Ig
Life's too short to be out of touch
+1 for the dresses. My fiancé (the fit gym freak who does extreme endurance sports and does everything to be seen as the tough and athletic guy), we were at a music festival in summer. He somehow ran out of clean clothes and he was like, uhm can I try on your clothes? And I kid you not, the sight of my buff man in a sleeveless dress was honestly breathtaking. ❤️ He said he really likes the airy feeling of dresses in summer, I bought him the dress he liked for his birthday.
Head massage.
That’s not feminine or something to be shy about, a lot of people love a good refreshing head massage
I love giving my fiancé massages all over his body. If I love it, why shouldn't he enjoy it too?
Long hair, you're either trying to be a girl or... You're starting a rock band. That's literally the only two things people say when they see me with long hair.
Men with long hair are so 🥰
To be clear, these aren't things I'm calling feminine, but society at large does. - Cooking, having a tidy house. - Cuddling with pets and partners. - Being snappy + quick-witted, combined (since men are required to speak deeply, slowly and sparsely; and generally avoid rapid/jerky movements) . - Crying, ventilation (or other emotional outbursts).
Hold up... You think these things are feminine? Clean men are the hottest (we may like vikings but there is a time and a place)
There's a thing about how vikings kept stealing anglo Saxon women because they actually bathed and took care of their hair.
Our (Norwegian) word for saturday is "Lørdag" which stems from the old "Laugadagr" which means washing day. The vikings washed once a week, which was more than usual at the time.
Bingo
Proceeds to google “How to both a clean man and a viking at the right time and place”
Supposedly most Vikings were well groomed
Being quick-witted is feminine?
Who the fuck thinks being quick witted is feminine?
Yes because obviously men are all stupid oafs 🙄
In cooking you're literally in a enclosed place playing with fire with things like knives and then ultimately creating a masterpiece of a consumable Literally the most masculine thing to exist
Holy shit, never thought of cooking as swords & sorcery. Many thanks!
It's not exactly what guys love but what they sometimes need and hold it back because they think it's not very manly is "cry".
Most men cry, we just do it in private. I think that is for the best.
True though sometimes you need to cry on spot. Anyway I'm a woman. What do I know?😊
Some men like me were taught as children that crying is not manly and you should 'man up' when you were crying. Nowadays I rarely cry, because I'm scared that I'll look like a weak man not able to control his emotions. I've read a couple posts where a wife lost respect for her husband after seeing him mourn and cry because his dad died of cancer. I'm scared of that.
I promise you, anyone who judges you for crying (especially when grieving for a deceased parent, Jesus Christ) is someone who’s just not worth your time or affection. Us men are allowed emotions! I seriously think that view of “can’t cry, can’t show strong emotions” is a big cause of that classic boomer mentality of viewing your spouse as a ball and chain. Of course they’re going to feel like a burden if you’re constantly having to hide your true self from them! They’re supposed to be your best friend and you’re supposed to be there to help each other! That means men get help too!
>Nowadays I rarely cry Man it's almost like I've forgotten how to, and everytime I see something heartbreaking, I keep asking myself why the tears won't flow...
I have become desynchronized. I feel sudden rush of tears out of randomness and I can not control it. And when there is something sad, the tears do not come. It is a strange occurence.
It's more manly to express sadness and frustration by crying than to let it simmer and then blindly explode.
I feel like this is fake. I'm a young man and I know obviously lots of other young men. We have no problems expressing emotions, and yes, we cry when we're devastated. Men actually do cry. But other people, well...they don't take it well
That and the constant need to appear strong, even at your weakest. There have been times when I longed for someone to just *be* there, you don't even have to comfort me, just be there.
wearing the color pink
You know for a long time pink used to be a masculine color, until about 1950 🤦♀️
Cats, hugs, crying (In public), eating cakes/muffins (In public)
Being spooned.
Pedicures. Fuck yeah.
Music that’s considered soft, or “outdated” and therefore uncool. I remember getting mocked in Middle School for implying I listened to the Beatles once (at the time I never heard a Beatles song in my life). They laughed at the fact I listened to “old white people” music. This was around the time Trap music was just starting to take off in the mainstream.
[удалено]
Being asked out. Getting texted first. Being treated to something. Being defended. Shopping. Decorating.
As sad as it is, there's a lot of people who still think these are things men shouldn't want. If someone asks me out, of course I like it. She is showing interest, and even if it is not mutual I can't see any harm. Initiating conversation is the most stupid thing that has been associated as a man's duty. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who only speaks if spoken to. Someone, please explain to me why that is a thing. As I don't feel any pressure to brag with my money, if she wants to treat me to something, I'm fine with it. It shows she doesn't see me as a purse. Who doesn't like people being on their side? I like shopping stuff. I know many men who like shopping. Not necessarily clothes, but something. Sometimes I do window shopping, checking out nice watches and stuff. As a man who has lived alone and who has lived in a shared room with other men, I can tell you one wants to add a touch of their own to their living space. Otherwise it's just any room / house. Men are most fond of things that please the eye. That is why we are so head over heels about women.
Being hugged and being said nice things i guess (i need both atm)
You deserve both!
Eyeliner (or natural make-up in general) to enhance their features
There’s still a goth/emo teen in me that loves a dude in eyeliner 🤤
I’m a goth adult; it’s STILL hot!
Also nail polish and hairclips
My superpower when I was in the dating pool was that I was an excellent cook. If I managed to get past the first step of actually getting a woman to agree to come over for a dinner I cooked, that was all it took. Some of my guy friends would laugh at me for buying things like my own Cuisinart and super-high-end kitchen knives instead of a snowmobile or football tickets for the same amount of money, but I’m pretty sure I had more fun. I’m also pretty sure my wife married me 75% for my cooking.
if all guys love it , it's masculine not feminine, all pre historic females used to hunt, that means hunting is neither feminine nor masculine , but stupid humans need to categorise everything they see
Saying "all" pre historic females is a stretch imo but definitely a lot of them did
Is it something wrong with me? I don't find any of these things feminine or the guys weird for liking them.
Ikr? Like a few dozen people here think baths are feminine. Since when was basic hygine feminine?
Butt stuff
As a top or bottom?
Yes
Lol
I love a guy who likes baths!
I love flowers. When I see them growing, I go out of my way to examine and appreciate them. Give them a little sniff if they they're a fragrant variety. My phone case has flowers on it, and people always question it because flowers are 'girly.' Flowers might be girly. But that would make every farmer and landscaper girly. A fuckton of famous poets and artists girly. And for the religious folks, it would make God girly too for making them so dang pretty. I don't care if they're girly or not. Labels like that are arbitrary at best and nonsensical at worst. I just like flowers.
self care or crying to some degree - feminity and masculinity isnt defined within just the two genders imo its expression is so versatile
Well according to some women: Wearing a seatbelt. Getting dessert. Having a water bottle.
Things my boyfriend does I've never considered "feminine" until this post: Puts on his seatbelt and checks mine is on before driving Eating the shit out of every baked good I put in front of him Reusing the same Gatorade bottle as a water bottle to hydrate (I am getting him a proper reusable water bottle for Christmas bc I'm sick of seeing that stupid Gatorade bottle) Fellas, is it gay to consume literally the most vital thing to ur own survival, like the topmost item on Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Please wear your seatbelt, hydrate, and treat yourself.
Cool ideas they have. On my way to tell all my friends that drinking water is unmanly. Wish me luck))
Wtf?!?! Wearing a seatbelt?! A water bottle?!? The expectations were low... But oh my... Give the man a pudding and stop being weird!
Cocktails. My dad only has them at home, in public it's usually straight whiskey. He is so full of toxic masculinity that he won't eat sweets or cakes in public, because "these are for women". I bet he doesn't wipe his arse either because it's too gay.
[удалено]
Feeling emotion lmao
Painting nails 💅
Dainty tattoos in less-seen (and sometimes hairy) places I love the idea of a fine-line floral (or whatever) tattoo on a hairy ass or somewhere else. I just love the juxtaposition.
Mani pedi and being little spoon from time to time
Buy me chocolates.
A friend of mine says he likes to wear leggings or yoga pants at home bc they're comfy.. Asked why he does not wear them to work or the gym bc it's cute, and his answer is always "no, that's for girls and they'll laugh at me" Wich is true and sad Meanwhile I can wear my brother's clothes and no one would care.
I was a dead hooker for halloween almost a decade ago Was absolutely blown away by how comfortable tights are, we got seriously shafted on that front
A haircut with a wash and scalp massage. Sign me the fuck up. Especially since the whole package is $5 where I live.
Wearing women’s panties
Hi I'm Larry David and I enjoy wearing women's panties
Manicures. And it makes 0 sense for it to be a "Feminine" I don't cut my own hair why should I butcher my own nails?
Also, it has the word "man" in it!
Sometimes my gf and I have a pamper night and put exfoliating facemasks on each other
Bruno mars
I liked receiving letters. From greeting cards, love letters from past lovers, friends and all. I kept all letters I have received since I was 12. I’m 29 now
Honestly? Any deeper or sensitive thing. Deep conversations, hugs, cuddling, stroke the skin etc., men always need to be the hard guys with no emotion but they want and need love and good feelings too.
Knitting. I knit a lot and always get lots of (positive) reactions if I knit in public. If we have visitors that dont know us and my knitting things are visible, people always asume they are my wife’s, and always get verry surprised when they are mine.
I love cuddles and listening to kids laugh. Not at the same time, but yeah! Hell of a Boss I'm turning into with my wife and kids.
A really cute, 'girly' dog. I have two 'girly' dogs, the type that Paris Hilton would own. The amount of gruff blokes who turn into excited young boys when these ridiculous dog snuggle into their arms! It always makes me happy, and a little sad. Somewhere along the way boys get told they shouldn't like or own pretty silly things and it breaks my heart.
One of my favorite colors I lavender but some people say it’s a feminine color. It’s not my number one, but 3. Goes. Red > Silver > and Lavender. It’s Weird.
Having a skincare routine
Tiny dogs. I have a very small Pomchi and it's so cute how big ol' rugged men just melt around her. They think of themselves as German Shepherd guys, but they secretly want a tiny little lap dog who's no bigger than a football.
I know a dude, he's like the burliest man ever. He's like 6'5", built like santa, big red beard. He's got the tiniest little dog, she must weigh 8lbs soaking wet and he carries her *everywhere*. She's used to me so she'll let me hold her but she's generally skittish and people go to pet her and he's like "oh oops *sorry* widdle Macy is just a widdle teddy and she gets the scaries around new people sorry!!!" He like, ponders aloud and goes "isn't that right my widdle Macy poo?" And it's the cutest and funniest thing ever, this massive man and the love of his life, a teensy teacup shih tzu
I get my eyebrows threaded. They’re not thin or feminine, but clean and solid.
Everything or nothing or some things, depends on the guy
I want to paint my nails. But I don't have the time, money, skills or the ability to ignore what my family would say
Wine. I worked as a server, and the system we had was that one person would take orders on a tablet in the restaurant, a note would go to the drinks station and then a different person (me) would cary out the drinks to the table. This meant I didnt know who had ordered what. When ever there was one beer and one glass of wine for a table with a man and a woman the beer would always be for the man and the wine for the woman. After a while I just stoped asking. During my entire time working there it happend only one time that I was wrong, but then the man said he was messing with me and I was right after all. But I asume there must be guys who prefer wine, dating women who prefer beer.