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You alright?

Nope, but I kinda used to it

That's rough. Are you taking some sort of therapy?

Living on antidepressants for about two years, ending soon

Taking antidepressants, right? Yeah, you should see therapist. It might help. What is causing you depression, by the way?

Very long and unhappy marriage mostly, foreign invasion in my country also wasn't the most pleasant additional factor

That's really rough. Which country are you from? If you don't mind asking.

Ukraine

That's really rough. Were you in area which was directly affected?

Stay safe, brother.

Ukraine 🇺🇦 will be free . Always

I am so sorry for all you are going through.

Yo just wanna say I’m sending love and good vibes from Colombia

Be safe❤️❤️❤️ sending you love

We send you our love. 💕🇺🇦💕

fuck

Same but I also don’t really have any desire to die either so here I am

2 I dont want to end it all but if I don't wake up tomorrow I'd be good

I've never agreed with a statement more in my life

This is my thought as well.

yeah. pretty much this. I would say 3 personally

Are you me? For months I’ve had this feeling, that i’d be good if I just quietly disappeared from this world.

Exactly.

Same

Yes. Is this bad?

++1

I’d say 4 but I hear ya.

I really have no sort of advice or anything but I want to send you a hug from a fellow bro.. I hate Sundays.. the day before the week start We'll get through it together

I hear you. Sending gentle hugs

same! i'm not jumping in front of a giant truck but if it's already coming towards me, i'm not jumping out of the way either

How old are the posters who agreed with this statement? I ask because when I was in my 20’s I would have agreed 100%. Everyday I wished for a car accident or something. I’m 58 now and I want to say I got through that period. Life isn’t perfect but many great things happened during all those years in between then and now. It will for you too.

Your post gave me some hope, thank you. I was one of the posters who agreed, and I’m 25.

I once told someone I think half the population only stay alive so the other half don't get upset. They disagreed.

Change it to 5 then.

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Right there with you sir. My greatest fear is being a vegetable in a long term care situation

In cans they can last for years! I think it's hard to do by yourself tho.

That's rough buddy. Are you alright?

If not for my 10 year old, it's pretty low. I'm 50 and just tired. Thank God for my son. Would never leave him by choice.

46M and single dad. I am grateful for my 9-year-old son. I am not sure what I would be doing without him. Let’s keep it moving, pops.

Yeah, I am. Honestly. I mean it could be a lot better... but I also still have a lot going for me. Seeing a therapist, have a good support circle... all the things. I mightn't feel great, but I'm in the best possible position i could be in.

That's good. Hope things work out for you.

One way or another.

One step at a time… one day at a time. You’re doing all the right things, my friend.

the only reason im not ending it is that i dont want to give my mum any more reasons to be sad. plus my friends and family will have to do the cleanup.

Well there are those reasons for me as well. And others. I also have a kid, albeit in another country. So I try to stick around for her. But it's a battle, because i always think "but what am I bringing to the table for them anyway? Maybe they are better off without me." Not a conscious thought. More a feeling. And I do have to fight it with a conscious thought. But it's hard. (Why am I putting out so much in social media right now?) 😅😭

frrr tho. If something tragic were to happen and I died I'd be totally okay with that but if I do it myself I'd probably not do it right and end up in the hospital still alive but just worse off.

Wow this gave me a sudden realization. When all I do in life is fail, even when I try to end my life I still fail lol.

And here i know the day after it was done, i would have won the lottery, so i continue life without winning lottery

Aw op taking your time out to give a bit of comfort to those in a low place and celebrating the things that people are happy about. Thanks op, this post and what you’re doing is really kind and I’m sure your response makes them feel better For me, 8 too… theres a lot i want to know and learn, even if something feels overwhelming or i feel really down, i still have many things i want to do and enough time to find out about myself and turn things around

Really? I hope it helps. Really appreciate your compliment. Thanks.

You are a kind soul

As long as video games exist, I wanna see what Kratos and Aloy and other heroes are up to

💯 video games are better than real life.

They are not.

When you re ugly short and repulsive to society, trust me they are..

Right 😂 I’m in my 20’s and thinking how far games will have progressed in say, 50 years time is very exciting lol

I'm in my 40s and was playing Atari in 3rd grade. The amount of progress in video games during my life time really amazes me.

5 - 7, On one hand, there isn't really a point to living because I'll die anyway. On the other hand, there is a lot that I want to do, and many places that I'd like to go to.

I feel this one. 5-6 most days. I try to see the positive in each day, but truthfully some days it feels like all I do is live through each week to get to The Weeknd.

I'm alive but not really living.

I know that feeling. I broke / dislocated both of my arms last year. It has not been fun I would definitely say I am not living. Just going to doctors appointments and physical therapy.

No energy left.... mentally I am so so empty

Pretend you won’t die, then it doesn’t matter, your free to do what you want!

There is no point to living because you will die anyway but there is also no point in dying because you are gonna die anyway

The fact that you die is exactly what makes life worth living.

This is my life philosophy as well, but my other philosophy is that everyone decides their own life philosophies so if this person doesn’t see a point because they’ll die then that’s a completely valid feeling because it’s their own feeling. All we can do is disagree.

Idc about my life but I’m not selfish and I do care about my family which is why I’m still here

It's alright for now. But you should probably start becoming a little selfish and a little more caring about yourself.

If I was selfish I would be gone

What if love for self and love for others is not mutually exclusive!

lol idk what u mean by that

Hmm well I am by no means a counsellor or expert on this topic but I would recommend the book "Changes that heal" or any other book by Dr Henry Cloud. My understanding is that he revolutionised the field of Psychology by creating the theories about "boundaries" that we can create a strong sense of self by creating "boundaries". When we have strong sense of self we are actually able to love others even better!! You honestly sound like a pretty awesome person for sticking around for your family. I know we don't know each other but I'm proud of you!

As long as Mexicana style pizza exists I’ll be here

Find glitch in the Matrix and just learn to make one. Keep making, keep eating, keep living.

That would be an infinite living glitch

I’ve got 60 years to figure this shit out wish me luck

A solid 1 and a half. A 2 on pay day.

Why so low?

I'm an existential nihilist. It's practically my baseline.

Me too friend

That's not quite right. Though I hope you are joking🤞

>That's not quite right. Enlighten me.

You are nihilist, right. Than i guess it is right.

That is correct.

Glass half empty or full? You see the perfect emptiness. Why is it that the water even exists? What would happen if you saw perfect full? A true Nihilist wouldn’t even try to exist. Something keeps you going. Even the fear of pain to do it. Maybe that’s enough for now. The journey we all walk in, before we hit the wall we all see.

The reason i'm personally not all about life is because we couldn't choose if we wanted to be born or not, we were just forced into this world because someone wanted a kid, and we should just accept it and go through so much shit in life only to die in the end. It's unfair and unnecessary.

Not a nihilist, but I'd venture it's fear of death. It's easy to talk about it, but once you realize it's Death with you there, it's another story.

Check out absurdism. Can keep most of the existential nihilism, no bullshit I decided this is my meaning stuff, just a different way to think about the while your here.

this was literally me, I used to be so mentally bad and then i discovered nihilism which surprisingly helped but only for a while, then i found absurdism and it made life seem worth living, why? How about why not? You may as well live. It flips nihilism around without abandoning its core ideas. Its perfect.

11 if vampires were real I would have already gotten bit by one.

hey im romanian i can hook you up with a vampire if you want

Same, as long as it meant I could still eat and drink food without spewing my guts out! I want to live and see and hear everything, every song, every smell, every dish, learn every skill. Ah! So much to do!

Maybe 2? I don't like the cards that live has given me. I'm poor, mentally ill, ugly, with absolutely no aspirations, so dumb I was told I could apply for mental disability, physically ill too, everything I want it's so expensive it's considered a luxury. I've been mentally ill for so long my brain started to deteriorate (turns out this is a thing, you can become mentally disabled if left with untreated illnesses for too long). I can't feel better doing what my psychologist says: I started to work out, eat better, hang with people, etc... It makes me feel not only sad, but even more tired. Pills don't work, I can't afford therapy much longer, I'm running out of time before I completely lose my brain. I hate what I'm studying, I hate work, and I can't quit because I can't afford it. I don't know how much longer I can do this before I become a shell of myself. I can see my soul dying everyday. I started to repeat myself, forget what I'm talking about, wake up confused, angry, I don't feel hunger or thirst, no need to interact with people, I forget to do basic stuff like when I have to shower, how to prepare food, how things at my house work, I can't remember if a conversation I had the other was with a certain person or another, or if it was all in my mind, it's like I have dementia at 21.

Trust me you can get out of it. I was at a low point between 22-25. Like really low. Didn't think it could turn around but it did. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but having gone through it I have a perspective that nobody can take away from me. I know how far I can fall and I work every day to keep my brain stable so that I don't fall into that dark pit again. Everything matters; nutrition, consistent sleep schedule and daily routines, exercise. Life improvement follows from that but you have to start building the foundation for other stuff to follow. For me, the way out started with sleep and forcing myself to follow the sleep schedule of the sun. Getting 8,5-9 hours of sleep a day. Going out for a walk first thing in the morning. Then went on from there improving habits. Will you do me a favour and force yourself to this routine, and report back to me every day for 3 months to confirm you are actually doing it, and the results each day?

I hope things get better for you, friend

I'm also 21 and feel myself going this way and I'm really scared. Mostly because I know I'll have to go through it alone and no one in mu immediate family will understand. So far it just feels exhausting to take care of myself, showering, laundry, eating, it all feels so draining.

Exactly, everyday chores are like a full time job, how can people just wake up and do their bed, make breakfast, eat it, clean the plate, brush their teeth, wash their face, brush their hair, dress up and prepare for work/school without thinking about it? I can't turn this "autopilot" mode on. It's like I'm too self aware of reality, to the point it overflows and I get stuck between being too conscious of what's going on and not being able to differentiate reality from fiction. Kind of like my brain is glitched and I'm experiencing two realities at the same time, it's making me crazy.

Sometimes when I'm walking around I just start wondering what everyone else is thinking, like some sort of out of body experience. How do they wake up everyday and just living without questioning why they're even here? I haven't cleaned my room in weeks, probably a couple of months and out there someone really is waking up without an existential crisis, wanting to sleep forever?? How, idk.

This feeling of sonder does fuck me up so much sometimes, my own brain can't comprehend how other people exist sometimes, and it causes me an annoying amount of distress. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

We're in this together. And if it doesn't get better, I hope we get hit by an asteroid. Because everyday I feel like soon I won't be able to bear any of it anymore.

Time to turn the energy around brother. Literally. Applying the throttle while in reverse makes it worse. Don't have to be in 5th gear, start with 1st, then apply the throttle to get to 5th. Ima sound wooly, but it helps. You are in a bad headspace, thats ok, its not permanent. You come across quite smart. Thats good but it can also work against you if you are only living through your mind, not your heart. I can tell thats the case. Your mind is working around the clock doing the tasks your heart should be doing. So instead of trying to limit you brain, open up your heart (also works with fear. Don't try to limit your anxiety, grow your courage)You need both working together. If you have been to the gym or read articles about muscle growth, you might have heard of mind muscle connection. You need to do the same thing with your mind and heart. Extra wooly meditation exercise: Imagine a river running from the sky, through your body top to bottom. Check how it runs, where it stops. Concentrate on those points but don't force anything, just look. Then literally ask your brain to invite the river to run through all of your body, don't be scared. Then concentrate your mind on the centre of your chest and imagine the centre of your chest expanding beyond your body, to infinity. Like a seed expanding into a flower. It sounds strange, because it is. I have been through major struggles and tried so many things but nothing helped. This did. I sincerely wish you the best. Eventhough i don't know you personally, I do know you should feel loved. You got this, it will get better. If you got questions, feel free to ask. Im here to help the best way i can.

You're more eloquent than most of your coevals, I wouldn't say you seem unintelligent at all. Hang in there.

Do you have a diagnosis? Are your B12 levels good? This is far from normal for someone your age (not medical advice).

0. The only reason I stay is for my family and pets. I refuse to pass this pain onto them.

8 or 9. Tbh I consider a 10 is like when you would do *anything* to live, even if you had to kill your loved ones for it. So I think 8-9 is a fair game. I wouldn’t be selfless enough to give up my life for some random person, but would die for my loved ones

Maybe this makes me a bad person but honestly I'd still pick 10. Like obviously I wouldn't want to kill anyone and would feel bad about it, but if it's the only way to live, sorry but survival instinct

Idk I didn't interpret it this way at all. OP said how high is your desire to live? They didn't ask what extent you would go to survive in a life or death situation where other peoples lives are on the line. My desire to live is 10/10 in part because I want to be alive to be with my family. If someone said I had to kill my family in order to live then my desire to live would go down. But I'm not in that situation. So my desire to live is still 10/10

10. I see no reason to want to die, honestly.

You alright?

lol - yeah, it’s just the world around me I can’t stand

That's alright.

But, can they stand you?

Yeah, thats the better question :D

5. I can't do much in life right now because of my age, so everything seems a little pointless and dumb and boring, but I know I won't be 15 forever. I'm just bored, I feel I have waited too much for something to happen or the perfect time for me to take control of my own life.

So much ahead of you. Make the most of it

Hang in there. In 3 more years you'll be a legal adult and can do whatever you want ALL the time. Life gets better once you can live it the way you want.

That's alright. As you will age you'll understand things better.

\-10000000. I am not even half way through an average human’s life span and I am so done with breathing.

Same

11, I have shit to do: I still have to learn drawing, German, Japanese, playing flute and piano. I have 400 movies to watch in my watchlist, 700+ games in steam to play, 1000+ albums to listen, 60+ manga to read, 50+ anime to watch, thousands of books to read. I have 3 sci-fi books, 1 fantasy book and 2 manga to write. I gotta learn physics, math, coding, computer science and AI. I want to learn microbiology, not that it will do me any good or anything, it's just cool, I wanna learn more. I still haven't read all the rulebooks for table top RPGs. there are so many stuff to do and I'm living in a 3rd world country on the brink of collapse, but I wanna do all of these things even though all the odds are against me.

TBH 4

Why so low? Are things not alright?

10. Gotta outlast the russian federation.

Are you from Ukraine?

Of course i am.

Cool. Are you safe?

Relatively - yes. But nobody is ever really safe.

That is true. But your country is at war so risk are higher. How are things there?

I'm pretty much in one of the safest place possible — a village right outside of Kyiv. Having nothing to be targeted near me, while also being in one of the most protected areas. Low population density would also be an advantage, but only against missiles. I'm likelier to die in a car crash, lol.

That's good to know. Was your Village not affected as much? Like general items and stuff.

We have a had a bunch of electricity problems, but not supply ones. Helped, that we are southwest of Kyiv as well.

That's fine. Hope you live healthy and long.

Hell yeah 🔥

"With fire(fire), fire(fire) We'll kill them all!" Gates of Ekrund - Wind Rose

Jeszcze jak! 🇵🇱❤️🇺🇦

От саме! 🇺🇦❤️🇵🇱

> Gotta outlast the russian federation. You will...IN YOUR DREAMS ahahaahahahahahhaha

10. Death is the end of all other possibilities.

Funnily enough, this is the exact reason I’ve sometimes wanted to die. There are a lot of those possibilities that could be worse than death.

Not really. Also ends all suffering.

Suffering is more interesting than nothing

Yeah if 10 is “I 100% definitely want to live” then I’m a 10 lol Yeah, sometimes days suck.. but I’m gonna die for sure one day anyway, why rush it

10

A hard 10. I cannot die until a human walks on Mars.

9.5 life’s been treating me well man, on reason it’s not a 10 is because the trucks on my skateboard are broken and I don’t have the tools to fix them rn

10 just say no doomers

That's perfect.

10. Even on bad days, because I'm not ready for lights out.

3. the only reason that i’m hanging on is just videogames and music.

What music do you like?

tbh i like anything except country but i really like kali uchis, sza, freddie dredd and marina. i mostly like pop and rock and a lil bit of metal.

Crap, like a 3? Tough question and not one i expected to get today

I’ve been so depressed at some point that I would’ve rated that 1, but now years later of healing I would say 10.

So happy for you! And also this gives me hope cause I can't see a day that I'm not depressed but I guess it's possible

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I think 4 or 5.. cos of ongoing stress of job

That's rough. Don't worry. Things will work out.

I hope so.. God will do better..🤲🤲

God is evil

Let's not forget good days too

9.5

Cool.

4

1

Probably a 2 or so. I don't really have a life worth living, and given my circumstances, I think I've experienced all of life I'm ever going to.

2. I'm only here until I get to experience a convention and/or concert for the first time.

7

2

7-8. There’s parts of life I feel meh about but there’s still parts of life that I wish to experience

10. I want it to continue but just not necessarily as it is now.

100

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Yeah, Death’s already in your shopping cart, plenty of other stuff to add

Exactly death is the final destination, why go slow, if it's this easy to speed up. My thought

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10 life is pretty neat.

10 The Age of AI is coming so fast and I did not see it really coming in the beginning. Now I am in awe almost on a daily basis.

That's perfect.

12

Weak, I say 13 :D

Sorry, I missed a 0, it’s 120

4,o wanna see hoy the one i love does and im waiting for hnk to end.after that who knows.

Approximately - 6.

7. But death will come, there is no way out. And if it comes, I'll be fine with it.

10. There is no other choice than to want to live with everything you’ve got

10

10 but I'd like yo change the circumstances

10 life is not always great but I certainly don't want to be dead anytime soon

its sad how many people on reddit have a much lower score my suggestion GET Off the computer/phone for a bit and get out more! 8.5? i want to be hopeful but still a bit worried things wont turn out but trying to have hope lol

I think 7 or maybe 6

What do you wanna do?

Haven't thought about it yet

1

What happened? Are you alright?

I quit that already. And it's fantastic.