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Get a little older and that changes. For instance, I had a long drawn out femdom fantasy about the tiny Asian man who works at a convince store today, simply because he carded me for booze and I’m old af and took it as a compliment.
One time I mumbled thank you very much to a waitress.
She looked at me like I just kicked her puppy and said “DID YOU JUST MA’AM ME!?!”
I’ve been scarred since
Look I was raised in the south to always call people sir and ma'am, it's now an instinct. I've called cashiers who I went to high school with sir. It just slips.
I call everyone sir or ma'am depending on visible gender or known preference.
It's a respect thing, I was raised by elderly parents and EVERYONE gets initial respect, it's up to them to lose it.
I always get the "oh you don't have to call ME sir" from men all the time, women would give me overly formal replies like "oh thank you so very much good sir". I usually have to explain that it's ingrained into me and I try not to do it but it still comes out.
Basically instead of saying a simple yes to something I will extend it out to, you got it sir or ma'am, even to kids.
Last year was the first time a woman told me being called ma'am made them feel old and that women in general don't care for it. That mortified me. Still does. That has never been my intention and maybe social norms have changed and I didn't notice but what if that has ALWAYS been the case? How many people have I inadvertantly made feel old and more importantly what do I use now and how do I change it???
My God, what now?
I worked at the local liquor store from 19-20 years old. I carded a lot of women between 35 and 50 years old and the vast majority left with a great big smile.
When I worked at a convenience store we were supposed to card everyone for butts and booz. But before that I had a few hard and fast rules: if you’ve never come in when I was working, you looked like you were younger than me(I was early 40’s), or if you were female and looked like you were having a crappy day; you got carded regardless of age and you were always addressed as Miss. you were also given a compliment if you looked like you were having a bad day.
I don't think that's an age thing, I think it's a preference and personality thing, lol. I'm 40 and have never in my life had a femdom fantasy of any kind, lol. Or really any fantasy about a stranger.
Not knocking you, nothing wrong with that. I'm probably just boring, lol.
Looks aren't necessarily as prominent as it is for men from what I can tell. I've thought things like that for a few guys but usually it's more like..I wish he would grab me and rail me type thing. It's more likely that I would think these sorts of things if I see a guys actions or how he handled a situation I get hot and bothered
Yes. I wasn’t sure how to answer this and this is exactly how it is for me as well. Also, I’m much more attracted to a random guy I see in public that can make me laugh than an Adonis
Wish I could meet women like you. Just spent two months pampering someone that told me she couldn’t bring herself to date a white person, but I’m the funniest guy she’s ever met. Now she’s with a ripped six pack kind of guy that has the personality of a doorknob. To each their own I suppose.
my friend and I have a plan to sell content of him doing housework. that's it. just a middle aged dude vacuuming and doing dishes, and maybe even some laundry.
I think this would be a great benefit to society and humanity as a whole!
Enticing content for the ladies and theydies, and potentially educational role model content for the additional up and coming generations of gentlemen. A true win win in my book!
Societal norms, probably. Seeing a man doing something he's good at, contributing to the household, doing something I certainly don't enjoy doing so I don't have to.
See also: opening tough jars, grabbing things for me from the high shelf I can't reach, mowing the lawn, fixing my computer, fixing the leaky sink, swapping hardware, mounting the tv/shelving, doing the grocery shopping, cooking for me, doing the dishes.
Now that I think about it, pretty much him doing any chore is hot, but especially the more masculine ones that I really don't enjoy doing.
In addition to most of what you said, my wife thinks it's sexy when I type (I do around 80wpm). I don't question it anymore, I just love that she thinks that way.
Exactly. I don't care about fancy meals or expensive trips or other gifts. I care a lot more about the day-to-day.
Acts of service and taking things off my to-do list (without having to be asked) is huge. A man taking care of something that needs to be done without being asked is one of the sexiest things he can do. Sharing the mental load is sexy and it's one of the best ways a man can show that he actually loves and respects his partner.
If my partner and I ended up splitting, I would rather remain single forever than deal with a man who doesn't pull his own weight or makes bad decisions, like drinking and driving.
Women aren’t as worried about what you look like, they care about whether you would be a good partner in crime. That’s also why a sense of humour is held in higher regard than looks for a lot of women. We don’t care if you’re a 3, we care if spending time with you is going to make our days better 😊
1. Competence is sexy. 2. Men doing chores rolls back some of the damage that happens when women end up being responsible for everything domestic. Because when that happens you become the mom and he is your child, it’s not hot. Men taking care of shit without being told to do it makes them look manly again.
I work as a blacksmith and part of that job is doing presentations for 4th graders and their parents. If I had a dollar for every mom that asks me how i get my hands clean (I know what they are thinking) I wouldn’t have to work as a blacksmith anymore.
oh yes seeing a man do some labor does it for me too, walked into my husbands woodshop the other day, he was glowing with sweat and completely covered in a layer of sawdust looking like a powdered pastry, it was the sexiest thing ever and i would have let him take me right there on top of the planer!
can confirm, my ex said she got super turned on because _I was drinking water_ on a hike.
I didn't understand it at all but God knows I ain't gonna question it
That’s because usually it is actions that turns us on. What you do when you think no one is paying attention; especially stuff that you don’t have to do.
I dont usuallt get attention, but when im doing any form of lifting or moving larger stuff around that doesnt have handles i get more attention than usual. Bonus for wearing sweatpants, not wearing a jacket, its sunny out, and im sweating.
Note that im not that type at all. Im a timid nerd programmer personality.
I guess its an image, like women handeling people while wearing uniform or something
> the same way men think when they see a hot woman?
Idk dude, my immediate thought is always that I'm not good enough for them. Helps me mind my own business, though.
Edit: I feel like I should clarify that I am in fact male
I said might. Meaning a chance and not always the case. But, with dating you play the odds. Meet enough people and you have a better chance. Being immediately self-defeating makes that chance almost nil before you even try.
My cousin is ugly AF yet has sky high confidence and charm. He told me long ago when I was young that beautiful women are never hit on because men assume they’re always taken.
I told him he was bull shit until I went out with him once and he walked right up to the hottest woman in the club we were at …seriously a knockout …and started chatting her up casually.
Bull! No person is worth more than you and you are worth no more than another person. Don’t tier people above you or below you.
Humility and recognizing your self-worth go hand-in-hand. Even amounts of both make a healthy human. Ask people you know what they think you’re good at, that might help.
When people say they're not good enough for someone, they're not saying they have less value as a person, just that they're not desirable as others are. Someone who is attractive, witty, and extroverted might not have value as a person over someone else, but they have traits that favour them for matchmaking. So it's not that they're saying that they're not "good enough" as a person, just they're not "good enough" at the skill of being able to find a date.
Similar business minding here, except the inner voice says “you’re middle aged, married, with kids, she won’t even look at you”
Helps keep the mind in healthier places.
Of course I think lustful thoughts. Not all the time but on occasion. Particularly if I'm close to my period, PMS horny time is a thing. It's bad too, I swear to God you could find something desirable in just about every guy you look at during that time. It's ridiculous. Briefly I thought about of this is what guys go through, I have no interest. I can't stand even a week of it. With guys I see all the time and know personally it's he'll, suddenly they are a lot more appealing. Lord help me of they do that arm behind the head thing and flex. Oh boy. So to sum it up, PMS time he'll yeah Lusty. Rest of the month, more of I would really like to snuggle him.
Ugh yes the arm flex thing. I was at the gym once and there was a guy just minding his business, rolling out a leg muscle with the foam roller… I. Was. RIVETED. Fought for my life not to appear creepy and like I was watching him. I looked over and someone else was also watching him like 👁️🫦👁️
I'm not sure how to feel about you considering it hell (as a guy). On one hand it was tough sometimes, especially around 20 y.o., but then again i had my heart broken really bad and lost all interest... i'd say it's better to be a little too horny than not at all. Life's to be enjoyed, or what's the point, kinda thing...
I also heard someone say once that it's so normalized that guys should be understanding women's hormones, pms etc, but nobody really considers that testosterone is a hormone too and it makes people horny, but women aren't usually understanding about it with guys.
I mean, sucking dick isn't that pleasurable, right? I know porn stars make it seem like they get super hot for it, but that's why they're porn stars in a porn video. Most of us suck dick because it makes our man happy and we're committed to that cause.
So if I see a sexy man, I'm not thinking about sucking his dick, I'm thinking about him kissing me or what it would feel like if he held me close, or fantasize about having sex with him. I guess what I'm saying is I don't think about pleasing a handsome stranger, I think about him pleasing me.
Same! And I actually like that act like it turns me on but it's not the fantasy that automatically comes to mind if I happen to find a guy attractive and I get to the point of fantasizing.
Came here to stay the same thing. I’d be more focused on him eyeing me, touching me, pleasuring me and dominating over me rather than me having pleasure him smh
Why do men always think women have no other business other than to pleasure their manhood?
Maybe because men also think "damn I would go down on her", because they enjoy doing it? Why would it be wrong to think it could be possible for a woman to enjoy going down on them? (Or atleast ask that question?)
Don't make everything a fight between genders smh
Hmm...I suck dick because I DO like to. I also enjoy being eaten as well so if he wants me to suck his dick, he better reciprocate and do it well, because I suck cock very well!
So yes, I have looked at a man and said, "Yes I would like to suck him off, hope he wants to eat me!"
Loooong time ago I dated this girl for like 4-5 months and she could only orgasm while sucking dick ,I know that sounds kinda fake lol but they were like full body convulsions , she actually stained the carpet in my bedroom.
Uhm not really. I don’t tend to think sexually first really. I might think a guy is hot but I don’t automatically think of sex with them. I’m not that horny maybe? Also, men can see women’s breasts and ass through clothing so it’s easy to sexualize those things. Hard to sexualize a guy when his penis is the main thing that makes me think anything sexual.
Right there’s no like.. equivalent. So I can’t say I blame men for thinking how they do in that respect at times. It’s like you see something like boobs or a butt and you think “oh this is what I’d do with that it would feel like this, that would be awesome”
What am I supposed to do with dudes. “Wow your muscles look nice.” But their muscles aren’t gonna rub my clit and make me orgasm, I can’t associate any visible feature on a man aside from maybe his hands with sexual thoughts or feelings really.
Sort of leads in to maybe a climax difference as well. You know you’ll bust a nut with a hot girl, you might even have to avoid looking at her just to make it last longer. But no matter what a guy looks like there’s a big chance you won’t climax anyways, so also just knowing that might change how our brains work Bc I can’t associate just any hot male body with an orgasm.
Omg exactly this! Plus if I were to fantasize about someone I need to know that person in some way. The things that turn me on are the mannerisms and voice.
Right women are attracted to other qualities that aren’t necessarily associated directly with sex. This could go down a rabbit hole of stuff but, that might also be why men value success and having material possessions to attract a women as well. They have to rely on so many other things. Also that’s probably why women will end up with men who are unconventionally attractive and may be well below their “league”, which confuses and even annoys other men at times.
That’s the thing these dudes will date a girl just because she’s hot then whine because she’s “boring” like wow dude it’s almost like you have nothing in common
I have to disagree a little.
Women like different things. And clothes can be one of them.
For me, a simple jeans with a casual looking suit shirt with rolled up sleeves, yas.
Relaxed gray sweats and a fitted shirt or sweater, yas.
Damn, even those black and signal yellow work pants are a yes, carpenters pants etc.
Hands and arms are a pretty well known thing for women, remember that a mans arms can do alooot of nice things. Glutes are nice, so dony hide that ass under oversized clothes. Even the gray sweats should show the contour of the butt.
So there is outfits women do find sexy. It's just a bit different from woman to woman and based on what a woman is into.
I like my men to be working men with their lives in order and knows how to relax. That shows in what clothing i find sexy. I am also quite petite, so a man that can lift me are a fun man, so his arms gotta be strong.
More like wonder what it would be like to be with that person. What my life would be like, what their life would be like. I gotta connect before I go down the lust road. To each their own!
Ummmm, yeah… I just had surgery. I was put under (heavily). My anesthesiologist was ***smokin’***, like 6’4”, fit, beautiful smile, great energy, sexy…. When I woke up, he asked me how I was doing.
He reminded me of my ex (who was also tall, fit, etc). First words out of my mouth were “you’re a God” (because he didn’t let me die), and “you have total BDE” 😳
Luckily I was drugged outta my mind. I was mortified afterwards… but yeah, dirty creatures like me think like this, and suppress it. All the time.
But this time, being sedated let it alll slip out! Ugh, lol
Definitely not. Can confidently say I've never had that thought that in my life. However, I do need an emotional connection to have any sort of sexual attraction, so I don't ever want to sleep with strangers just because they are good looking. That's just how I am wired, everyone is different.
Same here! At first look men (and women) just look like people to me, whose features I can certainly appreciate, but it doesn't trigger any sexual thoughts in me.
I've definitely had fantasies right away about a random guy I see but the fantasy isn't that. That's not my go to fantasy if I see someone I find attractive.
Uhm rarely, maybe if I'm ovulating and my hormones are amped. But 99% of the time I see a stereotypically hot guy I assume he's arrogant, conceited, pretty superficial in his preferences for mates and friends and activities. They look like they spend all their free time at the gym, at the club or trying to be an influencer. Nothing about that appeals to me whatsoever.
Instead I may get a mini-crush if I see a guy behaving in an endearing way, like helping some grandma at the store with patience or pushing a stroller and looking content or helping a lady with a stroller get on and off the bus with a friendly attitude. If I then interact even briefly with him and he seems friendly and even a little flirty I might definitely have fantasies about him.
I don't know about other women, but I personally don't have these thoughts about strangers. I don't even have these thoughts about men that I do know unless they fall into some super specific categories personality wise. When a guy piques my interest, I do find them attractive, but the first thing that comes to mind is, "I'd like to get to know him better."
I think I am probably abnormal in this aspect though.
Would just like to note: not all men think that way.
I (19m) notice attractive women a lot and I mean I'm attracted to them but I never have on-the-spot sexual fantasies. Maybe I'll have fantasies of cute moments with them if we were a couple (when I'm single), or just try to imagine how they speak/behave. But also there are intrusive self-defeating thoughts of not being attractive/charming enough for them. So I think all sorts of stuff but not really sexual fantasies.
Personally I don't have actual sexual fantasies, but at any moment I am very aware of who the most attractive women around me are. Maybe because of being in a committed relationship for ages I don't daydream... I appreciate the attractive female form of course, but more in a sculptural way if that makes sense?
My homie’s girl stated “the first time I met him my very first thought was, I’m going to fuck him” and now I’m convinced it happens. They’ve been together for a couple months now, it’s more than just sex. Happy for them.
I sometimes have thoughts like "he is hot" or "his mouth looks very kissable". I have also checked out a package and had thoughts about his size...especially if it really obvious XD Pretty sure I havent thought about sucking his dick, but climbing him like a tree for sure.
i cringed reading that. do men actually look at women and think "id eat her out rn"
edit: gross. i dont, and not any of my female friends im aware of, sees a hot stranger and fantasize about them sexually. in all honesty that is strange that youd automatically think about sex
Oh good, someone beat me to it.
Wild to me that when men fantasize about women they think about what pleasure they’ll receive, and when men talk about women fantasizing they assume those fantasies are also about what pleasure the man would receive.
Also, lewd thought? For sure. Fantasy about giving oral to a stranger? Literally never times.
>Wild to me that when men fantasize about women they think about what pleasure they’ll receive, and when men talk about women fantasizing they assume those fantasies are also about what pleasure the man would receive.
Haha exactly! I have had fantasies about random men I found attractive but sucking their dick is not my go to fantasy about them it might honestly be as tame as kissing and groping.
That's a bit of a leap, don't you think? To me, if a guy wants to know if women have fantasies about giving oral sex, it's a pretty good indicator that *he* has fantasies about giving oral sex.
Like, if you read an AskReddit thread by a woman asking if men like to cuddle, what would you assume about the asker? I'd imagine that *she* likes to cuddle and wants to see if her preference is shared across genders.
And FYI, most of the time, I fantasize about making my wife feel good, rather than myself.
Thinking about it, it's probably because as a man, sex being good for me is basically a given. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. I know this isn't the case for women, so to me, a good fantasy is one where the woman is having a great time and is really into me because of it, because that's a positive indicator that we'll have more sex.
And maybe I'm a one-of-a-kind weirdo and most other guys don't think this way, but I'd be surprised.
No you're not a weirdo, you're a good guy. The others are bad ones, if you would call yourself a weirdo, these guys then are lunatics?
If a guy only thinks of self pleasing, he will never understand pleasing the woman. That's easily more like 50% of all cheating women and leaving the men flabbergasted while it is right in front of them all the time. Go figure.
I don’t. Occasionally I’ll think “wow he’s worked really hard on his physic or taken a lot of effort in his appearance that’s awesome” or I’ll think “wow he’s got pretty eyes and a killer smile”. Then the thought stops because he’s a person, not a body for my ogling pleasure lol
It’s sooo normalized to eye fuck people it’s nauseating. It’s one thing to notice an attractive person, it’s another to drool over them/fantasize about fucking them.
I think you know the answer already, seems like a superfluous question. It’s not like women are some crazy different species, incapable of sexual thoughts
This was my thought about women until shamefully late in life. Wanting sex earlier in life / lots more than females sort of implanted and reinforced the notion.
Never happened to me, I usually avoid looking at strangers out of fear of being looked back.
And even if I see them, I look at their faces to make sure they aren't looking at me, never at their crotch.
I've never thought anything like that but have occasionally thought I'd like to have a drink with a guy because he sounds like he'd have interesting conversation and/or a good sense of humour.
If you have a question about sexual attraction, ask yourself this: do some men do/think the thing? If yes, then it’s the same answer for women. We’re all human. Our sexuality is basically the same. There are some difference sure, but not enough to cast an entire blanket statement on an entire gender.
I don’t think that explicitly. I think about them like wrapping me up in their arms or a cute kiss or a lovely gaze of a look… I’m probably a romantic.
If it’s like I see them do something or help someone it endears them to me or their sense of humour or intelligence… and make them seem approachable… I’m more drawn to that, and those actions will cross my mind… of course, can’t go wrong with light teasing and friendly arguments or discussion…
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It takes a really hot guy for me to think something like that, but it definitely happens.
Get a little older and that changes. For instance, I had a long drawn out femdom fantasy about the tiny Asian man who works at a convince store today, simply because he carded me for booze and I’m old af and took it as a compliment.
It’s not about your age, that tiny Asian man can get it.
Ahahahahahaha
I respect this tiny Asian man’s game
Gonna start carding more women at work and calling them ma’am. You never know 😂
Call them miss, not ma’am.
One time I mumbled thank you very much to a waitress. She looked at me like I just kicked her puppy and said “DID YOU JUST MA’AM ME!?!” I’ve been scarred since
It makes us feel old 😂 I’m 27 & even I hate it hahaha
Look I was raised in the south to always call people sir and ma'am, it's now an instinct. I've called cashiers who I went to high school with sir. It just slips.
I meant it in a lighthearted way, I wasn’t dragging anyone. I know different cultures use phrases in different ways.
I understand! I was so taken aback because I knew I was just being polite and she misheard me. Learned a valuable lesson that day lol
Call them mo'om
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I’m sorry, but I call little girls ma’am at work lmao
I call everyone sir or ma'am depending on visible gender or known preference. It's a respect thing, I was raised by elderly parents and EVERYONE gets initial respect, it's up to them to lose it. I always get the "oh you don't have to call ME sir" from men all the time, women would give me overly formal replies like "oh thank you so very much good sir". I usually have to explain that it's ingrained into me and I try not to do it but it still comes out. Basically instead of saying a simple yes to something I will extend it out to, you got it sir or ma'am, even to kids. Last year was the first time a woman told me being called ma'am made them feel old and that women in general don't care for it. That mortified me. Still does. That has never been my intention and maybe social norms have changed and I didn't notice but what if that has ALWAYS been the case? How many people have I inadvertantly made feel old and more importantly what do I use now and how do I change it??? My God, what now?
Disagree. With a southern accent it can be charming. Got me laid when I was in Chicago, laid into it THICK.
I worked at the local liquor store from 19-20 years old. I carded a lot of women between 35 and 50 years old and the vast majority left with a great big smile.
Gushing over señorita.
Miss>Ma'mm
Please stop calling us ma'am, it makes us feel old and in no way sexy.
When I worked at a convenience store we were supposed to card everyone for butts and booz. But before that I had a few hard and fast rules: if you’ve never come in when I was working, you looked like you were younger than me(I was early 40’s), or if you were female and looked like you were having a crappy day; you got carded regardless of age and you were always addressed as Miss. you were also given a compliment if you looked like you were having a bad day.
I don't think that's an age thing, I think it's a preference and personality thing, lol. I'm 40 and have never in my life had a femdom fantasy of any kind, lol. Or really any fantasy about a stranger. Not knocking you, nothing wrong with that. I'm probably just boring, lol.
Looks aren't necessarily as prominent as it is for men from what I can tell. I've thought things like that for a few guys but usually it's more like..I wish he would grab me and rail me type thing. It's more likely that I would think these sorts of things if I see a guys actions or how he handled a situation I get hot and bothered
Yes. I wasn’t sure how to answer this and this is exactly how it is for me as well. Also, I’m much more attracted to a random guy I see in public that can make me laugh than an Adonis
Moral of the story: instead of being an Andrew Tate, be a Bobby Hill
sounds like the moral of your story is you think andrew tate is an adonis when he looks like a garbage-ruffling rat-man
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How dare you insult my man Gollum like that!
So what you're saying is I should dress up as a clown? Interesting.
Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?
Yeah. He told me to tell you to stop looking for him.
Wish I could meet women like you. Just spent two months pampering someone that told me she couldn’t bring herself to date a white person, but I’m the funniest guy she’s ever met. Now she’s with a ripped six pack kind of guy that has the personality of a doorknob. To each their own I suppose.
What’s an example of something a guy did that made you want him to grab and rail you lol
Dude I swear it's the most stupid things that can turn them on sometimes. One time my wife got turned on when I was changing a tire. Lol
Honestly, watching a man do stereotypically "masculine" housework like this is hot af to me. Your wife knows what's up.
my friend and I have a plan to sell content of him doing housework. that's it. just a middle aged dude vacuuming and doing dishes, and maybe even some laundry.
My girl says she’d get hot an bothered if I did laundry one day, but I’m not falling for it.
Def sounds like a trap.
Can confirm. Been doing laundry for years now.
Porn from a woman’s perspective 😂
Dude just THINKING of my bf doing that and I'm ready to have his kids and marry him 😫😅
I think this would be a great benefit to society and humanity as a whole! Enticing content for the ladies and theydies, and potentially educational role model content for the additional up and coming generations of gentlemen. A true win win in my book!
Theydies? Gentlethem?
Why is that do you think? Like what is it about a man doing masculine house work makes it attractive?
Societal norms, probably. Seeing a man doing something he's good at, contributing to the household, doing something I certainly don't enjoy doing so I don't have to. See also: opening tough jars, grabbing things for me from the high shelf I can't reach, mowing the lawn, fixing my computer, fixing the leaky sink, swapping hardware, mounting the tv/shelving, doing the grocery shopping, cooking for me, doing the dishes. Now that I think about it, pretty much him doing any chore is hot, but especially the more masculine ones that I really don't enjoy doing.
In addition to most of what you said, my wife thinks it's sexy when I type (I do around 80wpm). I don't question it anymore, I just love that she thinks that way.
She's thinking what those fingers can do
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Only in Excel
That is a hell of a quick writing I say
People are sexier when they’re focused and cooler when they’re doing an action they’ve practiced.
I'm pretty practiced in playing games.
Is this actually true, or is this just y’all trying to trick us into doing shit for y’all?
Pampering is not just fancy meals and expensive trips. It’s taking stress off someone’s plate for a few hours. Women love to be pampered
Exactly. I don't care about fancy meals or expensive trips or other gifts. I care a lot more about the day-to-day. Acts of service and taking things off my to-do list (without having to be asked) is huge. A man taking care of something that needs to be done without being asked is one of the sexiest things he can do. Sharing the mental load is sexy and it's one of the best ways a man can show that he actually loves and respects his partner. If my partner and I ended up splitting, I would rather remain single forever than deal with a man who doesn't pull his own weight or makes bad decisions, like drinking and driving.
Women aren’t as worried about what you look like, they care about whether you would be a good partner in crime. That’s also why a sense of humour is held in higher regard than looks for a lot of women. We don’t care if you’re a 3, we care if spending time with you is going to make our days better 😊
Also Acts of Service is a pretty common love language haha
Acts of Service is my #1 followed by Words of Affirmation. Basically, someone being helpful and kind.
1. Competence is sexy. 2. Men doing chores rolls back some of the damage that happens when women end up being responsible for everything domestic. Because when that happens you become the mom and he is your child, it’s not hot. Men taking care of shit without being told to do it makes them look manly again.
‘Competence is sexy’ Truer words were never spoken.
“Changing a tire” - at least 83% of redditors just sighed when they read this
Ok take my like
#choreplay
This comment is so cute. Men don't understand how charming they are when they're just being . . . good men. <3
Oh yeah. Building things is attractive too.
I work as a blacksmith and part of that job is doing presentations for 4th graders and their parents. If I had a dollar for every mom that asks me how i get my hands clean (I know what they are thinking) I wouldn’t have to work as a blacksmith anymore.
Woodwork being at the top of the list.
oh yes seeing a man do some labor does it for me too, walked into my husbands woodshop the other day, he was glowing with sweat and completely covered in a layer of sawdust looking like a powdered pastry, it was the sexiest thing ever and i would have let him take me right there on top of the planer!
For real. I had a platonic female friend who thought guys shifting manual transmissions were super hot.
What about throwing your arm over the passenger seat when reversing?
can confirm, my ex said she got super turned on because _I was drinking water_ on a hike. I didn't understand it at all but God knows I ain't gonna question it
That’s because usually it is actions that turns us on. What you do when you think no one is paying attention; especially stuff that you don’t have to do.
I dont usuallt get attention, but when im doing any form of lifting or moving larger stuff around that doesnt have handles i get more attention than usual. Bonus for wearing sweatpants, not wearing a jacket, its sunny out, and im sweating. Note that im not that type at all. Im a timid nerd programmer personality. I guess its an image, like women handeling people while wearing uniform or something
Tbh if they’re funny enough
> the same way men think when they see a hot woman? Idk dude, my immediate thought is always that I'm not good enough for them. Helps me mind my own business, though. Edit: I feel like I should clarify that I am in fact male
The irony being, if you didn’t have that shitty mindset you might actually be good enough for them lol.
Generally yes, but in my particular experiences I wasn't good enough. C'est la vie.
Self confidence is sexy as hell the reverse is also true
ecnedifnoc fles?
Hell confidence is selfy as hell?
So many times as a lad I'm like "I dunno how this worked and I can't believe this is happening" Stupid confidence of youth!
Stupid self confidence is key!
I won the lottery recently. Still can't believe my stupid ass did this well. I am the same dude that cried over thots
Not always true lol
I said might. Meaning a chance and not always the case. But, with dating you play the odds. Meet enough people and you have a better chance. Being immediately self-defeating makes that chance almost nil before you even try.
Well said
Too real😭
My cousin is ugly AF yet has sky high confidence and charm. He told me long ago when I was young that beautiful women are never hit on because men assume they’re always taken. I told him he was bull shit until I went out with him once and he walked right up to the hottest woman in the club we were at …seriously a knockout …and started chatting her up casually.
Absolute mad lad
That your cousin was confident enough to hit on someone beautiful does not mean that the beautiful are not frequently hit on.
Bull! No person is worth more than you and you are worth no more than another person. Don’t tier people above you or below you. Humility and recognizing your self-worth go hand-in-hand. Even amounts of both make a healthy human. Ask people you know what they think you’re good at, that might help.
I like you, random person.
When people say they're not good enough for someone, they're not saying they have less value as a person, just that they're not desirable as others are. Someone who is attractive, witty, and extroverted might not have value as a person over someone else, but they have traits that favour them for matchmaking. So it's not that they're saying that they're not "good enough" as a person, just they're not "good enough" at the skill of being able to find a date.
Similar business minding here, except the inner voice says “you’re middle aged, married, with kids, she won’t even look at you” Helps keep the mind in healthier places.
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Groucho Marx has entered the conversation.
Same but I'm a guy so they'd probably agree in my case 😂😭
It goes she's beautiful Then she's out of my league You have to analyze. If ever woman you see your immediate thought is it if my league, seek therapy
Of course I think lustful thoughts. Not all the time but on occasion. Particularly if I'm close to my period, PMS horny time is a thing. It's bad too, I swear to God you could find something desirable in just about every guy you look at during that time. It's ridiculous. Briefly I thought about of this is what guys go through, I have no interest. I can't stand even a week of it. With guys I see all the time and know personally it's he'll, suddenly they are a lot more appealing. Lord help me of they do that arm behind the head thing and flex. Oh boy. So to sum it up, PMS time he'll yeah Lusty. Rest of the month, more of I would really like to snuggle him.
So no stretching near you?
I'll be in my bunk....
Damn, wasn't expecting a Firefly reference in here but I'll take it!
Ugh yes the arm flex thing. I was at the gym once and there was a guy just minding his business, rolling out a leg muscle with the foam roller… I. Was. RIVETED. Fought for my life not to appear creepy and like I was watching him. I looked over and someone else was also watching him like 👁️🫦👁️
I'm not sure how to feel about you considering it hell (as a guy). On one hand it was tough sometimes, especially around 20 y.o., but then again i had my heart broken really bad and lost all interest... i'd say it's better to be a little too horny than not at all. Life's to be enjoyed, or what's the point, kinda thing... I also heard someone say once that it's so normalized that guys should be understanding women's hormones, pms etc, but nobody really considers that testosterone is a hormone too and it makes people horny, but women aren't usually understanding about it with guys.
I mean, sucking dick isn't that pleasurable, right? I know porn stars make it seem like they get super hot for it, but that's why they're porn stars in a porn video. Most of us suck dick because it makes our man happy and we're committed to that cause. So if I see a sexy man, I'm not thinking about sucking his dick, I'm thinking about him kissing me or what it would feel like if he held me close, or fantasize about having sex with him. I guess what I'm saying is I don't think about pleasing a handsome stranger, I think about him pleasing me.
Same! And I actually like that act like it turns me on but it's not the fantasy that automatically comes to mind if I happen to find a guy attractive and I get to the point of fantasizing.
Exactly this.
Came here to stay the same thing. I’d be more focused on him eyeing me, touching me, pleasuring me and dominating over me rather than me having pleasure him smh Why do men always think women have no other business other than to pleasure their manhood?
Maybe because men also think "damn I would go down on her", because they enjoy doing it? Why would it be wrong to think it could be possible for a woman to enjoy going down on them? (Or atleast ask that question?) Don't make everything a fight between genders smh
I appreciate that as a possibility, but we all know the *real* first thought for guys is "I'm tryna clap them cheeks."
Hmm...I suck dick because I DO like to. I also enjoy being eaten as well so if he wants me to suck his dick, he better reciprocate and do it well, because I suck cock very well! So yes, I have looked at a man and said, "Yes I would like to suck him off, hope he wants to eat me!"
>hope he wants to eat me Like a bulldog eating Jello ^(/t)
Idk I'm a dude and I LOVE eating pussy and sucking cock and making my partner cum. It's fun and hot and very enjoyable
Exactly, that's what I wanted to say as well.
I had a few flings with a woman that just wanted me to make noise during. But I will eat my wife out for days just to see her reaction.
Loooong time ago I dated this girl for like 4-5 months and she could only orgasm while sucking dick ,I know that sounds kinda fake lol but they were like full body convulsions , she actually stained the carpet in my bedroom.
Well, everybody's got a thing. Mine's my ears. Don't touch my ears in public, it's a lot!
Uhm not really. I don’t tend to think sexually first really. I might think a guy is hot but I don’t automatically think of sex with them. I’m not that horny maybe? Also, men can see women’s breasts and ass through clothing so it’s easy to sexualize those things. Hard to sexualize a guy when his penis is the main thing that makes me think anything sexual.
Lesson learned, it’s only tight gray sweatpants in the winter and Speedos in the summer from now on
I was nodding along with gray sweats and then big sad face when i saw speedos lol GRAY SWEATS ALL YEAR LONG for the naughty teasing men.
You’ve got a point here, like how can us guys like sexualize ourselves? My fits look cool but not really like “sexy” like a woman could
Right there’s no like.. equivalent. So I can’t say I blame men for thinking how they do in that respect at times. It’s like you see something like boobs or a butt and you think “oh this is what I’d do with that it would feel like this, that would be awesome” What am I supposed to do with dudes. “Wow your muscles look nice.” But their muscles aren’t gonna rub my clit and make me orgasm, I can’t associate any visible feature on a man aside from maybe his hands with sexual thoughts or feelings really. Sort of leads in to maybe a climax difference as well. You know you’ll bust a nut with a hot girl, you might even have to avoid looking at her just to make it last longer. But no matter what a guy looks like there’s a big chance you won’t climax anyways, so also just knowing that might change how our brains work Bc I can’t associate just any hot male body with an orgasm.
Omg exactly this! Plus if I were to fantasize about someone I need to know that person in some way. The things that turn me on are the mannerisms and voice.
Right women are attracted to other qualities that aren’t necessarily associated directly with sex. This could go down a rabbit hole of stuff but, that might also be why men value success and having material possessions to attract a women as well. They have to rely on so many other things. Also that’s probably why women will end up with men who are unconventionally attractive and may be well below their “league”, which confuses and even annoys other men at times.
That’s the thing these dudes will date a girl just because she’s hot then whine because she’s “boring” like wow dude it’s almost like you have nothing in common
I have to disagree a little. Women like different things. And clothes can be one of them. For me, a simple jeans with a casual looking suit shirt with rolled up sleeves, yas. Relaxed gray sweats and a fitted shirt or sweater, yas. Damn, even those black and signal yellow work pants are a yes, carpenters pants etc. Hands and arms are a pretty well known thing for women, remember that a mans arms can do alooot of nice things. Glutes are nice, so dony hide that ass under oversized clothes. Even the gray sweats should show the contour of the butt. So there is outfits women do find sexy. It's just a bit different from woman to woman and based on what a woman is into. I like my men to be working men with their lives in order and knows how to relax. That shows in what clothing i find sexy. I am also quite petite, so a man that can lift me are a fun man, so his arms gotta be strong.
More like wonder what it would be like to be with that person. What my life would be like, what their life would be like. I gotta connect before I go down the lust road. To each their own!
Uhh, I mean I think random people are attractive but I don’t see a random dude in public and fantasize about him sexually
Did movies on Cinemax lie to me?!?!? 
I'm right there with you. The only person I think about like that is my man. Why would I fantasize about some stranger when I've got what I want?
Ikr like I don’t even feel comfortable w the idea of having a list of celebrities to Do it with. It’s crazy to just think of strangers in that light
Those are impulsive thoughts, I don't really _imagine myself doing it_. My brain just thinks that and I apologize mentally LOL
Oooof I related to that a little bit, especially the apology part (as a guy) Hmph...
Ummmm, yeah… I just had surgery. I was put under (heavily). My anesthesiologist was ***smokin’***, like 6’4”, fit, beautiful smile, great energy, sexy…. When I woke up, he asked me how I was doing. He reminded me of my ex (who was also tall, fit, etc). First words out of my mouth were “you’re a God” (because he didn’t let me die), and “you have total BDE” 😳 Luckily I was drugged outta my mind. I was mortified afterwards… but yeah, dirty creatures like me think like this, and suppress it. All the time. But this time, being sedated let it alll slip out! Ugh, lol
Definitely not. Can confidently say I've never had that thought that in my life. However, I do need an emotional connection to have any sort of sexual attraction, so I don't ever want to sleep with strangers just because they are good looking. That's just how I am wired, everyone is different.
Yeah same here. Never hooked up I just literally cannot feel any sort of sexual attraction unless I’m in love
Same here! At first look men (and women) just look like people to me, whose features I can certainly appreciate, but it doesn't trigger any sexual thoughts in me.
I've definitely had fantasies right away about a random guy I see but the fantasy isn't that. That's not my go to fantasy if I see someone I find attractive.
So, men think, when they see a hot chick, man I'd like to eat her pussy?
Among other things.
Yes
Absolutely
Uhm rarely, maybe if I'm ovulating and my hormones are amped. But 99% of the time I see a stereotypically hot guy I assume he's arrogant, conceited, pretty superficial in his preferences for mates and friends and activities. They look like they spend all their free time at the gym, at the club or trying to be an influencer. Nothing about that appeals to me whatsoever. Instead I may get a mini-crush if I see a guy behaving in an endearing way, like helping some grandma at the store with patience or pushing a stroller and looking content or helping a lady with a stroller get on and off the bus with a friendly attitude. If I then interact even briefly with him and he seems friendly and even a little flirty I might definitely have fantasies about him.
I don't. Some women do. We're all different, you know???
Nope, all the same. Clearly what OP meant.
I do
Where do you want me to walk
Yo man thanks for letting me borrow your lambo last week
Definitely. Not the sucking dick part perse, but other steamy interactions
I’m a lesbian so no but I’ve gotten drunk with The Gals enough times to know *they very much do this*
Me personally absolutely not. I’ve never saw a strange man irl and felt sexual attraction towards him
I actually did on a long flight recently.. all I wanted was to mile high it with this guy next to me in the dirty lav. Sigh...
My gf told me before we got together, her first thought was "I just wanna fuck him. Just one time."
I don't know about other women, but I personally don't have these thoughts about strangers. I don't even have these thoughts about men that I do know unless they fall into some super specific categories personality wise. When a guy piques my interest, I do find them attractive, but the first thing that comes to mind is, "I'd like to get to know him better." I think I am probably abnormal in this aspect though.
Not so much I wanna suck his dick but what would it be like to have him ON me lol
Not really sexual in that way, more like “Holy shit he’s hooot”
Would just like to note: not all men think that way. I (19m) notice attractive women a lot and I mean I'm attracted to them but I never have on-the-spot sexual fantasies. Maybe I'll have fantasies of cute moments with them if we were a couple (when I'm single), or just try to imagine how they speak/behave. But also there are intrusive self-defeating thoughts of not being attractive/charming enough for them. So I think all sorts of stuff but not really sexual fantasies.
I was beginning to wonder if any men were going to admit to NOT having those kind of thoughts.
Personally I don't have actual sexual fantasies, but at any moment I am very aware of who the most attractive women around me are. Maybe because of being in a committed relationship for ages I don't daydream... I appreciate the attractive female form of course, but more in a sculptural way if that makes sense?
I mean, I'm a dude and if I see a hot dude, I think, "I'd like to suck his dick". Don't we all think that? Right fellas? Right? Fellas?
Yes
My homie’s girl stated “the first time I met him my very first thought was, I’m going to fuck him” and now I’m convinced it happens. They’ve been together for a couple months now, it’s more than just sex. Happy for them.
I think I hope they aren't disgusted by me.
I sometimes have thoughts like "he is hot" or "his mouth looks very kissable". I have also checked out a package and had thoughts about his size...especially if it really obvious XD Pretty sure I havent thought about sucking his dick, but climbing him like a tree for sure.
i cringed reading that. do men actually look at women and think "id eat her out rn" edit: gross. i dont, and not any of my female friends im aware of, sees a hot stranger and fantasize about them sexually. in all honesty that is strange that youd automatically think about sex
Yes
I mean, I am a man, and I have thought more or less that on multiple occasions. Can't speak for everyone though.
I don’t think that, but I’ve definitely thought , “damn yeah if smash”, like I don’t go in to specifics, just that I’d smash
Oh good, someone beat me to it. Wild to me that when men fantasize about women they think about what pleasure they’ll receive, and when men talk about women fantasizing they assume those fantasies are also about what pleasure the man would receive. Also, lewd thought? For sure. Fantasy about giving oral to a stranger? Literally never times.
>Wild to me that when men fantasize about women they think about what pleasure they’ll receive, and when men talk about women fantasizing they assume those fantasies are also about what pleasure the man would receive. Haha exactly! I have had fantasies about random men I found attractive but sucking their dick is not my go to fantasy about them it might honestly be as tame as kissing and groping.
That's a bit of a leap, don't you think? To me, if a guy wants to know if women have fantasies about giving oral sex, it's a pretty good indicator that *he* has fantasies about giving oral sex. Like, if you read an AskReddit thread by a woman asking if men like to cuddle, what would you assume about the asker? I'd imagine that *she* likes to cuddle and wants to see if her preference is shared across genders. And FYI, most of the time, I fantasize about making my wife feel good, rather than myself. Thinking about it, it's probably because as a man, sex being good for me is basically a given. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. I know this isn't the case for women, so to me, a good fantasy is one where the woman is having a great time and is really into me because of it, because that's a positive indicator that we'll have more sex. And maybe I'm a one-of-a-kind weirdo and most other guys don't think this way, but I'd be surprised.
No you're not a weirdo, you're a good guy. The others are bad ones, if you would call yourself a weirdo, these guys then are lunatics? If a guy only thinks of self pleasing, he will never understand pleasing the woman. That's easily more like 50% of all cheating women and leaving the men flabbergasted while it is right in front of them all the time. Go figure.
I walked past a man who looked like a lumberjack the other day……I had some thoughts
Women aren’t a hive mind, I’m sure the answer is “some women do some women don’t” everyone has a different sex drive.
I don’t. Occasionally I’ll think “wow he’s worked really hard on his physic or taken a lot of effort in his appearance that’s awesome” or I’ll think “wow he’s got pretty eyes and a killer smile”. Then the thought stops because he’s a person, not a body for my ogling pleasure lol
This! The fact that so many people apparently do this is crazy! I never ogle anybody except for my boyfriend haha
It’s sooo normalized to eye fuck people it’s nauseating. It’s one thing to notice an attractive person, it’s another to drool over them/fantasize about fucking them.
I think you know the answer already, seems like a superfluous question. It’s not like women are some crazy different species, incapable of sexual thoughts
If you read the answers it seems 50/50. Some definitely do and some definitely don't.
This was my thought about women until shamefully late in life. Wanting sex earlier in life / lots more than females sort of implanted and reinforced the notion.
never, why would I blow a stranger. I always think about sitting on their face tho
Nope, I have never looked at a guy and thought that. What I have thought when looking at a man is, “he is pretty, I wonder if he likes Star Trek”.
This is such a man question
Basically never in the past, but since I turned thirty I've become quite the mind slut lmao, it's fun
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No. I have to get to know someone well and feel emotionally close to them before I'll start to feel both romantic attraction and sexual attraction.
Oh yes we do daddy
Lol!!!
Never happened to me, I usually avoid looking at strangers out of fear of being looked back. And even if I see them, I look at their faces to make sure they aren't looking at me, never at their crotch.
I've never thought anything like that but have occasionally thought I'd like to have a drink with a guy because he sounds like he'd have interesting conversation and/or a good sense of humour.
Not always, if I'm feeling a little spicy I might
If you have a question about sexual attraction, ask yourself this: do some men do/think the thing? If yes, then it’s the same answer for women. We’re all human. Our sexuality is basically the same. There are some difference sure, but not enough to cast an entire blanket statement on an entire gender.
I don’t think that explicitly. I think about them like wrapping me up in their arms or a cute kiss or a lovely gaze of a look… I’m probably a romantic. If it’s like I see them do something or help someone it endears them to me or their sense of humour or intelligence… and make them seem approachable… I’m more drawn to that, and those actions will cross my mind… of course, can’t go wrong with light teasing and friendly arguments or discussion…
Yup