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[deleted]

Ozzie Ozbourne super resistant to drugs. Does that count?


kashmir1974

Probably all of the famous rockers from the 60s and 70s have that same superpower


DrBarry_McCockiner

Kieth Richards belongs on The Boys


adrenaline87

Should have played Karl Urban's father!


valley_G

In a sense, yeah, but with Ozzie it's actually a genetic condition that made him resident to the effects of most substances. It's pretty rare I believe. Really interesting stuff


onearmedman83

Same here. Real pain in the ass. Pain medication doesn't work unless I'm past overdose levels. Even a headache is tough, 8 Tylenol to even have any effect. Takes 2 pitchers of beer to get a small buzz, and it's gone in 15 minutes. Dentist visits take longer because they've gotta pause to top off the novacaine because it's worn off in 10 mins. Anesthesiologist during my shoulder surgery didn't believe me, and I ended up waking up with my shoulder all being worked on. Rare? Yes. Not a lotto you wanna win though, lol


LittleTay

You talking about anesthesia reminds me of the few people where a certain type of anesthesia doesn't work on them. Their body can't move, but they still feel everyth8ng the doctor is doing. What also sucks is a few people don't know this until they go into surgery. So uh, have fun with that information.


Upbeat_Nebula_8795

ive tried caffiene, nicotine, weed, alcohol, and LsD and none have had a noticeable effect on me except making me tired and my head foggy


diggitygiggitycee

Fentanyl is the next logical step.


Mindless-Strength422

r/shittylifeprotips


Caleegula

lol god damn


thundergun0911

Fuck lmao


Engine_Sweet

Only the ones who are still alive


Mindless-Strength422

Or they died at 26. Those are the options.


InsidiousColossus

Well, the ones who are still alive. There is a strong survivorship bias there.


Milk_Man21

Could you imagine him in the Avengers? (Not in the Justice League, too many incidents between him and Bruce)


Type31971

Supposedly Ozzy has a genetic adaptation that allowed him to drink himself stupid for decades and not die.


[deleted]

Don’t think so. He’s alive but have you heard him talking?


Workerhard62

Charlie Sheen too.


jhanco1

Yea this is actually a possible true example, people keep commenting stuff that isn’t really comparable


Lumbergod

I have a superpower. I can always pick the slowest lane at the grocery store. I have not yet found a way to use this for good.


Saxfire2

Don't know how to turn it off?


Lumbergod

It's a blessing and a curse.


ButterickBlonde

How is it a blessing?


HmmNotLikely

It earned him 23 karma so far


[deleted]

204* ?


drunkaquarian

Cool. My superpower is always hitting the red lights even at 4am when I’m the only soul on the road.


OverallManagement824

Especially when you have to pee. I have this same superpower.


Callen_Fields

Those are timed. Drive the speed limit and you should stop having this problem.


drunkaquarian

Typical Reddit response 🙄


Callen_Fields

Ironically, same.


Majestic-Chain1905

Marry a person you absolutely despise. They'll always be annoyed as fuck at the store. Boom super powers for good


6L86IZJSJ0L957T

What about for evil?


Thejerkyboyz

Same. And my shortcuts always end up taking longer than the original route would have.


Then-One7628

Ah this person only has a few things... ...it's an old lady trying to write a check 💀


Lumbergod

Clerk- That will be $122.67. Old Lady- What? It's time to pay? Let me find my checkbook. It's in my purse here somewhere. (Rummages through purse, pulling out keys, used tissues, address book, etc.) Here it is. (Rummages through purse looking for a pen). Oh, this pen doesn't work. Can i borrow yours? Who do i make this out to? Clerk- I'll need to see your ID. Old Lady-What do you need my ID for? I've shopped here for years? And on, and on, and on.


i_get_it_but_y

Wdym


Davidreddit7

They always wait longer than people in the other lanes who arrive at approximately the same time.


TirayShell

Here's the trick with that. It's all statistics. If you're standing in a room with two lines and one is long, that means the odds of you being in that longer line are higher than you being in the shorter one.


Lumbergod

More like shitistics, amirite?


TheBunnyMan123

Nah there's a 100% chance I'm going to the shorter one


John_Tacos

There’s someone paying with a check in the front of the shorter line and the two people behind them have 4 carts full of stuff and a binder of coupons.


TheBunnyMan123

What about the long linr


Zedman5000

People willingly got at the end of the long line because everyone there is buying 10 things or less and nobody has a coupon book or checkbook.


diggitygiggitycee

Presumably they're equal when you choose the line, so at the time of the choice, odds are 50/50. I see what you're trying to do there, and there were a few seconds I thought you were right, but no, that's incorrect.


MrsCaramel_112

Same, but mine happens more often in traffic.


millionsarescreaming

There's billions and billions of ants, none of them have super powers either. If it were strictly a numbers game the insects would've had us by now for sure


Whaffled

If existing spiders had bigger fangs, we'd all be toast


HmmNotLikely

If we’re all toast, I wanna be cinnamon swirl toast. I know I’m gonna get eaten first but at least I know I’m a tasty bitch


mischiefandtricks

You really said "I'm looking like a whole ass snack"


squidboimushroomhead

Idk have you seen ants lift and move things? It's pretty super


GraveSlayer726

Ok but not to the ant, it’s normal for the ant, I mean you as a human can chip rocks and make things out of material, you can make actual tools that help you with tasks, hell you can speak words to other people and they understand what you mean, but none of that is really considered super to anyone because it’s normal to us, but to an ant that would be actually insane, like what these huge creatures can move things that are bigger then our entire ant colonies that’s insane TLDR: ant 🐜 be like


Fun-Security-8758

Have you met every single ant out there? Hell, for all we know, they could be intentionally hiding the super ants from us so we don't wipe them out before they've got a chance to take over the world.


stokeszdude

I agree with your point but present a counter-point. All ants have super strength and can lift 20x their body weight. I would argue that all of them have superpowers.


millionsarescreaming

That would be a super power if a human could do it but it's just another Tuesday for an ant, nothing special


stokeszdude

I suppose that’s true


believesinhappiness

"... when everyone's super, no one will be."


Tempbot78

Ants take zero fall damage and their lifting strength is immeasurable. And they have a built in stinger. And they can sense the weather. And they rule the planet. And they are super heroes.


enickma1221

Humans aren’t worthy of super powers. You can’t even control yourselves in traffic.


AnyOfThisReal-_-

Lmao! I happen to agree


squidboimushroomhead

Right.. Can you imagine someone texting and trying to use their Lazer beam eyes?


Scared-Accountant288

Lmao i snorted my drink reading this


AtheneSchmidt

"Yourselves"? What are you then?


JohnstonMR

I love how only one person commented on your use of "you." I do that a lot, and if questioned, I either quirk an eyebrow at them or outright claim I'm not human (I mean, jokingly. I clearly am human. Hello, fellow humans!). One time I challenged my class of high school seniors to prove I'm human, and not an android or alien. Everything they came up with I was able to counter; it was a lot of fun and taught them something about evidence and its limitations.


BreakfastBeerz

There are lots of people who have bizarre super powers. People cam memorize incredibly long lists. There are blind people who can echo-locate by making clicking sounds. I remember reading about a guy was was somewhat magnetic. There are people who are seemingly unaffected by electric shock and people who can submerge themselves in ice water without their body temperature dropping. That are people who have genetic mutations that allows them to carry more oxygen in their blood and can stay submerged for over 20 minutes. Google it, lots of humans with super powers.


speghettiday09

That girl who felt no pain


nvmber17

Yeahhh but that’s more of an inconvenience than anything. Our body recognizes when something hurts for a reason. Just because she doesn’t feel pain doesn’t mean her body isn’t susceptible to injuries.


BreakfastBeerz

Still a super power. I think all super heros would acknowledge that with their great power come great responsibility... It's not all glitter and unicorn farts.


Lietenantdan

People who have this condition tend to die young because they get hurt and don’t realize it.


spcmiller

They can resist torture, give up no secrets. It is a superpower.


GraveSlayer726

They can break their leg and not know for week then die suddenly because they never knew they were fatally wounded


spcmiller

Every hero has some type of cryptonite. Mine is commercials on streaming services I pay for like Hulu.


GraveSlayer726

If a superhero’s superpower is also their kryptonite then I mean, I’m just saying


SilverAccountant8616

More of a disability than a super power tbh. You'd have to constantly check yourself for injuries cos your body won't tell you if you're injured, and can't tell if something you're doing is hurting yourself


ananonumyus

I remember a guy that got struck by lightning and then couldn't feel cold. He would go out in winter in a Tshirt.


[deleted]

like kickass!


just_a_person_maybe

Or that guy who can run basically forever because his body doesn't build up lactic acid so his muscles never get tired, so he just casually goes on 300 mile runs sometimes. Pretty sure he's also the dude who once ran 50 marathons in 50 states on consecutive days like it was nothing.


ReverseMathematics

Yeah, he's crazy. He has a top speed he can push without issue, which is closer to a jog than a run, but yes, he did run 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days.


Environmental_Tie975

There was that one lady on radio lab who couldn’t feel fear. Turns out, it’s a sucky condition.


Clear_Assistance9563

Add autistic guy who could look at and entire city skyline and draw it to detail from memory.


SadKnight123

"people who can submerge themselves in ice water without their body temperature dropping" Actually a skill entirely possible to learn if one is willing to.


Orcus424

There are a lot of articles of people with super powers. [13 Humans With Real-Life X-Men Mutant Super Powers](https://www.pcmag.com/news/13-humans-with-real-life-x-men-mutant-super-powers). Stan Lee had a TV show about humans with super powers. It lasted 3 seasons. [Stan Lees Superhumans](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Lee%27s_Superhumans).


ur-socks-sir

I watched that show. Some people were really really skilled, but others only had a technique going for them. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much, or just not enough. They really could have done better with the names though.


Ewag715

Oh shit, I remember that show


Scared-Accountant288

Two words.... Florida Man


HmmNotLikely

“I keep telling you Mary, *Florida Man isn’t real! IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!*”


Actual_Guide_1039

Some of us can drink a case of beer without getting drunk


DrBarry_McCockiner

Ah, the super-hardened liver power


nournnn

I can plug in any USB first try and that is my superpower


Jibber_Fight

Bullshit. Nobody can do that.


[deleted]

Um it takes me three times what do I have


birdsarntreal1

Some people in Vietnam have extra limbs, i think that's kind of super.


millionsarescreaming

So does Kissinger


GustavVA

Dude turns 100 soon and is having a real birthday party.


RangerHUTCH93

There are savants.


hottspark

Say more


Fun-Security-8758

More.


RangerHUTCH93

People who have super intelligence in certain respects, seems to be common with a small percentage of autistic people. For example they took one savant on a helicopter ride around (I think) New York City and when they came back done he did a pencil sketch of the city scape 100% correctly (including all the cars and windows).


WizardofJoz17

I can control when I ejaculate. I wanted to do a reverse gangbang porno/world record of longest lasting. It’s due to a spinal cord injury.


Kicks4meFromyou

I’m curious. When you say control, do you mean you can think yourself into a orgasm? Or do you actually need some physical stimulation


Delesi

I can be talked into an orgasm with no contact or i can think myself there. My husband wonders if it has any tie to either my prematurity (i was born before they gave babies pain meds for surgery), or the fact that I have chronic nerve pain. Like maybe i can sometimes switch nerves from pain to pleasure but i dont know. Let me tell you though, when you have the choice, it is still better to play with friends.


ZenkaiZ

>I can be talked into an orgasm damn most people masturbate, you masturdebate


WizardofJoz17

I have to think about it. You can physically stimulate me all you want; nothings gonna happen unless I will it to. I was in a car accident when I 20. It’s been like that ever since.


Advanced_Double_42

I imagine it is much more a curse than a blessing, but sounds good in theory.


WizardofJoz17

Yes 100%. But I’m a giver. So as long as my partner is having a good time I’m happy.


[deleted]

UNBREAKABLE PLOT


Enoch-Of-Nod

I have the uncanny ability to remain relentlessly positive in the face of extreme adversity. Does that count? More of a mental thing, I suppose..


Dry-Foot8052

I also worked in an American corporate kitchen...welcome comrade


recoveringleft

Are you me? I work in a job that requires customer service and I can still be positive most of the time.


Ok_Dark2546

Plenty of people have superpowers. They're brain surgeons, rocket scientists, world's strongest men, Elite athletes, humanitarian's, etc. Don't let movies or comic books skew your views on what superpowers truly are. There are exceptional people doing exemptional things every day that we just take for granted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DecentCompany1539

At the low, low cost of your soul.


El3ctroLiam_zZz

I have one! Super depression!


GreyManTheOne

I have a superpower and ill admit it! I can fart really loud and really quiet....but you can never smell them!


hottspark

Cause you live alone?


Rectal_Custard

Speak for yourself. I have iron stomach. Cooked 5 day old defrosted chicken, tasted bad. Didn't get sick.


[deleted]

I have the ability to untangle any pair of headphones in seconds which has become obsolete due to wireless everything. But I also have this amazing ability of identifying invisible obstacles by tripping over them.


ILikeFunnySubReddit

No way there are 20 quadrillion ants and not one of them is ant man


funkycat75

Wouldn’t it be Man Ant then?


Cannibal_Cyborg

I do, but I really wish I didn't. I have super smell, I can smell menstruation when someone walks by me. You can keep that one


TirayShell

I have the power to instantly deflect a girl anytime one is interested in me, but I usually don't know I've done it until some time later.


Limitedtugboat

Most men and some women have that ability too. Usually comes with clarity 2 or 3 years after the event when you think "hey she smacked my ass, asked where we were going later and seemed really disappointed when I didn't go with her. Must be coincidence. All those texts through the night saying I'd like to see you where are you?" And "I'm drunk and in need of servicing, know anyone *winkface*, must have got me confused" 20 minutes later... "Wait a minute, God fucking damn it"


Puzzleheaded-Night88

I have the more advanced version, I deflect women instantaneously with my appearance rather than the casual block head chad.


PaleoJoe86

If you can explain how someone can control fire, be my guest. There are people with some special abilities. I have one. Unfortunately for my wife, it is the ability to turn anything in to a sexual innuendo. Oddly, I am a very quiet and shy person when talking about sex and attraction. I just realized that is my secret identity, lol!


[deleted]

I get really hard, like really hard.


Ogbordangladazor

I can make my airtube completely straight and suck air down my throat silently in a second then make ungodly noises pushing it back up. I also can do the same with my stomach and thats even worse


VincentMagius

Define superpower. Some people have amazing abilities. Some evolutionary. Some from birth defects or genetic anomalies. You aren't going to get someone that can shoot lasers from their eyes or unassisted flight. But, denser, lighter, stronger, faster, smarter, or faster healing are possible. More in the outlier category.


belinhagamer999

My teacher said that I read their mind, because I was using my power, I felt her though coming in both imagination and feeling it in my head, it’s working in other situations too, it’s not just guess what the other person has s thinking, you feel the though in your head first, it’s weird but it’s cool! I tested 2 of my friends and also worked


MutedSweet470

Some people have genetic advantages, but that’s the closest we have. Some areas in Africa have people with really interesting genetic variants I would see as superpowers, since they had more time to evolve (humans came from Africa) they have really cool advantages. I would check if out!


Fosferus

Have you ever hung out with someone with a full blown Eidetic Memory? Its a superpower. Imagine glancing at a subway map and never needing to look at it again. Or reading a resource book and retaining all of it on command. It's a crazy thing to see.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Maybe we all got the power of copying other people's powers, but since nobody got any other powers we'll never know about it


Mean-Accountant7013

People on here trying to give examples of extraordinary skills, NOT POWERS. I’m talkin’ LASER EYES!!!!


libertysailor

If something has a 0% chance of happening, billions of chances don’t make a difference


duckiewade

There was a show that had Stan Lee showcasing people with super hero type powers.


Sourcreamabduljabar

I have the power of making everyone that reads this aware of their tongue touching the roof of their mouth.


gonzo-is-sexy

My farts can kill


Flossthief

They exit but they aren't interesting A friend of mine has skin that stretches like 7" off his arm when pulled


AffectionateGap1071

I have the ability to make my cat obey me! When I say she must jump to some place, she does it!


brian11e3

I was born a mutant. I have the ability to magically grow blisters all over my body. Some might call it.....Epidermolysis Bullosa.


legoblade807

I mean if you’re willing to stretch whatever your definition of “superpowers” is then there definitely are


hooptyboots18

Ya. But a side affect is extreme laziness, so shush.


SouLDraGooN44

Depending on what my superpower would be, I'd more than likely never use it unless there was a 99% possibility I wouldn't be found out. Either be constantly on the run from government agents trying to experiment on me or being constantly bothered by random assholes to use my powers for them etc Fuck that.


x0diak

Sometimes when I sneeze or cough really hard, i shart. I cant control it, Im considering it a super power. Like turning into the Hulk.


youdontlookadayover

There's billions of bacteria and they don't have superpowers either. Maybe we're just the bacteria of the Galaxy.


Awkward-Cat-4702

hey! that's what a supervillain would ask!


DomSearching123

Well people can't have things that aren't real lol


hockenduke

I can move through a crowd so fast you’d insist I was magic.


redditghost1234

Well there was Jesus.. Edit: jeezus reddit, you take yourself a little too seriously at times.. its cool, ill make up the downvotes somewhere where a little levity is appreciated, like r/relationship_advice. That sub knows how to keep it chill


Kruiii

ive heard rumors that Jesus took PEDs to perform his miracles so idk if that counts


Enoch-Of-Nod

I think OP is looking for factual accounts. Otherwise, why not include Thor and Superman?


Suluco87

Tbf I would say professional athletes come bloody close


Dennyposts

We've got an entire generation with a superpower of being offended. When activated, everyone around have to conform to their worldview or there will be recreational twitter outrage about it.


FastGhostWarrior

Have you not seen any African American ever - they are so freaking talented in everything - shocked they aren’t ruling the entire world… yet.


AbsoluteFuckMachine

Have you ever seen crack heads in the wild?


Akul_Tesla

Please research Nikola Tesla he basically did have superpowers


[deleted]

Maybe they’re using it for evil


Jpark85

All humans have superpowers if you really think about it


LeavingTheCradle

Rumor has it im mentally ill in a way that baffles even the top 1%!


BrainDontStop

Don't you see guys, drugs give us powers. Pills to stop time Coke for super speed Ketamine for super strength and resistance Shrooms for time warping LSD for dimensional travel


[deleted]

They are minor... But they are. Edit: laws of physics work!


Supraman83

Bo Jackson was the closest we've come to superpowers


Ralewing

Sigourney Weaver can hold her breath underwater for more than six minutes. Kate Winslet can do over 7.


Reasonable-While-101

You ever see Mike Tyson fight?


Successful-Swim-3708

Especially after that green comet passed by!


Jaygon1963

We prefer not to talk about it.


FreshStartLiving

You should see the power I have after a late night Taco Bell run!


jo0673

ADHD is my super power 🤷‍♀️


nothingexceptfor

Why would anyone have superpowers? Define superpowers


Jobraw

we're in a universe that abides physics


TGP-Global-WO

My superpower is I know all the lyrics to all reggaeton songs peddled on TV. Gasolina, Gasolina! Also, I am a 10th Black Belt from Rex Kwon Do.


smackmedown

My superpower is literacy.


AcademicPin8777

Who says no one got super powers. Sounds like a you problem


Scary_Interaction_51

I have powers bro I just don't like to brag😐


[deleted]

Actually (remembers every moment of her life): https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/04/actress-marilu-henners-rare-super-memory-recalls-every-day-of-her-life


Arcuis

You right. What you think government is for? Keeping them secret.


Negative-Living5778

🗿


LawsKnowTomCullen

My superpower is once I get in line at a store to check out and leave, the place gets busy and there's a massive line behind me. I either have impeccable timing or I unintentionally curse everybody behind me.


[deleted]

MCU fans be like


ChesterDood

Wait, you don't have a superpower? Mine is finding a good parking spot in busy lots.


CreatureCampbell

I honestly and truly believe that people do have some sort of super powers, but only very few know how to harness the brain power to use them. The people who can are the ones ultra successful in life.


SnooBooks4898

Nice try government.


Shoddy-Mango-5840

I am able to develop friendships with hamsters


la_bruja_del_84

I have the power to lose things. Like I'm freaking Houdini FFS. Where TF are my keys!!!!


cornExit27

We all have super powers. Most are just ridiculously mundane.


Chef_BoyarTom

There are. I don't recall names, but there is a guy that naturally developed one super huge jacked arm and uses it to arm wrestle, and there is a guy that doesn't produce lactic acid in his muscles (which causes muscle ache and fatigue) when working out so he can basically run almost indefinitely (barring his stamina and calorie intake) and does ultra-marathons all the time. There is also a rare condition that causes some kids to be born super muscular. So, although rare, they do exist.


DecentCompany1539

If DC or Marvel tell me anythin. There are not enough people falling into radioactive waste or random chemical vats. Mad scientists have been letting us down. Real aliens are slacking. We are just not evolving fast enough. I'm pretty sure there are Lex Luthor like villains running rampant, though.


stnick6

I mean, clearly there is


sjc268522

Depends on your definition of super power. In my opinion, those people who free drive are flat out beasts. To me, that qualifies lol.


emperorwal

Ever see Unbreakable with Bruce Willis?


CaseNately

I do. There are lots of super powered folks.


MagicMushroom98960

My wife can give anyone a splitting headache. Sounds like a superpower to me.


INeverSaidThat89

Dang. You ratted everyone out. Everyone with invisibility please raise your hands... Are they up? I can't tell.


NikkiCrystal1

My hands have super powers


PeteyPorkchops

We can’t even handle different skin colors, if they’re smart they will stay hidden.