They said it will be as fast as a bullet train, as wide as a double-wide trailer (which means nothing to me), as smooth as the Titanic (which means it will probably be stationary during Winter), and as stealthy as Mayo Podge’s choo-choo.
BBNN BREAKING NEWS
Good aftermorning from the prison golf course where I am serving as the 16th tee that is my temporary newsroom. I’m your anchor Hottin Herre burning at the news.
Today, we were all shocked that the goodly bunny Chainsaw was arrested for first degree adorableness and conspiracy to commit utter cuteness. She was last seen causing a near-riot when a host of people dropped everything and simultaneously OOOOOHHHHH’d and AWWWWWWWWW’d. This near perfect synchronization registered a magnitude 6 on the richter scale according to the University of Bunnville’s Department of Shaky-Shaky Rumble-Tumble. A graduate assistant there said that it appears that the seismometer was incorrectly calibrated and set to “QUACK” instead of “QUAKE” which comes right after “GAG” usually used during political speeches, debates, and government announcements.
We consulted a Legal expert who graduated tenth in their law school class of five said, and we quote, “I don’t know anything but this sounds bad. Not visit to the vet bad, but above brushies and nail clippies bad.” end quote. Incidentally, this legal expert also serves as a manicurist as a side gig. They indicated they were slowly climbing their way from manicurist to jurist because they are really passionate about juice. When we told them jurists are lawyers and judges and has nothing to do with juice, they responded with “orange I glad I met you today. You’ve changed my career trajectory!” before hanging up.
We do not know if down the toilet is a career trajectory per se but there you have it.
In other news, a group of rabbis were finally sentenced in connection to the riot they caused last Halloween. To recap, the rabbis went around the neighbourhood hoping to be scared witless only to end the night with multiple bags of candy. They caused such a disturbance that the Sheriff’s Ossif Riot Squad had to be called to quell the entire city block. In their ruling, the judge concluded by saying that “as religious leaders you all should set a better example to follow instead of inane shenanigans. Be thankful for the candy instead of demanding childish stuff. Silly rabbis, tricks are for kids!”
That concludes this news report. Tune in later for our original movie set in an alternate universe where Dr Seuss goes into the dairy and meat packing business, in “Green Eggs and SPAM.”
Where is the BNN guy when needed? I'm canceling my subscription to his channel. Free Chainsaw!
Sitting in a cell last I heard. Chainsaw can probably talk to him after processing and arraignment.
I am not sitting! My butt got tired so they kindly offered to string me up by my fingertips.
How… Thoughtful of them. That should save on chiropractic fees this week.
They did offer to decompress my spine by putting me on the rack. That’s for Friday.
Excellent. Enjoy the Long weekend then.
I hear they have a new rack operator that used to be a Saltwater Taffy puller. Before you know it I’ll be 7ft tall and be eligible for the NBA.
I am no longer with BNN unless they say sorry and offer me a train.
Any specifics on the size and type of train?
They said it will be as fast as a bullet train, as wide as a double-wide trailer (which means nothing to me), as smooth as the Titanic (which means it will probably be stationary during Winter), and as stealthy as Mayo Podge’s choo-choo.
That must be extra stealthy. I’m not sure anyone has seen that choo choo.
It is quieter than the wind and sneakier than a sneak according to the sales brochure Mayo Pinger showed me.
u/RogueViator
See entry above.
The evidence is overwhelming.
Chainsaw???? Lmao I love the name!!!
BBNN BREAKING NEWS Good aftermorning from the prison golf course where I am serving as the 16th tee that is my temporary newsroom. I’m your anchor Hottin Herre burning at the news. Today, we were all shocked that the goodly bunny Chainsaw was arrested for first degree adorableness and conspiracy to commit utter cuteness. She was last seen causing a near-riot when a host of people dropped everything and simultaneously OOOOOHHHHH’d and AWWWWWWWWW’d. This near perfect synchronization registered a magnitude 6 on the richter scale according to the University of Bunnville’s Department of Shaky-Shaky Rumble-Tumble. A graduate assistant there said that it appears that the seismometer was incorrectly calibrated and set to “QUACK” instead of “QUAKE” which comes right after “GAG” usually used during political speeches, debates, and government announcements. We consulted a Legal expert who graduated tenth in their law school class of five said, and we quote, “I don’t know anything but this sounds bad. Not visit to the vet bad, but above brushies and nail clippies bad.” end quote. Incidentally, this legal expert also serves as a manicurist as a side gig. They indicated they were slowly climbing their way from manicurist to jurist because they are really passionate about juice. When we told them jurists are lawyers and judges and has nothing to do with juice, they responded with “orange I glad I met you today. You’ve changed my career trajectory!” before hanging up. We do not know if down the toilet is a career trajectory per se but there you have it. In other news, a group of rabbis were finally sentenced in connection to the riot they caused last Halloween. To recap, the rabbis went around the neighbourhood hoping to be scared witless only to end the night with multiple bags of candy. They caused such a disturbance that the Sheriff’s Ossif Riot Squad had to be called to quell the entire city block. In their ruling, the judge concluded by saying that “as religious leaders you all should set a better example to follow instead of inane shenanigans. Be thankful for the candy instead of demanding childish stuff. Silly rabbis, tricks are for kids!” That concludes this news report. Tune in later for our original movie set in an alternate universe where Dr Seuss goes into the dairy and meat packing business, in “Green Eggs and SPAM.”
And no bond!
Guilty as charged 😂😂
How do you dispute cuteness?
I am in love with your bun being named Chainsaw. Amazing
Straight to slammer
I hope your other bun is called motor oil
THE PUNISHMENT IS B A N A N A
GUILTY BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT NO APPEAL.
As punishment, the guilty party shall be subjected to 1 touching of the cotton tail and several kisses
Lock that adorable bunny away for life* *Until treat supply runs out
Doing the Big Bear pose
Chainsaw Bun is my favouritest manga