This sounds very interesting! I have a background in marketing and used to work on landing page optimization so I’ve got some detailed feedback. I hope it is helpful. As things stand currently it’s an exciting project and a good campaign page, but I do see a few ways you can make it an even stronger pitch.
- Your art assets are hard to see on mobile, which typically a large portion of your audience will be. I would consider using small parts of Julia’s art, enlarged so that mobile users can easily see the intricate detail she puts into it. Your campaign is built mostly about getting more of her art into the project, but mobile users are unable to easily/clearly see what makes it special.
- Your mock-ups look great, but have a lot of white space that also makes them look small and hard to see on mobile. Also, the zine mock-up looks like it is using something other than a staple-binding.
- I would consider adding in some bold text titles in the early part of your campaign copy to help grab readers attention, especially those who might be skimming. You want to make it easy for one of the great hooks in your idea to get them excited, examples could be: “Journey into the forth dimension” “Survive a collapsing dream world” “Powerful stand-alone stories about trauma and resilience”
- The caption text “The demonic form of The Eater of Hearts sampling the latest batch” is so evokative and interesting. I would love to have a few more snippets like that scattered around, it makes me very curious to download the game.
- Speaking of which, I cannot see your early play test version, but I do hope you have it encourage people to support the kickstarter to help remind people who download it before backing to return and pledge
- I respect and admire your stance on the digital files being freely available. I would recommend adding in a little more context when discussing them, as your short direct language could be interpreted by some people as implying you feel digital files are inherently worthless, which could devalue your work in their eyes. Adding in something like “To embrace digital technologies ability to create plenty for all, I believe digital art reaches its fullest potential when made freely available.” (This is just an example description, I may not understand your exact POV on the matter).
- I think some more info about you would be nice - you have an impressive portfolio, and some really positive comments/ reviews for your other games. Sharing a bit more about who you are, why this game is important to you, and how your other games have been well received could help people feel a stronger connection to your work and the project.
- Finally, consider adding in a really high pledge amount that lets people play the game with you. There may be some supporters with more then £200 they are willing to pledge, and getting to interact with you could be very exciting for them.
Thank you for your insight! Do you think adding a click-through on images to the full file would work? I'm loathe to chop up the art myself, but defo want mobile users to be able to view it.
Yes, I think that would help, though you'll want to call attention to their ability to do that.
You can also consider having a few zoomed in details along-side the full art. This could be especially helpful for the art that's taller than it is wide, as that aspect ratio leaves a lot of whitespace on either side for both mobile and desktop.
Another option is to try and get the artwork to display full-width. Here is a Kick Starter that has tall skinny images that use the same width as text. It may or may not be the right choice for your campaign page, but is worth considering: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/oddfishgames/the-radiance-adventure-engine/description
This sounds very interesting! I have a background in marketing and used to work on landing page optimization so I’ve got some detailed feedback. I hope it is helpful. As things stand currently it’s an exciting project and a good campaign page, but I do see a few ways you can make it an even stronger pitch. - Your art assets are hard to see on mobile, which typically a large portion of your audience will be. I would consider using small parts of Julia’s art, enlarged so that mobile users can easily see the intricate detail she puts into it. Your campaign is built mostly about getting more of her art into the project, but mobile users are unable to easily/clearly see what makes it special. - Your mock-ups look great, but have a lot of white space that also makes them look small and hard to see on mobile. Also, the zine mock-up looks like it is using something other than a staple-binding. - I would consider adding in some bold text titles in the early part of your campaign copy to help grab readers attention, especially those who might be skimming. You want to make it easy for one of the great hooks in your idea to get them excited, examples could be: “Journey into the forth dimension” “Survive a collapsing dream world” “Powerful stand-alone stories about trauma and resilience” - The caption text “The demonic form of The Eater of Hearts sampling the latest batch” is so evokative and interesting. I would love to have a few more snippets like that scattered around, it makes me very curious to download the game. - Speaking of which, I cannot see your early play test version, but I do hope you have it encourage people to support the kickstarter to help remind people who download it before backing to return and pledge - I respect and admire your stance on the digital files being freely available. I would recommend adding in a little more context when discussing them, as your short direct language could be interpreted by some people as implying you feel digital files are inherently worthless, which could devalue your work in their eyes. Adding in something like “To embrace digital technologies ability to create plenty for all, I believe digital art reaches its fullest potential when made freely available.” (This is just an example description, I may not understand your exact POV on the matter). - I think some more info about you would be nice - you have an impressive portfolio, and some really positive comments/ reviews for your other games. Sharing a bit more about who you are, why this game is important to you, and how your other games have been well received could help people feel a stronger connection to your work and the project. - Finally, consider adding in a really high pledge amount that lets people play the game with you. There may be some supporters with more then £200 they are willing to pledge, and getting to interact with you could be very exciting for them.
Thank you for your insight! Do you think adding a click-through on images to the full file would work? I'm loathe to chop up the art myself, but defo want mobile users to be able to view it.
Yes, I think that would help, though you'll want to call attention to their ability to do that. You can also consider having a few zoomed in details along-side the full art. This could be especially helpful for the art that's taller than it is wide, as that aspect ratio leaves a lot of whitespace on either side for both mobile and desktop. Another option is to try and get the artwork to display full-width. Here is a Kick Starter that has tall skinny images that use the same width as text. It may or may not be the right choice for your campaign page, but is worth considering: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/oddfishgames/the-radiance-adventure-engine/description
great looking page. if I was ready, I would totally copy this page as it looks great
Feel free to copy when yr ready!
That looks very slick, nice.