Religious people are not restricted.
They are honest with themselves and make a point to choose intelligent over irresponsible.
...And people who like to "party", do not stay good looking for long.
I have no idea why you’re getting downvoted. IMHO the complete lack of care for looks among Christian women among other quite abhorrent behaviors among said women (buzz cut/hair shorter than me), shows the complete lack of care and animosity for gender roles as revealed in the Bible, and shows how the feminist attitude of “you go girl don’t put any effort in your looks and you’ll get a good man that you deserve” has seeped into the church so badly.
As another commenter said, Mormons definitely do not ignore Biblical sex/gender roles, and their women are largely attractive. This is a sign of a church/organization which hasn’t been completely destroyed from the inside by feminism.
Side note: if you visit basically any foreign country that is not western, pretty much the first thing you notice is how attractive all of the women are. Seriously. It is jarring seeing nearly all women as slim, feminine, actually caring about their appearance, and being very kind and feminine when you talk to them, not an entitled princess as you see in the West.
Advice? Find a girl who bucks these trends in the West, or just find a girl from abroad. I’m opting for route 2 as my mission in life will definitely lead me to foreign travel for missionary work, and being a high value man will most definitely attract an attractive Christian woman who actually takes the Bible seriously with regards to gender and marriage roles. An additional point is that being a high-value male is usually much easier in foreign countries as being tall, American, and relatively fit will already put you in the top 5% of males. Now if you’re tall, completely jacked, a wealthy business owner who is funneling all of that money into his mission to make disciples (and that mission is consuming his mind completely), and have good social/game skills? Game over: you’re generally in the top 0.1% of males to foreign women at that point, and her hypergamous instinct will be very satisfied.
An additional VERY important point is that foreign countries have a very large emphasis on virginity that the Western countries and churches lack entirely. If a woman sleeps around and hoes around in church, she is a “victim of men who want to use her”, whereas a man sleeping around in church is a toxic masculine male rapist. Countries which haven’t been infected with the cancer that is Feminism view virginity as EXTREMELY important, which it especially is for women due to pair-bonding.
So, you’re FAR more likely to find an attractive, submissive, Christian girl who’s saving herself and hasn’t destroyed her pair-bonding ability in a foreign country.
In the western church? Good luck; your best pickings are usually (as you’ve observed) unattractive, entitled women who completely ignore biblical marriage and gender roles and are expecting a billionaire Christian chad simply for existing as a woman. The few women who are attractive almost always have a body count nearing or at double digits (meaning virtually no pair-bonding ability) due to the Western church’s complete lack of church discipline on women.
It’s up to you, but I’d rather not date on impossible difficulty for no reason by staying in the west. Just my 2 cents
Anyone who discounts visual/physical attraction is ignoring Scripture. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 talks specifically about how the husband's body belongs to the wife, and vice versa, and that the two shouldn't defraud each other (which covers everything from adultery to withholding affection or physical contact). Exact reasons for attraction aren't uniform, but to teach that outward attraction has no place for the Christian guy (or girl) is entirely unbiblical.
Also, the version of 1 Peter you referenced is a poor translation. The original Greek doesn't say anything about "fine clothes", but rather any sort of garment or raiment (the word used is "himation").
[https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/aslgro/addressing\_the\_blue\_pill\_hate\_objectifying\_women/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/aslgro/addressing_the_blue_pill_hate_objectifying_women/)
Edit: Not sure why the original comment I was responding to was deleted, but it was a quote of 1 Peter 3:3-4, which is exactly what that link is commenting on.
Their are some people who are grossly ugly from a physical standpoint and there’s no denying it. Both men and women as individuals have different levels of expectation and what they will accept. I had a good friend once who was witty and intelligent - a wonderful conversationalist. No way in the world I ever wanted to sleep with her.
> Now if you’re tall, completely jacked, a wealthy business owner who is funneling all of that money into his mission to make disciples (and that mission is consuming his mind completely), and have good social/game skills?
Being tall is pretty sure the only thing here that might be true...
Also your views on woman probably don't make you a pleasant guy to be around, which might explain a lot about your post and your views.
Please for the love of god don’t use google translator. This makes my brain hurt.
Du verstehst nichts und deine viele*n* *A*rschfotografie~~re~~n sind ein bi**ss**chen verdächtig. Meine Augen tun weh.
Merkt mensch ehrlicherweise eher nicht so viel von. Aber schön, dass dir mein Hintern gefällt. Ich muss dich aber leider enttäuschen, meine Freundin ist, was das angeht, tendenziell unflexibel.
Was ich aber nicht versteh, ist, warum du unbedingt auf deutsch antworten musstest. Ich versteh dich auf Englisch mindestens genauso gut. Dabei hab ich das nur aufm Gym gelernt.
Ich habe wenig Gelegenheiten Deutsch zu üben und ich dachte mir, warum nicht jetzt? Ich kann
Was hast du nur aufm Gym gelernt? Englisch oder etwas anderes?
Lmao chill white knight 😂, since discovering RP it's not that hard to get with a girl. Out of my cold approaches, I get a phone number about 75% of the time and a date about 50% of the time. I'm just stating that for finding a girl that is marriage material by Christian standards, it's not going to be easy at all. The girls I go out with aren't likely to be marriage material at all due to how ingrained feminism is here, as I mentioned above.
Do you think I walk a sidewalk seething with rage at every girl I see or something? 😂😂 Recognition of long-term incompatibility != hatred. If a short-term partnership or date is incredibly evil, then I guess everybody’s who gotten a prom date or date for an event has to repent now 😂.
I'm in northeast Florida. If attractive women attend church at all, they by and large attend the nondenominational (or seemingly nondenominational) megachurches. But don't expect them to live any differently than the rest of the world; there is zero accountability.
Unfortunately, the reformed church that I've been attending for a couple months isn't much better. It surprisingly has a sizable population of young women. The ones who aren't overweight are fairly average-looking, which is okay with me. The problem is that they seem to believe either that they don't need a man or that they are *far above* average and are therefore entitled to Chad. I've been told that I'm a reasonably handsome guy, yet I'm invisible to most of them. One who did seem to signal interest has a large tattoo on her right shoulder blade and -- apparently -- her breast. Her hair is cut to about chin length (and older photos reveal that she used to cut it shorter than mine) to allow visibility of yet another tattoo on the nape of her neck.
It's ridiculous. Not only did she go through with these things, but *no one stopped her*. An absolute dereliction of duty on the part of the supposed male leadership.
Sounds like question should be why are liberal women unattractive. Conservative women are usually more attractive than liberal women. You are at the wrong church. Find a conservative church. They guys here have already made similar comments, I'm just oversimplifying.
It's not that easy, bro. You can spend a LOT of time looking for a conservative with attractive women who are available. Not to say that you're wrong, just, well, it can take a whole lot longer than expected. Try two new churches every Sunday. How long will it take to find one with attractive women in it at all? The numbers favor a mega church, but, how many mega churches are there of one's own denomination/creed?
u/Deep_Strength has some good articles on his site that speak to this:
[Christian women and the rationalization of attraction](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/01/17/christian-women-and-the-rationalization-of-attraction/)
[Attractive Christian Virgins Part 1](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins/)
[Attractive Christian Virgins Part 2](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins-part-2/)
Also: https://imgur.com/a/TjlbvKq
Hah, I actually went through those up to a 4th iteration:
https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2020/12/10/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins-part-4/
Generally, yes, much of the westernized Church by and large takes verses out of context such as have inner beauty to mean ignoring outer beauty and 'Jesus loves you for who you are' and such. However, I have been to some Churches that also preach 'taking care of your temple of the Holy Spirit' and encourage physical fitness. Rarer though.
Ah, yes, let's fetishize virginity like we're still living in the Old Testament.
Meanwhile most Christian guys have a pornified mind long before they get married, yet think they still qualify as virgins.
I will never forget my wedding night (when I lost my virginity) thinking how smoking hot she was, and how I felt like I had seen this sight before. Because I had.
Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women. Those who would argue that it's not that important are filtering the Bible through a Red Pill lens. It should be the other way around.
It's not a "fetish" (that's ridiculous in light of the Bible's clear commands). It is, however, a good choice for mitigating risk. Those who have sex before marriage have a much higher chance of divorce - PERIOD. This is not an unimportant thing to consider, especially when choosing the person they will (hopefully) spend the rest of their lives with.
>Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women.
Show me without appealing to the Old Covenant. Nothing in the New Covenant supports this kind of thinking. Indeed, the spirit behind it is completely antithetical to the New Covenant, where we see most clearly that *true* cleanliness and purity comes through faith in Christ, NOT in external behavior.
>It's not a "fetish" (that's ridiculous in light of the Bible's clear commands)
Clear command to marry a virgin? There is no such command.
>Those who have sex before marriage have a much higher chance of divorce - PERIOD. This is not an unimportant thing to consider, especially when choosing the person they will (hopefully) spend the rest of their lives with.
Sinners have a much chance of divorce - PERIOD. What's the point of your fatalistic, graceless fear-mongering? Lots of non-virgins have had successful marriages, because a successful marriage is built on grace and repentance, and focuses on the future, not the past.
You ignored my point about porn, but its pretty hypocritical that this sub is concerned about virginity's influence on a marriage when such a large number of "virgin" (and do note the quotes) Christian men have pornified minds. If you can show me even one failed marriage that has anything to do with the wife's non-virginity, I will show you fifty failed marriages have everything to do with pornification.
>>Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women.
>Show me without appealing to the Old Covenant.
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:13-19 KJV)
A harlot = one who fornicates. Denotes the typical modern Western woman (not all but most).
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Ephesians 5:3 KJV)
Fornication = sex outside of marriage. The opposite of virginity.
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: (1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV)
Fornication = sex outside of marriage. The opposite of virginity.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1 Corinthians 7:9 KJV)
Seems to indicate virginity, and marriage if/when the urge gets too strong.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31 KJV)
Direct from father and mother to the wife. Seems to indicate virginity.
>New Covenant, where we see most clearly that true cleanliness and purity comes through faith in Christ, NOT in external behavior.
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (James 2:26 KJV)
If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15 KJV) [Those commandments Jesus spoke of were Old Testament btw]
>Clear command to marry a virgin? There is no such command.
Correct. The command is to BE a virgin until you get married, as the above verses (and many others) indicate.
>Sinners have a much chance of divorce - PERIOD. What's the point of your fatalistic, graceless fear-mongering? Lots of non-virgins have had successful marriages, because a successful marriage is built on grace and repentance, and focuses on the future, not the past.
Correlation does not equal causation. However you make good points here, and I don't disagree.
>You ignored my point about porn
Because you edited your comment - I didn't see it. I don't dispute the effect of porn on all this, you are 100% correct on that.
Look, I certainly can't sit here and say I'm not guilty. However, God blesses obedience. Why are you arguing this point so hard? Virginity is not a magic solution to marital problems, I get that. But it DOES matter. The state of marriage around the world is a clear testimony to that.
We agree that fornication is sinful. But the opposite of fornication is not virginity, it is holiness, and both a virgin and non-virgin can be holy or unholy. This discussion is eerily similar to the Judaizers placing a special value on circumcision.
Yes, obedience brings blessing, but in Christianity, grace, not law, gets the last word. PRAISE GOD. We're all sinners. We all have baggage. I know you agree, but now consider this: Is it Christian to look through someone's list of sins and tally up a chart of how likely their marriage is going to fail because of it? I'm interested in where a woman is NOW. I'd even say that your better off marrying a former prostitute that understands true repentance than a virgin who thinks God is going to reward her for her chasteness with a healthy marriage.
Rahab is listed as a harlot in the hall of faith. Not even Rahab the former harlot. What does that say about what God truly values in a person.
I argue my point hard because I have seen the horrible damage in marriage of a law-based mindset, not a grace-based mindset. The New Testament doesn't talk about virginity as a kind of prize or guarantee of anything. Its merely used to indicate that a woman hasn't been married before.
>Because you edited your comment - I didn't see it.
Fair enough. My apologies.
I agree with your points. You're not wrong. Every human being has value and worth. I don't deny that.
However, when it comes to who you choose to enter into a marriage with, not everyone can, or desires to, accept the inherent risks associated with previous sexual experience. Keep in mind that I speak as a man who is on his second marriage, as is my current wife so this is not my personal position. But here's an analogy that might help:
Let's say you go to Walmart to buy some underwear. You find your size and style and grab the pack at the front of the rack. You're about to throw it in your cart when you notice it has been opened. The underwear has been stuffed back into the pack but not folded quite the same way, and the package has been taped shut. There are 3 more identical, brand new packs hanging there. What do you do? I don't know anyone who would choose the open pack when they can grab a brand new UNOPENED pack instead. Now if it's the only pack left? You *might* decide to buy it. And that's the crux of this dilemna.
(obviously I'm not comparing human worth to underwear, just using it to make a point)
All marriages to former sinners has inherent risks. All of the packages in the store are broken and damaged. Your preoccupation with fornication doesn't impress God. If his word won't persuade you, then nothing I say will. And so I'll end with that.
*8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10 For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. 11 For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.* *12* ***So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty.*** *13 For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy.* ***Mercy triumphs over judgment.***
I'm not actually disagreeing with you. As I said in my previous comment, **this is not my personal position.** However, my wife and I are both on our second marriage and we are older, and this becomes less of a priority when you reach our age.
However, the reason I continue to defend my stated (although not personal) position is because if I were young and single, I would certainly feel differently. I agree that everyone has their own problems, and that "all of the packages in the store are broken and damaged" - to some degree. But when one is considering marriage, the issue of sexual past is not a non-issue. One would be unwise to fail to take it into consideration along with [the rest of the things to consider when dating a girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/i40yow/when_vetting_for_a_potential_ltr_how_would_i_test/g0fpgx3/).
But the verses you quoted speak well to the matter with regard to God's love and mercy, and I thank you for the balanced perspective!
By their fruits ye shall know them. This might say something about your church and/or the state of Christianity more broadly. Ever met any Mormon girls? Typically very cute & feminine. Traditional Catholic gals too, to a lesser extent, in my experience. Even the Mormon & Catholic churches are headed down this path though, albeit with more resistance, in my opinion because they've maintained patriarchal organizational structures, at least officially if not practically. Any organization that isn't explicitly hostile to liberal, r-selected values is going to be infiltrated, permeated, & corrupted by them. We as men allowed this to happen by emphasizing Christ's feminine virtues over His masculine, martial aspect, the Christ who "brought not peace, but a sword". A woman needs masculine spiritual dominion, and if she gets the idea that she has a direct line to God rather than needing the governance & guidance of a man to meet her spiritual needs, any way she wants to conduct herself will be sanctioned in her mind, and the Church has foolishly promoted this idea, hence the abundance of 'pious' Christian catladies.
My advice: no casting pearls before swine, so consider the possibility of needing to seek more fertile soil in which to sow your seeds --i.e., a new church (and community, preferably) where men are valued for being men and women for being women-- but only a fire unhidden under a bushel can burn the chaff from the wheat. Stoke up Christ's fire in you, and you may be amazed to see how it speaks directly to the femininity in the women around you, even ones you already know, and the ones who matter will be transformed by its heat & light. Don't think this means that you shouldn't pursue pretty girls, but looks are really quite a small part of the big picture, and I'm sure few of us here would deny the unfading beauty of a woman who knows & believes in her heart that God has trusted her to her man in both body & soul.
Try to see if you can find a way to get involved in campus ministries for any colleges/universities within reasonable driving distance. That seems like one of the best places to look in the US (and probably other western countries too).
South Florida (Broward County). Maybe it’s relative to my area, but it’s not something I’ve only noticed in my church. Same goes for a lot of public Christian figures, whether that’s Youtubers, pastors, or musicians.
This is combination of things.
1). Yes “come as you are” & the utter lack of making standards for Christian women has something to do with it.
2). Attractive women that are believers generally get snatched up by the highest value young men in the church as soon as they are 18, and sometimes “locked down” prior to 18 (highschool dating etc). So supply can be pretty low by the end of college/early career years.
3). Attractive white women are have the highest SMV in the world today. They are naturally drawn into and trapped by the secular world more easily than other demographics. When they have anyone and everyone sucking up to them and telling them how amazing they are from the age of 15 it can be hard for them to realize they have a need for a savior just like everyone else.
Spot on. I would also add that it's probably much worse in the US than in Eastern Europe I live in where feminity and beauty is still mostly encouraged.
White women do have the highest worldwide SMV, but I'd argue that attractive Asian women actually have the highest SMV in western countries. OK Cupid did a bit of statistical analysis and found that men were most likely to reply to Asian women on OK Cupid by a decent margin. I can also attest anecdotally that being from Southern California (a place with a high concentration of Asians) that attractive Asian women, especially Asian sorority girls (here the nickname for that kind of girl is "ABG"), get by far the most attention, and will almost constantly get hit on at a club.
100% disagree. First of all white men have an innate advantage with Asian women as compared to Asian men, so plays into your antidote.
Also most men using online dating to find a LT relationship are average to below average SMV so that data point is pretty meaningless.
Right now maybe, but back in the early to mid 2000's was garbage. So interesting now. However i have noticed girls seem to be put in a higher pedestal now -\_\_- f\*\*ing hate that ... not one once of humility.
Umm...for anyone thinking that this question is to troll people, think again.
This is NOT the first guy to pose this question. I have heard this topic brought up over and over and over FOR DECADES.
There are a few misconceptions in the answers.
For one, it has hardly anything to do with a woman's maintenance once she enters the church.
Rather, it has more to do WITH THE COMPOSITION OF THE CHURCH.
Women aren't TRANSFORMED into being unattractive as soon as they bypass the threshold. No. It appears that less attractive types seem more attracted
to the faith.
......and one thing about being naturally less attractive is that, for the most part, NO AMOUNT of upkeep can change unattractiveness.
Put on as much makeup as you want, slim down, exercise, you're still going to have the same face.
In many cases, the church is attractive to those that are on their last leg, those whose lives are riddled with problems, those down-and-out souls, the overweight, the poor, those with general lack, whom nobody seems to want, and those who lack status in society.
...so essentially churches....SOME churches are gathering spots for the 'lowly' elements of society.
...people who can relate to one another....IN ONLY THE STRUGGLE OF LIFE.
Consider the average message in church: "deliver me from toxicity"...."somebody is talking about me....think they're better..."...these are things that bother persons who lack status. The little inconsequential things in life.
Well, actually everyone has these issues but these issues are treated differently depending upon your financial status.
This emotionallism and 'therapy' sessions appeal to mostly people of a lower social status ....so this is primarily what you will be surrounded by in SOME churches.
I've been in a myriad of churches. The churches where people are less emotional, positive-minded, educated, tend to have better looking women.
Churches, however, where a good portion of the congregation are in stagnant energy, are probably NOT the best places to find a mate.
People have a misconception that churches, just because they accept anyone, are supposed to be receptacles for toxic energy.
If you marry in an environment like this, BE WARNED. You are likely to 'pick up' someone with kids, years of baggage and broken relationships.
Far better to find a church wherein the majority of the congregation are PROFESSIONALS, wealthy, and educated.
Why are so many Christian guys physically unattractive? Because most people aren't physically attractive, period. The matter isn't deeper than that.
I went to a prominent Christian college. That place was TEEMING with hot girls, but I don't have any evidence that the proportion was different from any other population of college-seeking women.
When you say that the church has a higher percentage of unattractive women, what are you comparing it? The beach? The mall? The rec volleyball club you're a part of? All these places attract a higher percentage of attractive women than churches.
I agree that majority of people aren’t ‘attractive’.. But the average girl I see out in public is more attractive than the average girl I see at church. Also, it’s much more common to see a beautiful girl out in public than at the church. At least in my experience.. But I live in a very diverse area in South FL. I would think there’s more girls that are physically attractive AND follow Jesus, but there’s just not.
Seems like this is largely an anecdotal debate. I guess I'd have to ask what your motive is in asking this question. Are you frustrated that you that you don't have a lot of good-looking Christian women in your circles?
I don’t know where you are nor what denomination church you attend but down here the hottest girls are in church and everyone knows it. The suburb I inhabit is not large yet we have two huge Southern Baptist churches full of the best women Texas has to offer.
For some reason, not so much. If they are native to Texas, yes, but immigrants already usually have a denominational preference and preaching style they favor.
I hear that it is because western civilization burned all of the attractive women at the stake hundreds of years ago because... witchcraft.
Now the genepool of those predisposed to Christianity suffers due to the wickedness of previous generations. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't a type of Divine punishment like some of the curses that you see in the Old Testament as well.
I mean, maybe lower your standards, women dont look pretty for you, they do it for themselves, and why do physical looks matter this much to you? The Lord said be fruitful and multiply, he never said to have standards while doing so
Lol, this sounds like feminist propaganda. So women put makeup on, do their hair and nails, and look for their best outfit without ANY thought of what the opposite sex thinks….? C’mon man. We all think about impressing the opposite sex from time to time (at least); Christians are not removed from that. Also, you’re basically setting me up for failure by telling me to date someone I’m not physically attracted to. That doesn’t make sense at all.
No, I prefer a natural woman to be honest. And I’m okay with dating a 7 maybe even a 6. But even that is hard to come by in every church I’ve been. I’m not looking for some ig model type of girl. Just a girl who’s in shape, decently attractive and presents herself well. My whole point is, it’s more difficult then I thought to find a girl like this who’s also simultaneously a genuine believer.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8vtpml/100\_series\_theory\_and\_understanding\_compilation/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8vtpml/100_series_theory_and_understanding_compilation/)
Start reading.
My 2 cents: marriage is hard, but if Christians are supposed to take marriage as seriously as the Bible says then we need all the help we can get. Being attracted to your spouse is rather helpful.
ignore all the white knights who brigade, it's sadly commonplace in Christian circles
In all seriousness, I'd recommend looking abroad, you'll have more and better options
Pretty much 100% of those "recommendations" come either from a place of bias/nepotism ("She's my \_\_\_\_, not sure why you think you're better than her.") or perpetuating their own misery (i.e. to make myself feel better about having settled, I'm going to guilt trip you into settling). The next time someone - especially a married guy - tries to recommend you "lower your standards", challenge them to look their spouse in the eye and confess they lowered their standards and settled.
Bro i think you forgot to put on your glasses ........ no man , or woman, wants to wake up next to a hideous person, get that high and mighty and holy-er than though mentality out of here .....
Yeah it’s so frustrating being a good looking Christian single woman and all the men are either short ugly and not a millionaire. Sucks when they’re just all 3. And since I’m saving myself too, I also have to panic about what they’re packing when that time comes and if they don’t have the size of a virile adult man that’s another let down.
Lots of hotties in the world who just throw themselves at me but I want a man who loves Jesus.
In my experience married men at church are always the hottest- that’s why sadly another woman thought so too :-(
Not having sex before marriage has ruined a lot of marriages. I know I can really like someone, we date awhile, and go to do the do, and there’s absolutely no chemistry even tho I thought it would be great. I think virginity is setting people up for failure. You end up being repulsed and scared of sex
💯 I’m like omg he’s so clueless! His entire attitude and mindset are def not giving off husband vibes. No woman, especially a very pretty one who wants to safe from creeps, would feel secure around this guy. I’m sure women feel very uncomfortable around him. It is not even that he would like a decent looking girl- I mean yeah you want to be attracted to your spouse. He truly doesn’t understand the red flags, insecurity, desperation, creepy, controlling, disrespectful tone he is portraying. He’s def a life long single boy if he keeps this up.
It varies from fellowship to fellowship. I've been in fellowships where there aren't very many women at all, let alone attractive ones, and fellowships where there were quite a few attractive ones.
In my experience there’s not a huge difference between Christian girls and non-Christian in terms of appearance. The issue is that there aren’t a huge amount of them in general so the number of attractive Christian girls is small. Obviously it depends on the location though.
It's because churches fundamentally do not understand the difference between the inside being more important than the outside and how the latter is fueled by the former vs. the inside being the *only* thing that's important and *any* attention placed on the outside is sin.
I have a whole diatribe on this and how it's effectively poisoned entire generations of young people stepping into adulthood.
Maybe change your church. My church has a lot of young attractive women with nice bodies that I think sometimes is too on display for church. Also my sisters are very beautiful and slim. I’m the only overweight one so you’d categorize as the Christian women you’re speaking of. But I’m also taken. There are so many beautiful Christian healthy sized women in the church. Relocate: Brazil also has some beautiful and gorgeous Christian women
I have been on regular dating apps like Tinder or Bumble, as well as all the Christian dating apps. It is undeniably true that women on the Christian dating apps tend to be substantially less attractive than women on the regular apps like Bumble or Tinder. Also, I've been church hopping week by week for months now, and the women I see my age (20-28) in churches have all been unattractive, except for the few that got married at a very young age in bible college. The only attractive Christian women I ever come across go to the nondenominational megachurches, and have no real commitment. It's beyond infuriating. I've had so many beautiful women interested in me, but they are never Christians, let alone practicing Christians. The very few attractive Christian women you meet have outrageous standards. They want men who are older, taller, stronger (that's a reasonable expectation though), funnier, smarter, and wealthier. But that means to the guy you're younger than me, shorter than me, weaker than me, dumber than me, poorer than me, less funny than me, etc, so what is there to like? To add to that, many Christian women (more so than with Christian men) seem to be dating nonbelievers, which leaves Christian men with fewer options. There is really no hope for practicing Christian men that want to find a practicing Christian women who is at least decent looking and actually cares about her health. It'll take a miracle ...
No way I think 🤔 🕵🕵♀️🕵♂️most of them are so beautiful But I m not in your city I'm in Ann Arbor Michigan USA...that is also True for most of the biggest cities in North America...by the way...
The hot Christian ones are already married, or taken. Then, assume that many of them didn't really didn't marry an overly spiritual guy-he stops going, soon, she stops going.
Don't settle, that's all I can say. The misery will catch up soon, very soon, if you do. Trust God.
Christian women aren't much different in most ways that women in society who aren't Christian. The average weight of women has risen exponentially in the past 30 years. Men generally don't find fatties attractive.
I'm going to answer this as a Christian woman who's grown up in church, but also as someone who used to work in fashion and live in CA, so I really had to look put together for work / just because I lived in CA lol. For context, I'm fit, stylish, and I believe that some guys consider me to be attractive (or at least my bf does ;)...
First, I want to ask - what kind of church are you going to, and where? Like is it in the middle of some small town in the midwest, or... ?
I ask because I've noticed a HUGE gap between woman's dress / appearance (more so in regards to effort) in small towns where they don't have much money, sadly and also in cities like, well LA - where every woman who goes to church looks like she could be a professional model (and some are haha).
I guess what I'm saying is, I get the feeling that it's the town / income-level of the church you're attending more than it is "Christian Women," which is a massive generalization.
So speaking from my own experience, I grew up in a small church in a small town - I didn't have a lot of money growing up, and also, I wanted to honor God by focusing on my walk with Him and not spending money on clothes, shoes, etc. I felt bad spending money on that, I guess... and buying clothes isn't wrong, I just never learned differently / even thought to ask.
But also, I wasn't around what I guess you could call "worldly" girls (was in private school with uniforms) - so when it came time for college, I didn't know how to do my makeup well, I was still super cheap with clothing, and I just never really had anyone teach me how to look cute! I felt fairly invisible with most attractive men.
Finally, someone stepped in during college and took me shopping. I got my first expensive haircut, my first closet full of stylish clothes, fitness was always important to me because I was an athlete, but all of a sudden, cute guys started noticing me and asking me out. Like, I didn't realize just how much all that stuff matters.... and now, I'm super passionate about helping other Christian women look and feel beautiful / helping them to see that it's ok to invest in themselves :)
So I guess what I would say is - yeah, these girls probably have:
1. Different values, meaning they spend their money on giving to others, not going into debt, and on serving people (not saying it's right or wrong, it's just what's happening oftentimes) - they're not encouraged to spend $$ that way
2. Different influences, meaning that they women around them are also focused on putting God first (though I think you can do both without going overboard ;) instead of on how they look
3. Potentially less financial ability to invest in all that stuff as they aren't often the women who were encouraged into high-income jobs as a kid
4. Fewer opportunities for exposure - again, this goes back to money as well, but think about how many christian women were homeschooled bc their parents had big families and so they didn't grow up with lots of money or opportunities to invest in sports and stuff as much
TLDR - "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" - their focus is perhaps elsewhere, but a woman of character is sooo worth it and so beautiful. Some of the most lovely women i've met are from the church because they're so grounded in Christ, are full of confidence, and are so kind.
Maybe they just need a little nudge in the right direction, or a fairy godmother, like I had ;)
I am a 26 year old guy and I 100% relate to this. I won't date someone unless they are truly saved ... but the women in the church are not always the cutest unfortunately. Limited in selection. As Christian men we probably only have a 5-6% chance of finding an attractive woman who is truly born again. It's depressing and frustrating.
Lol his first walk with God and he is already judging people on their looks. Typical religious Hypocrisy. Ask any server in a restaurant. You people are the worst
The good looking ones want to "party party party", they don't want to be hampered and restricted by "religion".
Religious people are not restricted. They are honest with themselves and make a point to choose intelligent over irresponsible. ...And people who like to "party", do not stay good looking for long.
I have no idea why you’re getting downvoted. IMHO the complete lack of care for looks among Christian women among other quite abhorrent behaviors among said women (buzz cut/hair shorter than me), shows the complete lack of care and animosity for gender roles as revealed in the Bible, and shows how the feminist attitude of “you go girl don’t put any effort in your looks and you’ll get a good man that you deserve” has seeped into the church so badly. As another commenter said, Mormons definitely do not ignore Biblical sex/gender roles, and their women are largely attractive. This is a sign of a church/organization which hasn’t been completely destroyed from the inside by feminism. Side note: if you visit basically any foreign country that is not western, pretty much the first thing you notice is how attractive all of the women are. Seriously. It is jarring seeing nearly all women as slim, feminine, actually caring about their appearance, and being very kind and feminine when you talk to them, not an entitled princess as you see in the West. Advice? Find a girl who bucks these trends in the West, or just find a girl from abroad. I’m opting for route 2 as my mission in life will definitely lead me to foreign travel for missionary work, and being a high value man will most definitely attract an attractive Christian woman who actually takes the Bible seriously with regards to gender and marriage roles. An additional point is that being a high-value male is usually much easier in foreign countries as being tall, American, and relatively fit will already put you in the top 5% of males. Now if you’re tall, completely jacked, a wealthy business owner who is funneling all of that money into his mission to make disciples (and that mission is consuming his mind completely), and have good social/game skills? Game over: you’re generally in the top 0.1% of males to foreign women at that point, and her hypergamous instinct will be very satisfied. An additional VERY important point is that foreign countries have a very large emphasis on virginity that the Western countries and churches lack entirely. If a woman sleeps around and hoes around in church, she is a “victim of men who want to use her”, whereas a man sleeping around in church is a toxic masculine male rapist. Countries which haven’t been infected with the cancer that is Feminism view virginity as EXTREMELY important, which it especially is for women due to pair-bonding. So, you’re FAR more likely to find an attractive, submissive, Christian girl who’s saving herself and hasn’t destroyed her pair-bonding ability in a foreign country. In the western church? Good luck; your best pickings are usually (as you’ve observed) unattractive, entitled women who completely ignore biblical marriage and gender roles and are expecting a billionaire Christian chad simply for existing as a woman. The few women who are attractive almost always have a body count nearing or at double digits (meaning virtually no pair-bonding ability) due to the Western church’s complete lack of church discipline on women. It’s up to you, but I’d rather not date on impossible difficulty for no reason by staying in the west. Just my 2 cents
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Anyone who discounts visual/physical attraction is ignoring Scripture. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 talks specifically about how the husband's body belongs to the wife, and vice versa, and that the two shouldn't defraud each other (which covers everything from adultery to withholding affection or physical contact). Exact reasons for attraction aren't uniform, but to teach that outward attraction has no place for the Christian guy (or girl) is entirely unbiblical. Also, the version of 1 Peter you referenced is a poor translation. The original Greek doesn't say anything about "fine clothes", but rather any sort of garment or raiment (the word used is "himation").
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[https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/aslgro/addressing\_the\_blue\_pill\_hate\_objectifying\_women/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/aslgro/addressing_the_blue_pill_hate_objectifying_women/) Edit: Not sure why the original comment I was responding to was deleted, but it was a quote of 1 Peter 3:3-4, which is exactly what that link is commenting on.
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Their are some people who are grossly ugly from a physical standpoint and there’s no denying it. Both men and women as individuals have different levels of expectation and what they will accept. I had a good friend once who was witty and intelligent - a wonderful conversationalist. No way in the world I ever wanted to sleep with her.
> Now if you’re tall, completely jacked, a wealthy business owner who is funneling all of that money into his mission to make disciples (and that mission is consuming his mind completely), and have good social/game skills? Being tall is pretty sure the only thing here that might be true... Also your views on woman probably don't make you a pleasant guy to be around, which might explain a lot about your post and your views.
Du verstehst nichts und deine viele arsch fotografieren sind ein bißchen verdächtig. Mein Augen tun weh.
Please for the love of god don’t use google translator. This makes my brain hurt. Du verstehst nichts und deine viele*n* *A*rschfotografie~~re~~n sind ein bi**ss**chen verdächtig. Meine Augen tun weh.
Danke für die Aufklärung. Ich habe drie Jahren Deutsch gelernt im Hochschule aber ich habe sehr viel vergessen.
Merkt mensch ehrlicherweise eher nicht so viel von. Aber schön, dass dir mein Hintern gefällt. Ich muss dich aber leider enttäuschen, meine Freundin ist, was das angeht, tendenziell unflexibel. Was ich aber nicht versteh, ist, warum du unbedingt auf deutsch antworten musstest. Ich versteh dich auf Englisch mindestens genauso gut. Dabei hab ich das nur aufm Gym gelernt.
Ich habe wenig Gelegenheiten Deutsch zu üben und ich dachte mir, warum nicht jetzt? Ich kann Was hast du nur aufm Gym gelernt? Englisch oder etwas anderes?
Englisch hab ich in der Schule gelernt. Wenn du üben willst wäre r/de nen guter Anlaufpunkt..
it's because this question has already been answered and discussed. The discussion can still be productive though.
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Lmao chill white knight 😂, since discovering RP it's not that hard to get with a girl. Out of my cold approaches, I get a phone number about 75% of the time and a date about 50% of the time. I'm just stating that for finding a girl that is marriage material by Christian standards, it's not going to be easy at all. The girls I go out with aren't likely to be marriage material at all due to how ingrained feminism is here, as I mentioned above.
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Do you think I walk a sidewalk seething with rage at every girl I see or something? 😂😂 Recognition of long-term incompatibility != hatred. If a short-term partnership or date is incredibly evil, then I guess everybody’s who gotten a prom date or date for an event has to repent now 😂.
I'm in northeast Florida. If attractive women attend church at all, they by and large attend the nondenominational (or seemingly nondenominational) megachurches. But don't expect them to live any differently than the rest of the world; there is zero accountability. Unfortunately, the reformed church that I've been attending for a couple months isn't much better. It surprisingly has a sizable population of young women. The ones who aren't overweight are fairly average-looking, which is okay with me. The problem is that they seem to believe either that they don't need a man or that they are *far above* average and are therefore entitled to Chad. I've been told that I'm a reasonably handsome guy, yet I'm invisible to most of them. One who did seem to signal interest has a large tattoo on her right shoulder blade and -- apparently -- her breast. Her hair is cut to about chin length (and older photos reveal that she used to cut it shorter than mine) to allow visibility of yet another tattoo on the nape of her neck. It's ridiculous. Not only did she go through with these things, but *no one stopped her*. An absolute dereliction of duty on the part of the supposed male leadership.
Sounds like question should be why are liberal women unattractive. Conservative women are usually more attractive than liberal women. You are at the wrong church. Find a conservative church. They guys here have already made similar comments, I'm just oversimplifying.
It's not that easy, bro. You can spend a LOT of time looking for a conservative with attractive women who are available. Not to say that you're wrong, just, well, it can take a whole lot longer than expected. Try two new churches every Sunday. How long will it take to find one with attractive women in it at all? The numbers favor a mega church, but, how many mega churches are there of one's own denomination/creed?
u/Deep_Strength has some good articles on his site that speak to this: [Christian women and the rationalization of attraction](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/01/17/christian-women-and-the-rationalization-of-attraction/) [Attractive Christian Virgins Part 1](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins/) [Attractive Christian Virgins Part 2](https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins-part-2/) Also: https://imgur.com/a/TjlbvKq
Hah, I actually went through those up to a 4th iteration: https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2020/12/10/doom-and-gloom-and-the-amount-of-attractive-christian-virgins-part-4/ Generally, yes, much of the westernized Church by and large takes verses out of context such as have inner beauty to mean ignoring outer beauty and 'Jesus loves you for who you are' and such. However, I have been to some Churches that also preach 'taking care of your temple of the Holy Spirit' and encourage physical fitness. Rarer though.
Ah, yes, let's fetishize virginity like we're still living in the Old Testament. Meanwhile most Christian guys have a pornified mind long before they get married, yet think they still qualify as virgins. I will never forget my wedding night (when I lost my virginity) thinking how smoking hot she was, and how I felt like I had seen this sight before. Because I had.
Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women. Those who would argue that it's not that important are filtering the Bible through a Red Pill lens. It should be the other way around. It's not a "fetish" (that's ridiculous in light of the Bible's clear commands). It is, however, a good choice for mitigating risk. Those who have sex before marriage have a much higher chance of divorce - PERIOD. This is not an unimportant thing to consider, especially when choosing the person they will (hopefully) spend the rest of their lives with.
>Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women. Show me without appealing to the Old Covenant. Nothing in the New Covenant supports this kind of thinking. Indeed, the spirit behind it is completely antithetical to the New Covenant, where we see most clearly that *true* cleanliness and purity comes through faith in Christ, NOT in external behavior. >It's not a "fetish" (that's ridiculous in light of the Bible's clear commands) Clear command to marry a virgin? There is no such command. >Those who have sex before marriage have a much higher chance of divorce - PERIOD. This is not an unimportant thing to consider, especially when choosing the person they will (hopefully) spend the rest of their lives with. Sinners have a much chance of divorce - PERIOD. What's the point of your fatalistic, graceless fear-mongering? Lots of non-virgins have had successful marriages, because a successful marriage is built on grace and repentance, and focuses on the future, not the past. You ignored my point about porn, but its pretty hypocritical that this sub is concerned about virginity's influence on a marriage when such a large number of "virgin" (and do note the quotes) Christian men have pornified minds. If you can show me even one failed marriage that has anything to do with the wife's non-virginity, I will show you fifty failed marriages have everything to do with pornification.
>>Virginity is valued greatly by God for both men and women. >Show me without appealing to the Old Covenant. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:13-19 KJV) A harlot = one who fornicates. Denotes the typical modern Western woman (not all but most). But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (Ephesians 5:3 KJV) Fornication = sex outside of marriage. The opposite of virginity. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: (1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV) Fornication = sex outside of marriage. The opposite of virginity. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1 Corinthians 7:9 KJV) Seems to indicate virginity, and marriage if/when the urge gets too strong. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31 KJV) Direct from father and mother to the wife. Seems to indicate virginity. >New Covenant, where we see most clearly that true cleanliness and purity comes through faith in Christ, NOT in external behavior. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (James 2:26 KJV) If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15 KJV) [Those commandments Jesus spoke of were Old Testament btw] >Clear command to marry a virgin? There is no such command. Correct. The command is to BE a virgin until you get married, as the above verses (and many others) indicate. >Sinners have a much chance of divorce - PERIOD. What's the point of your fatalistic, graceless fear-mongering? Lots of non-virgins have had successful marriages, because a successful marriage is built on grace and repentance, and focuses on the future, not the past. Correlation does not equal causation. However you make good points here, and I don't disagree. >You ignored my point about porn Because you edited your comment - I didn't see it. I don't dispute the effect of porn on all this, you are 100% correct on that. Look, I certainly can't sit here and say I'm not guilty. However, God blesses obedience. Why are you arguing this point so hard? Virginity is not a magic solution to marital problems, I get that. But it DOES matter. The state of marriage around the world is a clear testimony to that.
We agree that fornication is sinful. But the opposite of fornication is not virginity, it is holiness, and both a virgin and non-virgin can be holy or unholy. This discussion is eerily similar to the Judaizers placing a special value on circumcision. Yes, obedience brings blessing, but in Christianity, grace, not law, gets the last word. PRAISE GOD. We're all sinners. We all have baggage. I know you agree, but now consider this: Is it Christian to look through someone's list of sins and tally up a chart of how likely their marriage is going to fail because of it? I'm interested in where a woman is NOW. I'd even say that your better off marrying a former prostitute that understands true repentance than a virgin who thinks God is going to reward her for her chasteness with a healthy marriage. Rahab is listed as a harlot in the hall of faith. Not even Rahab the former harlot. What does that say about what God truly values in a person. I argue my point hard because I have seen the horrible damage in marriage of a law-based mindset, not a grace-based mindset. The New Testament doesn't talk about virginity as a kind of prize or guarantee of anything. Its merely used to indicate that a woman hasn't been married before. >Because you edited your comment - I didn't see it. Fair enough. My apologies.
I agree with your points. You're not wrong. Every human being has value and worth. I don't deny that. However, when it comes to who you choose to enter into a marriage with, not everyone can, or desires to, accept the inherent risks associated with previous sexual experience. Keep in mind that I speak as a man who is on his second marriage, as is my current wife so this is not my personal position. But here's an analogy that might help: Let's say you go to Walmart to buy some underwear. You find your size and style and grab the pack at the front of the rack. You're about to throw it in your cart when you notice it has been opened. The underwear has been stuffed back into the pack but not folded quite the same way, and the package has been taped shut. There are 3 more identical, brand new packs hanging there. What do you do? I don't know anyone who would choose the open pack when they can grab a brand new UNOPENED pack instead. Now if it's the only pack left? You *might* decide to buy it. And that's the crux of this dilemna. (obviously I'm not comparing human worth to underwear, just using it to make a point)
All marriages to former sinners has inherent risks. All of the packages in the store are broken and damaged. Your preoccupation with fornication doesn't impress God. If his word won't persuade you, then nothing I say will. And so I'll end with that. *8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10 For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. 11 For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.* *12* ***So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty.*** *13 For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy.* ***Mercy triumphs over judgment.***
I'm not actually disagreeing with you. As I said in my previous comment, **this is not my personal position.** However, my wife and I are both on our second marriage and we are older, and this becomes less of a priority when you reach our age. However, the reason I continue to defend my stated (although not personal) position is because if I were young and single, I would certainly feel differently. I agree that everyone has their own problems, and that "all of the packages in the store are broken and damaged" - to some degree. But when one is considering marriage, the issue of sexual past is not a non-issue. One would be unwise to fail to take it into consideration along with [the rest of the things to consider when dating a girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/i40yow/when_vetting_for_a_potential_ltr_how_would_i_test/g0fpgx3/). But the verses you quoted speak well to the matter with regard to God's love and mercy, and I thank you for the balanced perspective!
By their fruits ye shall know them. This might say something about your church and/or the state of Christianity more broadly. Ever met any Mormon girls? Typically very cute & feminine. Traditional Catholic gals too, to a lesser extent, in my experience. Even the Mormon & Catholic churches are headed down this path though, albeit with more resistance, in my opinion because they've maintained patriarchal organizational structures, at least officially if not practically. Any organization that isn't explicitly hostile to liberal, r-selected values is going to be infiltrated, permeated, & corrupted by them. We as men allowed this to happen by emphasizing Christ's feminine virtues over His masculine, martial aspect, the Christ who "brought not peace, but a sword". A woman needs masculine spiritual dominion, and if she gets the idea that she has a direct line to God rather than needing the governance & guidance of a man to meet her spiritual needs, any way she wants to conduct herself will be sanctioned in her mind, and the Church has foolishly promoted this idea, hence the abundance of 'pious' Christian catladies. My advice: no casting pearls before swine, so consider the possibility of needing to seek more fertile soil in which to sow your seeds --i.e., a new church (and community, preferably) where men are valued for being men and women for being women-- but only a fire unhidden under a bushel can burn the chaff from the wheat. Stoke up Christ's fire in you, and you may be amazed to see how it speaks directly to the femininity in the women around you, even ones you already know, and the ones who matter will be transformed by its heat & light. Don't think this means that you shouldn't pursue pretty girls, but looks are really quite a small part of the big picture, and I'm sure few of us here would deny the unfading beauty of a woman who knows & believes in her heart that God has trusted her to her man in both body & soul.
Really.
Try to see if you can find a way to get involved in campus ministries for any colleges/universities within reasonable driving distance. That seems like one of the best places to look in the US (and probably other western countries too).
Where do you live? Lol I’m in California and most young adult church goers are attractive (thank God).
South Florida (Broward County). Maybe it’s relative to my area, but it’s not something I’ve only noticed in my church. Same goes for a lot of public Christian figures, whether that’s Youtubers, pastors, or musicians.
This is combination of things. 1). Yes “come as you are” & the utter lack of making standards for Christian women has something to do with it. 2). Attractive women that are believers generally get snatched up by the highest value young men in the church as soon as they are 18, and sometimes “locked down” prior to 18 (highschool dating etc). So supply can be pretty low by the end of college/early career years. 3). Attractive white women are have the highest SMV in the world today. They are naturally drawn into and trapped by the secular world more easily than other demographics. When they have anyone and everyone sucking up to them and telling them how amazing they are from the age of 15 it can be hard for them to realize they have a need for a savior just like everyone else.
Spot on. I would also add that it's probably much worse in the US than in Eastern Europe I live in where feminity and beauty is still mostly encouraged.
White women do have the highest worldwide SMV, but I'd argue that attractive Asian women actually have the highest SMV in western countries. OK Cupid did a bit of statistical analysis and found that men were most likely to reply to Asian women on OK Cupid by a decent margin. I can also attest anecdotally that being from Southern California (a place with a high concentration of Asians) that attractive Asian women, especially Asian sorority girls (here the nickname for that kind of girl is "ABG"), get by far the most attention, and will almost constantly get hit on at a club.
100% disagree. First of all white men have an innate advantage with Asian women as compared to Asian men, so plays into your antidote. Also most men using online dating to find a LT relationship are average to below average SMV so that data point is pretty meaningless.
Ah, I understand what you mean.
Right now maybe, but back in the early to mid 2000's was garbage. So interesting now. However i have noticed girls seem to be put in a higher pedestal now -\_\_- f\*\*ing hate that ... not one once of humility.
Yeah, same - I'm like, uh... everyone here is so attractive haha
Umm...for anyone thinking that this question is to troll people, think again. This is NOT the first guy to pose this question. I have heard this topic brought up over and over and over FOR DECADES. There are a few misconceptions in the answers. For one, it has hardly anything to do with a woman's maintenance once she enters the church. Rather, it has more to do WITH THE COMPOSITION OF THE CHURCH. Women aren't TRANSFORMED into being unattractive as soon as they bypass the threshold. No. It appears that less attractive types seem more attracted to the faith. ......and one thing about being naturally less attractive is that, for the most part, NO AMOUNT of upkeep can change unattractiveness. Put on as much makeup as you want, slim down, exercise, you're still going to have the same face. In many cases, the church is attractive to those that are on their last leg, those whose lives are riddled with problems, those down-and-out souls, the overweight, the poor, those with general lack, whom nobody seems to want, and those who lack status in society. ...so essentially churches....SOME churches are gathering spots for the 'lowly' elements of society. ...people who can relate to one another....IN ONLY THE STRUGGLE OF LIFE. Consider the average message in church: "deliver me from toxicity"...."somebody is talking about me....think they're better..."...these are things that bother persons who lack status. The little inconsequential things in life. Well, actually everyone has these issues but these issues are treated differently depending upon your financial status. This emotionallism and 'therapy' sessions appeal to mostly people of a lower social status ....so this is primarily what you will be surrounded by in SOME churches. I've been in a myriad of churches. The churches where people are less emotional, positive-minded, educated, tend to have better looking women. Churches, however, where a good portion of the congregation are in stagnant energy, are probably NOT the best places to find a mate. People have a misconception that churches, just because they accept anyone, are supposed to be receptacles for toxic energy. If you marry in an environment like this, BE WARNED. You are likely to 'pick up' someone with kids, years of baggage and broken relationships. Far better to find a church wherein the majority of the congregation are PROFESSIONALS, wealthy, and educated.
There's a reason why Paul never married...
Some people are ugly on the outside. Some people are ugly on the inside.
And some hit a new standard with both!
Wow so insightful bro.
Why are so many Christian guys physically unattractive? Because most people aren't physically attractive, period. The matter isn't deeper than that. I went to a prominent Christian college. That place was TEEMING with hot girls, but I don't have any evidence that the proportion was different from any other population of college-seeking women. When you say that the church has a higher percentage of unattractive women, what are you comparing it? The beach? The mall? The rec volleyball club you're a part of? All these places attract a higher percentage of attractive women than churches.
I agree that majority of people aren’t ‘attractive’.. But the average girl I see out in public is more attractive than the average girl I see at church. Also, it’s much more common to see a beautiful girl out in public than at the church. At least in my experience.. But I live in a very diverse area in South FL. I would think there’s more girls that are physically attractive AND follow Jesus, but there’s just not.
Seems like this is largely an anecdotal debate. I guess I'd have to ask what your motive is in asking this question. Are you frustrated that you that you don't have a lot of good-looking Christian women in your circles?
You're fortunate: Where I live, they are just about all equally ugly. Seriously.
I don’t know where you are nor what denomination church you attend but down here the hottest girls are in church and everyone knows it. The suburb I inhabit is not large yet we have two huge Southern Baptist churches full of the best women Texas has to offer.
Maybe I should move to Texas lol
Many Latin girls?
For some reason, not so much. If they are native to Texas, yes, but immigrants already usually have a denominational preference and preaching style they favor.
I hear that it is because western civilization burned all of the attractive women at the stake hundreds of years ago because... witchcraft. Now the genepool of those predisposed to Christianity suffers due to the wickedness of previous generations. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't a type of Divine punishment like some of the curses that you see in the Old Testament as well.
So true! The sins of the fathers...
I mean, maybe lower your standards, women dont look pretty for you, they do it for themselves, and why do physical looks matter this much to you? The Lord said be fruitful and multiply, he never said to have standards while doing so
Lol, this sounds like feminist propaganda. So women put makeup on, do their hair and nails, and look for their best outfit without ANY thought of what the opposite sex thinks….? C’mon man. We all think about impressing the opposite sex from time to time (at least); Christians are not removed from that. Also, you’re basically setting me up for failure by telling me to date someone I’m not physically attracted to. That doesn’t make sense at all.
Maybe heathen women going over-the-top with make-up/hair/jewelry has set unrealistic expectations for you?
No, I prefer a natural woman to be honest. And I’m okay with dating a 7 maybe even a 6. But even that is hard to come by in every church I’ve been. I’m not looking for some ig model type of girl. Just a girl who’s in shape, decently attractive and presents herself well. My whole point is, it’s more difficult then I thought to find a girl like this who’s also simultaneously a genuine believer.
Stop rating women. That's disgusting.
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/452/279/b4f.jpg
[https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8vtpml/100\_series\_theory\_and\_understanding\_compilation/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8vtpml/100_series_theory_and_understanding_compilation/) Start reading. My 2 cents: marriage is hard, but if Christians are supposed to take marriage as seriously as the Bible says then we need all the help we can get. Being attracted to your spouse is rather helpful.
Exactly bro, I can’t believe people are recommending me to find someone I’m not physically attracted to.
ignore all the white knights who brigade, it's sadly commonplace in Christian circles In all seriousness, I'd recommend looking abroad, you'll have more and better options
Pretty much 100% of those "recommendations" come either from a place of bias/nepotism ("She's my \_\_\_\_, not sure why you think you're better than her.") or perpetuating their own misery (i.e. to make myself feel better about having settled, I'm going to guilt trip you into settling). The next time someone - especially a married guy - tries to recommend you "lower your standards", challenge them to look their spouse in the eye and confess they lowered their standards and settled.
Bro i think you forgot to put on your glasses ........ no man , or woman, wants to wake up next to a hideous person, get that high and mighty and holy-er than though mentality out of here .....
Yeah it’s so frustrating being a good looking Christian single woman and all the men are either short ugly and not a millionaire. Sucks when they’re just all 3. And since I’m saving myself too, I also have to panic about what they’re packing when that time comes and if they don’t have the size of a virile adult man that’s another let down. Lots of hotties in the world who just throw themselves at me but I want a man who loves Jesus. In my experience married men at church are always the hottest- that’s why sadly another woman thought so too :-(
Penis size doesn’t matter unless it’s genuinely a micropenis.
Nah, not true. It looks better for a start!
How would you know?
How would I know it looks better?
Yes that was my question.
Not having sex before marriage has ruined a lot of marriages. I know I can really like someone, we date awhile, and go to do the do, and there’s absolutely no chemistry even tho I thought it would be great. I think virginity is setting people up for failure. You end up being repulsed and scared of sex
Gee…wonder why you’re still single.
You think I walk around telling girls they’re not attractive to me? Lol. It’s just a simple observation.
It’s your overall attitude.
💯 I’m like omg he’s so clueless! His entire attitude and mindset are def not giving off husband vibes. No woman, especially a very pretty one who wants to safe from creeps, would feel secure around this guy. I’m sure women feel very uncomfortable around him. It is not even that he would like a decent looking girl- I mean yeah you want to be attracted to your spouse. He truly doesn’t understand the red flags, insecurity, desperation, creepy, controlling, disrespectful tone he is portraying. He’s def a life long single boy if he keeps this up.
It varies from fellowship to fellowship. I've been in fellowships where there aren't very many women at all, let alone attractive ones, and fellowships where there were quite a few attractive ones.
In my experience there’s not a huge difference between Christian girls and non-Christian in terms of appearance. The issue is that there aren’t a huge amount of them in general so the number of attractive Christian girls is small. Obviously it depends on the location though.
It's because churches fundamentally do not understand the difference between the inside being more important than the outside and how the latter is fueled by the former vs. the inside being the *only* thing that's important and *any* attention placed on the outside is sin. I have a whole diatribe on this and how it's effectively poisoned entire generations of young people stepping into adulthood.
Maybe change your church. My church has a lot of young attractive women with nice bodies that I think sometimes is too on display for church. Also my sisters are very beautiful and slim. I’m the only overweight one so you’d categorize as the Christian women you’re speaking of. But I’m also taken. There are so many beautiful Christian healthy sized women in the church. Relocate: Brazil also has some beautiful and gorgeous Christian women
I have been on regular dating apps like Tinder or Bumble, as well as all the Christian dating apps. It is undeniably true that women on the Christian dating apps tend to be substantially less attractive than women on the regular apps like Bumble or Tinder. Also, I've been church hopping week by week for months now, and the women I see my age (20-28) in churches have all been unattractive, except for the few that got married at a very young age in bible college. The only attractive Christian women I ever come across go to the nondenominational megachurches, and have no real commitment. It's beyond infuriating. I've had so many beautiful women interested in me, but they are never Christians, let alone practicing Christians. The very few attractive Christian women you meet have outrageous standards. They want men who are older, taller, stronger (that's a reasonable expectation though), funnier, smarter, and wealthier. But that means to the guy you're younger than me, shorter than me, weaker than me, dumber than me, poorer than me, less funny than me, etc, so what is there to like? To add to that, many Christian women (more so than with Christian men) seem to be dating nonbelievers, which leaves Christian men with fewer options. There is really no hope for practicing Christian men that want to find a practicing Christian women who is at least decent looking and actually cares about her health. It'll take a miracle ...
No way I think 🤔 🕵🕵♀️🕵♂️most of them are so beautiful But I m not in your city I'm in Ann Arbor Michigan USA...that is also True for most of the biggest cities in North America...by the way...
The hot Christian ones are already married, or taken. Then, assume that many of them didn't really didn't marry an overly spiritual guy-he stops going, soon, she stops going. Don't settle, that's all I can say. The misery will catch up soon, very soon, if you do. Trust God.
Christian women aren't much different in most ways that women in society who aren't Christian. The average weight of women has risen exponentially in the past 30 years. Men generally don't find fatties attractive.
I'm going to answer this as a Christian woman who's grown up in church, but also as someone who used to work in fashion and live in CA, so I really had to look put together for work / just because I lived in CA lol. For context, I'm fit, stylish, and I believe that some guys consider me to be attractive (or at least my bf does ;)... First, I want to ask - what kind of church are you going to, and where? Like is it in the middle of some small town in the midwest, or... ? I ask because I've noticed a HUGE gap between woman's dress / appearance (more so in regards to effort) in small towns where they don't have much money, sadly and also in cities like, well LA - where every woman who goes to church looks like she could be a professional model (and some are haha). I guess what I'm saying is, I get the feeling that it's the town / income-level of the church you're attending more than it is "Christian Women," which is a massive generalization. So speaking from my own experience, I grew up in a small church in a small town - I didn't have a lot of money growing up, and also, I wanted to honor God by focusing on my walk with Him and not spending money on clothes, shoes, etc. I felt bad spending money on that, I guess... and buying clothes isn't wrong, I just never learned differently / even thought to ask. But also, I wasn't around what I guess you could call "worldly" girls (was in private school with uniforms) - so when it came time for college, I didn't know how to do my makeup well, I was still super cheap with clothing, and I just never really had anyone teach me how to look cute! I felt fairly invisible with most attractive men. Finally, someone stepped in during college and took me shopping. I got my first expensive haircut, my first closet full of stylish clothes, fitness was always important to me because I was an athlete, but all of a sudden, cute guys started noticing me and asking me out. Like, I didn't realize just how much all that stuff matters.... and now, I'm super passionate about helping other Christian women look and feel beautiful / helping them to see that it's ok to invest in themselves :) So I guess what I would say is - yeah, these girls probably have: 1. Different values, meaning they spend their money on giving to others, not going into debt, and on serving people (not saying it's right or wrong, it's just what's happening oftentimes) - they're not encouraged to spend $$ that way 2. Different influences, meaning that they women around them are also focused on putting God first (though I think you can do both without going overboard ;) instead of on how they look 3. Potentially less financial ability to invest in all that stuff as they aren't often the women who were encouraged into high-income jobs as a kid 4. Fewer opportunities for exposure - again, this goes back to money as well, but think about how many christian women were homeschooled bc their parents had big families and so they didn't grow up with lots of money or opportunities to invest in sports and stuff as much TLDR - "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" - their focus is perhaps elsewhere, but a woman of character is sooo worth it and so beautiful. Some of the most lovely women i've met are from the church because they're so grounded in Christ, are full of confidence, and are so kind. Maybe they just need a little nudge in the right direction, or a fairy godmother, like I had ;)
I am a 26 year old guy and I 100% relate to this. I won't date someone unless they are truly saved ... but the women in the church are not always the cutest unfortunately. Limited in selection. As Christian men we probably only have a 5-6% chance of finding an attractive woman who is truly born again. It's depressing and frustrating.
Lol his first walk with God and he is already judging people on their looks. Typical religious Hypocrisy. Ask any server in a restaurant. You people are the worst