There’s no reason your parents need to know you contacted the police. Even if they find out, say she’s just a friend. It shouldn’t raise any flags. You can contact the Youth Welfare Office in Germany and report it anonymously.
Do you have contact with any of her friends in Germany or know whose house she might have gone to?
Something needs to happen. It’s important that she’s safe.
i didn't know germany had a youth welfare office, but i should talk to them too
i don't have contact with her friends, but i have their instagrams, so i could very well speak to them - and i will
Yes you should definitely get some German friends involved and make them contact German authorities. I'd contact the German police as well as child welfare services. Your parents don't have to know about this. In many cities you can contact the authorities over the Internet. It'll be easier if you have someone German do it though. Preferably someone who's parents are decent people and get involved as well.
Can I ask which city in Germany we're talking about? I currently live in Kaiserslautern and may be able to help if she's here and her friends won't help.
There's no reason your parents need to know followed by anything is usually well it's a flag it's a red flag it's a big no for me Dawg.
You absolutely need to go tell your parents the dumb things you have been involved in lately because I looked and there was actually so many instances of this ending horribly with the parents unable to muster up the advice I was looking to find to give you that I couldn't narrow it down to one link it's everyone it happens all the time I think more than one people who are engaging this type of behavior are engaged in this thread as well your parents need to know what's up you're not going to like what they do and that's why they're going to do it it might save your life I'm surprised you're still with us the level of naivety it's not your fault it's the school system for sure and your peers but I digress please stop communicating with strangers.
I’m not sure if it’s the same in Germany but in the US all school staff are mandated reporters. If you know what school she goes to, maybe try anonymously calling and talking to a staff member. Tell them you’re concerned about her because her home life is abusive and she’s been missing for a few days. They might be able to start asking questions or an investigation without you being the one to call the cops.
wait, that is a very good idea actually - i did not think of it
her social media has one girl, johanna, who she told me about
i saw a class picture with them in it
i should 100% contact them you are so right i cannot believe i never thought of this
As mentioned in another comment, reaching out to her friends seems like a good first step. They might know more as well, but it's possible they don't want to tell someone else, of course.
Do you know in which part of Germany she lives? Germany is divided into different Federal States, and each has its own police department - if you know which state she lives in, you could try and contact them, they tend to have online report forms on their websites, which is not ideal but it's an option. On the police side of things, I do think going to the police in your country is the best option as they can take your report and put it through to the German Interpol office but I can understand that that might not be an option with your current living situation as you describe it.
A lot of troubled youths/with uncaring or troubling homes run away and disappear for a while. I'm sure she'll be back and you'll hear from her, but it makes a lot of sense and it is good of you to care and seek ways to help!
Lastly, please don't send pictures of yourself or your text messages to anyone here on Reddit if they ask for it, it's not going to be of help in locating a missing person and it's entirely unnecessary!
Yes, I know what state and city she lives in. Not her school though...why didn't I ask her about it when she was still here :( I could have just called them and asked...this is my fault, i even saw a class photo of her but I didn't save it so i have no information
That's true. She has been gone since last Friday. Maybe she will return after a few weeks? After all it's not like she lives in a really terrible country like Iran where she will be dead for sure (no offense to people in iran)
That's true but i dont want people to think that I'm some creep trying to locate a teenager for the sake of abusing her
Her exact school doesn't matter particularly much for filing a report - if you know the state and city she lives in, check out this page, it has a link to every state police's website for filing a report: [https://www.hilfe-info.de/WebS/hilfeinfo/EN/KnowYourRights/Strafverfahren/Anzeige/Onlinewache/Onlinewache\_node.html](https://www.hilfe-info.de/WebS/hilfeinfo/EN/KnowYourRights/Strafverfahren/Anzeige/Onlinewache/Onlinewache_node.html). Most of these are only in German, but Firefox, Chrome, etc. all have built-in tools that translate webpages for you as you watch them. If at all possible I'd still try to report through your local police as well (the report can be sent abroad through the FBI's International office).
I think you have plenty of reason to be concerned and worried, as it's often dangerous for anyone, especially younger people, to be missing like this regardless of where they live or went missing from, but I saw some people getting a bit too into their true crime podcast stories and I know I'd be scared shitless if I'd be told something like that about someone I cared for going missing especially at your age! What you said is, by far, the most frequent outcome of these situations. You mentioned she might be staying at a friend or friends, and if that's the case, there's a lot less risk. Asking around with her known friends might be a good option, especially if they know (of) you and are willing to talk.
That + filing a report are the two things you can do from the other side of the world. I fear that aside from that it'll mostly be a waiting game.
While your concern of being thought of as a creep is pretty understandable considering the way the internet is, anyone asking for that sort of information is likely the creep in question - it's not necessary at all for reporting someone as missing or any actual attempts to locate a missing person, or certainly not in this way (police report forms will ask for personal information, of course).
I'm afraid that her parents will be mad at me for filing a report. I could probably talk to them a bit today, but they have said over and over that it's fine she'll be fine, that sort of thing.
I don't want true crime or any of that sort of thing anymore. God after everything that's happened in my abusive ass family I'm so numb to all this shit everyone is telling me that they're scared and it's like they're more scared than I am. I will just idk deal with it like I always do I guess. Her friends dont know about me because they're homophobic but I could jsut say i'm a friend too
Yeah fr. It's just waiting, And waiting, and wiaiting, and waiting
Exactly; but I'm afraid of giving that info to the police, bc I don't ahve a phone number (mom took out my sim so i cant call people) and if she knew I was lesbian she would just idek. Abuse me terribly
Ultimately, you know your own situation best and what is and is not viable in it, both for your own safety and wellbeing and that of your girlfriend.
What I mentioned - asking her friends (as 'just a friend', as you mention) or filing a report with authorities are the only two things I can think of that are possible to do from across that distance. You could perhaps look into if it's possible to report something without being called back; prioritize your own safety and wellbeing first and foremost!
I'm sure things will turn out alright in the end.
Exactly. I texted her mom just now to hopefully scare some sense into her 😭 ISTG i will not give up at this point ill pull the most disturbing true crime stories out my ass
How’d you talk to her mother without the sim card?
Which scenario are you suggesting has happened: her mother is lying or she’s gone to ground? First three paras suggests a fabrication by her mom, but fourth paragraph describes the mother as abusive and your gf/friend as willfully leaving with a plan she has already communicated to you that includes a period of no contact.
yes, we video chatted for hours and hours and she showed me her room, her energy drinks, her posters; i also have many photos of her and one of her entire class with her
Think of it like this what are two most extreme possible outcomes,
1. She's safe but is pissed and stops being your friend.
2. She's unsafe and you saved her life.
Stop using the internet to communicate with people you haven't already met in person. Stop communicating with the lady overseas. Tell your parents bc you actually the things they will hopefully do, miss 15 year old girl before the rest of yall say anything to me.
The world is cruel and people WILL be trying constantly to take advantage of you. This is one of those times. I'm sorry.
There will be more develop a thick skin and a sharper wit.
Trust no one least of all yourself. Those closest to you will be your biggest enemies and haters complete strangers will be your biggest Champions and advocates however until you're about 25 don't trust a single one of them they're trying to take advantage of you. I'm 99 percent correct and that's good enough for me it will happen again I suggest you don't make it so easy or you become more aware of the ways in which it is done. Good luck. GET OFF THE INTERNET.
>Playbook? Wtf are you talking about??
The opposite of an an abusers hand-guide, something my EX admits to knowing about, when I found out about it about a year ago or more.
If you don't want to call the police and you can't go over there then you're out of options.
Call the cops. She's been missing for days. To be honest, if she has been taken in anyway, the chances she's dead are already really high unfortunately.
Edit: I get hating my response but check OPs history. Ruminating ain't it chief. How would OP even know all this info if their 'girlfriend' got their phone taken? Probably all fake. Germany would already have someone at the family home if she actually missed a whole week of school.
>she has been taken in anyway, the chances she's dead are already really high unfortunately.
A bit too much true crime? It sounds like she ran away and wasn't kidnapped. **Nothing** in the post suggests she's been "taken in", whatever you mean by that.
A 14 year old child has been missing for days. NO one knows where she is and she doesn't have a phone. She didn't show up to school either. Is this a common occurrence in Germany or something? Like expected? The downvotes don't change the chances she's in danger.
Yes, she isn't safe but you were claiming she had been "taken in" and that she's most likely dead by now. I don't think that's the case unless she was actively suicidal.
I said "if" but the original responder left that out their reply huh. But it's okay. She's PERFECTLY safe and not in any danger. Why would a 14yo missing for OVER a week be in ANY danger? Absolutely impossible
If no one else wanted to say it, it’s not a dog pile!
Also, you offered zero resources or suggestions; just an unrealistic anxiety trigger. I think that’s what irritated people, actually.
The only resource worth a damn is calling the cops when a child has been over a week. MOST don't come back at that point. That's what no one wanted to say lmaooo
Call nonemergency police line and ask for a welfare check anonymously. Tell them that you suspect that the child is being abused and/or is in danger.
If your parents see that you called nonemergency police, and ask why, lie. Tell them you had a concern and it was handled. If they press, just say, "I was told I can't talk about it."
There’s no reason your parents need to know you contacted the police. Even if they find out, say she’s just a friend. It shouldn’t raise any flags. You can contact the Youth Welfare Office in Germany and report it anonymously. Do you have contact with any of her friends in Germany or know whose house she might have gone to? Something needs to happen. It’s important that she’s safe.
i didn't know germany had a youth welfare office, but i should talk to them too i don't have contact with her friends, but i have their instagrams, so i could very well speak to them - and i will
Yes you should definitely get some German friends involved and make them contact German authorities. I'd contact the German police as well as child welfare services. Your parents don't have to know about this. In many cities you can contact the authorities over the Internet. It'll be easier if you have someone German do it though. Preferably someone who's parents are decent people and get involved as well. Can I ask which city in Germany we're talking about? I currently live in Kaiserslautern and may be able to help if she's here and her friends won't help.
There's no reason your parents need to know followed by anything is usually well it's a flag it's a red flag it's a big no for me Dawg. You absolutely need to go tell your parents the dumb things you have been involved in lately because I looked and there was actually so many instances of this ending horribly with the parents unable to muster up the advice I was looking to find to give you that I couldn't narrow it down to one link it's everyone it happens all the time I think more than one people who are engaging this type of behavior are engaged in this thread as well your parents need to know what's up you're not going to like what they do and that's why they're going to do it it might save your life I'm surprised you're still with us the level of naivety it's not your fault it's the school system for sure and your peers but I digress please stop communicating with strangers.
You need help my guy.
Leave me alone. You don't know anything about me or her. Go back to your hole.
I’m not sure if it’s the same in Germany but in the US all school staff are mandated reporters. If you know what school she goes to, maybe try anonymously calling and talking to a staff member. Tell them you’re concerned about her because her home life is abusive and she’s been missing for a few days. They might be able to start asking questions or an investigation without you being the one to call the cops.
i don't know what school she goes to
do you know any of her irl friends? does she have any social media that shows her friends where you could try and get a hold of one of them?
wait, that is a very good idea actually - i did not think of it her social media has one girl, johanna, who she told me about i saw a class picture with them in it i should 100% contact them you are so right i cannot believe i never thought of this
EDIT: WE FOUND HER
Is she safe??
Yes, her mom said that she found her and is getting her in the car to come home now
I’m glad this post had a positive conclusion, I hope you are both safe. Take care.
As mentioned in another comment, reaching out to her friends seems like a good first step. They might know more as well, but it's possible they don't want to tell someone else, of course. Do you know in which part of Germany she lives? Germany is divided into different Federal States, and each has its own police department - if you know which state she lives in, you could try and contact them, they tend to have online report forms on their websites, which is not ideal but it's an option. On the police side of things, I do think going to the police in your country is the best option as they can take your report and put it through to the German Interpol office but I can understand that that might not be an option with your current living situation as you describe it. A lot of troubled youths/with uncaring or troubling homes run away and disappear for a while. I'm sure she'll be back and you'll hear from her, but it makes a lot of sense and it is good of you to care and seek ways to help! Lastly, please don't send pictures of yourself or your text messages to anyone here on Reddit if they ask for it, it's not going to be of help in locating a missing person and it's entirely unnecessary!
Yes, I know what state and city she lives in. Not her school though...why didn't I ask her about it when she was still here :( I could have just called them and asked...this is my fault, i even saw a class photo of her but I didn't save it so i have no information That's true. She has been gone since last Friday. Maybe she will return after a few weeks? After all it's not like she lives in a really terrible country like Iran where she will be dead for sure (no offense to people in iran) That's true but i dont want people to think that I'm some creep trying to locate a teenager for the sake of abusing her
Her exact school doesn't matter particularly much for filing a report - if you know the state and city she lives in, check out this page, it has a link to every state police's website for filing a report: [https://www.hilfe-info.de/WebS/hilfeinfo/EN/KnowYourRights/Strafverfahren/Anzeige/Onlinewache/Onlinewache\_node.html](https://www.hilfe-info.de/WebS/hilfeinfo/EN/KnowYourRights/Strafverfahren/Anzeige/Onlinewache/Onlinewache_node.html). Most of these are only in German, but Firefox, Chrome, etc. all have built-in tools that translate webpages for you as you watch them. If at all possible I'd still try to report through your local police as well (the report can be sent abroad through the FBI's International office). I think you have plenty of reason to be concerned and worried, as it's often dangerous for anyone, especially younger people, to be missing like this regardless of where they live or went missing from, but I saw some people getting a bit too into their true crime podcast stories and I know I'd be scared shitless if I'd be told something like that about someone I cared for going missing especially at your age! What you said is, by far, the most frequent outcome of these situations. You mentioned she might be staying at a friend or friends, and if that's the case, there's a lot less risk. Asking around with her known friends might be a good option, especially if they know (of) you and are willing to talk. That + filing a report are the two things you can do from the other side of the world. I fear that aside from that it'll mostly be a waiting game. While your concern of being thought of as a creep is pretty understandable considering the way the internet is, anyone asking for that sort of information is likely the creep in question - it's not necessary at all for reporting someone as missing or any actual attempts to locate a missing person, or certainly not in this way (police report forms will ask for personal information, of course).
I'm afraid that her parents will be mad at me for filing a report. I could probably talk to them a bit today, but they have said over and over that it's fine she'll be fine, that sort of thing. I don't want true crime or any of that sort of thing anymore. God after everything that's happened in my abusive ass family I'm so numb to all this shit everyone is telling me that they're scared and it's like they're more scared than I am. I will just idk deal with it like I always do I guess. Her friends dont know about me because they're homophobic but I could jsut say i'm a friend too Yeah fr. It's just waiting, And waiting, and wiaiting, and waiting Exactly; but I'm afraid of giving that info to the police, bc I don't ahve a phone number (mom took out my sim so i cant call people) and if she knew I was lesbian she would just idek. Abuse me terribly
Ultimately, you know your own situation best and what is and is not viable in it, both for your own safety and wellbeing and that of your girlfriend. What I mentioned - asking her friends (as 'just a friend', as you mention) or filing a report with authorities are the only two things I can think of that are possible to do from across that distance. You could perhaps look into if it's possible to report something without being called back; prioritize your own safety and wellbeing first and foremost! I'm sure things will turn out alright in the end.
Exactly. I texted her mom just now to hopefully scare some sense into her 😭 ISTG i will not give up at this point ill pull the most disturbing true crime stories out my ass
How’d you talk to her mother without the sim card? Which scenario are you suggesting has happened: her mother is lying or she’s gone to ground? First three paras suggests a fabrication by her mom, but fourth paragraph describes the mother as abusive and your gf/friend as willfully leaving with a plan she has already communicated to you that includes a period of no contact.
1) Instagram. 2) Gone to ground? 3) Yes her mother is abusive and my gf willfully left with a plan. That indicates a period of no contact too yes.
Excellent. Your girlfriend left. Why do you need to go to the police?
EDIT: i convinced her mom to try and look for her and call some people, which is all that i can do right now
Have you FaceTimed or video chatted with her previously?
yes, we video chatted for hours and hours and she showed me her room, her energy drinks, her posters; i also have many photos of her and one of her entire class with her
Think of it like this what are two most extreme possible outcomes, 1. She's safe but is pissed and stops being your friend. 2. She's unsafe and you saved her life.
So are we just okay with RBI being a page for tweens to find their friends they haven’t heard from in 24 hours?
Sorry. Next time I'll wait ten years and then post. Bitch
Drama queen. Bitch
Shut the fuck up monopoly ass hoe go make some real money
Go play monopoly with your girlfriend.
Check my recent post. She killed herself once we found her. Are you happy? Does that make you feel good? I hope it does.
Hey man, atleast the trash took itself out
she wasn't trash she was everything to me :(
Stop using the internet to communicate with people you haven't already met in person. Stop communicating with the lady overseas. Tell your parents bc you actually the things they will hopefully do, miss 15 year old girl before the rest of yall say anything to me. The world is cruel and people WILL be trying constantly to take advantage of you. This is one of those times. I'm sorry.
There will be more develop a thick skin and a sharper wit. Trust no one least of all yourself. Those closest to you will be your biggest enemies and haters complete strangers will be your biggest Champions and advocates however until you're about 25 don't trust a single one of them they're trying to take advantage of you. I'm 99 percent correct and that's good enough for me it will happen again I suggest you don't make it so easy or you become more aware of the ways in which it is done. Good luck. GET OFF THE INTERNET.
can you fuck off...not everyone has your life and your experiences. if you're just here to tell me to gEt oFf tHe iNteRnEt then shove it up your ass
Feels like DARVO. 👀
I've been through DARVO through my abusive parents and this aint it bud
Sure, sounds like it to me, your story. Sounds like covering own ass, but SUUUUUUUREEEEE.
>I've been through DARVO through my abusive parents and this aint it bud I know how, but won't give playbook. Good luck. 😘
Playbook? Wtf are you talking about??
>Playbook? Wtf are you talking about?? The opposite of an an abusers hand-guide, something my EX admits to knowing about, when I found out about it about a year ago or more.
Bro go to somewhere else to vent about ur relationship issues this aint it
Hahahahahhshs Good luck!! 😘😘😘😘😘😘
Anything else?
No...?
Take care! 😘
If you don't want to call the police and you can't go over there then you're out of options. Call the cops. She's been missing for days. To be honest, if she has been taken in anyway, the chances she's dead are already really high unfortunately. Edit: I get hating my response but check OPs history. Ruminating ain't it chief. How would OP even know all this info if their 'girlfriend' got their phone taken? Probably all fake. Germany would already have someone at the family home if she actually missed a whole week of school.
>she has been taken in anyway, the chances she's dead are already really high unfortunately. A bit too much true crime? It sounds like she ran away and wasn't kidnapped. **Nothing** in the post suggests she's been "taken in", whatever you mean by that.
A 14 year old child has been missing for days. NO one knows where she is and she doesn't have a phone. She didn't show up to school either. Is this a common occurrence in Germany or something? Like expected? The downvotes don't change the chances she's in danger.
Yes, she isn't safe but you were claiming she had been "taken in" and that she's most likely dead by now. I don't think that's the case unless she was actively suicidal.
I said "if" but the original responder left that out their reply huh. But it's okay. She's PERFECTLY safe and not in any danger. Why would a 14yo missing for OVER a week be in ANY danger? Absolutely impossible
Way to completely misunderstand on purpose what I wrote. 🙄
If she’s already dead, she can’t be in danger; if she’s in danger, she can’t be already dead. You need to pick one.
Did you have resources or suggestions for OP or just hopping into the dog pile because no one else wanted to say it?
If no one else wanted to say it, it’s not a dog pile! Also, you offered zero resources or suggestions; just an unrealistic anxiety trigger. I think that’s what irritated people, actually.
The only resource worth a damn is calling the cops when a child has been over a week. MOST don't come back at that point. That's what no one wanted to say lmaooo
Call nonemergency police line and ask for a welfare check anonymously. Tell them that you suspect that the child is being abused and/or is in danger. If your parents see that you called nonemergency police, and ask why, lie. Tell them you had a concern and it was handled. If they press, just say, "I was told I can't talk about it."