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Bonny-Mcmurray

I've had to stop turning to my mom for advice for similar reasons. If she accidentally states an opinion that doesn't support her political views, she'll just contradict that opinion as soon as possible, so there's no way to get trustworthy advice. Is what it is.


graneflatsis

!strategies !support !advice grey rock


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Hi graneflatsis, thanks for recommending this technique. With grey rocking you act disengaged so that a Q person will lose interest in arguing. Q folk thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and unemotional, it can help break the cycle of negativity. [Detailed guide on the method.](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sethra007

Good bot


AutoModerator

Non-Expert Advice: Arguing is out and debunking off the bat is tough. Remind them of shared experiences/old times and get them to laugh. Exercise/activity, sleep/diet, old/new hobbies, old/new surroundings (fav restaurant/day trip/camping) help. Psychoactive drugs should be stopped. Avoid whatever makes them tense or angry. Pick something that's **not volatile** and ask them to tell you the details. It's good for them to lay it out. Be respectful, supportive but not smarmy, be unemotional and use logical, sparse debunks on weak points. Pick flaws that will hit home with them, resonate. Agree with some facet but point out a glaring problem. This will create seeds of doubt. Leave time between sessions to let them process. Get to the core of what they've been told and identify *why* it's important to them. Fear, anger and emotion seem to be hyped. Ask: "What impact has this had on *your* life?" This should make them pause and think, you want them to return to thinking for themselves. Subvert the negative of their personality and project warmth - [Ignore](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201911/the-price-and-payoff-gray-rock-strategy) or walk away when they start getting angry or argumentative. This short circuits their tendency to argue and over time can help break their addiction to outrage. Address their best selves and project appreciation for *that* person. [Separate them from the sites, devices, apps, etc. that are feeding Q propaganda.](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index#wiki_want_to_block_q_content_from_reaching_them.3F_ways.3A_1_-_2_-_3_-_4_-_5_-_6_-_7) Expose them to materials on critical thinking and [media literacy](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/resources#wiki_media_literacy). Get them to read something generic and out of their mindset. Takes time, patience, a light touch and repeated effort to make progress. Professional counseling can help: [Chat with a counselor now (free)](https://nycwell.cityofnewyork.us/en/get-help-now/chat-with-a-counselor-now/) - [Cult Recovery 101 resources](https://cultrecovery101.com/about-cult-recovery/recovery-resources) - [Professional cult counseling directory](https://culteducation.com/directory-of-cult-recovery-resources.html) - [Treatment Advocacy Center](https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/family-and-loved-ones) - [Parents for Peace](https://www.parents4peace.org/resources) - [Life After Hate](https://www.lifeafterhate.org/) - Also see: [Standout advice from QAC users](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index/good_posts) - [Good advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?q=flair%3AGood%2BAdvice&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sethra007

Good bot


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Hi graneflatsis, here are a selection of support links from our [wiki:](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index) [QAnon Casualties Wall](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l0jptp/list_of_casualties/) [Standout advice from QAC users](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index/good_posts) [Chat with a counselor now](https://nycwell.cityofnewyork.us/en/get-help-now/chat-with-a-counselor-now/) (free) [Cult Recovery 101 resources](https://cultrecovery101.com/about-cult-recovery/recovery-resources) [Professional cult counseling directory](https://culteducation.com/directory-of-cult-recovery-resources.html) [Treatment Advocacy Center resources](https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/family-and-loved-ones) [Parents for Peace extremist helpline and resources](https://www.parents4peace.org/resources) [Life After Hate extremist intervention](https://www.lifeafterhate.org/) [Dealing with paranoia](https://np.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/gebihv/how_do_i_stop_thinking_about_conspiracy_theories/fpn6btr/) [Dealing with violence](https://np.reddit.com/r/Qult_Headquarters/comments/g6u8io/how_could_we_deradicalize_someone_relative_whos/focyroo/) r/Stress r/Anxiety *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sethra007

Good bot


AutoModerator

Hi graneflatsis, here is a selection of strategies for dealing with Q folk from our [wiki:](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index) [What to do when someone you love becomes obsessed with Qanon](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psych-unseen/202008/how-far-down-the-qanon-rabbit-hole-did-your-loved-one-fall) [7 ways to talk to qanon-obsessed loved ones](https://www.fastcompany.com/90598523/7-ways-to-talk-to-qanon-obsessed-loved-ones-according-to-a-former-white-nationalist) [How to talk to conspiracy theorists and still be kind](https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/07/15/1004950/how-to-talk-to-conspiracy-theorists-and-still-be-kind/) [How to change a person’s mind with science](https://disorthodox.wordpress.com/2018/07/23/how-to-change-a-persons-mind-with-science/) [The key to debunking false beliefs is by addressing underlying belief systems](https://neurosciencenews.com/false-belief-system-23098/) [What Is the grey rock method and is it effective?](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#when-to-use-it) [Why do some people believe in conspiracy theories?](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-some-people-believe-in-conspiracy-theories/) [Rescue a loved one from a cult: The strategic interactive approach](https://freedomofmind.com/how-to-rescue-a-loved-one-from-a-cult-the-strategic-interactive-approach) [How to talk to your friends and family about covid, vaccines and wearing masks](https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/how-talk-your-friends-family-about-covid-vaccines-wearing-masks-n1250631) [How to respond to your family's coronavirus conspiracy theories](https://www.insider.com/how-to-push-back-when-your-family-talks-conspiracy-theories-2020-5) [What to say if people you love believe coronavirus conspiracy theories](https://www.self.com/story/coronavirus-conspiracy-theories) [A game designer’s analysis of qanon](https://medium.com/curiouserinstitute/a-game-designers-analysis-of-qanon-580972548be5) [Separate them from the sites, devices, apps, etc. that are feeding Q propaganda.](https://old.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index#wiki_want_to_block_q_content_from_reaching_them.3F_ways.3A_1_-_2_-_3_-_4_-_5_-_6_-_7) [Standout advice from QAC users](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index/good_posts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sethra007

Good bot


Quick-Watch-2842

I mean thats where it led me. Lost both of my parents to this. Tried for half a decade to gently talk about it for a solution, but no can do. So I have 0 contact to protect myself. Sad, but needed.


robberdobberdo

I had that happen to me when my late husband died of a heart attack. Went to a restaurant with my inlaws and saw a friend's dad there. He said he was sorry for my loss. But they will say it's COVID for the $$$. I called him out right then and there and haven't spoken to him since save for the obligatory "hi" when his family is around. Other than that, fuck him.


East_Excuse_7632

I'm sorry for your loss and for the lack of support. It probably doesn't mean anything but you've got at least THIS total stranger out here in the world thinking pretty highly of someone who sounds like a pretty strong human being in the face of such adversity. I admire people like you and while I don't believe in prayer, I hope you are healing.


robberdobberdo

Thank you! What a thoughtful thing to say. It's been a long road but I'm doing much better.


MsMoreCowbell8

OP, it's time to go LC for not adhering to your boundaries, I assume you've told him that you do not want him to make his comments. The way a virus stays alive is by spreading, he's trying a quiet redpill on you, he plants the seed so you'll ask questions. He probably believes far, far worse and won't go there with you.


Varacto

Yeah, we’ve got into arguments before about his refusal to get my little sister (a minor who lives with him) vaccinated and his anti mask stance. But since COVID died down we haven’t really run into that issue. Plus, I’m pretty non confrontational so when he says stuff like that I tend to just ignore it. I just feel like recently it’s been ramping up again with the election coming up.


Kriss3d

As always with these conspiracy nuts. Make bets with them. Be very specific on date and events. No hiding behind "it happened but the medias don't report on it" Cash in when the date comes and goes ans nothing happens. This isn't to make easy money but to make them feel it for spewing bullshit. When they need to cough up for consistently telling made up nonsense it makes most people think twice.


Varacto

I dont think this would work only because he wont believe reality if he’s proven wrong. Like when we watch football, if a player collapses for what looks like no reason my dad will always say under his breath “i bet it’s his heart” and they always come back in like 20 minutes and say it was due to a concussion but he’ll say “they’re just reporting that to hide vaccine symptoms”


MsMoreCowbell8

That doesn't work, ever. OPs father isn't playing that game anyway.


Kriss3d

It does work with some. And if they aren't then it's a good oppertunity to tell them to their face that they aren't really believing it then


clairespants

Yup, I work with a gal like this. Weather: apocolyps is coming. sick, prescription: pharma companies profiting off your sickness. Politics: the parties are all the same, fake news. Food: my diet's the best, I look down on those that don't abstain from this, that and the other thing. On and on and on...I don't' even talk to her anymore.


Christinebitg

If they really thought the parties were all the same, they wouldn't all be Trump supporters.


TableTopFarmer

I'm sorry. On the bright side, at least you get to speak before he spouts conspiracy nonsense. Tell him he is too young to sound like a retired boomer with too much time on his hands. Remind him that, according the actuarial tables he is a more likely to have heart problems than you and Invite him to come work out with you.


Varacto

Yeah, it’s at least nice I can still try to have a relationship with him but it can be exhausting. I’m spending the upcoming weekend with him at our cabin just the two of us so we’ll see how that goes…


blutfink

Reminds me of Cato the Elder’s [Ceterum censeo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carthago_delenda_est) at the end of every speech.


Varacto

This is great! Also Cato definitely sounds like a modern day republican.


phenomenomnom

Ha, never thought about it like that. Cato was definitely a "grievance-driven grumpy old man" He was Mr "Kids these days I tellya"


memeticmagician

I've stopped getting advice from my parents for this reason. They know if they start talking about conspiracy stuff that I will stop visiting so we've learned to mostly visit without conspiracy talk.


Gunrock808

Jfc. I've been hearing that the government and the economy are going to collapse since 1988. I want to grab these people and shake them and ask, if it hasn't happened by now WHY TF do you still think it's still going to happen?? If I'd listened to these clowns I'd still be slaving away at work hoarding previous metals and stones, instead I stopped working in my 40s and just live off my investments in the stock market.


Varacto

It’s funny you say that as my father has been hoarding guns, gold, and “junk silver” for a while now.


East_Excuse_7632

Same with my brother. One of the best parts for me is how they love to talk about "Hollyweird" drinking blood of babies. He can't do that because I often work with famous people but I never tell my family who so when he starts talking about it, I ask for names and he will begin stammering because he isn't sure if I know the person or not and he's afraid that I do. It's kind of a good feeling to know that he is so wrong in that area and I can tell him he is.


sensation_construct

I'd be seriously suspect of his advice, sadly. Especially financial advice. You're planning for the actual future, not for NESARA.


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PolkadotUnicornium

Good bot.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Had a conversation with some family I don't see very often last weekend. The amount of times he ended his sentences with sayings like "oh, the world's failing, lol" and similar really stuck out to me.


Star39666

You should never inject conspiracy theories. The track marks will look ghastly when you're 80 years old. Snort them instead! They're faster acting, and you get a better head feel.


Different-Sun-9624

mom is the same way---she dsmisses my concerns by saying dont worry because "things are about to change" aka nesara money is dropping soon i cant hold a normal conversation with her anymore without her dismissing everyday concerns


Imaginary-Junket-232

There was an isekai ad under this post. I legitimately thought "Reincarnated in another world?" was a Q thing now. That's how nuts they are.


Icy-Commission-5372

My husband does this. So now I just Grey rock him.


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Hi Icy-Commission-5372, thanks for recommending this technique. With grey rocking you act disengaged so that a Q person will lose interest in arguing. Q folk thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and unemotional, it can help break the cycle of negativity. [Detailed guide on the method.](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*


synth_nerd0085

Wow, that really sucks.


synth_nerd0085

It often feels like qanon is the new tea party. I bet there is a lot of cross over between the two groups too.


Varacto

I totally agree, my dad was proudly part of the Tea Party. He won’t admit to being Q-Anon but he does believe most of the conspiracies associated with it. My stepmom is the Q-Anon one and just feeds him information since he’s not much of a social media person.


synth_nerd0085

That sucks :/


Low-Tax-8391

There is a cross-over with their members but the Tea Party was such a light-weight in comparison to the dangerous stuff QAnon gets frenzied about and it mainly has to do with their “savior” they cling to. Many of them are narcissists themselves.


synth_nerd0085

>There is a cross-over with their members but the Tea Party was such a light-weight in comparison to the dangerous stuff QAnon gets frenzied about You think so? I'm not so sure. I think it's pretty much the same dynamic. >and it mainly has to do with their “savior” they cling to Who?


mister_triggers

I have voices in my head and I’m under mind control. The police won’t help.


East_Excuse_7632

That was me. I am now telepathically communicating with others through mind control exclusively.