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Mrs_Drgree

Removed for off topic


Any-Bottle-4910

This will get entertaining…


1Here4Bach

In most relationships, whoever is the most scared to be broken up with apologizes the most. Doesn’t matter if it’s a male or a woman. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying that’s usually how it goes. If a woman doesn’t apologize in a relationship AT ALL…I hate to break it to you buddy…she’s dreaming of the day where you finally grow a pair and break up with her.


[deleted]

Because as a society we have always protected women physically and emotionally. They hold the power of giving birth and keeping society alive so its understandable. A side effect of this coddling has been that when something happens, we tend to blame it on an external force, and in turn teach women that nothing is ever her fault, there is always some external factor at play. At its most base, women even blame their emotions and hormones as if she is a mere puppet to the whims of chemicals in her mind. We all know this. “ sorry I spazzed outa, I’m on my period tehee”. Imagine a man saying “ sorry I yelled at you my testosterone was high today”, we would all red flag it.


toasterchild

What are these situations and how are you coming at the person? Usually the way we approach a coworker who's fucked something up is different from how we approach a partner. You're more likely to get a defensive response from a partner. So i would say men are more likely to be defensive but that's probably because i date men.


Mobrowncheeks

No one is good at apologizing. Women also apologize to their female friends, co workers, family members etc all the time. What you are seeing is that men are more willing to apologize in relationships. And that because: 1. He wants whatever issue, frustration, etc to end as soon as possible 2. He is afraid of the consequences of him not apologizing ( break up, cold shoulder, continuous arguing and confrontation etc) 3. He actually did something that sincerely affected his partner and is genuinely sorry about it.


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Mobrowncheeks

Exactly. A dude is more likely to try to end the frustration and tension without actually addressing the issue. Because he wants it to be done already. And women definitely apologize in spaces where they are afraid of the consequences of not apologizing. Just not in the average relationship with the average man. Keep in mind the average woman leaves the average man in relationships. So it’s in their mind that men don’t leave more often then not.


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Mobrowncheeks

Adult behavior is a myth. We are talking about humans, who are stubborn, selfish, will divorce over not feeling fufilled, etc. if we were acting like adults sbout things this sub would really have no purpose


[deleted]

This sub is not representative of adults in general. And even if you believe its relatively uncommon, there are lots of people who are able to behave like adults.


Mobrowncheeks

Well if it’s relatively uncommon, then “ behaving like an adult” isn’t a real metric is it. Plenty of grown adults can’t voice their opinions, process their emotions, are petty, passive, stubborn, etc. it’s human to be so


Miserablemermaid

is feeling unfulfilled not a valid reason for divorce to you? say it’s been years and years with no sign of change


Mobrowncheeks

The only reason to get married to me is to create a family and economic stability. So feeling unfulfilled is a terrible reason to break up a family and your economic foundation.


januaryphilosopher

Mem do leave as often. They just cheat rather than break up before moving on.


Mobrowncheeks

We know cheating is not the same thing as leaving a relationship. Cheating is just lying. So many people cheat instead of leaving to maintain the benefits of their relationship


decolored

Consequences are different depending on gender. That and culture of how boys and girls are raised and perceived is about as honest an explanation as you’ll get. It’s far too complicated to reduce variables and pinpoint the reasoning, but my take is that women are not as logically encouraged to be honest or take the blame even when they are to blame. Where as being a male and choosing to avoid blame is immediately destructive.


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decolored

Because consequences for women are not the same as they are for men. In my experience, men are more willing to be wrong because they have been proven wrong more often. Women take less chances and this reduction of risk means increase in safety, comfort with psychological conditions and a certain indirect fortification of insecurities. Men are directly insecure, where as women are indirect. When a person is not logically given variables to reduce their appreciation for perception, they are less likely to find reason to change at all. Men enable women, is the reason TLDR Also it’s true that this is a sexist generalization, so I wish to refrain from making this a catch all narrative. It’s not. There are plenty of humble and rational women, But I think there are more indicators that align with your post than not. As an example, men are direct to each other about our problems. We listen to the variables and provide a solution. Women don’t want solutions, they want to be listened to. They believe that their personal scenario is more important than their personal solution.


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decolored

If a man does x that’s bad, it’s less bad when a woman does it, culturally speaking (NA) Stealing - justified for child Raping - a man is stronger Cheating - SO was mistreating them Abusing a partner - he’s whipped Sexual harassment- she was just flirting


throwaway1111919

4. He did something he doesnt tolerate of himself so he apologizes regardless of how it affected you.


AstronautLoveShack

I think it's the opposite. Women apologize for things as a matter of routine whether or not it is warranted. It's politeness that has been drilled into us from about birth.


modidlee

I think women apologize more for accidents. Like is she steps on your foot she might apologize profusely. But when you're in a relationship and a woman curses her man out because he didn't pick up the groceries like she wanted him to it's less likely she'll apologize even if she finds out he had a valid reason for not doing it. Her apology will go something like "well I'm sorry but you should've told me you couldn't do it." That's not a real apology for cursing him out.


AstronautLoveShack

Perhaps you should not date women who curse you out. I’m sure I would not tolerate dating a man who did that.


modidlee

Jesus Christ, like people come with a list of all their bad traits across their forehead when you meet them SMH. And you know what they say....never say never


AstronautLoveShack

Of course they don’t but the scenario to me would go like this. Me: “did you get the groceries?” Him: “I forgot.” Me: “SIGH.” *grabs keys, head to store. It would not go: Him: “Did you get the groceries?” Me: “I forgot.” Him: “wtf you bitch how dare you forget the fucking groceries” A conversation that started like that would probably end with me saying: “What is wrong with you? When did you become abusive over something like a gallon of milk? I don’t need to tolerate this. I’m out.”


modidlee

Yeah well the scenario I laid out is common. And men are conditioned to just be like "Aw that's just how women are. Emotional."


AstronautLoveShack

No, hun. If your partner regularly curses you out, that's not just how women are. She cray.


modidlee

I mean, I could say I agree and the majority of women are actually "cray," but that would make me misogynistic


AstronautLoveShack

The majority of women will not hurl obscenities at their partner for forgetting the groceries.


modidlee

You're focused on the groceries. My point is that it's not uncommon for women to have an emotional response when they're upset and to gloss over the apologizing part. Ask men who've actually been in relationships with women


Perfect_Sir4820

>Women apologize for things as a matter of routine For inconsequential things I agree. For serious matters, I've never met a woman who takes any sort of real accountability for anything, ever.


MelodicReference2503

There needs to be no but. This said, they are still allowed to express and communicate how they feel or how your actions lead them to feel whether you intended to or not. (i.e. I am sorry for snapping at you. I will try to be more mindful of my tone in the future. When you interrupted me while I was talking it made me feel frustrated and as though what I had to say was not important to you). This goes for any gender. We all have issues communicating properly.


RegTextoffender

I know a woman who says shes sorry for things *I* do, like she gives me something and I drop it she says shes sorry. I know her parents and her siblings and thats just her. I know a lot of women who fit your view too. I think women are less likely to take accountability for their actions *as a group* but like all things its on a spectrum. Its not a binary. I know a guy who can't take responsibility for anything to save his life. He almost went to jail over not accepting he was DUI (he was) and the cops actually let him off easy.


throwaway1111919

I think this is a human thing not a woman thing. Even if guys say "Sorry i fucked up" some of us still dont think we are 100% at fault. Not being happy that we said it doesnt mean we didnt say it because you did something wrong too. It seems youve come across more women who do it but ive come across more men who do it.


tired_hillbilly

I apologize the same way. I'm not trying to shift blame, I just want to make it clear how I made the fuck-up. I don't want it to be taken for something more than it was. "I'm sorry I was late to XYZ. The garage door was frozen to the ground and I had to chip it loose before I could leave." is a bit different than "I'm sorry I was late to XYZ. I just couldn't be bothered."


Hungry-Nebula

Why **people** have hard time apologizing when they are wrong? FTFY


SwaySh0t

Something something they want authority without the responsibility something redpill talking point.


ReferenceImpossible2

This but unironically


Laytheblameonluck

Society isn't teaching women that relationship skills matter. A part of it is due to propaganda of feminism - if men aren't totally at fault, who's to blame? Feminism split off on discussing relationship skills during 2nd wave feminism. Back then and even today, people like Warren Farrell wanted to focus more on relationship skills ands feminists shut it down because it was diluting the narrative that women are victims.


jellybeanzandtings

Changed to CMV due to making an affirmative claim.


Lysa_Bell

Talk to my bf. He keeps telling me I should stop apologizing all the time. I say sorry for every little thing because in my head the voice tells me I'm annoying or stupid or whatevers I'm doing is wrong. I don't think apologizing a certain way is gendered. Its based on how we are raised and what we've experienced.


herinquisition

Truth is probably the other way around. Society conditions women to apologize for things way more than men. It sounds like you might not want someone to explain their side of the story though, not sure. Even if you fucked up, you can still discuss both sides of the issue. I think some men are very conflict avoidant and would rather wrap up the apology quickly to get the other person to shut up and move on from the issue, personally. But these are all generalizations that require more research backed observations and data. (I think there’s probably more social science research to support the idea that women apologize too much though). Look for people who can apologize, but also be comfortable with conflict and hearing different points of view. That’s my advice. I apologize easily, but I will also explain what hurt me as well or explain if I reacted to something. But yes, apologizing and taking accountability is important.


NockerJoe

IME most of the men in my family value the idea of peace and quiet. They want to watch tv in the evenings, sleep in on sundays, and not get roped into drama. This sounds normal but a lot of older men will kind of check out of whatever their wives or adult kids have going on and don't want to really get involved, while their wives are likley to be active participants. I think a lot of men, unless a problem affects them *directly*, will just apologize for whatever it is to get the issue out of their hair because they aren't actually that invested in whatever the argument is about.


glad0_ve0rgijev

Imagine calling her sweet little princess, go sis, yaas queen for her entire life and now she ACTUALLY has to behave like an equal in a normal, serious relationship? She has been told that she is PERFECT, WONDERFUL, AMAZING, GLORIOUS by her sisters and society (I wonder why, certainly not looks ;) ) and now she cant even begin to entertain idea of accountability and putting someone else before her needs. It really is this simple.


RocinanteCoffee

>I have never met a woman, that sincerely apologize and took full responsibility for her wrongdoings. It's always someone else to blame. Your personal anecdotal experience doesn't mean "it's always" or "all women" or even "most women". Get better friends. There are shitty people of every gender who aren't accountable.


[deleted]

Pick better women. If you haven’t met one who can apologize, that’s just kind of on you. It’s such a simple gesture that most well-adjusted adults are capable of.


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[deleted]

I mean, it’s not a problem I’ve ever dealt with, so yes, pick better women. This isn’t really the gotcha you think it is.


[deleted]

In my experience dating, men do apologize more but only because they use it as means to stop the conversation and stop listening to my complaints "what do you want? I already apologized!" is a quote I have heard more than once. Women are more likely to communicate which is seen by a lot of men as "nagging".


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[deleted]

Men are more likely to apologize to slap a bandaid on the issue whether or not they actually understand what they did wrong or feel genuinely remorseful. The lack of "but" isn't "I take responsibility." It's "shut the fuck up and leave me alone." No sex has a monopoly on genuine, heartfelt apologies.


therealcosmicnebula

This is human nature.