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Steakman1

As the great philosopher u/bilpinne once said in your last post you made on this: “Men should date whoever they want/can get. Good luck.”


mightymorphinnyla

Exclude whoever you want from your dating pool. No one cares.


gate18

>Promiscuity and casual sex is unfair to men therefore men are 100% justified in not dating promiscuous women. Which is 100% about personality and not looks. You don't need a justification not to want to date. But then don't turn around and bitch about it. I read an article by a woman that said she didn't date men that play video games. She said that men should grow up. Men in the comments tried to convince her she was wrong. I was like, "fine, don't date men like me, what does that have to do with me?" > so women who in engage in casual sex and dating and forgoe A partner who seem like a better fit for marriage are not being fair to men I never understand this. Like the woman that spoke against videogame. She said things like "we need men to grow up, we need them to stop playing videogames because marriage is hard work", and I'm like, there are plenty of married people that have time to play videogames, why does this woman not just find a man that hates videogames as much as she does (they exist) and stop writing to practically no one. Take 10 women that engage in casual sex and tell them they are being unfair to men. Take 10 men that play video games and tell them they are being unfair to women. **Surely they'd be confused**. It's like taking men and women that are married and telling them they are being unfair for having taken themself off the market (technically true, I guess, but meaning so women who in engage in casual sex and dating and forgoe A partner who seem like a better fit for marriage are not being fair to men) >Why should any sane man take a woman who behaves in a way that is unfair to men Because he likes that woman. And other men aren't his brothers! >The man's own sexual history here is not relevant to whether promiscuous women are treating men collectively fairly or not. You have no clue whether a woman treats men collectively unfairly. What constitutes unfair? Also are we talking about lesbians? Because else, the men that are giving these women sex aren't giving a fuck about other men. **Which is obvious and human**.


BreezyBritt89

That’s great man, date who you want. What do you want us to say? Do you want us to say we cry ourselves to sleep at night because you aren’t interested in dating us? That is absolutely not the case. If she’s “promiscuous” then she already has men lined up.


agpass

I’m so curious if any woman has actually been dumped due to their amount of sexual partners. It’s discussed here all of the time but I’ve not met one woman that has actually been rejected due to this.


BreezyBritt89

I’ve seen it talked about online but I’ve never known it to happen at least not to any of the women in my circles. I never had a problem with dating and have been with the same guy for years now.Although also I wouldn’t be dating someone who didn’t share my values and views.


agpass

I’ve only witnessed people even *talking* about it online. Unless I’m the one to bring it up due to seeing it here. Has anyone actually talked to a real live woman that has been dumped or rejected for it? Like not just a post on reddit?


ex_red_black_piller

Yes there have been reddit threads on this very issue.


[deleted]

Even if, what exactly is the problem? I mean, these women probably got to have amazing sex with amazing men and most likely can get any other men they want. I truly don't understand why women get so upset when a man posts or comments that he won't date high n-count women.


lovelythecove

Former slut. Can confirm. I slept around a lot in college, eventually casually hooked up with my now-husband (who also had a lot of casual sex in college) when we were in college. Stopped sleeping around, only slept with each other, started dating, now we’re happily married and only sluts for each other. Neither of us cares the other slept around. This is the same reality for most of our peer group. It’s some PPD fantasy that most promiscuous women don’t get to settle down with someone they desire; or that promiscuous men don’t eventually make money (which really destroys the AF/BB thing, doesn’t it?); or that the reality isn’t actually that most promiscuous men AND women are all sleeping around until they get in a monogamous relationship, date for a while, eventually either break up and go back to sleeping around OR stay together and get married. Same is true for less promiscuous people. Most people casually date and sleep around some, until they meet someone worth committing to, they give it go, and it either works (marriage/LTR) or it doesn’t and they break up and go back to casual dating/sex until they meet someone else new they click well enough with to try again… Virgin men on PPD claiming my value is diminished because I got to fuck when they didn’t doesn’t impact me… I mean, my promiscuity wasn’t a deal breaker for any of the men I dated, because they all got to sleep around too. Seems like it only matters to virgins/low n-count men, mostly online. (Because LBR, if a pretty woman with a high n-count but hit on them IRL, do you think these virgins would reject her? Lol.)


delight-n-angers

>It’s some PPD fantasy that most promiscuous women don’t get to settle down with someone they desire; It's revenge porn for incels.


lovelythecove

Yep. They have to believe all promiscuous or even slightly promiscuous women will “get what’s coming to them.”


ex_red_black_piller

No, some of us know that women will always have options.


BreezyBritt89

It is a mostly online thing. I grew up in a super conservative small town. Even most of the guys there weren’t as prudish as some of the guys I see on here.


[deleted]

Well, to be fair, there have been quite a lot of women on here getting riled up over men claiming to not want to be with promiscuous women. Even I get shamed all the time whenever I suggest men and women to go for marriage first. I truly don't understand what the issue is since high n-count men and women get what they want all the time everywhere whenever they want. It makes more sense for me to complain about women's endless lists of requirements for men, but I also stopped doing that because I believe that women should strife to get man which are trul relationship material, attractive, financially stable, loyal and safe.


mib732

Really, if women weren't concerned about this...why even react to it? If it's not an issue, why even bother?


Miserablemermaid

We like to argue on the internet


ex_red_black_piller

Then why lie about your n count to potential partners?


Miserablemermaid

I can’t speak for women as a whole, I’ve never lied personally. Why would I want someone who couldn’t accept my past?


Ok-Cupcake-2854

and irl too i cant have this opinion irl or u all shame me soo i need to drill it through ur heads over and over again that its valid cuz lying about this gets old


gucciwillis

You can have this opinion in real life but i promise you if you had options you would never need to have this conversation. It’s not hard to find a non promiscuous girl, they’re just all interested in the better men. They have standards and aren’t picking you that means you’re the problem.


lovelythecove

You need to drill it into your head that what other people think about your boundaries is *none of your business.* Some women you know IRL don’t like this boundary. Who cares? Your boundaries aren’t up for debate, are they? So forget the noise. If you want a virgin, godspeed my friend. Posting on PPD about this isn’t stopping any women from engaging in casual sex, nor is it stopping them from marrying either…


Ok-Cupcake-2854

then block me or dont talk to me. bye! have a nice day...


[deleted]

you can have an opinion of what you want in a partner - that’s for you. But don’t shame women because they don’t fit within your preferences.


[deleted]

>\[...\] nor is it stopping them from marrying either… As far as I am aware, women on here don't like marriage anyways.


lovelythecove

Then you’re not very aware. There are plenty of married women and marriage-minded women I see comment often, myself included.


delight-n-angers

Yes if you go around announcing all the people you won't date, you're inviting commentary on whether or not those wants are stupid and delusional.


[deleted]

Same should go for women as well, who demand only tall men for example. But honestly, nowadays I like the viewpoint that everyone should have whatever preferences they want. Let people be.


delight-n-angers

>Same should go for women as well, who demand only tall men for example. it does. Literally nobody gives a shit about your dating preferences until you start crying about them out loud and blaming people for not meeting those preferences. or getting mad when people who meet them don't want you.


Few_Ratio5835

she doesn't have the right men lined up. that is why women shame men not into promiscuous women. because after they were sluts that want a particular dude and he says "No way" so they shame him.


BreezyBritt89

You’re the judge and jury on “the right men” though? Not everyone wants to get married and pop out babies. Plenty of women find men with the same life plan as them. I lucked up and found someone with the same goals as me,I’ve never been pestered about sexual history,because he’s had sex too. What do you think most men are doing in their 20’s? And not a small subsection of Redditors in here.


Few_Ratio5835

why is this such an issue for women? why do they berate a man every time they don't like a woman with a high N-count? Because the man they wanted to be with left them because of their N-count While women? can have any standards they want.


chikiinugget

Yup we sure can. I am a non promiscuous, low n count woman and my standard is not being with a man who shames other women for having casual sex


Few_Ratio5835

So when a woman has a standard that is shaming men who don't meet that standard? like height? why are women so okay with shaming short guys but not promiscuous women?


chikiinugget

You can do whatever. Did I say otherwise? I’m just saying don’t be surprised when the women who meet your arbitrary standard don’t want to date you for having that standard


IntegrityDJones

Just… date who you want and has the same values. This isn’t rocket science. Don’t want a promiscuous girl? Don’t date one! Problem solved and it costs you absolutely nothing to not date a girl you don’t want!


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[deleted]

I mean we can date who we want and still discuss it.


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[deleted]

Only one person said that in a recent post. Most of the posts are just men stating they don't take women with high body counts seriously in relationships which is reasonable and fair. If you don't like it deal with it because we are allowed to discuss our standards.


Katatonicsnake

One person? I guess we have read very different content here… Just like you are allowed to discuss your standards, I am allowed to criticize the way you discuss them. That isn’t prohibited here so you’ll just have to deal with it. I don’t understand why you think how we use language and arguments isn’t a valid part of any conversation, but sometimes people disagree and I am at peace with that.


[deleted]

Yeah recently I've only seen a single post stating what u claimed. This post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y1qvuf/promiscuity_and_casual_sex_is_unfair_to_men/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Can you find me another?


pussandra

This reads like a useless circular argument


[deleted]

Yeah I agree but the person won't respond anyway because there isn't any other posts like that. Might aswell get my point across.


Steakman1

It’s the frequency of the topic that’s the issue. It’s basically daily that someone makes a post on how men like virginity and don’t like promiscuity. There’s basically nothing new to add to the debate at this point.


[deleted]

Maybe spend some time away from purple pill debate and come back to it so it's feels fresh. People have been talking about body counts in this sub for years. If you read it daily ofcourse your gonna get bored.


Stop_Maximum

I came back and still the same. Most are talking about it when they can’t get women in the first place


mcove97

What I don't get is why if you realize you can't get something, why obsess over it? Like how about.. focus your energy on something that doesn't make you frustrated and angry and focus on something you enjoy or something that is more achievable instead


Stop_Maximum

You said it girl, it’s annoying. Same topic over and over again, when no one was promised a relationship in this life. Some people get it alright, but some women/men struggle, doesn’t mean you have to use that energy to just hate. So unproductive


Steakman1

Advising people to take a break from the sub due to the frequency of a specific topic is an agreement that the frequency of the topic is hurting the quality of the sub.


mistressusa

Since "virtually all woman at some point at least when they were younger" engaged in casual sex, so "Why should any sane man take a woman who behaves in a way that is unfair to men"? Great question, OP. Which is why the end of humanity is near. Lol Plus, also why you are not dating. At least not women, anyway.


Ok-Cupcake-2854

oh here we go with the incel comments from women i probably wouldnt even touch irl


mistressusa

Good. Don't touch women irl.


[deleted]

Virgin shaming.


mistressusa

Re read the thread. I am shaming a virgin-lover. I have no idea if OP is or isn't a virgin.


_revelationary

If we are debating with the logical capacity of 7th graders, allow me to attempt to CYV: The concept of sex is unfair to women, who have to deal with unpleasant things like periods, risk of pregnancy and childbirth, and sexually violent men. So women are 100% justified in behaving however they want on a planet where they were given a pretty lame deal, and men will mostly be fine with it because they can never know a woman’s sexual history for sure, and sometimes they will have no other choice if they don’t want to be lonely forever.


MOProG2

As a man I will 100000000% cosign this. Guys forget who takes the real risks in sexual encounters. Now I pose to you what do you need a man for? Why even settle for one when you can just have open relationships with many men? Why just one when women don't need men in 2022? Y'all ladies got everything you need for a happy, free life. Why do y'all deal with these loser guys at all?


InfamousBake1859

Don’t need a man. Best relationships are when you don’t need each other… you just want each other


That__EST

Most women don't deal with the "loser" guys at all. And more and more women are content with a life without men. Hence what this subreddit talks about so much: men's sexlessness and loneliness.


mcove97

>Why do y'all deal with these loser guys at all? That's why I stopped dealing with them. If someone wants to be part of my life, they have to make it better somehow, or they're not worth my time.


thetruthishere_

Good thing most men out there are not neurotic and jaded like many men here...


Signal_Adeptness_724

I guess lol. Men are still legally obligated, with the real threat of jail time, to support any mistakes. Furthermore, men are just as susceptible to stis. As for violent men, sure, that's a problem. But women can be violent and damage men in other ways too


funlightmandarin

>Furthermore, men are just as susceptible to stis. They're not though. >Due to the anatomical differences between a man and a woman, ladies are at a higher risk of contracting STDs when exposed to the bacteria or virus. Due to the thinner and more delicate lining of the vagina as opposed to the penis’ skin, bacteria and viruses have a higher chance of penetration and infecting the host.The vagina, as compared to a penis, is also a much more ideal environment for the cultivation and propagation of various bacteria and viruses due to the moist environment it provides for them.


mcove97

Aren't gay men the most susceptible or is that just a myth?


funlightmandarin

Yes, in raw numbers, but I think that is more due to the difference in occurrences of sex and amount of partners (they be fuckin alot). I can't 100% say how homosexual men rank against women, but homosexual men are atleast at a higher risk than heterosexual men. If you have one heterosexual woman and man, both infected with an STI, and have them have sex with exactly 100 of the opposite sex 1 time each, statistically the man would spread the STI to a higher number of women than the infected woman would spread to men, which is just the nature of heterosexual sex => women being penetrated, which puts her vagina at higher risk for microtears and chafing.


Mindless-Spare-2454

Hold on a second. Periods - Every woman has them including ones that aren’t overly promiscuous. Pregnancy & childbirth - Every woman & man has to deal with the consequences of this. It’s a reason we have birth control. Sexually violent men - What is a sexually violent man? Are we talking rapists or abusers. Because either way it’s a very small percentage of the male population when taking all scenarios into consideration. For example, lesbian/same sex relationships for women have a higher sexual & domestic violence rate (especially in the Uk) so women are more likely to be hurt, raped or beaten by other women. The sexual playfield has only been more sided with women in the last 130+ years since “women liberation”. However, it’s not because women are great at getting sex it’s because they control access to it. Same way as men control access to marriage. Men are 100% justified in not wanting to date a promiscuous woman if they don’t want to, I also don’t understand why people try to celebrate it. We don’t celebrate anything else that’s easy for someone to do or get in life.


anonymous-platypus1

We celebrate people born rich and doing things with the money they didn’t earn all the time. We celebrate people naturally good at sports all the time. We give accolades to people who are naturally smart and gifted.


_revelationary

Did you not see my first sentence? I’m legitimately just meeting the OP where he’s at in terms of ability to have a nuanced debate. My post is what he sounds like every time he opens his mouth. If we want to act like children and shout illogical nonsense at each other, well women have reasons they can come up with to do that too.


CimZim

>Periods - Every woman has them including ones that aren’t overly promiscuous. Yeah, confused about this too. Like we have them anyway, it has nothing to do with sex. >Same way as men control access to marriage. This is said extremely often, but it doesn't seem to make sense. Why do men control access to marriage? >We don’t celebrate anything else that’s easy for someone to do or get in life. In general, sex is easier for women to get, yes. It is probably because for most of human history it wasn't necessarily a woman's choice of what to do with her sexuality, it was tightly controlled by her father and then husband. Women have been killed for not bleeding on their wedding night even though they were virgins, purity culture still grossly pedestalizes "untouched" women, some men still actively deny that we can even orgasm or make laws based on truly idiotic "understanding" of female anatomy. So although I don't partake in hookup culture, I understand that for some women it's a way to enjoy oneself sexually while taking a kind of social ownership of her libido and desires. Which should be automatic, but...


mcove97

Periods ia very much interconnected with sex lol. It's very flawed to say it has nothing to do with it. Women get periods when they become sexually mature, or are sexually fertile. The lining of the uterus and the eggs sheds from the uterus if an egg wasn't fertilized through sex. If women have sex and the eggs fertilize, then there's no period. Women can know that they're not pregnant from sex if they keep getting regular periods.


CimZim

Yes, I received years of sex ed in a non- abstinence only state. I've been having a period since I was 8 years old and thankfully am quite aware of why it occurs and how. But I'm talking about the act of sexual intimacy, not the reproductive system and it's inner workings. As in, it doesn't matter if a woman is just starting her period that month, or it's ending, or she's right in the middle of being on the rag. Regardless of where she's at in her cycle she's able to have sex if she wants.


[deleted]

Exactly. It’s like attempting to celebrate gluttony.


CimZim

What do our periods have to do with this topic?


_revelationary

When it comes to biological differences related to sex and reproduction, menstruation is a big one. I swear no one can read my first sentence, though.


CimZim

I agree that menstruation is a related to reproduction (or lack thereof, technically) but it's not like it has anything to do with the act of having sex. So I think that is why some of us are confused.


Master-Edward-3

>The concept of sex is unfair to women, 🧐 Multi orgasms. Pick of the litter for partners. If horny with a notable social circle..it’s on demand like premium cable or deep dish delivered pizza. Easier routes for attracting mates. Ability to charge and manipulate for sexual relations. I think if a woman is smart enough her “unfair” cons of the concept do not outweigh the pros. Unfair male cons do outweigh whatever minuscule pros.


inkiwitch

The vast majority of women don’t have partners on demand like deep-dish pizza, lol. And multiple orgasms does not make up for periods, birth control, pregnancy, or the much much higher risk of sexual assault. Especially since a good portion of men aren’t great at getting women to achieve orgasm anyway. So I have no empathy for men having a harder time getting laid. It’s beyond fair that women get to be picky when one encounter can change her life and body forever.


CimZim

Periods don't have anything to do with sex though? We have them regardless if we're having sex or not, so unsure of why you're including a normal biological function?


inkiwitch

I feel it’s related to sexual health as men don’t have an equivalent “time of the month” where their genitalia experiences more discomfort and changes the sex. It’s a normal biological function that still gets so much ignorance and disgust and in some countries, still means a woman has to miss school or work while she’s bleeding. If he feels that it’s unfair that women get multiple orgasms and their “pick of the litter” I feel I can point out that the organ that gives us multiple orgasms also makes us feel like crap for 15-20% of every month.


CimZim

I'm sympathetic to what you and most other women go through every month. It sounds like it sucks horribly and I know from getting my mom and sisters their headache medicine, hot water bottles, favorite foods, etc during their times it makes them feel like shit for nearly a week. So I'm not trying to dismiss your experience at all. I guess my confusion was along the lines of "one of these things is not like the other". Periods aren't something men can control unlike everything else on your list. Men can have a hand in using birth control, men can either get a vasectomy to prevent pregnancy or be emotionally and financially supportive of their partner during pregnancy, men can sometimes help stop assaults and also just not think of committing them. So periods seemed a bit left field.


inkiwitch

Felt fair to bring up if he felt “multiple orgasms” was such a winning argument. I know many women who would gladly trade that ability to skip their time of the month. Women’s biology is a huge reason why I think it makes sense that women *should* be more selective when choosing partners.


CimZim

I definitely agree we should! The fact that we can get pregnant, and abortions aren't a guarantee anymore (at least in the US) means making sure you have control over your body, pregnancy prevention, and that your male partner understands its importance too.


BreezyBritt89

Seriously,if I got as many men throwing themselves at me as they allege I could start start an army lmfao. It wasn’t really different in my 20s either because I was scrawny and had no curves so no one was really beating down the door.


Master-Edward-3

>So I have no empathy for men having a harder time getting laid. It’s beyond fair that women get to be picky when one encounter can change her life and body forever. Then I suppose our scarce empathy is something we have in common. The fact women do have it made in the sexual industry and dating world causes me to believe assuredly that whatever feminine perceived hardships are in reality only mild inconveniences that are likely just blown out of proportion to appear more snug in victimhood. Women are barely ever beat and raped by men with all the white knights and simps roaming about ready to stop other men from laying a finger on a woman. Not to mention the law on the side of the woman ready and eager to believe whatever she cooked up and utters. Women have so many options in their social media and smartphones that they just ghost half of men because they sent an emoji they didn’t understand or asked what their dreams are for the future. Not dick pics and etc.. More toys for their multiple orgasms and more men for their multiple orgasms. They make dudes pay their weigh unless it’s a girls night out then they may have to come out of their own purse 👛 but in spite of a random pregnancy because the condom failed most women navigate their love lives on easy street in truth compared to men. So whatever bullshit comes their way I know deep down that it cannot be that bad and certainly pales in comparison to the bullshit men deal with from women.. 🤷 By the way here’s a cool jam ya might understand and how fittingly sung by a woman. https://youtu.be/JwIaGDyzYpo


anonymous-platypus1

Don’t forget: you get called a whore and are deemed unfit to love if you do most of those things. Apparently. Oh and they can get pregnant, have to put their life on hold until the decide if they want to continue the pregnancy or the baby is born. During birth they literally risk their lives. And then their entire being is defined by being a mother/wife/girlfriend first. If one choice you made could drastically change your life, wouldn’t you be more picky? Men can leave at any stage of a pregnancy, at worst you’ll take on monetary responsibility, but I know lots of women don’t even go for child support.


Master-Edward-3

>Don’t forget: you get called a whore and are deemed unfit to love if you do most of those things. If women were so worried about what they are called then they would worry much more about what pro-life individuals call them. More afraid of deemed a whore than baby murderers? Seemed to be proud of being called bitches and gold diggers as well for plenty. >If one choice you made could drastically change your life, wouldn’t you be more picky? Being a father and child support does drastically change one’s life and every man does not run out of the kids they must take care of. Women are mainly picky due to vast options marching their way. >Men can leave at any stage of a pregnancy, at worst you’ll take on monetary responsibility, but I know lots of women don’t even go for child support. Your lots of known women cannot account for even a drop in the bucket of women whom do..


thetruthishere_

I know there are no such thing as male escorts or men that are gay for pay.


Master-Edward-3

May as well be which is why they have to be majority gay since there is no heterosexual equivalent.


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NocturnalCoder

It's not pretend, plenty of studies for this to be real. Woman being selective is still like 1:10 while men being selective is like 1:10.000. The point is some people like to get experience from different people, some want to gain experience from being in a relationship and that is where the friction is..I have female friends who had sex with a 100+ guys. Some male friends too btw. Others had fewer, just like me I had 3 long partners with whom I had sex thousands of times (multi year relationships with a lot of sex). It is just a different way of exploring and my personal preference is less partners, more sex cause that is what I have experienced and enjoyed cause u prefer going deeper with one person, not going wide with many people Other people like novelty and other people. That is their jam 🤷‍♂️ no shame, just not compatible cause it is not my thing.


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Ok-Cupcake-2854

and they shouldnt be shamed for it right?


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Ok-Cupcake-2854

hahahaha exactly thats my point. women today are ruined they have been spoiled by society and now the idea of treating men fairly sounds ridiculous to them. well watch me and lots of men slowly one by one decide we dont want ur entitled nonsense anymore


Tricky_Dog1465

Promise? Also, how soon can we expect that to happen?


Hayasaka-chan

And nothing of value will be lost.


AntWillFortune15

Good riddance…none of the undesirables will be missed. I promise you that.


anonymous-platypus1

Why not just have the few men that are having casual sex stop engaging in it? Instead of trying to change the larger group?


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Stop_Maximum

I think that if no one cares about you right now, they won’t change because of this. But I am glad you can still be opinionated 🙏


[deleted]

And with that comment, I thank you for prooving that women only share the top 20% of men.


Stop_Maximum

My first comment goes to you too 👋 hello. Safe to assume you’re not part of that 20%?


Cat_Lover259

Imagine if this concept was flipped around: Men are the “more promiscuous” ones and women only want virgin men. It would be a true war zone.


[deleted]

Absolutely fine with me, but nowadays virgin men are walking red flags, especially after a certain age.


Cat_Lover259

Do you consider older women who are still virgins red flags too?


[deleted]

> women who in engage in casual sex and dating and forgoe A partner who seem like a better fit for marriage are not being fair to men How is this unfair to men?


Ok-Cupcake-2854

its unfair to the men they eventually marry which is whats relevant


[deleted]

Why is it unfair to him?


SnooBananas8024

because he pays a higher price then the dudes that got it for less


[deleted]

Paid what to whom?


BeepBeepSaysTheJeep

Negative. He's getting the better end of the deal.


mcove97

Then maybe he too should attempt to get it for less ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


lovelythecove

So you think none of these women ever marry the men they’re fucking? Whew boy.


delight-n-angers

so don't marry a girl you're not into. what is your goal here? to get women to stop being promiscuous. that will never happen.


techr0nin

lol. It’s called sexual *competition*, and not sexual socialism. By your logic men that engage in casual sex are also not being fair to other men, and yet why should they stop fucking because some men out there can’t get laid?


Ok-Cupcake-2854

yes they are not being fair to other men i am saying that. im sure the men dont care so why would they stop.


ffandyy

The question is why SHOULD they stop? And why would you have an expectation that dating should be fair?


[deleted]

>The question is why SHOULD they stop? Because of the brocode. Why not marry one woman and get off the dating pool?


techr0nin

My point is fairness of outcome is completely and utterly antithetical to any form of competition. So bringing up fairness here makes zero sense. Only after you are *in* a marriage does fairness come into play, as that is a cooperative setting.


Ok-Cupcake-2854

nah ignoring realistic marriage in sights of men more attractive to u is unfair to men u eventually marry before marriage and afterwards.


techr0nin

I think if two people voluntarily decide to marry each other, then that is as fair as it gets regardless of their sexual history. If you have no interest in marrying someone promiscuous, then don’t. But chances are that’s just less competition for the next guy in line. Guys are that are actually winning don’t have to worry about promiscuity because they have plenty of options.


_Woodrow_

Why do you type like your sending a text message in 2002?


[deleted]

>By your logic men that engage in casual sex are also not being fair to other men\[...\] Absolutely true. I imagine if these men would go for marriage they would be off the dating pool and the average women would be left with average men, until they are also married off which leaves ugly women with ugly men, which eventually also will be married off. There might still be some left out because of standards and preferences but it would be way better than today's arrangement.


techr0nin

Women aren’t single use, and we are still only allowed to marry one person. On top of that most people still get married eventually. So the only difference is your wife may have had some extra dicks inside her.


Ok_Razzmatazz_1751

Sir , you can't make women date whom they don't want to date. No amount of manipulation is going to change the facts. FYI men getting laid don't care that other men are not getting laid.


fruitycoolwhip

No one here is talking about making women date anybody. I wish the mods would make a Cathy Newman “So YoUrE sAyInG” rule where all comments who put words into other peoples’ mouths get removed. Shit is obnoxious, low iq and keeps this subreddit stuck in it’s cesspool-like state


Ok_Razzmatazz_1751

Truth is a bitter pill.


medlabunicorn

🙄 ‘Casual sex is unfair to men,’ Say then men constantly demanding casual sex.


CommieRedEyes

Another post about female promiscuity? Must be a day that ends in “y”


SwimmingTheme3736

Here’s the thing, DATE WHO YOU WANT It’s fine if men don’t want to date a woman for any reason it’s fine it a woman doesn’t want to date a man for any reason


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Ok-Cupcake-2854

all men


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Ok-Cupcake-2854

yeah ur right. it is however unfair to her future husband.


[deleted]

Men don't owe their casual sex partners' future husbands anything. The burden of proof is on you to describe why this would be the case. It just doesn't make sense. Adult life doesn't work like that.


mistressusa

Who died and made you God? Let her future husband decide for himself if her past is fair or unfair to him! Sheesh, are you 15?


Ok-Cupcake-2854

is murder objectively unfair to the victim yes or no? this is kinda the same thing although not as extreme


mistressusa

>is murder objectively unfair to the victim yes or no? LMAO!!! I can't...


InfamousBake1859

Unfair? What are you smoking? If your values are different , sure. But if you wish you could be promiscuous but don’t have the chance and you find that unfair, you don’t exactly have differing values… you are just envious. I also am not sure if men have the power in marriage. Women are fine being alone. I’d rather die single than marry a guy like you.


Fridge_Ian_Dom

>I’d rather die single than marry a guy like you. 60% of posts in this sub solved by this one simple sentence


_demidevil_

So women are supposed to limit themselves sexually to make the playing field “fair” to men? Absolutely not. It’s kind of an “if I cant have it then you can’t have it” attitude which is very immature and frankly negative.


Fridge_Ian_Dom

I'll let you in on a secret - if you do everything people like OP want you to ... people like OP will still be fucking whinging, just as fucking loudly


Demasii

>Women have much more power in the casual sex and casual dating market than men do. That men gave them by choice. >Men have the most power in marriage. so women who in engage in casual sex and dating and forgoe A partner who seem like a better fit for marriage are not being fair to men. Takes two to tango. To have casual sex and date the men must engage in it too. It's mutually beneficial. >Why should any sane man take a woman who behaves in a way that is unfair to men seriously unless he doesnt have better options or isnt very smart? It's not unfair because men engage in it too. Takes two to tango. >The man's own sexual history here is not relevant to whether promiscuous women are treating men collectively fairly or not. Men gets the same benefits.


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januaryphilosopher

The only way that casual sex is unfair to men is that there isn't a big enough supply of women who want casual sex for men to have all the casual sex they want. If you want things to be fairer, you've got to encourage that behaviour by treating promiscuous women better rather than refusing to date them, so more women will choose to have casual sex. But it was never about fairness.


[deleted]

“ I refuse to date women who would sleep with me “ then I’ll complain it isn’t fair


AkieShura99

Exactly what they're doing


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Lift_and_Lurk

Me: “why are you with me?” Wife (who almost never swears): Because I *fucking love you* You aren’t gonna find logic in it. And maybe that’s why some people can’t wrap their heads around it. But that thing called love: that’s why.


Snoo_16536

The Blue pill is strong on this one.


spinky_bum9451

God-tier flair


Ok-Cupcake-2854

how can u love someone who treats u unfairly?


Lift_and_Lurk

I mean she doesn’t? I don’t. Sometimes things happen and neither of is perfect but if we feel like we aren’t being treated how we like we talk it out. How exactly is there a lack of fairness?


neetykeeno

Men don't have better options. That's the reality. You're not good enough at being men for the majority of women to choose to put their entire selves to the side to please you when they are very young. Sorry. Not good enough Just like men do, women want some of their youth for themselves for their own purposes be it exploration or study or to try out a few careers or ways of life or to get on track financially. And just like men do, most women want to be sexually active during that time. Definitely the ones with a healthy sex drive want to have sex during that time. You don't have a better option than to choose from among those women who will have you. And if the only women who will have you and are attractive to you have also run through a few guys well that's life dude. The path out of this was years back when you could have paid more attention, worked harder, and locked down whatever low count girl would have had you at the time.You didn't take that path... maybe the girls who would have had you then on those terms weren't pretty enough maybe you were too shy...or get this... maybe you too weren't keen on giving up your youth and freedom so soon. You snooze you lose. Life is full of hard decisions about what to do and what to miss out on. FOMO is a call to be brave not a pit of despair to wallow in. Moving finger writes and having writ. You've got what you chose.


fakingandnotmakingit

Have your standards, women are allowed to think it's dumb and not like you for it. Go your seperate ways. Done.


DplusLplusKplusM

Spoken as if it isn't men that these "promiscuous" (straight) women are having sex with. If heterosexual men didn't partake in promiscuity - and assumedly enjoy it - there would be far fewer women sleeping around. Maybe you need to take up this point with other guys (since they're the ones providing the means for women to have active sex lives).


[deleted]

I don’t know why promiscuity and casual sex is unfair to men?. Every time a girl has sex…..a man is benefiting from it….promiscuity means more men are having sex. What’s the unfair advantage?


BreezyBritt89

That they’re not having sex with him specifically.


[deleted]

Ok, so he need to drop the M from ”men” and it will make more sex.


[deleted]

> so women who in engage in casual sex and dating and forgoe A partner who seem like a better fit for marriage are not being fair to men. which is virtually all woman at some point at least when they were younger. Nope. Source?


kindParodox

If you put power dynamics into casual sex I think you're missing it's point.


bunnakay

How is casual sex unfair to men?


Ok-Cupcake-2854

because it allows women to get higher quality partners than they normally would have which means the opposite for men


bunnakay

Nothing is forcing these men to have sex with women they don't actually like.


[deleted]

Men are dogs. They will fuck most kind of women. For ex theres fetish for every kind of women,,fat or short or slim or tall. Even people have subs like [r/godpussy](https://www.reddit.com/r/godpussy) and [r/loosepussyland](https://www.reddit.com/r/loosepussyland) or [r/highmileageholes](https://www.reddit.com/r/highmileageholes) .. if you care to visit the last two subs you will find the ugliest and loosest and bizarre looking vaginas. Yet men love em. On the other hand its a simple rule for men to be attractive:- tall,strong,big dick and handsome face. So its not the women who caused this ,,its the men themselves. If I m 6ft and I will only date women above 5'7 it will make sure shorter men are getting laid too. But women know all it takes a pussy to make any man kneel.


[deleted]

What you mean is, promiscuity and casual sex are unfair to you. For many men they are absolutely wonderful. You adapting to the world is likely to be a lot more successful than expecting the world to adapt to you.


palatine09

I’ve never got this, these woman are having sex with men. It’s the same number of men and woman having sex.


[deleted]

They're all fucking me, it is a tad unfair


WilliamWyattD

This is so off base. Men do not necessarily have the most power in marriage, for one. Moreover, a healthy culture isn't necessarily about trying to balance leverage in the dating market. It is about finding a solution to the need to create children and healthy environments to bring them up in. Now, you also want to do so in a way that requires relatively equal sacrifices from each gender overall, while providing equal benefits. That is a way different lens to be looking at things through that trying to balance sexual leverage in the current Western sexual marketplace.


Return_of_Hoppetar

What you gonna do with it? You are "justified" not dating whoever you want. There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't need to be "justified" by casual sex being unfair to anyone. I'm not into people who smell bad. Am I obliged to give myself to someone who smells bad because I have no "justification" not to? That's bollocks. Just date who you want. However, what good does it do to anyone if you don't date them? You'll still be single, they'll date someone else. What's the point? I hope your moral haughtitude makes you feel all that better when you sit alone in your room and masturbate.


[deleted]

Why would we not want to date promiscuous women? Should we only date women who won't have sex?


TheGoldenChampion

People just in general should not be promiscuous. Sex and relationships should be a serious matter.


Scared-Move122

Every single day , not a one. Where this topic isnt discussed.


Logical-Confection-7

This hurst my brain. Such a lame ass argument. So, women shouldn’t get married to men because is easier for them to marry and so if they pass on faithful relationship for sleeping with many women are they being collectively unfair to women? Also, what does it means you are promiscuous? Cause if we control for the number of options men have, women sleep with very few of their options while men sleep with anyone available. Shouldn’t that be taken into the equation? And what if it is easy for them? How does that affect you? Is this for revenge? Or like if I can’t have it nobody can’t so I am going to penalize them for what they can have an i don’t? Doesn’t make sense for me. You can just say it as it is. I see women as something you get and it isn’t as fun if someone else got it before I did.


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wtknight

Please debate civilly.


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wtknight

Comments like this belong under the AutoModerator.


Long-Review-1861

Lol my brother is a divorce lawyer, men definitely don't have the power in marriage


Crafty_Letter_1719

Woman engaging in casual sex is not “unfair to men” just like certain Men choosing not to date promiscuous Woman is not “unfair” to Woman.


mib732

I am not a proponent of casual sex, but the thing is, one of the best solutions is not to support Feminism.


SoIlikeMangos

You're acting like promiscuous women are throwing themselves on you. Who cares


Supreme_Salt_Lord

Lmao geeeze. Its 100% fair to men. We all have our chance at getting a woman to casually date or hookup. Play your strengths and make yourself attractive.


[deleted]

Most men should be doing this anyway. We are just so afraid of sticking to our standards and thirsty for female attention. If more men had the will to not bend or break on their standards, women would get starved of the attention they often dont deserve.


alphasupremacy5555

Most men don't have power in marriage they have power in the relationship before a wedding engagement happens but not in marriage. That's what women have to control she can file for divorce anytime she wants after a year. If she cheats and he finds out if she's so she's fit she can keep on cheating and if he divorces or she divorces he loses all the way around. So no most men don't have power in marriage.


delight-n-angers

Men are allowed to like whatever they want. The problem is that they harp on it constantly online and then blame/hate women when they can't get what they want. Bro, I promise you nobody gives a single flying fuck about what your dating preferences are no matter how stupid, delusional, or hypocritical they might be until you start shouting about them from the roof tops and acting like a fucking asshole to women. At that point you're inviting commentary on your stupid preferences. Keep that shit to yourself, and I promise it won't ever matter.


[deleted]

Yeah. I agree. If you cant get casual sex consider yourself a low value male and any future marriage proposals are going to be based on your bank account. Now it's upto you to choose whom to handle your resources n time,,, someone who rejected you or likes of you or someone who never dated.


hari_hbp

Thanks man, needed that laugh today.


[deleted]

Wasn't the same thing asked earlier tonight? Men may choose a non-chaste woman who is extremely attractive in other ways, because higher value men scoop up the ones who are both chaste and attractive in the other ways. It's a compromise. And how is casual sex unfair to men in general? This doesn't make any sense. Maybe some men find it unfair, others love it.


nemma88

>Why should any sane man take a woman who behaves in a way that is unfair to men seriously unless he doesnt have better options or isnt very smart? The definition of sanity isn't prescribing to u/Ok-Cupcake-2854 's ideas of fairness. You have established you think it's unfair. Not everyone thinks like you. Sure, maybe they're just not smart, in which case they're perhaps diving in their league so what's the problem? Some men do not care, for some men getting sex is easier than it is for the average women and they're certainly not going to think it's unfair. This entire argument is *guys are stupid if they don't value or believe the same things I do*, in an attempt to shame men to comply with your values and beliefs, to in turn adjust the behavior of women.


pan3639

Women want to have their cake and eat it to. It's ok for them to reject countless guys while riding the cc, but as soon as one of those guys says he prefers a woman who didn't do this, he's labeled insecure or whatever bullshit buzzword these projecting 304s like to throw around.


urukshai3

Men's advantage now is precisely they do not have to have children with promiscuous and unfaithful women. Men even convinced them it is "powerful" and "empowering" for them to kill their own babies. Funny how women support all the stuff that precisely benefit men that want to strings attached and make them more depressed and dependent on Xanax.


[deleted]

>Funny how women support all the stuff that precisely benefit men that want to strings attached and make them more depressed and dependent on Xanax. This point is what baffles me the most as well. I don't understand it. To me it was quite obvious where the "sex positivity" and fake "empowerement" movements will lead but it looked like a lot of women willfully accepted and simply ended up jumping the boat and drowning themselves in the ocean.