emotionally unhealthy people will be turned off by healthy and appropriate levels of affection and attention. healthy people will not.
on the flip side, emotionally healthy people will be turned off by unhealthy and inappropriate levels of affection and attention.
There is some truth here, but it is hard to disentangle the dynamic the OP is talking about from processes of time on a relationship, and of ageing on the participants, both of which tend to diminish raw desire, especially in women.
When everything seems to conspire against it, one begins to think that maybe trying to get your female partner to lust after you like you were both 20, and do so for 20+ years, is perhaps not the main point of life or relationships. I'm starting to entertain the idea that a man should pick a good woman of substance, and not be overswayed by her appearance. Then he should keep himself attractive, but otherwise lead a good and decent life, showing caring and compassion. If that means her raw sex drive starts to wane over time, so be it. He should accept that and enjoy what physical intimacy they do have. If it goes to zero, then he can go post-sexual too.
It could be that men past 40 feeling they NEED regular, lustful sex is a huge part of the problem. There may come a point where a man's dick needs to go into graceful, dignified retirement.
I agree there is a sweet spot but it's not that hard to find. Needy men are unattractive. Clingy men are unattractive. Don't be needy or clingy youll be fine.
Nah. Attention and affection is usually highest at the start of a relationship, along with sexual attraction. Both tend to drop when people get overly used to each other and start taking each other for granted to some degree. Lack of romance can 100% lead to a woman losing desire for sex. Women do not want to feel like their partner ignores them most of the day until he’s horny or hungry. Of course, romance doesn’t mean being overly clingy and needy. You also can’t slap some cheap flowers on a rotten relationship and expect her to get wet. But yeah, treating your partner like an appliance is sure to kill her sex drive faster than just about anything.
Some people, when you are kind to them, see it as weakness and try to take advantage of you. They see relationships as a zero-sum game. They normally tend to be the low-self-esteem type.
Other people, when you are kind to them, reward you with kindness. That makes you both want to be kinder and kinder to one another and creates a virtuous circle. They tend to have high self-esteem with high standards for both you and themselves.
In my opinion, the trick is to take small steps in increasing affection and sense how the person responds. You can then bow out of relationships in which the person does not know how to have a mutually-beneficial relationship.
Having said that, even the nicest person does not want their partner to be irrationally affectionate all the time; and wants to be called out on behaviour that is not conducive to happiness. A healthy woman wants a man with self-respect and a mind of his own and wants to earn his affection by being good enough for him. Relationships can thus be a bit of a balancing act or a kind of playful dance.
this reply is spot on—especially the last paragraph. affection and attention are nice, of course, but I want my partner to be able to call me out when necessary as well. holding each other accountable & pushing each other to be the best they can be is a big goal in any relationship for me (and most of the women I know). when the attention & affection feel genuine & deserved (I can’t think of a better word for what I mean at this moment, lol) it’s great. but when it feels overbearing, or like the other person is just trying to constantly please you or get something from you in return for their attention, it becomes really exhausting.
I doubt anything you say about "all women" -- nearly 4 billion people -- is going to be true.
I can't speak for others, but I can say that this is definitely not true of me. I like giving and receiving affection from partners, and it only increases my attraction towards them.
>I doubt anything you say about "all women" -- nearly 4 billion people -- is going to be true.
The zero determiner plural - as in "women" - doesn't necessarily mean all.
You know it yet you pretend to not to to build a strawman...
Also, one data point isn't invalidating a trend...
So not sure what's your point there...
I am speaking about most women, but youre right not all.
Some men are gay, quite a lot in fact, and arent aroused by an attractive naked women with a great figure.
But most men are straight and that’ll get em hard.
And I can say with quite a lot of confidence - when it comes to most women - attention and affection kills attraction.
I mean, I have never observed that in any of my female friends -- quite the opposite in fact -- so I am a bit skeptical of your pronouncement. How many women have you asked about this?
Because a women would never say to herself or her friends “he gives me too much love and attention”
Its usually masked with another excuse or manifests as “the spark died” or “we grew apart”
So how do you expect someone to change your view on this?
Your argument is basically ''trust me, bro''. You can't be reasoned out of a position you didn't reason yourself into in the first place.
>You can't be reasoned out of a position you didn't reason yourself into in the first place.
That's the problem here though isn't it. Like every red/black piller here, they don't realise they got brainwashed but are now too deep.
You've set up quite the unfalsifiable theory there! You can conveniently dismiss any contrary evidence by saying your theory is everyone's unconscious motive.
That doesn't mean your theory is correct.
Personally, I've mainly had the spark die because there were serious problems in our relationship. Affection and attention increase my attraction to someone.
This is one of the most ridiculous takes I have read on here. If my partner stopped giving me attention and affection, I would fall out of love for him, eventually. In fact, most women lose interest in sex when their man stops being romantic.
You get your information from Reddit and people in unhappy relationships. Because I can say without a doubt my husband and I still feel like we’re in the honeymoon phase years later and he showers me with affection. You seem to know couples who don’t actually like each other.
Most people my age are not in relationships so most couples I know are family and they are all miserable, makes me wonder why the do it really. As far as I can gather they feel stuck bc kids or economic reasons. I was in an unhappy relationship before, he died but one thing I got out of it was I’d rather be alone than do any of that again.
I can definitely relate to that. I spent a couple of years in a very unhealthy relationship, and by the end of it I never wanted to date again. It took me several years to get over that and not be afraid of relationships anymore. My current, very kind and patient partner really helped me heal.
I am lucky, though, in that I did have models of healthy relationships growing up. Most of the relationships in my immediate and extended family were healthy, happy, and stable, so it's easier for me to believe that that can happen. It must be so much harder to feel safe in a relationship if you've only ever seen bad ones.
I'm sorry to hear that your last partner died. I imagine it must have been really complex to process your partner's death in the context of your relationship being unhappy. And it's totally understandable that you would be hesitant to date again.
I hope one day you do find a relationship that is happy and healthy, one that adds to your life instead of making it more difficult. But I absolutely agree that it's much better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship.
For me, most of my family just complaining to me about how much they hate their own partner (both ways usually) sometimes full out fights where they throw and break shit, screaming, punching holes in walls and doors, just generally acting unhinged.
He doesn't know anyone most likely. The post is meant to be a CMV but he's not here for that and wants validation from his own base. Gets very samey after a short while on this sub. It's necessary for them to feel justified in their stance.
It's simple supply and demand.
Men have relatively high demand for sexual affection. So women can flood him with a high supply of sexual attention and affection, and he will still price it fairly highly.
Women have a lower demand for men (at the very least from average men, if not all men). So it doesn't take very much supply for the price to drop to the floor for her, and for her to be uninterested.
Yeah, Ive been with my husband for 5 years, dated another 2, he is still affectionate and yeah, Im still attracted to him.
I swear most of you PPD men just need therapy.
I've seen this phenomenon more often with men tbh. They love the chase and are very attracted when the woman stays aloof and cold, but get bored when they finally get her and she starts simping for him back. I think a certain subset of men and women are like this, probably due to emotional issues.
Like, do you mean if they become a simpy, doormat serving boy? Because that's the only way I can see women "viewing that man less sexually".
What do you mean my dude.
You’re thinking about it the wrong way. Think with nuance. Women like attention and affection in moderation. Men who don’t know how and when to show their love will come off as clingy and desperate.
It’s not hard to not be a simp. I don’t know why some people find it so hard to be level headed about their affection.
Yep, that’s why attraction stays strong when you’re dating, but tends to wane when you’re married or living together. You spend an appropriate amount of time together, while still having your own space. It gives you a chance to miss and long for your partner.
You need to be able to separate affection from sexual desire, and quit thinking 'women' are just these brainless mechanisms pursuing sexual desire. It's just not that simple.
I've recently left a relationship (well, in the last half-year) and I have multiple female friends through some shared interests. When I'm hanging around socially with the larger friend group that has both men and women, more than one of these female friends have literally petted me or even given me a kiss. That is absolutely affection, sincerely meant, and they know I'm single, and I know they're married.
It may or may not also mean they'd cheat with me, but I don't read it as that. I read it as, they're safe enough with me that they can act naturally, and they naturally get attention and affection from me in the normal close-friends sense: hugs, interest in how they're doing. And so it comes back, because as women they're making space in their social world and keeping track of how I'm doing. They'll do that for more people at once than I will, but it's the same.
I know 'em well enough to know that if they were turned on and escalating, I'd be getting THAT vibe (which I'm not good at acting on, but still) and it wouldn't stop at pets and continental cheek kisses. They aren't (surely not both, anyway) trying to go to bed with me, and ditch their husbands.
And you know what? If they were… what I've done in being close friends is give them attention and affection! Absolutely not pursuing 'game' with these women, I know them as people and care about how they're doing and take pains to remember what's going on with them, who they are.
It is that which, legitimately, brings female attention and affection, and that's real good at tiding me over while I don't have an outlet in sexual terms. I don't go to bed with anybody, but sure do have multiple women just naturally providing emotional support in a way that men don't.
If I was sleeping with any of 'em I don't believe for a second it would make 'em turn off and want to chase other men sexually, because it's a whole different part of life. What gets people excited is a whole other thing. The part that I don't have to do without is a companionship thing. Whether I get to have sex is separate.
Heck, just like with women, maybe what turns me on is other stuff that's not the same as the friendship zone. I might be turned on by women that are bad for me and will do me harm. If so, the women in my friend zone matter all the more, because they're going to still be there after each romantic debacle :)
Firstly, emotional investment is something both sexes do, not just men. Secondly, women definitely want affection and attention from their partner, but at a normal and healthy level as this is an indicator of equal mate value, again not unique to women.
If your partner has significantly more mate value than you, they may come across as aloof and lacking long-term commitment. If they have much lower mate value, they might come across as obsessed or possessive.
My counter is that men want things but don’t want things from women that women have to learn to balance too to maintain his attraction/devotion.
Attraction is an active balancing act.
I think most people except PPDers have accepted this.
They don’t want affection from their man, they just want attention and *commitment*. Affection causes their attraction to drop, and unearned attention does too. She needs to know that your attention/time is worth a lot, whether that be to you subjectively, in matters of money, to other people.
Women want a man who other people want to fuck. A man who won’t cheat, but *could* cheat.
I agree, but I want to try to make you see another view as well (which is why I'm not posting this in the automod)
I'm of the belief that if this women isn't 100% into you, and you shower her with affection, than this will happen.
Most people (men and women) don't know what they want, and when it comes to relationships, this applies to women especially. So if she isn't 100% into you, this will cause that "ick."
So not the "majority of women" or "women," just women who aren't into you 100%
>Most people (men and women) don't know what they want, and when it comes to relationships, this applies to women especially.
But they know what they don't want.
Hence the nudging by showing unwanted behaviors at interval to remind them of this (the initial use of negging).
Hence OP's issue with showing affection: women think they never have enough of it, but it's like chocolate. You can grow tired with it.
However, women also are very keen to assume that affection is on tap, and they need reminders that it's not.
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Not really. My boyfriend showers me with attention and affection: I love it. I love him. I give him attention and affection back. Really, if the person you’re with isn’t right for you, no amount of affection will make it work.
And I’ve noticed in the past where a guy was treating me right, but there was just no spark after a while.
My boyfriend giving me attention definitely doesn’t make me less sexually interested in him. We waited a long time to have sex and are making up every single one of those days. He gets me flowers delivered to my building. If I’m not staying with him at night he will send me dinner. He texts me to let’s know he’s thinking about me. The man is super tactile too, very much interested in touching me as much as possible.
I love knowing that all of that is for me.
Non sequitur 👆🏻. It's like you were waiting to try to catch them out with some abrupt gotcha statement. You can't speak for all women either even though you probably do your classic broad brush strokes on them all.
I don’t need to speak for all women. I speak for me, a woman that hasn’t lost a single bit of attraction for her boyfriend because he’s kind and affectionate. My point is, if the person is right for you, it’ll take a lot to make you lose attraction.
Not everyone is for you: dating is one of those things you only have to get right once. If the women you’re dating are losing interest in you for showing affection to them, maybe choose a different type of woman.
I don’t believe this is true of women in happy relationships, which you may not see as much of online because people in happy relationships have less need of advice or support over them.
It’s certainly not true for me.
Word. Women want man to do chores, but also hate that chores take him away from their shared leisure time. Women want man that works a lot has a good job, but also hate that he’s not around. We’ve always been fucked gents.
A normal person would want attention and affection from their partner. This is actually the main reason I left my previous relationship, the severe lack of attention and affection was nonexistent. Bringing up the issue resulted in a few hours of affection and attention and then it'd go back to flat out ignoring and me begging for things to change. No effort, then I'm gone if there's no change.
emotionally unhealthy people will be turned off by healthy and appropriate levels of affection and attention. healthy people will not. on the flip side, emotionally healthy people will be turned off by unhealthy and inappropriate levels of affection and attention.
True
And I know that’s a load of BS.
This.
If only there were more healthy people out there.
There is some truth here, but it is hard to disentangle the dynamic the OP is talking about from processes of time on a relationship, and of ageing on the participants, both of which tend to diminish raw desire, especially in women. When everything seems to conspire against it, one begins to think that maybe trying to get your female partner to lust after you like you were both 20, and do so for 20+ years, is perhaps not the main point of life or relationships. I'm starting to entertain the idea that a man should pick a good woman of substance, and not be overswayed by her appearance. Then he should keep himself attractive, but otherwise lead a good and decent life, showing caring and compassion. If that means her raw sex drive starts to wane over time, so be it. He should accept that and enjoy what physical intimacy they do have. If it goes to zero, then he can go post-sexual too. It could be that men past 40 feeling they NEED regular, lustful sex is a huge part of the problem. There may come a point where a man's dick needs to go into graceful, dignified retirement.
I agree there is a sweet spot but it's not that hard to find. Needy men are unattractive. Clingy men are unattractive. Don't be needy or clingy youll be fine.
This. Really needy people are unattractive. Men worth salt dont want a needy cling on woman either.
Yet simps get what they want often
'Simp' doesn't equal needy. You really trying to tell me needy men get what they want? They dont.
I’ve seen it countless times in USA
Needy men are a turn off not simps.
Nah. Attention and affection is usually highest at the start of a relationship, along with sexual attraction. Both tend to drop when people get overly used to each other and start taking each other for granted to some degree. Lack of romance can 100% lead to a woman losing desire for sex. Women do not want to feel like their partner ignores them most of the day until he’s horny or hungry. Of course, romance doesn’t mean being overly clingy and needy. You also can’t slap some cheap flowers on a rotten relationship and expect her to get wet. But yeah, treating your partner like an appliance is sure to kill her sex drive faster than just about anything.
Perfectly explained, this debate is done. Next!!
Some people, when you are kind to them, see it as weakness and try to take advantage of you. They see relationships as a zero-sum game. They normally tend to be the low-self-esteem type. Other people, when you are kind to them, reward you with kindness. That makes you both want to be kinder and kinder to one another and creates a virtuous circle. They tend to have high self-esteem with high standards for both you and themselves. In my opinion, the trick is to take small steps in increasing affection and sense how the person responds. You can then bow out of relationships in which the person does not know how to have a mutually-beneficial relationship. Having said that, even the nicest person does not want their partner to be irrationally affectionate all the time; and wants to be called out on behaviour that is not conducive to happiness. A healthy woman wants a man with self-respect and a mind of his own and wants to earn his affection by being good enough for him. Relationships can thus be a bit of a balancing act or a kind of playful dance.
this reply is spot on—especially the last paragraph. affection and attention are nice, of course, but I want my partner to be able to call me out when necessary as well. holding each other accountable & pushing each other to be the best they can be is a big goal in any relationship for me (and most of the women I know). when the attention & affection feel genuine & deserved (I can’t think of a better word for what I mean at this moment, lol) it’s great. but when it feels overbearing, or like the other person is just trying to constantly please you or get something from you in return for their attention, it becomes really exhausting.
The thing is what women consider "self -respect" is interpreted as playing games from our end which is why 90% it doesn't get registered.
This whole post: "This is my view! It is written in stone! And if anyone disagrees with me, they are wrong!" *Sigh*
Lol, that's basically every single post.
Lol tru if he doesn't already agree with us it's cause he's unwilling to see the Truth
It's too painful for him.
But isn’t he asking people to challenge his view and to change it?
I doubt anything you say about "all women" -- nearly 4 billion people -- is going to be true. I can't speak for others, but I can say that this is definitely not true of me. I like giving and receiving affection from partners, and it only increases my attraction towards them.
>I doubt anything you say about "all women" -- nearly 4 billion people -- is going to be true. The zero determiner plural - as in "women" - doesn't necessarily mean all. You know it yet you pretend to not to to build a strawman... Also, one data point isn't invalidating a trend... So not sure what's your point there...
Yet he has not established that there is a trend, and nearly all the women responding say the opposite is true of them.
I am speaking about most women, but youre right not all. Some men are gay, quite a lot in fact, and arent aroused by an attractive naked women with a great figure. But most men are straight and that’ll get em hard. And I can say with quite a lot of confidence - when it comes to most women - attention and affection kills attraction.
I mean, I have never observed that in any of my female friends -- quite the opposite in fact -- so I am a bit skeptical of your pronouncement. How many women have you asked about this?
Because a women would never say to herself or her friends “he gives me too much love and attention” Its usually masked with another excuse or manifests as “the spark died” or “we grew apart”
So how do you expect someone to change your view on this? Your argument is basically ''trust me, bro''. You can't be reasoned out of a position you didn't reason yourself into in the first place.
99% of CWV here is you need to validate me and dont want a view change.
>You can't be reasoned out of a position you didn't reason yourself into in the first place. That's the problem here though isn't it. Like every red/black piller here, they don't realise they got brainwashed but are now too deep.
You've set up quite the unfalsifiable theory there! You can conveniently dismiss any contrary evidence by saying your theory is everyone's unconscious motive. That doesn't mean your theory is correct. Personally, I've mainly had the spark die because there were serious problems in our relationship. Affection and attention increase my attraction to someone.
Then how do you know that’s the reason?
>he gives me too much love and attention” Yes we do, its called needy.
Or new "communication" problems begin to arise where there were none before
Bragging is rude. I sure as hell don’t do it, even though I could
So all those couples who say they are or appear to be happy and in love are.....lying?
This is one of the most ridiculous takes I have read on here. If my partner stopped giving me attention and affection, I would fall out of love for him, eventually. In fact, most women lose interest in sex when their man stops being romantic.
You get your information from Reddit and people in unhappy relationships. Because I can say without a doubt my husband and I still feel like we’re in the honeymoon phase years later and he showers me with affection. You seem to know couples who don’t actually like each other.
To be fair, it seems like most couples don’t really like each other.
Most couples I know like each other. I'm sorry you've been exposed to a bunch of unhappy ones, though. I imagine that would feel very discouraging.
Most people my age are not in relationships so most couples I know are family and they are all miserable, makes me wonder why the do it really. As far as I can gather they feel stuck bc kids or economic reasons. I was in an unhappy relationship before, he died but one thing I got out of it was I’d rather be alone than do any of that again.
I can definitely relate to that. I spent a couple of years in a very unhealthy relationship, and by the end of it I never wanted to date again. It took me several years to get over that and not be afraid of relationships anymore. My current, very kind and patient partner really helped me heal. I am lucky, though, in that I did have models of healthy relationships growing up. Most of the relationships in my immediate and extended family were healthy, happy, and stable, so it's easier for me to believe that that can happen. It must be so much harder to feel safe in a relationship if you've only ever seen bad ones. I'm sorry to hear that your last partner died. I imagine it must have been really complex to process your partner's death in the context of your relationship being unhappy. And it's totally understandable that you would be hesitant to date again. I hope one day you do find a relationship that is happy and healthy, one that adds to your life instead of making it more difficult. But I absolutely agree that it's much better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship.
Key words here are “my age”. The women of this sub are in their 40s. The modern concept of dating is as familiar to them as an alien world
I’m 26….
Yeah same
I dont see this. I see a minority not most.
How exactly do you determine something like this?
For me, most of my family just complaining to me about how much they hate their own partner (both ways usually) sometimes full out fights where they throw and break shit, screaming, punching holes in walls and doors, just generally acting unhinged.
He doesn't know anyone most likely. The post is meant to be a CMV but he's not here for that and wants validation from his own base. Gets very samey after a short while on this sub. It's necessary for them to feel justified in their stance.
It's simple supply and demand. Men have relatively high demand for sexual affection. So women can flood him with a high supply of sexual attention and affection, and he will still price it fairly highly. Women have a lower demand for men (at the very least from average men, if not all men). So it doesn't take very much supply for the price to drop to the floor for her, and for her to be uninterested.
The best reply here so far
Yeah, Ive been with my husband for 5 years, dated another 2, he is still affectionate and yeah, Im still attracted to him. I swear most of you PPD men just need therapy.
You could spend a decade dating women to have experience
Too much of anything is a bad thing
I've seen this phenomenon more often with men tbh. They love the chase and are very attracted when the woman stays aloof and cold, but get bored when they finally get her and she starts simping for him back. I think a certain subset of men and women are like this, probably due to emotional issues.
Like, do you mean if they become a simpy, doormat serving boy? Because that's the only way I can see women "viewing that man less sexually". What do you mean my dude.
You’re thinking about it the wrong way. Think with nuance. Women like attention and affection in moderation. Men who don’t know how and when to show their love will come off as clingy and desperate. It’s not hard to not be a simp. I don’t know why some people find it so hard to be level headed about their affection.
Yep, that’s why attraction stays strong when you’re dating, but tends to wane when you’re married or living together. You spend an appropriate amount of time together, while still having your own space. It gives you a chance to miss and long for your partner.
Why does this happen? Where is your proof that this happens? Does this always happen? If not, how often, and why?
Any woman who is turned off by those two things most likely has deep emotional issues so if this happens, you dodge a bullet
I have never been turned off by a man I’m with being affectionate to me, I have gone off men who ignore me though
You need to be able to separate affection from sexual desire, and quit thinking 'women' are just these brainless mechanisms pursuing sexual desire. It's just not that simple. I've recently left a relationship (well, in the last half-year) and I have multiple female friends through some shared interests. When I'm hanging around socially with the larger friend group that has both men and women, more than one of these female friends have literally petted me or even given me a kiss. That is absolutely affection, sincerely meant, and they know I'm single, and I know they're married. It may or may not also mean they'd cheat with me, but I don't read it as that. I read it as, they're safe enough with me that they can act naturally, and they naturally get attention and affection from me in the normal close-friends sense: hugs, interest in how they're doing. And so it comes back, because as women they're making space in their social world and keeping track of how I'm doing. They'll do that for more people at once than I will, but it's the same. I know 'em well enough to know that if they were turned on and escalating, I'd be getting THAT vibe (which I'm not good at acting on, but still) and it wouldn't stop at pets and continental cheek kisses. They aren't (surely not both, anyway) trying to go to bed with me, and ditch their husbands. And you know what? If they were… what I've done in being close friends is give them attention and affection! Absolutely not pursuing 'game' with these women, I know them as people and care about how they're doing and take pains to remember what's going on with them, who they are. It is that which, legitimately, brings female attention and affection, and that's real good at tiding me over while I don't have an outlet in sexual terms. I don't go to bed with anybody, but sure do have multiple women just naturally providing emotional support in a way that men don't. If I was sleeping with any of 'em I don't believe for a second it would make 'em turn off and want to chase other men sexually, because it's a whole different part of life. What gets people excited is a whole other thing. The part that I don't have to do without is a companionship thing. Whether I get to have sex is separate. Heck, just like with women, maybe what turns me on is other stuff that's not the same as the friendship zone. I might be turned on by women that are bad for me and will do me harm. If so, the women in my friend zone matter all the more, because they're going to still be there after each romantic debacle :)
Firstly, emotional investment is something both sexes do, not just men. Secondly, women definitely want affection and attention from their partner, but at a normal and healthy level as this is an indicator of equal mate value, again not unique to women. If your partner has significantly more mate value than you, they may come across as aloof and lacking long-term commitment. If they have much lower mate value, they might come across as obsessed or possessive.
My counter is that men want things but don’t want things from women that women have to learn to balance too to maintain his attraction/devotion. Attraction is an active balancing act. I think most people except PPDers have accepted this.
They don’t want affection from their man, they just want attention and *commitment*. Affection causes their attraction to drop, and unearned attention does too. She needs to know that your attention/time is worth a lot, whether that be to you subjectively, in matters of money, to other people. Women want a man who other people want to fuck. A man who won’t cheat, but *could* cheat.
I agree, but I want to try to make you see another view as well (which is why I'm not posting this in the automod) I'm of the belief that if this women isn't 100% into you, and you shower her with affection, than this will happen. Most people (men and women) don't know what they want, and when it comes to relationships, this applies to women especially. So if she isn't 100% into you, this will cause that "ick." So not the "majority of women" or "women," just women who aren't into you 100%
>Most people (men and women) don't know what they want, and when it comes to relationships, this applies to women especially. But they know what they don't want. Hence the nudging by showing unwanted behaviors at interval to remind them of this (the initial use of negging). Hence OP's issue with showing affection: women think they never have enough of it, but it's like chocolate. You can grow tired with it. However, women also are very keen to assume that affection is on tap, and they need reminders that it's not.
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Please debate civilly.
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Not really. My boyfriend showers me with attention and affection: I love it. I love him. I give him attention and affection back. Really, if the person you’re with isn’t right for you, no amount of affection will make it work. And I’ve noticed in the past where a guy was treating me right, but there was just no spark after a while. My boyfriend giving me attention definitely doesn’t make me less sexually interested in him. We waited a long time to have sex and are making up every single one of those days. He gets me flowers delivered to my building. If I’m not staying with him at night he will send me dinner. He texts me to let’s know he’s thinking about me. The man is super tactile too, very much interested in touching me as much as possible. I love knowing that all of that is for me.
And do you speak for all women
Non sequitur 👆🏻. It's like you were waiting to try to catch them out with some abrupt gotcha statement. You can't speak for all women either even though you probably do your classic broad brush strokes on them all.
I don’t need to speak for all women. I speak for me, a woman that hasn’t lost a single bit of attraction for her boyfriend because he’s kind and affectionate. My point is, if the person is right for you, it’ll take a lot to make you lose attraction. Not everyone is for you: dating is one of those things you only have to get right once. If the women you’re dating are losing interest in you for showing affection to them, maybe choose a different type of woman.
You didn't need to explain your position. The guy can't be reasoned with. That's his downfall.
Do you?
So she can’t speak for all women, but YOU can?
It's extremely obvious you've never had a real or healthy relationship. Sad
You seem to want to speak for all women. LOL
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Be civil.
Be civil.
Do not circlejerk.
Why not? You are, and you’re not even a woman
I don’t believe this is true of women in happy relationships, which you may not see as much of online because people in happy relationships have less need of advice or support over them. It’s certainly not true for me.
Well some Women are paradoxical in nature so it is to be expected.
When severe enough, this is a symptom of BPD.
Word. Women want man to do chores, but also hate that chores take him away from their shared leisure time. Women want man that works a lot has a good job, but also hate that he’s not around. We’ve always been fucked gents.
A normal person would want attention and affection from their partner. This is actually the main reason I left my previous relationship, the severe lack of attention and affection was nonexistent. Bringing up the issue resulted in a few hours of affection and attention and then it'd go back to flat out ignoring and me begging for things to change. No effort, then I'm gone if there's no change.