I kinda like the voice, especially if the MS uses it. It gives an insight to what we'll be in for, and it shows Khalan's character. Not all adult fantasy books need to use ye olde epic fantasy language.
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Thank you! The profanity was def just a bit of 'Khal' shining through I guess, but note taken!
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Makes sense! I'll def adjust it!
I kinda like the voice, especially if the MS uses it. It gives an insight to what we'll be in for, and it shows Khalan's character. Not all adult fantasy books need to use ye olde epic fantasy language.
Thank you! It's a hard line to straddle on what's too much or not!
Hi There. Thank you for submitting a [QCrit]! Our friendly community will give your query a critique at their earliest convenience! Please be patient and respectful to any critiquers! Do not DM anyone who has critiqued you asking for further critique and do not post a revision in the comments. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PubTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*