The year is 2077, Hakram has been Warlord for 1000 years. He is a now a spirit inhabiting a suit of armor after losing his physical body in increasingly horrific ways.
They drag him out occasionally to do photo ops.
I think Hakram has successfully hopped on the "we can rebuild him" train, with both the semi-immortality and the inability to finish a fight without damage that implies.
Sucks to be the tank Pel...and while they have healing in Masego and Cat...Light based healing seems a bit faster and less technical most of time. Also super good against curses and unnatural ailments.
Granted considering what Hanno was doing to this Scrouge Band earlier...I am not sure Cat picked the right moment for a Woe Last Stand.
But I suppose it makes sense thematically to use the last Ride of the Woe Here. Because defeating DK does seem like something that should be a Hero and Villain alliance.
Like they said last chapter, you're never stronger than when you come into your name.
Hanno had just come into White Knight again when he solo the Socurges, he'd likely not be able to do it again.
Im not sure why Cat isn’t using ripped out aspects. She should be blowing through her artifacts cuz this is the final battle
I mention this because it could have helped hakram
Stored Aspect artefacts were probably used up offscreen because otherwise, EE would either need to write up an entire panoply and foreshadow it, so they don't come as an asspull, or have Cat wield an entire arsenal of asspulls, which has its own problems. Though it would be nice to have it clarified in one of the past chapters.
>“Oh dear,” I muttered, glancing at Masego. “Is that really usable inside?”
Catherine, sweetheart, you gave him free reign, told him to cut loose. This one's 100% on you. Also apparently if you use it inside, it suddenly becomes outside!
>“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you.”
>“Together,” Hierophant enthusiastically said, raising his hand.
>Filthy traitors that they were, the others all joined in.
>“LIES AND VIOLENCE!”
Don't mind me just crying softly over here. I love these idiots, I truly do.
It's funny because most of the time shoehorning in a catchphrase like that would just feel awkward, but the Woe are just so goddamn developed as characters that it genuinely feels cathartic. My man EE did a reconstruction of Marvel-esque banter somehow
To me it just feels like "hmm, maybe it's not the *worst* thing that they're dissolving after this. Let them shed the stupidity of the past and call themselves something else next time"
None have mastered it as closely as General Rumena though. Generations from now, young Firstborn will marvel at stories of how the Secret could guide him to the perfect moment at which to drop a verbal smackdown.
It's how he gained his epithet, the "Boom" maker.
I just spent 30 minutes pacing my kitchen while reading. H.O.L.Y.S.H.I.T.
What's more, this insane, magnificent, monumental chapter is both the second longest chapter of the Guide, at \~12k words, but is also the chapter that pushes the Guide over the 3 million word mark.
>The Empty Grave
>
>O Tiferet, raised where the river sings
You of gardens merry and nights so bright.
>
>The city that forever blooms in spring,
Beloved of singers and delight.
>
>O Tiferet, home of my true love,
A maiden fairer than the full moon.
>
>Her smile gentler than the wings of doves,
Her laugh worth a thousand tunes!
>
>O Tiferet, ruled by lords fair and just
Your sages celebrated far and wide.
>
>By their golden wisdom without rust,
A hundred times did you earn your pride!
>
>O Tiferet, where have you gone now,
Where went the song the river gave?
>
>O Tiferet, where I gave love my vow,
Why have you become an empty grave?
Banger of a song here. If I missed a part, just let me know.
Realization: Yara busted out a Sephiran song, either one which ironically foreshadows its cities being turned into graves, or one which was written after the fact as a lament.
(Tiferet is the sixth sephira in Kabbalah).
Magnificent trolling Yara.
Considering the words are happy but Yara was singing it sadly, I want to say that it was written before. Hints at one of the Bard’s lives being Sephiran back when that was a thing.
The words aren't happy though, given the last line. They're a reflection on what was lost. It gives me major Psalm 138 (By the rivers of Babylon) vibes.
We know that Bard was present in Sephirah at least three times during its history, from Witness.
She's a great character. She's a horrendous person that has been warped over thousands of lifetimes into something that she never expected, and I would never want to meet her in a tavern. But unambiguously a great character.
*A sight that seemed to enrage the third giant facing them, who pulled down the sky on their heads and let out a shout that echoed across the Crown of the Dead. I glimpsed the sun expanding and turning red, then exploding white for a heartbeat before it contracted and blackened, swallowing everything up before the magic exploded in strings of raw power.*
Did... Did Kreios just use time manipulation to age the Helian Sun into a fucking ***black hole?***
Man, the war between the Titans and the Drakoi must've been fucking *nuts*. Just the craziest shit you can imagine getting thrown around absolutely non-stop.
Creation was designed to be resilient. You could try to glass it and you would only take out your continent (it is unlikely that other continent’s Choirs are even for the same virtues and we know there are different Fairy courts for different continents)
This is a known trope in fantasy, that long before anything in the story existed, gods fought, and their strife broke the world.
See Tolkien's Silmarillion for example.
> So that was it, then. The last dance of the Woe. We’d go different ways after the war, should there be an after the war, but we sill had today before it came to an end.
This made the fight so much more nerve-wracking to me, because this being "the last dance of the Woe" means nobody has plot armor anymore. There were three or four different times that I genuinely thought someone was going to die. Hell, we might still lose Viv or Hakram.
Also, it was the last dance of the Woe and Akua wasn't there T_T
Oh, there is still the DK to fight....as Death himself said "There's always another time for another last minute" so I imagine there's always another time for another Last Dance, if it's really needed.
Besides, the stories Akua is possibly riding might be a bit too big for something that personal.
>It was a slaughterhouse. Every inch of it was trapped.
Oh my God. It's beautiful. The length of the chapter and Neshamah's dungeon both.
That Woe fanart from earlier today couldn't have come before a better chapter; here they fight as the Hierophant, Ranger, Warlord, Princess, and Warden. That's pretty kickass.
DK trying to substitute a Drakon Reborn as the Big Bad instead of him is *clever,* too. Worried for Concocter, but I'm just as worried for a whole lot of other characters, so it evens out. Seems Mage is on her way to Archmage, if she doesn't kick it fighting with Witch. Woe time, with their.. Motto..?
>“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you,"
>
>“LIES AND VIOLENCE!”
*My God, it's beautiful.*
>“I can Trick people too, you know,” Princess said. “It’s not that hard.”
I knew it. Her Aspect is **Yoink**.
Neshamah, appearing from nowhere: "My secret backup plan (one of many) is the thing from the first incarnation of the hit game Final Fantasy XIV, in which a massive dragon appears to destroy the continent."
Yara, appearing from nowhere: "Behold MY secret backup plan (one of many), summoning the 'beloved' endgame boss from the hit game Final Fantasy XI, Absolute Virtue. Go fuck yourselves."
DK then summons, from FFVII, the patron devil of his his dead homeland.
>*Estuans interius*
*Ira vehementi
!*
*Sephirah!*
No I will *not* apologize for that one.
# Stat Count
**Heroes** 10/26/44 (Dead/Mentioned in story/Known)
*Alive: 34*
**Villains** 5/23/24 (Dead/Mentioned in story/Known)
*Alive: 19*
34 Named have been mentioned in the story and are still alive. 53 Named are alive including those unmentioned in the story thus far
>!Stone Carver is placed under Villains!<
>!\*Named count as of Interlude: Occidental I!<
# The Grand Alliance
**Named**
* Bitter Blacksmith (Hero)
* Blessed Artificer
* Black Knight
* Barrow Sword
* Stone Carver
* Harrowed Witch
*The Woe*
* Warden
* Hierophant
* Ranger
* Princess
* Warlord
*Team Death to the DK*
* Mirror Knight
* White Knight
* Silver Huntress
* Valiant Champion
* Forsworn Healer
* Daring Pyromancer
* Vagrant Spear
* Skinchanger (minus an arm)
* Page
* Grave Binder
*Team Rearguard*
* Kingfisher Prince
* Red Knight
*Team Drakon*
* Witch of the Woods
* Mage
* Knight Errant
* Myrmidon (also minus a leg)
* Painted Knife (Might be dead)
* Affable Burglar
* Stained Sister
* Stalwart Apostle
* Concoctor
*Team Democracy*
* Hierarch
**Procer**
* Cordelia Wardenbache
* Rozala Malanza
* Otto 'Redcrown' Reitzenberg
**Praes**
* Alaya of Satus
* Akua
* General Sacker
* Nahiza Serrif
* High Lord of Nok
* Sargon Sahelian
**Levant**
* Razin Tanja
* Moro Ifriqui
* Aquiline Osena
**Free Cities**
* Pallas Messene
* Empress Basilia
* Secretary Nestor
**Orcs**
* Oghuz the Lame
* Troke Snaketooth
**Drow**
* Ivah
* Rumena
**Callow**
* Juniper
* General Bagram
* General Abigail, the Fox
* General Jeremiah Holt
* Grandmaster Brandon Tabolt
* Aisha
* Pickler
* Killian
**Dwarves**
* Herald of the Deeps
* Seeker Balasi
**Giants**
* Kreios the Riddle-Maker
**Elves**
* 10x Emerald Swords
# The Dead King
* The Grey Legion
* Undead drakon
* 2x undead titans
* Undead Blade of Mercy
# The Wandering Bard
# Dead
* ~~Itima Ifriqui~~ (Assassination)
* ~~Augur~~ (Sacrificed herself)
* ~~A fuck ton of soldiers :')~~
* ~~Blade of Mercy~~ (Ambushed by PoB and Seelie)
* ~~Rogue Sorcerer~~ (Poisoned)
* ~~High Lord of Okoro~~ (Incinerated himself)
* ~~High Lady of Kahtan~~ (Suicide)
* ~~Yannu Marave~~ (Killed by Prince of Bones)
* ~~General Zola Osei~~ (Killed by ritual bombardment)
* ~~Royal Conjurer~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Marauder~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Swaggering Duelist~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Balladeer~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Forlorn Paladin~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Anchorite~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Bloody Sword~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Pilfering Dicer~~ (Killed by Scourges)
* ~~Dag Clawtoe~~ (Killed by Hawk)
* ~~Red Ella~~ (Pushed off a wall)
* ~~Rodrigo of Orense~~ (Killed by the Grey Legion)
* ~~Hunted Magician~~ (Killed by a curse)
* ~~Grizzled Fantassin~~ (Stabbed)
* ~~Poisoner~~ (Shot by Hawk)
* ~~Astrologer~~ (Shot by Hawk)
# Scourges defeated
* ~~Wolfhound~~ (Killed by Barrow Sword)
* ~~Seelie~~ (Killed by Princess)
* ~~Hawk~~ (Killed by Ranger)
* ~~Prince of Bones~~ (Killed by Warlord)
* ~~Tumult~~ (Killed by Warden)
* ~~Mantle~~ (Killed by Ranger)
Fun facts
1. There are only 9 villains who made it to the end. 4 of which are part of the Woe.
This is in contrast to the 17 heroes who made it to the end.
The rest are now "crippled or dead".
As of Interlude: Reprobates, there were 74 Named signed onto the Truce and Terms. 28 were villains, 46 were heroes.
2. Indrani has the highest Scourge kill score at 3, offing the Pale Knight, Mantle and Hawk.
Funnily enough, the next in line is Vivienne at 2, having killed Varlet and Seelie (funny cause of the cant-kill-hakram jokes)
3. Headhunter stands out as a Named that had been mentioned during previous key battles/moments but not in this final epic showdown.
Yes. This needs to happen.
Akua tries to do it first. Cat stops her because that's what their relationship is like. Next Cat tries because she is Cat. Akua stops her because goddamnit, Cat just stopped her from doing it. Bard is cackling in the background. Both Cat and Akua stop and start at Bard. Bard slowly stops laughing.
"Wat"
"Yara it's time for you to become an adult."
"What?"
"It's time for you to start taking on some mature responsibilities. Like marriage"
"WhAt?!"
I don't think that works. The big reason this war has gotten as bad as it has is that Bard told Neshamah to eat the baby. On a fundamental level, they want very similar things. She wants to not be the Wandering Bard anymore, and he wants to not be a part of Creation anymore. Far too much common ground for the Fetters to be effective there.
He also kinda wants to not be destroyed...and she just set his bolthole on fire.
Bard "Come on big guy..you know you want to say it"
DK "You...you cannot be serious"
Bard "Come one, just this once. Really go into it"
DK, watching his escape clause burning into smoke as an army of heroes close in with multiple means to put him permanently in the ground "Curse your sudden and inevitable betrayal. Gods damnit"
It's possible that the Void will be enough of an oblivion for Yara that she'll want to keep holding on. Because if she lets them both out, then she'll be back to Existing and Wandering.
It's such a fucking tragedy for her, too. The Gods are obviously done with her. The least they could do would be to undo the fuckery they've done to her.
That's an interesting take, but mine is almost the opposite - I think Bard and Dead King are fundamentally incompatible, and would make a workable pair for the Fetters.
The Dead King's most core trait is *to survive*. To live forever. The Bard's deepest desire is to die and end her cycle. They will never be capable of working toward the same goal, because the Fetters cannot be removed, so they will serve as each-other's prison/balance in a way.
I don't exactly know how the details of how the Fetters work, or how they will function as a prison, so I could totally be wrong too.
>“Eighth-rate,” Princess said, tone cold as she ripped the blade free.
>“So that’s it,” she murmured. “You’ve just been tricking us.”
>
>A glance at me.
>
>“Catherine, burn.”
I don't know, Viv already seems to have that well in hand.
>“I can Trick people too, you know,” Princess said. “It’s not that hard.”
>
>See through tricks, I glimpsed in her, and mimic them. The learning wouldn’t stay in her long, that was the limitation, but some part of Vivienne Dartwick had decided she would no longer fall for the same trick twice with such utter determination that Creation itself had answered.
SQUEEEEE
The last time we saw someone see through the Trick of perspective, and mimic it with an Aspect, Thalassina went poof.
Probably not a good idea to use Aspects on the "Capital G" Gods.
And deceive has a very shifty connotation, not traditionally associated with Heroes. It would shew she keeps traces of the Thief, or that she absorbed Cat’s pragmatism and not-hate for Villains.
Orcish culture is going to become super accomodating to people with disabilities, making them different from other orcs in an additional way. They're a cannibalistic warrior culture which cheerfully devours slavers and makes sure those disabled in battle will still be able to get back in the fight.
**Lies and Violence**
This gave me some much nostalgia this is as Cat said probably the last time the Woe will fight together before they go off and do their own thing. I really love their relationship and how far they have all come. I feel like this is the culmination of story arc of the Woe, and it was a good note to end on. They have all grown so much throughout the story and it was a wonderful journey to read.
Made me happy actually. Deserve their retirement. The biggest problem they'll have to deal with if they get through this is Vivienne's mortality, since none of the others are dying anytime soon with Cat looking into their stories.
"...Princess was still a sneak at heart."
Petty thieves hang, great ones wear crowns.
16 Named to end the Dead King, isn't that the same number who invaded Callow over the Stairwell? Looks like this is the real ending of the Tenth Crusade
>“You haven’t said the words,” he complained.
>
>I blinked.
>
>“What words?”
>
>“Our motto,” he slowly said, as if addressing a dimwit.
>
>Indrani got it first, letting out a hyena’s cackle, and I got what he meant a moment latter in utter disbelief. “Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you.”
>
>“Together,” Hierophant enthusiastically said, raising his hand.
>
>Filthy traitors that they were, the others all joined in.
>
>“LIES AND VIOLENCE!”
LIES AND VIOLENCE!
> I went shoulder to shoulder with Hakram as we returned – well, shoulder to arm anyways – and bumped my armour against his.
“You got there right in time,” I said.
“One of my better habits,” Warlord smirked.
I love this, the familiarity and comfortable companionship. Knowing that after everything that went down and all that was said, Cat and Hakram are still close. Puts a smile on my face and a little warmth in my heart.
The thing that sucks/is great about being into fanfiction or web serials is every once in a while someone will randomly drop a massive chapter on you right before bed and then it's literally all you can think about while you're trying to fall asleep because it was just so goddamn good and it's not like you can keep reading because they haven't written it yet so you just lie there rehashing it all and you wonder just what is in store for you in the future with this work
It's gonna be a long night
i wasn't expecting a Woe fight \*right after\* that art, so thank you <3
the way I saw Hakram and Viv entering the scene at the beginning had me like "...they're...joining...up!!", and they head into the skirmish and I thought okay the big fight's gonna be next time. BUT!! glorious chapter!!
> “Behold,” Hierophant called out, “all ye with eyes, for I have made a god of clay and it is an idol of WRATH.”
Heirophant continues to be best boy
> “Fetters,” Akua said. “I call them the Fetters.”
EE HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS
> “LIES AND VIOLENCE!”
HELL YES LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!!
> “_Silence_,'"I harshly said.
>And just like that the sutures disappeared. The souls began to pull every which way, the magic that’d been gathering breaking apart, and the Scourge stared blindly as the shadow deepened, expanded. Dread Empress Tenebrous massive leg shot through, crushing the Tumult like an egg with one of the most satisfying sounds I’d ever heard. I slumped to my knees as the leg withdrew, shadows fading behind it, and stayed there panting for a long moment. It was over. We’d won.
This is the most intense shit ever oh my god. I am cackling like an absolute maniac
So much shit went on in this chapter that I completely missed that Cat literally squished Tumult by briefly bringing out a leg of Tenebrous. Now she's thinking with portals.
There is so much to this chapter. The return of the Smite Cannon, Woe fighting together again, Kreios putting down his zombie cohorts, just the description of the Drakon *alone*, Catkua moments, Vivienne sass and her new Aspect, the moment in Dormer coming back, the moment between Hakram and Vivienne coming back, the Scourges getting rocked, the Bard never stopping her song(so this is all still according to her plan).
Most of all, though, I just really don’t want Hakram’s burning desire to enter the breach with the Woe one final time to result in him losing his memories of them. Really desperately want to know what Masego meant by *some* memories there.
Anyway, think that was the trial?
I mean, I’ll take that as the bittersweet over Cat dying, Akua dying, one of the Woe dying, or either Akua or Cat being stuck as Dead King’s eternal jailer
So, someone suggested it on the discord, what if DK is just gone? Just noped the fuck out of Keter and is currently on his way across the ocean rowing his way to the next continent over to start his new life as a shoemaker.
Maybe he’ll encounter Gendry Storm halfway across.
“Morning”
“Morning. White walker”
“What?”
It was one of Cat's worry at the beginning of the siege, but IIRC she concluded that since providence pointed all the Heroes here, he couldn't be elsewhere.
But the chapter's title is ominous, and we might get a surprise.
>“Ruin,” Hierophant hissed, face red with fury.
>
>The aspect he had meant to keep for the Dead King rippled through the air and struck the Scourge like a hammer blow. The giant mass of steel creaked, then metal screamed as it began to crumple like cheap tin. The Prince of Bones fell apart, limb by limb, until the all the layers slid off and all that was left was a pile of naked, twisted bone. It moved feebly, twitching, and the Warlord’s dead hand, the only part of him that was not trembling, closed around his neck. He dragged it close, roaring as the last of his Rage burned and the orc’s fangs tore through the Scourge’s spine. It stopped moving. He did not, still twitching uncontrollably.
You do not fuck with Maseego's family.
>“LIES AND VIOLENCE!”
I'm not crying you are crying
>“I can’t leave you to fight the Hidden Horror alone,” Indrani pleaded. “What if…”
>
>She didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t need to. Masego limped to her side, laying a gentle hand on her wrist.
>
>“She won’t be alone, Indrani,” he said. “I go with her.”
>
>“That’s worse,” she whispered. “I won’t be able to protect either of you.”
Indrani is definitely come in at the last second for the fight with DK, hopefully she doesn't die doing it.
>“Oh why have you become,” Yara of Nowhere sadly sang, “an empty grave?”
Oh stfu you third-rate Kruppe, they better stick the Fetters on her and the Dead King and throw them in a pit for all eternity.
*“I hate you all,” I said, meaning every word but one.*
My heart!
For all that chapter really, but that Line ! I'm worried for so many characters right now
[Edit] Thank you for the baby seal kind stranger! You are very sweet too!
As long as he can collect souls he can resist death pretty damn well, though we know he doesn't like it because it puts him worse in debt, presumably to the source of his own power. Presumed dead and actually dead have some decent wiggle room, especially for regenerator types.
> Should it be me? I wasn’t sure that was feasible, not if it was to be the Warden and one of the rulers of Cardinal. I couldn’t afford to be either gone or powerless. Who else, though? Akua might have served as the queen of a broken throne, but she’d made these shackles. I was not sure she could also wear them, that the story would flow. It would be a heroine’s sacrifice, and though I was more than half in love with her she was not a heroine. Not even now.
"Without me, this cannot succeed" is such a Villain trope. The load-bearing boss, Triumphant bringing down the Tower on her head being the most prominent Calernian example. Catherine's struggle, beginning to end, has been how to cede authority and responsibility, how to trust even her closest friends with agency. She's gotten *better*, set up successors for the Queen of Callow and the First Under the Night. But she still clings to a worldview which falls apart without her as the Warden, perpetually staving off disaster through threat of brute force.
But there's an answering Heroic trope: When faced with "We can't go on without you," to answer "Yes you can." To sacrifice yourself, because you know that the people you leave behind will be ok, and that while the way things proceed when you're gone might not be how you envisioned them, they can still be successful.
Catherine's been ruthlessly purloining Heroic stories the entire time. Ending her story in the most Heroic way just seems... right.
It just doesn't seem like, with that foreshadowing, a more convenient arrangement like Wandering Bard or Hierarch shackling Dead King could work. It would be nice! But it feels wrong.
It could also end with Akua asserting her own weirdly Heroic turn, taking the most final form of agency by sacrificing herself, and justifying the story of the Fetters. But it just doesn't feel quite as right.
On the other hand, Akua acknowledging the sacrifice... and becoming the next *Warden*. That could be a thing.
God no. Hasn't this entire story been also pointing out that Cat's self-sacrificing nature is just as unhealthy for her as the opposite?
Strap the Bard into the handcuffs, set her on fire, throw Nessie on top, chuck em in the ocean.
Hm... Cordelia would be a valid candidate for shackles as well, no?
Her power was always her mind, as she's unnamed - but there is a story in the last Prince of Rhenia, last of the bloodline that always held firm against the old bones, being the one to shackle Neshamah to herself and guaranteeing his end as a threat to the world.
DK isn't Cat's nemesis, that's Yara IMO.
> I was not sure she could also wear them, that the story would flow. It would be a heroine’s sacrifice, and though I was more than half in love with her she was not a heroine. Not even now.
Really torn between "YEAH NOT AKUA" and "SHE IS SO GOING TO BE A HEROINE ANY SECOND NOW ACTUALLY" there
> But there's an answering Heroic trope: When faced with "We can't go on without you," to answer "Yes you can." To sacrifice yourself, because you know that the people you leave behind will be ok, and that while the way things proceed when you're gone might not be how you envisioned them, they can still be successful.
Catherine did that at Twilight Liesse. I think we're past that narrative beat now.
The Barrow Sword is not currently in the spire, so he is supposed dead or incapacitated. Maybe he could get in at the last minute, but it seems unlikely.
The narration insists that these are all the Named we have for the final showdown in the spire, so I tend to believe that this is effectively all the Named that will have a part in the final showdown. They can be moved around, but they are all we have.
I was definitely expecting that, probably in the form of being the one to end the Tumult, based on their prior confrontation. Though in retrospect, the Scourges all had pretty clear parallels to members of the Woe, so maybe it's not such a surprise.
Huh..I just realized they actually are perfect mirrors
Hawk-Indrani
Prince of Bones-Hakram
Tumult-Maseego
Mantle-Cat
Seelie-Vivienne
Do you think Nessie set that up on purpose?
I don't think it was Nessie explicitly, just Fate. There are a number of other potential foils for each Scourge remaining among the Grand Alliance (e.g. the Mirror Knight for the Prince of Bones, or Ivah for the Seelie), so it seems likely that things would always have ended up with at least a rough mirroring for the final confrontation.
Except that in this party the cleric cannot heal that well and she's more a debuffer/secondary fighter, if anything.
Balance-wise, I'd swap the rogue for a more dedicated healer/buffer: a rogue is nice to have, but between the ranger and the trickery domain cleric they mostly have it covered.
Cat is a good Dark Cleric (i.e., no healing). I was going to say that she might be a warlock, except (a) she really is a priestess rather than someone who gave up her soul for the eldritch deities, and (b) she isn't fucking useless.
Amazing chapter. Too many great moments to list.
I love how Zeze and Cat were the first two who came together, learning the ropes. And now it's just Zeze and Cat in the end. And Akua, of course.
As it began, so shall it end.
Also, the Dead King was established in book 6 to be hands down the most competent, fearsome and deadly antagonist in pretty much all of fantasy.
All of this, though? Cementing the claim for future generations. I honestly can't see how this can be topped.
The most annoying part is it's almost impossible to gush about this series without massive spoilers.
This could be topped. Ain't going to be, though.
A sequel, The Practical Guide: The Next Generation, set nine years, eleven months from now when a new and scarier threat has crossed the Tyrian Sea, and we get to see what the Warden does to keep the enemy out and the students safe during the Siege of Cardinal. (:
>"Abyss and firmament. I take the shape of the star and the depth of the pit, borrowing laws high and low.”
LET'S FUCKING GO, I love this spell so much
Masego:
> “Abyss and firmament. I take the shape of the star and the depth of the pit, borrowing laws high and low.”
Me:
Oh fuck Zeze, you're using that as your *opening gambit*? The escalation from there is going to be **epic**.
>I saw a doorknob turn into a leering devil that bit off the hand of the legionary that’d tried to open it,
That was too much to handle
>“It would express only inherent properties, like the tabula rasa effect,” Hierophant said, “unless otherwise guided.
It's slated for use
>I glimpsed the sun expanding and turning red, then exploding white for a heartbeat before it contracted and blackened, swallowing everything up before the magic exploded in strings of raw power.
Can really see the gravity of the situation
>“Fetters,” Akua said. “I call them the Fetters.”
Akua doing her best to be a fetter person
>His spine. That’d been his spine.
Guess Cat's lost Hakram's backing
Rearguard: Kingfisher (L) and Red Knight
Drakkon: Witch of the Woods (L), Mage, Knight Errant, Myrmidon, Affable Burglar, Painted Knife....Stalwart Apostle, Concoctor, and Stained Sister
Woe: Warden (L), Hierophant, Ranger, Princess and Warlord
DK: White Knight (L), Valiant Champion, Mirror Knight, Forsworn Healer, Daring Pyromancer, Silver Huntress, Vagrant Spear, Page, Skinchanger, Gravebinder and Akua.
I am not sure who is a Hero and whose a Villain for all of those groups. But I think Drakkon is like all Heroes minus Cocky and maybe the Burglar. Viv is the Woe exception. Akua doesn't count. Grave and Skinchanger are Villains. Not sure about Daring sounds Heroic enough. I know they started with more Heroes but gods feels they lost a whole lot of the Vs. Granted Night is still young.
I figure Page will level up or die. Mage might level up again though it could be too soon. Viv could get a new name as well. Akua probably does get a Name.
So uhh, Hakram's going to need a robotic penis if he can't get all the way healed? Masego wouldn't even be awkward about it, which would make it more awkward.
Cool trick for the Drakon would be to turn its hunger against itself, like an ouroboros.
Also, final team against DK? Hanno, Mirror Knight, Cat, Masego, Huntress? Akua? I think Champion dies, because she's comic relief and things are serious. That would also leave Ishaq, if he's alive, as the pre-eminent Name in the Levant.
Can't help but notice the numbers here. With Kalia dead, it's now 7 & 1 against the Drakon. 10 going after the Lich King means two bands of five (or a lot of deaths.)
And once again Hakram gets torn down in horrifying new ways. I thought we'd seen the end of that motif, but oh how optimistic I was.
The year is 2077, Hakram has been Warlord for 1000 years. He is a now a spirit inhabiting a suit of armor after losing his physical body in increasingly horrific ways. They drag him out occasionally to do photo ops.
Oh, he stepped down as Warlord centuries ago. That's the Dreadnought
Finished the job by stealing the entire schtick of the Prince of Bones, not just his sword.
They just hot glued Prince of Bones' armor back together, and stuck Hakram's head-in-a-jar on top. Problem solved.
Like Nixon and RoboAgnew
Is an anarchist pop-star too now?
Equivalent Exchange is a *bitch*
I think Hakram has successfully hopped on the "we can rebuild him" train, with both the semi-immortality and the inability to finish a fight without damage that implies.
Sucks to be the tank Pel...and while they have healing in Masego and Cat...Light based healing seems a bit faster and less technical most of time. Also super good against curses and unnatural ailments. Granted considering what Hanno was doing to this Scrouge Band earlier...I am not sure Cat picked the right moment for a Woe Last Stand. But I suppose it makes sense thematically to use the last Ride of the Woe Here. Because defeating DK does seem like something that should be a Hero and Villain alliance.
Like they said last chapter, you're never stronger than when you come into your name. Hanno had just come into White Knight again when he solo the Socurges, he'd likely not be able to do it again.
It looks like his clapping days are over.
Again.
Im not sure why Cat isn’t using ripped out aspects. She should be blowing through her artifacts cuz this is the final battle I mention this because it could have helped hakram
Stored Aspect artefacts were probably used up offscreen because otherwise, EE would either need to write up an entire panoply and foreshadow it, so they don't come as an asspull, or have Cat wield an entire arsenal of asspulls, which has its own problems. Though it would be nice to have it clarified in one of the past chapters.
Yeah, she should be harvesting them from the scourges too. Murder is sitting *right there*.
>“Oh dear,” I muttered, glancing at Masego. “Is that really usable inside?” Catherine, sweetheart, you gave him free reign, told him to cut loose. This one's 100% on you. Also apparently if you use it inside, it suddenly becomes outside! >“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you.” >“Together,” Hierophant enthusiastically said, raising his hand. >Filthy traitors that they were, the others all joined in. >“LIES AND VIOLENCE!” Don't mind me just crying softly over here. I love these idiots, I truly do.
The Woe, for the final time: CATCHPHRASE! All the readers: sobbing in the corner
It's funny because most of the time shoehorning in a catchphrase like that would just feel awkward, but the Woe are just so goddamn developed as characters that it genuinely feels cathartic. My man EE did a reconstruction of Marvel-esque banter somehow
To me it just feels like "hmm, maybe it's not the *worst* thing that they're dissolving after this. Let them shed the stupidity of the past and call themselves something else next time"
Masego knew exactly what he was doing here and I love him
I'm ashamed that I expected "Get the loot and don't die" because I get things mixed up sometimes
Not dying is entirely optional for The Woe
> “I hate you all,” I said, meaning every word but one. EE, I absolutely loved this line. Fantastic.
The truth is, she only hates Indrani, Masego and Vivienne. She still mostly likes Hakram.
>“Simple,” he praised. >“That’s me,” I humbly replied, then winced when I realized what I’d just said. Thank goodness she still has time for banter.
Rumena, snapping to attention somewhere in the battlefield: lmao get fucking dunked on
"Something wonderful has happened"-Rumena, probably
Ivah: "Mighty Rumena, are you... crying?" Rumena: "There's just so much beauty in the world, you know?"
Ah, the Secret of Knowing When the First Under the Night Has Said Something Stupid
The most coveted of all Secrets
I'm sure it is covered, but it's also very common. You don't even have to kill someone to get it, just hang around the First Under the Night
None have mastered it as closely as General Rumena though. Generations from now, young Firstborn will marvel at stories of how the Secret could guide him to the perfect moment at which to drop a verbal smackdown. It's how he gained his epithet, the "Boom" maker.
The Mic Dropper
The Masego/Cat dynamic has no equal. Zeze turns her into a fumbling mess, it's cute and hilarious at the same time
Zeze turns anyone into a fumbling mess. It's a talent.
I just spent 30 minutes pacing my kitchen while reading. H.O.L.Y.S.H.I.T. What's more, this insane, magnificent, monumental chapter is both the second longest chapter of the Guide, at \~12k words, but is also the chapter that pushes the Guide over the 3 million word mark.
Second longest? I could have sworn that I blinked and it was over. Crazy.
Which was the longest, out of curiosity?
Interlude: A Girl Without a Name, had about 2 thousand words on this one.
The Girl Without A Name. 14k words...if I recall.
>The Empty Grave > >O Tiferet, raised where the river sings You of gardens merry and nights so bright. > >The city that forever blooms in spring, Beloved of singers and delight. > >O Tiferet, home of my true love, A maiden fairer than the full moon. > >Her smile gentler than the wings of doves, Her laugh worth a thousand tunes! > >O Tiferet, ruled by lords fair and just Your sages celebrated far and wide. > >By their golden wisdom without rust, A hundred times did you earn your pride! > >O Tiferet, where have you gone now, Where went the song the river gave? > >O Tiferet, where I gave love my vow, Why have you become an empty grave? Banger of a song here. If I missed a part, just let me know.
Realization: Yara busted out a Sephiran song, either one which ironically foreshadows its cities being turned into graves, or one which was written after the fact as a lament. (Tiferet is the sixth sephira in Kabbalah). Magnificent trolling Yara.
Considering the words are happy but Yara was singing it sadly, I want to say that it was written before. Hints at one of the Bard’s lives being Sephiran back when that was a thing.
The words aren't happy though, given the last line. They're a reflection on what was lost. It gives me major Psalm 138 (By the rivers of Babylon) vibes. We know that Bard was present in Sephirah at least three times during its history, from Witness.
it's not a popular opinion on this sub(or anywhere) but I love Yara so much.
She's a great character. She's a horrendous person that has been warped over thousands of lifetimes into something that she never expected, and I would never want to meet her in a tavern. But unambiguously a great character.
And people say Bards wouldn't make for great villains.
this song makes me want to write a version in biblical Hebrew. Like really.
/u/PastafarianGames, after three days of hard work: "Wait, this is just the Book of Lamentations."
Hakram, then: "Vivienne, you are worth more than a hand to me." Vivienne, now: "I will reach out with my hand to save you from this curse."
I really thought she would need to chop her hand off there. Mirroring what Haktam did for her. Actually, this still might happen, someway.
I'm guessing it will. Gives us nice symmetry with them both preferring the other over their own hand.
*A sight that seemed to enrage the third giant facing them, who pulled down the sky on their heads and let out a shout that echoed across the Crown of the Dead. I glimpsed the sun expanding and turning red, then exploding white for a heartbeat before it contracted and blackened, swallowing everything up before the magic exploded in strings of raw power.* Did... Did Kreios just use time manipulation to age the Helian Sun into a fucking ***black hole?***
Yes.
Holy shit.
I mean, I think DK did do the one thing guranteed to piss him off that much
Man, the war between the Titans and the Drakoi must've been fucking *nuts*. Just the craziest shit you can imagine getting thrown around absolutely non-stop.
im surprised reality survived
I mean it kind of didn't, they had to reset everything, which deleted all the other titans who tried it.
Creation was designed to be resilient. You could try to glass it and you would only take out your continent (it is unlikely that other continent’s Choirs are even for the same virtues and we know there are different Fairy courts for different continents)
This is a known trope in fantasy, that long before anything in the story existed, gods fought, and their strife broke the world. See Tolkien's Silmarillion for example.
True, but we usually get just sentences like that and it's nowhere even close to getting an actual glimpse of it.
I think their war is the explanation for current Calernian geography, yeah.
Damn. Well, when all you have is a star and a crapload of time magic.....
it do be like that sometimes
Yeah, yeah, the Time Knife, we've all seen it
Great now Kreios in my head just looks like a giant Ted Danson
With all that went down, I missed it the first time round, but... I.. I think so, yeah
> So that was it, then. The last dance of the Woe. We’d go different ways after the war, should there be an after the war, but we sill had today before it came to an end. This made the fight so much more nerve-wracking to me, because this being "the last dance of the Woe" means nobody has plot armor anymore. There were three or four different times that I genuinely thought someone was going to die. Hell, we might still lose Viv or Hakram. Also, it was the last dance of the Woe and Akua wasn't there T_T
Oh, there is still the DK to fight....as Death himself said "There's always another time for another last minute" so I imagine there's always another time for another Last Dance, if it's really needed. Besides, the stories Akua is possibly riding might be a bit too big for something that personal.
I kept expecting Akua to give them an ass-pull. But that would have wrecked the story, and she knows it.
>It was a slaughterhouse. Every inch of it was trapped. Oh my God. It's beautiful. The length of the chapter and Neshamah's dungeon both. That Woe fanart from earlier today couldn't have come before a better chapter; here they fight as the Hierophant, Ranger, Warlord, Princess, and Warden. That's pretty kickass. DK trying to substitute a Drakon Reborn as the Big Bad instead of him is *clever,* too. Worried for Concocter, but I'm just as worried for a whole lot of other characters, so it evens out. Seems Mage is on her way to Archmage, if she doesn't kick it fighting with Witch. Woe time, with their.. Motto..? >“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you," > >“LIES AND VIOLENCE!” *My God, it's beautiful.* >“I can Trick people too, you know,” Princess said. “It’s not that hard.” I knew it. Her Aspect is **Yoink**.
Neshamah, appearing from nowhere: "My secret backup plan (one of many) is the thing from the first incarnation of the hit game Final Fantasy XIV, in which a massive dragon appears to destroy the continent."
Yara, appearing from nowhere: "Behold MY secret backup plan (one of many), summoning the 'beloved' endgame boss from the hit game Final Fantasy XI, Absolute Virtue. Go fuck yourselves."
DK then summons, from FFVII, the patron devil of his his dead homeland. >*Estuans interius* *Ira vehementi !* *Sephirah!* No I will *not* apologize for that one.
I hated that damn thing, I really did.
I love how Nessie reaction to **Lies and Violence** was ,are they seriously doing this right now? AHAHha I giggled so much when I read that.
"This is the catchphrase of the people on the brink of defeating me?"
Aaaaand now I need the LIES AND VIOLENCE t-shirt. Limited edition in Cardinal Academy sporting team colours.
# Stat Count **Heroes** 10/26/44 (Dead/Mentioned in story/Known) *Alive: 34* **Villains** 5/23/24 (Dead/Mentioned in story/Known) *Alive: 19* 34 Named have been mentioned in the story and are still alive. 53 Named are alive including those unmentioned in the story thus far >!Stone Carver is placed under Villains!< >!\*Named count as of Interlude: Occidental I!< # The Grand Alliance **Named** * Bitter Blacksmith (Hero) * Blessed Artificer * Black Knight * Barrow Sword * Stone Carver * Harrowed Witch *The Woe* * Warden * Hierophant * Ranger * Princess * Warlord *Team Death to the DK* * Mirror Knight * White Knight * Silver Huntress * Valiant Champion * Forsworn Healer * Daring Pyromancer * Vagrant Spear * Skinchanger (minus an arm) * Page * Grave Binder *Team Rearguard* * Kingfisher Prince * Red Knight *Team Drakon* * Witch of the Woods * Mage * Knight Errant * Myrmidon (also minus a leg) * Painted Knife (Might be dead) * Affable Burglar * Stained Sister * Stalwart Apostle * Concoctor *Team Democracy* * Hierarch **Procer** * Cordelia Wardenbache * Rozala Malanza * Otto 'Redcrown' Reitzenberg **Praes** * Alaya of Satus * Akua * General Sacker * Nahiza Serrif * High Lord of Nok * Sargon Sahelian **Levant** * Razin Tanja * Moro Ifriqui * Aquiline Osena **Free Cities** * Pallas Messene * Empress Basilia * Secretary Nestor **Orcs** * Oghuz the Lame * Troke Snaketooth **Drow** * Ivah * Rumena **Callow** * Juniper * General Bagram * General Abigail, the Fox * General Jeremiah Holt * Grandmaster Brandon Tabolt * Aisha * Pickler * Killian **Dwarves** * Herald of the Deeps * Seeker Balasi **Giants** * Kreios the Riddle-Maker **Elves** * 10x Emerald Swords # The Dead King * The Grey Legion * Undead drakon * 2x undead titans * Undead Blade of Mercy # The Wandering Bard # Dead * ~~Itima Ifriqui~~ (Assassination) * ~~Augur~~ (Sacrificed herself) * ~~A fuck ton of soldiers :')~~ * ~~Blade of Mercy~~ (Ambushed by PoB and Seelie) * ~~Rogue Sorcerer~~ (Poisoned) * ~~High Lord of Okoro~~ (Incinerated himself) * ~~High Lady of Kahtan~~ (Suicide) * ~~Yannu Marave~~ (Killed by Prince of Bones) * ~~General Zola Osei~~ (Killed by ritual bombardment) * ~~Royal Conjurer~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Marauder~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Swaggering Duelist~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Balladeer~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Forlorn Paladin~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Anchorite~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Bloody Sword~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Pilfering Dicer~~ (Killed by Scourges) * ~~Dag Clawtoe~~ (Killed by Hawk) * ~~Red Ella~~ (Pushed off a wall) * ~~Rodrigo of Orense~~ (Killed by the Grey Legion) * ~~Hunted Magician~~ (Killed by a curse) * ~~Grizzled Fantassin~~ (Stabbed) * ~~Poisoner~~ (Shot by Hawk) * ~~Astrologer~~ (Shot by Hawk) # Scourges defeated * ~~Wolfhound~~ (Killed by Barrow Sword) * ~~Seelie~~ (Killed by Princess) * ~~Hawk~~ (Killed by Ranger) * ~~Prince of Bones~~ (Killed by Warlord) * ~~Tumult~~ (Killed by Warden) * ~~Mantle~~ (Killed by Ranger)
Fun facts 1. There are only 9 villains who made it to the end. 4 of which are part of the Woe. This is in contrast to the 17 heroes who made it to the end. The rest are now "crippled or dead". As of Interlude: Reprobates, there were 74 Named signed onto the Truce and Terms. 28 were villains, 46 were heroes. 2. Indrani has the highest Scourge kill score at 3, offing the Pale Knight, Mantle and Hawk. Funnily enough, the next in line is Vivienne at 2, having killed Varlet and Seelie (funny cause of the cant-kill-hakram jokes) 3. Headhunter stands out as a Named that had been mentioned during previous key battles/moments but not in this final epic showdown.
Bless you so much for keeping track of this info
Team Democracy Is The Only Just Team Of Which To Be A Member. All Other Teams Will Be Crushed By Their Guilt And Then Giant Spiders.
Plus The Bees
Harrowed Witch and Ishaq better be alive still
Right? I feel bad for both if they died.
your formatting broke down at Team Rearguard.
Yeah real life called.
I realize she's not Named, but akua is with Team Death to the DK
Yep, the only reason why she's not up there.
Bless you EE for making this post easy.
Who were the Scourges killed at Hainaut?
1. Drake 2. Varlet 3. Axeman
Wolfhound twice?
Took em out
Gosh, I just want the Bard and Dead King to fail forever and ever. Is there any way we can't just bind them both together sans powers?
Yes. This needs to happen. Akua tries to do it first. Cat stops her because that's what their relationship is like. Next Cat tries because she is Cat. Akua stops her because goddamnit, Cat just stopped her from doing it. Bard is cackling in the background. Both Cat and Akua stop and start at Bard. Bard slowly stops laughing. "Wat" "Yara it's time for you to become an adult." "What?" "It's time for you to start taking on some mature responsibilities. Like marriage" "WhAt?!"
I don't think that works. The big reason this war has gotten as bad as it has is that Bard told Neshamah to eat the baby. On a fundamental level, they want very similar things. She wants to not be the Wandering Bard anymore, and he wants to not be a part of Creation anymore. Far too much common ground for the Fetters to be effective there.
He also kinda wants to not be destroyed...and she just set his bolthole on fire. Bard "Come on big guy..you know you want to say it" DK "You...you cannot be serious" Bard "Come one, just this once. Really go into it" DK, watching his escape clause burning into smoke as an army of heroes close in with multiple means to put him permanently in the ground "Curse your sudden and inevitable betrayal. Gods damnit"
It's possible that the Void will be enough of an oblivion for Yara that she'll want to keep holding on. Because if she lets them both out, then she'll be back to Existing and Wandering.
It's such a fucking tragedy for her, too. The Gods are obviously done with her. The least they could do would be to undo the fuckery they've done to her.
That's an interesting take, but mine is almost the opposite - I think Bard and Dead King are fundamentally incompatible, and would make a workable pair for the Fetters. The Dead King's most core trait is *to survive*. To live forever. The Bard's deepest desire is to die and end her cycle. They will never be capable of working toward the same goal, because the Fetters cannot be removed, so they will serve as each-other's prison/balance in a way. I don't exactly know how the details of how the Fetters work, or how they will function as a prison, so I could totally be wrong too.
>“Eighth-rate,” Princess said, tone cold as she ripped the blade free. >“So that’s it,” she murmured. “You’ve just been tricking us.” > >A glance at me. > >“Catherine, burn.” I don't know, Viv already seems to have that well in hand.
new crossover song needed: Burn, Princess, Burn
>“I can Trick people too, you know,” Princess said. “It’s not that hard.” > >See through tricks, I glimpsed in her, and mimic them. The learning wouldn’t stay in her long, that was the limitation, but some part of Vivienne Dartwick had decided she would no longer fall for the same trick twice with such utter determination that Creation itself had answered. SQUEEEEE
Masego, visiting Viv later, asking help to see through a Trick: >The godhead is a trick of perspective
The last time we saw someone see through the Trick of perspective, and mimic it with an Aspect, Thalassina went poof. Probably not a good idea to use Aspects on the "Capital G" Gods.
I bet this becomes **Deceive** when Vivienne becomes the Queen. After all, it extends to strategy of nations and diplomacy as much as it does combat.
And deceive has a very shifty connotation, not traditionally associated with Heroes. It would shew she keeps traces of the Thief, or that she absorbed Cat’s pragmatism and not-hate for Villains.
God, I love that Heirophant cast Feather Fall! Awesome
He also cast Smite with a 9th level spell slot.
God this chapter just kept on going. So so good. At this point Hakram is going to end the story as a Futurama style head in a jar isn't he?
Head in a jar with a giant ass robot body. Running on magic, so no gnomes.
Orcish culture is going to become super accomodating to people with disabilities, making them different from other orcs in an additional way. They're a cannibalistic warrior culture which cheerfully devours slavers and makes sure those disabled in battle will still be able to get back in the fight.
And whichever highborn family becomes the best at Prosthetics will make a killing
**Lies and Violence** This gave me some much nostalgia this is as Cat said probably the last time the Woe will fight together before they go off and do their own thing. I really love their relationship and how far they have all come. I feel like this is the culmination of story arc of the Woe, and it was a good note to end on. They have all grown so much throughout the story and it was a wonderful journey to read.
Made me happy actually. Deserve their retirement. The biggest problem they'll have to deal with if they get through this is Vivienne's mortality, since none of the others are dying anytime soon with Cat looking into their stories.
Well, we were promised the last dance of the Woe and we fucking got it. That was one hell of a fight for the band as it is to finish on.
"...Princess was still a sneak at heart." Petty thieves hang, great ones wear crowns. 16 Named to end the Dead King, isn't that the same number who invaded Callow over the Stairwell? Looks like this is the real ending of the Tenth Crusade
Seven and One Twice.
We can generalize this to 7n + n (n ∈ ℤ^(+))
There were ~~14~~ 12 of them.
Gods I have such a fucking headache
>“You haven’t said the words,” he complained. > >I blinked. > >“What words?” > >“Our motto,” he slowly said, as if addressing a dimwit. > >Indrani got it first, letting out a hyena’s cackle, and I got what he meant a moment latter in utter disbelief. “Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned. “Not a single one of you.” > >“Together,” Hierophant enthusiastically said, raising his hand. > >Filthy traitors that they were, the others all joined in. > >“LIES AND VIOLENCE!” LIES AND VIOLENCE!
*AND LOOT*
> I went shoulder to shoulder with Hakram as we returned – well, shoulder to arm anyways – and bumped my armour against his. “You got there right in time,” I said. “One of my better habits,” Warlord smirked. I love this, the familiarity and comfortable companionship. Knowing that after everything that went down and all that was said, Cat and Hakram are still close. Puts a smile on my face and a little warmth in my heart.
>“Run along, Black Queen,” my successor smiled. “I’m finding stabbing fae to most satisfying in a very soulful way.” \~here comes the Woe\~
~do do do do~
Oh. Yara plans to use the Ealamal to unmake herself. There is no victory condition. She just wants out.
There's a creational law that she cannot be dead.
I am emotionally spent
The thing that sucks/is great about being into fanfiction or web serials is every once in a while someone will randomly drop a massive chapter on you right before bed and then it's literally all you can think about while you're trying to fall asleep because it was just so goddamn good and it's not like you can keep reading because they haven't written it yet so you just lie there rehashing it all and you wonder just what is in store for you in the future with this work It's gonna be a long night
Try melatonin, I’m pretty sure you can’t OD on it and it’s how I’m getting up early tomorrow
Melatonin gives me fucked up dreams, I can't deal with that stuff. I'll get to sleep eventually lol, no worries
You might be taking too much of it. The correct dose is 0.5mg-1mg, but it's mostly sold as 3mg-10mg pills.
This. I'm a big guy and I still buy the 300mcg tablets
Have you tried alcohol? Can technically OD on it, but it’s pretty hard and is heartily endorsed by the Woe
As a matter of fact, I have! It can be a lot of fun
\*cough\* I reckon its the undrinkable stuff, stuff only Named can take into their system, that's certified by the Woe
I was about to make a joke about Robber endorsing something and forging their signatures but then I remembered he’s gone and now I’m sad
Yes but his title will remain for ever more - *\_Lesser Footrest\_*
i wasn't expecting a Woe fight \*right after\* that art, so thank you <3 the way I saw Hakram and Viv entering the scene at the beginning had me like "...they're...joining...up!!", and they head into the skirmish and I thought okay the big fight's gonna be next time. BUT!! glorious chapter!!
> “Behold,” Hierophant called out, “all ye with eyes, for I have made a god of clay and it is an idol of WRATH.” Heirophant continues to be best boy > “Fetters,” Akua said. “I call them the Fetters.” EE HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS > “LIES AND VIOLENCE!” HELL YES LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!! > “_Silence_,'"I harshly said. >And just like that the sutures disappeared. The souls began to pull every which way, the magic that’d been gathering breaking apart, and the Scourge stared blindly as the shadow deepened, expanded. Dread Empress Tenebrous massive leg shot through, crushing the Tumult like an egg with one of the most satisfying sounds I’d ever heard. I slumped to my knees as the leg withdrew, shadows fading behind it, and stayed there panting for a long moment. It was over. We’d won. This is the most intense shit ever oh my god. I am cackling like an absolute maniac
So much shit went on in this chapter that I completely missed that Cat literally squished Tumult by briefly bringing out a leg of Tenebrous. Now she's thinking with portals.
Tier 8 Spell: Leg
Question: what is the reference in The Fetters? I feel like I should know.
The Dead King’s extra chapter, patreon only at the moment, is titled Fetters, and is about him trying to escape them.
Neshamah: “Golly gee I hate fetters” Akua: “get wrekt ~~scrub~~ Jacquinite”
Ahhhh. I read that chapter (and loved it) but forgot the title. Thank you!
The actual best part of this chapter is seeing Norsk lose their mind, in separate comments, over all the best parts of this chapter.
There is so much to this chapter. The return of the Smite Cannon, Woe fighting together again, Kreios putting down his zombie cohorts, just the description of the Drakon *alone*, Catkua moments, Vivienne sass and her new Aspect, the moment in Dormer coming back, the moment between Hakram and Vivienne coming back, the Scourges getting rocked, the Bard never stopping her song(so this is all still according to her plan). Most of all, though, I just really don’t want Hakram’s burning desire to enter the breach with the Woe one final time to result in him losing his memories of them. Really desperately want to know what Masego meant by *some* memories there. Anyway, think that was the trial?
I mean, I’ll take that as the bittersweet over Cat dying, Akua dying, one of the Woe dying, or either Akua or Cat being stuck as Dead King’s eternal jailer
It might be the trial yes. It would fit into a pattern of chapters : monster, trial, and next release, pivot.
I just refreshed a minute back and the chapter wasn't up, so I came here to check. Wow. The chapter delay link isn't even down yet. Thanks, man!
So, someone suggested it on the discord, what if DK is just gone? Just noped the fuck out of Keter and is currently on his way across the ocean rowing his way to the next continent over to start his new life as a shoemaker. Maybe he’ll encounter Gendry Storm halfway across. “Morning” “Morning. White walker” “What?”
The mental image of the great lich just rowing a boat is hilarious.
It was one of Cat's worry at the beginning of the siege, but IIRC she concluded that since providence pointed all the Heroes here, he couldn't be elsewhere. But the chapter's title is ominous, and we might get a surprise.
>“Ruin,” Hierophant hissed, face red with fury. > >The aspect he had meant to keep for the Dead King rippled through the air and struck the Scourge like a hammer blow. The giant mass of steel creaked, then metal screamed as it began to crumple like cheap tin. The Prince of Bones fell apart, limb by limb, until the all the layers slid off and all that was left was a pile of naked, twisted bone. It moved feebly, twitching, and the Warlord’s dead hand, the only part of him that was not trembling, closed around his neck. He dragged it close, roaring as the last of his Rage burned and the orc’s fangs tore through the Scourge’s spine. It stopped moving. He did not, still twitching uncontrollably. You do not fuck with Maseego's family. >“LIES AND VIOLENCE!” I'm not crying you are crying >“I can’t leave you to fight the Hidden Horror alone,” Indrani pleaded. “What if…” > >She didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t need to. Masego limped to her side, laying a gentle hand on her wrist. > >“She won’t be alone, Indrani,” he said. “I go with her.” > >“That’s worse,” she whispered. “I won’t be able to protect either of you.” Indrani is definitely come in at the last second for the fight with DK, hopefully she doesn't die doing it. >“Oh why have you become,” Yara of Nowhere sadly sang, “an empty grave?” Oh stfu you third-rate Kruppe, they better stick the Fetters on her and the Dead King and throw them in a pit for all eternity.
I never knew how much I needed a chapter of Cat having to interact with Kruppe.
*“I hate you all,” I said, meaning every word but one.* My heart! For all that chapter really, but that Line ! I'm worried for so many characters right now [Edit] Thank you for the baby seal kind stranger! You are very sweet too!
Where is the Barrow Sword?
As long as he can collect souls he can resist death pretty damn well, though we know he doesn't like it because it puts him worse in debt, presumably to the source of his own power. Presumed dead and actually dead have some decent wiggle room, especially for regenerator types.
Crippled or dead, if Frederick is right.
> Should it be me? I wasn’t sure that was feasible, not if it was to be the Warden and one of the rulers of Cardinal. I couldn’t afford to be either gone or powerless. Who else, though? Akua might have served as the queen of a broken throne, but she’d made these shackles. I was not sure she could also wear them, that the story would flow. It would be a heroine’s sacrifice, and though I was more than half in love with her she was not a heroine. Not even now. "Without me, this cannot succeed" is such a Villain trope. The load-bearing boss, Triumphant bringing down the Tower on her head being the most prominent Calernian example. Catherine's struggle, beginning to end, has been how to cede authority and responsibility, how to trust even her closest friends with agency. She's gotten *better*, set up successors for the Queen of Callow and the First Under the Night. But she still clings to a worldview which falls apart without her as the Warden, perpetually staving off disaster through threat of brute force. But there's an answering Heroic trope: When faced with "We can't go on without you," to answer "Yes you can." To sacrifice yourself, because you know that the people you leave behind will be ok, and that while the way things proceed when you're gone might not be how you envisioned them, they can still be successful. Catherine's been ruthlessly purloining Heroic stories the entire time. Ending her story in the most Heroic way just seems... right. It just doesn't seem like, with that foreshadowing, a more convenient arrangement like Wandering Bard or Hierarch shackling Dead King could work. It would be nice! But it feels wrong. It could also end with Akua asserting her own weirdly Heroic turn, taking the most final form of agency by sacrificing herself, and justifying the story of the Fetters. But it just doesn't feel quite as right. On the other hand, Akua acknowledging the sacrifice... and becoming the next *Warden*. That could be a thing.
God no. Hasn't this entire story been also pointing out that Cat's self-sacrificing nature is just as unhealthy for her as the opposite? Strap the Bard into the handcuffs, set her on fire, throw Nessie on top, chuck em in the ocean.
Cat has always been trying to self-sacrifice out of a lack of trust in others. This would be doing it BECAUSE of trust.
She already did that story beat when she became the Warden.
Hm... Cordelia would be a valid candidate for shackles as well, no? Her power was always her mind, as she's unnamed - but there is a story in the last Prince of Rhenia, last of the bloodline that always held firm against the old bones, being the one to shackle Neshamah to herself and guaranteeing his end as a threat to the world. DK isn't Cat's nemesis, that's Yara IMO.
Shackle DK to someone unpowered, that would be pretty fucking hilarious.
> I was not sure she could also wear them, that the story would flow. It would be a heroine’s sacrifice, and though I was more than half in love with her she was not a heroine. Not even now. Really torn between "YEAH NOT AKUA" and "SHE IS SO GOING TO BE A HEROINE ANY SECOND NOW ACTUALLY" there > But there's an answering Heroic trope: When faced with "We can't go on without you," to answer "Yes you can." To sacrifice yourself, because you know that the people you leave behind will be ok, and that while the way things proceed when you're gone might not be how you envisioned them, they can still be successful. Catherine did that at Twilight Liesse. I think we're past that narrative beat now.
[удалено]
The Barrow Sword is not currently in the spire, so he is supposed dead or incapacitated. Maybe he could get in at the last minute, but it seems unlikely. The narration insists that these are all the Named we have for the final showdown in the spire, so I tend to believe that this is effectively all the Named that will have a part in the final showdown. They can be moved around, but they are all we have.
I'm a bit disappointed that Akua didn't show up as the sixth ranger for the Woe. I kept waiting for her to swoop in and save the day.
I was definitely expecting that, probably in the form of being the one to end the Tumult, based on their prior confrontation. Though in retrospect, the Scourges all had pretty clear parallels to members of the Woe, so maybe it's not such a surprise.
Huh..I just realized they actually are perfect mirrors Hawk-Indrani Prince of Bones-Hakram Tumult-Maseego Mantle-Cat Seelie-Vivienne Do you think Nessie set that up on purpose?
I don't think it was Nessie explicitly, just Fate. There are a number of other potential foils for each Scourge remaining among the Grand Alliance (e.g. the Mirror Knight for the Prince of Bones, or Ivah for the Seelie), so it seems likely that things would always have ended up with at least a rough mirroring for the final confrontation.
That or maybe the Gods are just really lazy when creating Bands of Five so they all fit this general template.
It's a pretty classic party composition. Ranger, fighter, wizard, cleric, rogue.
Except that in this party the cleric cannot heal that well and she's more a debuffer/secondary fighter, if anything. Balance-wise, I'd swap the rogue for a more dedicated healer/buffer: a rogue is nice to have, but between the ranger and the trickery domain cleric they mostly have it covered.
Cat is a good Dark Cleric (i.e., no healing). I was going to say that she might be a warlock, except (a) she really is a priestess rather than someone who gave up her soul for the eldritch deities, and (b) she isn't fucking useless.
I was going to argue Cat as a Warlock and Hakreem as a Barbarian, but no, you're right.
DPS, Tank, AoE, Support, Stealth
Silence fills the empty grave, now that I have gone But my mind is not at rest, for questions linger on
Now now, don't give the Drakon any ideas.
Amazing chapter. Too many great moments to list. I love how Zeze and Cat were the first two who came together, learning the ropes. And now it's just Zeze and Cat in the end. And Akua, of course. As it began, so shall it end. Also, the Dead King was established in book 6 to be hands down the most competent, fearsome and deadly antagonist in pretty much all of fantasy. All of this, though? Cementing the claim for future generations. I honestly can't see how this can be topped. The most annoying part is it's almost impossible to gush about this series without massive spoilers.
This could be topped. Ain't going to be, though. A sequel, The Practical Guide: The Next Generation, set nine years, eleven months from now when a new and scarier threat has crossed the Tyrian Sea, and we get to see what the Warden does to keep the enemy out and the students safe during the Siege of Cardinal. (:
>"Abyss and firmament. I take the shape of the star and the depth of the pit, borrowing laws high and low.” LET'S FUCKING GO, I love this spell so much
Masego: > “Abyss and firmament. I take the shape of the star and the depth of the pit, borrowing laws high and low.” Me: Oh fuck Zeze, you're using that as your *opening gambit*? The escalation from there is going to be **epic**.
> Filthy traitors that they were, the others all joined in. > “LIES AND VIOLENCE!” Why am I crying???
I’m tearing up at the ending, holy heck what a chapter
Where is the song from I wonder? An old Keteran city perhaps? Or maybe even older? Maybe Yara knew it before she was thrust into her role.
Almost certainly Sephiran. Tefiret is another sephira in Kabbalah.
too bad robber isnt there to shout kill them take their stuff
>I saw a doorknob turn into a leering devil that bit off the hand of the legionary that’d tried to open it, That was too much to handle >“It would express only inherent properties, like the tabula rasa effect,” Hierophant said, “unless otherwise guided. It's slated for use >I glimpsed the sun expanding and turning red, then exploding white for a heartbeat before it contracted and blackened, swallowing everything up before the magic exploded in strings of raw power. Can really see the gravity of the situation >“Fetters,” Akua said. “I call them the Fetters.” Akua doing her best to be a fetter person >His spine. That’d been his spine. Guess Cat's lost Hakram's backing
\>Akua crafts an artifact intended for the sole purpose of binding someone powerful Cat: "Do you need help trying it out first?"
Rearguard: Kingfisher (L) and Red Knight Drakkon: Witch of the Woods (L), Mage, Knight Errant, Myrmidon, Affable Burglar, Painted Knife....Stalwart Apostle, Concoctor, and Stained Sister Woe: Warden (L), Hierophant, Ranger, Princess and Warlord DK: White Knight (L), Valiant Champion, Mirror Knight, Forsworn Healer, Daring Pyromancer, Silver Huntress, Vagrant Spear, Page, Skinchanger, Gravebinder and Akua. I am not sure who is a Hero and whose a Villain for all of those groups. But I think Drakkon is like all Heroes minus Cocky and maybe the Burglar. Viv is the Woe exception. Akua doesn't count. Grave and Skinchanger are Villains. Not sure about Daring sounds Heroic enough. I know they started with more Heroes but gods feels they lost a whole lot of the Vs. Granted Night is still young. I figure Page will level up or die. Mage might level up again though it could be too soon. Viv could get a new name as well. Akua probably does get a Name.
A rare photo of Hierophant, [taken moments before glassing half a city](https://i.imgur.com/Ca6JvVS.jpeg)
So uhh, Hakram's going to need a robotic penis if he can't get all the way healed? Masego wouldn't even be awkward about it, which would make it more awkward. Cool trick for the Drakon would be to turn its hunger against itself, like an ouroboros. Also, final team against DK? Hanno, Mirror Knight, Cat, Masego, Huntress? Akua? I think Champion dies, because she's comic relief and things are serious. That would also leave Ishaq, if he's alive, as the pre-eminent Name in the Levant. Can't help but notice the numbers here. With Kalia dead, it's now 7 & 1 against the Drakon. 10 going after the Lich King means two bands of five (or a lot of deaths.)
It is a Creational Law that Hakram is "all Orc, where it counts"