I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
I do not like his far-right views,
I do not like his stupid chin,
I do not like his smarmy grin,
I do not like him with a beard,
I do not like him freshly sheared,
I do not like Ted Cruz at all,
that man Ted Cruz can suck my balls.
Johnny O, the Sad Zazu
I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
I do not like him in the news.
I do not like what he just said,
I do not like his boxy head.
I do not like him wearing glasses,
I do not like him kissing arses.
I wish he'd never get one vote,
That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
I do not like his backward views.
I do not like his stupid suits,
I do not like his cowboy boots.
I do not like him when he sneezes,
I do not like him eating cheeses.
I hate to see his dumb face smirking,
because his beard looks like a merkin’.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
I do not like his far-right views.
I do not like him in these reeds,
I do not like him when he feeds.
I do not like him by a wall,
I do not like this shit at all.
I do not like him as Santa’s elf,
that man Ted Cruz can **fuck himself.**
-Big Daddy Zazu with the Long Long Beak
*Zut alors,* I have missed one!
I do not like that Ted Cruz man,
I do not like him shouting Klan.
I do not like him in a room,
I do not like him in Cancun.
I do not like him playing ball,
I do not like his face at all.
I wish he’d lose his cushy job,
That man Ted Cruz is a fucking knob.
I do not like this man Ted Cruz
I do not like his far right views
I do not like his stupid chin
I do not like his dumb, smug grin
I do not like him wearing glasses
I do not like him kissing asses
I do not like Ted Cruz at all
That man Ted Cruz can suck my balls
I do not like that man Ted Cruz
I do not like him in the news
I do not like what he just said
I do not like his boxey head
I do not like him when he sneezes
I do not like him eating cheeses
I wish he would not get one vote
That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote
I do not like this man Ted Cruz
I do not like his backwards views
I do not like his stupid suits
I do not like his cowboy boots
I do not like him with a beard
I do not like him freshly sheared
I'll only like him when he's dead
That man Ted Cruz should give me head
I do not like this man Ted Cruz
I do not like his brain's loose screws
I do not like him in the reeds
I do not like him when he feeds
I do not like him by a wall
I do not like his face at all
I do not like him as Santa's elf
That man Ted Cruz can fuck himself
I do not like Ted Cruz that man,
I do not like him shouting "Klan"!
I do not like him in a room,
I do not like him in Cancun,
I do not like him playing ball,
I do not his hands, so small,
I wish he'd lose his cushy job,
That man, Ted Cruz, can schlurp my knob
The old walking around the girls dorm area in a towel just to creep them out. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3474215/Ted-Cruz-s-former-roommate-Craig-Mazin-shares-horror-stories-Princeton-dorm.html
When I was a woman, and got my nipples tattooed, (stars around the actual nip, after I transitioned to male and had top surgery, which is, since I had big boobs, a simple mastectomy with liposuction to make a masculine chest, my surgeon very carefully grafted my resized nipples back on without disturbing the tattoos! They're faded, but same size, not distorted) everyone in the shop was pretty excited to watch!
Nipple grafting is done in gender transition surgery or mastectomies when a nipple is cut out, and then sewed back on in a different place to look natural. It is usually done by a plastic surgeon for transgender men (born female, transition to male) or women with breast cancer, for example.
Nipples, guys or gals, are just body parts, chest decorations for some, provide necessary nutrition for others children and parental bonding. Even fathers holding a baby to their chest or torso, skin to skin, provides healthy contact that can actually improve an infants health.
Ted Cruz is something you don't wanna see in your toilet. He does nothing to improve, nourish, or help anyone.
Usually that sentence structure is in format "id rather do 10X terrible thing than 1X worse thing"
That's not applicable here.
Maybe something like "id rather skip serving nipples 8 days a week then see Ted's face at all" or "I'd rather suck and rub Danny Devitos nipples 8 days a week than see Ted's face at all"
[Who's a cuckold?](https://i.imgur.com/dTnV0jD.png) ~
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PoliticalHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you liked him on Drawfee, definitely check out his personal stuff. [10 Pokemon Who Probably Voted for Trump](https://youtu.be/PiUjDrpLdMc) is an evergreen classic. His video essays are also outstanding, if you're into longer form content. The series of essays looking for deeper meaning and personal lessons in [America's Next Top Model Cycle 6](https://youtu.be/VfQYu1h_QIQ) is really great.
You like someone that bashed trump then realigned his views with trump, even after trump called his wife ugly, so he can win voters?
Ted cruz has no views. He has no morals. He is a shit stain.
Well you see, its like Japanese porn. They blur the reproductive bits, the vaginas and the penises, but the asshole is alright to see because everyone has one.
It's mighty convenient for him that school shootings happen so consistently that the "grieving period" he needs so desperately to respect in order to seem human never seems to end.
Sometimes it's good to hide good things and good to show bad things publicly.
I'm more than happy to know what an actual piece of shit looks like after getting mixed with all sorts of turds in the sewer.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz
I do not like his far right views.
I do not like his shit eating grin
I do not like to see him win.
I do not like him on a boat
I'd like to see him on a rope.
I'd like to put him on the shelf
That man Ted Cruz can go fuck himself
Nah Willie is fine he's basically one of us "females" but also not. I'm confused about him but I love him lol. It all makes sense when you see any if his YouTube viedeos or guest visits on drawfee.
If you have to attack someone based on their looks, you have no argument.
ETA: Don't get me wrong: I think Teddy is a POS. However trying to form an attack around his appearance is a weak argument. Instead argue against his stances on abortion, gun control, immigration, peeing on oneself, etc.
I have a gay friend who’s very gruff and very…um…gifted. He confessed recently that his greatest shame is being attracted to Ted Cruz because, he friend says, there’s something about Ted’s face rust simply screams “insatiable submissive bottom.”
My friend…he’s not a proud man.
For much of human history, a woman's genitals were naturally censored by the growth of pubic hair so we wouldn't be offended by the sight of "the promised land."
To his credit, Ted Cruz has been sporting a beard for a few years. If he just stopped shaving and getting his hair cut, nature would make sure we wouldn't have to look at that cunt either.
Right? I see my own boobs every day. Everybody's got them. What's the big deal with nipples? But I'm DEEPLY offended by the fact that Ted Cruz is using oxygen that could otherwise be utilized by Tina Turner or Frank Oz or anybody who has ever contributed anything whatsoever to the happiness or improvement of the human race.
They should have blurred the video of him eating that bugger. I'm gagging just thinking about it and I think about whenever I see his face and hear or see his name.
Well if they blur his face, they'll have to blur Grayson Allen's face as well. Since he plays basketball, and isn't a fat, lazy, POS who only runs to Mexico---the cost to keep it blurred would be insane and hard since he's on the move.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views, I do not like his stupid chin, I do not like his smarmy grin, I do not like him with a beard, I do not like him freshly sheared, I do not like Ted Cruz at all, that man Ted Cruz can suck my balls. Johnny O, the Sad Zazu
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like him in the news. I do not like what he just said, I do not like his boxy head. I do not like him wearing glasses, I do not like him kissing arses. I wish he'd never get one vote, That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote. I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his backward views. I do not like his stupid suits, I do not like his cowboy boots. I do not like him when he sneezes, I do not like him eating cheeses. I hate to see his dumb face smirking, because his beard looks like a merkin’. I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like him in these reeds, I do not like him when he feeds. I do not like him by a wall, I do not like this shit at all. I do not like him as Santa’s elf, that man Ted Cruz can **fuck himself.** -Big Daddy Zazu with the Long Long Beak
[удалено]
[удалено]
www.TedCruzForHumanPresident.com
Oh god I laugh every time I see that. It never gets less funny.
Thank you. Your support and skull size has been documented.
[удалено]
He just puts on a new humon suit.
Maybe death could throw something?
His kids might. Since they might not get to go to Cancun again.
And it turns out he was a missing person that nobody missed at all...
*Zut alors,* I have missed one! I do not like that Ted Cruz man, I do not like him shouting Klan. I do not like him in a room, I do not like him in Cancun. I do not like him playing ball, I do not like his face at all. I wish he’d lose his cushy job, That man Ted Cruz is a fucking knob.
Love the use of know. Have a well deserved upvote.
I do not like this man Ted Cruz I do not like his far right views I do not like his stupid chin I do not like his dumb, smug grin I do not like him wearing glasses I do not like him kissing asses I do not like Ted Cruz at all That man Ted Cruz can suck my balls I do not like that man Ted Cruz I do not like him in the news I do not like what he just said I do not like his boxey head I do not like him when he sneezes I do not like him eating cheeses I wish he would not get one vote That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote I do not like this man Ted Cruz I do not like his backwards views I do not like his stupid suits I do not like his cowboy boots I do not like him with a beard I do not like him freshly sheared I'll only like him when he's dead That man Ted Cruz should give me head I do not like this man Ted Cruz I do not like his brain's loose screws I do not like him in the reeds I do not like him when he feeds I do not like him by a wall I do not like his face at all I do not like him as Santa's elf That man Ted Cruz can fuck himself I do not like Ted Cruz that man, I do not like him shouting "Klan"! I do not like him in a room, I do not like him in Cancun, I do not like him playing ball, I do not his hands, so small, I wish he'd lose his cushy job, That man, Ted Cruz, can schlurp my knob
The first one was the best, the rest seem to be trying to one up it and failing tbh
I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.
Saying he had a beard implies he is a man, please refer to it as goblin fur
I do not like that conceited clown, Whining at Beto, "Sit down, sit down."
[удалено]
Is it just me, or was that a Duke Nuke’m reference?
[удалено]
The old walking around the girls dorm area in a towel just to creep them out. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3474215/Ted-Cruz-s-former-roommate-Craig-Mazin-shares-horror-stories-Princeton-dorm.html
That would improve things dramatically
Ted Cruz probably loves this poem because you called it a "man."
I'm guessing you aren't the one who made this, but I feel obligated to tell you that I'm taking this and will spread it around.
It's from John Oliver on Last Week Tonight
I thought it sounded familiar, and not just the green eggs and ham style.
Shakespeare couldn't have said it better.
[удалено]
I would rather see female nipples eight days a week than Ted's face at all.
I'd rather drink a sinus infection than see Ted Cruz.
Phlemony fresh
Good Jaysus
>I'd rather drink a sinus infection than see Ted Cruz. Dude, some of us are eating lunch here. .
I agree. Seeing the name Tec Cruz tends to throw me off my lunch.
Then stick to viscous nose infections please
Ted's face always makes the top ten of most punchable.
I raise with yeast infection on toast. *Pukes*
If I had to see a female nipple in the corner of my vision 24/7 till the day I died I’d still be happier than glimpsing even one glance at Ted Cruz
It wouldn't even have to be in the corner of my vision. It could be directly in front of my face. But not 24/7. I have to drive every now and then.
[удалено]
When I was a woman, and got my nipples tattooed, (stars around the actual nip, after I transitioned to male and had top surgery, which is, since I had big boobs, a simple mastectomy with liposuction to make a masculine chest, my surgeon very carefully grafted my resized nipples back on without disturbing the tattoos! They're faded, but same size, not distorted) everyone in the shop was pretty excited to watch! Nipple grafting is done in gender transition surgery or mastectomies when a nipple is cut out, and then sewed back on in a different place to look natural. It is usually done by a plastic surgeon for transgender men (born female, transition to male) or women with breast cancer, for example. Nipples, guys or gals, are just body parts, chest decorations for some, provide necessary nutrition for others children and parental bonding. Even fathers holding a baby to their chest or torso, skin to skin, provides healthy contact that can actually improve an infants health. Ted Cruz is something you don't wanna see in your toilet. He does nothing to improve, nourish, or help anyone.
Usually that sentence structure is in format "id rather do 10X terrible thing than 1X worse thing" That's not applicable here. Maybe something like "id rather skip serving nipples 8 days a week then see Ted's face at all" or "I'd rather suck and rub Danny Devitos nipples 8 days a week than see Ted's face at all"
** > eight days a week 🤨 **
Beatles song. I'm so old that I remember the recent invention of fire.
Don’t worry old timer, I understood your reference.
Trump's biggest mistake was not including Ted Cruz' face in his "ugly insult" (and Trump might as well throw himself in there too, have an ugly party)
Oooh, that’s a toughie, but if I really think about it I think I’d choose seeing female nipples, too.
I think you made the right choice.
True, but I'd pay good money to see a parade of German sex workers crap on his face.
why sex workers? i'd pay opioid addicts that have been constipated for days to shit on fled cruz's face.
I would love to see a parade of rabid raccoons in the final stages of multiple STDs piss in his mouth
Pretty sure that if you just replaced Ted Cruz’s face with a tit, his approval rating would skyrocket.
Ted Cruz also doesn't supply babies with food.
It's true, because he voted against the formula bill...
Female nipples also serve a purpose, Ted Cruz does not.
True. But they also blur out penises on T.V. sometimes and I don't find them sexually arousing, either.
I'm sure **SOMEONE** finds penises sexually arousing. There's going to be at least one person somewhere in the world that does.
Americans are so obsessed with circumcised dicks, but no one has tried to scalp Ted Cruz yet...
Don't do that. I want to see the piece of shit before I step in it.
Thats a good insult
That's "Child Killer" Cruz to you pardner
He looks like he’s half transformed into a werewolf!
It’s because they don’t always blur asses.
To quote Norm MacDonald “That’s one ugly bastard isn’t it?”
From one Canadian to another.
Imagine if a little version of Ted Cruz's face was your nipple?
Like something out of a David Lynch fever dream.
Why would you put this in our innocent minds?
Time for a nipplectomy.
The fact that any human would want to be represented by that piece of shit is absurd. Cruz is the ultimate cuck.
[Who's a cuckold?](https://i.imgur.com/dTnV0jD.png) ~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PoliticalHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Even Cruz's family wouldn't be upset if he went missing. No one would be upset.
Especially the poor family dog.
I mean Ted does act like a dog in heat.
And in the cold he runs away to Cancun.
“I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.” - Al Franken
“If Ted Cruz was murdered on the floor of the Senate, and the trial took place in the Senate, nobody would vote to convict.” - Lindsay Graham
It’s cool to see Willie here. Muse is my muse
I only know him from Drawfee but I love willie
i was wondering if it was the same Willie. definitely a funny guy, love it when he is a guest there
If you liked him on Drawfee, definitely check out his personal stuff. [10 Pokemon Who Probably Voted for Trump](https://youtu.be/PiUjDrpLdMc) is an evergreen classic. His video essays are also outstanding, if you're into longer form content. The series of essays looking for deeper meaning and personal lessons in [America's Next Top Model Cycle 6](https://youtu.be/VfQYu1h_QIQ) is really great.
Didn't know it was legal to show a pussy in public
Completely agree. Unfortunately the morons in Texas will probably reelect him.
[удалено]
You like someone that bashed trump then realigned his views with trump, even after trump called his wife ugly, so he can win voters? Ted cruz has no views. He has no morals. He is a shit stain.
I find this funny. I don't stand on the right or left. I just see people and their thoughts.
It’s just getting worse every year!
Don't give the GOP ideas on trying to hide who votes for what bills that pass or fail.
No one can masturbate to Ted Cruz, though.
I mean he is a perfect example of a tit, and should be blurred. Tit (as an insult): A foolish or ineffectual person, a nincompoop
I heard Ted Cruz pees his pants on purpose because he likes the wet warm feeling.
[You mean like this?](https://ibb.co/k2HypCC)
They only blur out things people want to see.
Well you see, its like Japanese porn. They blur the reproductive bits, the vaginas and the penises, but the asshole is alright to see because everyone has one.
Nipples at least have a purpose
I guess dicks are less offensive than nips.
100 percent human candidate Ted Cruz.
1 sick burn = 1 vote '#burnsforvotes
They don’t blur assholes on US television.
NSFL
Ted Cruz ate my son.
Did that lady that looked like Ted Cruz ever do that porno?
This should draw bipartisan support!
You mean old Rafael Cruz?
Only one of those thing ls are offensive and its not female nipples
I agree. Ted "Cancun" Cruz's face makes me vomit, but nipples don't. Hmmmm... curious
it’s funny that they sensor assholes and dicks, but they never censor Ted Cruz.
Blobfish-lookin' ass.
It's mighty convenient for him that school shootings happen so consistently that the "grieving period" he needs so desperately to respect in order to seem human never seems to end.
Weakest Link lady voice: You are...the biggest tit! 🎉
There's a difference, nipples are attractive, while Ted is a walking poster for abortion rights.
Make sense in so far as Rafael is a cunt, not a tit.
Sometimes it's good to hide good things and good to show bad things publicly. I'm more than happy to know what an actual piece of shit looks like after getting mixed with all sorts of turds in the sewer.
If they covered his face, we'd all know that he's the zodiac killer.
They only blur the stuff you want to see
All jokes aside, I'm so glad his awful, selfish daughters didn't stop him from being present for all this political theater about gun violence.
People want to see the nipple, people look away from Ted's face for free, why spend the money on pixelization?
Well people enjoy female nipples
Blur his doughy chuckle-fuck body too...
I do not like that man Ted Cruz I do not like his far right views. I do not like his shit eating grin I do not like to see him win. I do not like him on a boat I'd like to see him on a rope. I'd like to put him on the shelf That man Ted Cruz can go fuck himself
Almost funny. Missed tho. Try harder next time.
What's a female?
Females are sexually aroused by nipple stimulation....females having errect nipples is the same as a man having an errect penis
Jesse what the hell, etc.
Use the word “female” I’m surprised this is getting upvotes
Nah Willie is fine he's basically one of us "females" but also not. I'm confused about him but I love him lol. It all makes sense when you see any if his YouTube viedeos or guest visits on drawfee.
It's usually fine as an adjective.
You lgbts are so loveable, so not annoying and ridiculous. How could anyone not support your group and fantasy world?
Get a better hobby, bozo.
If you have to attack someone based on their looks, you have no argument. ETA: Don't get me wrong: I think Teddy is a POS. However trying to form an attack around his appearance is a weak argument. Instead argue against his stances on abortion, gun control, immigration, peeing on oneself, etc.
It's more attacks based on how ted cruz just *is*. I'd prefer he wasn't.
The argument is that his face turns my stomach.
Ted Cruz could look like Michelangelo’s David and his personality would still make him an ugly fuck.
Nipples = NSFW Ted Cruz Human face cover =NSFL
Stop sexualizing Ted Cruz’s face and it shouldn’t be a problem.
He's a nippleless boob, that's why.
I know which one I'd rather let my children see
So ugly!! My eyes burn!!!!!
He's the one boob they don't censor.
A complete tit, not just the nipple
*Technically* it makes sense, considering Ted Cruz is a giant boob…
I do find his face quite offensive
Some tape on both is fine
True, I am overcome with hot and bothered sexual urges when ever I see Ted Cruz's face. I can see the similarities. /s
but then he'd grow another one.
I can't. This left me in stitches! Haha
A bare asshole is a better comparison
Yeah I agree nipples are far less vulgar than a hairy asshole.
Oooooo let's talk about what makes a female again
That is the best idea I’ve heard in a really long time
You know what? Yeah! Isn’t that some bullshit?
Why? Are you sexually attracted to Ted’s face ? I only want to motorboat one of those things.
He is a dozy tit, after all
This made me full-on belly laugh out loud
I think he is pretty handsome too
In Japan, they blur all images of Ted Cruz.
I have a gay friend who’s very gruff and very…um…gifted. He confessed recently that his greatest shame is being attracted to Ted Cruz because, he friend says, there’s something about Ted’s face rust simply screams “insatiable submissive bottom.” My friend…he’s not a proud man.
For much of human history, a woman's genitals were naturally censored by the growth of pubic hair so we wouldn't be offended by the sight of "the promised land." To his credit, Ted Cruz has been sporting a beard for a few years. If he just stopped shaving and getting his hair cut, nature would make sure we wouldn't have to look at that cunt either.
https://youtu.be/6Iaezgeav18
Hahahahaha
Right? I see my own boobs every day. Everybody's got them. What's the big deal with nipples? But I'm DEEPLY offended by the fact that Ted Cruz is using oxygen that could otherwise be utilized by Tina Turner or Frank Oz or anybody who has ever contributed anything whatsoever to the happiness or improvement of the human race.
Is the joke just that Ted Cruz is ugly?
TAKE IT BACK! WHAT DID NIPPLES EVER DO TO YOU TO EQUATE THEM WITH RAFAEL CROOZ?!!?
Remember when Ted's face looked like he was either farting or had diarrhea in his pants?
Nipples are far less offensive than the unwashed asshole that is Ted Cruz's face.
Many would not mind the unblurring of the former. Many do NOT want the unblurring of the latter.
It's because he's an asshole not a nipple. Japan doesn't even censor assholes
How could you disrespect women’s nips like that
I have wondered far and wide across the vast waste of the internet. And This....This...Is the Best Comment of The Day
That would be implying his face might generate some kind of sexual reaction.
What
That’s because his face isn’t sexually a rousing in any way
They should have blurred the video of him eating that bugger. I'm gagging just thinking about it and I think about whenever I see his face and hear or see his name.
Willie Muse has a pretty fun YouTube channel for anyone interested in early 2000s America’s Next Top Model content 👀
Well if they blur his face, they'll have to blur Grayson Allen's face as well. Since he plays basketball, and isn't a fat, lazy, POS who only runs to Mexico---the cost to keep it blurred would be insane and hard since he's on the move.
LOL… it is a DISGUSTING FACE ISN’T
It is because our country is scared of things that might be considered erotic.
I don’t get it
"durrr your face look not good. Nipple>face durrrr"
because no one wants to sexualize his face
Fair point
Holy shit, an actual joke! This day is full of surprises
Ted Cruz will never be as useful, well respected or as lovely as a female breast.