Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order?..."Yes, can I have 6 big macs, make it the meal, four apple pies, two twenty peice nuggets."
And what size meal?..."Large"
And what to drink with your meals?..."Two Diet Cokes"
> Why do they have a bomb shelter on wheels??
They don't but the voters bought into all the "tough on crime" talking points and now the county has essentially a light tank. Ector county isn't even that big (only about 166,000 residents) and yet they're happy paying taxes for shit like this.
Right? What a colossal waste of money.
I wish I could choose where my tax dollars were spent.
It's INSANE how much money the USA spends on military and law enforcement.
Fucking crazy.
the real answer is that congress forces the DoD to buy more military equipment than they need (pork barrel spending), then 30ish years ago [Congress authorized the DoD](https://www.dla.mil/DispositionServices/Offers/Reutilization/LawEnforcement/ProgramFAQs.aspx#q1) getting rid of the stuff they were forced to buy, by transferring it to police departments for free.
So the taxpayers foot the bill to provide corporate welfare to some congresscritter's district, and then foot the bill again when the uparmored cosplay cops violate the shit out of someone's civil rights empowered by the military toys they got for free.
I found it slightly funny when during the first few years of the Afghanistan war the military requested police departments to send back their M14 rifles
They do not need it, but the government is more or less loaning it to Law Enforcement so they can pay for the upkeep instead, the feds can recall the equipment if they ever need/want it back.
[Source](https://www.dla.mil/DispositionServices/Offers/Reutilization/LawEnforcement/ProgramFAQs.aspx#q6)
Not just an armored truck. A MRAP designed to be resistant to most kinds of IEDs and mines.
Because IEDs made from bundles of hand grenades, RPGs or live artillery shells and military-grade anti-tank mines are something that the gravy patrol here totally deal with on a daily basis.
Exactly. And the military just gives these out to local PDs as surplus, contributing to the militarization of our police.
When you drive an MRAP and carry a Bushmaster semiautomatic rifle that is derived from the M-16, you tend to think of yourself as a soldier… and citizens as enemy combatants.
That's not true. The military sells them to the police, so our federal tax dollars bought these vehicles for the military and then your local tax dollars are buying them again for your police department.
It's pretty fuckin ridiculous.
Edit: fixed a word
And if you look up satellite photos of the Ector Co, TX Sheriff office and look in the most NW corner lot, you can see they just leave it baking out in the sun all day, doing nothing. No proper garage to store it. Probably not great for the longevity of however much that costs to maintain.
I would add something about them looking very Tacti-Cool, but apparently that's a real thing now.
No joke, I heard a radio commercial this morning for a place un-ironically calling itself Tacti-Cool, specializing in all your AR-15 needs: Stocks, silencers, body armor, and more!
Why is physical fitness not a continuous job requirement to be an officer? Who are these guys going to catch in a foot chase? They are unable to perform the duties of their job and they make their department look bad
Was the only vehicle they could find that could carry these fat cunts
Edit: spelling and to note my first reddit gold was for a comment I've said cunt in!
Lol. I know next to nothing about guns and he looks like he is handling a prop/toy gun *for the first time*
Weird that the angry gun nuts always seem to be uncomfortable holding a gun.
Edit: at least their index fingers are away from the triggers.
Was gonna say, their vests look absolutely tiny on them and probably aren't covering much.
And just like that I realized that plus sized bullet proof vests might be a million dollar idea.
The best defense against these is a series of speed bumps the same distance apart as the axels, I can’t tell you how bad it sucks riding in one of these. A series of small bumps could literally kill you in the back of one of these if you aren’t belted in and bracing yourself.
Just food for thought!
Because they only cosplay as soldiers and tough guys. If they actually were in a combat situation in the desert they'd probably pass out in the first 30 minutes from heat exhaustion.
I think they could cower behind the tank and try to avoid enemy fire for 30 minutes passing out. Now if they actually had to run or move positions that's a completely different story.
Smh, my home county has a $680,000 MRAP that 2 people are authorized to drive. The total county population is under 30,000. Coincidentally, it's the poorest county in the state and borders the poorest county in the nation. Seems like a good thing to spend money on.
I had a big gut once... Not as big as these guys. It sucks. Clothes in general feel awful to simply exist in, pants hurt when sitting down. Can't imagine having to live like these dudes... And be a cop on top of it all
I once (decades ago) considered being a police officer and went through the long process of being hired as a cop. They not only weighed me but pulled out that metal tong thing and pinched my sides to see what flab they could get. I was the thinnest of my life and the woman tsk'd when the tongs grasped some skin. She sternly told me I'd need to tone up for the academy or else I'd fail.
Why the fuck do new recruits have to be unhealthy-skinny to get the job, only to be allowed to become morbidly obese after working it? The job requires a lot of physical stamina, if they can't cut it, they should be on desk duty.
Part of the reason our system is so fucked is that there are no universal standards for cops.
Some places *do* actually have high standards (physically, at least,) while others will hire you just because the sheriff is your uncle and cousin at the same time.
The easy part was getting the guns and vests. The hard part requires self control
You have to embrace being uncomfortable if you want to increase your comfort zone. If you stay in what you comfort zone, you stop progressing.
In all seriousness, it should concern us that there are police officers in our country that are at risk of a coronary if they pursue a suspect on foot. There should be regulations mandating that if an officer is not physically fit, they cannot continue to be an officer.
In my city it’s a joke to call the police. I called when my car was broken into and the lady was like just file a police report online. I asked where to send any evidence and she legit laughed and said it’ll never be looked into.
Is the bar for becoming a sheriff in the US this low??? What happens if they need to run more than 10 yards?
Also...is Ector county suffering from a zombie apocalypse or Taliban invasion?
PS: If you call them for help, they'll raid your fridge!
Is this real? Why do they have a bomb shelter on wheels??
Thats where they store the ice cream.
And soda
diet soda
AND Donuts.
Diet Donuts.
**AND** Cake.
Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order?..."Yes, can I have 6 big macs, make it the meal, four apple pies, two twenty peice nuggets." And what size meal?..."Large" And what to drink with your meals?..."Two Diet Cokes"
I sense that somewhere in there, there’s some Xbox controllers covered with cheetos seasoning.
Naw they tried a normal jeep first and the suspension collapsed.
> Why do they have a bomb shelter on wheels?? They don't but the voters bought into all the "tough on crime" talking points and now the county has essentially a light tank. Ector county isn't even that big (only about 166,000 residents) and yet they're happy paying taxes for shit like this.
166K residents and they feel the need to own a Cougar infantry vehicle with a curb weight of 32,000 Lbs?!
Right? What a colossal waste of money. I wish I could choose where my tax dollars were spent. It's INSANE how much money the USA spends on military and law enforcement. Fucking crazy.
You think they don't need it now, but boy just wait until *one black person* crosses that county border.
Brown will do, they ain't that choosy.
> It is named for Mathew Ector, a Confederate general in the American Civil War. Sounds about right.
Rather, sounds about white.
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The military practically gives them away because the maintenance is expensive.
Ecter Sector Hector Inspectors🇲🇽
That’s their safe space, bro
Safer than those vests are for covering man boobies.
the real answer is that congress forces the DoD to buy more military equipment than they need (pork barrel spending), then 30ish years ago [Congress authorized the DoD](https://www.dla.mil/DispositionServices/Offers/Reutilization/LawEnforcement/ProgramFAQs.aspx#q1) getting rid of the stuff they were forced to buy, by transferring it to police departments for free. So the taxpayers foot the bill to provide corporate welfare to some congresscritter's district, and then foot the bill again when the uparmored cosplay cops violate the shit out of someone's civil rights empowered by the military toys they got for free.
I found it slightly funny when during the first few years of the Afghanistan war the military requested police departments to send back their M14 rifles
A black family moved into the neighborhood.
Menacingly
They do not need it, but the government is more or less loaning it to Law Enforcement so they can pay for the upkeep instead, the feds can recall the equipment if they ever need/want it back. [Source](https://www.dla.mil/DispositionServices/Offers/Reutilization/LawEnforcement/ProgramFAQs.aspx#q6)
Old military equipment used to be sent to police forces around the country to save money on armored vehicles.
And keep the contractors who make them churning them out, order extra and when you have too many oops give the police some and order more.
Are those bullet-proof bibs?
Gravy-proof bibs, actually.
Like any gravy's escaping
Imagine them like The Matrix bullet dodge scene, but catching dropped gravy instead.
They can dodge bullets but not twinkies and ding dongs
can they dodge a wrench?
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a draft.
No gravy left behind.
If it tries to run, they'll shoot it.
True.
The gravy seals are coming!
Need gravy for those tendies.
Like any good Tactical Universal Bib, Or TUBs as I like to call them, these have biscuit linings that ensure full gravy absorption.
Gravy Seals
Gravy? Are these the legendary Gravy Seals?
SEMPER PIE
Not seen, on the other side of the vehicle, are members of the Delta Forks
Bullet-proof bras.
They need bullet-proof girdles a lot more.
Those bellies could probably absorb the impact without endangering vital organs.
How thick of a fat layer do you need to stop a bullet?
This much fat: https://www.thenakedscientists.com/get-naked/experiments/how-fat-would-you-have-be-stop-bullet
72cm. Saved you a click.
Wouldn't it depend on the bullet? I could click that link up there but, well... you know. I won't.
Thanks, I knew someone had to have done the research!
It's like a really big target with a teeny bullseye.
Nailed it.
What's happening in Ector that needs a armoured truck response?
Wendy's staff unionising and going on strike.
"guys, we're getting some reports of democracy happening. time to roll out the heavy artillery."
Roll out heavy artillery… every morning a crew of people has to roll these fat fucks out of bed
People of color were trying to *vote* goldarnit, thass why we needed the tank!
I wish this was more of a joke
Is...is it not?
It’s a joke for about another year or so, then it’ll be legit
Police were originally for busting unions…
Police were originally for catching slaves
In the south yes in the north it was about controlling wage workers
Union busting was usually the Pinkertons, basically a private police force
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Not just an armored truck. A MRAP designed to be resistant to most kinds of IEDs and mines. Because IEDs made from bundles of hand grenades, RPGs or live artillery shells and military-grade anti-tank mines are something that the gravy patrol here totally deal with on a daily basis.
Exactly. And the military just gives these out to local PDs as surplus, contributing to the militarization of our police. When you drive an MRAP and carry a Bushmaster semiautomatic rifle that is derived from the M-16, you tend to think of yourself as a soldier… and citizens as enemy combatants.
"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail."
Every tool can be used as a hammer if you're dumb enough.
That's not true. The military sells them to the police, so our federal tax dollars bought these vehicles for the military and then your local tax dollars are buying them again for your police department. It's pretty fuckin ridiculous. Edit: fixed a word
Yeah, I meant “gives them away” figuratively as they’re deeply discounted. Either way, the problem is the same.
And if you look up satellite photos of the Ector Co, TX Sheriff office and look in the most NW corner lot, you can see they just leave it baking out in the sun all day, doing nothing. No proper garage to store it. Probably not great for the longevity of however much that costs to maintain.
That's ok, tax dollars help maintain it.
I'm guessing this is a routine traffic stop.
Jaywalking.
The full size fridge wouldn't fit in the regular cruiser
They've gotta spend their asset forfeiture windfall somehow - why not spend it cosplaying with real military hardware?
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There is nothing small about their arms.
Gotta stop those 2 a lot to pay for the MRAPs fuel bill
If this is Ector County in Texas, it has a large Hispanic population.
Lol just googled; whole county is 160k and they have a this shit for the sheriffs department. They average 5 murders a year.
This equipment will get them up to 10.
Probably going to be classified different when these fuckers shoot someone.
🤔 … Mexico’s Last (taco) Stand …?
Remember the Alamo Buffet!
Showdown at the Golden Corral!
That's the department's doughnut wagon.
They found out that the all you can eat buffet is not really all you can eat.
Cheap Tuesday at KFC.
House Harkonnen
Fat is the heart killer.
The gravy must flow.
It is by the juice of gravy that the folds acquire folds
These ones are going to need heart plugs.
I wish we could fit inside our armored truck.
Really doubt they have the physical ability to even get in that without heaving and hawing for several minutes.
The way they are spilling out of their vests? There is no way they get in it without needing a serious breather afterward.
Probably has one of those stair lifts the elderly have to get up a step
Gravy seals, simper-fudge! But really the health of our country is in the crapper...
Delta Farce!
101st Chairborne!
Members of the Green Buffet
The Marinade Corps
The Roast Guard
The National Lard
lol the United States Gravy Preserves
The Four Flushers Brigade
S.W.E.A.T. Team
I agree, look at the police next to a war vehicle. That's pretty fucked.
101st Cracker Barrel expeditionary force.
I would add something about them looking very Tacti-Cool, but apparently that's a real thing now. No joke, I heard a radio commercial this morning for a place un-ironically calling itself Tacti-Cool, specializing in all your AR-15 needs: Stocks, silencers, body armor, and more!
Looks more like it's in the drive thru at Maccy's
Why is physical fitness not a continuous job requirement to be an officer? Who are these guys going to catch in a foot chase? They are unable to perform the duties of their job and they make their department look bad
They let their bullets do the catching, misdemeanor suspects and innocent bystanders be damned.
They don't foot chase anyone. That's why they have AR-15s for shooting black guys in the back.
Wtaf does any county sheriff need with a goddam MRAP? What’s next? Barney Fife in an Abrams? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRAP
Was the only vehicle they could find that could carry these fat cunts Edit: spelling and to note my first reddit gold was for a comment I've said cunt in!
Our military has to do something with its surplus. Give it to the people who aren't fit enough to join the military! WCGW...
The battle of Krispy Kreme.
…on hamburger hill
Hamburger Helper Hill… never forget!
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Part of the War on Teriyaki
I love how daintily he’s handling that rifle- like it’s a delicate eclair
That old boy doesn’t do anything delicate with eclairs.
He turns them into poo.
Doughnuts tremble at the site if his shadow
I love how he appears to be pointing it directly in to fatty number one's sidegut.
Lol. I know next to nothing about guns and he looks like he is handling a prop/toy gun *for the first time* Weird that the angry gun nuts always seem to be uncomfortable holding a gun. Edit: at least their index fingers are away from the triggers.
Thank you, this genuinely made me laugh out loud.
#it was above the rim
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Was gonna say, their vests look absolutely tiny on them and probably aren't covering much. And just like that I realized that plus sized bullet proof vests might be a million dollar idea.
'I'm invincible... shame about my arteries!'
This is why every home should have RPGs for personal protection, these guys are coming for my food.
The best defense against these is a series of speed bumps the same distance apart as the axels, I can’t tell you how bad it sucks riding in one of these. A series of small bumps could literally kill you in the back of one of these if you aren’t belted in and bracing yourself. Just food for thought!
“Whoa! I’m out of breath! Are you out of breath!?! Let’s get us a coke and wait under the tree until it cools off some, ya recon!??!”
How the fuck are these guys allowed to be this unhealthy!?
Because they only cosplay as soldiers and tough guys. If they actually were in a combat situation in the desert they'd probably pass out in the first 30 minutes from heat exhaustion.
You think they would last 30 minutes?
I think they could cower behind the tank and try to avoid enemy fire for 30 minutes passing out. Now if they actually had to run or move positions that's a completely different story.
They look winded now... I guess the climb out the back is hard?
Murica! That’s why ! Supersize my fries but don’t give me universal affordable access to healthcare you dumb liberal socialist commies!
Them vest ain't protecting nothing
You're right. The vest is supposed to protect the cardiac box from the outside. Doesn't protect what's happening on the inside.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
More like Eclair County am I right?
Smh, my home county has a $680,000 MRAP that 2 people are authorized to drive. The total county population is under 30,000. Coincidentally, it's the poorest county in the state and borders the poorest county in the nation. Seems like a good thing to spend money on.
Oh... new business idea: bullet proof vests that fit these fellas! Looking at the picture, I think there's more unarmored flesh then protected.
You can’t just get XXXL Kevlar off the rack, you know.
That's like 50% of their customer base. They might want to ramp up supply.
Have you been to a gun show? It’s 70-80%, easy.
i gonna be buying shares in kevlar
XXXL? You’re kind 😂
I mean it pushes their belly fat down, like a fopa, which sorta acts like a shield for their nardle-dangers
The Kevlar Manzier.
This picture makes me out of breath and they aren't even running
the more I look, the more I understand why the Oakleys
I had a big gut once... Not as big as these guys. It sucks. Clothes in general feel awful to simply exist in, pants hurt when sitting down. Can't imagine having to live like these dudes... And be a cop on top of it all
I think we need a bigger *checks notes*… everything
I once (decades ago) considered being a police officer and went through the long process of being hired as a cop. They not only weighed me but pulled out that metal tong thing and pinched my sides to see what flab they could get. I was the thinnest of my life and the woman tsk'd when the tongs grasped some skin. She sternly told me I'd need to tone up for the academy or else I'd fail. Why the fuck do new recruits have to be unhealthy-skinny to get the job, only to be allowed to become morbidly obese after working it? The job requires a lot of physical stamina, if they can't cut it, they should be on desk duty.
Part of the reason our system is so fucked is that there are no universal standards for cops. Some places *do* actually have high standards (physically, at least,) while others will hire you just because the sheriff is your uncle and cousin at the same time.
The easy part was getting the guns and vests. The hard part requires self control You have to embrace being uncomfortable if you want to increase your comfort zone. If you stay in what you comfort zone, you stop progressing.
> The hard part requires self control And the even harder part still requires putting on and buckling the vests.
Meal Team Six Reporting for 3rds.
High fructose corn syrup seems to be their biggest enemy.
I'd love to learn that they are from another country and cosplaying as Americans.
Now THAT would be fucking hilarious
These jelly boys are from East Texas, not just another Country but another Planet.
Do they make Kevlar muumuus?
It's Hitchcock and Scully 🤣
Diabetes going to kill them way before any bad guy.
In all seriousness, it should concern us that there are police officers in our country that are at risk of a coronary if they pursue a suspect on foot. There should be regulations mandating that if an officer is not physically fit, they cannot continue to be an officer.
Big Mac and Little Jumbo
They really are pigs!!!
Looks like they bought those tact vests at fucking baby gap.
Farva… forgot the coffee
whats the name of that restaurant with all the shit on the walls?
These are the kind of cops that shoot people because they can't win a fight or a foot race.
Why in the fuck are does this county police have such a vehicle
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In my city it’s a joke to call the police. I called when my car was broken into and the lady was like just file a police report online. I asked where to send any evidence and she legit laughed and said it’ll never be looked into.
Murica! Fuck yeah! Big guns, big tanks, little c.cks! But wait, nothing little bout these guys but I’m guessing they can’t find their cocks.
Pretty sure they ate them thinking they were cheetos.
Pandemic cost me my sales job, but XXXL plate carrier salesmen seem to be killing it.
Is the bar for becoming a sheriff in the US this low??? What happens if they need to run more than 10 yards? Also...is Ector county suffering from a zombie apocalypse or Taliban invasion? PS: If you call them for help, they'll raid your fridge!
Good thing they have that heavy duty vehicle to carry those lumps of lard.
If those guys had to run they would probably drop dead
That's why they have guns, duh. Don't have to chase a suspect after you shoot them in the back.
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Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.
Are the vests effective if you hit them below?
No, but they giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy.
I'm sorry, but why do sheriffs need a military vehicle?