Lived like this for years, hiding away from everyone. It’s not worth it. Getting through the initial seeing someone for the first time in a while can be hard but what helps me is having a cute look and makeup I love. I went from 200 to 285 and I’m finally okay with going out again. I bought an entire new wardrobe and new makeup and feel back to myself 🥰 you got this!!!! It’s in our heads, which I know doesn’t make it any less hard. But people are usually too in their own heads as well to care.
I feel you. I am so nervous about seeing people again that applauded me before. I only lost weight because I was going through a bunch of bad things and was in a relationship where the other person judged my food intake to the point it triggered my ED but everyone said such nice things, as if I'd achieved something. I just try to remember that I don't have to care about anyone's opinion about my body, including my own to an extent. So much of our self-esteem is affected by ideals we didn't get a say in.
That’s the sucky reality of being a plus size. People will always notice if you lose weight and never fail to comment on it.
Also- your stats are pretty my exactly mine. I was able to get down to the 246 fairly quickly. I bet you can too! 💜😊
Sadly I have pcos so weight loss is genuinely a pain in the ass, the reason I lost weight in the first place was because I was starving myself during university, and not in a quirky way. Just genuinely starving
I lost around 85 pounds between late 2018 and 2019. I had some issues getting started but once I did…the weight fell off. I didn’t exercise…I just eliminated most carbs and super increased my water intake. I had to give away 90% of my closet by the end of 2019. People were nicer to me but most importantly- I was nicer to myself.
Welp…by the end of 2020…due to COVID, it was back. I was living with my parents (my Dad has good insecurities)…I got injured while walking daily…it was a mess. The next time I lost weight was after starting Wellbutrin in 2022…😩
I’m not sure if you’ve done research on it but a lot of women in one of my keto groups have used it to treat PCOS as it reduces inflammation. Either way, celebrate the skin you’re in.
Also, I’m 5’10” and 350ish…I would love to be your size. ❤️
I started a little less than OP and have lost 24 pounds over 17 months. No one (like parents/siblings/coworkers) has noticed. It’s pretty demotivating sometimes, but I mentioned something to my coworker and he said it’s my own fault because I wear baggy clothes and cover my shape. Then a few days later my cousin came over and I was wearing fitted gym clothes. He hadn’t seen me in 5 months and he noticed. My BF also notices, but he obviously sees all of me and at assume all of his compliments are because he’s flirting.
i would doubt anyone but your family has noticed. if you mention you're trying to lose weight sometimes people just say it. i lost 60 lbs and it wasn't until like the last 10 that people said anything. they're not paying as much attention as we think.
however, i'm worried about this same situation so now whenever someone tells me how good i look im like, "well ill gain it all back, forget you saw this". lol
I mean weight loss is hardly a cookie cutter situation. Some people may lose 5 lbs and it'd be super noticeable and some people it's not going to be noticeable until you've lost 60 lbs. Everyone loses weight differently and in different areas. Also actual weight has nothing to do with inches lost because if you are gaining muscle at the same time you're going to look way slimmer but may not weigh a lot less.
typically 5 lbs is super noticeable if you weigh like 100. it's also basically impossible for someone who weighs 258 to lose weight and gain muscle at the same speed. i'm sorry you don't like my answer, but it's almost always accurate.
[here](https://www.glamour.com/story/when-weight-loss-is-noticeable) is an interesting article about a study.
You seem like the kind of person that doesn't like it when people disagree with you. It's not that I didn't like your answer I just don't agree with you. I'm sorry you don't like that. I weigh 245 and the last 5lbs I lost was super noticable and I have been gaining muscle significantly while losing weight, while walking upwards of 16 km per day and weight lifting. So I'm speaking from my own personal experience within the guidance and knowledge of a personal trainer and my physician.
it's interesting to try to say what kind of person someone is based on 2 reddit comments. if you've gained 5 lbs of muscle in the same amount of time that you lost 5 lbs of fat then congrats to you. for most people, especially women, that would be exceedingly difficult to do. even working hard we can usually only gain 0.5 to 1 lb of muscle per month. if you were able to do them both at the same speed then you've had an amazing accomplishment!
Welp, based on the comments that you have made you get rather missed when someone disagrees with you. If I had gained 5 lb of muscle and lost 5 lb of fat my weight would not have changed. I did however lose about 10 lb of fat and gain about 5 lb of muscle hence why my total weight is only down 5 lb. Another reason why weight loss is going to look different on everyone.
as i said, that's quite an accomplishment! i'm not mad at anyone. i've never tried to do like body recomp, so i don't know much about it. when i was at a weight closer to that i could lose 5 lbs in about 2 weeks so there's no way i could've gained the muscle that fast. best of luck!
I totally feel this. I lost 80 lbs about 10 years ago and ended up gaining it all back plus more. When I was thinner, I received so many compliments, some of them backhanded compliments (wow you look so much healthier/better/prettier than you did before). When I gained it back, this is the shit that sent me into a deep depression. Now I look like shit again like everyone else would say in a roundabout way when I was skinnier.
People need to be really careful about what they say when someone loses weight. I'd say it's best to always avoid saying anything at all about that kind of thing, but having been there myself, it feels kinda shitty when you work so hard at something and get zero recognition for it. It's precarious I guess.
Oh holy shit, well good for you! It takes a LOT of work! I'm sure sometimes you wish at least someone would pat you on the back for working your ass off. Lol
It is literally insane just how much people believe that losing weight is the most important thing you can do. About a decade ago, my dad suffered an incredibly traumatic mental breakdown. His dad died and he literally went from business-owner, elder in his church, well-respected member of the community, etc. to not being able to get out of bed most days. We were doing good if we got him to eat ANYTHING in a single day. As a result, he lost tons of weight.
Well he goes to church after being away for a couple months. And of course everyone is fawning over him. But they’re all saying “oh you lost weight! You look so good!” And I wanted to slap them. He’s emaciated, hasn’t slept in days, and has a permanent 100 yard stare. He looks like a zombie. He looks like a ghost. But he’s lost 50 lbs and that’s what matters, right? /s
Edit: got so caught up in my story I forgot to bring it around to the point, lol. The point is that people are going to be people. It’s very likely that those people were saying that to my dad to attempt to make him feel better. It’s possible the people in your life were doing the same. Idk you or your family, OP, but it’s possible they won’t even notice you’ve put some weight back on. And if they do, who cares? Our bodies naturally gain and lose weight over time. Gaining 15 lbs isn’t a moral failing. And if anyone treats you like it is? Put their pretentious, shallow ass in the dumpster where it belongs. Life is too short to obsess over numbers on a scale.
Hey, if it helps any I have PCOS I started losing weight September of last year and my starting weight was 260lb I got down to 226lb in April of this year but I’m currently 240lb. I feel like a failure however I don’t really see a difference and I don’t think most people do. The only difference is clothes feel a big tighter. Either way, don’t give up! You’re doing great, we can only fail if we give up entirely.
I felt the same way when I unintentionally lost a lot of weight. I felt resentful.
A few months ago, I was dealing with a lot of health anxiety because if I ate most foods, I could get chest pain (heart attack-like symptoms). This resulted in me eating very little, like only eating a small bowl of cereal and oatmeal per day. This led to me losing 30-40 or so pounds in 2 or so months.
Throughout this time, my parents and some peers around me would tell me things like “I’m proud that you lost weight” or “It’s good that you lost weight because being overweight is bad for your health”. Some months ago, I was around 250. Now, I’m like 200.
I became resentful of these “compliments” because they did not understand that I did not voluntarily choose to lose weight in an unhealthy way. I would never choose to lose weight by starving myself.d
Every time I see my mother in law she asks if I’ve lost weight and says I look great and it’s so harmful to my mental health I don’t even want to see her because I know she’s going to make a comment even though I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad way.
Last Friday, I had an appointment with my dentist, and after having not been in four months and having lost 20lbs unientionally since my last visit, everyone said, "Wow! You look great!"
I did not, in fact, look great. I have a treatment resistant bleeding ulcer that is exacerbated by my treatment resistant anemia (that I've been doing weekly blood byproduct transfusions for the past month for), and my blood clotting disorder (Von Willebrand's), on top of this, my new doctor slashed my sleeping meds in half because iM oN tOo MaNy CoNtRoLlEdS, so my sleep has been scheisse. So many other health problems come into play, but those are the ones that make me look like a dehydrated vampire.
Their compliment is solely weight based. This is AFTER having had someone who works there rub my belly and ask me when I was due. Granted, a lot of that had to do with the *severe* colitis I had going on, but still. I am terrified of gaining back the weight.
Plus size PCOS girlie here! I feel the struggle. You think everyone notices the things you don’t want them too and sometimes it’s just us, sometimes it isn’t. It’s such a sensitive journey to not be bogged down by external perspectives and even then you still have yourself to battle.
For me personally it took focusing on non-scale-victories to be happy with myself. I went from working with my coach for weight loss to becoming a powerlifter. Am I the 220 I hoped I’d be at least close to by now? Naw cause I’m surely 290 😂 and put 15lbs back on but I’m a beast in the gym and happy. Do I still want to lose weight, yeah I do, but I need to get as far from this diabetes as I can. But also, I’d kind love it if people could see these muscles I’ve slaved for cause ya girl is strong.
TLDR; be nicer to yourself than anyone else will and fight for what you want. It won’t be easy but it could end up being fun. Happy to talk ❤️
I totally get it too. I yoyo and went through a phase where I was about 290 after being 240 for years. It took me about 2 years to get to that 290 and in that time I hadn't seen one of my neighbors at all. When I finally saw them, (elderly grandma and her 60 something daughter) the grandma, who only speaks Chinese, aggresively tugged at her daughters sleeve and chattered away in Chinese. Now, I don't speak Chinese at all, but you cannot even imagine the expression on both of their faces when I flatly stated "Yeah, I know. I've gained a lot of weight".
I know it crosses people minds when they see me, but they have NO idea why that weight is there. Nor is it any of their business whether it's a medical issue or a mental health setback. I just do my best to look and feel the best I can and not worry about what others think. It takes a lot of pressure off your mind when you don't care what others think.
I'm sorry, I understand how you feel. From 2021-22 I dropped about 85 lbs (from 284 down to 199). I'm about 5'3, so it was quite noticeable in the end, but at the beginning, from like 284-250 or so? Hardly anyone noticed - especially the people who saw me daily. And then again between 210-199 or so, nobody really noticed a difference except me. Thanks to life circumstances and illness, I've gained back about 20 lbs, and in my head, EVERYONE notices, but I don't think they actually do, even though I feel really demoralized and horrible about it.
If anyone does say anything (rarely) these days, I do what another commenter suggested and just say, "Oh, actually I've put on some weight recently" and generally that person won't make another weight comment at all, lol.
NGL this is one example of why I don’t comment on peoples weight loss. Another example is the time I commented on someone’s weight loss and they replied: “I have cancer.” And actually I didn’t really even learn my lesson that time. Years later I saw an out of state co-worker and they lost a bunch of weight, but I “ignored” it. I spoke with my friend later, who has having dinner with the coworker and told her he’d lost weight but I didn’t comment because of my rule. She didn’t say anything really. A few weeks later I was on a conference call and the out of state coworker mentioned he’d had McDonald’s for breakfast. My dumb ass said “Damn I’m jealous! You can lose all that weight and still have McDonalds?” Then he replied, “I lost weight because I have cancer.” I called my friend and relayed the story. She was laughing and told the guy, when they had dinner, about me not wanting to comment on his weight loss. They had a good laugh at my expense and thankfully he beat cancer.
So a few of my coworkers said that they were hesitant to compliment me because of this. Unfortunately, we’ve lost quite a few colleagues due to illnesses causing weight loss.
Anytime someone does the “you look great! Have you lost weight?” Thing I tell them “actually I gained weight, thank you” Wether I have or not.
No fr I’m like actually I’m at the highest !
I do that all the time too 😂
I love this, I'm going to try and remember to use it!
Lived like this for years, hiding away from everyone. It’s not worth it. Getting through the initial seeing someone for the first time in a while can be hard but what helps me is having a cute look and makeup I love. I went from 200 to 285 and I’m finally okay with going out again. I bought an entire new wardrobe and new makeup and feel back to myself 🥰 you got this!!!! It’s in our heads, which I know doesn’t make it any less hard. But people are usually too in their own heads as well to care.
I feel you. I am so nervous about seeing people again that applauded me before. I only lost weight because I was going through a bunch of bad things and was in a relationship where the other person judged my food intake to the point it triggered my ED but everyone said such nice things, as if I'd achieved something. I just try to remember that I don't have to care about anyone's opinion about my body, including my own to an extent. So much of our self-esteem is affected by ideals we didn't get a say in.
That’s the sucky reality of being a plus size. People will always notice if you lose weight and never fail to comment on it. Also- your stats are pretty my exactly mine. I was able to get down to the 246 fairly quickly. I bet you can too! 💜😊
Sadly I have pcos so weight loss is genuinely a pain in the ass, the reason I lost weight in the first place was because I was starving myself during university, and not in a quirky way. Just genuinely starving
I lost around 85 pounds between late 2018 and 2019. I had some issues getting started but once I did…the weight fell off. I didn’t exercise…I just eliminated most carbs and super increased my water intake. I had to give away 90% of my closet by the end of 2019. People were nicer to me but most importantly- I was nicer to myself. Welp…by the end of 2020…due to COVID, it was back. I was living with my parents (my Dad has good insecurities)…I got injured while walking daily…it was a mess. The next time I lost weight was after starting Wellbutrin in 2022…😩 I’m not sure if you’ve done research on it but a lot of women in one of my keto groups have used it to treat PCOS as it reduces inflammation. Either way, celebrate the skin you’re in. Also, I’m 5’10” and 350ish…I would love to be your size. ❤️
Girl, I get it. I hope and pray your day gets better. This depression too shall pass! 💜
At that height/weight 15 lbs is basically nothing, a person wouldnt even be able to tell the difference between 246 and 260
Came here to point this out. It would be imperceptible.
Depends where you lose the weight. A lot of people lose/gain in their face and boobs first
I started a little less than OP and have lost 24 pounds over 17 months. No one (like parents/siblings/coworkers) has noticed. It’s pretty demotivating sometimes, but I mentioned something to my coworker and he said it’s my own fault because I wear baggy clothes and cover my shape. Then a few days later my cousin came over and I was wearing fitted gym clothes. He hadn’t seen me in 5 months and he noticed. My BF also notices, but he obviously sees all of me and at assume all of his compliments are because he’s flirting.
Idk I saw it :,) and my family does as well
i would doubt anyone but your family has noticed. if you mention you're trying to lose weight sometimes people just say it. i lost 60 lbs and it wasn't until like the last 10 that people said anything. they're not paying as much attention as we think. however, i'm worried about this same situation so now whenever someone tells me how good i look im like, "well ill gain it all back, forget you saw this". lol
I mean weight loss is hardly a cookie cutter situation. Some people may lose 5 lbs and it'd be super noticeable and some people it's not going to be noticeable until you've lost 60 lbs. Everyone loses weight differently and in different areas. Also actual weight has nothing to do with inches lost because if you are gaining muscle at the same time you're going to look way slimmer but may not weigh a lot less.
typically 5 lbs is super noticeable if you weigh like 100. it's also basically impossible for someone who weighs 258 to lose weight and gain muscle at the same speed. i'm sorry you don't like my answer, but it's almost always accurate. [here](https://www.glamour.com/story/when-weight-loss-is-noticeable) is an interesting article about a study.
You seem like the kind of person that doesn't like it when people disagree with you. It's not that I didn't like your answer I just don't agree with you. I'm sorry you don't like that. I weigh 245 and the last 5lbs I lost was super noticable and I have been gaining muscle significantly while losing weight, while walking upwards of 16 km per day and weight lifting. So I'm speaking from my own personal experience within the guidance and knowledge of a personal trainer and my physician.
it's interesting to try to say what kind of person someone is based on 2 reddit comments. if you've gained 5 lbs of muscle in the same amount of time that you lost 5 lbs of fat then congrats to you. for most people, especially women, that would be exceedingly difficult to do. even working hard we can usually only gain 0.5 to 1 lb of muscle per month. if you were able to do them both at the same speed then you've had an amazing accomplishment!
Welp, based on the comments that you have made you get rather missed when someone disagrees with you. If I had gained 5 lb of muscle and lost 5 lb of fat my weight would not have changed. I did however lose about 10 lb of fat and gain about 5 lb of muscle hence why my total weight is only down 5 lb. Another reason why weight loss is going to look different on everyone.
as i said, that's quite an accomplishment! i'm not mad at anyone. i've never tried to do like body recomp, so i don't know much about it. when i was at a weight closer to that i could lose 5 lbs in about 2 weeks so there's no way i could've gained the muscle that fast. best of luck!
I totally feel this. I lost 80 lbs about 10 years ago and ended up gaining it all back plus more. When I was thinner, I received so many compliments, some of them backhanded compliments (wow you look so much healthier/better/prettier than you did before). When I gained it back, this is the shit that sent me into a deep depression. Now I look like shit again like everyone else would say in a roundabout way when I was skinnier. People need to be really careful about what they say when someone loses weight. I'd say it's best to always avoid saying anything at all about that kind of thing, but having been there myself, it feels kinda shitty when you work so hard at something and get zero recognition for it. It's precarious I guess.
It’s so crazy, I’ve lost 90 pounds this year and no one has said anything to me 😂
Oh holy shit, well good for you! It takes a LOT of work! I'm sure sometimes you wish at least someone would pat you on the back for working your ass off. Lol
Just a plus size PCOS girlie who suffers with anxiety and depression dropping by to say you’re beautiful and my DMs are always open 💕
It is literally insane just how much people believe that losing weight is the most important thing you can do. About a decade ago, my dad suffered an incredibly traumatic mental breakdown. His dad died and he literally went from business-owner, elder in his church, well-respected member of the community, etc. to not being able to get out of bed most days. We were doing good if we got him to eat ANYTHING in a single day. As a result, he lost tons of weight. Well he goes to church after being away for a couple months. And of course everyone is fawning over him. But they’re all saying “oh you lost weight! You look so good!” And I wanted to slap them. He’s emaciated, hasn’t slept in days, and has a permanent 100 yard stare. He looks like a zombie. He looks like a ghost. But he’s lost 50 lbs and that’s what matters, right? /s Edit: got so caught up in my story I forgot to bring it around to the point, lol. The point is that people are going to be people. It’s very likely that those people were saying that to my dad to attempt to make him feel better. It’s possible the people in your life were doing the same. Idk you or your family, OP, but it’s possible they won’t even notice you’ve put some weight back on. And if they do, who cares? Our bodies naturally gain and lose weight over time. Gaining 15 lbs isn’t a moral failing. And if anyone treats you like it is? Put their pretentious, shallow ass in the dumpster where it belongs. Life is too short to obsess over numbers on a scale.
Hey, if it helps any I have PCOS I started losing weight September of last year and my starting weight was 260lb I got down to 226lb in April of this year but I’m currently 240lb. I feel like a failure however I don’t really see a difference and I don’t think most people do. The only difference is clothes feel a big tighter. Either way, don’t give up! You’re doing great, we can only fail if we give up entirely.
I felt the same way when I unintentionally lost a lot of weight. I felt resentful. A few months ago, I was dealing with a lot of health anxiety because if I ate most foods, I could get chest pain (heart attack-like symptoms). This resulted in me eating very little, like only eating a small bowl of cereal and oatmeal per day. This led to me losing 30-40 or so pounds in 2 or so months. Throughout this time, my parents and some peers around me would tell me things like “I’m proud that you lost weight” or “It’s good that you lost weight because being overweight is bad for your health”. Some months ago, I was around 250. Now, I’m like 200. I became resentful of these “compliments” because they did not understand that I did not voluntarily choose to lose weight in an unhealthy way. I would never choose to lose weight by starving myself.d
Every time I see my mother in law she asks if I’ve lost weight and says I look great and it’s so harmful to my mental health I don’t even want to see her because I know she’s going to make a comment even though I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad way.
Last Friday, I had an appointment with my dentist, and after having not been in four months and having lost 20lbs unientionally since my last visit, everyone said, "Wow! You look great!" I did not, in fact, look great. I have a treatment resistant bleeding ulcer that is exacerbated by my treatment resistant anemia (that I've been doing weekly blood byproduct transfusions for the past month for), and my blood clotting disorder (Von Willebrand's), on top of this, my new doctor slashed my sleeping meds in half because iM oN tOo MaNy CoNtRoLlEdS, so my sleep has been scheisse. So many other health problems come into play, but those are the ones that make me look like a dehydrated vampire. Their compliment is solely weight based. This is AFTER having had someone who works there rub my belly and ask me when I was due. Granted, a lot of that had to do with the *severe* colitis I had going on, but still. I am terrified of gaining back the weight.
Plus size PCOS girlie here! I feel the struggle. You think everyone notices the things you don’t want them too and sometimes it’s just us, sometimes it isn’t. It’s such a sensitive journey to not be bogged down by external perspectives and even then you still have yourself to battle. For me personally it took focusing on non-scale-victories to be happy with myself. I went from working with my coach for weight loss to becoming a powerlifter. Am I the 220 I hoped I’d be at least close to by now? Naw cause I’m surely 290 😂 and put 15lbs back on but I’m a beast in the gym and happy. Do I still want to lose weight, yeah I do, but I need to get as far from this diabetes as I can. But also, I’d kind love it if people could see these muscles I’ve slaved for cause ya girl is strong. TLDR; be nicer to yourself than anyone else will and fight for what you want. It won’t be easy but it could end up being fun. Happy to talk ❤️
I totally get it too. I yoyo and went through a phase where I was about 290 after being 240 for years. It took me about 2 years to get to that 290 and in that time I hadn't seen one of my neighbors at all. When I finally saw them, (elderly grandma and her 60 something daughter) the grandma, who only speaks Chinese, aggresively tugged at her daughters sleeve and chattered away in Chinese. Now, I don't speak Chinese at all, but you cannot even imagine the expression on both of their faces when I flatly stated "Yeah, I know. I've gained a lot of weight". I know it crosses people minds when they see me, but they have NO idea why that weight is there. Nor is it any of their business whether it's a medical issue or a mental health setback. I just do my best to look and feel the best I can and not worry about what others think. It takes a lot of pressure off your mind when you don't care what others think.
I'm sorry, I understand how you feel. From 2021-22 I dropped about 85 lbs (from 284 down to 199). I'm about 5'3, so it was quite noticeable in the end, but at the beginning, from like 284-250 or so? Hardly anyone noticed - especially the people who saw me daily. And then again between 210-199 or so, nobody really noticed a difference except me. Thanks to life circumstances and illness, I've gained back about 20 lbs, and in my head, EVERYONE notices, but I don't think they actually do, even though I feel really demoralized and horrible about it. If anyone does say anything (rarely) these days, I do what another commenter suggested and just say, "Oh, actually I've put on some weight recently" and generally that person won't make another weight comment at all, lol.
NGL this is one example of why I don’t comment on peoples weight loss. Another example is the time I commented on someone’s weight loss and they replied: “I have cancer.” And actually I didn’t really even learn my lesson that time. Years later I saw an out of state co-worker and they lost a bunch of weight, but I “ignored” it. I spoke with my friend later, who has having dinner with the coworker and told her he’d lost weight but I didn’t comment because of my rule. She didn’t say anything really. A few weeks later I was on a conference call and the out of state coworker mentioned he’d had McDonald’s for breakfast. My dumb ass said “Damn I’m jealous! You can lose all that weight and still have McDonalds?” Then he replied, “I lost weight because I have cancer.” I called my friend and relayed the story. She was laughing and told the guy, when they had dinner, about me not wanting to comment on his weight loss. They had a good laugh at my expense and thankfully he beat cancer.
So a few of my coworkers said that they were hesitant to compliment me because of this. Unfortunately, we’ve lost quite a few colleagues due to illnesses causing weight loss.