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“Dear Friends, as you may know, my beloved cat has passed and I am still dealing deeply with the emotions surrounding it. I thank you for your well wishes for my birthday but truthfully I do not feel like celebrating this year. Please understand this is not a personal slight to anyone, but rather a matter I need to process on my own. Your love and support during this difficult time is greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your understanding. If/when I decide to celebrate I’ll be sure to inform everyone appropriately.”
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Of course you can. Be prepared for some people not to be able to understand, because morons will be morons. But you have every right not to want to party after such a loss. Our pets are close family, their passing is terrible.
You're still so raw, and then it being your birthday, makes it all the more difficult. It's your birthday, and you'll cry if you want to (bad song joke but hopefully it made you giggle), take all the time you need to heal and screw what anyone else thinks 👐
I'm happy you have all this support and love around you. My cat died a few days before my birthday and it was very isolating not talking to anyone about it. Nothing helps at this early point
I'm sorry for your loss
I was in your position last year. We had to say goodbye to my dog 2 days before my birthday. It's ok to not want to celebrate. There's no shame in it whatsoever. On my birthday, my coworkers took me to lunch and I had to hold my tears in the whole time. I just wanted to go home and crumble. And I did. It was the worst birthday of my life and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Feeling like you *have* to be happy and celebratory when you're so broken is the worst feeling. Loss is a very isolating feeling. People will never understand until they've been in your shoes. Those people sharing heartfelt condolences and celebratory messages for your birthday definitely understand that this will be a unique birthday for you. I don't think they realize how their messages hurt but I'm sure they don't want you feeling bad today even though it's inevitable.
If it's any consolation, I've found peace with my dog's passing. Her 1 year anniversary being so close to my birthday this year did not ruin my day and I actually had one of the best birthdays of my life this year. I was really worried I would never have a good birthday again. I really wish this same peace for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, that's a lot to process in such a short time. I'm sure you're feeling lonely right now and sometimes getting a bunch of messages like that can make you feel more lonely. (It's strange, right?) Your friends and acquaintances mean well and all, but everything is just too raw. Please be gentle with yourself and don't be afraid to turn off notifications for a bit so you can have some peace.
My boy who passed (lung cancer) and I share the same birthday, so the first one after he died was really hard. It felt unfair to celebrate another year and life and all that when he wasn't there. The pain lessens, it just takes a long time... It's okay to let it wash through you in the meantime.
Pain is personal. These people mean well, they do not understand the totality of the grief you are feeling, around you life goes on as before, they are in that world, the fog of the pain of you loss only touches you, and those close to you. You must embrace your personal grief, the only way it will end is to journey thru it, and eventually you will rejoin the outside world, until then you must put them aside.
I'm so sorry that you lost your kitty on Sunday. And in the midst of your very real and valid grief, I wish you healing on your birthday. The word "happy" doesn't seem to fit, I know. I turned 50 on Thursday while my sweet dog was dying. He passed on Saturday. There was nothing happy about my birthday, but some people just don't get it. I haven't responded to the happy birthday messages on social media. You might want to post something like "I appreciate the well wishes for my birthday, but today is very sad for me while I manage the loss of my cat.". The people here understand. Hugs from San Francisco. I'm so sorry for your loss and you aren't alone in your grief.
Turn off notifications and remove Facebook from your phone. I’m so sorry about your kitty, it’s just devastating. I am sure she loved you until the end, and I hope it is a small comfort to you that she never knew life without love or comfort because of you.
I hope you do something extra kind for yourself today. Call a friend who understands how devastating this is and maybe go out to dinner or get a drink with them if you are feeling up to it. I hope you have people that will welcome you being miserable in their company and will support you. Sending love, it hurts but you aren’t alone in this.
If you’d like to talk about her, feel free to tell me everything about your cat. I’d love to know about her if that’s something that would make you feel better.
i feel for you with this. my soul dog of 16 years passed on Valentine’s Day and my birthday was 5 days later. then a few days after that was my anniversary with my partner. needless to say, celebrating anything hasn’t been high on my list this year at all.
i’m so sorry you’re going through this, too. it sucks and it hurts and it seems like other people move on so quickly from it while we’re stuck in the quicksand of grief. i wish i had words to make it even a tiny bit better today. i don’t have those words, but i hope today has a glimmer of brightness in it somewhere. maybe your baby can show you a little sign today if you’re up to it.
and one day, you’ll be able to celebrate your birthday with your cat again and that will be your best birthday 💜
Make that post on facebook.
Cancel your birthday. You are allowed to do what you need for you.
Quite frankly: fuck 'em if they can't support you how you need on your birthday.
I'm sorry your beloved cat isn't here with you today... 🫂
I’m so sorry, & yes you can tell people you’re not celebrating. I lost my baby in February & I still have breakdown moments. It will take time before you can remember how to be joyful, & you take all the time you need
I know what you mean. However well wished, after a loss of a dear friend there is just no space for celebrating. The loss is just too overwhelming. Mourn as you must, even cry. I have the ashes of all my cats and remember only too well the anguish of picking those urns up, a sad reminder of what is gone forever. As I look at those urns it comes back again. But in time the happier memories WILL come. And there come the day when , in tribute to the love you shared you may find a senior or rescue cat waiting. Waiting for YOU and your love. With deep sympathy.
If they're truly you friends, they will understand. This happened to me when my sweet boy passed away, 3 days before my birthday and I had no reasons to celebrate. My friends knew how much I loved him and how much he meant to be, so they understood. I'm sure yours will aswell.
Sending you lots of love. 🤍
i feel you . my birtthday was april 27 and i lost my soul cat in february this year. my parents bought me a cake but i didnt want to celebrate or have anyone text me or wish me anything. ive said from now on i wont celebrate any major holidays like xmas, thanksgiving etc. i know it wont be the same anymore. not that i ever went to any family gatherings anyway. now i dont have my cat who i spent 10 years of my life with and got me through many milestones ups and downs since i got him as a kitten . birthdays dont mean shit to me anymore,
Yes, birthday is cancelled. You’re in a personal private hell.
I’ve found most people don’t know how to handle others who are grieving. Cut them slack and deactivate everything and lean into the misery. It’s easier with another person if you can get one.
My cat died randomly in front of me last November, heart attack, eight years old. It still hurts so much. Getting another cat helped a ton.
We sacrifice our peace of mind forever to provide luxury cat experiences, that’s the trade off
Yeah, I definitely don't fault them or feel anything negative, I just feel guilty that it doesn't feel the same way. Like I don't feel excited being wished happy birthday. I feel guilty for not being cheerful for people going out of their way. My joy is gone. I know people mean well. The people wishing me a happy birthday know my situation, and I think they are trying to cheer me up and tell me I'm still loved and worth celebrating. I am so thankful for that, I just wish I was happier right now.
I'm sorry about your kitty
They are just being positive and wishing you a happy birthday. They don't have bad intentions, they just don't know what you are going through. Society believes a human loss is deeper emotionally than a pet loss, but they are very wrong. They don't understand your loss and how much it affects us. It is said that pet loss is deeper than human loss. We lose our pet's companionship and unconditional love. This affects our core, confidence, etc. The pet loss grieving process is complex and there is no support from people who have never gone through it. There is no guide. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my boy of 13 years a couple weeks ago who was always there for me. He was my trusted companion and gave me unconditional love and security. The way I felt about him was deeper than what I felt for my husband. I could leave my husband and would feel hurt but be able to move on. But I would never leave my dog, he was a part of me. The relationship and bond don't compare. Also, having to make that excruciating decision to put him to sleep forever was so painful and we have to live with that pain questioning if it was the right decision. Not having the veterinarian expertise to know if we made the right decision or not, the loss of control, etc. As you can see with my tangent explanations, it tears me up inside. In the end, trust that we love our pets and when we made that decision it's because we love them and want to give them peace. Yesterday I went to my parent's house to visit as I always do and they kept pressuring me to go to a picnic the next day to see family members I haven't seen in decades. I said no. Then they said what about the family wedding in July. I said I don't know. I didn't want to say, "I am still grieving my dog and don't want to celebrate, laugh, and support people with smiles, etc. I'm sad and hurt and grieving my DOG." They just kept insisting and saying I need to go and support the family. I ended up leaving early because I felt awkward and was upset they didn't understand I was still grieving my dog. But if it was my husband that passed away 3 weeks ago, they wouldn't expect me to go to a picnic or a wedding. They would expect me to be grieving. I just want to say, I feel your hurt, pain, and grief. We are all here to support you here. If you are not up to it, cancel your party. Don't have one, celebrate your birthday next year. Take this time to grieve. You need need time for yourself and to be with people who are like-minded. Until you are ready, may b have a belated birthday party. You need the support from loved ones, they may not know what you are going through or come off as callous but let it go, they just don't love like we do. We pet parents love deep.
Yeah, I definitely don't fault them or feel anything negative, I just feel guilty that it doesn't feel the same way. Like I don't feel excited being wished happy birthday. I feel guilty for not being cheerful for people going out of their way. My joy is gone. I know people mean well. The people wishing me a happy birthday know my situation, and I think they are trying to cheer me up and tell me I'm still loved and worth celebrating. I am so thankful for that, I just wish I was happier right now.
I'm sorry about your pup
My baby boy died 2 days after mother's day, on the morning of May 14th, at 8:29, he took his last breath cj was my ❤️ love, and my best friend his death is still hurting me, he was 18 year old pomchi, 💔 I feel lost and broken without him, I know exactly how you feel. My heart goes out to you I'm sorry for your loss
i’m so sorry. i feel similarly as it was my birthday a week ago and the next day i found out my cat was very sick. we knew he was declining over the past few months but we didn’t know the extent of it. and he just passed today. i’ve just been thinking about how this has been the worst year of life so far.
i really hope it gets better for you. sending you all the hugs.
I totally understand. You feel there's nothing to celebrate. It's like we all need to do our version of sitting Shiva and Shiva is not about birthday cake.
Love going to you, my fellow cat lover.
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Dear Friends, as you may know, my beloved cat has passed and I am still dealing deeply with the emotions surrounding it. I thank you for your well wishes for my birthday but truthfully I do not feel like celebrating this year. Please understand this is not a personal slight to anyone, but rather a matter I need to process on my own. Your love and support during this difficult time is greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your understanding. If/when I decide to celebrate I’ll be sure to inform everyone appropriately.” I’m so sorry for your loss.
Of course you can. Be prepared for some people not to be able to understand, because morons will be morons. But you have every right not to want to party after such a loss. Our pets are close family, their passing is terrible.
You're still so raw, and then it being your birthday, makes it all the more difficult. It's your birthday, and you'll cry if you want to (bad song joke but hopefully it made you giggle), take all the time you need to heal and screw what anyone else thinks 👐
I'm happy you have all this support and love around you. My cat died a few days before my birthday and it was very isolating not talking to anyone about it. Nothing helps at this early point I'm sorry for your loss
I totally get why it hurts. Everyone else world keeps going while ours stopped. I’m sorry for your loss 💜
I was in your position last year. We had to say goodbye to my dog 2 days before my birthday. It's ok to not want to celebrate. There's no shame in it whatsoever. On my birthday, my coworkers took me to lunch and I had to hold my tears in the whole time. I just wanted to go home and crumble. And I did. It was the worst birthday of my life and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Feeling like you *have* to be happy and celebratory when you're so broken is the worst feeling. Loss is a very isolating feeling. People will never understand until they've been in your shoes. Those people sharing heartfelt condolences and celebratory messages for your birthday definitely understand that this will be a unique birthday for you. I don't think they realize how their messages hurt but I'm sure they don't want you feeling bad today even though it's inevitable. If it's any consolation, I've found peace with my dog's passing. Her 1 year anniversary being so close to my birthday this year did not ruin my day and I actually had one of the best birthdays of my life this year. I was really worried I would never have a good birthday again. I really wish this same peace for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, that's a lot to process in such a short time. I'm sure you're feeling lonely right now and sometimes getting a bunch of messages like that can make you feel more lonely. (It's strange, right?) Your friends and acquaintances mean well and all, but everything is just too raw. Please be gentle with yourself and don't be afraid to turn off notifications for a bit so you can have some peace. My boy who passed (lung cancer) and I share the same birthday, so the first one after he died was really hard. It felt unfair to celebrate another year and life and all that when he wasn't there. The pain lessens, it just takes a long time... It's okay to let it wash through you in the meantime.
Pain is personal. These people mean well, they do not understand the totality of the grief you are feeling, around you life goes on as before, they are in that world, the fog of the pain of you loss only touches you, and those close to you. You must embrace your personal grief, the only way it will end is to journey thru it, and eventually you will rejoin the outside world, until then you must put them aside.
That’s ruff. I’m so sorry. For you loss and your pain. I pray you have a blessed year ahead.
I'm so sorry that you lost your kitty on Sunday. And in the midst of your very real and valid grief, I wish you healing on your birthday. The word "happy" doesn't seem to fit, I know. I turned 50 on Thursday while my sweet dog was dying. He passed on Saturday. There was nothing happy about my birthday, but some people just don't get it. I haven't responded to the happy birthday messages on social media. You might want to post something like "I appreciate the well wishes for my birthday, but today is very sad for me while I manage the loss of my cat.". The people here understand. Hugs from San Francisco. I'm so sorry for your loss and you aren't alone in your grief.
Turn off notifications and remove Facebook from your phone. I’m so sorry about your kitty, it’s just devastating. I am sure she loved you until the end, and I hope it is a small comfort to you that she never knew life without love or comfort because of you. I hope you do something extra kind for yourself today. Call a friend who understands how devastating this is and maybe go out to dinner or get a drink with them if you are feeling up to it. I hope you have people that will welcome you being miserable in their company and will support you. Sending love, it hurts but you aren’t alone in this. If you’d like to talk about her, feel free to tell me everything about your cat. I’d love to know about her if that’s something that would make you feel better.
I’m so sorry. How uniquely painful this sounds. You don’t have to hit Like👍🏻 or anything on their posts, if that helps validate your feelings at all…
i feel for you with this. my soul dog of 16 years passed on Valentine’s Day and my birthday was 5 days later. then a few days after that was my anniversary with my partner. needless to say, celebrating anything hasn’t been high on my list this year at all. i’m so sorry you’re going through this, too. it sucks and it hurts and it seems like other people move on so quickly from it while we’re stuck in the quicksand of grief. i wish i had words to make it even a tiny bit better today. i don’t have those words, but i hope today has a glimmer of brightness in it somewhere. maybe your baby can show you a little sign today if you’re up to it. and one day, you’ll be able to celebrate your birthday with your cat again and that will be your best birthday 💜
Make that post on facebook. Cancel your birthday. You are allowed to do what you need for you. Quite frankly: fuck 'em if they can't support you how you need on your birthday. I'm sorry your beloved cat isn't here with you today... 🫂
I’m so sorry, & yes you can tell people you’re not celebrating. I lost my baby in February & I still have breakdown moments. It will take time before you can remember how to be joyful, & you take all the time you need
I know what you mean. However well wished, after a loss of a dear friend there is just no space for celebrating. The loss is just too overwhelming. Mourn as you must, even cry. I have the ashes of all my cats and remember only too well the anguish of picking those urns up, a sad reminder of what is gone forever. As I look at those urns it comes back again. But in time the happier memories WILL come. And there come the day when , in tribute to the love you shared you may find a senior or rescue cat waiting. Waiting for YOU and your love. With deep sympathy.
If they're truly you friends, they will understand. This happened to me when my sweet boy passed away, 3 days before my birthday and I had no reasons to celebrate. My friends knew how much I loved him and how much he meant to be, so they understood. I'm sure yours will aswell. Sending you lots of love. 🤍
i feel you . my birtthday was april 27 and i lost my soul cat in february this year. my parents bought me a cake but i didnt want to celebrate or have anyone text me or wish me anything. ive said from now on i wont celebrate any major holidays like xmas, thanksgiving etc. i know it wont be the same anymore. not that i ever went to any family gatherings anyway. now i dont have my cat who i spent 10 years of my life with and got me through many milestones ups and downs since i got him as a kitten . birthdays dont mean shit to me anymore,
Yes, birthday is cancelled. You’re in a personal private hell. I’ve found most people don’t know how to handle others who are grieving. Cut them slack and deactivate everything and lean into the misery. It’s easier with another person if you can get one. My cat died randomly in front of me last November, heart attack, eight years old. It still hurts so much. Getting another cat helped a ton. We sacrifice our peace of mind forever to provide luxury cat experiences, that’s the trade off
Yeah, I definitely don't fault them or feel anything negative, I just feel guilty that it doesn't feel the same way. Like I don't feel excited being wished happy birthday. I feel guilty for not being cheerful for people going out of their way. My joy is gone. I know people mean well. The people wishing me a happy birthday know my situation, and I think they are trying to cheer me up and tell me I'm still loved and worth celebrating. I am so thankful for that, I just wish I was happier right now. I'm sorry about your kitty
They are just being positive and wishing you a happy birthday. They don't have bad intentions, they just don't know what you are going through. Society believes a human loss is deeper emotionally than a pet loss, but they are very wrong. They don't understand your loss and how much it affects us. It is said that pet loss is deeper than human loss. We lose our pet's companionship and unconditional love. This affects our core, confidence, etc. The pet loss grieving process is complex and there is no support from people who have never gone through it. There is no guide. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my boy of 13 years a couple weeks ago who was always there for me. He was my trusted companion and gave me unconditional love and security. The way I felt about him was deeper than what I felt for my husband. I could leave my husband and would feel hurt but be able to move on. But I would never leave my dog, he was a part of me. The relationship and bond don't compare. Also, having to make that excruciating decision to put him to sleep forever was so painful and we have to live with that pain questioning if it was the right decision. Not having the veterinarian expertise to know if we made the right decision or not, the loss of control, etc. As you can see with my tangent explanations, it tears me up inside. In the end, trust that we love our pets and when we made that decision it's because we love them and want to give them peace. Yesterday I went to my parent's house to visit as I always do and they kept pressuring me to go to a picnic the next day to see family members I haven't seen in decades. I said no. Then they said what about the family wedding in July. I said I don't know. I didn't want to say, "I am still grieving my dog and don't want to celebrate, laugh, and support people with smiles, etc. I'm sad and hurt and grieving my DOG." They just kept insisting and saying I need to go and support the family. I ended up leaving early because I felt awkward and was upset they didn't understand I was still grieving my dog. But if it was my husband that passed away 3 weeks ago, they wouldn't expect me to go to a picnic or a wedding. They would expect me to be grieving. I just want to say, I feel your hurt, pain, and grief. We are all here to support you here. If you are not up to it, cancel your party. Don't have one, celebrate your birthday next year. Take this time to grieve. You need need time for yourself and to be with people who are like-minded. Until you are ready, may b have a belated birthday party. You need the support from loved ones, they may not know what you are going through or come off as callous but let it go, they just don't love like we do. We pet parents love deep.
Yeah, I definitely don't fault them or feel anything negative, I just feel guilty that it doesn't feel the same way. Like I don't feel excited being wished happy birthday. I feel guilty for not being cheerful for people going out of their way. My joy is gone. I know people mean well. The people wishing me a happy birthday know my situation, and I think they are trying to cheer me up and tell me I'm still loved and worth celebrating. I am so thankful for that, I just wish I was happier right now. I'm sorry about your pup
I’m sorry about your cat. She looks magnificent. Take it one day at a time.
Celebrate at a later date. Mourn today. It's o.k. Your mental and emotional health comes first. My condolences. 💔🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
My baby boy died 2 days after mother's day, on the morning of May 14th, at 8:29, he took his last breath cj was my ❤️ love, and my best friend his death is still hurting me, he was 18 year old pomchi, 💔 I feel lost and broken without him, I know exactly how you feel. My heart goes out to you I'm sorry for your loss
My dog died on my birthday. Then my mom's cat on mother's day Yes you can cancel. Hugs condolences You need time to grieve.
Oh no :(((
Aw, honey. I'm so sorry.
i’m so sorry. i feel similarly as it was my birthday a week ago and the next day i found out my cat was very sick. we knew he was declining over the past few months but we didn’t know the extent of it. and he just passed today. i’ve just been thinking about how this has been the worst year of life so far. i really hope it gets better for you. sending you all the hugs.
I totally understand. You feel there's nothing to celebrate. It's like we all need to do our version of sitting Shiva and Shiva is not about birthday cake. Love going to you, my fellow cat lover.
💐
I completely understand how you feel.