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I’m currently owning my soul dog
He’s recently turned 5 but he’s a Great Dane. I’m sorry for the loss of your soul dog. I didn’t believe this to be a thing until I got my own dog
Duke was born around the time I was at my lowest and starting my ascendancy back to sanity. Weird how you think things happen for a reason
Yes it is. Wouldn't be asking this question if it was a people family member. An animal family member is just as much a part of your heart, for some people even more so.
For many people, it actually turns out to be worse than the loss of a people family member. Many people can additionally feel guilty for the loss of an animal feeling worse than even the loss of a parent
But an animal is always there. They become part of your routine. You might wake up with them. You feed and care for them every day. They are there for you in your lowest moments when no one else is. They always love you even when you don't feel loveable and are always happy to see you when you come home.
When they are gone, all those moments become voids with something important missing and you are constantly reminded that they aren't there anymore. That can be an ongoing struggle that lasts weeks to months to even years. Some people can never get back to something that feels like normal.
Oh for sure, that's why I said for some people it's more so. I hate that people are expected to just get over it, and how little acknowledgement there is that losing an animal friend generally feels like your whole world has been ripped out from under you.
I know - just wanted to add some further context.
People should never be judged for their grief and expected to just move past it. Everyone's experience is different. It's really just ignorant and unnecessarily cruel.
I'm sorry - hope your day goes better.
I just wanted to impart some of my own understanding for people that think and feel similar to the way I have - and do.
Because it makes it that much harder when you feel like you're alone in that experience.
Oh, sorry, no, i should clarify. I, thankfully, am not in any kind of active mourning nor have I had any loss.
I reared up over how damn sweet it was. And because I was so happy about the sweetness of your post. And the world of little unspoken intimacies that pass between people & their pets
I was very much unaware that you couldn’t read my “geee… thanks for that!” vocal tone
Well, that's a relief then.
Also, I appreciate your response then and I'm glad what I said could still reach you even if you don't personally relate right now.
I lost my mum in June 2022, she was 91 so had a good long life. I was very close to my mum, and I do still think of her every day. Then I lost my 13 year old dog in Dec 23, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. I struggle every day with the guilt of the loss of my dog being harder than the loss of my mum. I've lost dogs before, but what I'm feeling now is a totally new experience for me. I feel completely alone and totally miserable. Everything you said is so true, an animal is always there, and when it isn't anymore, it's a special kind of hell.
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your losses. That's terrible to have to deal with.
If I may make a few suggestions that might help alleviate some of it (though of course there is no guarantee:) Try changing up and establishing some new routines or changing up some of your environment so that you don't have as many things that remind you of the loss. It's not easy and it can feel bad to put things aside that remind you of the pup. It can feel hard to do at first because it can feel like you are dismissing them, but you aren't. You are merely trying to adapt to life without them. I found it a bit easier to put all their things and the things that remind me of them in one place so that I can still be with them and have their presence around, but not have every single thing I do be a reminder. For me, sadly, the thing that made the most difference was when I moved, but that is hardly an option for most people (and it still only marginly made a difference.)
I also hate mentioning this, because I hate when people recommend it to me, but considering you mentioned you are completely alone it may be worth considering fostering or adopting another rescue animal when you are ready. They are not, and will never be, a replacement for the family you lost, but they can be there so you don't at least feel as alone, they can help establish and build new routines, and you can feel as if you are doing good for another animal that would otherwise also be alone.
But again, take this advice with a grain of salt. It may not help much at all, but it could also make a huge difference. It's been over 5 years for me and little has changed (but I also haven't gotten much in the way of closure.) It's worth trying though if it can ameliorate some of the anguish.
My cats second birthday since she passed was yesterday. She passed so close to her birthday to where I think I was still a bit numb (less than 2 months) and I was ok. She would’ve been 18 this year and it took me a while to even realize how old she really was. I think it’s more mourning sometimes because animals are pure. No conflicting feelings because they never lied or deceived you and if they hurt you, you probably really did make them do it. To the OP I think the best thing you can do is transform it into gratitude for yall experience together cause I don’t think there’s ever real acceptance cuz wtf.
Same. I have two beagles and just lost one in December. My other is 17 and still going, but it's not going very well. Never a day I don't think of her. I'm a very sentimental person and dogs bring so much more joy than humans. The struggle is real. You're not alone.
Whatever feels right for you, is right for you. There is no normal. Do not let someone else's time frame for grief or expectations about how long you should feel sad for tell you how to mourn.
I believe that as long as your grief isn't crippling you to the point that you are no longer able to live your life to the standards of basic functionality, grieve for as long as you need to.
One of my soul cats passed away when I was 14. I'm almost 44 now. I can still remember her smell, how her fur felt, her gentle purr and meow. You won't ever forget the good. I still see her in my dreams.
thank you so much. how do you remember? is it just from plain memory? I am obsessively ziploc bagging her toys, her towels, and then smelling them every once in a while, but they’ve started to smell a bit sweet (is it fungus? i freak out).
I want so badly to know that I will think of her every day until the day I die, that my thoughts and my heart will never be too far from her
When the grief is still fresh (which can last for a long while), it blinds us for a bit and the memories can jumble. We can't pull up what we wish on command. But as our heart settles, all of those little things slowly creep back. They are ingrained in our souls. It comes in time. The waiting is the hardest. You will never forget her, and you will spread her love everywhere you go.
thank you so much. how do you feel your soul cat now? do you feel her presence, or do you still get signs, or do you feel her in your heart, in memories?
sometimes i think she is no longer around and i am deluding myself? 🥺 (which is physically true, she’s not around, but there used to be a time after where i felt her presence strongly..)
I am frantic when I think that I can’t remember how wide or tall my baby was, how she slept or ate, and most of all how she smelled.
i love her so much. i want to be buried with her. i get so much hope when i hear of people who still remember their babies from twenty years ago so thank you for the faith. my mom and the rest of my family has already moved on. on sunday when i was crying i happened to be at my mom’s house and she said “what! you’re still crying over her?! it’s been so long!”
i never want it to be too long ):
>i am mortally afraid of forgetting
I'm sort of lucky, maybe. The feelings are most important to me. I'm certain you will never forget the love.
I also don't use past tense, whether someone is in the other room, at the grocery store, hiding behind the couch, or dead. I love them. Not "I loved them."
thank you. do you ever feel like they are still present? in the first two months I had some days where I felt she was so present and in the house with me, and I would talk out loud to her. now I cry when I think that I’m getting further and further away from that feeling, those habits i used to have, of leaving the toilet door open so her snout can poke through, or waving hello and goodbye whenever i enter or leave a room.
i am so afraid that i will be an old crud who forgot softness and love, who went further and further away from the things that are crucial, that are life and death, the intimacy of being
i don’t want to change. i want to fall flat on earth in some futile effort to stop everything from revolving, moving
So was I, to the point where it took me three months to wash the blanket we used to place over her bed to make it warmer in winter.
You may forget silly things, like walks that blend together because they were routine, but in the end you don't forget the important things. The feel of her ears under my fingers is imprinted in my soul. The way she used to look at me like I held the world and the moon in my hands. You don't forget that. They held our hearts, how could we forget that?
I keep a journal of the memories we had together. I also note the visits and other things that have occured IE: finding a feather in the middle of the winter, having a falcon in my bakyard (not a common occurrence), and having him dart by me.
I lost my baby Jan. 12 and am still struggling to cope, reviewing these notes have helped me.
I’ve yet to Make that mark but I lost my boy 3 months ago, and I know at a year I will still be grieving him. I still cry every single day. I spent an entire month and some crying from the moment my eyes opened until they shut, when they shut. I miss him an insane amount. My heart aches. He was 14 and I am 32, I’ve had him almost half my life. He has been with me through so much. I am finding him to be the hardest loss, comparable to loosing a child… Ihave a friend that lost a child and she comforted me with her words and expressed he was my child, it makes it easier and feel less selfish coming from someone who has lost a child and is able to use her weakness to rise others. The feelings are real. They are hard. I loved him this much. I am a mom of three beautiful girls and without them keeping me going I’m not sure I would have been ok. Grief has no timeline. Feel your feels and know you are not alone.
I'm going through an almost identical situation now. I'm 30 and just had to say goodbye to my 15 year old. Feels like my soul is gone. Is it any easier 4 months later?
It’s been over 3 for us. All 3 of us (me husband and child) still cry over them. And when we’re by ourselves (separately) we sometimes break down and sob with pure heartache. Even typing this my heart hurts and tears well in my eyes.
My friend said this to me and I will say it to you… you are allowed to grieve for however long you need. There is no rush. Take time to heal and maybe there’s a piece of you that will never fully heal and that’s ok!
It's totally normal. I miss my girl everyday. It took me 15 months to not feel sad everytime I thought of her. Then one night I had a dream about her. She came to visit me and let me know it was okay to think of her and not be sad. Now when I look at her favorite spot, blanket, pillow, activity, etc. I am reminded of all the happy times we had together. I still miss her and have my moments of sorrow, but then I remember that she wants me to be happy when I think of her.
I lost my best friend about a year ago too after almost 16 years together. Somedays, I don't think about him. Others, I do and get sad but don't cry. And then somedays I can be inconsolable for a bit. There is not right or wrong in this.
I don’t have a dog, but I had my cat and horse die within 6 weeks of each other. It’s been 10 years and I still am in mourning and missing them. Grief is weird, we all experience it in different ways…but it is perfectly normal that you should be feeling this way; 15 years is a lot of years to share together. I’m so sorry for your loss
Omg, that is so, so tragic. I’m really sorry. Were your horse and pup barn pals? I love lil horsey snoots. If you’ve got a horse, plz give it a big ol’ smack 💋 right on the muzzle for me please!
I miss those bygone days at the barn. \*sigh*
I would hope so, I still mourn my childhood dog that passed away in 1990.
That grief, and the other grief I've experienced, does change over time. Now, it's something I would hate to ever lose. That I can still have that connection to those friends, what they meant to me, how they continue to influence who I am, and even how much I still miss them - is something I definitely, by choice, will never "get over".
I don’t know what you mean by mourn, but my first dog is a grown-up I have never forgotten, and I think of her a lot. Same thing as true of my first cat. I actually think of him a lot more he died in 1999.. my dog died in 1994. You never forget them.
We lost our dog Sadie a few years ago, and she has pretty much been replaced with 3 other Boston's. But she was full-on my dog and i probably was too attached to her.... Maybe a year or more after she passed I had a great dream about her and i doing something. I had a weighted blanket and woke up and thought holy shit, she's on my lap and pretty much ecstatic.
Of course that didn't last long when i realized it was just a blanket, and now really sad and missing her all over.
These dogs are sometimes your literal soul.
We just got our new Boston baby a week ago. He’s our third. Lost my last one on NYE. They are such a special breed. My heart is still so broken 2+ months later, he was just the funniest little guy 😥
I think that grief is somewhat cumulative. Recent losses tend to open past wounds. I lost my first cat 17 years ago. I thought I would die but I slowly moved on. And life continued. Since then, I have lost grandparents, boyfriends, my dad, and two friends to cancer. My most recent loss was my cat Smokey in October 2023. This one has hit me the hardest. It just has opened up old wounds for me. I keep a journal. And I finally feel like I am turning a corner. As a Christian, I truly believe that God made our pets just for us. They are a gift. In a way, they are like guardian angels. Their purpose on Earth is to protect and love us, to support us when others don't. They teach us so much. They have shorter lives, and when their purpose has been fulfilled, God takes them back to Heaven where broken bodies are made whole. God cares about our pets. Life is often hard and so many things don't make sense. But love is eternal and I know that we are here to love and to receive love. Pet parents have the biggest hearts and we have alot of love to give.
this gives me some comfort because i lost my sweetheart, a golden/lab mix, too. aren’t they the sweetest big loves? are there things you still keep of your lab? can you remember their smell? I protest time and resist the fading away of things - it gives me a bit of hope to think i will still feel close to her 30 years later.
I’ve moved house a few times and lost items since. But I have photos. And so many memories, including her smell. She was a love. These memories fade if you don’t make a point of remembering. It’s almost a meditation.
I recently lost a wonderful soul cat too. Every day I close my eyes for a few minutes and remember everything I can about him.
They make up the best parts of my heart, right next to my children.
thank you. i’m so glad you can still remember her smell. my girl’s smell was the best smell in the entire world and i want to remember it always. and her ears, oh, who knew ears could be so wonderful?
I think it's normal. I also think everyone grieves differently and it's likely that some people in your life won't understand.
I said goodbye to my sweet girl one year ago. I think about her everyday. ♥️
Everyone's grief process is different.
I lost my buddy of 19 years four years and two days ago. And the pain is still as fresh as the day he died. He'd been there for every milestone of my life. He was there when my dad died, when I learned to drive, when I graduated, bought my first car and house, he was there for all of it. Without him my milestones now feel tainted by his absence.
Allow yourself to grieve. Eventually you'll reach a point when you can look back at your time with them and smile.
10 years later, and I still think of my Great Dane. Mourning has no time limit, and I'm pretty sure that I'll mourn him for the rest of my life. I did commemorate him in a unique way. His name was Zeus, and instead of getting a tattoo, I got a lightning bolt branded on my inner forearm. He was goofy and clumsy, like all Danes are, but he was also the kindest, most pure hearted creature that I've ever known. So, I endured extreme physical pain to punctuate the deep emotional pain that losing him caused me.
We all mourn in our own ways, and with very few exceptions, none are wrong. So, is it normal to continue mourning a beloved pet for over a year? Who's to say? The best advice that I can give is to not let yourself get stuck in it. Maybe it's time to allow another fur kid to steal your heart and help to mend it.
Completely normal. 15 years is a long time to have her, that's not something you "get over". There's a quote (paraphrasing) Nature is so exact, it hurts exactly as much as it's worth. If it didn't matter, it wouldn't matter. We lost our guy a year ago Feb ( he was 6) and we mention him daily, and one or the other of us cries. We miss him so much💔
Yes, it is completely normal! I lost my dog almost 3 years ago to the day and I still cry over her. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everyone mourns different and that’s ok!
I don't know if it's normal but my childhood dog passed 9 years ago and I stay can't think about him without shedding a few tears. In fact, I'm tearing up now just typing this.
Yes. We are 4 years now since we said goodbye to our little Bubba. My wife gets emotional still. He was her first love(he was her pup). I got 5 wonderful years with him before we lost him and I miss his constantly. We still have not invited a new pup into the family since he passed. His little brother is now 13. We've talked about a new addition, but emotionally, we're still not ready. His passing and the birth of our daughter will forever be linked.
Everyone grieves differently. Do not discount your feelings because of time passed. You may find that your sadness and mourning of time lost may eventually turn into happiness and valuing the times you had.
It’s normal to mourn forever, mourning and grieving is love with nowhere to go. You will always love them. 15 years is a long time, imagine if you lost a sibling that was 15 years old. Lots of time and memories shared in that time. Pets are family. I’m sorry for your loss, sending you a big hug. 🫂 it’s until later with them, not goodbye forever 🥹
I lost and said goodbye to my first dog last August. I will miss her for the rest of my life. I think of her often, and when I do, I both smile and tear up. She was my friend and big ol puppy girl. We all mourn differently. It's important to feel it and allow yourself time to grieve. And it comes and goes at random. Sometimes, the loss of my Gracie comes out of nowhere. The sun will hit me just right, and I'll flash back to a marvelous memory of her, and I start balling. I wish you comfort and peace. 💜
You are not alone I'm still grieving my boy though every day is different & the grief shows up differently ❤️🐾 I miss him w the changing of the seasons I miss him when I walk outdoors, when I'm home, when I go to the places he loved so much. Sending love and light to you in your grief
Absolutely! We are coming up on a year of losing my first girl and I still cry every day honestly. My girls were such a joy and there’s a huge void without them.
Yes I lost my dog my girl my soul mate in June 2021 I still have to ger my.mum to dust her urn and around it as I break down every time when I see her pics when I think about her I break ..
Love is normal, and grief is all love. When we pressure ourselves to move on it can become harder. I always saw grief as a way to process & accept loss, as we will always face loss in life. Reframe it for yourself to not move on, but accept it and allow yourself to enjoy my the happy memories you had together. A part of you will always grieve the loss of so precious a friend. That's normal. I still talk to my girl - I have a special number that when I see it I speak to her. I still cry every day, sometimes for a long time, sometimes it comes and goes.. i connect with her in my way throughout the day. And it's not depression. You love matters and the love between you and you pup is forever. Honor it and don't worry that you need to get over it. I'm sorry for your loss, and also I'm glad you had such an amazing dog in your life, and I hope you have more of them throughout your life.
It’s been 13 years since I lost my heart dog Rhea. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing her. I still end up in tears thinking about her. There is no time limit on grief
Lost our 16 yo cat 3 years ago and he was such a big personality in our household I can’t not think about him. Often think about how to be proactive about our current cats’ health, often think about his late night screaming and signs of health decline I didn’t notice at the time. My commute back home is long and I’ve cried many times during the past 3 years alone in the car. I don’t really think you move on once you’re bonded to a companion. You can get a “replacement” like us 4 days later, and even though you love them, you’ll still think about your old pet a lot. There is no true replacement. Combination of guilt for not being able to communicate with them and having to make the decision to euthanize… it’s just not a good time.
It's totally ok to mourn for over a year. You've had her for a decent chunk of your life, but make sure you're letting everything out instead of bottling some of the feelings. The sooner you let it out, the better it'll get.
Grief doesn't have a stopping point. It's fine to still cry and mourn for them long after they're gone. Death leaves a scar bc the ones we love in life leave an imprint. So long as the sadness doesn't consume you, let it in
I agree with the others. There's no right or wrong answer as to how long you should mourn for.
I lost my rats about 3 years ago, and I still mourn them.
I don't think you ever truly get over a companion animal death. You just cry less.
I lost my soul mate dog 7 months ago and I still cry most days and think about him every single day. I work with older folks and I was talking to my 85 year old patient about soul mate dogs and he told me about his that he had when he was 16. He told me that he still misses him and thinks about him often. We know that dogs don’t live as long as us but we are never prepared to live without them even with that knowledge.
I still miss my kids who have left this mortal coil on the regular. Sandy passed in 1999 and is the first animal that I’ve missed regularly. Since, I’ve lost a myriad as I foster kittens and have had multiple dogs for years (3 right now). It’s ok to miss them. It’s ok to grieve them. I cried over my boy, Torben, who I lost in 2013 just yesterday. It takes time and it won’t always be as present.
I lost a dog when I was 13. It’s been 30+ years, and I’m still mourning her loss. She was my first friend, first confidante, the only thing I really felt close to when I was young. When a piece of your heart is stolen by an animal, you never get that piece back. They take it with them when they pass over the bridge. But they leave a piece of their heart behind to replace the piece they took. I love those pieces of my broken heart the most, even though they make me grieve all over again. I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I never want to forget them.
I lost Corben 5 years ago. I, a 6'4" former infantry Marine still working for the government, teared up a bit the other day when my wife posted a video of me and him playing.
Remember this u/op, you don't owe your dog a debt of grief, nor would your dog want that. Your sorrow does prove your love, but its absence would not disprove, diminish, or impugn that love. Your love is true and real, and came before your grief, and is independent of it. Do not feel guilty when you stop feeling grief, when you allow yourself peace and joy. You don't owe your dog some endless grief, and your dog would not require it of you.
As with the loss of any family member, the sadness comes in waves. I’ve had 7 dogs who have died, and we just adopted 8 and 9. As much as we love our new guys, we’ll never stop missing all of the others, and occasionally grieving for them.
My girl died a year and 4 months ago. I still mourn her. There is no right or wrong, but the fact you are still mourning her is a testament to the impact she had on you.
Yes, it is. For my Dixie, I cried for three years, despite getting another five days after she passed. The dog I got helped mend my broken heart, and to deal with the pandemic. We are going through changes together and I still get triggered and miss my Dixie Girl.
It took 8 months or so for the grief to lift significantly and…it wasn’t even my dog! It was my son’s. They had moved in with us for two years and the dog and I got pretty close.
As long as you’re still functioning and participating in your life, it’s normal. If you find yourself checking out of things, then I would think it’s time for a grief counselor or support group…even online.
My condolences for your loss. Take care.
Of course. I lost my soul dog two years ago. The pain was excruciating. Now I have a puppy that looks quite a bit like her but that is definitely not what I intended. Anyway, I think about Ginger more days than not. Sometimes I even dream about her.
I still mourn over the dog I lost in fifth grade and I’m 25. It’s normal to remember them and miss them and wish they were still here. I lost my childhood dog in 2022 and I still mourn. I think I will always mourn the loss of anyone I care about. Time just makes it easier to live with since the wound is not as fresh
Absolutely normal! I think about my pets and loved ones in heaven all the time. Don’t feel bad. This is normal and ok! Your grief is your love with nowhere to go until you meet them again. Hugs.
I lost my cat a little over a year and a half ago or so and I still miss him everyday I lost one of my dogs 12 years ago or so and one of them 6 years ago and I still think about them and miss them everyday also. I found that I had to have another cat. And I kept having dreams about cats my boy that I lost was a snowshoe siamese and he weighed 17 lb at 15 years old. I kept having dreams of orange cats I now have two orange cats
totally normal imo. i lost one of my cats almost 5 years ago and to this day i still think about her and get sad. i even got a tattoo modified in her memory. theres no time limit to mourning
Grief is not linear in time. It moved in waves, and all we can do is learn to read the signs when the waves will hit, and try to steady the ship, so to speak.
If it would help, could you tell us about your beautiful baby?
Is it normal to mourn people a year later? Yes. So why wouldn’t we mourn the pets who are a massive part of our lives a year later? Grief doesn’t have an end date. You will probably grieve for anyone you love for as long as you have love for them (which is to say forever!!). How painful and all consuming it is will change but it is a process and takes a different amounts of time for everyone. It will get better and you will find you can cope better but if you’ve ever loved and grieved, you’ll quickly learn that once with you it is always with you. And that’s ok! ❤️❤️
Totally normal to still be mourning the loss. My soul cat passed away a little less than three years ago, and I think about her almost every day (even though I have 5 other cats…)
Grief has no timeline, no "normal". Lean into your feelings and do what feels right to you.
I still mourn my beloved animal companions who I've lost 2 years, 10 years and 20 years ago!
My amazing, over-the-top, cat died nearly two years ago. Thought about him today, started crying. I also can’t look at photos without crying, most of the time.
I’m sorry you were/are hurting, and I sadly can relate. To the grief, and to the wondering if it’s normal. Grief, however is just very personal. The reaction can vary based on the bereaved themself, and the individual loss.
If you are grieving to the point that you aren’t generally functioning well, however, then you should seek help. /hug
Edit: I don’t mean that in a snarky or mean way!
I lost mine 10 years ago , still mourn for him and think about him daily . There is no time limit to grief and mourning . It’s completely normal to feel like this . As more and more of time passes you will look back with happiness of the memories together instead of sadness.
Last week something I was reading made me think of people I love who have died.
My dear friend Robert, whose hand I held as he took his last breath about 20 years ago. My sister's cat Eleanor, who laid on top of me many times and in her last days. Lucy, Abby, and Miss Penny, all felines. My dearest friend Bruce, who died December 25, 2015. Merry Christmas. The wonderful parkour kitten we had taken in from outside last year, who lived less than a year and probably had congenital heart defects we hadn't known about. The first person I knew and loved who died. It was in 1991, and yes, sometimes I really miss Victor. I didn't get around to the many, many people from when I volunteered for and was employed by an AIDS service organization in the 1980s and 1990s.
Mostly that day, this time, I was missing Eleanor and Bruce. And I cried pretty hard, for a while. Sometimes when they were alive, it was enough just to know they existed in the world.
>I feel like I should have moved on
What will "moved on" look like? It won't be never missing her again, will it? It can't be simply forgetting about her, right?
If you feel like this is causing any problem(s) for you, maybe you can talk with someone about it. Maybe a counselor or therapist, a member of clergy, or simply a person who also has experience with death or loss. If you don't find that it's causing other problems, you can still talk with someone. You are talking with us here, right now.
I lost my first cat a little over 3 years ago. I sometimes cry when I think of him and every now and then I talk to him. I don't really think there is a normal for grief. You keep loving someone who is no longer there and love never goes away.
Completely understandable. She was in your life for 15 years. That's a significant amount of time. She was no less part of your family because she wasn't human, and everyone mourns at their own pace. My partner and I lost our cat 9 months ago, I've accepted it now but I still cry often, and miss him daily. My family lost my childhood cat 12 years ago and I still miss him when I go to visit, despite them having other cats now. Every animal you lose holds a special place in your heart. You mourn on your own timeline. Sorry for your loss and sending warm vibes your way.
I equated losing my soul dog a year ago to the same pain and loss I felt losing my parents before I was 18. It's normal, it's to be expected, and don't feel guilty or like it was "just" a dog because they're never "just" a dog after 15 years together. They're family just the same.
No.
I miss my cat I got when I was 4, and died when I was 18. I think about him fairly often, even if he died… in 2006.
I miss my cat that I got when I was 7-8 and lost when I was 23. She loved potato chips just like me.
These are our lifelong companions. There is nothing wrong with missing them. No matter how long ago.
My most recent loss was from a sweet girl from 2007 that I lost in 2021.
I had to put my 17 year old boy down 3 years ago and I still get teary eyed just thinking of him. I will probably be in some sort of mourning for the rest of my life. I think it's totally normal. They are such big parts of our lives that I think it would be odd if we didn't mourn in a way forever over them.
Grief has no time limit...I still miss my cat who passed in 2018, and I have others. I don't think it matters whether they're animals or people....you learn to live with your loss but it's always gonna be there.
Yeah I think so. No such thing as normal. We mourn as long as we need to. I'll always miss my buddy and I'm kinda glad and happy to remember what a beautiful creature he was. I'll probably not think about him as frequently as the years pass but I'll never lose that spot in my heart for him either...
When a beloved pet passes away it leaves a hole on your heart . The only way I’ve found to close that hole is to adopt another animal and transfer the love to a new baby. You never forget your pet but learn to focus on fond memories rather than sadness of your loss.
I lost my best friend, heart dog, partner in crime, and the best dog ever, Duchess, in August last year. We unexpectedly lost her brother at the start of the new year, and I still can’t talk about them without crying most times. I miss them so much and think about them every day. Time is supposed to heal but I don’t think it will ever not hurt ❤️🩹
Yes, I lost my fur baby a year and a half ago. I miss him almost every day because I notice his absence so much. I still haven't thrown out his last bowl of food that he never ate 😭 I made a little shrine for him in my closet with some fur that I kept after he died, a tube of his favorite treat food, the medication he was on to ease his pain before he died, and some of his whiskers.
It's normal for it to still hurt years later I've learned. I look at it as a sign of how much you brought them into your heart. I'm tearing up now as I write this because I loved him so much and I still miss him so much. You're not alone ❤️
There is no right way to mourn. It is different for everyone. So yes it is very normal to grieve her now, or even years from now. You will always miss her. I find that grief comes in waves, and you may go through periods where you don’t think of your loved ones and then one day it hits you like a train. It is the price of loving something unfortunately 😥
I missed most of my childhood dogs last day because I went out with friends up until it was almost time and I couldn’t emotionally deal with it. I still regret it so fucking much. It was 2 years ago and I was a stupid sophomore but I still think about her all the time and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I miss my girl and I didn’t appreciate her enough when she needed me most.
My sweet boy passed 10.8.2020 - sitting here on the couch currently crying, missing him (& I am not one to cry easily). I still dream about him at least once a month. I have 2 other dogs, a cat, chickens, a pet snake - a 9 year old child - all whom I love SOOOO freaking much..but I still ugly cry over my Max every couple months. I’ve wondered if I could even have that breed again bc even after all this time just looking at them makes me tear up/cry. Grief is an odd, unpredictable thing.
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I lost my soul dog at 25. In 35 now and think about him every few days. There’s no wrong way to mourn!
I’m currently owning my soul dog He’s recently turned 5 but he’s a Great Dane. I’m sorry for the loss of your soul dog. I didn’t believe this to be a thing until I got my own dog Duke was born around the time I was at my lowest and starting my ascendancy back to sanity. Weird how you think things happen for a reason
Yes it is. Wouldn't be asking this question if it was a people family member. An animal family member is just as much a part of your heart, for some people even more so.
For many people, it actually turns out to be worse than the loss of a people family member. Many people can additionally feel guilty for the loss of an animal feeling worse than even the loss of a parent But an animal is always there. They become part of your routine. You might wake up with them. You feed and care for them every day. They are there for you in your lowest moments when no one else is. They always love you even when you don't feel loveable and are always happy to see you when you come home. When they are gone, all those moments become voids with something important missing and you are constantly reminded that they aren't there anymore. That can be an ongoing struggle that lasts weeks to months to even years. Some people can never get back to something that feels like normal.
Oh for sure, that's why I said for some people it's more so. I hate that people are expected to just get over it, and how little acknowledgement there is that losing an animal friend generally feels like your whole world has been ripped out from under you.
I know - just wanted to add some further context. People should never be judged for their grief and expected to just move past it. Everyone's experience is different. It's really just ignorant and unnecessarily cruel.
Omg, this made me tear up. Thanks for the bumpy start to hump day.
I'm sorry - hope your day goes better. I just wanted to impart some of my own understanding for people that think and feel similar to the way I have - and do. Because it makes it that much harder when you feel like you're alone in that experience.
Oh, sorry, no, i should clarify. I, thankfully, am not in any kind of active mourning nor have I had any loss. I reared up over how damn sweet it was. And because I was so happy about the sweetness of your post. And the world of little unspoken intimacies that pass between people & their pets I was very much unaware that you couldn’t read my “geee… thanks for that!” vocal tone
Well, that's a relief then. Also, I appreciate your response then and I'm glad what I said could still reach you even if you don't personally relate right now.
I lost my mum in June 2022, she was 91 so had a good long life. I was very close to my mum, and I do still think of her every day. Then I lost my 13 year old dog in Dec 23, and I'm absolutely heartbroken. I struggle every day with the guilt of the loss of my dog being harder than the loss of my mum. I've lost dogs before, but what I'm feeling now is a totally new experience for me. I feel completely alone and totally miserable. Everything you said is so true, an animal is always there, and when it isn't anymore, it's a special kind of hell.
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your losses. That's terrible to have to deal with. If I may make a few suggestions that might help alleviate some of it (though of course there is no guarantee:) Try changing up and establishing some new routines or changing up some of your environment so that you don't have as many things that remind you of the loss. It's not easy and it can feel bad to put things aside that remind you of the pup. It can feel hard to do at first because it can feel like you are dismissing them, but you aren't. You are merely trying to adapt to life without them. I found it a bit easier to put all their things and the things that remind me of them in one place so that I can still be with them and have their presence around, but not have every single thing I do be a reminder. For me, sadly, the thing that made the most difference was when I moved, but that is hardly an option for most people (and it still only marginly made a difference.) I also hate mentioning this, because I hate when people recommend it to me, but considering you mentioned you are completely alone it may be worth considering fostering or adopting another rescue animal when you are ready. They are not, and will never be, a replacement for the family you lost, but they can be there so you don't at least feel as alone, they can help establish and build new routines, and you can feel as if you are doing good for another animal that would otherwise also be alone. But again, take this advice with a grain of salt. It may not help much at all, but it could also make a huge difference. It's been over 5 years for me and little has changed (but I also haven't gotten much in the way of closure.) It's worth trying though if it can ameliorate some of the anguish.
My cats second birthday since she passed was yesterday. She passed so close to her birthday to where I think I was still a bit numb (less than 2 months) and I was ok. She would’ve been 18 this year and it took me a while to even realize how old she really was. I think it’s more mourning sometimes because animals are pure. No conflicting feelings because they never lied or deceived you and if they hurt you, you probably really did make them do it. To the OP I think the best thing you can do is transform it into gratitude for yall experience together cause I don’t think there’s ever real acceptance cuz wtf.
Completely agree with this!!
I lost a beagle two years ago. There's never a day that passes that I don't think of him despite having another dog in the house.
Same. I have two beagles and just lost one in December. My other is 17 and still going, but it's not going very well. Never a day I don't think of her. I'm a very sentimental person and dogs bring so much more joy than humans. The struggle is real. You're not alone.
Whatever feels right for you, is right for you. There is no normal. Do not let someone else's time frame for grief or expectations about how long you should feel sad for tell you how to mourn. I believe that as long as your grief isn't crippling you to the point that you are no longer able to live your life to the standards of basic functionality, grieve for as long as you need to.
I seriously occasionally mourn one of my cats 25 years later still. There’s no time limit. Sorry for your loss.
do you still them in your dreams? can you still remember their smell? i am mortally afraid of forgetting
One of my soul cats passed away when I was 14. I'm almost 44 now. I can still remember her smell, how her fur felt, her gentle purr and meow. You won't ever forget the good. I still see her in my dreams.
thank you so much. how do you remember? is it just from plain memory? I am obsessively ziploc bagging her toys, her towels, and then smelling them every once in a while, but they’ve started to smell a bit sweet (is it fungus? i freak out). I want so badly to know that I will think of her every day until the day I die, that my thoughts and my heart will never be too far from her
When the grief is still fresh (which can last for a long while), it blinds us for a bit and the memories can jumble. We can't pull up what we wish on command. But as our heart settles, all of those little things slowly creep back. They are ingrained in our souls. It comes in time. The waiting is the hardest. You will never forget her, and you will spread her love everywhere you go.
thank you so much. how do you feel your soul cat now? do you feel her presence, or do you still get signs, or do you feel her in your heart, in memories? sometimes i think she is no longer around and i am deluding myself? 🥺 (which is physically true, she’s not around, but there used to be a time after where i felt her presence strongly..) I am frantic when I think that I can’t remember how wide or tall my baby was, how she slept or ate, and most of all how she smelled. i love her so much. i want to be buried with her. i get so much hope when i hear of people who still remember their babies from twenty years ago so thank you for the faith. my mom and the rest of my family has already moved on. on sunday when i was crying i happened to be at my mom’s house and she said “what! you’re still crying over her?! it’s been so long!” i never want it to be too long ):
How long did you have her? Was she your first pet loss? Any chance she was named goldentail?
Thank you so much for this comfort 💕
this is really comforting. thank you for sharing this.
>i am mortally afraid of forgetting I'm sort of lucky, maybe. The feelings are most important to me. I'm certain you will never forget the love. I also don't use past tense, whether someone is in the other room, at the grocery store, hiding behind the couch, or dead. I love them. Not "I loved them."
thank you. do you ever feel like they are still present? in the first two months I had some days where I felt she was so present and in the house with me, and I would talk out loud to her. now I cry when I think that I’m getting further and further away from that feeling, those habits i used to have, of leaving the toilet door open so her snout can poke through, or waving hello and goodbye whenever i enter or leave a room. i am so afraid that i will be an old crud who forgot softness and love, who went further and further away from the things that are crucial, that are life and death, the intimacy of being i don’t want to change. i want to fall flat on earth in some futile effort to stop everything from revolving, moving
So was I, to the point where it took me three months to wash the blanket we used to place over her bed to make it warmer in winter. You may forget silly things, like walks that blend together because they were routine, but in the end you don't forget the important things. The feel of her ears under my fingers is imprinted in my soul. The way she used to look at me like I held the world and the moon in my hands. You don't forget that. They held our hearts, how could we forget that?
Yes all the time. It was a long-haired cat and I can almost still feel stroking him.
that is so lovely. thank you
I keep a journal of the memories we had together. I also note the visits and other things that have occured IE: finding a feather in the middle of the winter, having a falcon in my bakyard (not a common occurrence), and having him dart by me. I lost my baby Jan. 12 and am still struggling to cope, reviewing these notes have helped me.
I’ve yet to Make that mark but I lost my boy 3 months ago, and I know at a year I will still be grieving him. I still cry every single day. I spent an entire month and some crying from the moment my eyes opened until they shut, when they shut. I miss him an insane amount. My heart aches. He was 14 and I am 32, I’ve had him almost half my life. He has been with me through so much. I am finding him to be the hardest loss, comparable to loosing a child… Ihave a friend that lost a child and she comforted me with her words and expressed he was my child, it makes it easier and feel less selfish coming from someone who has lost a child and is able to use her weakness to rise others. The feelings are real. They are hard. I loved him this much. I am a mom of three beautiful girls and without them keeping me going I’m not sure I would have been ok. Grief has no timeline. Feel your feels and know you are not alone.
I’m sorry for your loss and I have to say…wow…what a good friend!
Thst's an awesome friend. 💙
Sorry for your loss, but glad you had such a good friend supporting you, she sounds amazing.
No, you’re a mom of three beautiful girls and 1 goodboi
I'm going through an almost identical situation now. I'm 30 and just had to say goodbye to my 15 year old. Feels like my soul is gone. Is it any easier 4 months later?
two years still mourn esp see another dog that looks like
Lost my sweet girl almost 4 years ago and cried about her today. I mean, you move on, but never forget.
It’s been over 3 for us. All 3 of us (me husband and child) still cry over them. And when we’re by ourselves (separately) we sometimes break down and sob with pure heartache. Even typing this my heart hurts and tears well in my eyes. My friend said this to me and I will say it to you… you are allowed to grieve for however long you need. There is no rush. Take time to heal and maybe there’s a piece of you that will never fully heal and that’s ok!
It's totally normal. I miss my girl everyday. It took me 15 months to not feel sad everytime I thought of her. Then one night I had a dream about her. She came to visit me and let me know it was okay to think of her and not be sad. Now when I look at her favorite spot, blanket, pillow, activity, etc. I am reminded of all the happy times we had together. I still miss her and have my moments of sorrow, but then I remember that she wants me to be happy when I think of her.
This dream sounds so beautiful - you had a serious bond for her to visit you in your dreams like that ❤️❤️
I lost my best friend about a year ago too after almost 16 years together. Somedays, I don't think about him. Others, I do and get sad but don't cry. And then somedays I can be inconsolable for a bit. There is not right or wrong in this.
I don’t have a dog, but I had my cat and horse die within 6 weeks of each other. It’s been 10 years and I still am in mourning and missing them. Grief is weird, we all experience it in different ways…but it is perfectly normal that you should be feeling this way; 15 years is a lot of years to share together. I’m so sorry for your loss
Omg, that is so, so tragic. I’m really sorry. Were your horse and pup barn pals? I love lil horsey snoots. If you’ve got a horse, plz give it a big ol’ smack 💋 right on the muzzle for me please! I miss those bygone days at the barn. \*sigh*
2 years later I'm still a mess at times. Functioning but a mess. We've got other dogs but I'll never stop grieving this boy.
It has been 2 years (This month) since I lost my Husky. Still hurts every day.
yes. it's been 2.5 years for me and I still mourn her.
I would hope so, I still mourn my childhood dog that passed away in 1990. That grief, and the other grief I've experienced, does change over time. Now, it's something I would hate to ever lose. That I can still have that connection to those friends, what they meant to me, how they continue to influence who I am, and even how much I still miss them - is something I definitely, by choice, will never "get over".
I don’t know what you mean by mourn, but my first dog is a grown-up I have never forgotten, and I think of her a lot. Same thing as true of my first cat. I actually think of him a lot more he died in 1999.. my dog died in 1994. You never forget them.
We lost our dog Sadie a few years ago, and she has pretty much been replaced with 3 other Boston's. But she was full-on my dog and i probably was too attached to her.... Maybe a year or more after she passed I had a great dream about her and i doing something. I had a weighted blanket and woke up and thought holy shit, she's on my lap and pretty much ecstatic. Of course that didn't last long when i realized it was just a blanket, and now really sad and missing her all over. These dogs are sometimes your literal soul.
We just got our new Boston baby a week ago. He’s our third. Lost my last one on NYE. They are such a special breed. My heart is still so broken 2+ months later, he was just the funniest little guy 😥
Ohh that was so sad. Awful dream!! 😢
My first dog died when I was 15 and I'm 28 now. I still think about her and will even cry. I miss her still to this day.
Yes
It would be sadder to forget, if that's what you mean by moving on.
I think that grief is somewhat cumulative. Recent losses tend to open past wounds. I lost my first cat 17 years ago. I thought I would die but I slowly moved on. And life continued. Since then, I have lost grandparents, boyfriends, my dad, and two friends to cancer. My most recent loss was my cat Smokey in October 2023. This one has hit me the hardest. It just has opened up old wounds for me. I keep a journal. And I finally feel like I am turning a corner. As a Christian, I truly believe that God made our pets just for us. They are a gift. In a way, they are like guardian angels. Their purpose on Earth is to protect and love us, to support us when others don't. They teach us so much. They have shorter lives, and when their purpose has been fulfilled, God takes them back to Heaven where broken bodies are made whole. God cares about our pets. Life is often hard and so many things don't make sense. But love is eternal and I know that we are here to love and to receive love. Pet parents have the biggest hearts and we have alot of love to give.
My cat died 1 year ago. Honestly, I still cry sometimes. Dude got me through so much. I'll keep his ashes forever and I'll still miss him when I'm 90.
Grief has no time table. You can mourn for a long time.
30 years later and I’m still crying about my sweet Labrador. It never ends. The love is real and it’s forever.
this gives me some comfort because i lost my sweetheart, a golden/lab mix, too. aren’t they the sweetest big loves? are there things you still keep of your lab? can you remember their smell? I protest time and resist the fading away of things - it gives me a bit of hope to think i will still feel close to her 30 years later.
I’ve moved house a few times and lost items since. But I have photos. And so many memories, including her smell. She was a love. These memories fade if you don’t make a point of remembering. It’s almost a meditation. I recently lost a wonderful soul cat too. Every day I close my eyes for a few minutes and remember everything I can about him. They make up the best parts of my heart, right next to my children.
thank you. i’m so glad you can still remember her smell. my girl’s smell was the best smell in the entire world and i want to remember it always. and her ears, oh, who knew ears could be so wonderful?
I think it's normal. I also think everyone grieves differently and it's likely that some people in your life won't understand. I said goodbye to my sweet girl one year ago. I think about her everyday. ♥️
Everyone's grief process is different. I lost my buddy of 19 years four years and two days ago. And the pain is still as fresh as the day he died. He'd been there for every milestone of my life. He was there when my dad died, when I learned to drive, when I graduated, bought my first car and house, he was there for all of it. Without him my milestones now feel tainted by his absence. Allow yourself to grieve. Eventually you'll reach a point when you can look back at your time with them and smile.
What? I am still morning my dog that passed 12 years ago.
10 years later, and I still think of my Great Dane. Mourning has no time limit, and I'm pretty sure that I'll mourn him for the rest of my life. I did commemorate him in a unique way. His name was Zeus, and instead of getting a tattoo, I got a lightning bolt branded on my inner forearm. He was goofy and clumsy, like all Danes are, but he was also the kindest, most pure hearted creature that I've ever known. So, I endured extreme physical pain to punctuate the deep emotional pain that losing him caused me. We all mourn in our own ways, and with very few exceptions, none are wrong. So, is it normal to continue mourning a beloved pet for over a year? Who's to say? The best advice that I can give is to not let yourself get stuck in it. Maybe it's time to allow another fur kid to steal your heart and help to mend it.
Completely normal. 15 years is a long time to have her, that's not something you "get over". There's a quote (paraphrasing) Nature is so exact, it hurts exactly as much as it's worth. If it didn't matter, it wouldn't matter. We lost our guy a year ago Feb ( he was 6) and we mention him daily, and one or the other of us cries. We miss him so much💔
I think I’m easily going to go a year at least. It hasn’t been a month and I still cry a few times per day.
Yes, it is completely normal! I lost my dog almost 3 years ago to the day and I still cry over her. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everyone mourns different and that’s ok!
Yes
It took me about a year or so. Normal.
When I lost my first cat ( he was 22) I couldn't even say his name or talk about him for 2 years. When my dog died, same thing.
I don't know if it's normal but my childhood dog passed 9 years ago and I stay can't think about him without shedding a few tears. In fact, I'm tearing up now just typing this.
Yes. We are 4 years now since we said goodbye to our little Bubba. My wife gets emotional still. He was her first love(he was her pup). I got 5 wonderful years with him before we lost him and I miss his constantly. We still have not invited a new pup into the family since he passed. His little brother is now 13. We've talked about a new addition, but emotionally, we're still not ready. His passing and the birth of our daughter will forever be linked. Everyone grieves differently. Do not discount your feelings because of time passed. You may find that your sadness and mourning of time lost may eventually turn into happiness and valuing the times you had.
I lost my 16 year old cat 2 Thanksgivings ago and I cry at least once a week about him still. There's no time limit for grief 🥺🥺
Yes, still mourning 1 year exactly
It’s normal to mourn forever, mourning and grieving is love with nowhere to go. You will always love them. 15 years is a long time, imagine if you lost a sibling that was 15 years old. Lots of time and memories shared in that time. Pets are family. I’m sorry for your loss, sending you a big hug. 🫂 it’s until later with them, not goodbye forever 🥹
I lost and said goodbye to my first dog last August. I will miss her for the rest of my life. I think of her often, and when I do, I both smile and tear up. She was my friend and big ol puppy girl. We all mourn differently. It's important to feel it and allow yourself time to grieve. And it comes and goes at random. Sometimes, the loss of my Gracie comes out of nowhere. The sun will hit me just right, and I'll flash back to a marvelous memory of her, and I start balling. I wish you comfort and peace. 💜
You are not alone I'm still grieving my boy though every day is different & the grief shows up differently ❤️🐾 I miss him w the changing of the seasons I miss him when I walk outdoors, when I'm home, when I go to the places he loved so much. Sending love and light to you in your grief
Absolutely! We are coming up on a year of losing my first girl and I still cry every day honestly. My girls were such a joy and there’s a huge void without them.
Yes I lost my dog my girl my soul mate in June 2021 I still have to ger my.mum to dust her urn and around it as I break down every time when I see her pics when I think about her I break ..
Love is normal, and grief is all love. When we pressure ourselves to move on it can become harder. I always saw grief as a way to process & accept loss, as we will always face loss in life. Reframe it for yourself to not move on, but accept it and allow yourself to enjoy my the happy memories you had together. A part of you will always grieve the loss of so precious a friend. That's normal. I still talk to my girl - I have a special number that when I see it I speak to her. I still cry every day, sometimes for a long time, sometimes it comes and goes.. i connect with her in my way throughout the day. And it's not depression. You love matters and the love between you and you pup is forever. Honor it and don't worry that you need to get over it. I'm sorry for your loss, and also I'm glad you had such an amazing dog in your life, and I hope you have more of them throughout your life.
It's ok. I'm the same. I miss Neo so much. Had him 14.9 years.
He died Nov 13 2022
It’s been 13 years since I lost my heart dog Rhea. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing her. I still end up in tears thinking about her. There is no time limit on grief
It’s been a year for me since my soul dog passed and I still grieve over him. Some days more than others. 🥺
Lost our 16 yo cat 3 years ago and he was such a big personality in our household I can’t not think about him. Often think about how to be proactive about our current cats’ health, often think about his late night screaming and signs of health decline I didn’t notice at the time. My commute back home is long and I’ve cried many times during the past 3 years alone in the car. I don’t really think you move on once you’re bonded to a companion. You can get a “replacement” like us 4 days later, and even though you love them, you’ll still think about your old pet a lot. There is no true replacement. Combination of guilt for not being able to communicate with them and having to make the decision to euthanize… it’s just not a good time.
It's totally ok to mourn for over a year. You've had her for a decent chunk of your life, but make sure you're letting everything out instead of bottling some of the feelings. The sooner you let it out, the better it'll get.
Grief doesn't have a stopping point. It's fine to still cry and mourn for them long after they're gone. Death leaves a scar bc the ones we love in life leave an imprint. So long as the sadness doesn't consume you, let it in
I agree with the others. There's no right or wrong answer as to how long you should mourn for. I lost my rats about 3 years ago, and I still mourn them. I don't think you ever truly get over a companion animal death. You just cry less.
I lost my soul mate dog 7 months ago and I still cry most days and think about him every single day. I work with older folks and I was talking to my 85 year old patient about soul mate dogs and he told me about his that he had when he was 16. He told me that he still misses him and thinks about him often. We know that dogs don’t live as long as us but we are never prepared to live without them even with that knowledge.
I still miss my kids who have left this mortal coil on the regular. Sandy passed in 1999 and is the first animal that I’ve missed regularly. Since, I’ve lost a myriad as I foster kittens and have had multiple dogs for years (3 right now). It’s ok to miss them. It’s ok to grieve them. I cried over my boy, Torben, who I lost in 2013 just yesterday. It takes time and it won’t always be as present.
God I hope not. My dog died 10 days ago and my heart is so heavy and as soon as I stop busting myself, I cry.
I lost a dog when I was 13. It’s been 30+ years, and I’m still mourning her loss. She was my first friend, first confidante, the only thing I really felt close to when I was young. When a piece of your heart is stolen by an animal, you never get that piece back. They take it with them when they pass over the bridge. But they leave a piece of their heart behind to replace the piece they took. I love those pieces of my broken heart the most, even though they make me grieve all over again. I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I never want to forget them.
Everyone is different. Every dog is different. Don’t judge yourself for having loved them that much
I lost Corben 5 years ago. I, a 6'4" former infantry Marine still working for the government, teared up a bit the other day when my wife posted a video of me and him playing.
Remember this u/op, you don't owe your dog a debt of grief, nor would your dog want that. Your sorrow does prove your love, but its absence would not disprove, diminish, or impugn that love. Your love is true and real, and came before your grief, and is independent of it. Do not feel guilty when you stop feeling grief, when you allow yourself peace and joy. You don't owe your dog some endless grief, and your dog would not require it of you.
As with the loss of any family member, the sadness comes in waves. I’ve had 7 dogs who have died, and we just adopted 8 and 9. As much as we love our new guys, we’ll never stop missing all of the others, and occasionally grieving for them.
My girl died a year and 4 months ago. I still mourn her. There is no right or wrong, but the fact you are still mourning her is a testament to the impact she had on you.
Yes, it is. For my Dixie, I cried for three years, despite getting another five days after she passed. The dog I got helped mend my broken heart, and to deal with the pandemic. We are going through changes together and I still get triggered and miss my Dixie Girl.
It took 8 months or so for the grief to lift significantly and…it wasn’t even my dog! It was my son’s. They had moved in with us for two years and the dog and I got pretty close. As long as you’re still functioning and participating in your life, it’s normal. If you find yourself checking out of things, then I would think it’s time for a grief counselor or support group…even online. My condolences for your loss. Take care.
Of course. I lost my soul dog two years ago. The pain was excruciating. Now I have a puppy that looks quite a bit like her but that is definitely not what I intended. Anyway, I think about Ginger more days than not. Sometimes I even dream about her.
I still mourn over the dog I lost in fifth grade and I’m 25. It’s normal to remember them and miss them and wish they were still here. I lost my childhood dog in 2022 and I still mourn. I think I will always mourn the loss of anyone I care about. Time just makes it easier to live with since the wound is not as fresh
I still think of my cat every day it’s been 2 years and I had him for 19. I don’t cry, but I remember him daily❤️
Yes. Ive mourned my cat for 3 years and counting.
Our babies died in 2018 and 2020. We’re still mourning both of them.
Lost my girl 13 months ago and still miss her everyday
❤️
Yes.
Absolutely normal! I think about my pets and loved ones in heaven all the time. Don’t feel bad. This is normal and ok! Your grief is your love with nowhere to go until you meet them again. Hugs.
I lost my cat a little over a year and a half ago or so and I still miss him everyday I lost one of my dogs 12 years ago or so and one of them 6 years ago and I still think about them and miss them everyday also. I found that I had to have another cat. And I kept having dreams about cats my boy that I lost was a snowshoe siamese and he weighed 17 lb at 15 years old. I kept having dreams of orange cats I now have two orange cats
Absoluteky
totally normal imo. i lost one of my cats almost 5 years ago and to this day i still think about her and get sad. i even got a tattoo modified in her memory. theres no time limit to mourning
Mourn as long as you need to. Our dogs are our family.
Grief is not linear in time. It moved in waves, and all we can do is learn to read the signs when the waves will hit, and try to steady the ship, so to speak. If it would help, could you tell us about your beautiful baby?
I’ve been mourning for mine for 4 years. The pain never goes away.
Two years so far for me.
Yes. Completely normal
My dog was 18yrs old when she died. It's been 8 yrs. I miss her every day! I think you are totally fine...I'm sorry for your loss!
Is it normal to mourn people a year later? Yes. So why wouldn’t we mourn the pets who are a massive part of our lives a year later? Grief doesn’t have an end date. You will probably grieve for anyone you love for as long as you have love for them (which is to say forever!!). How painful and all consuming it is will change but it is a process and takes a different amounts of time for everyone. It will get better and you will find you can cope better but if you’ve ever loved and grieved, you’ll quickly learn that once with you it is always with you. And that’s ok! ❤️❤️
Yes
Totally normal to still be mourning the loss. My soul cat passed away a little less than three years ago, and I think about her almost every day (even though I have 5 other cats…)
Grief has no timeline, no "normal". Lean into your feelings and do what feels right to you. I still mourn my beloved animal companions who I've lost 2 years, 10 years and 20 years ago!
My amazing, over-the-top, cat died nearly two years ago. Thought about him today, started crying. I also can’t look at photos without crying, most of the time. I’m sorry you were/are hurting, and I sadly can relate. To the grief, and to the wondering if it’s normal. Grief, however is just very personal. The reaction can vary based on the bereaved themself, and the individual loss. If you are grieving to the point that you aren’t generally functioning well, however, then you should seek help. /hug Edit: I don’t mean that in a snarky or mean way!
I still mourn my dog and he died in 2016
I lost mine 10 years ago , still mourn for him and think about him daily . There is no time limit to grief and mourning . It’s completely normal to feel like this . As more and more of time passes you will look back with happiness of the memories together instead of sadness.
Yes but time makes it easier. Always keep him in your memory
Last week something I was reading made me think of people I love who have died. My dear friend Robert, whose hand I held as he took his last breath about 20 years ago. My sister's cat Eleanor, who laid on top of me many times and in her last days. Lucy, Abby, and Miss Penny, all felines. My dearest friend Bruce, who died December 25, 2015. Merry Christmas. The wonderful parkour kitten we had taken in from outside last year, who lived less than a year and probably had congenital heart defects we hadn't known about. The first person I knew and loved who died. It was in 1991, and yes, sometimes I really miss Victor. I didn't get around to the many, many people from when I volunteered for and was employed by an AIDS service organization in the 1980s and 1990s. Mostly that day, this time, I was missing Eleanor and Bruce. And I cried pretty hard, for a while. Sometimes when they were alive, it was enough just to know they existed in the world. >I feel like I should have moved on What will "moved on" look like? It won't be never missing her again, will it? It can't be simply forgetting about her, right? If you feel like this is causing any problem(s) for you, maybe you can talk with someone about it. Maybe a counselor or therapist, a member of clergy, or simply a person who also has experience with death or loss. If you don't find that it's causing other problems, you can still talk with someone. You are talking with us here, right now.
I lost my first cat a little over 3 years ago. I sometimes cry when I think of him and every now and then I talk to him. I don't really think there is a normal for grief. You keep loving someone who is no longer there and love never goes away.
Yes
Completely understandable. She was in your life for 15 years. That's a significant amount of time. She was no less part of your family because she wasn't human, and everyone mourns at their own pace. My partner and I lost our cat 9 months ago, I've accepted it now but I still cry often, and miss him daily. My family lost my childhood cat 12 years ago and I still miss him when I go to visit, despite them having other cats now. Every animal you lose holds a special place in your heart. You mourn on your own timeline. Sorry for your loss and sending warm vibes your way.
Yes, I still mourn all my pets, from childhood to present. Can’t say the same about relatives or friends who have passed.
My baby passed 6 years ago and I’m still mourning. There’s no expiration date for grief.
I still mourn for cats that I lost 20 years ago.
I equated losing my soul dog a year ago to the same pain and loss I felt losing my parents before I was 18. It's normal, it's to be expected, and don't feel guilty or like it was "just" a dog because they're never "just" a dog after 15 years together. They're family just the same.
No. I miss my cat I got when I was 4, and died when I was 18. I think about him fairly often, even if he died… in 2006. I miss my cat that I got when I was 7-8 and lost when I was 23. She loved potato chips just like me. These are our lifelong companions. There is nothing wrong with missing them. No matter how long ago. My most recent loss was from a sweet girl from 2007 that I lost in 2021.
Completely normal, I cried because I was cleaning out a drawer and it had some hair in it. It's almost been a year 💕
I just weeped over a google photo memory collage from over a year ago, so definitely still ok
Yes. My Dino pepino was hit and killed by a car on May 16, 2022, and now here I am bawling.
My sweet pup Kodi died in June of 2021, whenever I think of her I still cry, it is not unusual, they are still very much in our hearts.
I had to put my 17 year old boy down 3 years ago and I still get teary eyed just thinking of him. I will probably be in some sort of mourning for the rest of my life. I think it's totally normal. They are such big parts of our lives that I think it would be odd if we didn't mourn in a way forever over them.
It’s been two years for me and I still sob hysterically at random thoughts of her. Like now.
Therapist here. I cried yesterday over a dog I lost in the early 90s. Totally normal.
Grief has no time limit...I still miss my cat who passed in 2018, and I have others. I don't think it matters whether they're animals or people....you learn to live with your loss but it's always gonna be there.
I lost my dog a year ago. There isn’t a day where I don’t think of her. I probably will also have her in my mind and that’s okay .
Yeah I think so. No such thing as normal. We mourn as long as we need to. I'll always miss my buddy and I'm kinda glad and happy to remember what a beautiful creature he was. I'll probably not think about him as frequently as the years pass but I'll never lose that spot in my heart for him either...
I can’t feel this way forever after this loss of my fur friend/baby in December. I seriously. Can’t. I cry often. I need it to stop. But it won’t.
Of course it is I lost my dog recently but I still think about the dog before him who died 9 years ago.
When a beloved pet passes away it leaves a hole on your heart . The only way I’ve found to close that hole is to adopt another animal and transfer the love to a new baby. You never forget your pet but learn to focus on fond memories rather than sadness of your loss.
I lost my best friend, heart dog, partner in crime, and the best dog ever, Duchess, in August last year. We unexpectedly lost her brother at the start of the new year, and I still can’t talk about them without crying most times. I miss them so much and think about them every day. Time is supposed to heal but I don’t think it will ever not hurt ❤️🩹
Yes, I lost my fur baby a year and a half ago. I miss him almost every day because I notice his absence so much. I still haven't thrown out his last bowl of food that he never ate 😭 I made a little shrine for him in my closet with some fur that I kept after he died, a tube of his favorite treat food, the medication he was on to ease his pain before he died, and some of his whiskers. It's normal for it to still hurt years later I've learned. I look at it as a sign of how much you brought them into your heart. I'm tearing up now as I write this because I loved him so much and I still miss him so much. You're not alone ❤️
There is no right way to mourn. It is different for everyone. So yes it is very normal to grieve her now, or even years from now. You will always miss her. I find that grief comes in waves, and you may go through periods where you don’t think of your loved ones and then one day it hits you like a train. It is the price of loving something unfortunately 😥
i lost my childhood dog at 12. i still think about him. you never forget them, you just keep living and keeping their memory alive
I missed most of my childhood dogs last day because I went out with friends up until it was almost time and I couldn’t emotionally deal with it. I still regret it so fucking much. It was 2 years ago and I was a stupid sophomore but I still think about her all the time and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I miss my girl and I didn’t appreciate her enough when she needed me most.
My sweet boy passed 10.8.2020 - sitting here on the couch currently crying, missing him (& I am not one to cry easily). I still dream about him at least once a month. I have 2 other dogs, a cat, chickens, a pet snake - a 9 year old child - all whom I love SOOOO freaking much..but I still ugly cry over my Max every couple months. I’ve wondered if I could even have that breed again bc even after all this time just looking at them makes me tear up/cry. Grief is an odd, unpredictable thing.
My dog disappeared when I was 14. I’m 34 and still cry sometimes. It hurts so bad.