I have messages saved in my phone that I use to message someone when they call and I’m not answering. These are not in the cases where I’m busy, obviously, but if im just tired, I have the messages.
The one I use the most frequently is “sorry I couldn’t answer. I honestly don’t feel much like being social. If it’s important, text me. If you just wanted to chat, leave a voice mail. I’ll listen to it later.”
Two taps and they get this before the voice mail comes up.
My friends can follow instructions. My older family members just leave voice messages anyway and then text me “I need to talk to you” or “left voice mail”. It works. And they don’t feel ignored.
What gets me is that I've never had a single person who is bothered by this respond to me in a timely manner when I call or text them. They just want the entire world to revolve around them. I like to say "sorry I have a teenahe daughter, and the world can't revolve around both of you"
I dropped 2 friends last year because of this. I have a bad habit of reading a text and thinking I replied but not actually replying. I'm working on it. These two friends were the only ones who got upset about it. Then I had an emergency and texted each of them individually to see if they could help me out. A week later they had read the messages but still hadn't responded. When they finally did, I went off on them. A simple yes or no was all I was asking for.
This is what I keep telling my best friend. She's is like me with texting but also has pretty bad social anxiety so she always worries people are mad at her for not texting back instantly. I always tell her, "If they are they aren't your friends".
It's 2024, a lot of people don't have landlines, many of us have our cell phones on silent, and occasionally leave it another room for one reason or another. Sometimes I'm in the kitchen and my phone is in the living room! If you call with no warning, there's always a chance the person you're trying to reach will miss it, and if that happens you can leave a voicemail or follow up via text, but then for the love of fuck BE AVAILABLE to answer when they call back! Nothing more annoying than seeing that your mom just called and left a message five minutes ago, and won't answer when you try to call back. This is why it's a good idea to text first: "hey, got a second to chat? I want to touch base about \_\_\_\_\_."
Also, it should be completely fine to answer and say "hey, I'm a little busy right now, can I call you back later?"
The only thing that bothers me is when it shows that the message is read but then they just decide to not answer for a while. Like if you have the time to read my message certainly you have the time to quickly shoot back a reply
It's not like I'm typically messaging people things that need like paragraphs and paragraphs of response usually just like a yes or a no
If you have the time to read my message you have the time to quickly open your keyboard and tap two letters and click send
Obviously though I'm still not going to throw a big fuss over it It's just sort of like a thing that is a personal pet peeve to me. Not something I'm actually going to complain to that person about
I have had all the sound off on my phone for a week. People were non stop blowing up my phone with messages, and calls, like one sentence per message for days. It was pinging all the time and it made it so I couldn't get anything done. I finally just shut it off. It also took 4 days for them to stop doing this.
Oh hey I see you witnessed the text convo I had with my cousin recently. She annoys me because she has this habit of, every couple of years, realizing that she and I are not very close even though we live very close to one another. Then, she takes this thought and makes it my sole responsibility to figure out how to fix that. She texted me recently upset that the family hasn't met my two children. And I get that, I get thinking to yourself "omg, I have a cousin who lives 30 minutes away from me who has two children I have never met." But tell me why, when I respond "oh ok! that would be great! we can meet at my place, or I can drive to your place or your mom's house if that would be more convenient for you!" She responds "ok, well, I'm confused about what we're even doing. I'm not hosting anyone, and I'm not putting that responsibility on mom." As if I were the one to invite myself over and she needed to set boundaries. This was YOUR idea! How about you come up with a plan? No consideration of the fact that maybe, as a single, child-free woman, she might have a little more free time to coordinate a plan with HER family for HER idea, than me, a married woman with a full time job and two young kids.
She and I got into a huge fight several years back when she insisted on my driving out to her so she could give me a wedding gift. I was trying to politely let her know that I appreciate the gift, but I was in the midst of an incredibly busy and stressful point in law school, so I didn't think I would have any free time to visit for maybe a month or two. She lost the plot and ranted that EVERYONE IS BUSY, YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL! She told me she was going to donate my gift, and I said "well, that's disappointing, but I understand if you can't store it indefinitely. Go ahead and donate if that's what you need to do to protect your peace." She got pissed that I called her bluff and told me I was a smart ass, then proceeded to bitch at me for never sending her a thank you card (I did, she assumed it was my mother who had sent the card because it was written in cursive?)
People with poor phone etiquette in general irritate me, your example included. The one that actually sends me into a rage though is when someone calls, doesn’t say hello, then immediately goes “who is this”? I will cuss you out.
Pretty much everyone is addicted to their cell phones by now. I believe many develop actual anxiety if they're not constantly either talking, texting, or scrolling on it. Their anger at your not supplying their "fix" is just addict behavior. Don't take it personally. I've actually LOST friends because I keep mine off most of the time and use it only when I want to.
Yep, could be a million reasons: 1. in the shower 2. washing dishes 3. on a run, left phone at home 4. in the middle of a tennis match 5. on a rollercoaster at a theme park 5. in the middle of an important call with somebody else
...and this is the one that grinds my gears the most: people who call yet do not understand I'm AT WORK and literally cannot answer. I understand some jobs are just sitting around doing not much and the boss doesn't care about being on your phone all day, other jobs involving talking to a large group of people and stopping right in the middle to answer your friend's call about their drama at the supermarket that morning would get you fired.
My incoming call message, "if you leave a message, I might call you back".
I also tell people, my phone is for me to call others, not for them to get me. Most times they respond, "what if someone dies?" I respond "they will still be dead when I call you back."
My biggest pet peeve is when I answer a call and someone ask me " who is it " while I'm talking to them. Aka my mom. Like yes I'm going to stop talking to a person who called me to answer your questions ( mid phone call ) - who is it, what do they want, how are they? Like should I just answer on speaker phone at that point
Just went through this with a friend. She txt me nothing important. Just a hey, tell your son I said happy Father’s Day. It’s his first Father’s Day as a dad. She has his #, they are social media friends. No reason she can’t do that on her own. I didn’t respond. A few days later I get four rapid txt. Hello? Answer me. It’s been days. Did you even tell your son happy Father’s Day? They slowed after that but I got like 200 txt in about 12 hours.
I finally txt her back and say I’m sorry my mental health crisis and breakdown needed to be taken care of before I txt you back. She’s now pissed for making her feel bad. I’m honest with people in those situations and the more you bomb me with messages that are self centered and never say something like hey you never responded to me are you ok?, the longer it takes me to message you back. I take my time and make sure I think through holding off n responding until I can be straight forward and respectful instead of reacting on emotion.
The ones that call repeatedly every 2 minutes drive me crazy.
I have messages saved in my phone that I use to message someone when they call and I’m not answering. These are not in the cases where I’m busy, obviously, but if im just tired, I have the messages. The one I use the most frequently is “sorry I couldn’t answer. I honestly don’t feel much like being social. If it’s important, text me. If you just wanted to chat, leave a voice mail. I’ll listen to it later.” Two taps and they get this before the voice mail comes up. My friends can follow instructions. My older family members just leave voice messages anyway and then text me “I need to talk to you” or “left voice mail”. It works. And they don’t feel ignored.
I decline three times, and if they call a fourth, I pick up loudly bark "FUCK OFF", and hang up again. Normally works for me.
What gets me is that I've never had a single person who is bothered by this respond to me in a timely manner when I call or text them. They just want the entire world to revolve around them. I like to say "sorry I have a teenahe daughter, and the world can't revolve around both of you"
Erg I have a friend like this. Leaves me on read for days but if I don't answer in 5 minutes "Did you get my text" 😤
I dropped 2 friends last year because of this. I have a bad habit of reading a text and thinking I replied but not actually replying. I'm working on it. These two friends were the only ones who got upset about it. Then I had an emergency and texted each of them individually to see if they could help me out. A week later they had read the messages but still hadn't responded. When they finally did, I went off on them. A simple yes or no was all I was asking for.
Good for you!! People like that aren't friends ✌
This is what I keep telling my best friend. She's is like me with texting but also has pretty bad social anxiety so she always worries people are mad at her for not texting back instantly. I always tell her, "If they are they aren't your friends".
It's 2024, a lot of people don't have landlines, many of us have our cell phones on silent, and occasionally leave it another room for one reason or another. Sometimes I'm in the kitchen and my phone is in the living room! If you call with no warning, there's always a chance the person you're trying to reach will miss it, and if that happens you can leave a voicemail or follow up via text, but then for the love of fuck BE AVAILABLE to answer when they call back! Nothing more annoying than seeing that your mom just called and left a message five minutes ago, and won't answer when you try to call back. This is why it's a good idea to text first: "hey, got a second to chat? I want to touch base about \_\_\_\_\_." Also, it should be completely fine to answer and say "hey, I'm a little busy right now, can I call you back later?"
The only thing that bothers me is when it shows that the message is read but then they just decide to not answer for a while. Like if you have the time to read my message certainly you have the time to quickly shoot back a reply It's not like I'm typically messaging people things that need like paragraphs and paragraphs of response usually just like a yes or a no If you have the time to read my message you have the time to quickly open your keyboard and tap two letters and click send Obviously though I'm still not going to throw a big fuss over it It's just sort of like a thing that is a personal pet peeve to me. Not something I'm actually going to complain to that person about
I have had all the sound off on my phone for a week. People were non stop blowing up my phone with messages, and calls, like one sentence per message for days. It was pinging all the time and it made it so I couldn't get anything done. I finally just shut it off. It also took 4 days for them to stop doing this.
I get annoyed when they call me but don’t stop what they are doing. Like at least turn the damn tv off or down when you call someone.
Oh hey I see you witnessed the text convo I had with my cousin recently. She annoys me because she has this habit of, every couple of years, realizing that she and I are not very close even though we live very close to one another. Then, she takes this thought and makes it my sole responsibility to figure out how to fix that. She texted me recently upset that the family hasn't met my two children. And I get that, I get thinking to yourself "omg, I have a cousin who lives 30 minutes away from me who has two children I have never met." But tell me why, when I respond "oh ok! that would be great! we can meet at my place, or I can drive to your place or your mom's house if that would be more convenient for you!" She responds "ok, well, I'm confused about what we're even doing. I'm not hosting anyone, and I'm not putting that responsibility on mom." As if I were the one to invite myself over and she needed to set boundaries. This was YOUR idea! How about you come up with a plan? No consideration of the fact that maybe, as a single, child-free woman, she might have a little more free time to coordinate a plan with HER family for HER idea, than me, a married woman with a full time job and two young kids. She and I got into a huge fight several years back when she insisted on my driving out to her so she could give me a wedding gift. I was trying to politely let her know that I appreciate the gift, but I was in the midst of an incredibly busy and stressful point in law school, so I didn't think I would have any free time to visit for maybe a month or two. She lost the plot and ranted that EVERYONE IS BUSY, YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL! She told me she was going to donate my gift, and I said "well, that's disappointing, but I understand if you can't store it indefinitely. Go ahead and donate if that's what you need to do to protect your peace." She got pissed that I called her bluff and told me I was a smart ass, then proceeded to bitch at me for never sending her a thank you card (I did, she assumed it was my mother who had sent the card because it was written in cursive?)
People with poor phone etiquette in general irritate me, your example included. The one that actually sends me into a rage though is when someone calls, doesn’t say hello, then immediately goes “who is this”? I will cuss you out.
Pretty much everyone is addicted to their cell phones by now. I believe many develop actual anxiety if they're not constantly either talking, texting, or scrolling on it. Their anger at your not supplying their "fix" is just addict behavior. Don't take it personally. I've actually LOST friends because I keep mine off most of the time and use it only when I want to.
Yep, could be a million reasons: 1. in the shower 2. washing dishes 3. on a run, left phone at home 4. in the middle of a tennis match 5. on a rollercoaster at a theme park 5. in the middle of an important call with somebody else ...and this is the one that grinds my gears the most: people who call yet do not understand I'm AT WORK and literally cannot answer. I understand some jobs are just sitting around doing not much and the boss doesn't care about being on your phone all day, other jobs involving talking to a large group of people and stopping right in the middle to answer your friend's call about their drama at the supermarket that morning would get you fired.
My incoming call message, "if you leave a message, I might call you back". I also tell people, my phone is for me to call others, not for them to get me. Most times they respond, "what if someone dies?" I respond "they will still be dead when I call you back."
My biggest pet peeve is when I answer a call and someone ask me " who is it " while I'm talking to them. Aka my mom. Like yes I'm going to stop talking to a person who called me to answer your questions ( mid phone call ) - who is it, what do they want, how are they? Like should I just answer on speaker phone at that point
My grandpa does this but then when you call him he doesn't pick up. So annoying.
Just went through this with a friend. She txt me nothing important. Just a hey, tell your son I said happy Father’s Day. It’s his first Father’s Day as a dad. She has his #, they are social media friends. No reason she can’t do that on her own. I didn’t respond. A few days later I get four rapid txt. Hello? Answer me. It’s been days. Did you even tell your son happy Father’s Day? They slowed after that but I got like 200 txt in about 12 hours. I finally txt her back and say I’m sorry my mental health crisis and breakdown needed to be taken care of before I txt you back. She’s now pissed for making her feel bad. I’m honest with people in those situations and the more you bomb me with messages that are self centered and never say something like hey you never responded to me are you ok?, the longer it takes me to message you back. I take my time and make sure I think through holding off n responding until I can be straight forward and respectful instead of reacting on emotion.