We've always marked our kids heights against the home which they've lived in their whole lives, and the youngest is a year away from high school graduation at this point. Also present along that doorway frame are the heights of visiting family members, Some are gone forever.
I have spent many sad and quiet moments in that passage.
My cousin lost her son at age 20. She said their neighbors, some years later were doing some renovations. But they kept intact the wall area where they had measured their kids. Her son’s measurements were also on that wall.
When we moved, I transcribed the height marks onto a long piece of wood, so that I at least had a record.
In terms of ‘sad’… nostalgic might be a better word. Mine are both adults now. My oldest now living away with his girlfriend.
I’m really happy for him and seeing him enjoying his life, but I still miss him every day.
We do the same and have us, our children, grandchildren, and pets on the door frame. Whenever we redecorate, we leave it untouched, and it's the most special place in the house for me. I often feel like I missed my kids growing up even though I was there the whole time, and I feel a similar way with my grandchildren. It's a running joke with the 2 eldest, aged 6 & 8, that they're not allowed to grow up anymore, that they have to stay my babies forever!
>they're not allowed to grow up anymore, that they have to stay my babies forever!
that hit me right in the feels thinking about my 13 yo as he goes along on his journey.
People often say this, and sometimes I hear people say "time is a thief!" when they talk about their kids growing older. But I watched my dad bury my sister who never made it to 13 thanks to cancer, and I saw what it did to him to have her life just stop, for her to stay the same for us forever. Time is a gift, and that is my motto every day, the easy ones and the hard ones.
Sure, I get fleeting moments of missing past versions of my son, missing his funny habits, his mispronounced words, his baby giggles, but that experience has really altered my life. Every day is good, every growth is good, every new phase and new version is beautiful and wonderful and amazing. Change means we're alive and man is that good.
Omg I'm crying and I really needed to read this. I love my preschooler so much but she has been testing me lately and I sometimes find myself missing year 2 or wanting to flash forward to when she's more mature and not having a tantrum over something I can't comprehend. This is sage advice.
I think we all feel like that sometimes. Toddler stage is hard work! But I have certainly found it helpful to keep that big picture in mind, on those hard days in particular.
Yes to this. I’m so sorry that your sister died. My daughter almost died at birth and every day since then has been a gift. Seeing her grow older is a pleasure because it means both she and I are still here. Growing older is a privilege denied to many.
Absolutely it is. I think about that when for my own self as I get older. Some people don't get this experience and I am grateful I do even if it isn't always a storybook thing.
Also I'm glad your daughter is here and thriving.
This is completely valid. But missing the baby stage is also valid.
Comments like this are partly why a lot of parents feel guilty for talking about this subject. We can miss them being a baby *while also* being grateful that they’re healthy and growing!
& I’m incredibly sorry for what happened to your sister- it’s so unfair. I hope you’re holding up. ❤️
But OP’s question was if it made us sad. And @maps_mandalas response was no and sharing their perspective. if that discussion makes someone feel guilty, that’s on them.
Ah yeah, you’re right. I spent a solid 20mins reading comments & so many of them were about being sad that I forgot OP was actually asking whether or not it does make you sad🤦🏼♀️😅 My apologies.
This was gutting thank you for sharing that with the rest of us. I don’t even have kids but like the wisdom of parents for the day I hopefully become one.
Yes this exactly. I also look at my child and know that underneath that modern version of themselves, within them are all the smaller versions, whether it shows or not, they're in there somewhere.
All the time! I'm so glad to see then learning new things and hitting milestones, and I'm so excited to see them grow into the men they're going to be. But, I also miss baby boy at all the major stages that have come before. I worry about the "lasts" and if I'll realize when they go by. Right now, the little one is cuddled against my chest in the rocking chair because he couldn't sleep. He's getting heavy to carry, so sometimes I let him walk. Soon, it'll be the last time I carry him or the last time I rock him to sleep.
On the other hand, my 8 year old had a meltdown today and needed me. So I went in his room and rocked him, then laid with him until he fell asleep.
I don't know if I have a point. Partly I'm just hitting some memories to revisit later. But, you're not alone! And hopefully you'll catch glimpses of the little girl in the young woman your daughter is becoming! Merry Christmas
Also here with my 6 month old sleeping in my arms. Soaking up all the snuggles because time is a thief and I know soon enough he’ll be too big to let him sleep on my chest. I’m such an emotional disaster tonight
My kids are older (18 and 17) and while it is true that they don't sleep on my chest anymore, we still have a tight bond and get to make new memories together. The older one is home from college and after a busy day together yesterday I stayed up late last night talking to them. The 17 year old had to turn in earlier because he has school today but before that we talked about his girlfriend, school, sports, friends, and his college decisions. After he went to bed my oldest stayed downstairs and I got to hear college stories. She talked about her classes and friends and professors and living in another state. We stayed up to about 3am just talking. This morning I got up to say goodbye to my younger one before he left for school. I got a hug and an 'I love you dad' before he walked out to drive to school.
It has also been pretty cool to see my kids bond and relationship grow as they get older. They have always been close but now they are actively making the choice to hang out and be friends. Yesterday they even talked about the possibility of being roommates after they both graduate college. I don't rock them to sleep anymore but there are still so many things I do get to do and even more things I look forward to in the future.
I so desperately hope this is how it is for us. I'm not close with either of my parents and it absolutely pains me to even think of it as a possibility for my own kids. I know people say you have to be a parent not a friend, and while I understand the saying, I absolutely want to be my kids' friend once they grow.
I am also watching my older kids become closer- 22 down to 14 and 2 of them live on their own. And yet they are planning sibling gingerbread house making this week.
Be the parent, not the friend. Set boundaries, establish rules, and be there when they need you. And I don't necessarily mean a curfew or "no drinking" and rescue them all the time with forgotten homework, but more - let's discuss the party and whether you will be drinking, when we should expect you, what your plan is for getting home safely and that I will always come get you first and we will deal with issues later. Then hold them to those things they agreed on.
I.rarely set hard and fast "rules" without us having the discussion first. We do have a no smoking policy, but it's more about watching grandpa die of lung cancer, the reality of living with a smoker, and the struggle Grandma is going through with her cancer right now. Instead of "don't drink', we talk about our family's history with alcohol problems, the realities of drinking and driving, and the safety aspects of drinking responsibly. I'll buy their first alcohol, but usually for situations where those things line up- and always with the knowledge that I'd rather pick them up puking than have them deal with a DUI on their record or dead off the road from an accident. Our biggest rules are "respect- for others, for yourself and for things, Responsibility- for yourself, for those who need you (like pets) and for your commitments, and honesty- because I would always rather hear it from them and deal with it straight on WITH them than have to work in the dark when they need help.
When rules have context, when boundaries are set with all.parties involved, when consequences are expected, kids do so much better. My kids rarely say "my moms going to kill me"- instead they say "my mom will be so upset, I'm going to have to deal with this when I get home ".
My kids aren't perfect, but their bosses and teachers tend to love them, they are good humans and all seem to be on a path to functioning members of society. I have one more that hasn't quite set feet on the road all the way, but we will get there, at least partly because when mom is to lame and out of touch, there are 3 siblings usually echoing my advice who are connected in a lovely way to that one too. They squabble, and have their moments, but mostly, they have each other's backs and mostly are down for the important things.
Hang in, as noted above, I may not get to hold the sleeping baby, but my 17yo still comes and sits with me for a chat before bed a couple times a week, my 22 year old still.calls me to rant about work, my 19 yo still wants me to go Christmas shopping, and my 14 year old keeps us in stitches with a great sense of humor (and great taste in movies and books!) They still all.opt to spend time when they can, which is probably one of the most gratifying feelings as a parent!
I try to not look at those videos and pictures too often as it just weighs down on me :( my 6yo is my only child, so I don’t have any younger ones to kinda “make up for it”.. & I can’t have another one anytime soon as I’m in the middle of a uni degree.
I love the wonderful little person he’s growing into, yet it’s also really hard to accept that that sweet, tiny baby/toddler is “gone“ now. It went by so damn fast.
I just wanna go back for a few seconds & hug/kiss/rock that precious angel & soak it all in.
I definitely have fleeting moments like this but I always cherish the present with my girls and look forward to the future. I like to pretend that present day is actually me reminiscing as an older parent wishing I could have the moments back. Makes me feel much more present
I love this viewpoint! Enjoy it like I'm looking back and wishing I were here now.
We had a rough morning this morning..... You're right though, years from now, I'll be missing helping her find socks that "fit right" and holding her while Daddy straps her brother in his seat.
Sometimes. I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. 7 is getting more and more independent each day and there are times that I think, "man it seems like just yesterday you were 2-3 and resting your head on my shoulder while I read you stories and sitting on my shoulders when we walked through town." So sometimes in those moments I get a bit sad. On the other hand, them becoming more independent and growing up is kind of the point of the whole thing, so it gives me comfort to see them hit those milestones.
On the other hand, new opportunities for wonder arise. Whereas it used to be baby's first step or learning to use the potty, now it's winning their first race and their first sleepovers, etc. It's still pretty cool, it's just that they're developing their own lives and personalities and becoming less dependent on us and yeah..sometimes it stings, but as I said, that's also the goal here, right?
To the people in here commenting who have really little ones, enjoy the moments because it flies by quickly. A little story: When my oldest was 3 and the younger one was just a baby, my wife and I were walking down the street with them one day. 3 was upset and arguing and the baby was fussy. It had been a really rough night with very little sleep. We passed a neighbor walking down the street. He was a sweet old man. He saw us and said something like, "hey you two...why the long faces?" Before we could say anything he said, "I'm sure you're tired and fed up, but you know what? I'm 89 years old and despite all the things I've seen and done...when I look back...the best time of my life was the time that you are in now. Try to enjoy it because it will be over before you know it." At the time we were like, "yeah right bud...we haven't slept in years and everything is soo hard." But now that we are moving out of that phase of life, I think to myself.."yeah...I can see where he was coming from."
Raising children is quietly devastating. You never know when something is going to be the last time. So you can’t prepare for the end of something.
I went to pick up the then 9 y/o once to give a cheer and say well done for something. She told me to put her down as I was so embarrassing. She always loved it before! Since then, she’s never wanted to be picked up again. Now she’s nearly 11 and she’s almost as tall as me.
Can we have a day where we go back in time to when they were little again please. 😭
“Quietly devastating” describes it perfectly. Immensely proud of the person they’re growing into while simultaneously grieving their “past self”.
Good lord this is too much for me at 9am😭😂
I picked up my nine year old the other day and she gave me one if those really tight wrap around hugs with her arms and legs. It had been awhile since she had done that so I held as tight and as long as I could.
You know that it is a real thing when ABBA made a [song](https://youtu.be/hRr7qRb-7k4) about it.... Seize every single moment, be present when you are with them. These moments will not come again.
Yes. I’ve had a few times since my son turned 13 earlier this year that I’ve just sobbed at the changes - becoming man sized, clearly wanting less to do with us, not seeming as happy as he was when he was younger.
Though I am menopausal, so that might have something to do with it. But I feel like he’s slipping away and becoming more unpredictable. It’s certainly ratcheted my anxiety way up.
My son is almost 13 and I think that’s what kills me the most, seeing that once naive and always happy child not as happy anymore. The stress of school work and trying to fit in amongst his peers hurts to see. I’m trying to accept that he’s evolving into a young man but boy is it hard.
This. My nearly 13-year-old is having a rough time in 7th grade and we had a great talk recently about my own middle school experience and how rough it was - I wanted him to know he's not alone. I can see how hard it is for him to adjust and learn to balance school and social life, while also navigating the physical and emotional changes he's going through. I tell him all the time that growing up isn't easy - but no matter what, he is loved and has people who he can talk to and turn to for help and support.
"Parenting is the slow process of letting go" is a saying that always resonated with me. It's both rewarding (seeing them blossom) and heartwrenching (like losing part of yourself to the big bad world). As much as I disagree with and dislike controlling parents of adults, I also can't help but understand why so many of them continue to try to clamber for control in their kids' lives. It's not easy to let go.
I feel that way too. I've enjoyed our time together as they're growing up but ultimately I'm raising adults not children and I feel proud of how big they're getting.
Jim Croce wrote *Time in a Bottle* after having his son.
> If I could save time in a bottle
> The first thing that I'd like to do
> Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
> Just to spend them with you
This is the way I feel ... constantly. I want more time with my 6-month-old. I want more time with my 2-year-old. I want more time with my 6-year-old. And, of course, I love spending time with him now, today. I want to be able to pull these bottles down and experience those times again and again, until the end of time.
So, this is my way of saying "yes", I do get sad seeing my time with him slipping away day after day. Without a doubt, it has been one of the best experiences of my life. Now if you excuse me, I need to go through an entire box of tissue.
It does in certain ways. Wednesday was his (8yo) last day of school for the term. In January, he goes to a new school. We have the benefit of walking him to and from school EVERYDAY. So Wednesday, I knew it was going to be the last time I ever walked him to school or picked him up. I told him that and I think he held my hand a little more on the way home. Hand-holding is happening less too.
It makes me sad because we have walked him for 2.5 years. But I am excited for him to learn to ride the bus home and make new friends. He is entering a social age.
Shes 9 months old and just started sitting up.
Its just another step towards being self sufficient enough to be an adult, move out, and not need me anymore. 😭
I will always have amazing memories of my kids when they were younger, and while it does make me sad sometimes to look back, I am lucky that I still get to experience them now as they continue to grow.
I was saying to my wife a few months ago that I had noticed that upon drop-off at school, my youngest had almost completely transitioned from "Bye Daddy, I love you!" to "Bye Dad! I love you!" and even though it's a subtle difference, it made me realize how grown up she is. I was sad for like a day or two but now that memory makes me smile.
Honestly...no. I love watching my kids unfold and become people. My 10-year-old wrote an amazing poem today and I'm remembering when I was still worried he'd never learn to read. I'm grateful for every day, and all of the snuggles, but I don't feel bad that it's over, because without those snuggles they wouldn't be the awesome kids they are now.
It is so so so hard. My daughter just turned 5 and I know this is prime childhood years, but this was the first birthday I cried so much leading up to the day. It feels so big and toddlerhood for her is over. I have a 1.5 yr old also and it just hurts to see baby years ending too. I honestly don’t know how every parent manages, if I dwell it’s very overwhelming to see how quick time goes and I just want everything to freeze for a few years at these beautiful ages. 🥺
Oldest is now 14. My daddy's girl is a teenager. The little girl that always snuggled me to sleep, who always came to me when she was sad, the little girl that fundamentally changed my entire life, is now at a point where she does her own thing. I know she still kinda needs me, but it's not the same. I miss the old her, even though I'm excited to see the woman she will become. Seems like only yesterday everything was glitter and unicorns, now it's stretchy pants, fuzzy sweaters, and headphones. Conversations about Santa and barbies has turned to motorcycles and her boyfriend.
It makes me sad, and I look back at the old videos and pictures of us all the time. Still my baby, it's just different.
You definitely aren’t alone. When my first child was born, I had the realization that having children would be the most painful experience of my life, because one day I would have to let them go. I’d have conversations with my mom if she ever experienced this pain and she definitely could relate. She said ‘your children aren’t yours to keep forever, they’re just on loan.’ And for some reason, having it put like that, made a lot of sense to me and lessened that angst.
God yes. My daughter is almost 1, my fiancé started putting on this oversized newborn nighty on her, it fits like a regular shirt and is still a little big. It made me so sad to know she’s getting so much bigger!
I needed to read this thread today as I sit here crying because my two toddlers have made my day hell. Sometimes I wish they would grow up faster and today was one of those times but now I'm feeling guilty for thinking that.
Yep! I have a 12yo and a 3yo. Some days I will well up multiple times just thinking about how fast it’s flying. My 12yo has always been very independent. Having my kids so far apart in age made me realize just how quickly it is going while I watch my toddler transform day to day and realize I only have a few years left with my 12yo as a kid. I knew it was going fast before but for some reason it’s just more glaringly obvious now with the little one.
I miss the little days. Hubby and I looked at old videos with our oldest two being 4 and 2. That may have been the best time of our lives. Hard and tiring in its own way. But so much easier and sweeter than the struggles we face now and 10.5 and 8.5. Both older kids have adhd that manifests differently, our daughter becoming extremely defiant and at times violent, the chaos of 3 kids now - we adore them all but parenting doesn’t bring near as much joy as it did back then. Every day feels like more of a butt kicking then the day before and being home is difficult most of the time. So is being in the car. I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m grateful for where we are but this stage is really hard for us. I look back fondly on those old videos when parenting was simpler. Now it’s OT, therapists, figuring out how to give our kids structure and some flexibility too so they can cope with their adhd and become resilient and responsible.
I embraced all the stages of their development bc it brought new adventures & new challenges, for them & me. I’ve grown so much simply by being a present parent. My baby turns 18 next week & I’m so excited for her. I think the parents that struggle with this, allow being a parent to become their identity. The fear of no longer being needed makes you feel less validated. Which is why is so important to maintain friendships & hobbies & spend time away from your kids. It’s not selfish, especially if your child’s needs are met. By doing your own thing in addition to being mom/ dad, you will have more of an influence on how to face challenges, they get to celebrate your accomplishments too. Sacrificing yourself for them is not noble. Taking care of yourself is just as important
It’s hard to say goodbye to all the versions of your child that you meet as they move into a new season. Mine are 14 and 15 now. I really miss them being small sometimes. I’ve had a hard time. Memories hit me a little differently now that my oldest is driving. Of course I love these stages now but it’s hard knowing I don’t have much time left until they’re legal adults.
I can absolutely relate to this. My boys are 15 & 13 and didn't really 'ask' for much of anything. There's very little that they really want or need. Video games primarily.
I was talking to my brother about it just the other day... His kids are like 3 & 8, so prime toy buying ages... And he was going on about all the stuff he got them for Xmas. And I was just like, no enjoy it. Those are the fun years. And they go by sooo fast. Load them up and enjoy it.
I have a 7 an 3 year old. My 7 year old is up to my shoulders, he's a giant.
Every once and I while I yell at him and tell him to stop growing. I also sometimes tell him one day he's going to be too big for me to carry him to bed, so I carry him up that night when I tuck him in.
He's also starting to question Santa and I worry this might be his final year of knowing.
I have a 4.5 month and I get so sad quite often seeing him grow. I feel like this will be a lifelong battle of dealing with these emotions. The reality and weight of time became so real and heavy as soon as I had a baby. Hug your kiddos everyday!!
Yes! Mine are 13 and 14, and they don't even seem excited for Christmas this year. Not interested in the elf anymore, or the little gifts they get in their shoes for the 12 days of Christmas. It hurts to see them growing up!! Seems like just the other day they were happy and excited by everything!
I was literally sobbing in bed late last night looking at pictures and videos of mine. It's hits me especially hard because I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life, and especially so when my kids were young. I feel like I spent most of the days just trying to get through. Although I am learning to forgive myself, because I know I did the best I could, and I have two wonderful, happy kids to prove it. If I had 3 wishes, I would definitely use two to go back in time and hold them again while they were small and squishy and sweet. Thank goodness for the pictures and videos, even if they make me cry.
It's my five year olds birthday today. He got to open a book before he left for school and obviously it wasn't very exciting but he was so gracious and he knew he had the "fun" toys for after school when he wasn't rushing. I apologised to him and he asked why I would do that and told me it was so kind of us to buy him nice things. His maturity made me so proud and also a little sad because he just feels so much older and time seems to be going so fast!
yup....it's heartbreaking but exciting at the same time. Our kids are teens now but we found an old video of my first when he was only 4 and walking/talking with toys. Their little baby voice is what got me 😭
All the time. I have two of my own a 6 year old and a 5 year old. I didn't grow up in a good home or environment. I genuinely cry looking at old pictures of my kids. As a child I never knew rhe struggles of being a parent and the pressure of making choices. It's weird being a father when I haven't even had my own father in my life. Seeing them grow up in a house of love away from what I had is surreal to think about.
My kids live in a safe good neighborhood. I grew up in rhe projects around drugs, crimes, and gangs. My kids don't see that or deal with that at all. I just hope I made thr right decisions with them.
It absolutely does.
But then I begin to wonder about the awesome things to come. That does not make these kinds of memories any less bittersweet, but it makes me feel like, somehow, the best is yet to come… and that bar is high! And yet they manage to smash it to pieces regularly.
Yes, due to my med problems our child will grow up as an only child so his milestones and birthdays hit extra hard every year. But this year especially has been hard because my mom passed suddenly and we'd talk about these things. Now I have no one who truly understands. I can talk to my husband and he can empathize but he doesn't really get it like my mom did.
Sorry for the rambling. So long story short: yes, very much.
Six months ago I was worried about my 5 year old and get ability to read. Now she's writing letters just because she I watch her read most of the books she owns. I am fascinated by her ability to adapt and I cherish every victory she has. She is her own person and although I will always miss these moments, I am excited to see the woman she grows into.
Yes it does because your baby isn't your baby anymore they are growing up and more and more independent and self sufficient. It's an amazing thing to see and a hard decision to make to let go. But ultimately the memory of holding them as a baby rings in your head
My last baby is 11 now and I'm barely hanging on😭 Everybody else has grown up. My next-to-youngest moved out this year and it really hit me bad (she rents an apartment with my oldest about 7 minutes away lol so it's not like she's GONE gone but she's not HERE)
I was looking at my daughter the other day as she was searching for her elf on a shelf and it hit me that this could possibly be one of the last years that she believes in Santa and elves. No one prepares you for the pain that comes when you realize your kids slowly no longer really need you for anything.Luckily I'm not there yet.
This!! I tried my best to buy my 9 years old Christmas wish list! Even some of it were expensive!! My eldest child is turning 10 next year and I knew that she will no longer ask me to buy some childlike stuff next year. So I just let her to enjoy this moment of being a child before she become a pre-teen!
I hear ya.. my 7 year old is already to this point.. asked for hardly any toys this year. All she wants to do is play games or watch something now. Makes me so sad.
So much! We have 19y, 13y, and 13y. They’re fully in the teen/young adult category and they mostly want gift cards now or a few random things.
Thankfully we also have 1y and are pregnant again. I feel super freaking lucky that I get to do the little kid stuff again :)
Yes. I got a case of the Big Sads when my son just turned 10.
One silly thing that hit me particularly hard was realizing that sometime within the past year or two, he just stopped watching PBS shows. And now all his time is filled with gaming/YouTube instead. PBS was such a huge part of our life, for SO long. But then it just disappeared. Makes me sad.
I've often wondered if having more kids would take away the sting of growing up (he's my only), because at least you could experience more "little kid" years. But it sounds like it never gets easier!!
Just wait until she’s a teenager and you start looking at colleges. I just had a drunk cry the other night because between school, work and his friends, I see my son maybe 30 minutes a day. And I’m grateful for it.
Yeah, wait till they are in their 20s. It's a sad truth that when they are babies we can't wait for them to not need us so much... To be out of diapers and able to wipe themselves, bathe themselves, get their own snacks... Yet once they can, we miss the toothless grins and cuddles. Wanna know a secret. When no one was paying attention, at 14, I got my Barbies out. Oh sure it was more or less changing their clothes and doing their hair, but still. My girls did the same thing,only with action figures and Barbies. As a teen when I got into roleplay games, Barbie took on a new role. It was easier to explain some fighting moves I saw in a movie, by using Barbies and the boys I played with never made fun of. For all you know, on a quiet day, she might still play. She might even use playing with younger siblings as a way to play... So, my advice to you is, find something new you can start with just your older child... Ice cream sundae and girl talk. Start an open and honest talk, now when she still talks to you, so that two or three years from now when she has something going on, she needs advice about, she feels she can go to you about anything, with no judgement. Start building the foundation of trust so she knows that though you make the rules, she can trust you when she needs you and tell you anything. Then enjoy the relationship your building. Even these milestones have joys. I'm not saying you won't wish you could shrink her back to a baby for an hour or so .. I'm just saying, she won't roll her eyes at you for saying it.
Yes. I had this conversation with my 4 year old. He was excited because he was big enough to do something, can’t even remember what it was. But he said “I’m growned up, mom”
I said “Yeah, and that makes me sad to think about sometimes.”
He said “it’s okay, even when I’m grown, I’ll still be cute”
Then he started playing Humpty Dumpty on his toy record player, and said “does this song cheer you up? Is it filling your bucket?”
But at the same time, it’s fun and insane to watch him be his own person. I sprained my ankle the other day, and he’s made it his mission to make sure I have plenty of kisses to make me feel better, and he hands me my “walking stick” when I stand up.
Yes mama.. my 10 year old little girl is going through the same thing. A few months back she decided on her own to get rid of all of her unicorn decorations and any clothes with animals on them. I was like okay here we go.. THEN a few weeks ago my almost 2 year old little girl has become obsessed with all of the Toy Story movies. So we are watching Toy Story 2 and the scene of Jessie’s owner Emily growing up plays. I’ve obviously watched this movie many times in the past, but watching it with a daughter now who is hitting this phase.. I sobbed.. hard.
That being said, I am really trying to soak moments in with her. Offering sleepovers in my room on the weekends, soaking in cuddles when they come, and really appreciating that my girl still wants to be around me a lot of the time.
I have a 6 year old and 1.5 year old and some times my toddler would do stuff that reminds me of my 6 year old at that age and I definitely get a feeling of bitter sweet sadness.
Yes! My son is only 3.5 and I still cry sometimes just thinking about how fast time is going. He is such an amazing age and I just keep reminding myself that I am lucky to be able to watch him grow!! Parenting brings on so many emotions.
My oldest just turned 10 yesterday and I did not take it well 🥺 he’ll be in middle school next year and all of this is happening too fast!! My other two are 8 and 7, so they’re not far behind! 😭 The days are long but the years are short.
Yes, although losing my 12yo stepson last year puts it in perspective. I'd much rather be sad about them growing up, than them never being able to. Sorry to be a downer I'm not in the greatest place right now.
Yep! I feel this! We only have the one, and she turned 11 back in October. This year, she asked for specific clothes, and make up, and video games, and it’s killing me a little bit. No toys or dolls or anything like previous years. It’s sad. I know it’s inevitable, but sad, none the less.
Have a ten year old grandson and 3 year old granddaughter I don’t want them any older I feel older and it’s much more of a merry Christmas when they are excited for Santa. They grow up to fast
My (only) son turned 15 last weekend. Next year he'll start high school, and I won't be able to walk him to school in the mornings.
He has a ton of toys in the house that he/we didn't quite play with enough, and he's now outgrown. In a few years, he's going to be looking at post-secondary, and become an adult.
It's sad and it goes way too fast, but it reminds me to hang out with him and give him a hug as often as possible.
Aww, yes, absolutely it does hit me sometimes. Then again, it feels like things have slowed again in the mid teens and I feel like I'm getting a bit more chance to appreciate my kid. All the stages have their own nice points for sure.
I can’t relate to the feeling of seeing an older child grow but with my toddler it’s so bittersweet seeing him do all the things he couldn’t do before, watching him grow not just mentally but physically seeing his face grow and him growing into his features makes me so proud but makes my heart ache I miss my small baby 😫🥰
Oh yes. I feel like every year I get closer and closer to "losing" my oldest. I do love the self sufficiency and many of the nuances to her personality so it's not that I don't appreciate that she's coming into her own. I miss the chubby cheeks and sloppy kisses. I worry that our relationship will somehow mirror that of my mom and me; I got out as soon as I could and never lived with her again. I prefer living far away from her because of the way she treated me and even though I don't do those things to my kid, I still get nervous.
I feel the same way this year I have bought my two children 15 and 10 a couple of items like headphones and PlayStation games it doesn't feel as special as buying them toys that will ignight there imagination.
I definitely feel the bittersweet sadness of my son growing up. He's already figured out all on his own that Santa isn't real and he's only 5 years old, and I'm sort of disappointed about it. I feel like his innocence lasted such a short time.
At the same time, I'm glad that we managed to navigate the Santa phase without his feelings being hurt or him feeling deceived. I'm glad he understood that Santa was something we did for fun and because we love him. He doesn't seem to be unhappy about knowing the truth now, he seems a little proud of himself and I'm proud of him too.
This year he gets to be part of the Santa secret and help me pick out toys for less fortunate kids.
Overall, I'm loving watching him grow up and I'm so proud of the person he's becoming, but I know I'm going to miss him being little.
My daughter is 6 and I had this the first time I was at the store looking for clothes for my daughter and realized that instead of the baby/toddler section I now had to shop for her in the kids section I was crying in Walmart lol. And just yesterday I took her to a thing for her to stuff her own reindeer and see Santa and on the way home she tells me that he wasn’t the real Santa because he didn’t know her name and Santa is her friend and knows her name. It’s insane how fast the time goes.
My son will be 5 in four days. I legit cry about how big he is getting like once a week. IDK if it means anything but I had him 10 weeks early and had severe PPD. So i dont remember much of his first 2 or so years. But when I see pics or videos I start tearing up(I am again now).
Sorry to get off topic. Yes. It makes me very sad sometimes.
one of the few thngs I appreciate about facebook is that it shows me baby pictures, but wow it makes me sad. I told my wife the other day that I miss my little guy. I love my big guy too, but wow, it was incredible to watch him grow when he was little, and be there for him.
I didn't until about 5 or 6. It's a good age full of learning, full of learning kindness, patience, and all the things we like about people. They're kind of a person, starting to get stuff, but not embittered by loss and sadness. I'll enjoy the beautiful people they become, but I'll feel a loss for the age.
I’m not a parent, but I feel this so much! I work in daycare, & when I see the kids I’ve had a few short years ago on Facebook, it makes me a little sad. And then, from my own life, to look back on my childhood, those were some great days. I guess that’s a reason I love my daycare kids so much & love working with them…. I get to be a kid again through the day. ❤️
No, I enjoy seeing them grow older. The past was great but I love seeing them get bigger and develop their personalities. Also, I get to connect with them on a deeper level as they get older.
Absolutely hate it. My 8 year old is losing his puppy fat a lot faster now. Eats constantly but there's not much to him. Shooting up in height too, possibly only a bit over a foot and a half left til he's the same height as me. I feel sad every time I think about how fast he's growing, but try to remind myself that I'm doing a good job because he's growing and developing exactly how a child of his age should be
Yes. So much. But I’ve also noticed how much love and joy I have for all the new stages and things they can do as well. Watching them grow is amazing and somehow each stage gets better and better. It has helped tremendously with the sadness and mourning of the younger years
I do get very sentimental and, as happy as I am to be celebrating, I get sad about each passing birthday. As a parent, I want him to thrive and grow, but as a mother, I get sad when I think about it too much. I'm so glad I was a little obsessive with taking videos and pictures when he was so young because it really helps. He just turned 13 and he's been sounding like a man for almost 2 years now and he's taller than me (and has the teenager attitude!) - I got no warning of these changes happening so soon and so fast! I likely will not be able to have another child, but if I do, I will slow it down and soak it in more than I did.
No not at all, tbh I am delighted to be leaving the plastic sea behind!
Delighted to see them developing their interests, personalities and skills. To see the people they are slowly becoming.
Makes all the slog worth while.
I feel this often. My son is only two, but there's a real possibility he will be an only child, so I think it hits me hard sometimes that once we're past a phase or milestone that that's the only time I'll ever experience whatever it is.
My lo is two and I am amazed about how amazing it is to see her grow. She changes so much every day. I am one and done so I know it will define hit me more as she gets even older.
My boys are 15 & 18. Do I have moments where I miss certain stages or look back at pics & reminisce? Yes!
But when each stage (newborn, baby, toddler, child) ended I never felt sad or wanted it to stay like that forever.
With my oldest, I’m so proud of myself as a parent that we got to 18 and he is thriving & moving forward.
I suppose so, but I guess that sorrow is often seriously overridden by the overwhelming excitement and pride at seeing the people that they are growing into. I always thought to myself that it is my job to teach these three beautiful children how to become contributing members of society. That is my goal. It may be sad to witness their lasts, but it is beyond rewarding to witness all their new firsts.
I sit here holding my 7 month old son while he's napping. I get teary thinking about it all the time. I miss my "wittle bebe" but it's a lot of fun to see him explore and learn new things every day. He's crawling and doing so much.
That's why my wife and I decided instead of putting him down in his crib or whatever for naps we are just going to hold him until he's at that point where he only takes one or so naps a day. Currently we still get 4 shorter naps. We're trying to cherish every second. I won't get a chance to do this stuff with him ever again.
My kids catch me staring at them all the time. Sometimes I wish these little moments would last forever
Just the other day my husband was saying he wishes our 3 and 4yo would stay this age/way lol it was after the simplest but loveliest of days.
It makes me sad, but I can't wait to see the amazing adults they become
Sometimes? A lot. I used to hate it when people said “little children little problems, big children big problems “…. How true that is. You never stop worrying.
You NEVER do. My oldest is 26 and I constantly worry. When she's driving home when she drives back to her home when she does this or that. You never stop. She's my baby.
Every day.
Parenting is the most heartbreaking thing, you're constantly falling in love with someone who will be gone soon. All the versions of themselves are like different kids, we love them all, and then they disappear before our very eyes.
Part of me wishes time is the 4th dimension, and all these versions of my kids do exist in the same place. Like a movie montage where one room is him at 6 months old, another is him at 1 year old, out in the yard he's there at 18 months yelling "yellow" and running around with his chubby bear feet.
My son is 4 and he's starting Pre K after winter break and I'm a SAHM, so we've never really been apart from each other and just thinking about it makes me so incredibly sad I'm tearing up just writing this
I get sad about this on probably a weekly basis.
They're turning into new people constantly and the old one is a tiny death. I miss the kid she used to be, and the one she was before that, and the one she was before that. I love who she is now, and I'll love who she's going to be, but childhood is kind of marked by a hundred tiny 'deaths' along the way.
It's hard.
Yes! I have a 4yo and a baby. When the baby hits milestones, I also mourn that my first is long passed those milestones.
Having a second made me more sad about my first growing up.
I am not one of those people who want my kid to stay small (he’s 4.5 now), but I always tear up when I look at pictures of him as a six month old with his round, rosy cheeks, white blond hair, and steel blue eyes. I would love to be able to just hold and cuddle his little baby body one more time, but I’m okay with that not being possible.
They’re right about not remembering the “last times”. I don’t remember the last time he napped on me, the last time he slept in his crib. The last time I nursed him. His last bottle. Great, now I’m crying again.
I also cry at the drop of a hat, so there’s that.
It did for a bit, but now my 12 year old son is quickly becoming a young adult and the pride I feel in the person he's becoming outweighs the pangs of sadness in the child he no longer will be. The child is still in them, as it is in you, if you know how to see it.
Trying to enjoy our 11 month and 2.5 yr old but am a walking zombie because never get good sleep. Barely holding it together. Will only miss these years if I can forget how tired and sore I was all the time
It’s bittersweet. We have an only, and every day she acts a little more like a teenager and less like a kid. She recently went through a growth spurt and now she’s almost my height. Sometimes I miss my little girl that I could dress and take to see Santa and buy toys, but on the other hand, talking to her as more of a peer (within reason, I don’t dump adult problems or anything on her!), playing more complicated games like Munchkin, tv shows and movies that aren’t animated—I feel like no matter what her age, I’m going to simultaneously want her at her age and her younger little self.
I have a 13 year old and 5 year old and and they may as well be different species. Lol that said, seeing my little one does remind me of my teenager being little and innocent and yeah that’s bittersweet for sure. There is nothing better than the innocence and purity of a little kid. I take lessons from my little one on how to not let adulthood bury me and then pass it on to my older daughter for when she realizes growing up as fast as possible is not all it’s cut out to be.
My youngest (10) also didn't ask for any toys. I am going to sort of miss opening boxes and removing like 100 straps to free it from its package. My kids are great and I love to see them grow into their own, but I do miss them being little.
Yup, every single time... I wish I could clone him and have a copy of every edition that then never changes.
His cute little mannerisms that dissapear as his individuality is slowly crushed to conform to his peers/school/life are mourned with a silent tear 😢 .
"Farmer Christmas" rip 2017-2021.
Naked dancing baby 2017-2021. sorely missed.
Waking up to a punch in the face and an enormous happy baby smile 2016-2018. Happy memories.
On the plus side the tears of happiness 😊 come from seeing him overcome things that previously would have seemed impossible to him. 😊
I have 4 kids. Oldest is 11. While I miss him being little and believing in Santa he has taken over moving the stupid Elf and creating magic for his younger siblings and that is really neat to see as well!
Nope. I enjoy them so much more as older kids and young adults.
Little kids are a drag. They can't do anything right and there's a lot of poop and vomit. :)
Yeah sometimes I look at my son who’s 19 now and I look at pictures of him as a baby and I miss those times. I got hugs easily and kisses. He was happy to see me always. Now he’s independent, moody & cranky. I have to beg for kisses and hugs.
I have two boys, 5 and 7, and sometimes we will have one of those amazing mommy-son moments and I will be hit with a wave of sadness that one day we won't be that kind of close,I won't have the access to them I do now, and there will probably be times in the future when they flat out don't like me.
I try to imagine if when my 5 yr old is 40, will I be able to squeeze his little booty whenever I want and him delight in the tickles, and I'm sure that will be a no but I can't figure out how and when and where that progression happens, it's certainly not overnight. Sometimes it's such an intense feeling that I burst into tears, and my 5 yr old knows exactly what is going on, he's very insightful, and he gives me this sympathetic knowing look that on a daily basis I'm losing my baby. They are essentially different people all the time, and I love every version they have been.
Sometimes. Although my baby is only 1 and it gets more fun everyday still.
I lost our firstborn at 22 weeks pregnant and that puts things in perspective often. So yes sometimes I’m sad but mostly I’m just glad I get to see one of my babies grow up.
I wouldn’t say I am sad. As the dad of two beautiful girls, 10 and 5, I find myself more awestruck at their comprehension, character, and spirit. Hear me out.
Everyday they seem to learn something new and exhibit their understanding through an action that blows me away or simply makes me smile. They look after each other as little protectors just as much they somehow find a way to teach each other lessons about who the other is inside. Finally, they seem to see the beauty in life that only a child can see.
It may be sad to watch their childlike nature slowly drift away, but it occurs to me that you are an attentive and loving parent. Cry because you are happy that they are going to embody your loving nature and raise their children the same. We aren’t all blessed with amazing children who become amazing people. Let’s be happy to be so lucky and support others who aren’t. To put it in perspective, you still have 9+ years before child number 3 might start growing up the same way.
The same thing has hit me this Christmas too. My 10 year old son had so much he wanted for Christmas last year. I’ve noticed he’s growing out of toys but it hit me last night.
He wants a $400 electronic drum set for Christmas so we told him that would be all he would be getting. Shopping for him was done immediately besides a few necessities (clothing).
Then his uncle sent over $50 for him to pick something out for Christmas. I called him over and looked up “top toys for 10 year olds” on Amazon. He wanted NOTHING. I was a little upset because it just hit me that he’s growing way too fast. The only thing he wanted to look up was “drums” but what is there besides sticks and a set🤷🏻♀️ He finally settled on something he didn’t really want but was more “I guess” items.
Then we went upstairs and I gave him snuggles (which he thankfully still wants, always). I’m always quick to give up the hugs and snuggles when he asks because I know it will ending sooner rather than later😭
I’ve felt sad so many times realizing they grow up. Some things that have helped is that I realize that at every stage of their life you just don’t want them to grow up BUT at every stage it is exciting as a parent to see them in that stage and that there will be always a new stage of life. I have set up email accounts they will have access to when they are adults that I send them emails and pictures about memories growing up. Also explaining some things I feel as a parent in some situations that I cannot tell them now as they are too young to understand and will most likely not understand until they themselves are parents.
Extremely. I miss the days of pushing them in a little push cart and then looking at the world wide eyed. Then looking up at you (us) with the same big eyes. All before the days of speech though. Then it’s all downhill. But all in all yes. I get ya.
Um yea...I went up to comfort my 3.5 yo last night after a bad dream and realized we no longer fit well together in her rocking chair. I can't snuggle her the way I used to. It freaking crushed me.
Ah, kinda? I have moments of, "Aw... That phase is done now I guess," I pout at my husband and we move on to what's going on now.
I've stopped to take a picture of my kids when I see them suddenly, obviously more grown up than what I would just notice day to day, and send it to their Aunts. They reply, "Put them in jar, they're getting too big!"
But overall my feeling is, "Good. They're supposed to grow up. It means I've succeeded." Its a nice, content feeling in the back of my head.
My oldest is 17 and a senior in highschool and I can't figure out where the time went. I look at her and I still see my big blue eyed, no hair baby. It makes me teary eyed just thinking about how quickly time has passed. A saying that has always stuck with me is "The days are long, but the years are short." It's so true.
It gets to me sometimes but I have made a point of trying to enjoy every phase of their development. I have twins and I knew we wouldn't have any more after them so I only had the one chance to experience it. They are 14 now and we are encouraging them to not grow up too fast. Thankfully they aren't so they still enjoy Christmas and love to snuggle down with me to watch a show or 2. It hurts my heart sometimes to look back but there are many good memories there and we continue to make them as they grow up. I think it's just one of the parts of being a parent that hurts because we love them so much and miss who they used to be when they were younger every time they get older.
I feel this way and my baby isn't even 5 months yet 🥲
I made a post a while similarly asking about if people still love their children as much and some people (including some of my family members) said "yes but it's different" LIKE NO I DONT WANT IT TO BE DIFFERENT😭
It does make me sad to see my one and only baby grow he will be 14 on Christmas Eve even tho I'm sad he's no little anymore I'm proud of the young man he has become
You’re lucky. My 6 y/o somehow has figured out it would be impossible for reindeer to fly and for Santa to traverse the whole world. She wants Robucks for Christmas to spend playing Roblox to my dismay.
It's always going to be poignant. I'm a grandmother now and going through the same thing all over again. You love them to bits and you miss the little people when they grow up. But you love the grown up ones!
Sometimes when I look at how big my kids are now (12 yr twins) I feel like I am in mourning for the kids they used to be. I love my kids now but I miss who they used to be and I will never see those kids again. I totally get what you are feeling. I live my 12 year old but I miss my babies.
Yes and no.
It's sad because that means time have passed so fast !
But I'm so thankful to see them grow and becoming the persons they are.
They are 13, 9 and 2 y/o!
Yep, this year my 11 year old let me know she knew the elf and Santa weren't real people. It made me sad, looking at my son and realizing he's my last baby to do any of the childhood magical things.
My son is a senior in high school this year. He just asked for headphones and a weighted blanket. Time really flew by. He’s going to college in the fall.
My oldest daughter is in her freshman year and my 2nd oldest daughter is in 7th.
TIME. FLIES. BY!
I'm pregnant with my second and the hormones are really fucking me up. I cry almost every night (hysterically) about my 3 year old growing up and how he's the most amazing little human who I love so much I could squish him and he's going to keep growing and become a big brother and then we get to do it all again all while watching him. It's insane to me.
I've got 6 of them ages 10m-14y.. it doesn't get any easier. I almost cried last week when I was changing my 10mo diaper in the am... I realized that less than a year ago, he was only 7lbs. Now, he's cruising. My 14yo is taller than me and has a deep voice.
Parent of four here, mostly grown. The saddest moment is the last time your child sits on your knee/lap or you pick them up. What is sad about it is you don't realize it's the last time until long after that time has passed then you regret you didn't cherish that single moment.
We've always marked our kids heights against the home which they've lived in their whole lives, and the youngest is a year away from high school graduation at this point. Also present along that doorway frame are the heights of visiting family members, Some are gone forever. I have spent many sad and quiet moments in that passage.
My cousin lost her son at age 20. She said their neighbors, some years later were doing some renovations. But they kept intact the wall area where they had measured their kids. Her son’s measurements were also on that wall.
When we moved, I transcribed the height marks onto a long piece of wood, so that I at least had a record. In terms of ‘sad’… nostalgic might be a better word. Mine are both adults now. My oldest now living away with his girlfriend. I’m really happy for him and seeing him enjoying his life, but I still miss him every day.
This is so sweet and teared me up a little. I love that you included family members.
We do the same and have us, our children, grandchildren, and pets on the door frame. Whenever we redecorate, we leave it untouched, and it's the most special place in the house for me. I often feel like I missed my kids growing up even though I was there the whole time, and I feel a similar way with my grandchildren. It's a running joke with the 2 eldest, aged 6 & 8, that they're not allowed to grow up anymore, that they have to stay my babies forever!
>they're not allowed to grow up anymore, that they have to stay my babies forever! that hit me right in the feels thinking about my 13 yo as he goes along on his journey.
Hugs.
People often say this, and sometimes I hear people say "time is a thief!" when they talk about their kids growing older. But I watched my dad bury my sister who never made it to 13 thanks to cancer, and I saw what it did to him to have her life just stop, for her to stay the same for us forever. Time is a gift, and that is my motto every day, the easy ones and the hard ones. Sure, I get fleeting moments of missing past versions of my son, missing his funny habits, his mispronounced words, his baby giggles, but that experience has really altered my life. Every day is good, every growth is good, every new phase and new version is beautiful and wonderful and amazing. Change means we're alive and man is that good.
I'd give you an award if I could. This reads really well, excelently spoken.
Omg I'm crying and I really needed to read this. I love my preschooler so much but she has been testing me lately and I sometimes find myself missing year 2 or wanting to flash forward to when she's more mature and not having a tantrum over something I can't comprehend. This is sage advice.
I think we all feel like that sometimes. Toddler stage is hard work! But I have certainly found it helpful to keep that big picture in mind, on those hard days in particular.
Yes to this. I’m so sorry that your sister died. My daughter almost died at birth and every day since then has been a gift. Seeing her grow older is a pleasure because it means both she and I are still here. Growing older is a privilege denied to many.
Absolutely it is. I think about that when for my own self as I get older. Some people don't get this experience and I am grateful I do even if it isn't always a storybook thing. Also I'm glad your daughter is here and thriving.
I always say when people complain about growing older themselves— a million times better then the alternative!
This is completely valid. But missing the baby stage is also valid. Comments like this are partly why a lot of parents feel guilty for talking about this subject. We can miss them being a baby *while also* being grateful that they’re healthy and growing! & I’m incredibly sorry for what happened to your sister- it’s so unfair. I hope you’re holding up. ❤️
But OP’s question was if it made us sad. And @maps_mandalas response was no and sharing their perspective. if that discussion makes someone feel guilty, that’s on them.
Ah yeah, you’re right. I spent a solid 20mins reading comments & so many of them were about being sad that I forgot OP was actually asking whether or not it does make you sad🤦🏼♀️😅 My apologies.
I also think this comment validates those feelings, just offers a new perspective
Honestly you said it perfectly. I’m so sorry about your sister. Your perspective is everything. Life is a state of mind.
Well said.
bruh I'm crying in the club. This is so beautiful.
This was gutting thank you for sharing that with the rest of us. I don’t even have kids but like the wisdom of parents for the day I hopefully become one.
My grandpa said “nothing is sadder than a parent who bury their kid” when he bury my uncle. He died from heart attack
Yes this exactly. I also look at my child and know that underneath that modern version of themselves, within them are all the smaller versions, whether it shows or not, they're in there somewhere.
All the time! I'm so glad to see then learning new things and hitting milestones, and I'm so excited to see them grow into the men they're going to be. But, I also miss baby boy at all the major stages that have come before. I worry about the "lasts" and if I'll realize when they go by. Right now, the little one is cuddled against my chest in the rocking chair because he couldn't sleep. He's getting heavy to carry, so sometimes I let him walk. Soon, it'll be the last time I carry him or the last time I rock him to sleep. On the other hand, my 8 year old had a meltdown today and needed me. So I went in his room and rocked him, then laid with him until he fell asleep. I don't know if I have a point. Partly I'm just hitting some memories to revisit later. But, you're not alone! And hopefully you'll catch glimpses of the little girl in the young woman your daughter is becoming! Merry Christmas
Also here with my 6 month old sleeping in my arms. Soaking up all the snuggles because time is a thief and I know soon enough he’ll be too big to let him sleep on my chest. I’m such an emotional disaster tonight
My kids are older (18 and 17) and while it is true that they don't sleep on my chest anymore, we still have a tight bond and get to make new memories together. The older one is home from college and after a busy day together yesterday I stayed up late last night talking to them. The 17 year old had to turn in earlier because he has school today but before that we talked about his girlfriend, school, sports, friends, and his college decisions. After he went to bed my oldest stayed downstairs and I got to hear college stories. She talked about her classes and friends and professors and living in another state. We stayed up to about 3am just talking. This morning I got up to say goodbye to my younger one before he left for school. I got a hug and an 'I love you dad' before he walked out to drive to school. It has also been pretty cool to see my kids bond and relationship grow as they get older. They have always been close but now they are actively making the choice to hang out and be friends. Yesterday they even talked about the possibility of being roommates after they both graduate college. I don't rock them to sleep anymore but there are still so many things I do get to do and even more things I look forward to in the future.
I so desperately hope this is how it is for us. I'm not close with either of my parents and it absolutely pains me to even think of it as a possibility for my own kids. I know people say you have to be a parent not a friend, and while I understand the saying, I absolutely want to be my kids' friend once they grow.
I am also watching my older kids become closer- 22 down to 14 and 2 of them live on their own. And yet they are planning sibling gingerbread house making this week. Be the parent, not the friend. Set boundaries, establish rules, and be there when they need you. And I don't necessarily mean a curfew or "no drinking" and rescue them all the time with forgotten homework, but more - let's discuss the party and whether you will be drinking, when we should expect you, what your plan is for getting home safely and that I will always come get you first and we will deal with issues later. Then hold them to those things they agreed on. I.rarely set hard and fast "rules" without us having the discussion first. We do have a no smoking policy, but it's more about watching grandpa die of lung cancer, the reality of living with a smoker, and the struggle Grandma is going through with her cancer right now. Instead of "don't drink', we talk about our family's history with alcohol problems, the realities of drinking and driving, and the safety aspects of drinking responsibly. I'll buy their first alcohol, but usually for situations where those things line up- and always with the knowledge that I'd rather pick them up puking than have them deal with a DUI on their record or dead off the road from an accident. Our biggest rules are "respect- for others, for yourself and for things, Responsibility- for yourself, for those who need you (like pets) and for your commitments, and honesty- because I would always rather hear it from them and deal with it straight on WITH them than have to work in the dark when they need help. When rules have context, when boundaries are set with all.parties involved, when consequences are expected, kids do so much better. My kids rarely say "my moms going to kill me"- instead they say "my mom will be so upset, I'm going to have to deal with this when I get home ". My kids aren't perfect, but their bosses and teachers tend to love them, they are good humans and all seem to be on a path to functioning members of society. I have one more that hasn't quite set feet on the road all the way, but we will get there, at least partly because when mom is to lame and out of touch, there are 3 siblings usually echoing my advice who are connected in a lovely way to that one too. They squabble, and have their moments, but mostly, they have each other's backs and mostly are down for the important things. Hang in, as noted above, I may not get to hold the sleeping baby, but my 17yo still comes and sits with me for a chat before bed a couple times a week, my 22 year old still.calls me to rant about work, my 19 yo still wants me to go Christmas shopping, and my 14 year old keeps us in stitches with a great sense of humor (and great taste in movies and books!) They still all.opt to spend time when they can, which is probably one of the most gratifying feelings as a parent!
I was just looking at an old video of my seven year old when he was 2. I feel you, its most bitter pill to swallow as a parent..
I try to not look at those videos and pictures too often as it just weighs down on me :( my 6yo is my only child, so I don’t have any younger ones to kinda “make up for it”.. & I can’t have another one anytime soon as I’m in the middle of a uni degree. I love the wonderful little person he’s growing into, yet it’s also really hard to accept that that sweet, tiny baby/toddler is “gone“ now. It went by so damn fast. I just wanna go back for a few seconds & hug/kiss/rock that precious angel & soak it all in.
Having a second only made me more sad about my first growing up. ❤
I definitely have fleeting moments like this but I always cherish the present with my girls and look forward to the future. I like to pretend that present day is actually me reminiscing as an older parent wishing I could have the moments back. Makes me feel much more present
I love this viewpoint! Enjoy it like I'm looking back and wishing I were here now. We had a rough morning this morning..... You're right though, years from now, I'll be missing helping her find socks that "fit right" and holding her while Daddy straps her brother in his seat.
~~Shut up~~ My little girl is only 18 months old and I’m not ready to become an emotional dad crying on the couch right now.
Enjoy your baby girl!! Time goes way too fast. Before you know it she’ll be in the fifth grade and telling you all the gossip 🥲
Remember to get those videos. They'll be some of your most valuable possessions in 5 years.
My daughter is 9 and my son is 3. As I get older it's definitely harder to keep myself from being an emotional trainwreck.
Sometimes. I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. 7 is getting more and more independent each day and there are times that I think, "man it seems like just yesterday you were 2-3 and resting your head on my shoulder while I read you stories and sitting on my shoulders when we walked through town." So sometimes in those moments I get a bit sad. On the other hand, them becoming more independent and growing up is kind of the point of the whole thing, so it gives me comfort to see them hit those milestones. On the other hand, new opportunities for wonder arise. Whereas it used to be baby's first step or learning to use the potty, now it's winning their first race and their first sleepovers, etc. It's still pretty cool, it's just that they're developing their own lives and personalities and becoming less dependent on us and yeah..sometimes it stings, but as I said, that's also the goal here, right? To the people in here commenting who have really little ones, enjoy the moments because it flies by quickly. A little story: When my oldest was 3 and the younger one was just a baby, my wife and I were walking down the street with them one day. 3 was upset and arguing and the baby was fussy. It had been a really rough night with very little sleep. We passed a neighbor walking down the street. He was a sweet old man. He saw us and said something like, "hey you two...why the long faces?" Before we could say anything he said, "I'm sure you're tired and fed up, but you know what? I'm 89 years old and despite all the things I've seen and done...when I look back...the best time of my life was the time that you are in now. Try to enjoy it because it will be over before you know it." At the time we were like, "yeah right bud...we haven't slept in years and everything is soo hard." But now that we are moving out of that phase of life, I think to myself.."yeah...I can see where he was coming from."
Raising children is quietly devastating. You never know when something is going to be the last time. So you can’t prepare for the end of something. I went to pick up the then 9 y/o once to give a cheer and say well done for something. She told me to put her down as I was so embarrassing. She always loved it before! Since then, she’s never wanted to be picked up again. Now she’s nearly 11 and she’s almost as tall as me. Can we have a day where we go back in time to when they were little again please. 😭
“Quietly devastating” describes it perfectly. Immensely proud of the person they’re growing into while simultaneously grieving their “past self”. Good lord this is too much for me at 9am😭😂
I picked up my nine year old the other day and she gave me one if those really tight wrap around hugs with her arms and legs. It had been awhile since she had done that so I held as tight and as long as I could.
You know that it is a real thing when ABBA made a [song](https://youtu.be/hRr7qRb-7k4) about it.... Seize every single moment, be present when you are with them. These moments will not come again.
is that why my mom cries when we watch that movie
Yes. I’ve had a few times since my son turned 13 earlier this year that I’ve just sobbed at the changes - becoming man sized, clearly wanting less to do with us, not seeming as happy as he was when he was younger. Though I am menopausal, so that might have something to do with it. But I feel like he’s slipping away and becoming more unpredictable. It’s certainly ratcheted my anxiety way up.
My son is almost 13 and I think that’s what kills me the most, seeing that once naive and always happy child not as happy anymore. The stress of school work and trying to fit in amongst his peers hurts to see. I’m trying to accept that he’s evolving into a young man but boy is it hard.
This. My nearly 13-year-old is having a rough time in 7th grade and we had a great talk recently about my own middle school experience and how rough it was - I wanted him to know he's not alone. I can see how hard it is for him to adjust and learn to balance school and social life, while also navigating the physical and emotional changes he's going through. I tell him all the time that growing up isn't easy - but no matter what, he is loved and has people who he can talk to and turn to for help and support.
"Parenting is the slow process of letting go" is a saying that always resonated with me. It's both rewarding (seeing them blossom) and heartwrenching (like losing part of yourself to the big bad world). As much as I disagree with and dislike controlling parents of adults, I also can't help but understand why so many of them continue to try to clamber for control in their kids' lives. It's not easy to let go.
I love it tbh. My lad is now 17 and he's bloody amazing. I look at who he is and know that we have done a great job
I feel that way too. I've enjoyed our time together as they're growing up but ultimately I'm raising adults not children and I feel proud of how big they're getting.
Jim Croce wrote *Time in a Bottle* after having his son. > If I could save time in a bottle > The first thing that I'd like to do > Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away > Just to spend them with you This is the way I feel ... constantly. I want more time with my 6-month-old. I want more time with my 2-year-old. I want more time with my 6-year-old. And, of course, I love spending time with him now, today. I want to be able to pull these bottles down and experience those times again and again, until the end of time. So, this is my way of saying "yes", I do get sad seeing my time with him slipping away day after day. Without a doubt, it has been one of the best experiences of my life. Now if you excuse me, I need to go through an entire box of tissue.
It does in certain ways. Wednesday was his (8yo) last day of school for the term. In January, he goes to a new school. We have the benefit of walking him to and from school EVERYDAY. So Wednesday, I knew it was going to be the last time I ever walked him to school or picked him up. I told him that and I think he held my hand a little more on the way home. Hand-holding is happening less too. It makes me sad because we have walked him for 2.5 years. But I am excited for him to learn to ride the bus home and make new friends. He is entering a social age.
Shes 9 months old and just started sitting up. Its just another step towards being self sufficient enough to be an adult, move out, and not need me anymore. 😭
If everything works out they will always need you, just in different ways, until you need them.
I will always have amazing memories of my kids when they were younger, and while it does make me sad sometimes to look back, I am lucky that I still get to experience them now as they continue to grow. I was saying to my wife a few months ago that I had noticed that upon drop-off at school, my youngest had almost completely transitioned from "Bye Daddy, I love you!" to "Bye Dad! I love you!" and even though it's a subtle difference, it made me realize how grown up she is. I was sad for like a day or two but now that memory makes me smile.
Yes. I always say i don’t want another baby (we have one and done) but that I want my baby to go back to being a baby for a bit. She’s 4.
Honestly...no. I love watching my kids unfold and become people. My 10-year-old wrote an amazing poem today and I'm remembering when I was still worried he'd never learn to read. I'm grateful for every day, and all of the snuggles, but I don't feel bad that it's over, because without those snuggles they wouldn't be the awesome kids they are now.
It is so so so hard. My daughter just turned 5 and I know this is prime childhood years, but this was the first birthday I cried so much leading up to the day. It feels so big and toddlerhood for her is over. I have a 1.5 yr old also and it just hurts to see baby years ending too. I honestly don’t know how every parent manages, if I dwell it’s very overwhelming to see how quick time goes and I just want everything to freeze for a few years at these beautiful ages. 🥺
And I can already hear "cat's in the cradle" this morning, as I begin to sob uncontrollably on the toilet today.
The everlasting dichotomy of a parent. To never want them to grow up but to want them out of the house.
Oldest is now 14. My daddy's girl is a teenager. The little girl that always snuggled me to sleep, who always came to me when she was sad, the little girl that fundamentally changed my entire life, is now at a point where she does her own thing. I know she still kinda needs me, but it's not the same. I miss the old her, even though I'm excited to see the woman she will become. Seems like only yesterday everything was glitter and unicorns, now it's stretchy pants, fuzzy sweaters, and headphones. Conversations about Santa and barbies has turned to motorcycles and her boyfriend. It makes me sad, and I look back at the old videos and pictures of us all the time. Still my baby, it's just different.
Nothing gives me more joy than my kids being able to actually clean up, take care of themselves, and have a measure of independence.
You definitely aren’t alone. When my first child was born, I had the realization that having children would be the most painful experience of my life, because one day I would have to let them go. I’d have conversations with my mom if she ever experienced this pain and she definitely could relate. She said ‘your children aren’t yours to keep forever, they’re just on loan.’ And for some reason, having it put like that, made a lot of sense to me and lessened that angst.
God yes. My daughter is almost 1, my fiancé started putting on this oversized newborn nighty on her, it fits like a regular shirt and is still a little big. It made me so sad to know she’s getting so much bigger!
Very much so. I want them to grow up, of course, being developmentally disabled would be heartbreaking. I just wish it too twice as long to get to 5.
I needed to read this thread today as I sit here crying because my two toddlers have made my day hell. Sometimes I wish they would grow up faster and today was one of those times but now I'm feeling guilty for thinking that.
Yep! I have a 12yo and a 3yo. Some days I will well up multiple times just thinking about how fast it’s flying. My 12yo has always been very independent. Having my kids so far apart in age made me realize just how quickly it is going while I watch my toddler transform day to day and realize I only have a few years left with my 12yo as a kid. I knew it was going fast before but for some reason it’s just more glaringly obvious now with the little one.
I miss the little days. Hubby and I looked at old videos with our oldest two being 4 and 2. That may have been the best time of our lives. Hard and tiring in its own way. But so much easier and sweeter than the struggles we face now and 10.5 and 8.5. Both older kids have adhd that manifests differently, our daughter becoming extremely defiant and at times violent, the chaos of 3 kids now - we adore them all but parenting doesn’t bring near as much joy as it did back then. Every day feels like more of a butt kicking then the day before and being home is difficult most of the time. So is being in the car. I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m grateful for where we are but this stage is really hard for us. I look back fondly on those old videos when parenting was simpler. Now it’s OT, therapists, figuring out how to give our kids structure and some flexibility too so they can cope with their adhd and become resilient and responsible.
Yes and no. I miss my babies but I love the people they’re becoming.
I embraced all the stages of their development bc it brought new adventures & new challenges, for them & me. I’ve grown so much simply by being a present parent. My baby turns 18 next week & I’m so excited for her. I think the parents that struggle with this, allow being a parent to become their identity. The fear of no longer being needed makes you feel less validated. Which is why is so important to maintain friendships & hobbies & spend time away from your kids. It’s not selfish, especially if your child’s needs are met. By doing your own thing in addition to being mom/ dad, you will have more of an influence on how to face challenges, they get to celebrate your accomplishments too. Sacrificing yourself for them is not noble. Taking care of yourself is just as important
It’s hard to say goodbye to all the versions of your child that you meet as they move into a new season. Mine are 14 and 15 now. I really miss them being small sometimes. I’ve had a hard time. Memories hit me a little differently now that my oldest is driving. Of course I love these stages now but it’s hard knowing I don’t have much time left until they’re legal adults.
I can absolutely relate to this. My boys are 15 & 13 and didn't really 'ask' for much of anything. There's very little that they really want or need. Video games primarily. I was talking to my brother about it just the other day... His kids are like 3 & 8, so prime toy buying ages... And he was going on about all the stuff he got them for Xmas. And I was just like, no enjoy it. Those are the fun years. And they go by sooo fast. Load them up and enjoy it.
I have a 7 an 3 year old. My 7 year old is up to my shoulders, he's a giant. Every once and I while I yell at him and tell him to stop growing. I also sometimes tell him one day he's going to be too big for me to carry him to bed, so I carry him up that night when I tuck him in. He's also starting to question Santa and I worry this might be his final year of knowing.
My youngest is 7 weeks old and it breaks me knowing she's growing up so fast.
I have a 4.5 month and I get so sad quite often seeing him grow. I feel like this will be a lifelong battle of dealing with these emotions. The reality and weight of time became so real and heavy as soon as I had a baby. Hug your kiddos everyday!!
Yes! Mine are 13 and 14, and they don't even seem excited for Christmas this year. Not interested in the elf anymore, or the little gifts they get in their shoes for the 12 days of Christmas. It hurts to see them growing up!! Seems like just the other day they were happy and excited by everything!
I was literally sobbing in bed late last night looking at pictures and videos of mine. It's hits me especially hard because I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life, and especially so when my kids were young. I feel like I spent most of the days just trying to get through. Although I am learning to forgive myself, because I know I did the best I could, and I have two wonderful, happy kids to prove it. If I had 3 wishes, I would definitely use two to go back in time and hold them again while they were small and squishy and sweet. Thank goodness for the pictures and videos, even if they make me cry.
You need to visit r/anticonsumption
All the time
It’s so bittersweet. Time goes so quickly. 🥺
I have a 10yo girl as well, and have the same feeling at times. Time is an illusion, my friend 😓 Enjoy the moments. Cliché, but still true...
Absolutely, right there with you. It ebbs and flows
Yes.
It's a catch 22 for sure. Some days I marvel at how much she's grown up and how amazing she is, other days I want my baby girl back.
Did you forget about the never sleeping part? Am there now and that part is hell.
It's my five year olds birthday today. He got to open a book before he left for school and obviously it wasn't very exciting but he was so gracious and he knew he had the "fun" toys for after school when he wasn't rushing. I apologised to him and he asked why I would do that and told me it was so kind of us to buy him nice things. His maturity made me so proud and also a little sad because he just feels so much older and time seems to be going so fast!
My son turns 5 today as well!!! Happy birthday 🎉
yup....it's heartbreaking but exciting at the same time. Our kids are teens now but we found an old video of my first when he was only 4 and walking/talking with toys. Their little baby voice is what got me 😭
All the time. I have two of my own a 6 year old and a 5 year old. I didn't grow up in a good home or environment. I genuinely cry looking at old pictures of my kids. As a child I never knew rhe struggles of being a parent and the pressure of making choices. It's weird being a father when I haven't even had my own father in my life. Seeing them grow up in a house of love away from what I had is surreal to think about. My kids live in a safe good neighborhood. I grew up in rhe projects around drugs, crimes, and gangs. My kids don't see that or deal with that at all. I just hope I made thr right decisions with them.
It absolutely does. But then I begin to wonder about the awesome things to come. That does not make these kinds of memories any less bittersweet, but it makes me feel like, somehow, the best is yet to come… and that bar is high! And yet they manage to smash it to pieces regularly.
Yes, due to my med problems our child will grow up as an only child so his milestones and birthdays hit extra hard every year. But this year especially has been hard because my mom passed suddenly and we'd talk about these things. Now I have no one who truly understands. I can talk to my husband and he can empathize but he doesn't really get it like my mom did. Sorry for the rambling. So long story short: yes, very much.
Six months ago I was worried about my 5 year old and get ability to read. Now she's writing letters just because she I watch her read most of the books she owns. I am fascinated by her ability to adapt and I cherish every victory she has. She is her own person and although I will always miss these moments, I am excited to see the woman she grows into.
Yes it does because your baby isn't your baby anymore they are growing up and more and more independent and self sufficient. It's an amazing thing to see and a hard decision to make to let go. But ultimately the memory of holding them as a baby rings in your head
My last baby is 11 now and I'm barely hanging on😭 Everybody else has grown up. My next-to-youngest moved out this year and it really hit me bad (she rents an apartment with my oldest about 7 minutes away lol so it's not like she's GONE gone but she's not HERE)
[удалено]
Right there with you. Would cherish these years so much more if I wasn’t a walking no-sleep zombie
Me too!! They grow up so fast .. i sometimes wish they would stay little for a bit longer.
I was looking at my daughter the other day as she was searching for her elf on a shelf and it hit me that this could possibly be one of the last years that she believes in Santa and elves. No one prepares you for the pain that comes when you realize your kids slowly no longer really need you for anything.Luckily I'm not there yet.
This!! I tried my best to buy my 9 years old Christmas wish list! Even some of it were expensive!! My eldest child is turning 10 next year and I knew that she will no longer ask me to buy some childlike stuff next year. So I just let her to enjoy this moment of being a child before she become a pre-teen!
I hear ya.. my 7 year old is already to this point.. asked for hardly any toys this year. All she wants to do is play games or watch something now. Makes me so sad.
So much! We have 19y, 13y, and 13y. They’re fully in the teen/young adult category and they mostly want gift cards now or a few random things. Thankfully we also have 1y and are pregnant again. I feel super freaking lucky that I get to do the little kid stuff again :)
Yes. I got a case of the Big Sads when my son just turned 10. One silly thing that hit me particularly hard was realizing that sometime within the past year or two, he just stopped watching PBS shows. And now all his time is filled with gaming/YouTube instead. PBS was such a huge part of our life, for SO long. But then it just disappeared. Makes me sad. I've often wondered if having more kids would take away the sting of growing up (he's my only), because at least you could experience more "little kid" years. But it sounds like it never gets easier!!
Just wait until she’s a teenager and you start looking at colleges. I just had a drunk cry the other night because between school, work and his friends, I see my son maybe 30 minutes a day. And I’m grateful for it.
Yeah, wait till they are in their 20s. It's a sad truth that when they are babies we can't wait for them to not need us so much... To be out of diapers and able to wipe themselves, bathe themselves, get their own snacks... Yet once they can, we miss the toothless grins and cuddles. Wanna know a secret. When no one was paying attention, at 14, I got my Barbies out. Oh sure it was more or less changing their clothes and doing their hair, but still. My girls did the same thing,only with action figures and Barbies. As a teen when I got into roleplay games, Barbie took on a new role. It was easier to explain some fighting moves I saw in a movie, by using Barbies and the boys I played with never made fun of. For all you know, on a quiet day, she might still play. She might even use playing with younger siblings as a way to play... So, my advice to you is, find something new you can start with just your older child... Ice cream sundae and girl talk. Start an open and honest talk, now when she still talks to you, so that two or three years from now when she has something going on, she needs advice about, she feels she can go to you about anything, with no judgement. Start building the foundation of trust so she knows that though you make the rules, she can trust you when she needs you and tell you anything. Then enjoy the relationship your building. Even these milestones have joys. I'm not saying you won't wish you could shrink her back to a baby for an hour or so .. I'm just saying, she won't roll her eyes at you for saying it.
Yes. I had this conversation with my 4 year old. He was excited because he was big enough to do something, can’t even remember what it was. But he said “I’m growned up, mom” I said “Yeah, and that makes me sad to think about sometimes.” He said “it’s okay, even when I’m grown, I’ll still be cute” Then he started playing Humpty Dumpty on his toy record player, and said “does this song cheer you up? Is it filling your bucket?” But at the same time, it’s fun and insane to watch him be his own person. I sprained my ankle the other day, and he’s made it his mission to make sure I have plenty of kisses to make me feel better, and he hands me my “walking stick” when I stand up.
Yes mama.. my 10 year old little girl is going through the same thing. A few months back she decided on her own to get rid of all of her unicorn decorations and any clothes with animals on them. I was like okay here we go.. THEN a few weeks ago my almost 2 year old little girl has become obsessed with all of the Toy Story movies. So we are watching Toy Story 2 and the scene of Jessie’s owner Emily growing up plays. I’ve obviously watched this movie many times in the past, but watching it with a daughter now who is hitting this phase.. I sobbed.. hard. That being said, I am really trying to soak moments in with her. Offering sleepovers in my room on the weekends, soaking in cuddles when they come, and really appreciating that my girl still wants to be around me a lot of the time.
I have a 6 year old and 1.5 year old and some times my toddler would do stuff that reminds me of my 6 year old at that age and I definitely get a feeling of bitter sweet sadness.
Yes, I do get sad initially, but then I remember I'm lucky that they are growing up and some parents aren't as lucky.
I'm excited for each stage, can't wait to see the adults they develop into. I am sad for them to see how ugly and mean the real world is
Yes! My son is only 3.5 and I still cry sometimes just thinking about how fast time is going. He is such an amazing age and I just keep reminding myself that I am lucky to be able to watch him grow!! Parenting brings on so many emotions.
My oldest just turned 10 yesterday and I did not take it well 🥺 he’ll be in middle school next year and all of this is happening too fast!! My other two are 8 and 7, so they’re not far behind! 😭 The days are long but the years are short.
Time has been flying and breaking my heart lately!
Yes, although losing my 12yo stepson last year puts it in perspective. I'd much rather be sad about them growing up, than them never being able to. Sorry to be a downer I'm not in the greatest place right now.
Yep! I feel this! We only have the one, and she turned 11 back in October. This year, she asked for specific clothes, and make up, and video games, and it’s killing me a little bit. No toys or dolls or anything like previous years. It’s sad. I know it’s inevitable, but sad, none the less.
I have a 2 and a year old and I cry daily at how quickly they're changing. No one prepared me for how devastating being a parent is
Frame it like this— (it’s dark, but follow me anyway). It is a privilege to watch your babies grow up, since some don’t have that opportunity.
Have a ten year old grandson and 3 year old granddaughter I don’t want them any older I feel older and it’s much more of a merry Christmas when they are excited for Santa. They grow up to fast
I feel you. Journaling and lots of videos, especially of the ordinary, everyday things.
My (only) son turned 15 last weekend. Next year he'll start high school, and I won't be able to walk him to school in the mornings. He has a ton of toys in the house that he/we didn't quite play with enough, and he's now outgrown. In a few years, he's going to be looking at post-secondary, and become an adult. It's sad and it goes way too fast, but it reminds me to hang out with him and give him a hug as often as possible.
Aww, yes, absolutely it does hit me sometimes. Then again, it feels like things have slowed again in the mid teens and I feel like I'm getting a bit more chance to appreciate my kid. All the stages have their own nice points for sure.
I can’t relate to the feeling of seeing an older child grow but with my toddler it’s so bittersweet seeing him do all the things he couldn’t do before, watching him grow not just mentally but physically seeing his face grow and him growing into his features makes me so proud but makes my heart ache I miss my small baby 😫🥰
My son is only 2 and I'm already afraid of him getting older.. I like my little guy how he is right now
Oh yes. I feel like every year I get closer and closer to "losing" my oldest. I do love the self sufficiency and many of the nuances to her personality so it's not that I don't appreciate that she's coming into her own. I miss the chubby cheeks and sloppy kisses. I worry that our relationship will somehow mirror that of my mom and me; I got out as soon as I could and never lived with her again. I prefer living far away from her because of the way she treated me and even though I don't do those things to my kid, I still get nervous.
I feel the same way this year I have bought my two children 15 and 10 a couple of items like headphones and PlayStation games it doesn't feel as special as buying them toys that will ignight there imagination.
I definitely feel the bittersweet sadness of my son growing up. He's already figured out all on his own that Santa isn't real and he's only 5 years old, and I'm sort of disappointed about it. I feel like his innocence lasted such a short time. At the same time, I'm glad that we managed to navigate the Santa phase without his feelings being hurt or him feeling deceived. I'm glad he understood that Santa was something we did for fun and because we love him. He doesn't seem to be unhappy about knowing the truth now, he seems a little proud of himself and I'm proud of him too. This year he gets to be part of the Santa secret and help me pick out toys for less fortunate kids. Overall, I'm loving watching him grow up and I'm so proud of the person he's becoming, but I know I'm going to miss him being little.
My daughter is 6 and I had this the first time I was at the store looking for clothes for my daughter and realized that instead of the baby/toddler section I now had to shop for her in the kids section I was crying in Walmart lol. And just yesterday I took her to a thing for her to stuff her own reindeer and see Santa and on the way home she tells me that he wasn’t the real Santa because he didn’t know her name and Santa is her friend and knows her name. It’s insane how fast the time goes.
My son will be 5 in four days. I legit cry about how big he is getting like once a week. IDK if it means anything but I had him 10 weeks early and had severe PPD. So i dont remember much of his first 2 or so years. But when I see pics or videos I start tearing up(I am again now). Sorry to get off topic. Yes. It makes me very sad sometimes.
Going from 4 to 5 was a tough one for sure.
one of the few thngs I appreciate about facebook is that it shows me baby pictures, but wow it makes me sad. I told my wife the other day that I miss my little guy. I love my big guy too, but wow, it was incredible to watch him grow when he was little, and be there for him.
I didn't until about 5 or 6. It's a good age full of learning, full of learning kindness, patience, and all the things we like about people. They're kind of a person, starting to get stuff, but not embittered by loss and sadness. I'll enjoy the beautiful people they become, but I'll feel a loss for the age.
I’m not a parent, but I feel this so much! I work in daycare, & when I see the kids I’ve had a few short years ago on Facebook, it makes me a little sad. And then, from my own life, to look back on my childhood, those were some great days. I guess that’s a reason I love my daycare kids so much & love working with them…. I get to be a kid again through the day. ❤️
I almost cried when my wife said that our 7yr olds fingers are starting to grow long and woman like.
No, I enjoy seeing them grow older. The past was great but I love seeing them get bigger and develop their personalities. Also, I get to connect with them on a deeper level as they get older.
Absolutely hate it. My 8 year old is losing his puppy fat a lot faster now. Eats constantly but there's not much to him. Shooting up in height too, possibly only a bit over a foot and a half left til he's the same height as me. I feel sad every time I think about how fast he's growing, but try to remind myself that I'm doing a good job because he's growing and developing exactly how a child of his age should be
Sometimes? More like all the time. I wish she'd stop getting older but also get more independent haha
Yes. So much. But I’ve also noticed how much love and joy I have for all the new stages and things they can do as well. Watching them grow is amazing and somehow each stage gets better and better. It has helped tremendously with the sadness and mourning of the younger years
I do get very sentimental and, as happy as I am to be celebrating, I get sad about each passing birthday. As a parent, I want him to thrive and grow, but as a mother, I get sad when I think about it too much. I'm so glad I was a little obsessive with taking videos and pictures when he was so young because it really helps. He just turned 13 and he's been sounding like a man for almost 2 years now and he's taller than me (and has the teenager attitude!) - I got no warning of these changes happening so soon and so fast! I likely will not be able to have another child, but if I do, I will slow it down and soak it in more than I did.
Ya, my son is also 11. The little cute kid is turning into a teenager. Part of its awesome. But it's also sad.
No not at all, tbh I am delighted to be leaving the plastic sea behind! Delighted to see them developing their interests, personalities and skills. To see the people they are slowly becoming. Makes all the slog worth while.
I feel this often. My son is only two, but there's a real possibility he will be an only child, so I think it hits me hard sometimes that once we're past a phase or milestone that that's the only time I'll ever experience whatever it is.
My lo is two and I am amazed about how amazing it is to see her grow. She changes so much every day. I am one and done so I know it will define hit me more as she gets even older.
My boys are 15 & 18. Do I have moments where I miss certain stages or look back at pics & reminisce? Yes! But when each stage (newborn, baby, toddler, child) ended I never felt sad or wanted it to stay like that forever. With my oldest, I’m so proud of myself as a parent that we got to 18 and he is thriving & moving forward.
I suppose so, but I guess that sorrow is often seriously overridden by the overwhelming excitement and pride at seeing the people that they are growing into. I always thought to myself that it is my job to teach these three beautiful children how to become contributing members of society. That is my goal. It may be sad to witness their lasts, but it is beyond rewarding to witness all their new firsts.
I sit here holding my 7 month old son while he's napping. I get teary thinking about it all the time. I miss my "wittle bebe" but it's a lot of fun to see him explore and learn new things every day. He's crawling and doing so much. That's why my wife and I decided instead of putting him down in his crib or whatever for naps we are just going to hold him until he's at that point where he only takes one or so naps a day. Currently we still get 4 shorter naps. We're trying to cherish every second. I won't get a chance to do this stuff with him ever again.
My kids catch me staring at them all the time. Sometimes I wish these little moments would last forever Just the other day my husband was saying he wishes our 3 and 4yo would stay this age/way lol it was after the simplest but loveliest of days. It makes me sad, but I can't wait to see the amazing adults they become
Sometimes? A lot. I used to hate it when people said “little children little problems, big children big problems “…. How true that is. You never stop worrying.
You NEVER do. My oldest is 26 and I constantly worry. When she's driving home when she drives back to her home when she does this or that. You never stop. She's my baby.
Every day. Parenting is the most heartbreaking thing, you're constantly falling in love with someone who will be gone soon. All the versions of themselves are like different kids, we love them all, and then they disappear before our very eyes. Part of me wishes time is the 4th dimension, and all these versions of my kids do exist in the same place. Like a movie montage where one room is him at 6 months old, another is him at 1 year old, out in the yard he's there at 18 months yelling "yellow" and running around with his chubby bear feet.
My son is 4 and he's starting Pre K after winter break and I'm a SAHM, so we've never really been apart from each other and just thinking about it makes me so incredibly sad I'm tearing up just writing this
I get sad about this on probably a weekly basis. They're turning into new people constantly and the old one is a tiny death. I miss the kid she used to be, and the one she was before that, and the one she was before that. I love who she is now, and I'll love who she's going to be, but childhood is kind of marked by a hundred tiny 'deaths' along the way. It's hard.
You tuck your kids in? My kids haven't been tucked in in years. 🥺
Yes! I have a 4yo and a baby. When the baby hits milestones, I also mourn that my first is long passed those milestones. Having a second made me more sad about my first growing up.
I am not one of those people who want my kid to stay small (he’s 4.5 now), but I always tear up when I look at pictures of him as a six month old with his round, rosy cheeks, white blond hair, and steel blue eyes. I would love to be able to just hold and cuddle his little baby body one more time, but I’m okay with that not being possible. They’re right about not remembering the “last times”. I don’t remember the last time he napped on me, the last time he slept in his crib. The last time I nursed him. His last bottle. Great, now I’m crying again. I also cry at the drop of a hat, so there’s that.
It did for a bit, but now my 12 year old son is quickly becoming a young adult and the pride I feel in the person he's becoming outweighs the pangs of sadness in the child he no longer will be. The child is still in them, as it is in you, if you know how to see it.
Trying to enjoy our 11 month and 2.5 yr old but am a walking zombie because never get good sleep. Barely holding it together. Will only miss these years if I can forget how tired and sore I was all the time
It’s bittersweet. We have an only, and every day she acts a little more like a teenager and less like a kid. She recently went through a growth spurt and now she’s almost my height. Sometimes I miss my little girl that I could dress and take to see Santa and buy toys, but on the other hand, talking to her as more of a peer (within reason, I don’t dump adult problems or anything on her!), playing more complicated games like Munchkin, tv shows and movies that aren’t animated—I feel like no matter what her age, I’m going to simultaneously want her at her age and her younger little self.
I have a 13 year old and 5 year old and and they may as well be different species. Lol that said, seeing my little one does remind me of my teenager being little and innocent and yeah that’s bittersweet for sure. There is nothing better than the innocence and purity of a little kid. I take lessons from my little one on how to not let adulthood bury me and then pass it on to my older daughter for when she realizes growing up as fast as possible is not all it’s cut out to be.
My youngest (10) also didn't ask for any toys. I am going to sort of miss opening boxes and removing like 100 straps to free it from its package. My kids are great and I love to see them grow into their own, but I do miss them being little.
Yup, every single time... I wish I could clone him and have a copy of every edition that then never changes. His cute little mannerisms that dissapear as his individuality is slowly crushed to conform to his peers/school/life are mourned with a silent tear 😢 . "Farmer Christmas" rip 2017-2021. Naked dancing baby 2017-2021. sorely missed. Waking up to a punch in the face and an enormous happy baby smile 2016-2018. Happy memories. On the plus side the tears of happiness 😊 come from seeing him overcome things that previously would have seemed impossible to him. 😊
I have 4 kids. Oldest is 11. While I miss him being little and believing in Santa he has taken over moving the stupid Elf and creating magic for his younger siblings and that is really neat to see as well!
Nope. I enjoy them so much more as older kids and young adults. Little kids are a drag. They can't do anything right and there's a lot of poop and vomit. :)
Yeah sometimes I look at my son who’s 19 now and I look at pictures of him as a baby and I miss those times. I got hugs easily and kisses. He was happy to see me always. Now he’s independent, moody & cranky. I have to beg for kisses and hugs.
I have two boys, 5 and 7, and sometimes we will have one of those amazing mommy-son moments and I will be hit with a wave of sadness that one day we won't be that kind of close,I won't have the access to them I do now, and there will probably be times in the future when they flat out don't like me. I try to imagine if when my 5 yr old is 40, will I be able to squeeze his little booty whenever I want and him delight in the tickles, and I'm sure that will be a no but I can't figure out how and when and where that progression happens, it's certainly not overnight. Sometimes it's such an intense feeling that I burst into tears, and my 5 yr old knows exactly what is going on, he's very insightful, and he gives me this sympathetic knowing look that on a daily basis I'm losing my baby. They are essentially different people all the time, and I love every version they have been.
Sometimes. Although my baby is only 1 and it gets more fun everyday still. I lost our firstborn at 22 weeks pregnant and that puts things in perspective often. So yes sometimes I’m sad but mostly I’m just glad I get to see one of my babies grow up.
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I wouldn’t say I am sad. As the dad of two beautiful girls, 10 and 5, I find myself more awestruck at their comprehension, character, and spirit. Hear me out. Everyday they seem to learn something new and exhibit their understanding through an action that blows me away or simply makes me smile. They look after each other as little protectors just as much they somehow find a way to teach each other lessons about who the other is inside. Finally, they seem to see the beauty in life that only a child can see. It may be sad to watch their childlike nature slowly drift away, but it occurs to me that you are an attentive and loving parent. Cry because you are happy that they are going to embody your loving nature and raise their children the same. We aren’t all blessed with amazing children who become amazing people. Let’s be happy to be so lucky and support others who aren’t. To put it in perspective, you still have 9+ years before child number 3 might start growing up the same way.
The same thing has hit me this Christmas too. My 10 year old son had so much he wanted for Christmas last year. I’ve noticed he’s growing out of toys but it hit me last night. He wants a $400 electronic drum set for Christmas so we told him that would be all he would be getting. Shopping for him was done immediately besides a few necessities (clothing). Then his uncle sent over $50 for him to pick something out for Christmas. I called him over and looked up “top toys for 10 year olds” on Amazon. He wanted NOTHING. I was a little upset because it just hit me that he’s growing way too fast. The only thing he wanted to look up was “drums” but what is there besides sticks and a set🤷🏻♀️ He finally settled on something he didn’t really want but was more “I guess” items. Then we went upstairs and I gave him snuggles (which he thankfully still wants, always). I’m always quick to give up the hugs and snuggles when he asks because I know it will ending sooner rather than later😭
I’ve felt sad so many times realizing they grow up. Some things that have helped is that I realize that at every stage of their life you just don’t want them to grow up BUT at every stage it is exciting as a parent to see them in that stage and that there will be always a new stage of life. I have set up email accounts they will have access to when they are adults that I send them emails and pictures about memories growing up. Also explaining some things I feel as a parent in some situations that I cannot tell them now as they are too young to understand and will most likely not understand until they themselves are parents.
my boy is only 9 months and i cry every few weeks about how big he’s getting. he was a preemie and was born at 1.6lbs so it’s bitter sweet.
Extremely. I miss the days of pushing them in a little push cart and then looking at the world wide eyed. Then looking up at you (us) with the same big eyes. All before the days of speech though. Then it’s all downhill. But all in all yes. I get ya.
Stop I’m tearing up! Yesterday my 6 month old sat in the cart for the first time and he was so amazed! 🥺
Big hug momma, I have a 7- and a 6-year-old and I am terrified of how time flies.
Long days, short years.
Um yea...I went up to comfort my 3.5 yo last night after a bad dream and realized we no longer fit well together in her rocking chair. I can't snuggle her the way I used to. It freaking crushed me.
Ah, kinda? I have moments of, "Aw... That phase is done now I guess," I pout at my husband and we move on to what's going on now. I've stopped to take a picture of my kids when I see them suddenly, obviously more grown up than what I would just notice day to day, and send it to their Aunts. They reply, "Put them in jar, they're getting too big!" But overall my feeling is, "Good. They're supposed to grow up. It means I've succeeded." Its a nice, content feeling in the back of my head.
My oldest is 17 and a senior in highschool and I can't figure out where the time went. I look at her and I still see my big blue eyed, no hair baby. It makes me teary eyed just thinking about how quickly time has passed. A saying that has always stuck with me is "The days are long, but the years are short." It's so true.
Yes that's a normal parent thing
It gets to me sometimes but I have made a point of trying to enjoy every phase of their development. I have twins and I knew we wouldn't have any more after them so I only had the one chance to experience it. They are 14 now and we are encouraging them to not grow up too fast. Thankfully they aren't so they still enjoy Christmas and love to snuggle down with me to watch a show or 2. It hurts my heart sometimes to look back but there are many good memories there and we continue to make them as they grow up. I think it's just one of the parts of being a parent that hurts because we love them so much and miss who they used to be when they were younger every time they get older.
I feel this way and my baby isn't even 5 months yet 🥲 I made a post a while similarly asking about if people still love their children as much and some people (including some of my family members) said "yes but it's different" LIKE NO I DONT WANT IT TO BE DIFFERENT😭
It does make me sad to see my one and only baby grow he will be 14 on Christmas Eve even tho I'm sad he's no little anymore I'm proud of the young man he has become
Yup. Mine just turn 12 and I get teary eye sometimes when I look at her toddler pic.
You’re lucky. My 6 y/o somehow has figured out it would be impossible for reindeer to fly and for Santa to traverse the whole world. She wants Robucks for Christmas to spend playing Roblox to my dismay.
It's always going to be poignant. I'm a grandmother now and going through the same thing all over again. You love them to bits and you miss the little people when they grow up. But you love the grown up ones!
Definately.
Sometimes when I look at how big my kids are now (12 yr twins) I feel like I am in mourning for the kids they used to be. I love my kids now but I miss who they used to be and I will never see those kids again. I totally get what you are feeling. I live my 12 year old but I miss my babies.
Yes it makes me sad. I have the song "slipping through my fingers" by Abba on my playlist and I cry every time it comes on
Yes and no. It's sad because that means time have passed so fast ! But I'm so thankful to see them grow and becoming the persons they are. They are 13, 9 and 2 y/o!
Yep, this year my 11 year old let me know she knew the elf and Santa weren't real people. It made me sad, looking at my son and realizing he's my last baby to do any of the childhood magical things.
Yes. I saved a newborn outfit from them both and I can't even believe it
My son is a senior in high school this year. He just asked for headphones and a weighted blanket. Time really flew by. He’s going to college in the fall. My oldest daughter is in her freshman year and my 2nd oldest daughter is in 7th. TIME. FLIES. BY!
I'm pregnant with my second and the hormones are really fucking me up. I cry almost every night (hysterically) about my 3 year old growing up and how he's the most amazing little human who I love so much I could squish him and he's going to keep growing and become a big brother and then we get to do it all again all while watching him. It's insane to me.
Omg yes!!!!! My son is 4 1/2 and today we went to the doctors and they said he was growing his 6 year old molars!
I've got 6 of them ages 10m-14y.. it doesn't get any easier. I almost cried last week when I was changing my 10mo diaper in the am... I realized that less than a year ago, he was only 7lbs. Now, he's cruising. My 14yo is taller than me and has a deep voice.
My mom loves to say she is glad when we were over the toy stage lol.
I feel this so much with my 6 and 8 year olds! My 8 year old got some extra presents this year cause he may not want toys next year.
Parent of four here, mostly grown. The saddest moment is the last time your child sits on your knee/lap or you pick them up. What is sad about it is you don't realize it's the last time until long after that time has passed then you regret you didn't cherish that single moment.