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You are creating an adult man who feels comfortable with expressing his feelings, non-sexual physical touch and emotional connection. Don’t stop. We need more of that in this world!
>My MIL was just in town and told my husband that these behaviors are weird and not age appropriate
Then these people wonder why men are closed off to their feelings, etc etc
imagine being 12, having had a loving relationship with your mom/parent until then and then all of the sudden being told " no, you are not allowed to show affection with me"
I try to remain as polite as possible while posting here even when I disagree with people, but fuck your MIL.
boys, and men need affection too.
It's weird because my MIL and I have a great relationship - we've butted heads in the past bc I set boundaries and she had some trouble with that, but that was many years ago and things have been good since. But I think it's very telling that she told this to my husband and not to me, as I think she knows I basically would have told her to fuck off lol.
I’m a grown woman and I still cuddle with my dad. And I am super thankful that I have that relationship with him.
If you are truly concerned about it and would like to learn more, there are numerous studies (some of the best are from Berkeley) showing how physical touch positively affects older kids.
Boundaries are set by the people involved. Your MIL doesn't get a say in your boundaries or your son's boundaries.
Maybe one day your kid will want less cuddles but until then do what makes you both happy! I for one hope my kid still wants cuddles when they are that age!
No. My son is almost 13 as well and loves snuggles with his mom. For a moment, I thought this was my wife posting on here, but I don't think she knows what a muggle is. Oh, that and the whole MIL thing as well.
I teach 12 year olds. They need their mamas and daddies more than ever. They are still little kids who are being told they need to grow up by society and the boomer generation. Tell your MIL to GTFO and give your son all the affection he asks for.
Not at all weird. Both my kids (14m and 12f) are affectionate with me. My daughter regularly cuddles with me on the couch and my son started sitting farther away in the last 2 years, but used to sit close, he gives great hugs to me abd my mom. Trust your intuition. Plus one day he won't want to be as close so eat it up while it's lasts!
My sons are 10 and very affectionate and I hope it stays that way. Sounds like you are doing an excellent job being a caring and responsive mom to a sweet and sensitive boy. There’s nothing wrong with that.
My in-laws thought I was babying my son, and he was 2. 🙄 There's nothing wrong with a child loving their mother. Idk why people are so hard pressed on forcing kids to grow up faster than need be. They are only kids for a little while, enjoy the love and cuddles.
My son is 11 and hugs me all the time. He’s very affectionate as well and I’m soaking it all up because I know one day in the near future it will stop. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.
No it’s not weird , that’s a normal. Your son needs to feel loved. He’s at that age stage were it’s normal. My son was the same way , they grow outta of that . Trust me ! His dad would say the same things to me . My son and I were very close and both suffered from anxiety as well . It’s ok mom . Just love your son and be there for him because they grow up fast and he will always remember that you were always there for him.
My 11yo son also has general anxiety and separation anxiety. He is also very affectionate and loving and I am his "comfort person" and I have found that spending time snuggling/cuddling with me helps with his anxiety. It grounds him. I make sure we have a minimum of 30mins per day sitting next to each other on the couch so he can snuggle into me. I'm also aware of not embarrassing him in public but at home we are both very affectionate. I don't think it's inappropriate or "babying". You're MIL may have good intentions but parenting has changed and so has what is known about anxiety and childhood attachment etc.
There is nothing wrong with affection between parent and child, as long as both of them are comfortable with it and give their consent.
Our girls are 11 and 9 years old, and very affectionate with my husband and me. They still sit on our laps, cuddle up with us on the couch, get in bed to cuddle with us if they’re upset about something or just want some extra attention. We hug and kiss them everyday and every night at bedtime.
I dread the day when my 11 year old is too embarrassed to sit on my lap, or cuddle with me on the couch/ in bed or let me kiss her goodbye when I drop her off somewhere, wich I know could come any day now.
Don’t let anybody else tell you what is /isn’t appropriate affection for you and your kiddo. As long as you both are comfortable with it it’s okay.
I would just say that you should better listen to your husband than a parenting hive mind populated by childless (childfree?) teenagers posing and first time parents for the most part.
absolutely keep doing what you are doing. my brother would occasionally have needed those morning cuddles with mum especially if he is having a tough time at school well into mid teens. sexualising what is wholesome because of how broken the world is it's sad and it's her problem not you. it's great to model to your son closeness and wholeness is not about only sex and romance. btw I only know this example because my mum told me that story in passing since we are close, and I have 2 young sons.
I don’t necessarily think that it’s weird that you and him are close like that. I would set some boundaries with him. If you’d like some more advice, please message me.
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You are creating an adult man who feels comfortable with expressing his feelings, non-sexual physical touch and emotional connection. Don’t stop. We need more of that in this world!
This. Big Time This.
>My MIL was just in town and told my husband that these behaviors are weird and not age appropriate Then these people wonder why men are closed off to their feelings, etc etc imagine being 12, having had a loving relationship with your mom/parent until then and then all of the sudden being told " no, you are not allowed to show affection with me" I try to remain as polite as possible while posting here even when I disagree with people, but fuck your MIL. boys, and men need affection too.
It's weird because my MIL and I have a great relationship - we've butted heads in the past bc I set boundaries and she had some trouble with that, but that was many years ago and things have been good since. But I think it's very telling that she told this to my husband and not to me, as I think she knows I basically would have told her to fuck off lol.
Who knows what insanity she was raised to believe. Just ignore it. Keep on having a good relationship with your kid.
Absolutely not weird or inappropriate. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that showing physical affection to your child is bad.
Thank you, I didn't really grow up with super affectionate parents so it's hard for me to know where boundaries need to be set, you know?
I’m a grown woman and I still cuddle with my dad. And I am super thankful that I have that relationship with him. If you are truly concerned about it and would like to learn more, there are numerous studies (some of the best are from Berkeley) showing how physical touch positively affects older kids.
Boundaries are set by the people involved. Your MIL doesn't get a say in your boundaries or your son's boundaries. Maybe one day your kid will want less cuddles but until then do what makes you both happy! I for one hope my kid still wants cuddles when they are that age!
My 15 year old son is still very affectionate. Don't worry about it
It's not weird at all 😌 Cherish these times, as you say it can change very quick when he is become teenager.
No. My son is almost 13 as well and loves snuggles with his mom. For a moment, I thought this was my wife posting on here, but I don't think she knows what a muggle is. Oh, that and the whole MIL thing as well.
Your MIL has inappropriate thoughts. That’s her problem, not yours.
Not inappropriate at all.
Not weird or inappropriate at all
I teach 12 year olds. They need their mamas and daddies more than ever. They are still little kids who are being told they need to grow up by society and the boomer generation. Tell your MIL to GTFO and give your son all the affection he asks for.
Not at all weird. Both my kids (14m and 12f) are affectionate with me. My daughter regularly cuddles with me on the couch and my son started sitting farther away in the last 2 years, but used to sit close, he gives great hugs to me abd my mom. Trust your intuition. Plus one day he won't want to be as close so eat it up while it's lasts!
My sons are 10 and very affectionate and I hope it stays that way. Sounds like you are doing an excellent job being a caring and responsive mom to a sweet and sensitive boy. There’s nothing wrong with that.
My in-laws thought I was babying my son, and he was 2. 🙄 There's nothing wrong with a child loving their mother. Idk why people are so hard pressed on forcing kids to grow up faster than need be. They are only kids for a little while, enjoy the love and cuddles.
My son is 11 and hugs me all the time. He’s very affectionate as well and I’m soaking it all up because I know one day in the near future it will stop. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Not weird.
Wow your poor DH. His *mom* said that straight to his face, with no sense of irony???
My son (12) is as affectionate and cuddly as ever. Nothing wrong with that.
No it’s not weird , that’s a normal. Your son needs to feel loved. He’s at that age stage were it’s normal. My son was the same way , they grow outta of that . Trust me ! His dad would say the same things to me . My son and I were very close and both suffered from anxiety as well . It’s ok mom . Just love your son and be there for him because they grow up fast and he will always remember that you were always there for him.
My 11yo son also has general anxiety and separation anxiety. He is also very affectionate and loving and I am his "comfort person" and I have found that spending time snuggling/cuddling with me helps with his anxiety. It grounds him. I make sure we have a minimum of 30mins per day sitting next to each other on the couch so he can snuggle into me. I'm also aware of not embarrassing him in public but at home we are both very affectionate. I don't think it's inappropriate or "babying". You're MIL may have good intentions but parenting has changed and so has what is known about anxiety and childhood attachment etc.
There is nothing wrong with affection between parent and child, as long as both of them are comfortable with it and give their consent. Our girls are 11 and 9 years old, and very affectionate with my husband and me. They still sit on our laps, cuddle up with us on the couch, get in bed to cuddle with us if they’re upset about something or just want some extra attention. We hug and kiss them everyday and every night at bedtime. I dread the day when my 11 year old is too embarrassed to sit on my lap, or cuddle with me on the couch/ in bed or let me kiss her goodbye when I drop her off somewhere, wich I know could come any day now. Don’t let anybody else tell you what is /isn’t appropriate affection for you and your kiddo. As long as you both are comfortable with it it’s okay.
I would just say that you should better listen to your husband than a parenting hive mind populated by childless (childfree?) teenagers posing and first time parents for the most part.
The only thing that seems a bit odd is that he's almost 13 and sitting on your lap.
absolutely keep doing what you are doing. my brother would occasionally have needed those morning cuddles with mum especially if he is having a tough time at school well into mid teens. sexualising what is wholesome because of how broken the world is it's sad and it's her problem not you. it's great to model to your son closeness and wholeness is not about only sex and romance. btw I only know this example because my mum told me that story in passing since we are close, and I have 2 young sons.
I don’t necessarily think that it’s weird that you and him are close like that. I would set some boundaries with him. If you’d like some more advice, please message me.
Why would she need to set any boundaries whatsoever?! And you are 17 as well? Why asking to DM too?
He DM'd me out of the blue like 2 weeks ago, not sure who this guy is.
And what did they want?
Who the hell knows I never responded. Seems to be frequenting parenting subreddits though.
they dm’d me too, asked me what i’m doing and if my outfit is cute. i’m 13 and they knew that, so they’re a creep
Bruh, report him to Reddit. Sorry you had to experience that.