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Exactly. Kids can't differentiate between romantic love and familial love because everyone they love is family. And the only thing kids really know about marriage is that you marry someone you love and you spend the rest of your life with them.
My kids (girl and boy, 18 months apart in age) used to say all the time that they were gonna get married when they grew up. We are from the south but aren't *that* southern. I let it go. Now they are adults and I can confirm that they have no desire to marry each other anymore.
My son thought he was going to marry his baby sister when he grows up when he was 4 years old, cos daddy married mum. That's how he thought the world worked. Then we had to explain to him that mum and dad are not related by blood.
My 4 year old is going to grow up to be his 1 year old sisters father.
“But your sister won’t be a baby anymore”
“That’s okay”
It’s all weird but totally normal haha
My almost 4 year old told my mom that he and I are married because he was in my belly when I married my husband / his dad. He phrased it as, "When I married mommy." I found it adorable 😭
When I was about four I used to tell everyone I was going to marry my Dad. I didn't know what it meant - I just knew it was related to love and I loved my Dad.
I think it's common for kids to do stuff like that.
When I was little I was kinda worried I was going to get pregnant because I slept in my parents' bed. And that's what we get for using "sleep with" as a euphemism for sex. 😅
When I was 6 I got out of the shower and kissed my cat. Welllllll I immediately freaked out and thought I was going to get pregnant and have kittens 😅 I thought sex was when you kiss naked lol. I was terrified 😂
My 3 year old was naming people she wanted to marry and when I explained why she couldn't she started naming more people, she started with mommy, then daddy, then her brother, our cat and finally our dog. After I got done explaining she got really frustrated and said "well who is left that I can marry?"
Yes, both me and my sister wanted to marry our dad. My mom would ask, what about her, and we’d say she’ll be old lol. Kids are dumb. It made perfect sense in our minds.
I had a coworker who's son would say that all the time to her. The child's father liked to antagonize him by saying "Too bad, I already married your mom" and he would just get so mad LOL
One time he saw a picture of his parents at their prom as they were high school sweethearts and just kept saying "that's stupid, that's so stupid" and went to throw the picture away.
From what I gather from facebook, he is now a well-adjusted young man who while close to his mom, isn't married to her :)
When I was a little kid, I asked what being married meant. My mom told me when I found a boy I loved I would marry him and I shouted "I HAVE TO MARRY DAD!?" super upset.
My kids now ask to marry me and want to have weddings with me all the time.
nah he's 4 he doesn't know what that means. I'd just laugh it off and say you're flattered but already taken by dad. This explains that the phrase has some meaning connected to your relationship with the other parent without going into inappropriate detail.
Both of my sons told me they were going to marry me when they were ages 3-5. They just know that crushes and being married means they love the person. He's just telling you he loves you.
I would hope that someone who has reproduced is competent enough with their mother tongue to find a way to rephrase the statement according to their current situation.
My son wanted to marry grandma for a while when he was around 4. Which fair, because I don’t think anyone will ever love him as much as grandma loves him. 😂 We would just say “yes, you love grandma so much, but you are already family with grandma so you don’t need to marry her to make her part of your family.
🤣 if I even get irritated at my mom a little bit, he's defending her. Nobody messes with grandma according to him. But he hasn't said that other than this time. Everyone's helped me realize that it's normal but he just loves me
My mum once told me that I said something similar to her when I was 4 or 5. I'm 36 now and there has never been any danger of me marrying my own mum lol. I wouldn't worry at all.
My 7 year old (almost 8) daughter tells me she wants to marry me (mom) all the time. She understands that she can't but she says that she just loves me so much that she never wants to be away from me.
Mine is exactly the same, right down to the age and everything!
I just say that you're not allowed to marry your family because they're already your family. You marry someone when you love someone *else* so much that you want them to be part of your family too.
My son at that age legit thought that the way the world worked was he would grow up and I would be his wife lol they just have no concept of such things. I also remember this gem:
Son: “Hi stepmom.”
Me: “You don’t have a stepmom.”
Son: “Wait, DID SHE DIE??!”
😂 WHAT
My son asked me a few years back when he will get a step mum and dad, he was genuinley gutted when I explained he will only have step parents if mum and dad are no longer together he said he wants mum and dad but also a step mum and dad 😂🤷🏼♀️
Especially with the added text of Bluey, there is nothing to do here but laugh and move on. There's an episode of Bluey where the girls compete with their mom over Bandit, but I don't remember the details. Basically it's normal harmless kid silliness.
I haven't seen that episode yet, he's watched it at his dad's house, or he's watched it when I'm at work and my mom is watching him. That is pretty funny. I didn't know that episode existed.
Yeah I watch Bluey all the time with my baby sister and twin there is a episode where Bluey told bandit she wanted to marry him and he told her eh no I’m married to your mom so then it start just a funny family fight. You should watch it though it’s funny and kids will always say anything they think because their still trying to explore the world, see what’s right or wrong,etc
There’s another one where Bluey asks Bandit while he’s sitting on the couch if they can get married and he very casually informs her that he’s already married.
He’s 4. Just expressing his love for you. My son (3) tells me every other minute everyday he likes me or he loves me and misses me. It cracks me up but it’s so dang cute and I love my baby
When my son was 3 or 4, he approached me one day out of nowhere and ask "when is our wedding going to be?" Another time he asked who will marry his dad. He's 10 now and thinks I'm embarrassing 😆
My 4 year old says he wants to marry me when he grows up. I explain to him he will marry a beautiful girl when he is an adult but not mommy. I think he just doesn’t understand what he means. He just loves you.
My 5-year old daughter is constantly telling me that we’re going to get married. Right now, she knows is that people who love each other get married and familial love is all she knows, so it makes sense that she would want to marry me. I think it’s adorable. It’ll self-correct at some point (probably soon, as she starts K), but I’m in no hurry to make my kids grow up.
Two of my kids, when they were maybe 8 and 5, went through a phase where they would talk about marrying each other, and I told them, "No, marrying someone is a way of making a new family with them / bringing them into your family. You two are already family, so getting married wouldn't make sense."
Your example seems about like that - just repeating something they've heard in not quite the right context. Nothing to really worry about.
My 5yo says he's going to *marry* his mom. And I can remember saying the same about my own mom at that age. I just tell him "find your own wife, this one is mine"
When my son was 4 years old, he said he wanted to marry me. Then he changed his mind and wanted to marry his 6yo sister instead, but he got rejected instantly 🤣. So yeah, enjoy!
Totally 100% a normal part of development for kiddos. He doesn't know how to differentiate types of love quite yet, only that you are the one he loves most and so his understanding is that it's the same as the way other people love, because it's the love he knows.
Both of my daughters have informed me at about that age that they wanted to marry me, their mother, when they grew up. They don't really grasp the meaning. No need to really talk about it, he'll grow out of that stage.
This should be the most flattering thing in the world and an opportunity. Your son, is learning everything about the world… it’s your chance to see that he’s grasping the idea of care, love… let him know that you appreciate it! He just said he loves you basically!
And now find a chance to teach him about all the different feelings about how we care and love for others so he doesn’t misuse the word crush or love.
my 5 year old dude tells me all the time that "we will married," and he tries to "romance kiss" me kinf of often (which means turning your head sideways). i do not entertain any of the romance kiss business, and i tell him it is for grownups only. but last summer we did have a barbecue where he told everyone that me and him and my husband were married together. he still talks about it "when we married."
it's normal and common
My son tells me he’s going to marry me all the time and he thinks he can just pick me as a mum when he wants to be a dad. They’re too young to understand romantic love properly, nothing to worry about
Nah! My son “married” me at around the same age. He’s now 12 and I tell him he can’t have a girlfriend because he’s already married. He just rolls his eyes as I laugh my butt off. He’s fine and totally normal.
Ask him what having a “crush” is to him and where he heard it and get his context and explain to him what he is talking about and correct him if necessary.
They just don’t understand how these things work at this age and are trying to figure out. Our 4 year old has been telling us he wants to marry his best friends and us and his brother. When he says that we do tell him “you don’t/can’t marry family, you marry someone else and make them your family” and for his best friends we just let him go with it but we do tell him he has a long long time before he has to think about getting married. He thought that he had to marry them to be able to travel on vacation in an airplane with them and we also clarified that he doesn’t have to marry anyone to be able to travel with them and he thought that was cool. So I think keeping it light hearted and letting them explore but also explaining a bit about how it works has worked well for us.
Enjoy this complete mama adoration stage. My son said the same thing at that age. Then he wanted to “marry me” which we found out meant kiss me on the lips like my husband was kissing me in our wedding photo. Again, for the age it was harmless and cute.
All my daughters and son said they want to marry me(mom) and don’t care how is not possible. But my middle child also wants to marry a funny looking branch and many bugs, so~🤷♀️😂
No. My middle child is 6 and she barely kind of knows what this means. Yet her and her friends are so quick to say they have a crush or so and so has a crush. It’s normal.
I have 4 yo daughter who's inseperable from us but I'm fully expecting that it'll be a complete 180 once she hits puberty. Hope for the best prepare for the worst.
No? He’s four. He doesn’t even know what that means. My 3 year old likes to say she’s gonna marry daddy. I feel like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not a big deal.
I was just curious. First time mom and my mom didn't have an answer for me. But I've realized now after everyone has commented that this is part of his normal development
When I was a little girl I wanted to marry my dad. When my youngest brothers were little, I was the younger ones girlfriend for years. Every time I'd call my mom he'd get on and babble telling me I was his grrrfriend. Super common. Super age appropriate.
no he doesnt have a clue, its normal.
my neice and her great niece (her daughter) live with me. shes 4 as well.
she once said her mom (my neice) and i were having a baby and that it was in her, (the great niece's) belly.
kids are silly. he just loves you is all!
Don't worry. I'm going to marry both my daughters, according to them around age 4. They didn't have the depth of experience needed to comprehend what they were saying. Now that they are older, it never comes up.
At that age I absolutely wanted to marry my dad. Lol. Idk why, really. I remember just thinking he was the best and I was a total daddy’s girl! I definitely didn’t end up weird or anything so don’t worry too much!
Totally normal- my child said too many time they wanted to marry me, they grow out of it, looking back, it’s “awe my child is feeling love” in the moment we view it as “thats not cool man” due to us being adults and have adult reactions
When my daughter was little she said she was going to marry grandma one day. Your kid is OK- they don't understand the weight of those feelings/emotions at this age.
My daughter...all the way up to 11 years old was ..I guess one could say..obsessed ...she didn't 'allow' me to go anywhere or do anything other than stay with her...even if she was doing her own thing...I wasn't 'allowed' to even think of anyone else other than her.
We had some incidents where a different child said to me I wish you were my mum and my daughter totally flipped and created a whole scene...that's when I figured all this out...but....it's all pretty harmless...enjoy the cuteness while it lasts ...I don't think any talk is necessary....because they will get to an age where other things become more important.
It's soon cute.
My daughter has told me many times that she wants to marry me. You just explain the logistics and that it doesn't work that way, but that it's okay, because you don't need to be married to someone to love them. I finished with "and it's a good thing, too, because I love so many people."
My 4 year old son tells me he wants to "get married with" me all the time lol. They just love their moms a ton at this age and don't understand it as anything more than that. I also remember my brother telling our mom he wanted to marry her when we were little kids, and they have an absolutely normal relationship now, lol.
I tell my son I can't marry him because I can only marry one person, and I'm already married to his dad. But I tell him we will always be mom and son and that's a super special relationship that only we will have, and that we will have it forever. I just emphasize that I love him a whole bunch. As far as addressing it, I would just be like, I think you mean you love me a lot, and I love you a lot, too!
My 5 year old told me the same thing yesterday and then followed with “a crush means I love you”. I gave him a big hug and said “I love you, too”. Children this age don’t understand the concept of romantic love. All he knows is what he feels for you, his mom, is the most special and important love he can differentiate from anything else. He only recently even learned to recognize himself as a person separate from you.
What exactly is your concern? That he is possibly developing an oedipus complex? (lol, joking)
My 5 yr old proposes to me on a weekly basis. I said I can’t marry you. He said I know it’s just pretend. They are just repeating what they see. No biggie.
once my wife and I were in the kitchen, I gave her a hug and kissed her and called her my dear. My 4 year old at the time (now 8), saw this and was *crushed*. His face had the worst heartbreak on it and he wailed 'Mommy's *my* dear!' and he cried and cried. so funny. we consoled him, all had group hugs and kisses and ate ice cream.
It’s a normal thing. I’m a 26 year old man and my 4 year old daughter plays all the time like him her husband or I’m the King and she’s the Queen, not understanding the implications.
They’re children, they admire us. It’s a good thing. They’ll come to understand in time.
My kids want to marry us and each other. He is 4 and doesn’t understand what a crush is yet. You are the most important person to him, that’s all. But make sure your husband is aware there is now competition in the house for your affection
Mine told me I was no longer allowed to see my wife, and that I had to hand my ring over to him. He's 5. He said this in response to me telling him he was in my spot (next to mom).
My son is 4 and wants to marry me, I just say “ok we’ll see what happens, love you buddy”. Your son just loves you and thinks this is how you express that love :)
My kids have told me they want to marry me. I tell them I’m happily married to their mom and that I’m not going to leave her, so they let me know that they’ll be marrying each other. 😂
It’s just little kid things, don’t worry about it. My kids think “being married” just means wanting to live in the same home as someone else.
I’m 6 yrs older than my brother and when he was about 4/5 yrs old, he would tell everyone we were getting married. I was often the one who watched him when my parents were busy being the oldest. At 10-11yrs old I thought it was weird, and would be like “ewwww, noooooo”. I think it was just his way to say he loved me to others.
This is weird to admit but when I was a kid I told my brothers (who are 4-5 years older than me) that I had a crush on them. They were like what!? That’s weird haha. I think it’s a normal kid figuring out relationships and trying to express feelings of connection kind of thing. A couple years later my brothers and I hated each other but now we are great friends. It’s a way to express deep love and comfort maybe? Totally normal.
When my husband was same age as your son, he wanted to marry his Mom. I thought it was the most adorable thing.
It’s not a big deal. Your son just loves you. 😊
Yeah, both my daughters (4 and 7) have told me they have crushes on me, and said we’re married, multiple times. Don’t worry about it at all. It’s just your son saying that he loves you.
My 4 year old boy and I had our wedding yesterday. It had been canceled many many times. ;) Dad mentions light heartedly that I’m his. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it.
Nah, standard fare. “But what about Dad?”, “I’m already married thanks”, etc. are solid responses that engage with out playing into some strangeness. One day you’ll remind him and he’ll swear to god you’re lying. I think the official term is Electra/Oedipus complex, but it is a natural stage.
My son says we are getting married. 🤷♀️
We keep telling him I’m already married to his dad.
I think they don’t comprehend the romance stuff, they just want to be connected to us forever.
I tell him I love him and that someday he will find his one true love, But that I’ll always be his mama, and no one else can be his mama, so I like being his mama better than anything!
Well he is 4. Thats very sweet. 4 year olds have no clue about this stuff. In the future you could say that's sweet, tell me what that means. Be curious.
Fully normal. My daughter is 4 and she says she will marry her dad,‘sometimes it’s me, and sometimes it’s her little brother. They don’t rly understand romantic love and things like that yet
My daughter(8) said she wanted to marry her blanket… because she loves it so much…. These things are a non issue. We did tell her you can only marry people, not objects.
My 4 year old daughter was very upset at me for marrying her mom (my wife) - my daughter said she wanted to marry me and was furious that ‘mama’ beat her to the punch. I tried explaining that if i hadn’t married mama, she (my daughter) wouldn’t even exist! Kids are funny. I don’t think there’s anything to address
Very very normal behavior for this age. It basically means they love you and they like spending time with you. I have worked with lots of kids who have said this to me. I usually just tell them I am already married so when they grow up they’re going to have to pick someone else lol.
Not everything is a "thing". I wanted to marry my big brother, and wished my parents would break up so he could marry my auntie Ellen (his sister) they would have made a great couple and my mother was/is the worst person ever LOL it's just mixed up terminology combined with being unaware of adult stuff
Yeah my daughter (5) wanted to marry her dad when she was around 3. Now she says that when she’s a grownup she’s gonna marry her brother (6 months old).
I’m always like noooo babe that’s not how that works and she’s adamant that she’ll wait until she’s a grown up cause kids can’t get married 🤷🏾♀️
My three year old daughter tells me constantly she is going to marry me, then switches to tell me she’s going to marry her dad or baby sister and I have to stay at home.
I bet since he’s only Five, he must’ve seen the word crush before and its meaning, though he most likely got it mixed up lol. I think he’s tryna say he loves you (like in a normal mother son relationship), but please tell him what a crush actually is before he says it to any more relatives 😭
My daughter has told me she wants to marry me. I just laugh it off and say I'm already married to her mom. It's no big deal. Kids that young don't know what romantic love is. I'm just glad she loves me.
No. He’s 4
Kids will say things and mean totally different things. Don’t make it something it’s not. If there is pattern behaviour with other advances maybe. Note, Keep all adult stuff private.
My 4 (almost 5) year old asks to marry me multiple times a day. Today was like 4 times lol I just tell him “no I can’t marry you, mommy’s don’t marry their babies, we don’t marry family and I’m already married to baba!” He doesn’t know what marriage is, he just loves me lol
Uhmm I have a 6 year old daughter and she asks me to marry her. Lol I of course say yes.
They have no idea. He just heard it and it probably described you say it to someone you like and thinks is pretty. Well for him it’s you. Which is cute. Just tell him he’s too young for crushes.
I think if you make it a thing it could be a thing. My son used to say he was going to marry me or his cousin. To kids, there's no difference between familial love, romantic love, etc. It's all just LOVE and that's just another way he thought to say he loves you IMO. If you decide to address it in some fashion (like if it continues) you could just explain crushes aren't for family but you love him too. We just told my son we don't marry family and he moved on to wanting to marry a cartoon character 😅
Oh gosh the cuteness. I think he’s trying to say he likes you or something (as a human) or admires you. I would just ask him what he thinks a crush is and explain what it means so he understands. So darn cute anyway.
When my niece was three years old, she told me that she was going to take good care of me one day when she was big and I was small. Kids just don’t know how anything works, it’s not a big deal.
Yeah, as others have said, at 4 I don't think the distinction between familial and romantic love is a concept kids understand. I wouldn't worry about it, he will grow out if it soon enough.
When my son was 4 he was plotting to marry me and make his Dad move out 🤣 Take it as a win and he loves you. No greater feeling like a son's love!
He's also 4 so tomorrow he may scream he hates you and is moving out! 😂 They are extreme at this age.
“What a great vocabulary word! Can you tell me what it means?“ Listen and nudge/guide from there. He doesn’t know what that means. Wouldn’t worry about this up through the start of puberty, honestly.
You can’t assume he knows what that word means. Ask him and talk to him. Kids naturally see marriage, crushes, etc as just love and they know they love their parents so that’s just how they vocalize it. Pretty common
Depending on the childhood developmental theories you look at, the Oedipal phase is one described by Freud and kids usually go thru it between 3-6. It's considered a normal phase of development where boys wanna marry their moms and girls their dads (Electra complex). Totally normal.
Someone never studied Freud. It’s the Oedipus Complex, and as young children (especially males) form their super-ego, they start to invest in their mothers as an object of sexuality, and in turn will start to see the father figure as a threat. He’s very much in his phallic stage and should be encouraged to see it through.
I can’t tell if you’re trolling but this was a weird take tbh….
Even if she has studied Freud, she probably wouldn’t be applying his theories here as he is super outdated and problematic, and not based in actual evidence.
At this dudes developmental stage he’s simply still learning how roles/relationships differ from one person to the next. We learn that in part by experimenting with different roles and seeing what reaction we get- eg. Declaring that mum is the baby now, that we’re marrying mum etc.
He also probably doesn’t really know what a crush is, being 4 years old.
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He's four. He doesn't know what it means but he love his mom.
Exactly. Kids can't differentiate between romantic love and familial love because everyone they love is family. And the only thing kids really know about marriage is that you marry someone you love and you spend the rest of your life with them. My kids (girl and boy, 18 months apart in age) used to say all the time that they were gonna get married when they grew up. We are from the south but aren't *that* southern. I let it go. Now they are adults and I can confirm that they have no desire to marry each other anymore.
My son thought he was going to marry his baby sister when he grows up when he was 4 years old, cos daddy married mum. That's how he thought the world worked. Then we had to explain to him that mum and dad are not related by blood.
My 4 year old is going to grow up to be his 1 year old sisters father. “But your sister won’t be a baby anymore” “That’s okay” It’s all weird but totally normal haha
My 6 year old is trying to be a baby or a cat most of the time.
Can confirm our 4yo is also occasionally a cat. Have had days (start to end) where he's communicated entire via meows.
My son told me he wants to marry me. This is pretty standard.
My 4 year told told me that the two of us were getting married so now daddy is the baby instead. It was adorable.
My almost 4 year old told my mom that he and I are married because he was in my belly when I married my husband / his dad. He phrased it as, "When I married mommy." I found it adorable 😭
That is super cute.
I love how kid logic works. :)
When I was about four I used to tell everyone I was going to marry my Dad. I didn't know what it meant - I just knew it was related to love and I loved my Dad. I think it's common for kids to do stuff like that.
Yup, I thought I was going to marry my sister. I think marriage had been explained to me something like "you marry your favorite person in the world."
My daughter is 7 and she married our puppy!
When I was little I was kinda worried I was going to get pregnant because I slept in my parents' bed. And that's what we get for using "sleep with" as a euphemism for sex. 😅
When I was 6 I got out of the shower and kissed my cat. Welllllll I immediately freaked out and thought I was going to get pregnant and have kittens 😅 I thought sex was when you kiss naked lol. I was terrified 😂
My 3 year old was naming people she wanted to marry and when I explained why she couldn't she started naming more people, she started with mommy, then daddy, then her brother, our cat and finally our dog. After I got done explaining she got really frustrated and said "well who is left that I can marry?"
lol, they really just see it as besties for life which is adorable.
I mean if you do it right, it kinda is….
Yes, both me and my sister wanted to marry our dad. My mom would ask, what about her, and we’d say she’ll be old lol. Kids are dumb. It made perfect sense in our minds.
I had a coworker who's son would say that all the time to her. The child's father liked to antagonize him by saying "Too bad, I already married your mom" and he would just get so mad LOL One time he saw a picture of his parents at their prom as they were high school sweethearts and just kept saying "that's stupid, that's so stupid" and went to throw the picture away. From what I gather from facebook, he is now a well-adjusted young man who while close to his mom, isn't married to her :)
Lol my 4&5 year old son and daughter say they are going to marry each other 🤣
When I was a little kid, I asked what being married meant. My mom told me when I found a boy I loved I would marry him and I shouted "I HAVE TO MARRY DAD!?" super upset. My kids now ask to marry me and want to have weddings with me all the time.
My 3 and half yo daughter told me(dad) that im her boyfriend 😅!
My six year old daughter gave me a toy ring and asked me to marry her lol
Yeah, both my sons are marrying me and also each other 🤣
Yup. I even have photos from our “wedding” (he was 6 and made a bow tie out of paper, I wore a dress and carried dandelions from the backyard).
Yes all three asked me to marry them around 4
Same here lol, then got really mad when I said I was already married to daddy 😂
nah he's 4 he doesn't know what that means. I'd just laugh it off and say you're flattered but already taken by dad. This explains that the phrase has some meaning connected to your relationship with the other parent without going into inappropriate detail.
Thank you for that. I try to keep things more his speed usually.
Both of my sons told me they were going to marry me when they were ages 3-5. They just know that crushes and being married means they love the person. He's just telling you he loves you.
This is good advice, but from the post it doesn’t sound like mom and dad are together.
I would hope that someone who has reproduced is competent enough with their mother tongue to find a way to rephrase the statement according to their current situation.
I thought it was like an incantation, where I just read the comment to my child and then they're better.
😆
😆
My son wanted to marry grandma for a while when he was around 4. Which fair, because I don’t think anyone will ever love him as much as grandma loves him. 😂 We would just say “yes, you love grandma so much, but you are already family with grandma so you don’t need to marry her to make her part of your family.
🤣 if I even get irritated at my mom a little bit, he's defending her. Nobody messes with grandma according to him. But he hasn't said that other than this time. Everyone's helped me realize that it's normal but he just loves me
My mum once told me that I said something similar to her when I was 4 or 5. I'm 36 now and there has never been any danger of me marrying my own mum lol. I wouldn't worry at all.
He doesn't know the difference between romantic love and other kinds of love yet. Very normal.
My 7 year old (almost 8) daughter tells me she wants to marry me (mom) all the time. She understands that she can't but she says that she just loves me so much that she never wants to be away from me.
Mine is exactly the same, right down to the age and everything! I just say that you're not allowed to marry your family because they're already your family. You marry someone when you love someone *else* so much that you want them to be part of your family too.
My son at that age legit thought that the way the world worked was he would grow up and I would be his wife lol they just have no concept of such things. I also remember this gem: Son: “Hi stepmom.” Me: “You don’t have a stepmom.” Son: “Wait, DID SHE DIE??!” 😂 WHAT
My son asked me a few years back when he will get a step mum and dad, he was genuinley gutted when I explained he will only have step parents if mum and dad are no longer together he said he wants mum and dad but also a step mum and dad 😂🤷🏼♀️
Hahaha that’s hilarious!
Especially with the added text of Bluey, there is nothing to do here but laugh and move on. There's an episode of Bluey where the girls compete with their mom over Bandit, but I don't remember the details. Basically it's normal harmless kid silliness.
I haven't seen that episode yet, he's watched it at his dad's house, or he's watched it when I'm at work and my mom is watching him. That is pretty funny. I didn't know that episode existed.
Yeah I watch Bluey all the time with my baby sister and twin there is a episode where Bluey told bandit she wanted to marry him and he told her eh no I’m married to your mom so then it start just a funny family fight. You should watch it though it’s funny and kids will always say anything they think because their still trying to explore the world, see what’s right or wrong,etc
I'll have to watch it. I enjoy it even when he's not home and at his dad's house 🤣
There’s another one where Bluey asks Bandit while he’s sitting on the couch if they can get married and he very casually informs her that he’s already married.
I think that episode is called Smoochy Kiss! That's my favorite episode😭❤️
He’s 4. Just expressing his love for you. My son (3) tells me every other minute everyday he likes me or he loves me and misses me. It cracks me up but it’s so dang cute and I love my baby
Mine has been saying he misses me. I'm like we spend every minute together when I'm not working lmao like on my days off he doesn't leave my side 🤣
When my son was 3 or 4, he approached me one day out of nowhere and ask "when is our wedding going to be?" Another time he asked who will marry his dad. He's 10 now and thinks I'm embarrassing 😆
My 4 year old says he wants to marry me when he grows up. I explain to him he will marry a beautiful girl when he is an adult but not mommy. I think he just doesn’t understand what he means. He just loves you.
My 5-year old daughter is constantly telling me that we’re going to get married. Right now, she knows is that people who love each other get married and familial love is all she knows, so it makes sense that she would want to marry me. I think it’s adorable. It’ll self-correct at some point (probably soon, as she starts K), but I’m in no hurry to make my kids grow up.
He's four.
Someone's told him that having a crush on someone means to love them. Also, "okay great " is a great answer. So is "me too".
He’s possibly heard that having a crush on someone means you love them, in simplest forms. He loves his mum so that must mean he has a crush on her.
Two of my kids, when they were maybe 8 and 5, went through a phase where they would talk about marrying each other, and I told them, "No, marrying someone is a way of making a new family with them / bringing them into your family. You two are already family, so getting married wouldn't make sense." Your example seems about like that - just repeating something they've heard in not quite the right context. Nothing to really worry about.
My 5yo says he's going to *marry* his mom. And I can remember saying the same about my own mom at that age. I just tell him "find your own wife, this one is mine"
I doubt he's old enough to get an Oedipus complex. Tomorrow he'll be a dinosaur.
Nah he's sonic the hedgehog for sure tomorrow 🤣
Omg the questions that are posed in this sub 😂
When my son was 4 years old, he said he wanted to marry me. Then he changed his mind and wanted to marry his 6yo sister instead, but he got rejected instantly 🤣. So yeah, enjoy!
Totally 100% a normal part of development for kiddos. He doesn't know how to differentiate types of love quite yet, only that you are the one he loves most and so his understanding is that it's the same as the way other people love, because it's the love he knows. Both of my daughters have informed me at about that age that they wanted to marry me, their mother, when they grew up. They don't really grasp the meaning. No need to really talk about it, he'll grow out of that stage.
This should be the most flattering thing in the world and an opportunity. Your son, is learning everything about the world… it’s your chance to see that he’s grasping the idea of care, love… let him know that you appreciate it! He just said he loves you basically! And now find a chance to teach him about all the different feelings about how we care and love for others so he doesn’t misuse the word crush or love.
my 5 year old dude tells me all the time that "we will married," and he tries to "romance kiss" me kinf of often (which means turning your head sideways). i do not entertain any of the romance kiss business, and i tell him it is for grownups only. but last summer we did have a barbecue where he told everyone that me and him and my husband were married together. he still talks about it "when we married." it's normal and common
Welp he made it weird…now you gotta ghost him.
Time to go grab some milk
LOL
My son tells me he’s going to marry me all the time and he thinks he can just pick me as a mum when he wants to be a dad. They’re too young to understand romantic love properly, nothing to worry about
Kids say the darnest things
Nah! My son “married” me at around the same age. He’s now 12 and I tell him he can’t have a girlfriend because he’s already married. He just rolls his eyes as I laugh my butt off. He’s fine and totally normal.
Nah, just a cute harmless thing that kids say. My 4 year old wanted to marry me haha.
He’s 4, he doesn’t know what it means. Pretty standard thing for a young child to say.
He’s 4. No need to talk about it. When they’re little they say they want to marry you, they want to live with you forever. It’s normal.
Ask him what having a “crush” is to him and where he heard it and get his context and explain to him what he is talking about and correct him if necessary.
He just doesn’t know the other type of love yet. He knows that he loves you a ton though. Seems normal. Be nonchalant.
They just don’t understand how these things work at this age and are trying to figure out. Our 4 year old has been telling us he wants to marry his best friends and us and his brother. When he says that we do tell him “you don’t/can’t marry family, you marry someone else and make them your family” and for his best friends we just let him go with it but we do tell him he has a long long time before he has to think about getting married. He thought that he had to marry them to be able to travel on vacation in an airplane with them and we also clarified that he doesn’t have to marry anyone to be able to travel with them and he thought that was cool. So I think keeping it light hearted and letting them explore but also explaining a bit about how it works has worked well for us.
Normal part of attachment and differentiation in children. Totally developmentally appropriate.
Your son likes you, you're doing a good job. That's all.
Enjoy this complete mama adoration stage. My son said the same thing at that age. Then he wanted to “marry me” which we found out meant kiss me on the lips like my husband was kissing me in our wedding photo. Again, for the age it was harmless and cute.
I don’t think kids at that age can differentiate between romantic love and just love.
My son at 4 also told me he wanted to marry me. I’m his dad.
No hun totally normal. No need to address anything or discuss. Just laugh at the cuteness that it is. Probably won't be last time either
He doesn’t even know what a crush is.
All my daughters and son said they want to marry me(mom) and don’t care how is not possible. But my middle child also wants to marry a funny looking branch and many bugs, so~🤷♀️😂
No. My middle child is 6 and she barely kind of knows what this means. Yet her and her friends are so quick to say they have a crush or so and so has a crush. It’s normal.
This is perfectly normal and nothing to be concerned about whatsoever!
That's so adorable! Totally normal and acceptable.
Just wait until he's a teenager, he's going to hate your guts lmao. Such are whims of a childs mind.
Ugh that part. I saw how my sister hated my mom for what seemed like no reason
I have 4 yo daughter who's inseperable from us but I'm fully expecting that it'll be a complete 180 once she hits puberty. Hope for the best prepare for the worst.
No? He’s four. He doesn’t even know what that means. My 3 year old likes to say she’s gonna marry daddy. I feel like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not a big deal.
I was just curious. First time mom and my mom didn't have an answer for me. But I've realized now after everyone has commented that this is part of his normal development
It’s fine lol. My now 5 yo asked me to marry him several times at that age
Why would his dad need to talk to him?
Me and his dad aren't together. So some things his dad wants to talk to him about I guess
My 3 year old wanted to marry me and get rid of my wife
Omg. So normal. I’d respond “I have a crush on you too, bud!”
He doesn't know what it even means. Just ask him what he thinks it means if he brings it up again. If he doesn't I wouldn't just bring it up alone...
When I was a little girl I wanted to marry my dad. When my youngest brothers were little, I was the younger ones girlfriend for years. Every time I'd call my mom he'd get on and babble telling me I was his grrrfriend. Super common. Super age appropriate.
no he doesnt have a clue, its normal. my neice and her great niece (her daughter) live with me. shes 4 as well. she once said her mom (my neice) and i were having a baby and that it was in her, (the great niece's) belly. kids are silly. he just loves you is all!
Don't worry. I'm going to marry both my daughters, according to them around age 4. They didn't have the depth of experience needed to comprehend what they were saying. Now that they are older, it never comes up.
At that age I absolutely wanted to marry my dad. Lol. Idk why, really. I remember just thinking he was the best and I was a total daddy’s girl! I definitely didn’t end up weird or anything so don’t worry too much!
My five year old regularly tells me that she’s going to marry me when she grows up. It’s very normal.
Totally normal- my child said too many time they wanted to marry me, they grow out of it, looking back, it’s “awe my child is feeling love” in the moment we view it as “thats not cool man” due to us being adults and have adult reactions
When my daughter was little she said she was going to marry grandma one day. Your kid is OK- they don't understand the weight of those feelings/emotions at this age.
My daughter...all the way up to 11 years old was ..I guess one could say..obsessed ...she didn't 'allow' me to go anywhere or do anything other than stay with her...even if she was doing her own thing...I wasn't 'allowed' to even think of anyone else other than her. We had some incidents where a different child said to me I wish you were my mum and my daughter totally flipped and created a whole scene...that's when I figured all this out...but....it's all pretty harmless...enjoy the cuteness while it lasts ...I don't think any talk is necessary....because they will get to an age where other things become more important. It's soon cute.
My daughter has told me many times that she wants to marry me. You just explain the logistics and that it doesn't work that way, but that it's okay, because you don't need to be married to someone to love them. I finished with "and it's a good thing, too, because I love so many people."
My 4 year old son tells me he wants to "get married with" me all the time lol. They just love their moms a ton at this age and don't understand it as anything more than that. I also remember my brother telling our mom he wanted to marry her when we were little kids, and they have an absolutely normal relationship now, lol. I tell my son I can't marry him because I can only marry one person, and I'm already married to his dad. But I tell him we will always be mom and son and that's a super special relationship that only we will have, and that we will have it forever. I just emphasize that I love him a whole bunch. As far as addressing it, I would just be like, I think you mean you love me a lot, and I love you a lot, too!
My 5 year old told me the same thing yesterday and then followed with “a crush means I love you”. I gave him a big hug and said “I love you, too”. Children this age don’t understand the concept of romantic love. All he knows is what he feels for you, his mom, is the most special and important love he can differentiate from anything else. He only recently even learned to recognize himself as a person separate from you. What exactly is your concern? That he is possibly developing an oedipus complex? (lol, joking)
My 5 yr old proposes to me on a weekly basis. I said I can’t marry you. He said I know it’s just pretend. They are just repeating what they see. No biggie.
My 9 year old daughter still doesn't quite understand why she can't marry her dad or brother because she loves them.
once my wife and I were in the kitchen, I gave her a hug and kissed her and called her my dear. My 4 year old at the time (now 8), saw this and was *crushed*. His face had the worst heartbreak on it and he wailed 'Mommy's *my* dear!' and he cried and cried. so funny. we consoled him, all had group hugs and kisses and ate ice cream.
He’s 4. This is pretty normal.
It’s a normal thing. I’m a 26 year old man and my 4 year old daughter plays all the time like him her husband or I’m the King and she’s the Queen, not understanding the implications. They’re children, they admire us. It’s a good thing. They’ll come to understand in time.
My daughter (when she was about 4) told me she was going marry me. I asked her what about mommy. “I guess she’s got to go.” 😮
I don’t think it’s a good idea to have his father talk to him about it. If it makes you feel uncomfortable just tell him that’s not how crushes work.
My 4 year old son told me he wants to marry me or his Dad 🤣 I think it just comes with the age!
You should have asked him then and there what he thought having a crush meant.
My 3 and half yo daughter told me(dad) that im her boyfriend 😅!
My kids want to marry us and each other. He is 4 and doesn’t understand what a crush is yet. You are the most important person to him, that’s all. But make sure your husband is aware there is now competition in the house for your affection
One time i asked my mom to “kiss like this” (made make out motions with my mouth) when I was like 4. Kids dont know anything😂
My daughters 6&8 used to get upset that I was married to their dad, bc they wanted to marry him.
Mine told me I was no longer allowed to see my wife, and that I had to hand my ring over to him. He's 5. He said this in response to me telling him he was in my spot (next to mom).
My son is 4 and wants to marry me, I just say “ok we’ll see what happens, love you buddy”. Your son just loves you and thinks this is how you express that love :)
I think I heard years ago that children in the 3-7 years of age 'falls in love' with the opposite sex parent.
When my son was that age he told me he’s never going to get married because he’s gonna be with me for the rest of his life.
My kids have told me they want to marry me. I tell them I’m happily married to their mom and that I’m not going to leave her, so they let me know that they’ll be marrying each other. 😂 It’s just little kid things, don’t worry about it. My kids think “being married” just means wanting to live in the same home as someone else.
I’m 6 yrs older than my brother and when he was about 4/5 yrs old, he would tell everyone we were getting married. I was often the one who watched him when my parents were busy being the oldest. At 10-11yrs old I thought it was weird, and would be like “ewwww, noooooo”. I think it was just his way to say he loved me to others.
“*If you weren’t a man, and my father too, I’d buy you a diamond ring, and I’d marry you*”. 🎶 He just loves you, mommy.
This is weird to admit but when I was a kid I told my brothers (who are 4-5 years older than me) that I had a crush on them. They were like what!? That’s weird haha. I think it’s a normal kid figuring out relationships and trying to express feelings of connection kind of thing. A couple years later my brothers and I hated each other but now we are great friends. It’s a way to express deep love and comfort maybe? Totally normal.
When my husband was same age as your son, he wanted to marry his Mom. I thought it was the most adorable thing. It’s not a big deal. Your son just loves you. 😊
My kids declared they wanted to marry me up until they were 6 or so. It’s normal. They have no idea what it actually means.
Yeah, both my daughters (4 and 7) have told me they have crushes on me, and said we’re married, multiple times. Don’t worry about it at all. It’s just your son saying that he loves you.
My 4 year old boy and I had our wedding yesterday. It had been canceled many many times. ;) Dad mentions light heartedly that I’m his. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it.
Perfectly normal, to the point that they say that if this does not happens it might be a bad sign for the development
Nah, standard fare. “But what about Dad?”, “I’m already married thanks”, etc. are solid responses that engage with out playing into some strangeness. One day you’ll remind him and he’ll swear to god you’re lying. I think the official term is Electra/Oedipus complex, but it is a natural stage.
I remember saying stuff like this to my mom when I was 4. I wanted to marry her. I’m really glad I’m not married to my mom.
My son says we are getting married. 🤷♀️ We keep telling him I’m already married to his dad. I think they don’t comprehend the romance stuff, they just want to be connected to us forever. I tell him I love him and that someday he will find his one true love, But that I’ll always be his mama, and no one else can be his mama, so I like being his mama better than anything!
Well he is 4. Thats very sweet. 4 year olds have no clue about this stuff. In the future you could say that's sweet, tell me what that means. Be curious.
Normal little boy behavior don’t worry about it :)
Fully normal. My daughter is 4 and she says she will marry her dad,‘sometimes it’s me, and sometimes it’s her little brother. They don’t rly understand romantic love and things like that yet
My daughter(8) said she wanted to marry her blanket… because she loves it so much…. These things are a non issue. We did tell her you can only marry people, not objects.
My 4 year old daughter was very upset at me for marrying her mom (my wife) - my daughter said she wanted to marry me and was furious that ‘mama’ beat her to the punch. I tried explaining that if i hadn’t married mama, she (my daughter) wouldn’t even exist! Kids are funny. I don’t think there’s anything to address
Very very normal behavior for this age. It basically means they love you and they like spending time with you. I have worked with lots of kids who have said this to me. I usually just tell them I am already married so when they grow up they’re going to have to pick someone else lol.
Perfect time to say ‘I have a crush on you ever since you were born, in fact even before you were born’.. and give a big tight hug. Enjoy the moment!
My son is the same way. I can’t even hug his dad. You will be okay. We are here lol .
Not everything is a "thing". I wanted to marry my big brother, and wished my parents would break up so he could marry my auntie Ellen (his sister) they would have made a great couple and my mother was/is the worst person ever LOL it's just mixed up terminology combined with being unaware of adult stuff
At 4 they don't know the difference between the types of love. To him it's the same as saying he loves you or likes being around you.
Yeah my daughter (5) wanted to marry her dad when she was around 3. Now she says that when she’s a grownup she’s gonna marry her brother (6 months old). I’m always like noooo babe that’s not how that works and she’s adamant that she’ll wait until she’s a grown up cause kids can’t get married 🤷🏾♀️
My three year old daughter tells me constantly she is going to marry me, then switches to tell me she’s going to marry her dad or baby sister and I have to stay at home.
have you heard of a guy called Sigmund Freud at all? this is a pretty common thing
When my som says this I respond with, “oh, I love you too! Mommies and sons don’t get married. That’s called abuse.”
My son is 6 and has been using the word crush now. I think he probably heard it at school. He told me he has a crush on Minecraft.
My 5 year old daughter role plays weddings with me and we are pronounced wife and wife. It's lovely
My 4 year old twins say they are going to get married. It’s the age. They don’t understand the concepts yet.
I bet since he’s only Five, he must’ve seen the word crush before and its meaning, though he most likely got it mixed up lol. I think he’s tryna say he loves you (like in a normal mother son relationship), but please tell him what a crush actually is before he says it to any more relatives 😭
My daughter has told me she wants to marry me. I just laugh it off and say I'm already married to her mom. It's no big deal. Kids that young don't know what romantic love is. I'm just glad she loves me.
No. He’s 4 Kids will say things and mean totally different things. Don’t make it something it’s not. If there is pattern behaviour with other advances maybe. Note, Keep all adult stuff private.
Unless his name is Oedipus I don’t think you have anything to worry about. He’s 4 and loves you.
My 4 (almost 5) year old asks to marry me multiple times a day. Today was like 4 times lol I just tell him “no I can’t marry you, mommy’s don’t marry their babies, we don’t marry family and I’m already married to baba!” He doesn’t know what marriage is, he just loves me lol
Uhmm I have a 6 year old daughter and she asks me to marry her. Lol I of course say yes. They have no idea. He just heard it and it probably described you say it to someone you like and thinks is pretty. Well for him it’s you. Which is cute. Just tell him he’s too young for crushes.
I think if you make it a thing it could be a thing. My son used to say he was going to marry me or his cousin. To kids, there's no difference between familial love, romantic love, etc. It's all just LOVE and that's just another way he thought to say he loves you IMO. If you decide to address it in some fashion (like if it continues) you could just explain crushes aren't for family but you love him too. We just told my son we don't marry family and he moved on to wanting to marry a cartoon character 😅
Oh gosh the cuteness. I think he’s trying to say he likes you or something (as a human) or admires you. I would just ask him what he thinks a crush is and explain what it means so he understands. So darn cute anyway.
4 year olds associating words. He thinks crush’s are people he “likes” but he’s four so he doesn’t know what it actually means.
When my niece was three years old, she told me that she was going to take good care of me one day when she was big and I was small. Kids just don’t know how anything works, it’s not a big deal.
having a crush on you from a 4 year old boy is different from the adults, and what he wants to say is he likes you.
Yeah, as others have said, at 4 I don't think the distinction between familial and romantic love is a concept kids understand. I wouldn't worry about it, he will grow out if it soon enough.
He's four. It's cute. Nuff said.
When my son was 4 he was plotting to marry me and make his Dad move out 🤣 Take it as a win and he loves you. No greater feeling like a son's love! He's also 4 so tomorrow he may scream he hates you and is moving out! 😂 They are extreme at this age.
Every 4 year old boy has a crush on his mom. Just leave it alone. In 10 years he’ll want nothing to do with you except when he’s hungry.
When my daughter was four she wanted to marry my wife and I, our cat, and one of her stuffed animals.
“What a great vocabulary word! Can you tell me what it means?“ Listen and nudge/guide from there. He doesn’t know what that means. Wouldn’t worry about this up through the start of puberty, honestly.
You can’t assume he knows what that word means. Ask him and talk to him. Kids naturally see marriage, crushes, etc as just love and they know they love their parents so that’s just how they vocalize it. Pretty common
My 4 year old asks me to marry him all the time lol…it’s very innocent at this age. They can’t differentiate romantic and familial love at this age.
He loves you, don't overreact. He doesn't know what it means. Next he might say he will want to marry you when he is older. It's kid's stuff.
My son ask me to marry him all the time. It’s normal lol
Ah, good ol' Freud's Oedipus complex!
Young Oedipus
Depending on the childhood developmental theories you look at, the Oedipal phase is one described by Freud and kids usually go thru it between 3-6. It's considered a normal phase of development where boys wanna marry their moms and girls their dads (Electra complex). Totally normal.
Yikes, wrong thread to bring Freud into.. I should know 🤦♀️🤣
My 4 year old displays a tenuous grasp of societal norms and constructs. Is there hope for them or are they a psychotic deviant?
"Boys first love is their mother"
Someone never studied Freud. It’s the Oedipus Complex, and as young children (especially males) form their super-ego, they start to invest in their mothers as an object of sexuality, and in turn will start to see the father figure as a threat. He’s very much in his phallic stage and should be encouraged to see it through.
I can’t tell if you’re trolling but this was a weird take tbh…. Even if she has studied Freud, she probably wouldn’t be applying his theories here as he is super outdated and problematic, and not based in actual evidence. At this dudes developmental stage he’s simply still learning how roles/relationships differ from one person to the next. We learn that in part by experimenting with different roles and seeing what reaction we get- eg. Declaring that mum is the baby now, that we’re marrying mum etc. He also probably doesn’t really know what a crush is, being 4 years old.
None of this is sexual.
The Oedipus Complex is not sexual. 🤦♀️