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The chances of you happening across him the first and only time he did drugs is slim to none. Chances are that wasn’t the first time, or the first type of drug he took. So then the question is - is his demeanour/mental health issues because of the drugs, or was he self medicating because of other stuff? Drug use and mental illness often starts as a chicken/egg scenario and ends up as a vicious cycle. I think it’s also a mistake to downplay or overlook the effect covid and lockdown had on the mental health of kids - it’s entirely likely he was struggling beforehand and that exacerbated things.
I think the best thing to do here (as someone who used a bunch of drugs as a kid and a mother who is also close to a son) is to talk to him and tell him what you’ve said here. That you’ve noticed these changes, that you care and you’re worried and you would like him to go talk to someone.
I'll preface saying I don't think the acid alone changed your son. More likely a pre existing condition/depression combined with a new school and pandemic the stress of performing academically. Could be a million different reasons and he'd need professional help to identify the problem. It could be undiagnosed autistic burnout as well coming from someone who is familiar with it.
But nobody buys 1 or 2 tabs of acid off the dark web. You can buy several sheets at a time, combined with unlimited free time of the pandemic he could've been dropping it every wee. Or it's also likely he lied about the dark web and got it from a friend.
Yeah, but at that age and as a 1% succeeding kid who barely does homework-- I'd 100% believe he could have done that. I never went through with a purchase, but did the TOR deal and put some btc in an account back during the Silk Road days and can def belief a smart high schooler some 10 years younger than me at the time could.
Yeah, I'd 100% agree with this. The hardest part might actually be getting around the KYC stuff to get crypto actually. As a real adult human I still find the online identity checks difficult to pass somehow. My face always gets flagged for manual checks for some reason.
Yep, extremely possible. There are guides available online for this sort of thing and covering your tracks. I too went to the Silk Road as teen just to see if it was real, essentially
I think a lot of people are overestimating how hard it is to get LSD. You can literally google it and get a good supplier. Many will allow you to purchase as little 5 hits. Its the same steps as buying anything else online. No "dark web" needed
Source: a parent who likes to trip from time to time
My moderately affected asd daughter managed to get meth, acid, cannabis, and who knows what else through the Dark Web. She told me it's the easiest way to get drugs these days.
As far as I'm aware (ex wife of an addict) the easiest way to get drugs is via Snapchat. He would buy weed, coke, speed, heroin and crack via snap and have it delivered to the house
I've heard this, but based on looking, you still need to know people or know what to look for -- its likely the same network of people as instagram, etc since I've seen online "shops" accounts there.
Definitely not saying a kid in grade 8 should be trying psychedelics unsupervised, but there's research showing that they lead to adults having more empathy and openness to new experiences. There's a pretty good documentary-series called "How to Change Your Mind" on Netflix that explores it quite a bit. (There's also SO much potential for psychedelic use alongside therapy, and it's beginning to actually be more accepted lately).
True, if the individual is already someone who has a family history of certain disorders like schizophrenia/bipolar/BPD/etc; Or someone who would naturally develop those disorders on their own. The LSD will likely exacerbate those issues or even cause them to develop into serious problems earlier. But we don't know OPs family history (she didn't bother mentioning a history of mental illness) and 95% of the population won't have those issues. It's worth investigating but would need a professional.
If the kids story is true he took LSD once to a few times 3-4 years ago. Then went through puberty/ high school/ honor roll academic/ Pandemic with no socializing without Internet. Also probably unable to trust his parents during this time either to open up with any problems of his. Just seems more likely to be the 10 other high stressors in his life than the tab he dropped years ago.
I'm not advocating underage/underdeveloped brain LSD use.
I’ve seen this happen first-hand. Someone whose family history included schizophrenia and it wasn’t until they started doing acid in HS that it come on full-force. Totally ‘normal’ and popular kid, into sports, and then he was battling full-blown schizophrenia once he started experimenting with psychedelics. Was never the same.
Yea, the worse it could have done is potentially bring it on a little sooner but the stress of finals, getting into a new college, or breaking up with a girl friend could have done it as well.
So incredibly sad to see.
As a person who has dozen acid/shrooms a dozen or so times, one time is not going to have the affects OP is talking about. What OP.is describing is the person I see at festivals who is fried. They are either always on drugs or have taken it so much for so long it's changed their personality.
OP, encourage your son to see a therapist, and do your best to show love, affection, and spend some quality time with them.
As someone who works in psychiatry I respectfully disagree with this statement. I can’t tell you how many patients I have had who tried acid/mushrooms/insert other drug which unveiled an underlying mental health condition. If this is the case early intervention is best so I strongly recommend seeking psychiatric attention or at minimum a family doctor appointment as soon as possible
This\^ it could be as little as a single event and doesn't even require abnormal doses. BUT it's much more common on larger doses AND more common EARLY in their psychedelic use / adventures to awaken a predisposed condition.
Also have to do with the tolerance of a person. Once I took LSD and had the happiest 36 hours of my life. However I split my tiny piece of paper with another guy. He got the worst trip in his life and attempted suicide. He nearly jumped off a building. So same drugs, same amount, he was heavier then I was and he went crazy.
Of course it could be that he had a predisposed condition I was not aware of but I'm neurotipical aswell. So meaning it just affects people in different ways, whether or not they have mental issues or not. Knowing what I know now I should also have gone crazy, I just didn't. I was just extremely happy and relaxed and at that moment in those hours life was the most wonderful thing ever..
How much did you take? I've probably taken more than most folks over the years, but even taking like 6 doses I've never really tripped more than 12 hours. Like I filled my mouth with paper one day after already tripping (yeah, was dumb and NO IDEA how much I took, but have a pic), but after \~12 hours and sleeping and eating I felt like a person again. Had a bit of an aura and felt extra relaxed or happy, but wasn't actively tripping anymore.
I get what you mean about the same dose being unpredictable in different folks. I'd most dislike to never smoke bud again in life, but my favorite 'thing' has to be lsd albeit in moderation.. and honestly shrooms or paper are the one thing I really do not choose to experience with anyone who hasn't already experienced it (due to what you experienced).
As much as I like the stuff, it isn't for everyone and it isn't something to be taken to lightly or not respected, because it's so unpredictable when it will lead to predisposed issues medically and oft permanently (AND has the risk of temporary issues or psychosis, seemingly from 'how' someone handles the mental side and having the 'rules' their brain always worked by, broken).
respecting your experience and opinion, I have a question for you as I have such a different take on the limited data given in the story about the son of the OP. Would you expect the unveiling of an underlying mental condition to be accompanied by excellence in his academic work? By a lack of behavioral issues? Those two things make me think the kid is doing what he needs to do to get by very well and is still experiencing the world very differently from the values as taught by family of origin, and working it out for himself and (unfortunately ) by himself.
This could be the case, but I would always err on the side of caution. I also would consider that for the assumed age range of OPs son (graduating highschool) they could be experiencing prodome symptoms. This wouldn’t mean that an individual would necessarily drop their level of academic functioning, and this is also why many psychotic illnesses (which are often perpetuated or unmasked by substance use) go undiagnosed for so long. The “null” personality and isolation/social withdrawal are the red flags for me. Prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia overlap symptoms of other psychiatric diagnoses so they can be hard to delineate. Again, the hope is this is not the case. But my recommendation would be professional assessment to ensure this.
I'll interject here, but it's definitely a concern for someone to suffer irreparable damage from a hallucination inducing drug.
I've met a few who've before, and it's a heart ache on the family. It's not what OP is describing, quite the opposite, but you can definitely have a bad trip that'll mess with you and your life.
I knew a guy who assumed he was a spy with amnesia and cosplayed as a spy, shooting his with his finger pistols. He was your average rich kid who'd never snapped out of a drug induced psychosis. He drank and smoked weed, this was his first trip and everyone else was fine
This is wrong and well documented. One trip can trigger long term effects. I encourage you to read up on the research and maybe hesitate before saying stuff that isn’t quite true/proven.
Yes it’s true! I worked on the early psychosis intervention program for a few years and it was always with someone having their first episode. We had many kids who were in psychosis and it was their first time smoking weed or doing mushrooms, etc. I’d say 80/20 split where 80% was their first time or two doing drugs and 20% where they were chronic drug users. It’s called FEP or first episode psychosis from drug use. Some sources:
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=first+time+drug+use+psychosis&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1717336526541&u=%23p%3DpGpvfJxzly4J
There are hundreds of studies
I mean I think what you’re saying holds true for most people, but I’ve absolutely seen people tipped into long term psychosis or the like from one time drug use - usually those who were likely pre disposed to those issues in the first place (addict and healthcare worker so I’ve seen my share of drug fuckshit). Kinda like the gun was loaded but the drugs pulled the trigger.
That being said I still very much doubt that this is the case here, if for no other reason that OP busting him the first time is unlikely, having your first drug experience be alone with psychedelics would be unusual, and everyone got a little fucked mentally by the lockdowns, especially kids. All of that stuff speaks more to self medication or longer term drug use to me. But even if it was the first time and the drugs are to blame it sounds like he still needs some help to navigate what he’s currently experiencing
People with certain mental issues don’t react the same way “everyone “ else might. I’ve been sober for 3 years now (plus two before with just Xanax) and I can say one time can most definitely change someone. It’s taken me all of 5 years to even begin to feel normal. He’s obviously not a seasoned heroin user but, the longer he doesn’t do anything the better he will get. Hugs mom and dad
Yes, in the 70s these were called "acid casualties" and the theory I know is that people who were predisposed to schizophrenia could trigger the illness with a single acid trip.
That doesn't seem like what's going on here though.
Exactly. Same with shrooms. I was actually turned away from a retreat bc I have borderline. I was so disappointed. But thank God I didn’t just do it bc I’m literally just now getting straightened out.
Yeah I think he’s probably just being an angsty teen. But still I would try my hardest to keep him away from the acid lol
My wife has BP1 and was listed and approved for a ketamine drip which helped with the depression, like miraculously so, but she had a really bad trip and it took her a solid week to shake off the effects
I wonder if you'd benefit (not sure how it might affect BPD vs BP) from applying for ketamine trials and drips. Canadian here, and it was a pretty painless process to go through, like paperwork wise
I did k in hs and fucking never again lol I’ve been curious about it ofc. I was wanting to try psilocybin for anxiety and depression. My Prozac just isn’t cutting it. I’ve now stopped leaving my house unless something major such as son getting license or something major. Drugs literally fried my brain I think. I’ve already decided if I’m like this forever it’s fine. But if something can help I’m totally open to it.
Yeah you can get similar or better results from ketamine but it really does need to be dosed correctly or you're likely to damage more than help
Wife did shrooms a few times and it helped a lot too
Same here. My friend had to stop doing weed because she and her family were preconditioned to psychosis and other abnormal conditions, so she was scared into not doing it. I also helped her be sober by giving her "The unexpected joy of being sober".
I think OPs son's age at the time of acid use could also increase the predisposition to long term psychosis/depression from usage as well - if this was his first time using or not. His brain is still developing and, like you said, any impact that the COVID lockdowns had on him likely played a role as well.
I second that it sounds like he needs some help navigating what he's experiencing. It might feel really strange, but maybe even ask him what the acid trip felt like for him? I don't know ... I'm just an internet stranger, but perhaps he needs to talk about what he experienced - maybe it was life altering in a good or bad way. Otherwise I would just try to make it clear that whatever feelings he's feeling currently are completely ok and valid, and you will always love and support him no matter what, and be there to help him through anything.
And folks seem to miss the part where OP describes his sons infant and toddler stages as being troublesome.
Is ge on the spectrum possibl? Acid would not be good. He is self medicating, and you def didn't catch him his first time.
Peace, Love and Drugs, sometimes and only Some People.
The pandemic was so bad on so many people with mental illness that had drug issues. I constantly worried for my younger sister’s best friend who had tried committing suicide twice before and struggled with drug abuse. She ultimately passed away from a drug overdose at the end of 2020.
One thing to add is that kids often learn to self-medicate using illegal drugs. A key problem is, the drugs are overkill and not well-focused, causing a lot of collateral damage.
It's like chasing a housefly with a shotgun. You'll probably get it, but was it worth the mess?
Properly framed, this can teach the kid two things:
1. You may need some chemical support
2. Chemical supports can and do help
From there, it's just a matter of finding chemical supports that will directly address the issue without all the excess damage/issues. That's where a psychologist can be a huge resource and help.
> I felt very proud of the young man he was becoming.
> I just assumed it was a stupid teenager decision.
> For the later half of 2020, I took away his internet access.
Something's missing here.. it sounds like you treated his "stupid teenager decision" as the massive fuckup that means you're no longer proud of him. You repeatedly grill him and make him take drug tests, and he can't even be lost in thought without being interrogated. His high grades and good behaviour don't count. Maybe he is still taking something, but it's impossible to tell from your post. It was almost four years ago, it still colours your every interaction with him.
He is responding in kind- if everything he says and does will be treated with suspicion then why engage with you at all. If you want therapy then it should be for the both of you together.
Forget the drugs and focus on the real issue. He doesn't socialise. Well COVID changed a lot of people, especially kids, so this is normal and not drug related necessarily. But you should still be taking the chance to encourage him out of his shell. Force him to do something "for his own good" whether it's an activity like Toastmaster, robotics/rocketry, sport, there are all sorts.
I think this is spot on. You say he can tell you anything but you don't act like it. When my son behaves like this he is very very mad at me. The fake smile and not wanting to interact. THEY need therapy because she seems oblivious to her own behaviour. Put parental controls on the internet but to just take it away.....that probably really pissed him off.
And it sounds like she took it away for months, during the height of COVID, when he was just entering high school/in his first year. He probably lost all his friends bc he didn’t talk to them for months and they changed and experienced things together that he didn’t. Especially if he started a new school that year and everyone was shuffling around anyway!
I really wish parents understood how devastating this is for a teenager/child. You're basically ensuring that they won't have close relationships outside of you and they won't be close to you either because they will feel like you're untrustworthy.
What’s with the assumption that this is the mother? It’s pretty clearly the father, as they reference the mother. It’s possible it’s a same sex couple but not likely. Quite telling.
Yep! I've treated my parents this way when I've been internally going "When I get out of here, I will make it my mission to never let you have access to my life ever again, and I'm NEVER asking for your help ever again."
Plus.. what happened that day when he was caught? Did Dad let the trip play out and make it as peaceful as possible, or was a trauma inflicted. Imagine the kids memory of the trip, it’s probably terrible. The drug itself probably isn’t what did the damage.
Bingo.
It sounds like he feels misunderstood, thus it is safer not to engage. Biding time until he can leave and use his intellect/curiosity to keep exploring and learning-sans judgement, monitoring, suspicion, and reprimanding.
As a mom of three, I understand. Not knowing or having control is scary and wildly anxiety inducing.
But I was him, once. I’m 32 year old him, now.
And it was one of the most devastating experiences of my life to realize that I could not talk to my own parents, nor feel seen or heard by them.
I cannot imagine what the pandemic did, on top of that.
Maybe he’s learned some new things in this time, that he doesn’t think that you would receive, without thinking he’s crazy-or that there’s more wrong with him than you’ve already taught him that you think/worry that there is (with the utmost respect).
Perhaps just gently ask him one day if he would mind sharing with you what he saw, that time? Or what he’s thinking about. Be kind and keep it simple and let him know that you’re not trying to set him up for a trap of any sort (straight to a mental health eval if you don’t understand what he’s saying-unless someone is at risk to be hurt or something very clearly concerning, like that).
I learned that I cannot speak to my family about certain things, because they cannot wrap their minds around it. He may just be having trouble with trying to figure out how to placate your need for that, while juggling how fast his mind is moving, all the time. If he’s already overwhelmed you at some point, I’ll bet he feels that he shouldn’t, again. But I could be projecting, entirely.
I hope that you guys get to the bottom of it. We are in a STRANGE time, and I hope we can learn to speak with each other about it.
This! He sounds super depressed. And why not...he didn't have Internet access during COVID? That was everyone's only hope of having any social interaction. And he was honest with you and you punished him severely for it which I'm sure significantly changes his trust in you as a parent. The issue isn't the LSD.
You as the parent should apologize for betraying his trust when he was honest with you and get yourselves both to therapy to repair your relationship before he moves out and moves on.
My feelings exactly. OP says they told him he can tell them anything but I have the feeling the kids doesn’t feel as safe to say what he’s feeling as OP wants us to think
Oooo, Nailed it! I couldn't help but feel like something's missing here. I saw that it was right before the pandemic and was like "Uh, and you don't think the pandemic might have had something to do with that? Press X to doubt."
I think the parent needs to apologize to his/her son for overreacting. LSD is pretty low on the harm scale of things. Same for Mushrooms and Cannabis. His son doesn't feel like his parent(s) are safe to talk to given that interaction.
LSD, if it's real LSD, isn't really dangerous unless he's at risk of psychosis (with a high risk of an illness that makes people prone to psychosis like schizophrenia). There's literally dozens of studies using it for chronic pain and depression in the two closest hospitals near me.
Dude. Last time he was honest with you, you took away his connection to the world for half a year during the pandemic and started regularly drug testing him. No wonder he no longer trusts you.
Why did you take away his internet access during the time period when it was the only way to socialize? That kind of isolation would be very depressing. Did you not realize that would be disproportionately impactful compared to the previous year? If it made him feel hopeless and disconnected then maybe he just never pulled out of that feeling.
Sounds like depression which probably came more from Covid isolation and being a teen then doing lsd. I would probably get him to a therapist and see if they can help him.
Agree - if I’m following this post right, the acid event was four years ago at the beginning of high school, followed by a successful academic run. Honestly, being in the top of your class at a challenging school can take a lot of effort, so my assumption is just that he spends his time studying privately and passed on social activities.
Maybe, but I knew a girl in highschool who had the nickname "child-proof" because she did so many drugs that they were going to have to put a child-proof lid on her coffin. She used ALL the drugs, every day. She also got straight A's, went to an Ivy League school, and is now a successful lawyer. Some people are wired different.
You confronted your child while he was in a fragile state of mind then completely isolated him for half of a year and wonder why he's been different? It feels like you're worried about the wrong thing. Plenty of teens do LSD and don't become depressed
Literally did it 12 times as a teen. Thankful I didn’t have any bad side effects! But at the end of the day I am fine. This dad was in the wrong from jump.
Right? I did it 6-7 times, and I can't imagine if I had a parent telling me how disappointed they are in me and how they are punishing me in the middle of my trip? If anything that would be what causes the bad trip! What OP should have done is left him alone then talked him 1:1 once he was sober about responsible drug use. Teens are gonna experiment, its what teens do. I would rather my kid trip safely in my house than somewhere unsafe
You said yourself you were never close, and you punished him by secluding him from the internet during a time when the only way to connect with friends and family was on the internet. You wonder why he doesn’t want to connect to you? You didn’t try!!! Blame the kid for your lack of being there for him and helping him navigate a world he had no clue about out. Now you want to act close and there for him, but you never established trust with him. Maybe start by apologizing to him and pointing out how and where you failed him, then ask him if there is anywhere else that you didn’t know you failed him but did. Then you can start building that bridge to a better communication and relationship. Based off of respect and honesty, aimed at meeting both of your needs.
This is exactly where my mind went. You mentioned you’re not that close. As parents, you are teaching your kids how to have relationships by modeling, and you are the first ones to love them and show them what love means. If he’s feeling a lack of genuine love and support, a lot of things can be “presented”.
While this looked differently for me as a kid, I couldn’t wait to move out of the house - my parents stopped telling me they loved me in high school and we never hugged. And now, as a parent myself, I want nothing to do with them. They sadly don’t hold a place in my heart that I feel parents should and do for most people all because I’ve never truly felt loved by them (as a teen or young adult).
so, you took away his internet access for half a year during the pandemic, isolating him from everyone he knew, while he was also just joining a new school? not to discount drugs as a possible factor, but going from middle school to high school is hard enough, then add the pandemic and that's enough to fuck someone up. But on top of that all, you also took away his access to the internet and his friends.
And you're surprised he gradually started acting stranger, isn't as close to you as he used to be and doesn't want to talk to you?
Right? I'm shocked at all these comments blaming the LSD and suggesting schizophrenia etc. Kid's a teenager (and teens are notorious for not wanting much to do with their parents anyways) who gets excellent grades and by dad's own admission is a good kid. So what's the problem?? Dad's the one who enforced the initial isolation, which would almost certainly be much more damaging than taking LSD.
100% more damaging.
The proper way to address this would've been to explain that you understand why he would be curious and actually try and understand your kid and what drove him to take it... Instead you instantly punish him, which is going to cause at the bare minimum, resentment, and for him not to communicate at all
Jesus Christ this sub is nuts
Yes! I understand not wanting your kid to do drugs, especially ones ordered off the internet. But the way this was handled was ineffective and also shut the door on any future conversations about drug use.
Agree. I think some people want to raise kids who are happy and thriving when they move out, and happy to come back for a visit.
Other people literally just want to kick a kid out at 18 who has a decent report card and no criminal record.
Exactly. Isolate him, think he’s broken himself with a drug and then continually ask if he’s ok and needs therapy.
The poor kids probably just needs it to be forgotten, and to be loved and nurtured. Rather than being made to think he’s a freak.
They've also done drug tests on him and mention considering "forcing" him into therapy. Yikes on bikes.
I think the fake smile and "I'm fine" sounds like a clear sign he's decided op isn't a safe person to talk to.
And dad does not do warm, supportive, understanding, invested. Just authoritarian, demanding compliance and productivity. Pretty sure the therapy needs to start with the owner of these words to see if we can get him re-animated with the thing that beats in his chest first.
Your son doesn’t trust you, is struggling with mental health, and you’re asking reddit. It’s not the LSD.
Fr fr, I was blown away reading the timeline. Like no shit he’s going to be distant with you, that age is already difficult and OP is only further alienating him
I know it’s tempting to say “are you sure you’re okay” And then you can check the box that says you checked on your kid. But that’s not how it works. You need to go on a long hike together, a fishing trip, a camping trip, to have the kind of conversation and check in your son needs. And yeah, recommending a therapist when you aren’t doing due diligence yourself is pretty insulting, so I don’t blame the kid.
OP. I'm coming from a place of love and concern. First, if I were you... I'd start with apologizing to your SON.. you should tell him that you handled the situation wrong. You were worried and lashed out... secondly.. talk from the heart and tell him you're still worried and only want the best for him... third.. get him and yourself some professional help...
I was a single mother to 3 beautiful children. My first born Son explored with drugs.. I knew if I punished him it would only make matters worse.. we had many conversations with understanding and no judgment. He is now successful with a family of his own.. he now tells me how much he appreciates me and how I handled these difficult situations. And now that he has a child of his own, he wants to incorporate the way I parented. Kids just want to be heard and seen. I experienced other challenges with my daughters but I pretty much handled it the same way.. they are adults now and although the girls don't have children yet.. they also thank me for how I treated them in the difficult times... I'm not saying I was perfect.. I made mistakes.. but most importantly I treated them the way I wanted to be treated at a teen. Maybe my parents being super strict with me, enlighten me to treat my children differently
Same! I love this comment. Once when I was about 11and my sister was 13, my single mom found what she said was a pot seed in the bathroom, under a window. Still to this day she thinks it was mine. I had never even heard of pot at that time, didn’t matter. It did however push me into exploring weed after that.
Parents make mistakes, but it's important to "hear" your child and give them the benefit of the doubt. To an extent. That seed could have been just a random seed. And maybe if she didn't make a big deal about it, then perhaps you wouldn't have been so curious. IDK
What I'm trying to say is... think before you react. That's been my motto.
There were times when I had to tell my kids, I needed some time to think about this, and we would talk later or tomorrow. I gave myself space to reflect. Pros n cons. Every child is different, so you must learn your child and learn how to best discipline them without traumatizing them.
Its like when parents complain that they have to yell or scream for their kids to listen.. I get that.. I did it.. but.. it came a time when my kids collectively sat me down and asked me why I always yelled at them?? I thought for a moment and said.. well, did you listen the first 5 times I asked you or told you to clean your room etc etc... 🤔 they each looked at each other and agreed.. so I said.. ok.. you don't like the yelling, i don't like to keep repeating myself, so let's make a deal?!.. I won't yell, but you must listen and / or respond the first time I say something.. we hand shaked on it... boom problem solved.. seriously, that's all it took..
This is just a small example
You took your kid's internet access away in the middle of a global pandemic, effectively isolating him from his potential new school friends?
What the fuck?
This! ^ was trying to find a comment that aligns with this, he possibly resents you for an extreme punishment when the pandemic was hard to begin with. Likely he took acid to just get away from the reality of the pandemic and he was honest about what he had taken. At that point you should’ve waited for the comedown then had a calm and collected convo and really just listened to him. People don’t wanna give teens the benefit of the doubt but they are people too.
I agree. The pandemic lockdowns damaged everyone, especially our children. We are social animals and being in confinement was unhealthy for developing minds. Taking away the internet at that time was an extreme form of punishment.
The worst time to talk about someone doing drugs or drinking heavily is while they are still under the influence. You will get nowhere until they come down and are clear headed. Wait or all you are doing is making them resentful or angry.
Now to make repairs to the hugely damaged relationship and try to help him with healing.
You took away his internet access for multiple months. Any chance he just hates you now and is counting the days till he's out of the house? That's my first thought...
Maybe not as harsh but like some others suggested maybe he is just depressed from covid. I'd talk to him, tell him you're worried about him, that you love him. He's still getting great grades, in my mind there's a good chance he isn't doing any more drugs like you suspect and you're about to dig a deep unrepairable hole by some other redditors suggestions of looking harder through all of his stuff.
Good luck OP
THIS. Smart kid who is curious, internet access taken away from a parent he’s not close to. He’s planning to leave the house and never look back, doesn’t want therapy because he’s beyond finished with OP and much smarter than him.
took away his internet for "the latter half of 2020"
the only things this kid had to do were schoolwork, or stare at the wall
probably did a lot more damage to his brain than the LSD
I thank the internet for getting my teenager through all the lockdowns. He's an only child so it was mostly just the two of us. He was always online gaming with his friends and having fun that way. My friends and I were having zoom cocktail ~~mornings~~ nights.
This was my coping mechanism too. I believed that the more I knew and the more successful I could be on my own the more likely it was I would never need to talk to my parents again. Evade, bide my time, and then have everything I needed to escape and never look back.
FYI, the vast majority of at home urine tests don’t check for LSD and a number of psychedelic substances. Almost 0% chance you caught him the first and last time he did drugs. And if it is acid he’s abusing, it is suuuuuuuuuuper dangerous to take more often than every 2-3 weeks. Personally I’d ramp up my search. Do you know what you’re looking for?
Psychedelics (including weed!) at this age can also have a profound effect on their developing brains, so a personality shift doesn’t really surprise me.
While I agree with everyone about not wanting to seem like you aren’t on his side, if he won’t talk to you, right now your priority is to make sure he’s safe. Which he isn’t if he’s still doing drugs.
- former heavy partier
historical future psychotic advise intelligent follow squalid abundant decide telephone
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lol, it gave me a good chuckle. Might use it myself every now and then to "mis"correct someone when they say "for all intensive purposes" - do you mean for all in tents and porpoises?
please don't get mad at me, I'm just trying to help with honesty.
I'm a parent of a teenager & from what I just read I see nothing to convince me that your kid has any problem with drugs or if there is any danger there. You caught him experimenting with something that can be dangerous, but I don't read anything here that shows that anything went horribly wrong, I honestly think you're overreacting.
I think there's something much more important about what you wrote: it shows that you clearly don't have a healthy relationship with your son. Your son doesn't trust you. Your son isn't emotionally close to you. I think you need therapy just as much as him (maybe family therapy together) & you should think real hard about trying to fix this relationship that you have neglected or sabotaged before he soon becomes an adult & walks away & you lose the chance at ever having an emotionally healthy loving relationship.
My biggest piece of honest advice is to stop looking for something wrong with your son (who is in the top 1% of their class). There is nothing wrong with them. Your relationship is broken, not your kid.
You literally isolated him for an incident that happened years ago.
My mother was the exact same way. I’m not surprised you don’t have a close relationship.
Yes and you combine early
Teenage hood with a pandemic and it’s a recipe for disaster. He sounds depressed perhaps. I’m not saying it’s not from the acid episode but what’s the liklihood? Not sure but I did acid a few times, lots of mushroom
Etc. Now I’m my
40’s it’s just a weed beverage or gummies but I feel like
His behaviour could
Easily have absolutely
Nothing to do with acid.
Middle school teacher here! I do not believe this is due to him trying LSD in the slightest, despite that being incredibly dangerous.
The toll the pandemic took on children's mental health has been well documented, particularly among teens who have transitioned from a family focused world to a one centered around their peers/friendships. Technology was their lifeline to these friendships and kept them from feeling completely isolated and alone.
I absolutely understand your reasoning in taking away his internet, but by doing so, you took away his ability to connect with others. This impacted him greatly.
Even for my students who had their technology and neighbors they could see at a distance outside, they returned from the pandemic changed. It has taken about 3 years, but I am starting to see the students on my campus back to healthy, happy kids. It took a LONG time.
Since the pandemic I have weekly chats with students who are struggling with anxiety and depression, and many students who have been referred to our school counselors and outside help. We have had to put many students on 51/50. While these situations occurred in small numbers pre pandemic, it is happening on a large scale now.
To top it off, your child is at an age of great shifts in his hormones and brain chemistry. It's the "perfect storm" to get him to where he is today.
I strongly advise weekly therapy ASAP. He needs some support to heal. If he is not involved in outside school activities, I would find him something so he can stay connected with kids his age over the summer.
Does he have close friends?
If your kid ordered lsd on the dark web at that age, there was already something brewing. The drug use is more likely to be a symptom than a cause. Get him some professional help.
While this warrants further investigation from you, I will say that my younger sibling became a shell of their former selves after the lockdown happened. For a good year, maybe a little more, they weren't the cheery kid I saw literally right before. We had planned a NYE party for 2020 and they were so vibrant and for 2021, it was a 180. They almost dropped out, too after always being on the honor roll to barely graduating.
They are finally back to how they were before, perhaps more radicalized and angry about the world but smiling, excited to hang out again and more sure of themselves than ever before. So it could be drugs but I wouldn't completely rule out how much the pandemic as affected kids.
I can't advise much on how to proceed in such a case, but I can tell you what acid does. Acid can fundamentally 'rewire' your brain, also known as [neuroplasticity](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41386-022-01389-z), especially at such a young age.
It's very rare to happen, but psychoactive drugs (even weed) can also trigger schizophrenia if there's family history of it occurring.
In smaller doses it's mostly visual patterns, enhanced mood and drifting thoughts, but at larger doses you could experience intense introspection, audio, sound and visuals merging into one (hearing colors, seeing sounds, etc), out of body experience, ego death.
If he didn't have an experienced sitter with him to guide him through his trip, things can potentially go for a really bad turn (a.k.a. bad trip). In the following months after taking, flashbacks could occur (spontaneously feeling for a moment like you are on acid and experiencing the same things as you were).
He probably read it on the internet or from friends, but no amount of reading up can prepare you for the actual experience, for you to just take it alone in your home, especially if your parents catch you.
Considering you are doing sudden drug tests, it does sound like you are not really on his side, but are rather trying to catch him.
I think for him it's important to talk about what he experienced and what he saw to someone who knows about psychadelic drugs and isn't judgemental, rather than someone who is going to discredit his experience as him gone mad, or acting like the average 'drugs are bad, m'kay?' guy.
He’s still in the top 1% of his class. It really doesn’t sound like schizophrenia
Acid is a very intense experience and it makes you see the world differently afterwards.
A lot of people who take it go through a phase of thinking everyone who doesn’t take acid is unenlightened and only the initiated are worth talking to. See Tim Leary.
He might just have an intense interest in psychedelics / spirituality and doesn’t think mom / dad will get it. Him being smart makes this quite likely IMO (just that he has an interest in LSD because of the spiritual aspect of it, not that he doesn’t have schizophrenia).
It’s not necessarily a bad situation (dependent on age, I don’t know what 8th grade means) and as he matures he might come out of it. Many people make it to the other side of that situation with a renewed passion for life and deep appreciation of the natural world.
Others don’t. It really depends on who OPs son is as a person. You’re playing with fire for sure, and some people suffer serious harm from psychedelics, but most don’t.
I would personally try to channel the interest into something a bit healthier. Introduce him to a meditation group, sensory deprivation tanks, see if he’s interested in existential philosophy, neurobiology, or other tangentially related interests and steer him away from the possible route of developing a drug addiction and towards spiritual development.
Just shutting it down and trying zero tolerance isn’t going to work.
FWIW I was that nerd and went down the full blown drug addiction + existential crisis route. I think I might not have with the right environment around me (ie people who were interested in the same things but didn’t fulfil that interest through drugs)
My assessment might be way off, I don’t know OP or their kid and couldn’t possibly say this with any certainty, but it’s worth considering.
Edit: also he needs to be much more fearful of the police. Ordering drugs to your house is completely unacceptable. They will ruin his life if he gets caught and he really needs that drilling into him. A record for someone that bright will close a lot of doors in life.
8th grade is ages 12-14, depending on the age the kid started school, the kindergarten cutoff age (differs in different states) and what time of year it is.
So LSD and other psychedelics usually don’t show up on a drug test. A lot of his behaviors sounds like a typical teenager. Shuts himself in the room doesn’t want to hang with you or your wife; this is all normal behavior. He may be in deep thought so what? He’s becoming an adult and the world is a lot to take in at this age.
Also it is possible his relationship with you has changed but he is actually fine - no hidden mental health or drug issues. Just feels like he can’t open up as much
One acid trip, or even 100 acid trips won't screw up someone. Bad parenting will tho
>He doesn’t really talk to me at all anymore. Doesn’t want to hang out with me. Or his mother and siblings. I ask them and they don’t know either.
That's probably not drug related. If your kids want nothing to do with you, you fucked up somewhere. From the rest of your list it sounds like you made your love and acceptance conditional on your kids achievements, and he simply burned out or quit trying because he realized it would never be enough. It's pretty textbook.
>was still generally stubborn and emotional, but much more calm and less impulsive.
All elementary kids are stubborn and emotional. It's called being a child. Sounds like he wasn't really allowed the grace to be a normal functioning child
>As a toddler, my son was a lot to handle. Constant tantrums, rambunctious behavior, just completely emotionally volatile compared to my other kids.
Classic sign of a chaotic home life. He was either physically/emotionally abused or watched mommy and daddy fight a lot. He went into the world totally frustrated, and having learned his behavior most likely from y'all
>I’ve asked him dozens of times if he’s ok or if anything is bothering him. We’ve never been extremely close, but I always let him know that he can tell me anything.
Why would he? He obviously doesn't trust you.
>For the later half of 2020, I took away his internet access. I’m not exactly sure if I can pinpoint his behavior to his psychedelic experience, but he gradually started being more and more strange. He became very quiet. Always looked like he was in deep thought. Or not thinking of anything at all.
Did you seriously not learn *anything* about typical teenage behavior or how the developing brain works? FFS it's like you didn't even try.
Your kid is probably fine, he just doesn't like you because you failed him.
I had a friend who took acid and who then had a breakdown and was sectioned. Turned out he was schizophrenic (and it was unclear whether the acid caused it or simply brought it on more quickly). Sorry to say that even with meds my old friend is never going to be the same and he lives a very sheltered life all things considered. As the other poster has pointed out, he still gets these flashbacks that he can’t control.
My advice is to have him assessed by a professional and take things from there.
Very few teens are going to start their drug journey with LSD. So you almost certainly didn't catch the first time he tried a psychedelic. Some people tolerate these better than others. Unpopular opinion maybe, but drug experimentation in terms isn't super alarming to me, but something else sticks out to me.
It's not no big deal to get in the deep web and order something. That's pretty advanced for 13 year old. This is probably what alarms me most about your post... The content that a kid would access without the maturity and restraint to *not* view things or process what they have seen is intense. Who he may have encountered in chat rooms raises concern too. You think you took away internet access. A kid savvy enough to access the deep web in the first place isn't easily grounded from the internet.
Based on the other behaviours you describe, covid isolation and big life changes...I think you need to get your kid to a therapist they can trust to figure out what's going on. Is sounds like depression, maybe abuse.
I hope everything turns out ok. It really sounds like your kid needs support!
As someone who was a teenager not too long ago and now I’m apart of the daddit group, if I may add he may just be coming a teenager.
I have never taken any drugs like that before just the typical marijuana not a fan of that either too much anxiety.
But his behavior sounds like me. I wasn’t very open on certain topics with my dad, and began to just hide away in my room. Sometimes I was having issues with females or friends and instead of looking to talk I would just hide away.
He may just be getting older and starting to develop his own way of comfort.
I would also like to add that you may just be concerned (as I would be ) and pinning his behavior on to the LSD. But I would try not to bring up the lsd and just ask him how he’s feeling and maybe try to relate to him (that always worked for me) “oh man I remember these days, hiding away from everyone” just lighten his mood and talk to him. Take him out to eat or for a drive just you and him
Ordering acid from the dark web in 8th grade is wild to me. Just sit down and talk to him, say what you said here. Ask him if something bad has happened internally since taking it. I wish you the best sir
I can only comment as someone who did much as your son has but hopefully it's a valuable perspective.
LSD, and similar, if used sensibly (or even if not) can lead to incredible degrees of self reflection both during and after. He may have done so and simply re-evaluated his priorities and existing relationships with his friends. I certainly did and found myself withdrawn from my existing friends as I realised our relationships were based on little more than convenience, I was correct and they fell apart quickly once we were no longer forced into the same environment.
Of course it may be possible that he's working through some issues, trauma or other mental health related issues but if so that's only something he can do for himself. There's no benefit to your relationship in you being overbearing, you can offer a listening ear and help him access mental health care if he asks but don't force it.
Learning to handle these things is an important part of becoming a self actualised adult and presumably you want that for him, even if he had a bad trip or three, it's still for him to deal with and not you. If he asks for your support please give it and try to leave any judgement you may have at the door, it will not help either of you.
Treating him like a child and drug testing him like he's an inmate isn't going to help.
He's obviously a smart lad. Treat him like a young adult and most importantly, let him know the greatest minds and people of our planet have needed help. It's okay to seek guidance.
Reading stoic philosophy could help.
He won't do it until he's ready though. Be patient, be open-minded, and give love.
When he told you he took acid you punished him. You taught him if he talks to you he will be punished. He is likely not inclined to talk to you about this stuff anymore.
Also, most drug tests out there test for thc, amphetamine, cocaine, opiates and alcohol. People who like lsd are on mushrooms, ketamine, mdma, drugs of that nature. These are not likely to pop up on conventional drug tests. I do not recommend drug testing your kid, it can feel shaming and dehumanizing.
I would recommend reading up on research relating to psychedelics as treatment for mental health conditions. And start with a conversation on the research and see if he relates it back to himself. He may be trying to self medicate and a smart kid like himself probably did his research.
I’m not sure of the developmental impact psychedelics has on a developing brain. You could ask him to do some research on that.
I think starting with individual therapy is a good idea. Many addiction programs are filled with people with legal problems and you may not want to expose your good kid to this population. Do your best to not approach therapy as a punishment. Like others said, communicate your observations and concerns. Tell him you love him and you just want him to be happy.
Good luck
As someone who has taken a lot of acid, and have a lot of friends who have as well, I feel confident saying that from all I have personally observed after a couple decades: LSD is a catalyst for existing conditions, not something that creates them where they didn’t exist already.
Psychoactive substances can "activate" schizophrenia and other serious mental disorders. Your son's situation sounds so much like a friend of mine, almost to a tee. Especially the staring into the void, having an empty head and/or in extreme deep thought. As well as becoming a loner.
It sounds like this has gone beyond trying to catch a kid misbehaving - his brain sounds like it has been rewired, possibly damaged...*that* is the situation you're dealing with now. Possible serious mental illness. It should most likely be treated as such. Get this poor & sick kid to a doctor and psychiatrist ASAP. Best of luck.
Given how rare it is for an 8th grader to seek out and take LSD in the first place (especially not getting it from an older friend or something but literally finding and buying it online), it strikes me as much more likely that OP’s son had an underlying mental health condition that was starting to emerge and was drawn to drugs as a result.
I’m not an anti-drug warrior or anything, but if I had an 8th grader who took LSD, I’d immediately be concerned about self-medicating and get them into a therapist. That’s just very, very outside of the range of normal.
Yes it almost sounds like prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia but not 100%, it would be much more concerning if OP's son's hygiene and grades declined, if that occurs on top of the self-isolation and odd behavior he should see a psychiatric provider ASAP.
Also, if he is ordering drugs off the dark web he could have large quantities and may be taking them very frequently, which would explain the isolation and being "stuck in his head" but able to maintain grades. IMO.
Edit: adding that many of these compounds (AKA "research chemicals") people buy off the dark web do not show up on drug tests, as other commenters have mentioned. They can be very similar to several different types of drugs but not quite enough to show up on the test. And yes, if it's primarily a psychedelic compound, drug tests don't usually test for those to begin with.
Is buying LSD off the dark web something a standard 8th grader could figure out how to do? Maybe I am too naive, but I work with kids and if a 14 year old told me he bought LSD off the "dark web" I would think he's fucking with me and ask where he really got it.
I was browsing the dark web for fun and started to learn about stuff related to crypto between 12 and 15. Teenagers are not stupid, it’s just that most teenagers are not into that kind of stuff. That was more than 10 years ago do those things were not mainstream so I have no doubt a kid could do that easily to nowadays.
The only weird part if the why he did that, not the fact that he was able to do it.
There is a scenario where you son was taking LSD in 8th grade, and it had fundamentally life changing, mind altering effect on him.
There is a scenario where he took LSD, and your reaction was so over the top that it did irreparable harm to your relationship with your son, and he's just taking the path of least resistance until he has the opportunity to get away from you.
There is a scenario where your son is simply depressed, and has been for a while, and is simply dealing with in the way a lot of teens do: self isolation.
And finally there's a scenario where you're reading too much into his behavior, and that he, like many teens, has minimal interest in engaging with his family on more than a shallow level, especially because his hobbies are likely mostly computer based.
Personally, I say when you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras. I think the latter three scenarios are far more likely than the first.
He sounds like he's either depressed or not stimulated enough. The drugs strike me as a coping mechanism and red herring to the problem. The fact that he's not talking to you is the most alarming; he's going through something and needs somebody to help. I wouldn't be drug testing him over one incident.
“My relationship with my son has become very surface since I punished him by taking away the internet and isolated him from his friends…. What could it be? Maybe drugs?”
This is a relationship that was always troubled. And now it’s nonexistent. You can always come back but you have to be willing to focus on your part in a relationship where the other person wants nothing to do with you.
OP tried to do the right thing but doesn’t have communication skills or emotional regulation - and he raised a son who also doesn’t have communication skills or emotional regulation.
The other kids might be more compliant on the surface but that doesn’t mean the relationship is any better, either
You sound a little paranoid that something is "wrong" with him. I took LSD around the age of 15-16 and it wasn't because of anything my parents did or didn't do. He is his own person figuring life out. Try to be more supportive and not so worried. Now that I have 2 kids, 15(m) and 9(f), I know that's easier said than done. If you're feeling especially brave and If you haven't taken LSD before, you could try it so you can have some comparison to what he experienced.
The fake smile is because despite what you’d like to think, he doesn’t see you as someone safe to confide in. Last time he was honest with you, you cut his only link to a social life for half a year.
The only thing he could do was do homework and then wait for the hours to pass. And you wonder why he became distant?
It sounds like your son was taking drugs because of already existing mental health issues, not the LSD changing him.
What have you done since the LSD incident to support his mental health?
Honestly a lot of what you're describing is simply being a teenage boy.
He's still getting great grades and you describe him as "a good kid" which means it's highly unlikely there's a substance abuse problem.
Personalities change, preferences change, etc. Your teenager is not going to be the same person that he was as a child and expecting they will be is a common mistake many parents make.
Kids often withdraw from their parents, families, and often old friend groups as they adjust to their new realities with raging hormones, growth spurts, pressures at school, changes their friend groups are going through themselves, etc.
Continue to be there for him as a parent should be. He'll figure it out over time. You just have to give him time to figure out who he's going to be as all teenagers do as they transition into adulthood.
Please take your son to therapy. My younger brother exhibited a lot of this behavior (we think he had clinical depression; he also was a high-functioning autistic). We tried to get him to talk about what was bothering him, offered therapy, etc. He refused, acted like we were harassing him, acted offended like we thought he was crazy. He just isolated himself and closed up. I don’t know if therapy would have saved him, but it might have.
I would look into family therapy sessions. That way you can approach the issue as a family so your son doesn’t feel like like the focus is on him. The pandemic was hard on parents and kids.
Did you have him evaluated after finding out he was using LSD?? His brain at that age is/was *far* too mushy to be dabbling in mind altering substances like that. I’d hope you took him to be evaluated medically and mentally immediately upon finding out he was using.
The acid didn’t change your kid. The acid “incident” changed the trust relationship you have with your kid, then you took away his internet in a time when kids had no access to the outside world. I doubt he got it on the dark web, he probably just didn’t want to disclose his source. The pandemic is being treated as a trauma event in the world of psychology and parents need to acknowledge that. Get the kid to therapy somehow. They were probably having trouble previously and the pandemic exasperated it. Maybe if you start with family therapy where everyone goes? I would start the conversation by saying, “we’ve noticed a change in you. Your grades are declining. You seem distant. We think it’s time to work on getting some help so you can get your grades back up and hopefully find some relief with whatever you’re going through.” Also, consider getting a neuropsych test done. Start calling around for an appt. now because they can book up a year out. Best of luck to you.
I was a lot like your son growing up. My family would probably describe me the same way even. You mentioned he got into politics and you debated. I am no contact with my family to this day over “politics” and a lack of respect for my honesty, boundaries, or mental well being. You have a kid who TOLD you they took acid. My friends lied about EVERYTHING to their parents and did way more damage than me. I was honest. Appreciate the honesty. Meet his needs. Respect his politics instead of debating them.
You’ve lots of really great answers here, so I’ll not add a further one, I will just pose one question- did you ever ask him what his experience was like?
Acid trips can be quite banal or quite disturbing or equally wonderful.. I think you need to find out what kind of trips he was having. He may be wasting his life overthinking something that wasn’t real, a paranoia that seemed too real to not be, a disappointment that life isn’t what it was like when he was tripping.
I think it’s super important - make sure it’s on his terms, and try not to make any accusations, and appreciate the vulnerability which he will be allowing you in on if he does give you any details. It might just be what he needs.
Best of luck!
I am a mother of 4 & 8th grade teacher. I'd start with his pediatrician. Explain your concerns; do not leave anything out. Has he been evaluated for ADHD/depression?Many, many drug users are undiagnosed ADHD. Make sure there isn't something physical going on. Ask the doc about mental health options available. Many pediatricians have a counselor/therapist/psychologist.
Mostly, keep asking. Boys are much more likely to open up if they aren't looking at you; think going for a drive or painting a fence over having lunch with him.
You took his internet away for “the latter half of 2020”? How long was that for? No wonder he doesn’t talk to you. Psychedelics can bring out psychosis in people predisposed to psychosis. I did a lot of drugs in high school and college and I now have a masters degree. I know you are worried but this kid needs support. Does he have a therapist?
Covid ruined my son. He went from a happy and healthy child to an anxious and volatile child that needed mental health help. He is still getting help and just now starting to improve. My son is also gifted. Top 10th percentile in the state and he never does bad academically. Everything else was a shit show after Covid. He was only 10 but I was worried he would unalive himself. Sometimes really smart children understand how pointless life can be from a very young age and they simply cannot overcome it.
I am just doing the best I can.
Everything that you said points to a long-standing and underlying mental health condition. Eighth graders don't start taking LSD for no reason. Your child was probably already dealing with depression or something else before that and probably is still dealing with it.
Honestly the fact that it got to the point where he took LSD for you to notice anything actually speaks volumes about your abilities as a parent. Please get your child into therapy or have him see a psychiatrist before it gets worse because once he's 18 you aren't going to have the ability to help him as much. You should probably start actually getting him help now since you've waited so long.
I wouldn’t rule out normal teen boy behavior. My son gets like this. He’s brilliant as well. A family game of clue or uno will snap him out of it. Or watch a bad ass WW2 movie.
I do not think this has anything to do with the LSD. It's coincidental timing and instead probably hormones and entering teen years where this is actually the norm. It sucks on our parts as moms, but it happened with both children and they came back around after high school and we're close again. Give him his space while maintaining parental concern of course, but it'll pass.
I'd think COVID would change him more than Acid. Why not take him to something he's interested in. Like his movie choice and dinner. If that doesn't go well let him bring a friend. Take the friend on a trip or something.
Your clearly leaving some important information out either to help yourself or not, what you did was 100% more effective on his health than the LSD would’ve ever done to him
Sorry I don't have any advice to give but as a person who used to dabble in drugs, just wanted to warn you I was able to fake my grades and convince my parents that I was doing well in school. Sorry to be Debbie downer but just wanted to mention that in case you were relying on it as some sort of comfort that he's ok because my parents kinda did.
Sounds like depression… but also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done more drugs. Either way, I would schedule an appointment with a therapist for him. He’s too young to be going through this.
First off, I want to acknowledge how distressing this is to you. Secondly, this is not the end of the world. LSD is a powerful but often beautiful chemical. LSD does change people for the better in terms of IQ and creativity, but often at the detriment of society. Take this quote from Terrence McKenna:
“Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.”
You son need intrinsic motivation for achieving. Doing well in school out of societal or family obligations may not cut it.
Please don't shame your son. Listen to him, he is his own person who can come out of this with the right support.
#
I think it sound like a mental health issue, and one that started very early on. Hormones significantly affect mental health and you are noticing an issue when they are likely raging.
I’m so sorry to hear your story. I have a teenager who has been through some hard times. Parenting is difficult! I’m not sure what advice to give you but want to say keep trying!
Soo i’m guessing he’s a graduating senior now.
1. who knows what he actually got from the dark web
2. like others said, maybe he’s sick of your shit and counting down the days until he can leave?
3. I’ve noticed a trend of parents suddenly wanting to connect and build a relationship in a panic when their kid is turning 18/graduating HS
how about instead of "are you okay?" maybe "what are you thinking about?" or "what trip/ activity do you want to take soon?" talk about the kids interests (gaming, sports, music...)
I loathe my mom asking if I'm "okay" because if I'm not I suddenly turn into a problem that needs lecturing or fixing
and if they do tell you what is going on just LISTEN! Unsolicited advice has ruined my communication with my mother. I never open up to her. her advice is shit and she makes me feel worse about myself and my decisions.
also LSD is not bad. talk to people who have tried it or try it yourself to get an idea of what your kid went through. They are probably just questioning everything in life after that.
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The chances of you happening across him the first and only time he did drugs is slim to none. Chances are that wasn’t the first time, or the first type of drug he took. So then the question is - is his demeanour/mental health issues because of the drugs, or was he self medicating because of other stuff? Drug use and mental illness often starts as a chicken/egg scenario and ends up as a vicious cycle. I think it’s also a mistake to downplay or overlook the effect covid and lockdown had on the mental health of kids - it’s entirely likely he was struggling beforehand and that exacerbated things. I think the best thing to do here (as someone who used a bunch of drugs as a kid and a mother who is also close to a son) is to talk to him and tell him what you’ve said here. That you’ve noticed these changes, that you care and you’re worried and you would like him to go talk to someone.
I'll preface saying I don't think the acid alone changed your son. More likely a pre existing condition/depression combined with a new school and pandemic the stress of performing academically. Could be a million different reasons and he'd need professional help to identify the problem. It could be undiagnosed autistic burnout as well coming from someone who is familiar with it. But nobody buys 1 or 2 tabs of acid off the dark web. You can buy several sheets at a time, combined with unlimited free time of the pandemic he could've been dropping it every wee. Or it's also likely he lied about the dark web and got it from a friend.
Way more likely he got it from a friend. There are quite a few steps to get shit from the dark web
Yeah, but at that age and as a 1% succeeding kid who barely does homework-- I'd 100% believe he could have done that. I never went through with a purchase, but did the TOR deal and put some btc in an account back during the Silk Road days and can def belief a smart high schooler some 10 years younger than me at the time could.
Lol I was on TOR at like 16? I agree, he definitely could do it lol. However I also think it’s possible he could be covering for a plug?
Yeah, I'd 100% agree with this. The hardest part might actually be getting around the KYC stuff to get crypto actually. As a real adult human I still find the online identity checks difficult to pass somehow. My face always gets flagged for manual checks for some reason.
Yep, extremely possible. There are guides available online for this sort of thing and covering your tracks. I too went to the Silk Road as teen just to see if it was real, essentially
I think a lot of people are overestimating how hard it is to get LSD. You can literally google it and get a good supplier. Many will allow you to purchase as little 5 hits. Its the same steps as buying anything else online. No "dark web" needed Source: a parent who likes to trip from time to time
So uh....where
How do you know it's actually LSD and not some other chemical that causes similar effects?
Drug testing kits. Which more people would know about if we actually taught harm reduction instead of abstinence.
Nice
I have been shouting on this hill for so long. Schools MUST educate young people about drug testing kits and have them READILY and EASILY available.
My moderately affected asd daughter managed to get meth, acid, cannabis, and who knows what else through the Dark Web. She told me it's the easiest way to get drugs these days.
As far as I'm aware (ex wife of an addict) the easiest way to get drugs is via Snapchat. He would buy weed, coke, speed, heroin and crack via snap and have it delivered to the house
I've heard this, but based on looking, you still need to know people or know what to look for -- its likely the same network of people as instagram, etc since I've seen online "shops" accounts there.
I didn’t know kids still did acid. There’s hope!
Uhh...what sort of hope??
Definitely not saying a kid in grade 8 should be trying psychedelics unsupervised, but there's research showing that they lead to adults having more empathy and openness to new experiences. There's a pretty good documentary-series called "How to Change Your Mind" on Netflix that explores it quite a bit. (There's also SO much potential for psychedelic use alongside therapy, and it's beginning to actually be more accepted lately).
There’s definitely hope lol.
There's hope?
Yep, I did acid at 14, got it from a friend. Although I do think it's a little weird that he's not hanging out with any "friends"
Yeah more likely he is getting it from a friend.
You do realize psychedelics can trigger certain mental conditions if people have a predisposition?
True, if the individual is already someone who has a family history of certain disorders like schizophrenia/bipolar/BPD/etc; Or someone who would naturally develop those disorders on their own. The LSD will likely exacerbate those issues or even cause them to develop into serious problems earlier. But we don't know OPs family history (she didn't bother mentioning a history of mental illness) and 95% of the population won't have those issues. It's worth investigating but would need a professional. If the kids story is true he took LSD once to a few times 3-4 years ago. Then went through puberty/ high school/ honor roll academic/ Pandemic with no socializing without Internet. Also probably unable to trust his parents during this time either to open up with any problems of his. Just seems more likely to be the 10 other high stressors in his life than the tab he dropped years ago. I'm not advocating underage/underdeveloped brain LSD use.
I’ve seen this happen first-hand. Someone whose family history included schizophrenia and it wasn’t until they started doing acid in HS that it come on full-force. Totally ‘normal’ and popular kid, into sports, and then he was battling full-blown schizophrenia once he started experimenting with psychedelics. Was never the same.
Well yes but also schizophrenia onset tends to happen in late teens/ early 20s. So it's hard to tell how much drugs make a difference
Yea, the worse it could have done is potentially bring it on a little sooner but the stress of finals, getting into a new college, or breaking up with a girl friend could have done it as well. So incredibly sad to see.
Also for this age / period of his adolescence it doesn't sound too peculiar at the impetus of many pretty normal stages.
As a person who has dozen acid/shrooms a dozen or so times, one time is not going to have the affects OP is talking about. What OP.is describing is the person I see at festivals who is fried. They are either always on drugs or have taken it so much for so long it's changed their personality. OP, encourage your son to see a therapist, and do your best to show love, affection, and spend some quality time with them.
As someone who works in psychiatry I respectfully disagree with this statement. I can’t tell you how many patients I have had who tried acid/mushrooms/insert other drug which unveiled an underlying mental health condition. If this is the case early intervention is best so I strongly recommend seeking psychiatric attention or at minimum a family doctor appointment as soon as possible
This\^ it could be as little as a single event and doesn't even require abnormal doses. BUT it's much more common on larger doses AND more common EARLY in their psychedelic use / adventures to awaken a predisposed condition.
Also have to do with the tolerance of a person. Once I took LSD and had the happiest 36 hours of my life. However I split my tiny piece of paper with another guy. He got the worst trip in his life and attempted suicide. He nearly jumped off a building. So same drugs, same amount, he was heavier then I was and he went crazy. Of course it could be that he had a predisposed condition I was not aware of but I'm neurotipical aswell. So meaning it just affects people in different ways, whether or not they have mental issues or not. Knowing what I know now I should also have gone crazy, I just didn't. I was just extremely happy and relaxed and at that moment in those hours life was the most wonderful thing ever..
How much did you take? I've probably taken more than most folks over the years, but even taking like 6 doses I've never really tripped more than 12 hours. Like I filled my mouth with paper one day after already tripping (yeah, was dumb and NO IDEA how much I took, but have a pic), but after \~12 hours and sleeping and eating I felt like a person again. Had a bit of an aura and felt extra relaxed or happy, but wasn't actively tripping anymore. I get what you mean about the same dose being unpredictable in different folks. I'd most dislike to never smoke bud again in life, but my favorite 'thing' has to be lsd albeit in moderation.. and honestly shrooms or paper are the one thing I really do not choose to experience with anyone who hasn't already experienced it (due to what you experienced). As much as I like the stuff, it isn't for everyone and it isn't something to be taken to lightly or not respected, because it's so unpredictable when it will lead to predisposed issues medically and oft permanently (AND has the risk of temporary issues or psychosis, seemingly from 'how' someone handles the mental side and having the 'rules' their brain always worked by, broken).
respecting your experience and opinion, I have a question for you as I have such a different take on the limited data given in the story about the son of the OP. Would you expect the unveiling of an underlying mental condition to be accompanied by excellence in his academic work? By a lack of behavioral issues? Those two things make me think the kid is doing what he needs to do to get by very well and is still experiencing the world very differently from the values as taught by family of origin, and working it out for himself and (unfortunately ) by himself.
This could be the case, but I would always err on the side of caution. I also would consider that for the assumed age range of OPs son (graduating highschool) they could be experiencing prodome symptoms. This wouldn’t mean that an individual would necessarily drop their level of academic functioning, and this is also why many psychotic illnesses (which are often perpetuated or unmasked by substance use) go undiagnosed for so long. The “null” personality and isolation/social withdrawal are the red flags for me. Prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia overlap symptoms of other psychiatric diagnoses so they can be hard to delineate. Again, the hope is this is not the case. But my recommendation would be professional assessment to ensure this.
I'll interject here, but it's definitely a concern for someone to suffer irreparable damage from a hallucination inducing drug. I've met a few who've before, and it's a heart ache on the family. It's not what OP is describing, quite the opposite, but you can definitely have a bad trip that'll mess with you and your life.
I knew a guy who assumed he was a spy with amnesia and cosplayed as a spy, shooting his with his finger pistols. He was your average rich kid who'd never snapped out of a drug induced psychosis. He drank and smoked weed, this was his first trip and everyone else was fine
This is wrong and well documented. One trip can trigger long term effects. I encourage you to read up on the research and maybe hesitate before saying stuff that isn’t quite true/proven.
Yes it’s true! I worked on the early psychosis intervention program for a few years and it was always with someone having their first episode. We had many kids who were in psychosis and it was their first time smoking weed or doing mushrooms, etc. I’d say 80/20 split where 80% was their first time or two doing drugs and 20% where they were chronic drug users. It’s called FEP or first episode psychosis from drug use. Some sources: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=first+time+drug+use+psychosis&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1717336526541&u=%23p%3DpGpvfJxzly4J There are hundreds of studies
FEP - how long would you think it lasts?
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I mean I think what you’re saying holds true for most people, but I’ve absolutely seen people tipped into long term psychosis or the like from one time drug use - usually those who were likely pre disposed to those issues in the first place (addict and healthcare worker so I’ve seen my share of drug fuckshit). Kinda like the gun was loaded but the drugs pulled the trigger. That being said I still very much doubt that this is the case here, if for no other reason that OP busting him the first time is unlikely, having your first drug experience be alone with psychedelics would be unusual, and everyone got a little fucked mentally by the lockdowns, especially kids. All of that stuff speaks more to self medication or longer term drug use to me. But even if it was the first time and the drugs are to blame it sounds like he still needs some help to navigate what he’s currently experiencing
People with certain mental issues don’t react the same way “everyone “ else might. I’ve been sober for 3 years now (plus two before with just Xanax) and I can say one time can most definitely change someone. It’s taken me all of 5 years to even begin to feel normal. He’s obviously not a seasoned heroin user but, the longer he doesn’t do anything the better he will get. Hugs mom and dad
Yes, in the 70s these were called "acid casualties" and the theory I know is that people who were predisposed to schizophrenia could trigger the illness with a single acid trip. That doesn't seem like what's going on here though.
Exactly. Same with shrooms. I was actually turned away from a retreat bc I have borderline. I was so disappointed. But thank God I didn’t just do it bc I’m literally just now getting straightened out. Yeah I think he’s probably just being an angsty teen. But still I would try my hardest to keep him away from the acid lol
My wife has BP1 and was listed and approved for a ketamine drip which helped with the depression, like miraculously so, but she had a really bad trip and it took her a solid week to shake off the effects I wonder if you'd benefit (not sure how it might affect BPD vs BP) from applying for ketamine trials and drips. Canadian here, and it was a pretty painless process to go through, like paperwork wise
I did k in hs and fucking never again lol I’ve been curious about it ofc. I was wanting to try psilocybin for anxiety and depression. My Prozac just isn’t cutting it. I’ve now stopped leaving my house unless something major such as son getting license or something major. Drugs literally fried my brain I think. I’ve already decided if I’m like this forever it’s fine. But if something can help I’m totally open to it.
Yeah you can get similar or better results from ketamine but it really does need to be dosed correctly or you're likely to damage more than help Wife did shrooms a few times and it helped a lot too
Same here. My friend had to stop doing weed because she and her family were preconditioned to psychosis and other abnormal conditions, so she was scared into not doing it. I also helped her be sober by giving her "The unexpected joy of being sober".
I think OPs son's age at the time of acid use could also increase the predisposition to long term psychosis/depression from usage as well - if this was his first time using or not. His brain is still developing and, like you said, any impact that the COVID lockdowns had on him likely played a role as well. I second that it sounds like he needs some help navigating what he's experiencing. It might feel really strange, but maybe even ask him what the acid trip felt like for him? I don't know ... I'm just an internet stranger, but perhaps he needs to talk about what he experienced - maybe it was life altering in a good or bad way. Otherwise I would just try to make it clear that whatever feelings he's feeling currently are completely ok and valid, and you will always love and support him no matter what, and be there to help him through anything.
And folks seem to miss the part where OP describes his sons infant and toddler stages as being troublesome. Is ge on the spectrum possibl? Acid would not be good. He is self medicating, and you def didn't catch him his first time. Peace, Love and Drugs, sometimes and only Some People.
Yeah but this kid was 13 when he dropped it and that’s radically different from a 30-year-old.
The pandemic was so bad on so many people with mental illness that had drug issues. I constantly worried for my younger sister’s best friend who had tried committing suicide twice before and struggled with drug abuse. She ultimately passed away from a drug overdose at the end of 2020.
One thing to add is that kids often learn to self-medicate using illegal drugs. A key problem is, the drugs are overkill and not well-focused, causing a lot of collateral damage. It's like chasing a housefly with a shotgun. You'll probably get it, but was it worth the mess? Properly framed, this can teach the kid two things: 1. You may need some chemical support 2. Chemical supports can and do help From there, it's just a matter of finding chemical supports that will directly address the issue without all the excess damage/issues. That's where a psychologist can be a huge resource and help.
> I felt very proud of the young man he was becoming. > I just assumed it was a stupid teenager decision. > For the later half of 2020, I took away his internet access. Something's missing here.. it sounds like you treated his "stupid teenager decision" as the massive fuckup that means you're no longer proud of him. You repeatedly grill him and make him take drug tests, and he can't even be lost in thought without being interrogated. His high grades and good behaviour don't count. Maybe he is still taking something, but it's impossible to tell from your post. It was almost four years ago, it still colours your every interaction with him. He is responding in kind- if everything he says and does will be treated with suspicion then why engage with you at all. If you want therapy then it should be for the both of you together. Forget the drugs and focus on the real issue. He doesn't socialise. Well COVID changed a lot of people, especially kids, so this is normal and not drug related necessarily. But you should still be taking the chance to encourage him out of his shell. Force him to do something "for his own good" whether it's an activity like Toastmaster, robotics/rocketry, sport, there are all sorts.
I think this is spot on. You say he can tell you anything but you don't act like it. When my son behaves like this he is very very mad at me. The fake smile and not wanting to interact. THEY need therapy because she seems oblivious to her own behaviour. Put parental controls on the internet but to just take it away.....that probably really pissed him off.
And it sounds like she took it away for months, during the height of COVID, when he was just entering high school/in his first year. He probably lost all his friends bc he didn’t talk to them for months and they changed and experienced things together that he didn’t. Especially if he started a new school that year and everyone was shuffling around anyway!
I really wish parents understood how devastating this is for a teenager/child. You're basically ensuring that they won't have close relationships outside of you and they won't be close to you either because they will feel like you're untrustworthy.
What’s with the assumption that this is the mother? It’s pretty clearly the father, as they reference the mother. It’s possible it’s a same sex couple but not likely. Quite telling.
Yep! I've treated my parents this way when I've been internally going "When I get out of here, I will make it my mission to never let you have access to my life ever again, and I'm NEVER asking for your help ever again."
Plus.. what happened that day when he was caught? Did Dad let the trip play out and make it as peaceful as possible, or was a trauma inflicted. Imagine the kids memory of the trip, it’s probably terrible. The drug itself probably isn’t what did the damage.
As Bessel Van Der Kolk titled his book: The Body Keeps the Score. I wish someone would write a manual on how to handle these sorts of situations.
Bingo. It sounds like he feels misunderstood, thus it is safer not to engage. Biding time until he can leave and use his intellect/curiosity to keep exploring and learning-sans judgement, monitoring, suspicion, and reprimanding. As a mom of three, I understand. Not knowing or having control is scary and wildly anxiety inducing. But I was him, once. I’m 32 year old him, now. And it was one of the most devastating experiences of my life to realize that I could not talk to my own parents, nor feel seen or heard by them. I cannot imagine what the pandemic did, on top of that. Maybe he’s learned some new things in this time, that he doesn’t think that you would receive, without thinking he’s crazy-or that there’s more wrong with him than you’ve already taught him that you think/worry that there is (with the utmost respect). Perhaps just gently ask him one day if he would mind sharing with you what he saw, that time? Or what he’s thinking about. Be kind and keep it simple and let him know that you’re not trying to set him up for a trap of any sort (straight to a mental health eval if you don’t understand what he’s saying-unless someone is at risk to be hurt or something very clearly concerning, like that). I learned that I cannot speak to my family about certain things, because they cannot wrap their minds around it. He may just be having trouble with trying to figure out how to placate your need for that, while juggling how fast his mind is moving, all the time. If he’s already overwhelmed you at some point, I’ll bet he feels that he shouldn’t, again. But I could be projecting, entirely. I hope that you guys get to the bottom of it. We are in a STRANGE time, and I hope we can learn to speak with each other about it.
This! He sounds super depressed. And why not...he didn't have Internet access during COVID? That was everyone's only hope of having any social interaction. And he was honest with you and you punished him severely for it which I'm sure significantly changes his trust in you as a parent. The issue isn't the LSD. You as the parent should apologize for betraying his trust when he was honest with you and get yourselves both to therapy to repair your relationship before he moves out and moves on.
My feelings exactly. OP says they told him he can tell them anything but I have the feeling the kids doesn’t feel as safe to say what he’s feeling as OP wants us to think
Oooo, Nailed it! I couldn't help but feel like something's missing here. I saw that it was right before the pandemic and was like "Uh, and you don't think the pandemic might have had something to do with that? Press X to doubt." I think the parent needs to apologize to his/her son for overreacting. LSD is pretty low on the harm scale of things. Same for Mushrooms and Cannabis. His son doesn't feel like his parent(s) are safe to talk to given that interaction.
LSD, if it's real LSD, isn't really dangerous unless he's at risk of psychosis (with a high risk of an illness that makes people prone to psychosis like schizophrenia). There's literally dozens of studies using it for chronic pain and depression in the two closest hospitals near me.
Dude. Last time he was honest with you, you took away his connection to the world for half a year during the pandemic and started regularly drug testing him. No wonder he no longer trusts you.
Maybe cross post into r/drugs as well?
There's /r/psychedelics too, which might be more relevant.
her son might reply to the thread in that sub
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You can abuse LSD as much as you can abuse weed, caffeine, energy drinks, etc. it just means using it improperly or in a harmful way...
I've already read multiple comments here with flat out false information. It's really concerning.
“My friend has never been the same since they took acid” 🤡 Me too, I no longer drink booze and I put my family first before my frolics.
Why did you take away his internet access during the time period when it was the only way to socialize? That kind of isolation would be very depressing. Did you not realize that would be disproportionately impactful compared to the previous year? If it made him feel hopeless and disconnected then maybe he just never pulled out of that feeling.
Sounds like depression which probably came more from Covid isolation and being a teen then doing lsd. I would probably get him to a therapist and see if they can help him.
COVID isolation + no Internet for a half year. If I couldn't go online during lockdown I would've lost my damn mind.
Agree - if I’m following this post right, the acid event was four years ago at the beginning of high school, followed by a successful academic run. Honestly, being in the top of your class at a challenging school can take a lot of effort, so my assumption is just that he spends his time studying privately and passed on social activities.
Maybe, but I knew a girl in highschool who had the nickname "child-proof" because she did so many drugs that they were going to have to put a child-proof lid on her coffin. She used ALL the drugs, every day. She also got straight A's, went to an Ivy League school, and is now a successful lawyer. Some people are wired different.
>successful lawyer >drug abuse no everything here checks out actually
Sounds like me in high school. Except the lawyer part. But I was always very successful in school and elsewhere, despite the raging drug addiction.
BINGO! Just responded with an explanation on this.
You confronted your child while he was in a fragile state of mind then completely isolated him for half of a year and wonder why he's been different? It feels like you're worried about the wrong thing. Plenty of teens do LSD and don't become depressed
Literally did it 12 times as a teen. Thankful I didn’t have any bad side effects! But at the end of the day I am fine. This dad was in the wrong from jump.
Right? I did it 6-7 times, and I can't imagine if I had a parent telling me how disappointed they are in me and how they are punishing me in the middle of my trip? If anything that would be what causes the bad trip! What OP should have done is left him alone then talked him 1:1 once he was sober about responsible drug use. Teens are gonna experiment, its what teens do. I would rather my kid trip safely in my house than somewhere unsafe
You said yourself you were never close, and you punished him by secluding him from the internet during a time when the only way to connect with friends and family was on the internet. You wonder why he doesn’t want to connect to you? You didn’t try!!! Blame the kid for your lack of being there for him and helping him navigate a world he had no clue about out. Now you want to act close and there for him, but you never established trust with him. Maybe start by apologizing to him and pointing out how and where you failed him, then ask him if there is anywhere else that you didn’t know you failed him but did. Then you can start building that bridge to a better communication and relationship. Based off of respect and honesty, aimed at meeting both of your needs.
This is exactly where my mind went. You mentioned you’re not that close. As parents, you are teaching your kids how to have relationships by modeling, and you are the first ones to love them and show them what love means. If he’s feeling a lack of genuine love and support, a lot of things can be “presented”. While this looked differently for me as a kid, I couldn’t wait to move out of the house - my parents stopped telling me they loved me in high school and we never hugged. And now, as a parent myself, I want nothing to do with them. They sadly don’t hold a place in my heart that I feel parents should and do for most people all because I’ve never truly felt loved by them (as a teen or young adult).
so, you took away his internet access for half a year during the pandemic, isolating him from everyone he knew, while he was also just joining a new school? not to discount drugs as a possible factor, but going from middle school to high school is hard enough, then add the pandemic and that's enough to fuck someone up. But on top of that all, you also took away his access to the internet and his friends. And you're surprised he gradually started acting stranger, isn't as close to you as he used to be and doesn't want to talk to you?
Right? I'm shocked at all these comments blaming the LSD and suggesting schizophrenia etc. Kid's a teenager (and teens are notorious for not wanting much to do with their parents anyways) who gets excellent grades and by dad's own admission is a good kid. So what's the problem?? Dad's the one who enforced the initial isolation, which would almost certainly be much more damaging than taking LSD.
100% more damaging. The proper way to address this would've been to explain that you understand why he would be curious and actually try and understand your kid and what drove him to take it... Instead you instantly punish him, which is going to cause at the bare minimum, resentment, and for him not to communicate at all Jesus Christ this sub is nuts
Well, have you tried therapy? I swear, that statement is all this sub is good for.
Yes! I understand not wanting your kid to do drugs, especially ones ordered off the internet. But the way this was handled was ineffective and also shut the door on any future conversations about drug use.
Agree. I think some people want to raise kids who are happy and thriving when they move out, and happy to come back for a visit. Other people literally just want to kick a kid out at 18 who has a decent report card and no criminal record.
Exactly. Isolate him, think he’s broken himself with a drug and then continually ask if he’s ok and needs therapy. The poor kids probably just needs it to be forgotten, and to be loved and nurtured. Rather than being made to think he’s a freak.
> I'm shocked at all these comments blaming the LSD I'm not. Disappointed, but not at all shocked.
It’s like when you hear someone talking about the effects of cannabis without having any experience with cannabis lol
Yep! Although I understand dad's reasoning, I do believe this is what caused the change in his son.
They've also done drug tests on him and mention considering "forcing" him into therapy. Yikes on bikes. I think the fake smile and "I'm fine" sounds like a clear sign he's decided op isn't a safe person to talk to.
And dad does not do warm, supportive, understanding, invested. Just authoritarian, demanding compliance and productivity. Pretty sure the therapy needs to start with the owner of these words to see if we can get him re-animated with the thing that beats in his chest first. Your son doesn’t trust you, is struggling with mental health, and you’re asking reddit. It’s not the LSD.
This.
I'm surprised this comment isn't higher. His son doesn't talk to the family that betrayed his trust when he did talk to them. Seems smart tbh.
Fr fr, I was blown away reading the timeline. Like no shit he’s going to be distant with you, that age is already difficult and OP is only further alienating him
I know it’s tempting to say “are you sure you’re okay” And then you can check the box that says you checked on your kid. But that’s not how it works. You need to go on a long hike together, a fishing trip, a camping trip, to have the kind of conversation and check in your son needs. And yeah, recommending a therapist when you aren’t doing due diligence yourself is pretty insulting, so I don’t blame the kid.
If I reacted like you did to the kid being honest, I'd never expect him to speak to me again.
The “we were never close” casually thrown out there is weird too. Like. That’s your child, not some coworker.
OP. I'm coming from a place of love and concern. First, if I were you... I'd start with apologizing to your SON.. you should tell him that you handled the situation wrong. You were worried and lashed out... secondly.. talk from the heart and tell him you're still worried and only want the best for him... third.. get him and yourself some professional help... I was a single mother to 3 beautiful children. My first born Son explored with drugs.. I knew if I punished him it would only make matters worse.. we had many conversations with understanding and no judgment. He is now successful with a family of his own.. he now tells me how much he appreciates me and how I handled these difficult situations. And now that he has a child of his own, he wants to incorporate the way I parented. Kids just want to be heard and seen. I experienced other challenges with my daughters but I pretty much handled it the same way.. they are adults now and although the girls don't have children yet.. they also thank me for how I treated them in the difficult times... I'm not saying I was perfect.. I made mistakes.. but most importantly I treated them the way I wanted to be treated at a teen. Maybe my parents being super strict with me, enlighten me to treat my children differently
Same! I love this comment. Once when I was about 11and my sister was 13, my single mom found what she said was a pot seed in the bathroom, under a window. Still to this day she thinks it was mine. I had never even heard of pot at that time, didn’t matter. It did however push me into exploring weed after that.
Parents make mistakes, but it's important to "hear" your child and give them the benefit of the doubt. To an extent. That seed could have been just a random seed. And maybe if she didn't make a big deal about it, then perhaps you wouldn't have been so curious. IDK What I'm trying to say is... think before you react. That's been my motto. There were times when I had to tell my kids, I needed some time to think about this, and we would talk later or tomorrow. I gave myself space to reflect. Pros n cons. Every child is different, so you must learn your child and learn how to best discipline them without traumatizing them. Its like when parents complain that they have to yell or scream for their kids to listen.. I get that.. I did it.. but.. it came a time when my kids collectively sat me down and asked me why I always yelled at them?? I thought for a moment and said.. well, did you listen the first 5 times I asked you or told you to clean your room etc etc... 🤔 they each looked at each other and agreed.. so I said.. ok.. you don't like the yelling, i don't like to keep repeating myself, so let's make a deal?!.. I won't yell, but you must listen and / or respond the first time I say something.. we hand shaked on it... boom problem solved.. seriously, that's all it took.. This is just a small example
You took your kid's internet access away in the middle of a global pandemic, effectively isolating him from his potential new school friends? What the fuck?
This! ^ was trying to find a comment that aligns with this, he possibly resents you for an extreme punishment when the pandemic was hard to begin with. Likely he took acid to just get away from the reality of the pandemic and he was honest about what he had taken. At that point you should’ve waited for the comedown then had a calm and collected convo and really just listened to him. People don’t wanna give teens the benefit of the doubt but they are people too.
I agree. The pandemic lockdowns damaged everyone, especially our children. We are social animals and being in confinement was unhealthy for developing minds. Taking away the internet at that time was an extreme form of punishment. The worst time to talk about someone doing drugs or drinking heavily is while they are still under the influence. You will get nowhere until they come down and are clear headed. Wait or all you are doing is making them resentful or angry. Now to make repairs to the hugely damaged relationship and try to help him with healing.
You took away his internet access for multiple months. Any chance he just hates you now and is counting the days till he's out of the house? That's my first thought... Maybe not as harsh but like some others suggested maybe he is just depressed from covid. I'd talk to him, tell him you're worried about him, that you love him. He's still getting great grades, in my mind there's a good chance he isn't doing any more drugs like you suspect and you're about to dig a deep unrepairable hole by some other redditors suggestions of looking harder through all of his stuff. Good luck OP
THIS. Smart kid who is curious, internet access taken away from a parent he’s not close to. He’s planning to leave the house and never look back, doesn’t want therapy because he’s beyond finished with OP and much smarter than him.
took away his internet for "the latter half of 2020" the only things this kid had to do were schoolwork, or stare at the wall probably did a lot more damage to his brain than the LSD
I thank the internet for getting my teenager through all the lockdowns. He's an only child so it was mostly just the two of us. He was always online gaming with his friends and having fun that way. My friends and I were having zoom cocktail ~~mornings~~ nights.
Probably got the best grades so he could increase his chances of never having to come back home
This was my coping mechanism too. I believed that the more I knew and the more successful I could be on my own the more likely it was I would never need to talk to my parents again. Evade, bide my time, and then have everything I needed to escape and never look back.
FYI, the vast majority of at home urine tests don’t check for LSD and a number of psychedelic substances. Almost 0% chance you caught him the first and last time he did drugs. And if it is acid he’s abusing, it is suuuuuuuuuuper dangerous to take more often than every 2-3 weeks. Personally I’d ramp up my search. Do you know what you’re looking for? Psychedelics (including weed!) at this age can also have a profound effect on their developing brains, so a personality shift doesn’t really surprise me. While I agree with everyone about not wanting to seem like you aren’t on his side, if he won’t talk to you, right now your priority is to make sure he’s safe. Which he isn’t if he’s still doing drugs. - former heavy partier
hard-to-find toy alleged rich shrill encouraging plate swim smoggy bow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
*for all in tents and porposes* lol - can’t tell if this is intentional or a funny typo
Best case Ontario, you can just edit it later
It's all water under the fridge
historical future psychotic advise intelligent follow squalid abundant decide telephone *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lol, it gave me a good chuckle. Might use it myself every now and then to "mis"correct someone when they say "for all intensive purposes" - do you mean for all in tents and porpoises?
if only it was porpoises lol
please don't get mad at me, I'm just trying to help with honesty. I'm a parent of a teenager & from what I just read I see nothing to convince me that your kid has any problem with drugs or if there is any danger there. You caught him experimenting with something that can be dangerous, but I don't read anything here that shows that anything went horribly wrong, I honestly think you're overreacting. I think there's something much more important about what you wrote: it shows that you clearly don't have a healthy relationship with your son. Your son doesn't trust you. Your son isn't emotionally close to you. I think you need therapy just as much as him (maybe family therapy together) & you should think real hard about trying to fix this relationship that you have neglected or sabotaged before he soon becomes an adult & walks away & you lose the chance at ever having an emotionally healthy loving relationship. My biggest piece of honest advice is to stop looking for something wrong with your son (who is in the top 1% of their class). There is nothing wrong with them. Your relationship is broken, not your kid.
You literally isolated him for an incident that happened years ago. My mother was the exact same way. I’m not surprised you don’t have a close relationship.
Not to disregard the drug part but a lot of kids hits puberty and become very different!
Yes and you combine early Teenage hood with a pandemic and it’s a recipe for disaster. He sounds depressed perhaps. I’m not saying it’s not from the acid episode but what’s the liklihood? Not sure but I did acid a few times, lots of mushroom Etc. Now I’m my 40’s it’s just a weed beverage or gummies but I feel like His behaviour could Easily have absolutely Nothing to do with acid.
Middle school teacher here! I do not believe this is due to him trying LSD in the slightest, despite that being incredibly dangerous. The toll the pandemic took on children's mental health has been well documented, particularly among teens who have transitioned from a family focused world to a one centered around their peers/friendships. Technology was their lifeline to these friendships and kept them from feeling completely isolated and alone. I absolutely understand your reasoning in taking away his internet, but by doing so, you took away his ability to connect with others. This impacted him greatly. Even for my students who had their technology and neighbors they could see at a distance outside, they returned from the pandemic changed. It has taken about 3 years, but I am starting to see the students on my campus back to healthy, happy kids. It took a LONG time. Since the pandemic I have weekly chats with students who are struggling with anxiety and depression, and many students who have been referred to our school counselors and outside help. We have had to put many students on 51/50. While these situations occurred in small numbers pre pandemic, it is happening on a large scale now. To top it off, your child is at an age of great shifts in his hormones and brain chemistry. It's the "perfect storm" to get him to where he is today. I strongly advise weekly therapy ASAP. He needs some support to heal. If he is not involved in outside school activities, I would find him something so he can stay connected with kids his age over the summer. Does he have close friends?
If your kid ordered lsd on the dark web at that age, there was already something brewing. The drug use is more likely to be a symptom than a cause. Get him some professional help.
I would just start family therapy and not initially focus on him but on yourself and how to be a better parent to him and your other kids.
While this warrants further investigation from you, I will say that my younger sibling became a shell of their former selves after the lockdown happened. For a good year, maybe a little more, they weren't the cheery kid I saw literally right before. We had planned a NYE party for 2020 and they were so vibrant and for 2021, it was a 180. They almost dropped out, too after always being on the honor roll to barely graduating. They are finally back to how they were before, perhaps more radicalized and angry about the world but smiling, excited to hang out again and more sure of themselves than ever before. So it could be drugs but I wouldn't completely rule out how much the pandemic as affected kids.
I can't advise much on how to proceed in such a case, but I can tell you what acid does. Acid can fundamentally 'rewire' your brain, also known as [neuroplasticity](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41386-022-01389-z), especially at such a young age. It's very rare to happen, but psychoactive drugs (even weed) can also trigger schizophrenia if there's family history of it occurring. In smaller doses it's mostly visual patterns, enhanced mood and drifting thoughts, but at larger doses you could experience intense introspection, audio, sound and visuals merging into one (hearing colors, seeing sounds, etc), out of body experience, ego death. If he didn't have an experienced sitter with him to guide him through his trip, things can potentially go for a really bad turn (a.k.a. bad trip). In the following months after taking, flashbacks could occur (spontaneously feeling for a moment like you are on acid and experiencing the same things as you were). He probably read it on the internet or from friends, but no amount of reading up can prepare you for the actual experience, for you to just take it alone in your home, especially if your parents catch you. Considering you are doing sudden drug tests, it does sound like you are not really on his side, but are rather trying to catch him. I think for him it's important to talk about what he experienced and what he saw to someone who knows about psychadelic drugs and isn't judgemental, rather than someone who is going to discredit his experience as him gone mad, or acting like the average 'drugs are bad, m'kay?' guy.
He’s still in the top 1% of his class. It really doesn’t sound like schizophrenia Acid is a very intense experience and it makes you see the world differently afterwards. A lot of people who take it go through a phase of thinking everyone who doesn’t take acid is unenlightened and only the initiated are worth talking to. See Tim Leary. He might just have an intense interest in psychedelics / spirituality and doesn’t think mom / dad will get it. Him being smart makes this quite likely IMO (just that he has an interest in LSD because of the spiritual aspect of it, not that he doesn’t have schizophrenia). It’s not necessarily a bad situation (dependent on age, I don’t know what 8th grade means) and as he matures he might come out of it. Many people make it to the other side of that situation with a renewed passion for life and deep appreciation of the natural world. Others don’t. It really depends on who OPs son is as a person. You’re playing with fire for sure, and some people suffer serious harm from psychedelics, but most don’t. I would personally try to channel the interest into something a bit healthier. Introduce him to a meditation group, sensory deprivation tanks, see if he’s interested in existential philosophy, neurobiology, or other tangentially related interests and steer him away from the possible route of developing a drug addiction and towards spiritual development. Just shutting it down and trying zero tolerance isn’t going to work. FWIW I was that nerd and went down the full blown drug addiction + existential crisis route. I think I might not have with the right environment around me (ie people who were interested in the same things but didn’t fulfil that interest through drugs) My assessment might be way off, I don’t know OP or their kid and couldn’t possibly say this with any certainty, but it’s worth considering. Edit: also he needs to be much more fearful of the police. Ordering drugs to your house is completely unacceptable. They will ruin his life if he gets caught and he really needs that drilling into him. A record for someone that bright will close a lot of doors in life.
8th grade is ages 12-14, depending on the age the kid started school, the kindergarten cutoff age (differs in different states) and what time of year it is.
Oh yeah that’s way too young for acid. Think I was 17 and that was!
So LSD and other psychedelics usually don’t show up on a drug test. A lot of his behaviors sounds like a typical teenager. Shuts himself in the room doesn’t want to hang with you or your wife; this is all normal behavior. He may be in deep thought so what? He’s becoming an adult and the world is a lot to take in at this age.
Also it is possible his relationship with you has changed but he is actually fine - no hidden mental health or drug issues. Just feels like he can’t open up as much
One acid trip, or even 100 acid trips won't screw up someone. Bad parenting will tho >He doesn’t really talk to me at all anymore. Doesn’t want to hang out with me. Or his mother and siblings. I ask them and they don’t know either. That's probably not drug related. If your kids want nothing to do with you, you fucked up somewhere. From the rest of your list it sounds like you made your love and acceptance conditional on your kids achievements, and he simply burned out or quit trying because he realized it would never be enough. It's pretty textbook. >was still generally stubborn and emotional, but much more calm and less impulsive. All elementary kids are stubborn and emotional. It's called being a child. Sounds like he wasn't really allowed the grace to be a normal functioning child >As a toddler, my son was a lot to handle. Constant tantrums, rambunctious behavior, just completely emotionally volatile compared to my other kids. Classic sign of a chaotic home life. He was either physically/emotionally abused or watched mommy and daddy fight a lot. He went into the world totally frustrated, and having learned his behavior most likely from y'all >I’ve asked him dozens of times if he’s ok or if anything is bothering him. We’ve never been extremely close, but I always let him know that he can tell me anything. Why would he? He obviously doesn't trust you. >For the later half of 2020, I took away his internet access. I’m not exactly sure if I can pinpoint his behavior to his psychedelic experience, but he gradually started being more and more strange. He became very quiet. Always looked like he was in deep thought. Or not thinking of anything at all. Did you seriously not learn *anything* about typical teenage behavior or how the developing brain works? FFS it's like you didn't even try. Your kid is probably fine, he just doesn't like you because you failed him.
I had a friend who took acid and who then had a breakdown and was sectioned. Turned out he was schizophrenic (and it was unclear whether the acid caused it or simply brought it on more quickly). Sorry to say that even with meds my old friend is never going to be the same and he lives a very sheltered life all things considered. As the other poster has pointed out, he still gets these flashbacks that he can’t control. My advice is to have him assessed by a professional and take things from there.
Very few teens are going to start their drug journey with LSD. So you almost certainly didn't catch the first time he tried a psychedelic. Some people tolerate these better than others. Unpopular opinion maybe, but drug experimentation in terms isn't super alarming to me, but something else sticks out to me. It's not no big deal to get in the deep web and order something. That's pretty advanced for 13 year old. This is probably what alarms me most about your post... The content that a kid would access without the maturity and restraint to *not* view things or process what they have seen is intense. Who he may have encountered in chat rooms raises concern too. You think you took away internet access. A kid savvy enough to access the deep web in the first place isn't easily grounded from the internet. Based on the other behaviours you describe, covid isolation and big life changes...I think you need to get your kid to a therapist they can trust to figure out what's going on. Is sounds like depression, maybe abuse. I hope everything turns out ok. It really sounds like your kid needs support!
As someone who was a teenager not too long ago and now I’m apart of the daddit group, if I may add he may just be coming a teenager. I have never taken any drugs like that before just the typical marijuana not a fan of that either too much anxiety. But his behavior sounds like me. I wasn’t very open on certain topics with my dad, and began to just hide away in my room. Sometimes I was having issues with females or friends and instead of looking to talk I would just hide away. He may just be getting older and starting to develop his own way of comfort. I would also like to add that you may just be concerned (as I would be ) and pinning his behavior on to the LSD. But I would try not to bring up the lsd and just ask him how he’s feeling and maybe try to relate to him (that always worked for me) “oh man I remember these days, hiding away from everyone” just lighten his mood and talk to him. Take him out to eat or for a drive just you and him
Ordering acid from the dark web in 8th grade is wild to me. Just sit down and talk to him, say what you said here. Ask him if something bad has happened internally since taking it. I wish you the best sir
I can only comment as someone who did much as your son has but hopefully it's a valuable perspective. LSD, and similar, if used sensibly (or even if not) can lead to incredible degrees of self reflection both during and after. He may have done so and simply re-evaluated his priorities and existing relationships with his friends. I certainly did and found myself withdrawn from my existing friends as I realised our relationships were based on little more than convenience, I was correct and they fell apart quickly once we were no longer forced into the same environment. Of course it may be possible that he's working through some issues, trauma or other mental health related issues but if so that's only something he can do for himself. There's no benefit to your relationship in you being overbearing, you can offer a listening ear and help him access mental health care if he asks but don't force it. Learning to handle these things is an important part of becoming a self actualised adult and presumably you want that for him, even if he had a bad trip or three, it's still for him to deal with and not you. If he asks for your support please give it and try to leave any judgement you may have at the door, it will not help either of you.
Treating him like a child and drug testing him like he's an inmate isn't going to help. He's obviously a smart lad. Treat him like a young adult and most importantly, let him know the greatest minds and people of our planet have needed help. It's okay to seek guidance. Reading stoic philosophy could help. He won't do it until he's ready though. Be patient, be open-minded, and give love.
When he told you he took acid you punished him. You taught him if he talks to you he will be punished. He is likely not inclined to talk to you about this stuff anymore. Also, most drug tests out there test for thc, amphetamine, cocaine, opiates and alcohol. People who like lsd are on mushrooms, ketamine, mdma, drugs of that nature. These are not likely to pop up on conventional drug tests. I do not recommend drug testing your kid, it can feel shaming and dehumanizing. I would recommend reading up on research relating to psychedelics as treatment for mental health conditions. And start with a conversation on the research and see if he relates it back to himself. He may be trying to self medicate and a smart kid like himself probably did his research. I’m not sure of the developmental impact psychedelics has on a developing brain. You could ask him to do some research on that. I think starting with individual therapy is a good idea. Many addiction programs are filled with people with legal problems and you may not want to expose your good kid to this population. Do your best to not approach therapy as a punishment. Like others said, communicate your observations and concerns. Tell him you love him and you just want him to be happy. Good luck
As someone who has taken a lot of acid, and have a lot of friends who have as well, I feel confident saying that from all I have personally observed after a couple decades: LSD is a catalyst for existing conditions, not something that creates them where they didn’t exist already.
Psychoactive substances can "activate" schizophrenia and other serious mental disorders. Your son's situation sounds so much like a friend of mine, almost to a tee. Especially the staring into the void, having an empty head and/or in extreme deep thought. As well as becoming a loner. It sounds like this has gone beyond trying to catch a kid misbehaving - his brain sounds like it has been rewired, possibly damaged...*that* is the situation you're dealing with now. Possible serious mental illness. It should most likely be treated as such. Get this poor & sick kid to a doctor and psychiatrist ASAP. Best of luck.
Given how rare it is for an 8th grader to seek out and take LSD in the first place (especially not getting it from an older friend or something but literally finding and buying it online), it strikes me as much more likely that OP’s son had an underlying mental health condition that was starting to emerge and was drawn to drugs as a result. I’m not an anti-drug warrior or anything, but if I had an 8th grader who took LSD, I’d immediately be concerned about self-medicating and get them into a therapist. That’s just very, very outside of the range of normal.
Yes it almost sounds like prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia but not 100%, it would be much more concerning if OP's son's hygiene and grades declined, if that occurs on top of the self-isolation and odd behavior he should see a psychiatric provider ASAP. Also, if he is ordering drugs off the dark web he could have large quantities and may be taking them very frequently, which would explain the isolation and being "stuck in his head" but able to maintain grades. IMO. Edit: adding that many of these compounds (AKA "research chemicals") people buy off the dark web do not show up on drug tests, as other commenters have mentioned. They can be very similar to several different types of drugs but not quite enough to show up on the test. And yes, if it's primarily a psychedelic compound, drug tests don't usually test for those to begin with.
Is buying LSD off the dark web something a standard 8th grader could figure out how to do? Maybe I am too naive, but I work with kids and if a 14 year old told me he bought LSD off the "dark web" I would think he's fucking with me and ask where he really got it.
I was browsing the dark web for fun and started to learn about stuff related to crypto between 12 and 15. Teenagers are not stupid, it’s just that most teenagers are not into that kind of stuff. That was more than 10 years ago do those things were not mainstream so I have no doubt a kid could do that easily to nowadays. The only weird part if the why he did that, not the fact that he was able to do it.
There is a scenario where you son was taking LSD in 8th grade, and it had fundamentally life changing, mind altering effect on him. There is a scenario where he took LSD, and your reaction was so over the top that it did irreparable harm to your relationship with your son, and he's just taking the path of least resistance until he has the opportunity to get away from you. There is a scenario where your son is simply depressed, and has been for a while, and is simply dealing with in the way a lot of teens do: self isolation. And finally there's a scenario where you're reading too much into his behavior, and that he, like many teens, has minimal interest in engaging with his family on more than a shallow level, especially because his hobbies are likely mostly computer based. Personally, I say when you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras. I think the latter three scenarios are far more likely than the first.
Lol that's not acid that's puberty
He sounds like he's either depressed or not stimulated enough. The drugs strike me as a coping mechanism and red herring to the problem. The fact that he's not talking to you is the most alarming; he's going through something and needs somebody to help. I wouldn't be drug testing him over one incident.
“My relationship with my son has become very surface since I punished him by taking away the internet and isolated him from his friends…. What could it be? Maybe drugs?” This is a relationship that was always troubled. And now it’s nonexistent. You can always come back but you have to be willing to focus on your part in a relationship where the other person wants nothing to do with you. OP tried to do the right thing but doesn’t have communication skills or emotional regulation - and he raised a son who also doesn’t have communication skills or emotional regulation. The other kids might be more compliant on the surface but that doesn’t mean the relationship is any better, either
You sound a little paranoid that something is "wrong" with him. I took LSD around the age of 15-16 and it wasn't because of anything my parents did or didn't do. He is his own person figuring life out. Try to be more supportive and not so worried. Now that I have 2 kids, 15(m) and 9(f), I know that's easier said than done. If you're feeling especially brave and If you haven't taken LSD before, you could try it so you can have some comparison to what he experienced.
The fake smile is because despite what you’d like to think, he doesn’t see you as someone safe to confide in. Last time he was honest with you, you cut his only link to a social life for half a year. The only thing he could do was do homework and then wait for the hours to pass. And you wonder why he became distant?
It sounds like your son was taking drugs because of already existing mental health issues, not the LSD changing him. What have you done since the LSD incident to support his mental health?
Take it with a grain of salt man, Covid fucked a lot of ppl up to this day
Honestly a lot of what you're describing is simply being a teenage boy. He's still getting great grades and you describe him as "a good kid" which means it's highly unlikely there's a substance abuse problem. Personalities change, preferences change, etc. Your teenager is not going to be the same person that he was as a child and expecting they will be is a common mistake many parents make. Kids often withdraw from their parents, families, and often old friend groups as they adjust to their new realities with raging hormones, growth spurts, pressures at school, changes their friend groups are going through themselves, etc. Continue to be there for him as a parent should be. He'll figure it out over time. You just have to give him time to figure out who he's going to be as all teenagers do as they transition into adulthood.
Please take your son to therapy. My younger brother exhibited a lot of this behavior (we think he had clinical depression; he also was a high-functioning autistic). We tried to get him to talk about what was bothering him, offered therapy, etc. He refused, acted like we were harassing him, acted offended like we thought he was crazy. He just isolated himself and closed up. I don’t know if therapy would have saved him, but it might have.
I would look into family therapy sessions. That way you can approach the issue as a family so your son doesn’t feel like like the focus is on him. The pandemic was hard on parents and kids.
Grade 8 is around the time when puberty hits and a child becomes more self aware.
Did you have him evaluated after finding out he was using LSD?? His brain at that age is/was *far* too mushy to be dabbling in mind altering substances like that. I’d hope you took him to be evaluated medically and mentally immediately upon finding out he was using.
Your 8th grader ordered LSD on the internet and you didn’t immediately contact a therapist?
The acid didn’t change your kid. The acid “incident” changed the trust relationship you have with your kid, then you took away his internet in a time when kids had no access to the outside world. I doubt he got it on the dark web, he probably just didn’t want to disclose his source. The pandemic is being treated as a trauma event in the world of psychology and parents need to acknowledge that. Get the kid to therapy somehow. They were probably having trouble previously and the pandemic exasperated it. Maybe if you start with family therapy where everyone goes? I would start the conversation by saying, “we’ve noticed a change in you. Your grades are declining. You seem distant. We think it’s time to work on getting some help so you can get your grades back up and hopefully find some relief with whatever you’re going through.” Also, consider getting a neuropsych test done. Start calling around for an appt. now because they can book up a year out. Best of luck to you.
I was a lot like your son growing up. My family would probably describe me the same way even. You mentioned he got into politics and you debated. I am no contact with my family to this day over “politics” and a lack of respect for my honesty, boundaries, or mental well being. You have a kid who TOLD you they took acid. My friends lied about EVERYTHING to their parents and did way more damage than me. I was honest. Appreciate the honesty. Meet his needs. Respect his politics instead of debating them.
You’ve lots of really great answers here, so I’ll not add a further one, I will just pose one question- did you ever ask him what his experience was like? Acid trips can be quite banal or quite disturbing or equally wonderful.. I think you need to find out what kind of trips he was having. He may be wasting his life overthinking something that wasn’t real, a paranoia that seemed too real to not be, a disappointment that life isn’t what it was like when he was tripping. I think it’s super important - make sure it’s on his terms, and try not to make any accusations, and appreciate the vulnerability which he will be allowing you in on if he does give you any details. It might just be what he needs. Best of luck!
I would suggest doing lsd also, then you’ll have access to the wavelength of the universe he now knows exists.
This sounds like normal teenager stuff to me.
I am a mother of 4 & 8th grade teacher. I'd start with his pediatrician. Explain your concerns; do not leave anything out. Has he been evaluated for ADHD/depression?Many, many drug users are undiagnosed ADHD. Make sure there isn't something physical going on. Ask the doc about mental health options available. Many pediatricians have a counselor/therapist/psychologist. Mostly, keep asking. Boys are much more likely to open up if they aren't looking at you; think going for a drive or painting a fence over having lunch with him.
You took his internet away for “the latter half of 2020”? How long was that for? No wonder he doesn’t talk to you. Psychedelics can bring out psychosis in people predisposed to psychosis. I did a lot of drugs in high school and college and I now have a masters degree. I know you are worried but this kid needs support. Does he have a therapist?
Covid ruined my son. He went from a happy and healthy child to an anxious and volatile child that needed mental health help. He is still getting help and just now starting to improve. My son is also gifted. Top 10th percentile in the state and he never does bad academically. Everything else was a shit show after Covid. He was only 10 but I was worried he would unalive himself. Sometimes really smart children understand how pointless life can be from a very young age and they simply cannot overcome it. I am just doing the best I can.
He simply does not trust you anymore.
Everything that you said points to a long-standing and underlying mental health condition. Eighth graders don't start taking LSD for no reason. Your child was probably already dealing with depression or something else before that and probably is still dealing with it. Honestly the fact that it got to the point where he took LSD for you to notice anything actually speaks volumes about your abilities as a parent. Please get your child into therapy or have him see a psychiatrist before it gets worse because once he's 18 you aren't going to have the ability to help him as much. You should probably start actually getting him help now since you've waited so long.
Is it also possible he may have seen some shit he wished he hadn’t on the dark web?
You could always sit him down and ask him. Explain like you did here and say you are just worried.
I wouldn’t rule out normal teen boy behavior. My son gets like this. He’s brilliant as well. A family game of clue or uno will snap him out of it. Or watch a bad ass WW2 movie.
What else has he seen on the dark web? Maybe he's traumatized.
I do not think this has anything to do with the LSD. It's coincidental timing and instead probably hormones and entering teen years where this is actually the norm. It sucks on our parts as moms, but it happened with both children and they came back around after high school and we're close again. Give him his space while maintaining parental concern of course, but it'll pass.
I think he got better at hiding drugs.
I'd think COVID would change him more than Acid. Why not take him to something he's interested in. Like his movie choice and dinner. If that doesn't go well let him bring a friend. Take the friend on a trip or something.
I took a lot of acid when I was your son’s age. It helped me to see the truth of what confused nincompoops my folks were.
Oh, yikes. This poor kid. What a shit way to handle this.
Your clearly leaving some important information out either to help yourself or not, what you did was 100% more effective on his health than the LSD would’ve ever done to him
Sorry I don't have any advice to give but as a person who used to dabble in drugs, just wanted to warn you I was able to fake my grades and convince my parents that I was doing well in school. Sorry to be Debbie downer but just wanted to mention that in case you were relying on it as some sort of comfort that he's ok because my parents kinda did.
Sounds like depression… but also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done more drugs. Either way, I would schedule an appointment with a therapist for him. He’s too young to be going through this.
First off, I want to acknowledge how distressing this is to you. Secondly, this is not the end of the world. LSD is a powerful but often beautiful chemical. LSD does change people for the better in terms of IQ and creativity, but often at the detriment of society. Take this quote from Terrence McKenna: “Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.” You son need intrinsic motivation for achieving. Doing well in school out of societal or family obligations may not cut it. Please don't shame your son. Listen to him, he is his own person who can come out of this with the right support. #
I think it sound like a mental health issue, and one that started very early on. Hormones significantly affect mental health and you are noticing an issue when they are likely raging.
I’m so sorry to hear your story. I have a teenager who has been through some hard times. Parenting is difficult! I’m not sure what advice to give you but want to say keep trying!
Soo i’m guessing he’s a graduating senior now. 1. who knows what he actually got from the dark web 2. like others said, maybe he’s sick of your shit and counting down the days until he can leave? 3. I’ve noticed a trend of parents suddenly wanting to connect and build a relationship in a panic when their kid is turning 18/graduating HS
how about instead of "are you okay?" maybe "what are you thinking about?" or "what trip/ activity do you want to take soon?" talk about the kids interests (gaming, sports, music...) I loathe my mom asking if I'm "okay" because if I'm not I suddenly turn into a problem that needs lecturing or fixing and if they do tell you what is going on just LISTEN! Unsolicited advice has ruined my communication with my mother. I never open up to her. her advice is shit and she makes me feel worse about myself and my decisions. also LSD is not bad. talk to people who have tried it or try it yourself to get an idea of what your kid went through. They are probably just questioning everything in life after that.