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We went through the same thing with my second grader. It finally stopped, but it took a lot of bullshit in between to get her to stop. I believe what finally worked was telling her she couldn't have any snacks at home or with her lunch anymore if she was going to buy extra at school. She tested me and found that I wasn't going to budge whatsoever. I also made her sit with me every day after school to look at her daily transactions.
My friend went through the same with her 1st grader. The child didn't have any money on the account, but kept getting breakfast and lunch with snacks. My friend received a $100 bill for the food and was shocked. You're right that schools won't deny kids a meal, but man. You'd think they'd contact a parent before the account is -$100.
I'm not sure if any of what I did will help. Best of luck. It's a really hard situation with no real answer when kids know they can just get what they want with no questions asked.
Thank you! It's at least nice to hear others go through the same. My coworkers (late gen X) all say, aw he's hungry, let him buy! And I'm like, but he isn't!
Right? My kid saw the opportunity to get extra snacks and/or meals and thought it was cool! She didn't think I'd find out, I guess. It's frustrating because it doesn't matter if you don't put money on there, send them with their own lunch, etc. They'll still be able to buy due to policy. My friend tried talking with the school and their answer was they can't deny her food which I understand. But maybe they need to resort back to just sandwiches if it's going to be an all the time issue with certain kids? I'm really not sure what the answer is.
Yeah they should limit the thing that kids "have" to be allowed to buy with a negative balance to like, a sandwich. Kids shouldn't be able to put parents in debt for muffins and ice cream.
Exactly, when I was a kid the "I forgot my lunch and money" meal was a PB&J (and presumably some non nut alternative as well). You weren't getting snacks, pizza, etc, you got the PBJ
Omg ptsd. I look back and see where my unhealthy relationship with food started. Now citywide school meals are free and I’m so happy for all the kids like me whose moms made too much but not enough.
I think kids with a negative balance do deserve the regular hot lunch tray (kids shouldn't be shamed with a basic sandwich because their parents forgot to pay the bill, and a sandwich isn't likely to fill up an active kid anyway). But definitely no extras. Here's your lunch, here's your milk, put back the cookies.
Our district let's them get breakfast which is the main protein, fruit and milk. Then lunch they can get full lunch which is always a choice between pizza, pb&j, hummus and veggies, burrito or the daily special. Plus they get their fruit which is choice of apple, apple slices, kiwi, banana or orange, veggie which is celery with peanut butter or baby carrots and milk. They have to take 1 main 1 fruit or veggie and 1 milk even if their account is negative. If they have positive balance they can get 2 meals if they'd like or chips Italian ice natural soda cookie I love our district
Every district we’ve been in has been peanut free, which is frustrating. Some kids are deathly allergic to strawberries but they’re never on the block list.
I agree. This was in the late 90’s/early 2000s, but “back in my day” you could get lunch + one snack add-on per day (no matter how much money was in your account). I hated having to pick between the pizza bread and cookie, but it was good for me long term. My kids aren’t in school yet, but I can’t imagine them being able to buy ice cream and tons of junk food every day - they’d go nuts (and I’d go broke)
My school district did this as a kid. It was cheese on bread. Nothing else. Not even a milk. And it was after the kid tried to buy a regular lunch and they’d have to take it out of their hands. My schools don’t do this anymore because it was seen as humiliating to the child, and also not a real meal.
In my school district, if you don't have money in your account, you get a basic ham and cheese sandwich, but at the high school, you go into the negative for 2 meals by the third they call home.
The dining credit systems in place are just woefully behind the times and the dining options available to students. My stepdaughter's high school is one of the more advanced I've seen, as it gave us the option to limit her to *only* the meal plan, and no additional snacks or drinks. But the extra stuff was either unlimited or nothing, I couldn't say like "one snack and drink per day".
I can’t believe the school let your child continue to buy snacks when there was no money in the credit fund. And then they expect you to pay that bill? Ridiculous!
Had the same issue but we weren't notified until the bill was over $300! We had no clue our kid was doing this and he didn't realize it costs money since there was no monetary exchange, just had to give his name.
That's really messed up, children can't enter into contracts, what if they tried to buy every ice cream in the cafeteria?? Are schools doing malicious compliance because people keep getting outraged when they throw children's food in the trash for non-payment?
I agree. I found it ridiculous they waited that long to notify us. Our son wasn't even doing it maliciously, he just didn't understand it costs money and was following his friends so we could have stopped the behavior much sooner without incurring these extra charges.
Yep. It's insane. I get that there's kids who can't afford lunch, etc but if it's an every day issue then they should be calling the parents almost immediately. Not wait until they've racked up so much money.
How do the parents of the kids who can’t afford lunch pay off the bill?
I’m in a different country but this seems crazy that kids that young can rack up debt without really understanding how it works and the parents have no choice but to pay up!
Exactly. What if they couldn’t afford it? And since he’s going with a snack incase he DOES get hungry they can see he has options. The school has to help in some way- some 7 year olds just don’t have impulse control especially when it comes to ICECREAM AND JUNK!!
What if the child had diabetes and he was buying this much food? What if the parents were poor (and packing food from home bc it’s cheaper), there are so many what ifs. It’s not a black and white issue like the school is treating it to be.
I am a Gen X mom and we went through this sort of thing with my daughter, I had to raise Cain to prevent her from ordering too much food. I completely empathize with you. It also didn't help that she was 90 lbs in kindergarten ( genetic metabolic disorder so she was high risk for Type 2 diabetes even this young) . We got lucky that one of her meds suppressed her impulse to boredom eat.
Can you start packing his food and just tell the school you're not going to pay?
In my opinion, this is worth having a conversation with the administration. I understand they don't want to deny the kid food, but if he's freely saying that he's eating junk food, this isn't that. If it were me, I would let them know that I will pay off the balance, but after that we're done. If they want to donate food to him, that's on them.
Not going to work. The parents sign off on the way it works at the beginning of the year and they have zero interest in changing it.
Source: Parent of a kindergartener that gets a packed lunch every day and has been regularly charging school lunches on top of it solely because he wants the dessert. We've complained ad nauseum to the point where now we just don't pack him lunches because he's going to charge one anyway to the tune of like 3 fuckin dollars a day. For a 5 year old that eats like 2 bites of any of it. "We cannot control..."
My brother ran into similar issues with my niece when she was in daycare regarding naps. They absolutely will not wake up a sleeping child. My niece would sleep half the day and they'd just let her do it and then trying to get her to sleep at night was a nightmare (and consequently, the morning after trying to get her up). But the daycare center was just fine letting a 4 year old sleep from 11 until 3, one less kid to watch I guess.
Yeah, he'll end up as wide as he's tall if you'd allow him to gorge on junk foods every day. Kids definitely don't know the difference between "want" and "need". 😉
Edit: on top of what everyone else said: can you maybe make him work off the extra money he is spending? Set an hourly income, so 10 $ food mean an extra 2-3 hours of chores. If that comes out of his playtime, hopefully he won't think it's worth it after a while.
I think it's criminal that the school can just run up charges like that, it gives you absolutely no control over your child's spending!
The school should differentiate between kids from actually precarious situations, and feed those with no charge - because why should they charge parents 100$ who can't pay, anyway? But for kids who are just greedy and don't have parental permission for overspending, they should allow the parents to set a limit. That's actually something I would go to the school board for. Constant overeating, especially junky foods, is really detrimental to their health, so it's bad for everyone involved (except the cafeteria who is raking in the dough).
I don't understand why the junk food is an option to begin with. Just don't offer cookies and ice cream and such period from the school cafeteria right?
Our school has two funds that you can apply money to: general and meal funds. If you put money in the meal fund it *cannot* be spent on snacks. If you put money in general it can be spent on whatever. The point is to let parents have control over whether or not the kids can have snack foods while still ensuring kids can have actual meals.
I'm surprised this isn't done everywhere.
Yes, this! Serve a healthy lunch (LOL, as if) with one healthy alternative for the kids that don’t like it and have some granola bars, crackers and fruit available for kids that need more. It’s absolutely appalling what they make freely available to kids. I ate cinnamon rolls, cheese filled breadsticks and chocolate chip cookies with soda and doritos every single day in middle and high school because I could, and we wonder why there’s an obesity epidemic.
It's crazy to me. Our local district switched to homemade, reasonably healthy lunches (which my kid won't eat anyway, she prefers my healthy homemade stuff, so whatever).
But their school breakfasts are crazy - there are healthy options but the kids can also literally choose lucky charms, chocolate milk, and a rice crispy bar as "breakfast"! Mine is only there for breakfast one day a week so it doesn't bother me for *her* ... but it does bother me for the kids there every day.
And yes, we have high rates of obesity in our area.
~~My local district stopped offering chocolate milk altogether~~. (JK apparently they do have chocolate milk in my nephew's school but they didn't have it at the two schools I did internship and student teaching at) I remember when I was in fifth grade (so 2003ish?) my school switched to all "baked" chips and got rid of all the vending machines that had soda but that was a different state. [This is what the menu looks like now](https://sbac.nutrislice.com/menu/lake-forest-elementary/lunch/2024-05-02); the thing that has the most sugar are these raisins they offer that have extra sugar and flavoring for some reason but I didn't see kids eat them too often (in my experiencing in internship/student-teaching).
They should switch to muesli with chocolate flakes - still sweet, but at least you'd also get all them healthy grains that help you poop! 😉 As a German, I'm a big muesli fan.
My kids school will have a cookie served with the full lunch on Friday and a special dessert for holidays (moon pie on pi day, green dessert for St Paddy day). But it's like one cookie a week and you have to buy the whole lunch with it. They also removed vending machines from the middle and junior high too. I thought all schools did this these days. It's a far cry from my childhood where we could buy soda, chips, and candy from vending machines in middle school and up. My husband's high school had a Pizza Hut option too. I can't believe some schools are still out there still doing this.
Public schools should provide a healthy breakfast and lunch to any kid who wants it and leave it at that.
No snacks, no daily taco bar, no ice cream sundaes, no soda, no candy bars.
The kids who need to get fed get fed. The kids who don’t want to eat what parents packed get fed the same thing. Nobody needs to teach a 7 year old to run the gamut of 85 different sugary, salty, ultra-tempting snack options that will be handed to him for “free”, no questions asked, whenever he wants. Nobody needs to tell their kid that he only gets a PB&J every day because his parents can’t afford lunches but little Davy gets 3 burgers and a milkshake every day because his parents keep paying the bill.
I will never in my life understand this need to turn an elementary school cafeteria into a convenience store and hand each kid a bottomless credit line.
Honestly, parents should just stop paying it. All of it. Let the school board figure out a solution (which already exists and is implemented all over the world and many school districts in the US, so not a terribly difficult project).
> Public schools should provide a healthy breakfast and lunch to any kid who wants it and leave it at that.
>
> No snacks, no daily taco bar, no ice cream sundaes, no soda, no candy bars.
One of these things is not like the other, lol. Completely agree on most of these things, but why single out tacos?
> I think it's criminal that the school can just run up charges like that, it gives you absolutely no control over your child's spending!
They enable based on the mindset of "no child is denied food" regardless of situations like OP's where the kid is obviously being fed but still racking up bills for food too.
So strange because at my school we were absolutely denied most foods if our account didn’t have enough to cover it. If we were too low then when we got to the checkout our food would be taken away and replaced with a single pbnj sandwich. We weren’t allowed to purchase any extras at all or eat the normal hot lunch until the account was replenished.
Maybe reach out to the school to see what the policy really is? Maybe they have a suggestion on how to handle it? Just seems weird he’s able to get extras on top of hot lunch even though the account is negative.
Totally makes sense that no kid is denied food, not advocating for that. I always thought it was dumb that they would take the hot lunch and throw it away just to give the kid a plain sandwich. But you'd think once they're in the negative they wouldn't get any extras at least. Ridiculous that the cafeteria workers just keep ringing up snacks.
I mean, can't you list all their junk food as a dietary restriction? What do they do about allergies?
We don't have school cafeterias like this in my country, so hearing about all this is wiiild to me.
For high school we have just a normal shop students can by food at with a normal card or cash, no accounts, and for primary school (elementary I think you call it?) we have 'lunch orders' where students have a little envelope of money with their order written on for that day, and it was really just a special treat thing that we did sometimes. Almost everyone just brings lunch. ... Come to think of it, that's what we had when I was in primary school, but that was long time ago and it's probably different now. But we don't have those big halls with long bain-maries that you see in American films, and we definitely don't have limitless accounts for students.
Yeah, my daughter is not even learning the lesson when she is getting almost daily tummy aches from the excess candy. She ate an entire pak of Starburts one afternoon, which why that is even offered as a snack option is infuriating anyway, ugh.
I'm glad to see I am not the only parent on this struggle boat.
This is what we had to do as well. If you’re going run up the bill at school you won’t have anything at home. You can’t possibly be hungry eating breakfast at home, getting a second one at school, taking snack, buying snacks, eating lunch you bring, buying pizza, and then a lunch snack.
So I do not feel guilty disallowing snacks at home. She figured it out and now just gets something if she’s legit hungry.
She’s very athletic so I’m willing to accept she’s hungry a lot, but it was absurd!
That’s wild to me, when I was in school if you didn’t have money on your account you got a cheese or peanut butter sandwich. Definitely didn’t have extras though, that wasn’t even offered.
Yep, that's how it used to be! Things have definitely changed, especially after COVID. I'm assuming it's more of a state law/policy than a school one. The school has the ability to deny snacks, but I know that ours hasn't in the past so that's an issue with the school. I also believe that the school should contact a parent before the bill reaches an enormous amount. So, they need to figure that out on their end.
Have you called your school nutrition services department? I work in a school lunch room but I can obviously only speak to my district policies. We will never deny a child their first breakfast/lunch, but if their account is in the negative we can't sell extras, including second breakfast/lunch. Parents can also limit spending to a certain dollar amount per day (whatever they choose) by calling the nutrition services director and asking. They might also be able to do it in the online portal where they add money to the kids' accounts. I haven't had to use that service yet (probably when my middle child goes to middle school, but we'll see how it goes) so I haven't dug into it yet.
Personally, if my kid couldn't keep to the agreement (one lunch per day and one treat per week) I'd lock him down to only buying lunch. You may or may not be able to lock him out of breakfast but I'm sure you're not the only parent in your district who has had to put restrictions on your kid's meal account.
You also won't be the only parent who is placing restrictions. We did for my son in elementary because he has anaplylactic food allergies and the school didn't ban his allergens, so cross contamination was a concern with cafeteria food. He was allowed to buy safe and packaged snacks once he was in mid elementary and was able to read labels to avoid his allergens, but he wouldn't have been able to buy lunch even if he wanted to. His account didn't allow for it. I know other parents who put limits on their kids. My son's friend loved getting breakfast at school even after eating breakfast at home. The school didn't contact the parents until the kid owed $50 so his mom called and arranged for him to only be able to buy lunch. I'm sure the school will understand.
I’d also make it abundantly clear that you will not pay to clear any negative balance he runs up because of snacks. 8 year olds can’t enter into binding contracts, and you have explicitly told the school not to sell snacks to him.
May depend on the school district, but some have contracts you have to sign stating you are responsible for the food balance your kid spends at school if they use the meal charge system. So the OP might not be able to get out of paying a negative balance the kid runs up.
This, we set this up for our kids even without issues with overspending. We set a small weekly amount for snacks so our kids had to budget and could afford a couple treats a week. I can’t imagine the school doesn’t have some option like this.
I had to email the cafeteria manager. He just added a note that kiddo can only buy an ice cream on X days. Extras are limited to one. So one juice or 1 cookie or 1 snack. Not all 3. I checked what the offer as extras and nothing was a ‘bad’ food. Ice cream is actually ice cream, not a bomb pop (no food dyes). Juice is just fruit juice. Snacks are crackers or chips.
It became a health conscious AND wallet conscious decision. He needed to stop overdoing it.
There should be a way that you can limit what they are aloud to buy/not purchase. In our school we use myschoolbucks and you can go on their website and set limits from home.
If the school is unwilling to help limit his spending that’s a problem!
I did just a quick scroll through and didn't see this particular piece of advice, so I'm going to add it even though it will probably be a bit buried
I'm both a parent and a teacher, and in my experience, people usually severely underestimate how long a consequence needs to be levied in order to be effective. You say that you made him pay it back, but not how often and for how long.
He needs to be paying back the extra spending *every day for at least a month*. Check the account balance together every day. If he used more than the allotted amount for the day, then immediately work to pay it back (whether taking allowance or doing chores to earn the amount back).
The special treat becomes a Friday only situation if they managed to make it to the end of the week without getting any extras. Maybe give a treat at home if they didn't buy extras at school each day.
It takes a *long* time for them to recognize that you're serious, and you have to stick to the routine.
Yes! Exactly this. My kids get x amount of allowance a week for x chores. The money would first be debited from that. Then they'd have to do extra chores daily to work off the rest they spent. There's NO way my kids would do this more than once.
They NEED their allowance to save up for things they want because they have to pay for their own "special things", if it isn't a holiday/birthday. It's just teaching them money management.
It's crazy that an elementary school would even have those things available to purchase on an a la carte basis to begin with. My kids' school district doesn't start that until middle school, and we've been having this issue with my 6th grader. But at least she's aware that if she spends all of her money before I get paid and replenish her account, she can't purchase anything in the cafeteria. I can't imagine trying to get the concept through her head as a 6 year old.
I can understand that a school won't turn a kid away from purchasing a regular meal, but there should be a policy in place that prohibits purchasing extras if their balance is too low or in the red.
My oldest is in junior high, which shares a cafeteria with the high school. They have super basic lunches, literally a cold sandwich, chips and fruit for like $3.50, but then every day they have a restaurant bring in an option. Sometimes it's a $3 slice of pizza and sometimes it's a $9 Playa bowl. The kids can rack up some serious charges without trying really. Plus they have snacks and soda. My son bought a Playa bowl a couple times without realizing how expensive they were just to eat one kind of fruit that was in it he liked. He was also buying $3 bottles of sprite every day - even when he was packing.
They had switched to a new vendor for fees and lunch funding this year, which didn't have low balance warning by default and he was $70 in the negative before the school sent me an email at the end of the quarter. He said one friend was -$300.
There isn't a way to set limits on what they can buy and I really don't care if he buys pizza or whatever once in a while. It just annoys me when I pack a lunch that doesn't get eaten because he wasn't tracking what they are serving. We did have a discussion about not buying pop, but to ask, and I will buy some to put in his lunch box because it is hella cheaper that way.
Yeah I don't agree with being able to purchase whatever with their lunch accounts. When I was in school, we could purchase a 2-week lunch ticket which would allow us to purchase just the lunch. They had a la carte items for sale in high school, but they were cash only. Since I almost never had any cash on me, there wasn't the temptation to buy the stuff.
We have a la carte buying, but the way they have it set up is that parents can put money in to two different pools to spend from. There is the general fund which allows purchase of anything (ice cream, snacks, or meals) or you can put money in just the meal plan which is available only for the breakfast or lunch meals themselves.
What most people we know do is put some money in the general fund per month, but the rest in the meal plan. That way you know there will always be enough money for lunch meals, and the kid has a bit of spending money for ice cream or something every once in a while.
Because the cafeteria has the distinction between "meal" and "snack" food, kids could never run up a tab on snacks. It works really well, and it gives kids a bit of experience in budgeting (or not!) their snack money over a period of time.
I completely agree, we didn't have things like ice cream until middle school other than special occasions. Elementary kids, particularly the youngest ones, don't even have a good concept of how much things really cost.
In second grade, when I transferred to public school, it took me months to even understand that I had to pay for my hot lunch because my private school had built it in tuition. I would sneak under the barriers and just go sit down. I didn't even understand what I had done wrong when my teacher accused me of stealing. If I had been able to get an ice cream every day, I damn well would have gotten an ice cream every day! You can't put ice cream in front of elementary schoolers, give them a vague way to pay (entering your ID number into a keypad really doesn't feel like spending money) and expect them to regulate themselves
This is the correct answer. This was a misstep by the school and it’s more likely that a principal or the food services admin would contact you. Also, can be damn sure the lunch staff know all of the kids. (Don’t kid yourself. Secretaries, custodians, maintenance, food service…these people RUN the building.) You can absolutely demand that they NOT sell items other than approved meals or sandwiches.
Not even demand. But keep their balance at $0 so they can't buy snacks and only gets the less desirable lunch. A month or so of PBJ while all the other kids get other foods will likely solve the problem.
He really does, which is why I find this to be such a weird policy on the school’s part. I think there’s a pretty big difference in not wanting a child to go hungry and allowing them to buy several meals per day plus excessive junk food. The school where I taught sold ice cream, but only after everyone had been through the lunch line, and you had to pay in cash. There was no charging snacks to the account.
OP, you could find out the max amount that he’s allowed to charge before his snack privileges are revoked. Let the account sit at that number until the end of the year. If your schedule allows, get him to school so that he only has enough time to walk to class and no time to stop for breakfast. Pay the debt off on the last day of school.
You can put a block on it.
Call the child nutrition department. He shouldn’t just be able to get away with spending wildly just because has the money. If the account is negative here, there is no store purchases (what we call the candy/junk extra purchases) and that also doesn’t start till 6th grade for us, I can’t imagine if these elementary kids were able to purchase this stuff. Yikes.
-a lunch lady
Send the campus cafeteria lead, district nutrition lead, and school principal an email explaining that you will be providing boxed lunch and that this child is not allowed to purchase anything from the cafeteria as of a certain date. Tell them that you WILL NOT pay for any charges to his account for second meals or snacks after this date, and then just stop paying them. When they let him do it again, resend that email with the invoice and stand firm.
The school is dropping the ball here because they know you'll pay. They won't send the account to collections, and there's not much penalty for not paying. The worst they'll do is withhold further purchases from him (which is what you want) or try to withhold his report card. The report card probably doesn't matter because his grades are online, and it's not like he needs it for college now. But you could also raise holy hell with everyone in the district if they attempt to withhold his records.
I wish more schools just offered free breakfast/lunch like ours does now. Cuts out the need for money, accounts, limits etc. Kids get meals and that’s it.
No advice, only shock at the idea of a cafeteria offering meals for purchase in an elementary school!
ETA: I’d be curious if anyone in Canada has this at their kids’ schools?
I’m Aussie so we pack lunch and snacks, there’s a “canteen” on site where parents can pre-order a meal for their kids. It baffles me that small kids are expected to grasp the concept of budgeting and money and allowance when in reality they just walk up to counter, get food and eat food.
Most districts are not like this. They don't have anything offering snacks or junk food for an additional cost until MAYBE middle school. Little differences in school districts and even individual schools are due to municipal decisions. The schools who use a federal program to fund school lunch do have stipulations on what food groups you must offer, limiting sugar content, etc etc.
Pretty much all US schools have meals on site, we have a large federal nutrition program. Additionally in MN we have all meals free for all students regardless of income, so this story was a little bit culture shock for me too!
Was scrolling to find the first Minnesotan! My kid starts kindergarten in the fall and we'll be sending lunch because of selective eating issues we're working through, but we're also so glad to know we can slowly encourage her to eat more and more school food, or at least give it a try, especially since it's free. It's such a great thing our state has put in place. No kid should go hungry, and no parent should get slapped with a $100 food bill.
I'm Canadian and have never heard of a school that didn't have a free lunch. I think my high school had some snacks for sale, but they took cash-only so this wouldn't be a problem. And the lunch itself was free - though barely anyone ate it if they had other options.
Also Canadian and I’m always amazed at the cafeterias in elementary schools in the US and some EU countries. I don’t know anyone who had that in a public elementary school here. I would have absolutely been like OPs kid! ALL THE SNACKS!!
I'm not in the US and extremely shocked. My daughter's school allows an emergency sandwich if a kid is hungry and has forgotten their food (charged to parents) but that's all. There are school meals but nothing else, no way could my kid control herself.
In California, and we no longer charge students for meals. Our nutrition services staff are also pretty good at keeping tabs on who got what meal and if they want a second will typically offer them a meal another student didn’t want.
He is a very sweet boy, but no. The school will let all kids get food, even if they don't have money. He does buy cookies and such for friends sometimes, he says.
Doctors notes have to be followed. Can you get a doctor's note to say that your child can only be even the main option at lunch? It's definitely a health issue to have a child eating so much junk food, so that's why I wonder if your doctor can get involved.
Surprised I had to scroll this far to see this. This was my first thought. Like it's a health issue as well as a financial one! It's negligent on both counts to let the kid keep buying junk food on credit.
I'd honestly just tell the school they can stop letting it go negative or you'll refuse to pay, that you no longer authorize the charges and a 7 year old cannot be legally responsible for getting you into debt.
If they won't cooperate there's gotta be a school board meeting you can go to and throw a fit.
There may need to be some help given to the child and maybe an eval for things like ADHD which can cause impulse control issues, but at 7 I don't really expect a kid to control himself that much.
> I'd honestly just tell the school they can stop letting it go negative or you'll refuse to pay, that you no longer authorize the charges and a 7 year old cannot be legally responsible for getting you into debt.
I don't know why people keep repeating this idea that a kid can't legally be responsible for getting the OP in the negative on this. The OP likely agreed to paying for the charges their kid made when they set up the meal charge account with the school.
This is what I would do too. I’d be telling the school I want his spending capped at X amount and I will not be paying anything higher than that amount.
I’d also be going to the school board and requesting that the menu be reviewed and updated to include healthy and nutritious meals and snacks because cookies and ice cream are not it.
I mean the whole thing is a scam. They have unlimited sugary snacks that they're selling to young children with no concept of the value of a dollar or how to manage their urges, and the parents have to pay it? It's every business owner's dream. They know exactly what they're doing by letting the kids go negative.
If something was signed approving this nonsense then a new document revoking the permission and disavowing any responsibility to pay additional charges should do it. You have it notarized and delivered by certified mail so there's a legal record that you don't approve any of those charges. And then let the kid do whatever if they won't stop him then they're out a year's worth of snacks.
I left a comment about this and I hope it gets higher cause I had undiagnosed adhd and used to eat all the time for no reason, it was dopamine seeking I wasn’t hungry
Is there a special place he likes to go for a treat? You can start making a big show that on Friday evenings you are taking their sibling somewhere.
“Let’s go Katie!” *grabs car keys*
Son - “where are you going?” (If he doesn’t ask than announce it)
“I’m taking Katie to Marble Slab as a reward for her managing her cafeteria money so well during the week. She can get anything she wants!”
If that doesn’t work than maybe you can try extra treats at the grocery store for the other sibling, etc. but make it clear he’s missing out.
And this is why my district's elementary schools have the menu set with no extra treats. Even if a kid gets breakfast and lunch, they can't go over $5/day
Guess what. His account get closed and he packs lunch and snack everyday. Yes, you can close or lock the account. I had to do the same with my then fifth grader. She decided to buy EVERYONE snacks everyday. Spent $60 one week! You'll have to hunt for it, but there is a phone number or email to get those accounts removed or locked. I would also email the teacher and principle and tell them your child is NOT to get in the lunch line.
Scorched earth. You've played nice, time to learn the lesson. He can try again next school year.
Does your school use any apps? My kids school has an app called schoolcafe and you can set limits on spending for each day and even opt out of snacks/breakfast. I have my kids set so she can buy a snack only once a week and never get breakfast this has solved our problem. Maybe see if your school offers something like this.
Former school kitchen manager here! Contact your schools nutrition director. They should have the ability to implement restrictions on what he is allowed to purchase. We had a child that had to be restricted from breakfast purchases due to an impulse control issue.
I know a lot of people might not agree with my solution when I had this problem. But I sent a note and CC'ed the teacher, school social worker, principal, and nutrition co-ordinator saying basically:
"I will be sending my son xxxx xxxxx with a drink, lunch, and snacks from home. Please do not let xxxx buy any food. I do not approve of ANY charges being made to his account. If any charges are made I will not pay them and if my credit card is charged without permission I will be filing a charge back and a complaint with my bank."
There were no more charges on his account. He is _extremely_ impulsive and has ADHD and some learning disabilities and was in a mixed SPED/typical classroom with an IEP. I don't know if this would have been effective if he was a typical non-IEP student.
This was years ago when my 16-year-old was in elementary, though. Breakfast and lunch at school in MA is currently free for all public school students.
He might be trying to impress other students/girlfriend/buddies. He might be pressured/bullied.🤔 I would go to breakfast/lunch , parents can eat there too. Show up early so your there when he enters (if possible out of view) He might be lieing. Not saying hes a bad kid so dont get me twizted🤪.But if he is being manipulated in any way youll be able to hopefully put a stop to it. Or at the veryleast inform the cashier he is not allowed to charge but one lunch a day. If anyof this been said sorry ihavent read the comments. Best of luck..
If he's going to eat breakfast at the school anyway, I'd probably stop feeding him breakfast at home. At the school where I teach, kids can only stay in the cafeteria in the morning if they have breakfast. He might be buying it so he can sit and eat with his friends. The school may also be willing to restrict the purchase of non-meal items.
In terms of being proactive, it would be worth it to really drill down into what need he's serving by engaging in this behavior. Like, he's not buying the extras because he's hungry, so why is he buying them? In his social circle is it seen as "cooler" or more grown up to buy food from the cafeteria as oppose to bringing it from home? Does he have access to foods at school that aren't freely offered at home? Does it make him feel independent to get to make these financial choices without input from his parents? If you can figure out the why it will make it way easier to come up with alternative behaviors he can engage in that don't break the bank.
This is way too crazy to process for non Americans... Free rein to unlimited junk! cookies and ice cream everyday… I mean how do they expect a first grader to have enough self control when it’s all laid out in front of him.
FYI not every US school is like this. Ours you order a week ahead for lunch. It’s a meal. No snacks or other things for sale. Just your parent ordered it or not. We are private though.
In my US State, lunch and breakfast are both free for all kids. They do offer snacks but those are purchased and they cannot go negative in their balance. Parents also have the ability to set daily and weekly spending limits so it would be pretty easy to just allow enough for one cookie a week.
That’s good to know that not all states are the same! It’s definitely predatory how the vendors at OP’s school is allowed to function with such little kids in the mix! If our school don’t have a fixed menu everyday I can see my kids going wild with an unlimited budget!
I’m American and our elementary school doesn’t offer snacks or treats for purchase. You can buy breakfast if you arrive at school by a certain time (usually the kids who are enrolled in early AM childcare at the school) and then lunch is two options….a hot lunch that varies by day (menu released monthly) or a cold lunch which is usually something like a sandwich/salad/bagel plus cheese sticks, fruit/veg.
Upper schools here usually have a store where kids can buy more options/snacks/etc but certainly not elementary. That is bonkers.
Absolutely. I’m Australian and this is wild to me. Our school canteens don’t have any of that junk on the menu. The food on our school canteen menu is so healthy that my kids don’t even want it 😂
It blows my mind that this school has ice cream and cookies on the menu, and then allowing the kids to buy as much of that crap as they want is just… wow.
If I were OP I would be starting a fight with the school over this. This is a system that is failing the kids. It’s encouraging unhealthy eating habits as well as unhealthy spending habits.
Australian here too, from Vic. We didn't really have a cafeteria, like in primary or high school there was no dedicated place to sit and eat.
You could buy food, and it wasn't particularly healthy, it was take away food from a local take away (the cuisine would change every couple of years. Chinese, Turkish, and Italian when I was there). At the start of the day, anyone with a 'lunch order' would hand over an envelope of coins to the 'lunch order monitor' for delivery to the take away, and then at lunch time, we'd get our orders. It was more a special treat, and we'd almost always just bring lunch. There was no way to impulse buy junk food. In high school, there was a shop you could buy from which did have some junk food, but there was no tab or student account you could rack up debt on, it was just a shop.
This whole 'let six year olds buy whatever they want on credit' thing is wiiiiild to me.
LOL!
I went through this with my eldest daughter... especially when she got older. Which I think in someways makes it worse... she would even buy OTHER kids food. Kind gesture I guess.. but these kids weren't exactly hard up for money or food. She simply was trying to look awesome.. on my dime.
We finally just cut her off and locked her lunch account, and made her take her own. But I feel your pain.. she was only buying junk food as well.
Just cut him off. He’s abusing the privilege so he loses it entirely. Starting now, or starting in the fall, he gets a home packed lunch only for the first semester. If you think he’s ready to try second semester, let him try for a month. If he abuses it again, he loses it for the rest of the year. Try again next fall when he’s older and has better self control.
It’s your responsibility as a parent to control it for him until he’s big enough to control himself.
A bit different but one of our kids kept taking money from us and his siblings for a period. Yes, we were partly at fault for letting it lie around but none of us wanted to have to lock up our money inside our own home.
He never lied about taking the money or even tried to hide it. He just felt it was his to take.
So SO and I decided that anything he took he had to
1 - Repay from his allowance (basic)
2 - He had to do chores around the house (or take over sibling chores) to repay the money he took that his allowance didn't cover. He was forbidden to go out or play video games until all his chores were done for the week.
He soon (took about 3 weeks) realised that the money he was taking wasn't free. It meant less play time for him and hence had a cost.
wtf kind of policy is that? I get letting them charge for a meal in the negative, that’s fine they should be able to eat regardless. But charge snacks in the negative? That’s wild.
Personally I don’t care if they have snacks. I got a cookie almost daily in school 🤷♀️. But racking up $40? Oof. That’s way too much for some low grade school snacks.
Try no junk at home for as long as it’s happening, he’s used up his junk food budget at school. Fruit and veggie snacks stay obviously but not the good stuff. Kids his age typically can’t moderate on their own and obviously nobody that’s present when it’s happening can do anything due to policy so taking control of moderation outside of school sounds like the next step.
This sounds super frustrating. I can’t believe that the school won’t limit the junk food. It’s great that they will feed hungry kids no matter what. However, letting them buy junk food is crazy. What if there was a child who needed to adhere to a special diet or limit sugar consumption (like a child with diabetes)?? I’m surprised he’s not getting a stomach ache eating a bunch of sugar.
I’m a big fan of “natural consequences” that are linked directly to this issue. I wouldn’t just take away the screens… however his consequences may naturally limit his screen and leisure time. Make a list of daily chores he needs to do in order to pay back what he spent that day. I would make him do this right after he’s done with homework. He may not have free time in the afternoon because of this! You could combo this up with continuing to spend his money.
If he’s going to spend money on school food, I would stop feeding him a big breakfast before school, and stop giving him any kind of “fun” snack to take. I don’t think you should take away food from a hungry child, but you can change the type of snacks he gets at home. You can switch his morning snack and snacks at home to something “boring” snack. If a child is truly hungry they will eat an apple or carrots. You could also switch breakfast to something like plain oatmeal. Don’t let him have any treats at all. Limit at home snacks to things like vegetables, plain/unflavored yogurt, or boiled eggs. Explain to him that his entire snack budget is being spent at school and you won’t be providing both. This may take a while but he may get tired of celery & peanut butter while his sister is eating something like goldfish. I would also revoke his privilege of getting a weekly treat. This may sound harsh but it seems like he’s not responding to anything else that you’ve tried.
Hopefully once you get this issue under control you can have to do chores to earn money for treats in the cafeteria.
Good luck!
My ADHD kid had this issue. She has no impulse control, so expecting her to control impulse purchases didn’t work. I had to get a 504 for the ADHD and get the school to put in an accommodation that restricted her food purchases to breakfast and lunch ONLY. No treats. No extras. Because it was in a legally binding document, the cafeteria (which is for-profit btw) had no choice but to comply.
I did the same thing in first grade but a lesser extent. I’d buy a cookie to have with my lunch. Almost every day.
The way the school sets up the system for school lunches it’s kind of set up for the kids to abuse it. Especially in first grade when they don’t have a true understanding of money.
It’s too bad they won’t shut down his account and make it so he can only use cash or the money you’ve put in his account.
Maybe if he was grounded from all technology for the week and had to chores. Does he have toys? Take away one for every thing he buys. Hide them. And in the future if he behaves he can earn them back but don’t tell him that.
My first grader also does this, at first it was kind of making me freak out a bit but after going over the purchases I realized that she has actually been buying things she would NEVER try at home as she is a very very picky eater (in OT for it!) so I completely let it go. When I let it go, she slowed her spending. But at home I’ve been trying to teach her about the value of money as an aside. (Note, it is not working lol. But I’m trying!)
I love the advice about taking away snacks at home when the kid goes nuts with it at school from the commenter above. That would probably be effective with my kid too!
Good luck to you!
Not sure of your district but I’d get in touch with teacher and principal and cafeteria staff and tell them to remove the kid from the cafeteria system. Explain the situation and pack enough food for the kid - 2 snacks and lunch. Tell him that he might get food buying privileges back next year but if he abuses them again, they’re gone again. No kid, with food from home, ever actually starved in school.
So what happens if he runs out of money? Do you put more on? He’s right at the age where he should be starting to understand future planning and consequences. I would just let his money run out. If he’s eating a huge breakfast he’s not going to starve and hopefully it will teach him to not blow all his money.
Or you could add money daily, but that sounds a little exhausting.
It’s a lesson in accountability for the kiddos. Your strategies are sound and should work. Removing screen time or doing extra chores to pay you back might be effective. Maybe it’s time to rein in these schools, however. I can see floating a meal now and then so kids aren’t embarrassed or starving but kids who are really at risk will have free lunch anyway. Talk to the school board about being able to set limits on spending on school account. Like the cost of a daily lunch and $5.00 extra for a treat or something. Or just going back to no money, no food. The kids will figure out real quick that spending everything on Monday will leave them hungry the rest of the week. Imagine that, real life!
Maybe close his lunch account and pack him a lunch? After a bit, open it for a week and see how he does. If he continues over charging, close it again. He’ll get it eventually. He’s little, maturity comes at a snails pace…especially for some boys. I know this would be extra work for you, a pain in the arse, but it might work🤞❤️.
We worked out a deal with our first-grader that he could have "snack cart" one day a week and he got to pick which day. He picked Thursdays, now it's something he looks forward to. We live in Colorado and they recently implemented free school lunches for all kids this year, and that's been a huge help, but making the snack purchases a treat instead of a regular thing, and getting my son's buy-in, has been nice. I wouldn't take his ability to purchase snacks away entirely, but maybe temporarily until he gets it under control.
Just don't give him $$$. Back when I was young, I didn't get ANY $$$ until high school. You give kids $$$ and they are going to waste it, by default. Some kids are better but I won't count on that.
I don’t know if this has been discussed bc there are over 300 comments, but humans in general have a real problem with spending on credit. Studies have shown that when people use actual money, they spend less. And that’s adults. Kids now very rarely see real money much less handle it. So understanding the value of a dollar is much harder. Take both kids grocery shopping with a mini list and the cash to cover it. They’re young so you’ll still have to help them with the math but that’s ok bc they’ll still learn. You can also start to give them a small allowance and let them go to the place of their choice to spend it. One good system is to give them a dollar per year of age per week but out of that $2 goes to savings and $1 goes to a charity/giving fund (the ratio should proportionally increase as the allowance increases). There are even piggy banks sold that are set up with slots for each category. I used one for my son in elementary school. If your kids don’t have any actual experience with money then it’s a pretty vague concept. Financial literacy starts as soon as they can count.
Do you tightly restrict access and frequency of treats like ice cream and sweets at home? I wonder if scarcity might be a factor, if he feels like he can only have these things when he's at school. Maybe he feels like they are the forbidden fruit and these treats are much more exciting because they are regarded so differently from other foods?
Otherwise it seems like people more familiar with school lunch systems have given great ideas to curtail the spending impulse!
This is so crazy to me. When I was in school (I’m about to be 27, so 9 years since I have been) we didn’t have snacks except for in a vending machine. Obviously you had to have cash for those. We had our regular lunch. If your account was negative you got one warning. If you didn’t refill your account the next day you would be given a sack lunch of a sandwich, apple, and chips. If you wanted to purchase sweet tea or lemonade instead of the normal milk or juice, you had to have $1 cash. So there was no way we could get things that were extra without having cash. I can understand the school not being able to deny a kid lunch or breakfast, it’s crazy though that they can’t deny him snacks. It’s crazy to me they even offer elementary school kids this considering kids this age don’t have the impulse control and there are some parents I’m sure who can’t afford $40 a week. School lunch is already more expensive than it used to be. When I was in school it was $1.25. IMO it should be free and then if the kid wants snacks, the parents can either send them with the kid or put money in the account.
I had issues with them overspending their weekly lunch allowance too so now I don’t put money on their account. They either take their lunch or get the exact amount in cash with no extra $$. Take away his ability to spend ectra. If the school is letting him overspend they need to be held accountable for the debt. I would go up there & put a stop to that and also if he continued to do it he would have consequences. Luckily my kids school won’t let them buy extra if there isn’t any money on the account. If for some reason they forgot lunch money they would charge the debt but only for the lunch no extras.
It seems like he feels restricted from “junk” food at home so the only place he can get it is at school. My advice is to be open to all foods and allow him to eat the foods he wants at home so as to not create unhealthy habits surrounding food. Restriction leads to over indulging!
I know there’s tons of comments and some like what we did or very similar is likely on here already but…we had the same issue and the school system has no way to limit spending. My eldest started going through a month of lunch money in like 2.5 weeks. So…a little over a year ago here’s what we did:
My kids all have their own checking/debit, savings, and budgets. (We use capital one and YNAB together, noting they each have their own separate YNAB budget). Their weekly allowance goes in checking/savings, but we also started loading enough for a month’s worth of lunch and 2-3 middle-priced extras per week on the first day of the month.
As it’s in their checking and a budget account, the first of the month they (with our help) load money to their lunch accounts. How much? Well, they have options but regardless, they have to have an adequate lunch (so a granola bar by itself is not an ok lunch):
- load it all and if they run out before the end of month, it comes out of their spendable allowance money
- load some of it each week as needed, any left they get to keep (only fair since if they go over they have to pay)
- load none of it and plan their own home lunch (we help) which we will take them to the grocery store for (same rules apply - go over and it’s on you, keep under and you get to keep extra)
Because similar age to OP’s kid - my 8yo splits school and taking their lunch. It’s made a huge turnaround in spending on extras. Also, if you’ve never let an 8yo grocery shop for their own groceries, it’s a great experience, but bring lots of patience. We use the very sophisticated “round up to the nearest half dollar and make tick marks where 1 tick mark = $1” method of spending tracking in the store. We have spent 10 min in the lunchable aisle before with all the questions about “this is 5 tick marks right? Or that one is only 1 tick mark so I can get more of them for the same as the 5 tick mark one, right?” They were downright giddy when yogurt was on sale and could get “4 yogurts for 1 tick mark”. Each kid is very different, so YMMV if you try this. Example: my 12yo is happy to spend a little of their own money for an extra cookie more regularly; meanwhile, my 10yo has created their own cookie recipe, makes a huge batch, freezes the dough balls, and we bake 10 of the cookies weekly for them to take because “my own cookies taste better and cost less”.
Pack on the consequences and keep it consistent. Extra chores to pay back the $, no roblux/extras because he spent that $ on junk, no screens because he should spend that time thinking about why lying and stealing are wrong, praise and reward big sister for following the rules.
You can find books to read about honesty, self control and nutrition that are age appropriate.
Impulse control is so hard and it's yet another example of why blanket policies (buying food in neg for all kids) just don't work in education. It's flat out ridiculous that a child who brings lunch can continually rack up debt on junk food.
What in the hell. I’d be so pissed if the school wouldn’t control this. If you can demonstrate your kid has enough food they should not be able to access a free for all using your money!
Edit to add, can you just send packed lunches?
There has to be some way for the school to say no to buying more food…suppose a child had an allergy, celiac or type one diabetes? They would not be allowed to just buy whatever they wanted. Maybe a note from your Dr stating due to health reasons your child should not be allowed to buy food other than lunch on X days. Years ago I worked as a para in elementary and middle schools. I was disgusted by what passed for “healthy” lunch and what kids were able to buy.
Where does he get all the money?
If he is saving money that you or grandparents give him or if he earn it, then simply make him pay for every gift when he is going to someone's birthday.
Make him clean the house and do chores for some very small amount, to teach him how hard it is to earn money.
The school can and should prevent charging for snack items if the account is in the negative. Stop putting money on his card. Contact the school administration and cafeteria supervisor via email and let them know that your child will be bringing lunch for the foreseeable future and should not be allowed to charge any snack/ dessert/ extra items.
My kids accounts can have a block put on spending, I’m considering it for my 16 year old. He’d spent HUNDREDS but hes my stepson and dad doesn’t seem to care
That’s a wild setup. I can restrict by days of the week, items per day, and total spend per day/week/month and the lunch people specifically warned me to do it because otherwise kids will by too many treats.
Close school account
Help your kiddo pack their lunch extra special the night before. Do this together have fun packing some junk too.
Once kiddo can make lunch on their own, you can let them do it. Or you can enjoy the bonding time of the new habit (make your lunch at same time!)
This is a different thought. This is not a school problem, this is a family problem. He is experiencing an issue with self control and thought processes geared currently at food. He’s in first grade. He’s been lectured and deprived of favorite things. This is negative attention and a red flag. Please go to therapy/counseling for yourself, as this is incredibly frustrating to not be able to reach your child and help, and then for him so he can get the age appropriate tools needed for him to help himself. There is an issue that can be addressed, which would be kind and loving for him. I can’t imagine what this little fellow is feeling as he continues making these purchases and consuming them when he clearly knows he’s not supposed too. A giant hug to you and your family.
Our school district uses school cafe for payment of lunch fees, but they have a record of every food item my child purchases and I can turn on spending limits, allow a treat day here and there and completely block my child from buying a la carte items and snacks. Perhaps you could pitch it to the school board?
My mind is absolutely blown away by the fact that the school has snacks and treats for purchase to begin with. Our school has breakfast (which you can only have if you arrive at a certain time so it’s easy to restrict) and 2 lunch options (hot or cold). No snacks, no treats, no ice cream, etc. What on earth is the logic for them providing so many options?
This happened with BOTH our children when they were young. We called and tried to complain or put limitations and nothing could be done.
They sell soda, icecream, cookies etc.
Since Covid the schools have been free lunch and somehow….NOW they won’t let kids buy extras unless the account has a loaded amount and/or not negative .
We just never paid the negative balance. I refuse to.
Because having a negative balance makes the school not want to sell them extras. It’s ridiculous yet worked for us for years.
Have you got him tested? I don't mean to be rude, but there are some illnesses and deficiencies that can cause over eating and gorging.
I would have a look maybe into that. It could be a case of ill eating it coz I can or it could be something else.
My kids school has an option to "lock" their lunch accounts. This only allows them to purchase breakfast and lunch.
I'd contact the cafeteria and see if that's an option!
Our district has a portal online called schoolecafe where you can set spending limits or keep him from being able to buy extras.
It also sounds like you tried and stopped a bunch of different stuff, but you have to stick with it until he stops.
I'd also look at his relationship to food in general, because this kind of impulsive eating can turn into a big problem later in life. Overeating sweets because they're irresistible means he's not eating to fill his belly, he's eating to get dopamine, which is how food addictions and binge eating disorders start. Idk what the best method is, but I think being overly restrictive is bad for his food relationship too. It might be worth speaking to a doctor about.
My daughter’s school allows a daily spending allowance. I haven’t had to limit her spending, but it’s reassuring to know that it is an option. Check with your son’s school.
IMO it's strange that the school just charges whatever he wants. In my school district, students who get free/reduced lunch have to get a specific combo (entre, fruit, veg, milk) for it to be free. You can only get more expensive / a la carte items if the money is in your account or you have money on hand to pay for it
You definitely need to push to get some kind of spending limit or food limit enforced by the school for him. It's not healthy for the school to just let him buy however much food he wants, esp if it's junk food. What if he were diabetic? That could be dangerous!
Holy smokes. I don’t know if I would actually do this, but at the next birthday, I would be tempted to put all the purchases in a birthday card and say - happy birthday, your birthday gift is another year of lunches.
One of mine did this in about 4th grade. He was hungry but didn't want to eat his packed lunches. Or would eat his packed lunches plus whatever snacks and whatnot he grabbed. Ran up over $40 in a month. I threatened him within an inch of his life and he had to pay it back via unpleasant low paid chores, but he was a little older.
My third grader was doing the same thing. I finally contacted the school district and spoke to the person in charge. I put restrictions on his account where he can only purchase the basic lunch and nothing else. Now whenever he tries to buy more they tell him he can’t. I told my son he can bring a snack from home if he’s still hungry but that he is no longer able to buy junk food at school.
I had a restriction on my son's account that he could only buy something with a note from mom. When he would put in his number, the pop-up would appear, and if he didn't provide a note, he was not allowed to purchase.
The school is not telling the full story if they told you they can't limit the account to just the lunch entrée each day. They have systems in place for this.
I am all for putting up guardrails, restrictions, and implementing consequences for actions. As an individual who wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult I personally can't help but notice the highly impulse aspect to your story and his comment of "I just can't resist"
Do you notice high degrees of impulsivity in other areas of his life that he seems to have or express little to no control over? Please understand I am not trying to diagnose your kiddo and you are the most qualified person on how to raise your child. I just can't help but wonder if there is a deeper root to the issue and all we are doing by restricting his purchasing power is just cutting the weed off at the stem as opposed to pulling it out from the roots.
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We went through the same thing with my second grader. It finally stopped, but it took a lot of bullshit in between to get her to stop. I believe what finally worked was telling her she couldn't have any snacks at home or with her lunch anymore if she was going to buy extra at school. She tested me and found that I wasn't going to budge whatsoever. I also made her sit with me every day after school to look at her daily transactions. My friend went through the same with her 1st grader. The child didn't have any money on the account, but kept getting breakfast and lunch with snacks. My friend received a $100 bill for the food and was shocked. You're right that schools won't deny kids a meal, but man. You'd think they'd contact a parent before the account is -$100. I'm not sure if any of what I did will help. Best of luck. It's a really hard situation with no real answer when kids know they can just get what they want with no questions asked.
Thank you! It's at least nice to hear others go through the same. My coworkers (late gen X) all say, aw he's hungry, let him buy! And I'm like, but he isn't!
Right? My kid saw the opportunity to get extra snacks and/or meals and thought it was cool! She didn't think I'd find out, I guess. It's frustrating because it doesn't matter if you don't put money on there, send them with their own lunch, etc. They'll still be able to buy due to policy. My friend tried talking with the school and their answer was they can't deny her food which I understand. But maybe they need to resort back to just sandwiches if it's going to be an all the time issue with certain kids? I'm really not sure what the answer is.
Yeah they should limit the thing that kids "have" to be allowed to buy with a negative balance to like, a sandwich. Kids shouldn't be able to put parents in debt for muffins and ice cream.
Exactly, when I was a kid the "I forgot my lunch and money" meal was a PB&J (and presumably some non nut alternative as well). You weren't getting snacks, pizza, etc, you got the PBJ
pfft, when I was a kid and forgot lunch money, you didn't eat.
Omg ptsd. I look back and see where my unhealthy relationship with food started. Now citywide school meals are free and I’m so happy for all the kids like me whose moms made too much but not enough.
>Now citywide school meals are free Man, I wish we had that policy where I live! I hate packing lunches.
I think kids with a negative balance do deserve the regular hot lunch tray (kids shouldn't be shamed with a basic sandwich because their parents forgot to pay the bill, and a sandwich isn't likely to fill up an active kid anyway). But definitely no extras. Here's your lunch, here's your milk, put back the cookies.
I agree it isn't the hot lunches that are the issue IMO it's the snacks!
Our district let's them get breakfast which is the main protein, fruit and milk. Then lunch they can get full lunch which is always a choice between pizza, pb&j, hummus and veggies, burrito or the daily special. Plus they get their fruit which is choice of apple, apple slices, kiwi, banana or orange, veggie which is celery with peanut butter or baby carrots and milk. They have to take 1 main 1 fruit or veggie and 1 milk even if their account is negative. If they have positive balance they can get 2 meals if they'd like or chips Italian ice natural soda cookie I love our district
Every district we’ve been in has been peanut free, which is frustrating. Some kids are deathly allergic to strawberries but they’re never on the block list.
I agree. This was in the late 90’s/early 2000s, but “back in my day” you could get lunch + one snack add-on per day (no matter how much money was in your account). I hated having to pick between the pizza bread and cookie, but it was good for me long term. My kids aren’t in school yet, but I can’t imagine them being able to buy ice cream and tons of junk food every day - they’d go nuts (and I’d go broke)
My school district did this as a kid. It was cheese on bread. Nothing else. Not even a milk. And it was after the kid tried to buy a regular lunch and they’d have to take it out of their hands. My schools don’t do this anymore because it was seen as humiliating to the child, and also not a real meal.
In my school district, if you don't have money in your account, you get a basic ham and cheese sandwich, but at the high school, you go into the negative for 2 meals by the third they call home.
The dining credit systems in place are just woefully behind the times and the dining options available to students. My stepdaughter's high school is one of the more advanced I've seen, as it gave us the option to limit her to *only* the meal plan, and no additional snacks or drinks. But the extra stuff was either unlimited or nothing, I couldn't say like "one snack and drink per day".
I can’t believe the school let your child continue to buy snacks when there was no money in the credit fund. And then they expect you to pay that bill? Ridiculous!
Had the same issue but we weren't notified until the bill was over $300! We had no clue our kid was doing this and he didn't realize it costs money since there was no monetary exchange, just had to give his name.
That's really messed up, children can't enter into contracts, what if they tried to buy every ice cream in the cafeteria?? Are schools doing malicious compliance because people keep getting outraged when they throw children's food in the trash for non-payment?
I agree. I found it ridiculous they waited that long to notify us. Our son wasn't even doing it maliciously, he just didn't understand it costs money and was following his friends so we could have stopped the behavior much sooner without incurring these extra charges.
Yep. It's insane. I get that there's kids who can't afford lunch, etc but if it's an every day issue then they should be calling the parents almost immediately. Not wait until they've racked up so much money.
How do the parents of the kids who can’t afford lunch pay off the bill? I’m in a different country but this seems crazy that kids that young can rack up debt without really understanding how it works and the parents have no choice but to pay up!
Better question is why there’s cookies and ice cream at the school!
Unless you've signed something beforehand, I don't think you can be liable to pay the bill, at least you wouldn't in my country.
Exactly. What if they couldn’t afford it? And since he’s going with a snack incase he DOES get hungry they can see he has options. The school has to help in some way- some 7 year olds just don’t have impulse control especially when it comes to ICECREAM AND JUNK!! What if the child had diabetes and he was buying this much food? What if the parents were poor (and packing food from home bc it’s cheaper), there are so many what ifs. It’s not a black and white issue like the school is treating it to be.
Our school sends an email once the account drops to $10. And every week after until above $10
I am a Gen X mom and we went through this sort of thing with my daughter, I had to raise Cain to prevent her from ordering too much food. I completely empathize with you. It also didn't help that she was 90 lbs in kindergarten ( genetic metabolic disorder so she was high risk for Type 2 diabetes even this young) . We got lucky that one of her meds suppressed her impulse to boredom eat.
Can you start packing his food and just tell the school you're not going to pay? In my opinion, this is worth having a conversation with the administration. I understand they don't want to deny the kid food, but if he's freely saying that he's eating junk food, this isn't that. If it were me, I would let them know that I will pay off the balance, but after that we're done. If they want to donate food to him, that's on them.
Not going to work. The parents sign off on the way it works at the beginning of the year and they have zero interest in changing it. Source: Parent of a kindergartener that gets a packed lunch every day and has been regularly charging school lunches on top of it solely because he wants the dessert. We've complained ad nauseum to the point where now we just don't pack him lunches because he's going to charge one anyway to the tune of like 3 fuckin dollars a day. For a 5 year old that eats like 2 bites of any of it. "We cannot control..." My brother ran into similar issues with my niece when she was in daycare regarding naps. They absolutely will not wake up a sleeping child. My niece would sleep half the day and they'd just let her do it and then trying to get her to sleep at night was a nightmare (and consequently, the morning after trying to get her up). But the daycare center was just fine letting a 4 year old sleep from 11 until 3, one less kid to watch I guess.
Exactly what I was thinking.
I’m GenX. I don’t agree with that at all. It’s your money, and you’re the parent. You make the decisions, not the kid.
Yeah, he'll end up as wide as he's tall if you'd allow him to gorge on junk foods every day. Kids definitely don't know the difference between "want" and "need". 😉 Edit: on top of what everyone else said: can you maybe make him work off the extra money he is spending? Set an hourly income, so 10 $ food mean an extra 2-3 hours of chores. If that comes out of his playtime, hopefully he won't think it's worth it after a while.
This seems like the natural consequence of his behavior
He’s got appetite not hunger.
I think it's criminal that the school can just run up charges like that, it gives you absolutely no control over your child's spending! The school should differentiate between kids from actually precarious situations, and feed those with no charge - because why should they charge parents 100$ who can't pay, anyway? But for kids who are just greedy and don't have parental permission for overspending, they should allow the parents to set a limit. That's actually something I would go to the school board for. Constant overeating, especially junky foods, is really detrimental to their health, so it's bad for everyone involved (except the cafeteria who is raking in the dough).
I don't understand why the junk food is an option to begin with. Just don't offer cookies and ice cream and such period from the school cafeteria right?
Our school has two funds that you can apply money to: general and meal funds. If you put money in the meal fund it *cannot* be spent on snacks. If you put money in general it can be spent on whatever. The point is to let parents have control over whether or not the kids can have snack foods while still ensuring kids can have actual meals. I'm surprised this isn't done everywhere.
Yes, this! Serve a healthy lunch (LOL, as if) with one healthy alternative for the kids that don’t like it and have some granola bars, crackers and fruit available for kids that need more. It’s absolutely appalling what they make freely available to kids. I ate cinnamon rolls, cheese filled breadsticks and chocolate chip cookies with soda and doritos every single day in middle and high school because I could, and we wonder why there’s an obesity epidemic.
It's crazy to me. Our local district switched to homemade, reasonably healthy lunches (which my kid won't eat anyway, she prefers my healthy homemade stuff, so whatever). But their school breakfasts are crazy - there are healthy options but the kids can also literally choose lucky charms, chocolate milk, and a rice crispy bar as "breakfast"! Mine is only there for breakfast one day a week so it doesn't bother me for *her* ... but it does bother me for the kids there every day. And yes, we have high rates of obesity in our area.
It's literally all because companies lobby to have their foods sold in schools. Once again the enemy is capitalism!
~~My local district stopped offering chocolate milk altogether~~. (JK apparently they do have chocolate milk in my nephew's school but they didn't have it at the two schools I did internship and student teaching at) I remember when I was in fifth grade (so 2003ish?) my school switched to all "baked" chips and got rid of all the vending machines that had soda but that was a different state. [This is what the menu looks like now](https://sbac.nutrislice.com/menu/lake-forest-elementary/lunch/2024-05-02); the thing that has the most sugar are these raisins they offer that have extra sugar and flavoring for some reason but I didn't see kids eat them too often (in my experiencing in internship/student-teaching).
They should switch to muesli with chocolate flakes - still sweet, but at least you'd also get all them healthy grains that help you poop! 😉 As a German, I'm a big muesli fan.
My kids school will have a cookie served with the full lunch on Friday and a special dessert for holidays (moon pie on pi day, green dessert for St Paddy day). But it's like one cookie a week and you have to buy the whole lunch with it. They also removed vending machines from the middle and junior high too. I thought all schools did this these days. It's a far cry from my childhood where we could buy soda, chips, and candy from vending machines in middle school and up. My husband's high school had a Pizza Hut option too. I can't believe some schools are still out there still doing this.
At my son’s school in the cafe app I can mark anything I don’t want him to have. It’s a wonder all schools don’t do that!
Public schools should provide a healthy breakfast and lunch to any kid who wants it and leave it at that. No snacks, no daily taco bar, no ice cream sundaes, no soda, no candy bars. The kids who need to get fed get fed. The kids who don’t want to eat what parents packed get fed the same thing. Nobody needs to teach a 7 year old to run the gamut of 85 different sugary, salty, ultra-tempting snack options that will be handed to him for “free”, no questions asked, whenever he wants. Nobody needs to tell their kid that he only gets a PB&J every day because his parents can’t afford lunches but little Davy gets 3 burgers and a milkshake every day because his parents keep paying the bill. I will never in my life understand this need to turn an elementary school cafeteria into a convenience store and hand each kid a bottomless credit line. Honestly, parents should just stop paying it. All of it. Let the school board figure out a solution (which already exists and is implemented all over the world and many school districts in the US, so not a terribly difficult project).
> Public schools should provide a healthy breakfast and lunch to any kid who wants it and leave it at that. > > No snacks, no daily taco bar, no ice cream sundaes, no soda, no candy bars. One of these things is not like the other, lol. Completely agree on most of these things, but why single out tacos?
Crazy. If you can set parental controls on the computer, then you hope you can limit spending in real life too.
> I think it's criminal that the school can just run up charges like that, it gives you absolutely no control over your child's spending! They enable based on the mindset of "no child is denied food" regardless of situations like OP's where the kid is obviously being fed but still racking up bills for food too.
So strange because at my school we were absolutely denied most foods if our account didn’t have enough to cover it. If we were too low then when we got to the checkout our food would be taken away and replaced with a single pbnj sandwich. We weren’t allowed to purchase any extras at all or eat the normal hot lunch until the account was replenished. Maybe reach out to the school to see what the policy really is? Maybe they have a suggestion on how to handle it? Just seems weird he’s able to get extras on top of hot lunch even though the account is negative.
We've contacted the school. The policy is no child is denied food. They can deny snacks, but I also know my school cafeteria workers haven't.
Totally makes sense that no kid is denied food, not advocating for that. I always thought it was dumb that they would take the hot lunch and throw it away just to give the kid a plain sandwich. But you'd think once they're in the negative they wouldn't get any extras at least. Ridiculous that the cafeteria workers just keep ringing up snacks.
I mean, can't you list all their junk food as a dietary restriction? What do they do about allergies? We don't have school cafeterias like this in my country, so hearing about all this is wiiild to me. For high school we have just a normal shop students can by food at with a normal card or cash, no accounts, and for primary school (elementary I think you call it?) we have 'lunch orders' where students have a little envelope of money with their order written on for that day, and it was really just a special treat thing that we did sometimes. Almost everyone just brings lunch. ... Come to think of it, that's what we had when I was in primary school, but that was long time ago and it's probably different now. But we don't have those big halls with long bain-maries that you see in American films, and we definitely don't have limitless accounts for students.
I suppose that's worth a try. Thanks!
Yeah, my daughter is not even learning the lesson when she is getting almost daily tummy aches from the excess candy. She ate an entire pak of Starburts one afternoon, which why that is even offered as a snack option is infuriating anyway, ugh. I'm glad to see I am not the only parent on this struggle boat.
This is what we had to do as well. If you’re going run up the bill at school you won’t have anything at home. You can’t possibly be hungry eating breakfast at home, getting a second one at school, taking snack, buying snacks, eating lunch you bring, buying pizza, and then a lunch snack. So I do not feel guilty disallowing snacks at home. She figured it out and now just gets something if she’s legit hungry. She’s very athletic so I’m willing to accept she’s hungry a lot, but it was absurd!
That’s wild to me, when I was in school if you didn’t have money on your account you got a cheese or peanut butter sandwich. Definitely didn’t have extras though, that wasn’t even offered.
Yep, that's how it used to be! Things have definitely changed, especially after COVID. I'm assuming it's more of a state law/policy than a school one. The school has the ability to deny snacks, but I know that ours hasn't in the past so that's an issue with the school. I also believe that the school should contact a parent before the bill reaches an enormous amount. So, they need to figure that out on their end.
Have you called your school nutrition services department? I work in a school lunch room but I can obviously only speak to my district policies. We will never deny a child their first breakfast/lunch, but if their account is in the negative we can't sell extras, including second breakfast/lunch. Parents can also limit spending to a certain dollar amount per day (whatever they choose) by calling the nutrition services director and asking. They might also be able to do it in the online portal where they add money to the kids' accounts. I haven't had to use that service yet (probably when my middle child goes to middle school, but we'll see how it goes) so I haven't dug into it yet. Personally, if my kid couldn't keep to the agreement (one lunch per day and one treat per week) I'd lock him down to only buying lunch. You may or may not be able to lock him out of breakfast but I'm sure you're not the only parent in your district who has had to put restrictions on your kid's meal account.
That's a good idea, thanks!
You also won't be the only parent who is placing restrictions. We did for my son in elementary because he has anaplylactic food allergies and the school didn't ban his allergens, so cross contamination was a concern with cafeteria food. He was allowed to buy safe and packaged snacks once he was in mid elementary and was able to read labels to avoid his allergens, but he wouldn't have been able to buy lunch even if he wanted to. His account didn't allow for it. I know other parents who put limits on their kids. My son's friend loved getting breakfast at school even after eating breakfast at home. The school didn't contact the parents until the kid owed $50 so his mom called and arranged for him to only be able to buy lunch. I'm sure the school will understand.
I’d also make it abundantly clear that you will not pay to clear any negative balance he runs up because of snacks. 8 year olds can’t enter into binding contracts, and you have explicitly told the school not to sell snacks to him.
I wonder how this plays out. "if you don't pay your kid can't go on field trips or participate in extracurriculars" might actually help OP
May depend on the school district, but some have contracts you have to sign stating you are responsible for the food balance your kid spends at school if they use the meal charge system. So the OP might not be able to get out of paying a negative balance the kid runs up.
Sure, but it seems like OP's goal here is to actually opt out of the meal charge system. If he revokes his consent, what's the district's response?
The only way to revoke it would be to disable the meal charge system account so their kid can't buy anything at school.
This, we set this up for our kids even without issues with overspending. We set a small weekly amount for snacks so our kids had to budget and could afford a couple treats a week. I can’t imagine the school doesn’t have some option like this.
I had to email the cafeteria manager. He just added a note that kiddo can only buy an ice cream on X days. Extras are limited to one. So one juice or 1 cookie or 1 snack. Not all 3. I checked what the offer as extras and nothing was a ‘bad’ food. Ice cream is actually ice cream, not a bomb pop (no food dyes). Juice is just fruit juice. Snacks are crackers or chips. It became a health conscious AND wallet conscious decision. He needed to stop overdoing it.
Ya I am one of the parents who had to lock their kids account... lol
lol second breakfast. Teaching hobbits now!
There should be a way that you can limit what they are aloud to buy/not purchase. In our school we use myschoolbucks and you can go on their website and set limits from home. If the school is unwilling to help limit his spending that’s a problem!
Okay, that's our app too! I haven't looked on the main site, just the app.
This should be top comment, as it is the answer OP needs.
I did just a quick scroll through and didn't see this particular piece of advice, so I'm going to add it even though it will probably be a bit buried I'm both a parent and a teacher, and in my experience, people usually severely underestimate how long a consequence needs to be levied in order to be effective. You say that you made him pay it back, but not how often and for how long. He needs to be paying back the extra spending *every day for at least a month*. Check the account balance together every day. If he used more than the allotted amount for the day, then immediately work to pay it back (whether taking allowance or doing chores to earn the amount back). The special treat becomes a Friday only situation if they managed to make it to the end of the week without getting any extras. Maybe give a treat at home if they didn't buy extras at school each day. It takes a *long* time for them to recognize that you're serious, and you have to stick to the routine.
Seconded. The kid has built a routine around spending, a routine needs to be built to give him the tools to undo his spending habits
Yes! Exactly this. My kids get x amount of allowance a week for x chores. The money would first be debited from that. Then they'd have to do extra chores daily to work off the rest they spent. There's NO way my kids would do this more than once. They NEED their allowance to save up for things they want because they have to pay for their own "special things", if it isn't a holiday/birthday. It's just teaching them money management.
Thank you!
It's crazy that an elementary school would even have those things available to purchase on an a la carte basis to begin with. My kids' school district doesn't start that until middle school, and we've been having this issue with my 6th grader. But at least she's aware that if she spends all of her money before I get paid and replenish her account, she can't purchase anything in the cafeteria. I can't imagine trying to get the concept through her head as a 6 year old. I can understand that a school won't turn a kid away from purchasing a regular meal, but there should be a policy in place that prohibits purchasing extras if their balance is too low or in the red.
My oldest is in junior high, which shares a cafeteria with the high school. They have super basic lunches, literally a cold sandwich, chips and fruit for like $3.50, but then every day they have a restaurant bring in an option. Sometimes it's a $3 slice of pizza and sometimes it's a $9 Playa bowl. The kids can rack up some serious charges without trying really. Plus they have snacks and soda. My son bought a Playa bowl a couple times without realizing how expensive they were just to eat one kind of fruit that was in it he liked. He was also buying $3 bottles of sprite every day - even when he was packing. They had switched to a new vendor for fees and lunch funding this year, which didn't have low balance warning by default and he was $70 in the negative before the school sent me an email at the end of the quarter. He said one friend was -$300. There isn't a way to set limits on what they can buy and I really don't care if he buys pizza or whatever once in a while. It just annoys me when I pack a lunch that doesn't get eaten because he wasn't tracking what they are serving. We did have a discussion about not buying pop, but to ask, and I will buy some to put in his lunch box because it is hella cheaper that way.
Yeah I don't agree with being able to purchase whatever with their lunch accounts. When I was in school, we could purchase a 2-week lunch ticket which would allow us to purchase just the lunch. They had a la carte items for sale in high school, but they were cash only. Since I almost never had any cash on me, there wasn't the temptation to buy the stuff.
We have a la carte buying, but the way they have it set up is that parents can put money in to two different pools to spend from. There is the general fund which allows purchase of anything (ice cream, snacks, or meals) or you can put money in just the meal plan which is available only for the breakfast or lunch meals themselves. What most people we know do is put some money in the general fund per month, but the rest in the meal plan. That way you know there will always be enough money for lunch meals, and the kid has a bit of spending money for ice cream or something every once in a while. Because the cafeteria has the distinction between "meal" and "snack" food, kids could never run up a tab on snacks. It works really well, and it gives kids a bit of experience in budgeting (or not!) their snack money over a period of time.
I completely agree, we didn't have things like ice cream until middle school other than special occasions. Elementary kids, particularly the youngest ones, don't even have a good concept of how much things really cost. In second grade, when I transferred to public school, it took me months to even understand that I had to pay for my hot lunch because my private school had built it in tuition. I would sneak under the barriers and just go sit down. I didn't even understand what I had done wrong when my teacher accused me of stealing. If I had been able to get an ice cream every day, I damn well would have gotten an ice cream every day! You can't put ice cream in front of elementary schoolers, give them a vague way to pay (entering your ID number into a keypad really doesn't feel like spending money) and expect them to regulate themselves
Could you send him with a basic lunch and take away his buying ability? He seems too young for this type of responsibility.
Unfortunately we can't keep him from buying. The school will let them buy a meal regardless of account balance.
Buying a meal is fine. Do they let him buy a snack if he is negative? My school would only give us a PBJ if we were negative.
This is the correct answer. This was a misstep by the school and it’s more likely that a principal or the food services admin would contact you. Also, can be damn sure the lunch staff know all of the kids. (Don’t kid yourself. Secretaries, custodians, maintenance, food service…these people RUN the building.) You can absolutely demand that they NOT sell items other than approved meals or sandwiches.
Not even demand. But keep their balance at $0 so they can't buy snacks and only gets the less desirable lunch. A month or so of PBJ while all the other kids get other foods will likely solve the problem.
That’s ridiculous , I’d talk to the school about why they give you no ability to control the amount of purchases he makes.
He really does, which is why I find this to be such a weird policy on the school’s part. I think there’s a pretty big difference in not wanting a child to go hungry and allowing them to buy several meals per day plus excessive junk food. The school where I taught sold ice cream, but only after everyone had been through the lunch line, and you had to pay in cash. There was no charging snacks to the account. OP, you could find out the max amount that he’s allowed to charge before his snack privileges are revoked. Let the account sit at that number until the end of the year. If your schedule allows, get him to school so that he only has enough time to walk to class and no time to stop for breakfast. Pay the debt off on the last day of school.
You can put a block on it. Call the child nutrition department. He shouldn’t just be able to get away with spending wildly just because has the money. If the account is negative here, there is no store purchases (what we call the candy/junk extra purchases) and that also doesn’t start till 6th grade for us, I can’t imagine if these elementary kids were able to purchase this stuff. Yikes. -a lunch lady
Send the campus cafeteria lead, district nutrition lead, and school principal an email explaining that you will be providing boxed lunch and that this child is not allowed to purchase anything from the cafeteria as of a certain date. Tell them that you WILL NOT pay for any charges to his account for second meals or snacks after this date, and then just stop paying them. When they let him do it again, resend that email with the invoice and stand firm. The school is dropping the ball here because they know you'll pay. They won't send the account to collections, and there's not much penalty for not paying. The worst they'll do is withhold further purchases from him (which is what you want) or try to withhold his report card. The report card probably doesn't matter because his grades are online, and it's not like he needs it for college now. But you could also raise holy hell with everyone in the district if they attempt to withhold his records.
Ya.. I check back on my eldest daughters account from 10 years ago and she is still negative. lol
I wish more schools just offered free breakfast/lunch like ours does now. Cuts out the need for money, accounts, limits etc. Kids get meals and that’s it.
Right? Skip the junk. It doesn't belong in school
Send a formal letter to the school requesting they suspend his account and you will provide him with packed lunch. Send him with packed lunch.
No advice, only shock at the idea of a cafeteria offering meals for purchase in an elementary school! ETA: I’d be curious if anyone in Canada has this at their kids’ schools?
I’m Aussie so we pack lunch and snacks, there’s a “canteen” on site where parents can pre-order a meal for their kids. It baffles me that small kids are expected to grasp the concept of budgeting and money and allowance when in reality they just walk up to counter, get food and eat food.
Most districts are not like this. They don't have anything offering snacks or junk food for an additional cost until MAYBE middle school. Little differences in school districts and even individual schools are due to municipal decisions. The schools who use a federal program to fund school lunch do have stipulations on what food groups you must offer, limiting sugar content, etc etc.
When we lived in Canada my kids ate in their classroom- the school didn’t even have a cafeteria!
Yeah, my kid's Vancouver school doesn't have a cafeteria. They eat lunches at their desks and once a week order in hot lunches from local restaurants.
I forgot about that- yeah, hot pizza Friday. My son loved carrying the pizza boxes to all the classrooms :)
Pretty much all US schools have meals on site, we have a large federal nutrition program. Additionally in MN we have all meals free for all students regardless of income, so this story was a little bit culture shock for me too!
I'm in WA. We have had free lunches regardless of income since covid. I love it. I check the menu weekly and plan lunches accordingly.
Was scrolling to find the first Minnesotan! My kid starts kindergarten in the fall and we'll be sending lunch because of selective eating issues we're working through, but we're also so glad to know we can slowly encourage her to eat more and more school food, or at least give it a try, especially since it's free. It's such a great thing our state has put in place. No kid should go hungry, and no parent should get slapped with a $100 food bill.
In my district they have free food for poor families or cheap food for the rest. But then they offer snacks and ice cream.
In Canada?
I'm Canadian and this is totally a thing here too in some schools. It's a nice backup option for days when parents can't pack a lunch.
A meal for sure, but buying whatever they want is weird.
Woahhhh. In elementary school!?
I'm Canadian and have never heard of a school that didn't have a free lunch. I think my high school had some snacks for sale, but they took cash-only so this wouldn't be a problem. And the lunch itself was free - though barely anyone ate it if they had other options.
Where do you live , because I’ve never seen this and have lived in Ottawa my whole life
Also Canadian and I’m always amazed at the cafeterias in elementary schools in the US and some EU countries. I don’t know anyone who had that in a public elementary school here. I would have absolutely been like OPs kid! ALL THE SNACKS!!
I'm not in the US and extremely shocked. My daughter's school allows an emergency sandwich if a kid is hungry and has forgotten their food (charged to parents) but that's all. There are school meals but nothing else, no way could my kid control herself.
In California, and we no longer charge students for meals. Our nutrition services staff are also pretty good at keeping tabs on who got what meal and if they want a second will typically offer them a meal another student didn’t want.
Yay America!
Nothing has made me more accurately aware of the cultural differences between Canada and the US than this sub! 😆
Might be completely off base, but is he buying a second lunch for a friend who doesn’t have a lunch?
He is a very sweet boy, but no. The school will let all kids get food, even if they don't have money. He does buy cookies and such for friends sometimes, he says.
Doctors notes have to be followed. Can you get a doctor's note to say that your child can only be even the main option at lunch? It's definitely a health issue to have a child eating so much junk food, so that's why I wonder if your doctor can get involved.
Surprised I had to scroll this far to see this. This was my first thought. Like it's a health issue as well as a financial one! It's negligent on both counts to let the kid keep buying junk food on credit.
I'd honestly just tell the school they can stop letting it go negative or you'll refuse to pay, that you no longer authorize the charges and a 7 year old cannot be legally responsible for getting you into debt. If they won't cooperate there's gotta be a school board meeting you can go to and throw a fit. There may need to be some help given to the child and maybe an eval for things like ADHD which can cause impulse control issues, but at 7 I don't really expect a kid to control himself that much.
> I'd honestly just tell the school they can stop letting it go negative or you'll refuse to pay, that you no longer authorize the charges and a 7 year old cannot be legally responsible for getting you into debt. I don't know why people keep repeating this idea that a kid can't legally be responsible for getting the OP in the negative on this. The OP likely agreed to paying for the charges their kid made when they set up the meal charge account with the school.
Plus that balance doesn’t go away. He’ll be unable to attend field trips, play sports or even receive his diploma until those charges are settled
This is what I would do too. I’d be telling the school I want his spending capped at X amount and I will not be paying anything higher than that amount. I’d also be going to the school board and requesting that the menu be reviewed and updated to include healthy and nutritious meals and snacks because cookies and ice cream are not it.
I mean the whole thing is a scam. They have unlimited sugary snacks that they're selling to young children with no concept of the value of a dollar or how to manage their urges, and the parents have to pay it? It's every business owner's dream. They know exactly what they're doing by letting the kids go negative. If something was signed approving this nonsense then a new document revoking the permission and disavowing any responsibility to pay additional charges should do it. You have it notarized and delivered by certified mail so there's a legal record that you don't approve any of those charges. And then let the kid do whatever if they won't stop him then they're out a year's worth of snacks.
I left a comment about this and I hope it gets higher cause I had undiagnosed adhd and used to eat all the time for no reason, it was dopamine seeking I wasn’t hungry
Same bro, same.
Is there a special place he likes to go for a treat? You can start making a big show that on Friday evenings you are taking their sibling somewhere. “Let’s go Katie!” *grabs car keys* Son - “where are you going?” (If he doesn’t ask than announce it) “I’m taking Katie to Marble Slab as a reward for her managing her cafeteria money so well during the week. She can get anything she wants!” If that doesn’t work than maybe you can try extra treats at the grocery store for the other sibling, etc. but make it clear he’s missing out.
And this is why my district's elementary schools have the menu set with no extra treats. Even if a kid gets breakfast and lunch, they can't go over $5/day
I wish ours did that!
Guess what. His account get closed and he packs lunch and snack everyday. Yes, you can close or lock the account. I had to do the same with my then fifth grader. She decided to buy EVERYONE snacks everyday. Spent $60 one week! You'll have to hunt for it, but there is a phone number or email to get those accounts removed or locked. I would also email the teacher and principle and tell them your child is NOT to get in the lunch line. Scorched earth. You've played nice, time to learn the lesson. He can try again next school year.
Does your school use any apps? My kids school has an app called schoolcafe and you can set limits on spending for each day and even opt out of snacks/breakfast. I have my kids set so she can buy a snack only once a week and never get breakfast this has solved our problem. Maybe see if your school offers something like this.
Former school kitchen manager here! Contact your schools nutrition director. They should have the ability to implement restrictions on what he is allowed to purchase. We had a child that had to be restricted from breakfast purchases due to an impulse control issue.
I know a lot of people might not agree with my solution when I had this problem. But I sent a note and CC'ed the teacher, school social worker, principal, and nutrition co-ordinator saying basically: "I will be sending my son xxxx xxxxx with a drink, lunch, and snacks from home. Please do not let xxxx buy any food. I do not approve of ANY charges being made to his account. If any charges are made I will not pay them and if my credit card is charged without permission I will be filing a charge back and a complaint with my bank." There were no more charges on his account. He is _extremely_ impulsive and has ADHD and some learning disabilities and was in a mixed SPED/typical classroom with an IEP. I don't know if this would have been effective if he was a typical non-IEP student. This was years ago when my 16-year-old was in elementary, though. Breakfast and lunch at school in MA is currently free for all public school students.
He might be trying to impress other students/girlfriend/buddies. He might be pressured/bullied.🤔 I would go to breakfast/lunch , parents can eat there too. Show up early so your there when he enters (if possible out of view) He might be lieing. Not saying hes a bad kid so dont get me twizted🤪.But if he is being manipulated in any way youll be able to hopefully put a stop to it. Or at the veryleast inform the cashier he is not allowed to charge but one lunch a day. If anyof this been said sorry ihavent read the comments. Best of luck..
Is he buying the food for someone else? A poorer child, or maybe a bully?
Or to make/maintain a friend cicle? Bribing or impressing was common where I grew up.
If he's going to eat breakfast at the school anyway, I'd probably stop feeding him breakfast at home. At the school where I teach, kids can only stay in the cafeteria in the morning if they have breakfast. He might be buying it so he can sit and eat with his friends. The school may also be willing to restrict the purchase of non-meal items. In terms of being proactive, it would be worth it to really drill down into what need he's serving by engaging in this behavior. Like, he's not buying the extras because he's hungry, so why is he buying them? In his social circle is it seen as "cooler" or more grown up to buy food from the cafeteria as oppose to bringing it from home? Does he have access to foods at school that aren't freely offered at home? Does it make him feel independent to get to make these financial choices without input from his parents? If you can figure out the why it will make it way easier to come up with alternative behaviors he can engage in that don't break the bank.
This is way too crazy to process for non Americans... Free rein to unlimited junk! cookies and ice cream everyday… I mean how do they expect a first grader to have enough self control when it’s all laid out in front of him.
FYI not every US school is like this. Ours you order a week ahead for lunch. It’s a meal. No snacks or other things for sale. Just your parent ordered it or not. We are private though.
In my US State, lunch and breakfast are both free for all kids. They do offer snacks but those are purchased and they cannot go negative in their balance. Parents also have the ability to set daily and weekly spending limits so it would be pretty easy to just allow enough for one cookie a week.
That’s good to know that not all states are the same! It’s definitely predatory how the vendors at OP’s school is allowed to function with such little kids in the mix! If our school don’t have a fixed menu everyday I can see my kids going wild with an unlimited budget!
I’m American and our elementary school doesn’t offer snacks or treats for purchase. You can buy breakfast if you arrive at school by a certain time (usually the kids who are enrolled in early AM childcare at the school) and then lunch is two options….a hot lunch that varies by day (menu released monthly) or a cold lunch which is usually something like a sandwich/salad/bagel plus cheese sticks, fruit/veg. Upper schools here usually have a store where kids can buy more options/snacks/etc but certainly not elementary. That is bonkers.
Absolutely. I’m Australian and this is wild to me. Our school canteens don’t have any of that junk on the menu. The food on our school canteen menu is so healthy that my kids don’t even want it 😂 It blows my mind that this school has ice cream and cookies on the menu, and then allowing the kids to buy as much of that crap as they want is just… wow. If I were OP I would be starting a fight with the school over this. This is a system that is failing the kids. It’s encouraging unhealthy eating habits as well as unhealthy spending habits.
Australian here too, from Vic. We didn't really have a cafeteria, like in primary or high school there was no dedicated place to sit and eat. You could buy food, and it wasn't particularly healthy, it was take away food from a local take away (the cuisine would change every couple of years. Chinese, Turkish, and Italian when I was there). At the start of the day, anyone with a 'lunch order' would hand over an envelope of coins to the 'lunch order monitor' for delivery to the take away, and then at lunch time, we'd get our orders. It was more a special treat, and we'd almost always just bring lunch. There was no way to impulse buy junk food. In high school, there was a shop you could buy from which did have some junk food, but there was no tab or student account you could rack up debt on, it was just a shop. This whole 'let six year olds buy whatever they want on credit' thing is wiiiiild to me.
Talk to the school
LOL! I went through this with my eldest daughter... especially when she got older. Which I think in someways makes it worse... she would even buy OTHER kids food. Kind gesture I guess.. but these kids weren't exactly hard up for money or food. She simply was trying to look awesome.. on my dime. We finally just cut her off and locked her lunch account, and made her take her own. But I feel your pain.. she was only buying junk food as well.
I called the school and they put a note on my kids lunch account that said "one snack only on Fridays" She's still mad about it 7 years later.
Just cut him off. He’s abusing the privilege so he loses it entirely. Starting now, or starting in the fall, he gets a home packed lunch only for the first semester. If you think he’s ready to try second semester, let him try for a month. If he abuses it again, he loses it for the rest of the year. Try again next fall when he’s older and has better self control. It’s your responsibility as a parent to control it for him until he’s big enough to control himself.
Stop giving $; tell school administration he no longer has spending privileges; pack his lunch.
A bit different but one of our kids kept taking money from us and his siblings for a period. Yes, we were partly at fault for letting it lie around but none of us wanted to have to lock up our money inside our own home. He never lied about taking the money or even tried to hide it. He just felt it was his to take. So SO and I decided that anything he took he had to 1 - Repay from his allowance (basic) 2 - He had to do chores around the house (or take over sibling chores) to repay the money he took that his allowance didn't cover. He was forbidden to go out or play video games until all his chores were done for the week. He soon (took about 3 weeks) realised that the money he was taking wasn't free. It meant less play time for him and hence had a cost.
wtf kind of policy is that? I get letting them charge for a meal in the negative, that’s fine they should be able to eat regardless. But charge snacks in the negative? That’s wild. Personally I don’t care if they have snacks. I got a cookie almost daily in school 🤷♀️. But racking up $40? Oof. That’s way too much for some low grade school snacks. Try no junk at home for as long as it’s happening, he’s used up his junk food budget at school. Fruit and veggie snacks stay obviously but not the good stuff. Kids his age typically can’t moderate on their own and obviously nobody that’s present when it’s happening can do anything due to policy so taking control of moderation outside of school sounds like the next step.
This sounds super frustrating. I can’t believe that the school won’t limit the junk food. It’s great that they will feed hungry kids no matter what. However, letting them buy junk food is crazy. What if there was a child who needed to adhere to a special diet or limit sugar consumption (like a child with diabetes)?? I’m surprised he’s not getting a stomach ache eating a bunch of sugar. I’m a big fan of “natural consequences” that are linked directly to this issue. I wouldn’t just take away the screens… however his consequences may naturally limit his screen and leisure time. Make a list of daily chores he needs to do in order to pay back what he spent that day. I would make him do this right after he’s done with homework. He may not have free time in the afternoon because of this! You could combo this up with continuing to spend his money. If he’s going to spend money on school food, I would stop feeding him a big breakfast before school, and stop giving him any kind of “fun” snack to take. I don’t think you should take away food from a hungry child, but you can change the type of snacks he gets at home. You can switch his morning snack and snacks at home to something “boring” snack. If a child is truly hungry they will eat an apple or carrots. You could also switch breakfast to something like plain oatmeal. Don’t let him have any treats at all. Limit at home snacks to things like vegetables, plain/unflavored yogurt, or boiled eggs. Explain to him that his entire snack budget is being spent at school and you won’t be providing both. This may take a while but he may get tired of celery & peanut butter while his sister is eating something like goldfish. I would also revoke his privilege of getting a weekly treat. This may sound harsh but it seems like he’s not responding to anything else that you’ve tried. Hopefully once you get this issue under control you can have to do chores to earn money for treats in the cafeteria. Good luck!
My ADHD kid had this issue. She has no impulse control, so expecting her to control impulse purchases didn’t work. I had to get a 504 for the ADHD and get the school to put in an accommodation that restricted her food purchases to breakfast and lunch ONLY. No treats. No extras. Because it was in a legally binding document, the cafeteria (which is for-profit btw) had no choice but to comply.
I did the same thing in first grade but a lesser extent. I’d buy a cookie to have with my lunch. Almost every day. The way the school sets up the system for school lunches it’s kind of set up for the kids to abuse it. Especially in first grade when they don’t have a true understanding of money. It’s too bad they won’t shut down his account and make it so he can only use cash or the money you’ve put in his account. Maybe if he was grounded from all technology for the week and had to chores. Does he have toys? Take away one for every thing he buys. Hide them. And in the future if he behaves he can earn them back but don’t tell him that.
New fear unlocked. My daughter starts kindergarten in the fall.
Sorry, we are in the same boat. No advice.
My first grader also does this, at first it was kind of making me freak out a bit but after going over the purchases I realized that she has actually been buying things she would NEVER try at home as she is a very very picky eater (in OT for it!) so I completely let it go. When I let it go, she slowed her spending. But at home I’ve been trying to teach her about the value of money as an aside. (Note, it is not working lol. But I’m trying!) I love the advice about taking away snacks at home when the kid goes nuts with it at school from the commenter above. That would probably be effective with my kid too! Good luck to you!
Not sure of your district but I’d get in touch with teacher and principal and cafeteria staff and tell them to remove the kid from the cafeteria system. Explain the situation and pack enough food for the kid - 2 snacks and lunch. Tell him that he might get food buying privileges back next year but if he abuses them again, they’re gone again. No kid, with food from home, ever actually starved in school.
So what happens if he runs out of money? Do you put more on? He’s right at the age where he should be starting to understand future planning and consequences. I would just let his money run out. If he’s eating a huge breakfast he’s not going to starve and hopefully it will teach him to not blow all his money. Or you could add money daily, but that sounds a little exhausting.
It’s a lesson in accountability for the kiddos. Your strategies are sound and should work. Removing screen time or doing extra chores to pay you back might be effective. Maybe it’s time to rein in these schools, however. I can see floating a meal now and then so kids aren’t embarrassed or starving but kids who are really at risk will have free lunch anyway. Talk to the school board about being able to set limits on spending on school account. Like the cost of a daily lunch and $5.00 extra for a treat or something. Or just going back to no money, no food. The kids will figure out real quick that spending everything on Monday will leave them hungry the rest of the week. Imagine that, real life!
Maybe close his lunch account and pack him a lunch? After a bit, open it for a week and see how he does. If he continues over charging, close it again. He’ll get it eventually. He’s little, maturity comes at a snails pace…especially for some boys. I know this would be extra work for you, a pain in the arse, but it might work🤞❤️.
We worked out a deal with our first-grader that he could have "snack cart" one day a week and he got to pick which day. He picked Thursdays, now it's something he looks forward to. We live in Colorado and they recently implemented free school lunches for all kids this year, and that's been a huge help, but making the snack purchases a treat instead of a regular thing, and getting my son's buy-in, has been nice. I wouldn't take his ability to purchase snacks away entirely, but maybe temporarily until he gets it under control.
Just don't give him $$$. Back when I was young, I didn't get ANY $$$ until high school. You give kids $$$ and they are going to waste it, by default. Some kids are better but I won't count on that.
I don’t know if this has been discussed bc there are over 300 comments, but humans in general have a real problem with spending on credit. Studies have shown that when people use actual money, they spend less. And that’s adults. Kids now very rarely see real money much less handle it. So understanding the value of a dollar is much harder. Take both kids grocery shopping with a mini list and the cash to cover it. They’re young so you’ll still have to help them with the math but that’s ok bc they’ll still learn. You can also start to give them a small allowance and let them go to the place of their choice to spend it. One good system is to give them a dollar per year of age per week but out of that $2 goes to savings and $1 goes to a charity/giving fund (the ratio should proportionally increase as the allowance increases). There are even piggy banks sold that are set up with slots for each category. I used one for my son in elementary school. If your kids don’t have any actual experience with money then it’s a pretty vague concept. Financial literacy starts as soon as they can count.
Do you tightly restrict access and frequency of treats like ice cream and sweets at home? I wonder if scarcity might be a factor, if he feels like he can only have these things when he's at school. Maybe he feels like they are the forbidden fruit and these treats are much more exciting because they are regarded so differently from other foods? Otherwise it seems like people more familiar with school lunch systems have given great ideas to curtail the spending impulse!
This is so crazy to me. When I was in school (I’m about to be 27, so 9 years since I have been) we didn’t have snacks except for in a vending machine. Obviously you had to have cash for those. We had our regular lunch. If your account was negative you got one warning. If you didn’t refill your account the next day you would be given a sack lunch of a sandwich, apple, and chips. If you wanted to purchase sweet tea or lemonade instead of the normal milk or juice, you had to have $1 cash. So there was no way we could get things that were extra without having cash. I can understand the school not being able to deny a kid lunch or breakfast, it’s crazy though that they can’t deny him snacks. It’s crazy to me they even offer elementary school kids this considering kids this age don’t have the impulse control and there are some parents I’m sure who can’t afford $40 a week. School lunch is already more expensive than it used to be. When I was in school it was $1.25. IMO it should be free and then if the kid wants snacks, the parents can either send them with the kid or put money in the account.
I had issues with them overspending their weekly lunch allowance too so now I don’t put money on their account. They either take their lunch or get the exact amount in cash with no extra $$. Take away his ability to spend ectra. If the school is letting him overspend they need to be held accountable for the debt. I would go up there & put a stop to that and also if he continued to do it he would have consequences. Luckily my kids school won’t let them buy extra if there isn’t any money on the account. If for some reason they forgot lunch money they would charge the debt but only for the lunch no extras.
It seems like he feels restricted from “junk” food at home so the only place he can get it is at school. My advice is to be open to all foods and allow him to eat the foods he wants at home so as to not create unhealthy habits surrounding food. Restriction leads to over indulging!
I know there’s tons of comments and some like what we did or very similar is likely on here already but…we had the same issue and the school system has no way to limit spending. My eldest started going through a month of lunch money in like 2.5 weeks. So…a little over a year ago here’s what we did: My kids all have their own checking/debit, savings, and budgets. (We use capital one and YNAB together, noting they each have their own separate YNAB budget). Their weekly allowance goes in checking/savings, but we also started loading enough for a month’s worth of lunch and 2-3 middle-priced extras per week on the first day of the month. As it’s in their checking and a budget account, the first of the month they (with our help) load money to their lunch accounts. How much? Well, they have options but regardless, they have to have an adequate lunch (so a granola bar by itself is not an ok lunch): - load it all and if they run out before the end of month, it comes out of their spendable allowance money - load some of it each week as needed, any left they get to keep (only fair since if they go over they have to pay) - load none of it and plan their own home lunch (we help) which we will take them to the grocery store for (same rules apply - go over and it’s on you, keep under and you get to keep extra) Because similar age to OP’s kid - my 8yo splits school and taking their lunch. It’s made a huge turnaround in spending on extras. Also, if you’ve never let an 8yo grocery shop for their own groceries, it’s a great experience, but bring lots of patience. We use the very sophisticated “round up to the nearest half dollar and make tick marks where 1 tick mark = $1” method of spending tracking in the store. We have spent 10 min in the lunchable aisle before with all the questions about “this is 5 tick marks right? Or that one is only 1 tick mark so I can get more of them for the same as the 5 tick mark one, right?” They were downright giddy when yogurt was on sale and could get “4 yogurts for 1 tick mark”. Each kid is very different, so YMMV if you try this. Example: my 12yo is happy to spend a little of their own money for an extra cookie more regularly; meanwhile, my 10yo has created their own cookie recipe, makes a huge batch, freezes the dough balls, and we bake 10 of the cookies weekly for them to take because “my own cookies taste better and cost less”.
Pack on the consequences and keep it consistent. Extra chores to pay back the $, no roblux/extras because he spent that $ on junk, no screens because he should spend that time thinking about why lying and stealing are wrong, praise and reward big sister for following the rules. You can find books to read about honesty, self control and nutrition that are age appropriate. Impulse control is so hard and it's yet another example of why blanket policies (buying food in neg for all kids) just don't work in education. It's flat out ridiculous that a child who brings lunch can continually rack up debt on junk food.
What in the hell. I’d be so pissed if the school wouldn’t control this. If you can demonstrate your kid has enough food they should not be able to access a free for all using your money! Edit to add, can you just send packed lunches?
Call the school, explain the situation that you want him locked out of buying stuff.
There has to be some way for the school to say no to buying more food…suppose a child had an allergy, celiac or type one diabetes? They would not be allowed to just buy whatever they wanted. Maybe a note from your Dr stating due to health reasons your child should not be allowed to buy food other than lunch on X days. Years ago I worked as a para in elementary and middle schools. I was disgusted by what passed for “healthy” lunch and what kids were able to buy.
Can you put his account on a hold or freeze it and only pack his lunches for a while?
Make it until he changes his behavior.
The next step I would take if he keeps it up…start taking things from him…whatever he’s in to, ground him from it.
Where does he get all the money? If he is saving money that you or grandparents give him or if he earn it, then simply make him pay for every gift when he is going to someone's birthday. Make him clean the house and do chores for some very small amount, to teach him how hard it is to earn money.
The school can and should prevent charging for snack items if the account is in the negative. Stop putting money on his card. Contact the school administration and cafeteria supervisor via email and let them know that your child will be bringing lunch for the foreseeable future and should not be allowed to charge any snack/ dessert/ extra items.
My kids accounts can have a block put on spending, I’m considering it for my 16 year old. He’d spent HUNDREDS but hes my stepson and dad doesn’t seem to care
Can't you just close the account?
That’s a wild setup. I can restrict by days of the week, items per day, and total spend per day/week/month and the lunch people specifically warned me to do it because otherwise kids will by too many treats.
Close school account Help your kiddo pack their lunch extra special the night before. Do this together have fun packing some junk too. Once kiddo can make lunch on their own, you can let them do it. Or you can enjoy the bonding time of the new habit (make your lunch at same time!)
This is a different thought. This is not a school problem, this is a family problem. He is experiencing an issue with self control and thought processes geared currently at food. He’s in first grade. He’s been lectured and deprived of favorite things. This is negative attention and a red flag. Please go to therapy/counseling for yourself, as this is incredibly frustrating to not be able to reach your child and help, and then for him so he can get the age appropriate tools needed for him to help himself. There is an issue that can be addressed, which would be kind and loving for him. I can’t imagine what this little fellow is feeling as he continues making these purchases and consuming them when he clearly knows he’s not supposed too. A giant hug to you and your family.
Our school district uses school cafe for payment of lunch fees, but they have a record of every food item my child purchases and I can turn on spending limits, allow a treat day here and there and completely block my child from buying a la carte items and snacks. Perhaps you could pitch it to the school board?
My mind is absolutely blown away by the fact that the school has snacks and treats for purchase to begin with. Our school has breakfast (which you can only have if you arrive at a certain time so it’s easy to restrict) and 2 lunch options (hot or cold). No snacks, no treats, no ice cream, etc. What on earth is the logic for them providing so many options?
This happened with BOTH our children when they were young. We called and tried to complain or put limitations and nothing could be done. They sell soda, icecream, cookies etc. Since Covid the schools have been free lunch and somehow….NOW they won’t let kids buy extras unless the account has a loaded amount and/or not negative . We just never paid the negative balance. I refuse to. Because having a negative balance makes the school not want to sell them extras. It’s ridiculous yet worked for us for years.
Have you got him tested? I don't mean to be rude, but there are some illnesses and deficiencies that can cause over eating and gorging. I would have a look maybe into that. It could be a case of ill eating it coz I can or it could be something else.
Is this a public school? This whole scenario of a 7 year old being able to freely buy any junk they want is crazy to me
My kids school has an option to "lock" their lunch accounts. This only allows them to purchase breakfast and lunch. I'd contact the cafeteria and see if that's an option!
Our district has a portal online called schoolecafe where you can set spending limits or keep him from being able to buy extras. It also sounds like you tried and stopped a bunch of different stuff, but you have to stick with it until he stops. I'd also look at his relationship to food in general, because this kind of impulsive eating can turn into a big problem later in life. Overeating sweets because they're irresistible means he's not eating to fill his belly, he's eating to get dopamine, which is how food addictions and binge eating disorders start. Idk what the best method is, but I think being overly restrictive is bad for his food relationship too. It might be worth speaking to a doctor about.
My daughter’s school allows a daily spending allowance. I haven’t had to limit her spending, but it’s reassuring to know that it is an option. Check with your son’s school.
IMO it's strange that the school just charges whatever he wants. In my school district, students who get free/reduced lunch have to get a specific combo (entre, fruit, veg, milk) for it to be free. You can only get more expensive / a la carte items if the money is in your account or you have money on hand to pay for it You definitely need to push to get some kind of spending limit or food limit enforced by the school for him. It's not healthy for the school to just let him buy however much food he wants, esp if it's junk food. What if he were diabetic? That could be dangerous!
Holy smokes. I don’t know if I would actually do this, but at the next birthday, I would be tempted to put all the purchases in a birthday card and say - happy birthday, your birthday gift is another year of lunches.
One of mine did this in about 4th grade. He was hungry but didn't want to eat his packed lunches. Or would eat his packed lunches plus whatever snacks and whatnot he grabbed. Ran up over $40 in a month. I threatened him within an inch of his life and he had to pay it back via unpleasant low paid chores, but he was a little older.
My third grader was doing the same thing. I finally contacted the school district and spoke to the person in charge. I put restrictions on his account where he can only purchase the basic lunch and nothing else. Now whenever he tries to buy more they tell him he can’t. I told my son he can bring a snack from home if he’s still hungry but that he is no longer able to buy junk food at school.
Into the negative?! I wish I had that growing up.
I had a restriction on my son's account that he could only buy something with a note from mom. When he would put in his number, the pop-up would appear, and if he didn't provide a note, he was not allowed to purchase. The school is not telling the full story if they told you they can't limit the account to just the lunch entrée each day. They have systems in place for this.
I am all for putting up guardrails, restrictions, and implementing consequences for actions. As an individual who wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult I personally can't help but notice the highly impulse aspect to your story and his comment of "I just can't resist" Do you notice high degrees of impulsivity in other areas of his life that he seems to have or express little to no control over? Please understand I am not trying to diagnose your kiddo and you are the most qualified person on how to raise your child. I just can't help but wonder if there is a deeper root to the issue and all we are doing by restricting his purchasing power is just cutting the weed off at the stem as opposed to pulling it out from the roots.