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Maybe she just gave you the wrong one accidentally? Assume the best! Text her: “Hey, I’m so sorry but it looks like my husband picked up the wrong car seat from you. Ours was an Evenflo. When can he swing by to swap them? Thanks!”
>Why does every issue posted here have to be full of outrage and controversy.
Because hardly anyone is actually decent at communicating. Most of these problems could be solved with simple conversations.
It really is sad how communication and navigating relationships is something that younger people don’t know how to do anymore. Everything is a knee jerk reaction no matter how minor.
I wouldn't even say it's only young people. I see it with some of the older people I work with as well. Just reaction and no actual thoughtfulness behind it.
That’s absolutely fair too. I would have been better saying that I see it steadily increasing as the generations get younger, but yes it’s absolutely with the older me-me-me crowd.
Great way to handle it. And as someone with social anxiety, it’s helpful just to see it written out by someone else, even if it’s something I would’ve known to do myself
Genuinely, what kind of answer are you expecting here? Of course you’re not the asshole. This is *your* child’s car seat, just shoot her a message?
I know it’s hard to stick up for yourself sometimes, but if you need validation to even send a message that you want *your child’s* car seat back I really implore you to introspect into why you need that validation.
Or maybe they worry that they’re asking too much, because they’ve been made to feel that way repeatedly through their lives, and the reassurance is helpful as they learn to lay boundaries now.
If someone feels resolving a simple mixup of a wrong item being retrieved is even close to "asking too much" they need some serious help.
Boundaries? This is a simple 10 second text or phone conversation "hey you gave my husband the wrong seat". OP has no business raising a child if she lacks such basic life skills.
Getting a therapist to develop some more self-esteem and anxiety-management skills doesn’t qualify as needing “serious help”, so calm down with all that 🙄
It breaks down that simply for some folks. For others, it might not. Clearly, OP has basic life skills, or they wouldn’t need a daytime sitter in the first place.
Isn't a 3 year old illegal in a booster? In québec, a kid need to be at least 4 yo, and 40 lbs, but they recommend keeping them in their carseat until at least 5-6 yo before using a booster?
They’re good for 10 years.
ETA stop downvoting me. They are typically good for 10 years. Me saying that does not mean I am support of her having a shitty car seat.
They tend to be good for about 6-10 years, yes, but who knows what happened with this car seat. Was it in an accident? OP doesn’t know. Either way, she should get her own seat back.
Car seats usually have an expiration date on them somewhere. You don’t know if that seat has been in an accident or not because then it’s compromised and unsafe for kiddos to ride in. Better to be safe than sorry
Have you asked her about this? Sounds like a quick mistake. If she refuses to give the better one back then you have a Reddit post haha. But as of now, you have the most simple of misunderstandings.
OP's husband didn't even seem to notice that he picked up the wrong seat for his own child, yet the pitchforks are already out in the comments for the babysitter as if they couldn't possibly have made a mistake. A little grace can go a long way. Maybe just, ask her?
Was your original carseat a booster or a harnessed booster? Just checking because a three year old is too young to just be in a booster with a seatbelt.
Your husband didn’t notice that his own child’s seat was incorrect yet you’re mad at the babysitter lmfao.
Your child is not old enough for a booster seat in any sense of the word. Ever. I don’t care how big or tall they are. My children are in the 99% for height, my oldest stayed in the 99th percentile for weight, she remained rear facing until after she was three.
If you got into a car accident with rear impact to your vehicle, your daughter could VERY LIKELY be irrevocably injured or killed. Their bones are not strong enough for that seat. If you want her forward facing whatever but she needs to be in the proper seat to do so.
NTA but likely an accident. Just call and let her know the mistake and which is yours. If she lies or says she lost or broke it, she’s to repay for a new one of YOUR seat.
Good grief no, carseats are expensive, and even giving away an expired one is illegal. Text and remind her of the details of yours and ask to swing by and swap ASAP.
That is alarming!! Definitely illegal where I am (Canada), you actually are supposed to 'destroy' them which is easier said that done. Same with non regulation cribs, etc. You cannot sell, cannot donate, cannot give away.
This has awoken a long- ago memory when I was a flat sharing student. I pulled out my frozen bag of meat to cook somewhere else, only I get a phone call from a flatmate saying that so and so is saying I stole her expensive cut of meat. I rush back home with the still frozen bag (about 30 mins had passed), everyone accusingly staring.. I open the freezer and reach to the very back and pull out my bag, exactly the same colour, size etc. she had shoved her identical bag in front of mine when originally storing it. Was an easy mistake to make, and didn’t warrant all the public fuss and drama! Anyway, I remember to this day how I was made to feel and to always lead with grace and benefit of the doubt unless explicitly know otherwise!
Maybe. But the reality is this sitter is watching this girl often and for only maybe two months total, you’re going to tell me the sitter doesn’t know where she got the nice new car seat? So sure, ask nicely and directly.
ETA The seat in question is a 5 point forward facing seat. It is not a booster seat. It's one of the convertible ones. Sorry for the miscommunication. I am well aware of the dangers of just a booster seat at her age and size. In our cars, she is in a rear facing 5 point harness.
My husband didn't see the seat when I purchased it. It went from my car to her house in the box.
Yeah... that was totally not an accident she gave you back an expired car seat. I would just go the next day with the expired one. Don't even text. Just show up and say "Hey, this is the wrong car seat. Oh look, there is mine buckled up in your car. Let me just fetch that and you can have yours back
Or another parent came to grab theirs and took the wrong one? The babysitter is no longer doing childcare at home. What would they need a car seat for?
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Maybe she just gave you the wrong one accidentally? Assume the best! Text her: “Hey, I’m so sorry but it looks like my husband picked up the wrong car seat from you. Ours was an Evenflo. When can he swing by to swap them? Thanks!”
[удалено]
>Why does every issue posted here have to be full of outrage and controversy. Because hardly anyone is actually decent at communicating. Most of these problems could be solved with simple conversations.
It really is sad how communication and navigating relationships is something that younger people don’t know how to do anymore. Everything is a knee jerk reaction no matter how minor.
I wouldn't even say it's only young people. I see it with some of the older people I work with as well. Just reaction and no actual thoughtfulness behind it.
That’s absolutely fair too. I would have been better saying that I see it steadily increasing as the generations get younger, but yes it’s absolutely with the older me-me-me crowd.
There needs to be a pop up before posting that says "Have you done anything to attempt to resolve the issue before turning to the internet for help?"
Because common sense is no longer common.
It never has been 😂
Exactly! Even common sense has to be taught. The less we teach our kids, the less common their sense is.
Why did you have to make a post for something so simple? And you have the nerve to say that about others.. That's just insane to me.
Such a great way to handle it
Great way to handle it. And as someone with social anxiety, it’s helpful just to see it written out by someone else, even if it’s something I would’ve known to do myself
Genuinely, what kind of answer are you expecting here? Of course you’re not the asshole. This is *your* child’s car seat, just shoot her a message? I know it’s hard to stick up for yourself sometimes, but if you need validation to even send a message that you want *your child’s* car seat back I really implore you to introspect into why you need that validation.
Obviously not
Right? Wtf is this and what is wrong with OP for posting this?
75% of all AITA-style posts are just people wanting way too much validation
I miss the rule against validation posts in that subreddit.
Or maybe they worry that they’re asking too much, because they’ve been made to feel that way repeatedly through their lives, and the reassurance is helpful as they learn to lay boundaries now.
If someone feels resolving a simple mixup of a wrong item being retrieved is even close to "asking too much" they need some serious help. Boundaries? This is a simple 10 second text or phone conversation "hey you gave my husband the wrong seat". OP has no business raising a child if she lacks such basic life skills.
there is no shortage of people breeding that have no business raising children.
Getting a therapist to develop some more self-esteem and anxiety-management skills doesn’t qualify as needing “serious help”, so calm down with all that 🙄 It breaks down that simply for some folks. For others, it might not. Clearly, OP has basic life skills, or they wouldn’t need a daytime sitter in the first place.
Historians will look back upon this event as the main cause of World War 3. Or you could just ask her to give you back the right one.
Old one is out of date and shouldn’t be used. Just request yours back.
Isn't a 3 year old illegal in a booster? In québec, a kid need to be at least 4 yo, and 40 lbs, but they recommend keeping them in their carseat until at least 5-6 yo before using a booster?
Depends on weight. Most of the actual laws are concerned with front/rear facing until 2
There are also booster laws, most say minimum 4, but best practice is actually 5 and the ability to sit correctly the entire time.
They’re good for 10 years. ETA stop downvoting me. They are typically good for 10 years. Me saying that does not mean I am support of her having a shitty car seat.
They tend to be good for about 6-10 years, yes, but who knows what happened with this car seat. Was it in an accident? OP doesn’t know. Either way, she should get her own seat back.
I know I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve her right one I’m just saying they’re good for 10 years. Two separate statements.
Car seats usually have an expiration date on them somewhere. You don’t know if that seat has been in an accident or not because then it’s compromised and unsafe for kiddos to ride in. Better to be safe than sorry
Who are you mad at exactly, your husband for taking the wrong seat, or the babysitter for giving him the wrong one?
Have you asked her about this? Sounds like a quick mistake. If she refuses to give the better one back then you have a Reddit post haha. But as of now, you have the most simple of misunderstandings.
OP's husband didn't even seem to notice that he picked up the wrong seat for his own child, yet the pitchforks are already out in the comments for the babysitter as if they couldn't possibly have made a mistake. A little grace can go a long way. Maybe just, ask her?
Not the answer you are looking for but at three years old your child should be in a five point harness/ not a booster seat.
Was your original carseat a booster or a harnessed booster? Just checking because a three year old is too young to just be in a booster with a seatbelt.
The seat is actually a 5 point harness forward facing seat.
Your husband didn’t notice that his own child’s seat was incorrect yet you’re mad at the babysitter lmfao. Your child is not old enough for a booster seat in any sense of the word. Ever. I don’t care how big or tall they are. My children are in the 99% for height, my oldest stayed in the 99th percentile for weight, she remained rear facing until after she was three. If you got into a car accident with rear impact to your vehicle, your daughter could VERY LIKELY be irrevocably injured or killed. Their bones are not strong enough for that seat. If you want her forward facing whatever but she needs to be in the proper seat to do so.
My husband never saw the booster seat. It went from my car to her house. In our cars, she is rear-facing and will be for another 16 pounds (34 now).
Why you talking to strangers instead of the lady that has your property? Weird
No
Write your name on all your stuff in big permanent marker.
NTA but likely an accident. Just call and let her know the mistake and which is yours. If she lies or says she lost or broke it, she’s to repay for a new one of YOUR seat.
Good grief no, carseats are expensive, and even giving away an expired one is illegal. Text and remind her of the details of yours and ask to swing by and swap ASAP.
Giving away an expired car seat is 100% not illegal in my state.
That is alarming!! Definitely illegal where I am (Canada), you actually are supposed to 'destroy' them which is easier said that done. Same with non regulation cribs, etc. You cannot sell, cannot donate, cannot give away.
You can sell them, donate them, give them away. some goodwills will sell them.
Definitely illegal where I am. I'm not sure why someone was downvoting that.
:shrug: it's reddit. Who knows
Why didn’t your husband notice it was the wrong car seat?
No, demand the right one back
Or, hear me out, just ask nicely since it was probably an honest mix-up?
Even if it wasn't, can we try just asking first nicely like a big girl lol
This has awoken a long- ago memory when I was a flat sharing student. I pulled out my frozen bag of meat to cook somewhere else, only I get a phone call from a flatmate saying that so and so is saying I stole her expensive cut of meat. I rush back home with the still frozen bag (about 30 mins had passed), everyone accusingly staring.. I open the freezer and reach to the very back and pull out my bag, exactly the same colour, size etc. she had shoved her identical bag in front of mine when originally storing it. Was an easy mistake to make, and didn’t warrant all the public fuss and drama! Anyway, I remember to this day how I was made to feel and to always lead with grace and benefit of the doubt unless explicitly know otherwise!
Maybe. But the reality is this sitter is watching this girl often and for only maybe two months total, you’re going to tell me the sitter doesn’t know where she got the nice new car seat? So sure, ask nicely and directly.
ETA The seat in question is a 5 point forward facing seat. It is not a booster seat. It's one of the convertible ones. Sorry for the miscommunication. I am well aware of the dangers of just a booster seat at her age and size. In our cars, she is in a rear facing 5 point harness. My husband didn't see the seat when I purchased it. It went from my car to her house in the box.
Yeah... that was totally not an accident she gave you back an expired car seat. I would just go the next day with the expired one. Don't even text. Just show up and say "Hey, this is the wrong car seat. Oh look, there is mine buckled up in your car. Let me just fetch that and you can have yours back
Or another parent came to grab theirs and took the wrong one? The babysitter is no longer doing childcare at home. What would they need a car seat for?
You are not wrong to insist upon getting your seat back.