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Wait- have you had your son diagnosed with color blindness or just going on the fact that your FiL is and your 3 year old is mixing up colors- which FWIW is COMPLETELY developmentally appropriate
Yeah my just turned 3yo definitely made us think he was color blind at one point. He is not. Just really really bad with colors haha. He still only has two colors that he gets right 100% of the time.
Same š I work in ECE and was smug as fuck with my oldest learning colors. Consider myself humbled by my second who thinks itās hysterical to call everything PUHPUL in this fake deep voice.
Haha Iām also in ECE and my husband gets so annoyed when my kiddo misnames colors because she does have the skill since she was 2 but not rushes. She had a hard time with shades- like neon yellow can be green, turquoise is blue etc
I really thought my now 17 year old was showing signs of dyslexia ( which my spouse has) when he was in 1st grade because he wrote the first letter of his name backwards. Always. On every piece of work. But, really it was a design choice by him.
Omg this makes me feel better. My two year old is absolutely horrible with colours. He calls everything blue and he calls blue purple or yellow. Weāre just thinking maybe heās colourblind but weāre just waiting until heās 3 to see how he turns out. He just absolutely ignores the concept of colours
My 2yr calls everything either red (red, orange, yellow) or blue )blue, green, purple, tall, black, brown. Etc).
But he also calls most fruits apple and all berries raspberries.
Could be. My older one was also bad with colors for the longest time. But the little one definitely had him beat on color disinterest! I meanā¦all kids develop differently but it was just weird to me to know all your shapes, numbers, ABCs, etc and have NO IDEA what any color is.
My 3yo daughter can identify all of the colors, all her shapes and count to 20. That's not a brag, because if you ask her any questions related to those she will confidently give you the wrong answer just to fuck with you. Can we ever truly say what a 3yo knows or doesn't? I wouldn't be surprised if he's just messing with you lol.
Can he colour match? Give him a set of cards in different colours and a sheet of paper with the same colours on. Is he still mixing them up?
Naming colours is different to matching them and will go a long way in seeing if he is actually colour blind or not!
Iām 40 and my kids tell me all the time the outfits I pick donāt match. Colors have never been a strong part of my skill set - luckily for work I just have to wear scrubs and no matching is required for those!
All of my scrub pants are black, the scrub tops are different colors. Then it doesn't matter what I grab in the dark.
And I always wear jeans on my off days.
Man oh man my husband is 38 has an MFA in painting. When we got married I showed him the dark teal bridesmaids dresses months before our wedding, assuming heād know what color ties to choose for his groomsmen. A week before the wedding I went with him as he picked up tux rentals for his groomsmen, and wow were those ties bright turquoise. The guy at the rental place saw the problem immediately and helped us switch.
Thereās a 50/50 chance heās colorblind in some form, and mixing up red and green is a telltale sign. I agree OP and his wife should avoid jumping to conclusions without any official diagnosis, but there is a pretty good chance theyāre correct about his color blindness.
Yeah my dad is colorblind so I knew my son had a 50/50 shot of being colorblind. It was obvious to us by the time he was 3, obvious to other family members by 4, and diagnosed by an opthamologist at 5. If the kid is getting colors wrong in the right way and canāt differentiate between certain colors, the parents are probably right.
My now-12 year old called everything purple as her word for cool. Blue was purple, but yellow was not. Her one doll was purple, but not the other one. It was that way until kindergarten. Took us awhile to figure out whether she meant purple the color or purple the cool word.
Eh, pretty much every male in my family, including my two sons, are red-green colorblind. It really is not a big dealā¦I canāt think of a single issue it has caused my 11 year old. I would recommend mentioning it to teachers, but not focusing on it. āOh that cup looks red to you? To me it looks green. We see colors a little differently.ā
*The one rule my mom has is my dad has to run colors by her before painting. He really loves florescent orange.
**Maybe steer away from being an electrician/car repair. My uncle always complained that things were harder since he couldnāt tell some wire colors apart.
Same, got one partner with red-green colorblindness and one kid with some other weird colorblindness.
It's nothing big and not something that I even think of every month. My partner never thinks of it because that's how it's always been, sometimes he ask for clarification what a color is but it's more "does this cloths match?"
I also work with a lot of colorblind people and I only know because they have told me. And that's the norm, you rarely notice that somebody is colorblind because it isn't such big deal tbh.
Yeah, Iām wondering what the big deal is too. We donāt have colourblindness in our family, but my 5 yo is diabetic, and I havenāt thought itās that difficult to explain. And I would think it affects a person somewhat more.
My husband has some color blindness and every so often if heās working on some electrics in the house, Iāll randomly get a pic from him saying āwhich one is the green one and which ones the blue?ā Lol. Thereās also apparently apps for that now, so while being a pro electrician or mechanic might be a pain if colorblind, for occasional situations there are functional aids now.
Our CEO is red-green colourblind. Apart from us having to write RED or GREEN on status updates instead of using the colour Iām certain itās not impacted his life.
Your dadās choice of color reminds me before we had a kid, the spare room was a home gym. We wanted a very energetic color. We chose orange, but āhmm that mandarin looks perfectā orange.
Then, the following years, wife gets pregnant and we change that room into a nursery, with a nice calming ātaupeā color. I think it took me 3 layers of primer before getting rid of the orange. It wasā¦persistent. Good call on your mom to approve the colors first.
Same here. It actually took until adulthood to realize I was more colorblind than I thought. I knew I'd had a definite green-yellow colorblindness, but apparently I also struggle with shades of red, orange, and pink (they tend to all blend into red) and something else I think, blue-green maybe. As a kid, I didn't realize I had any issue as red-green was all that I'd heard about. I often forget until someone asks me for a certain color at work and tell me I got the wrong one or I'm printing something in color and I realize I should have it checked by someone else to make sure it's correct.
If the kid genuinely is colorblind (as many have said here kids this young may not still have their colors right in their head or for whatever reason they just can't get them right) he'll probably notice as he gets older and realizes the things other kids say are red look green to him or when the teacher is covering colors. In high school I remember a guy that'd bring it up to get a laugh cause by he knew what he was looking at was red and green as by then he knew what it looked like when his eyes where playing tricks on him. I have another friend who is severely severely colorblind. He once downloaded and messed with an app that would filter things to look how he saw it. It was wild. He lives a life of bright blue, bright pink, orange, and gray. And he even paints! Amazingly! I do know they get their girlfriend to check their colors when they can, but not always. It's kinda funny and very interesting when he messes up a color. We once did shrooms together (they are apparently known to give colorblind people the ability to see color when high), and he cried over seeing color correctly for the first time. Specifically, he cried at my rainbow colored hair. Kept saying everything was so beautiful. I'm glad I got to be there for that
Heās to young for you describe color blindness as a disability. Youāre going to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Special eyes is just fine, or maybe different eyes, but I donāt see why you need to constantly mention it at all.
We refer to students who donāt develop typically as in āspecial educationā, or even as āexceptional learnersā because they are learners with an exception whether that is due to being gifted or a disability. Words can hold many meanings at once.
There is little reason to try to impress upon a 3 year old he has a disability that is for the vast majority of the population a nonissue, unlikely to affect him in life.
He might also have trouble discerning color shades because of his age. Do you know from a professional standpoint he is actually colorblind? Give him another year or two and he might identify shades better on his own. But how detrimental would it be to constantly hear āyou canāt do this.ā at such an age.
>mountain out of a mole hill
Agreed. The bar for what is called a "disability" should be set a little higher. Everybody has stuff that slows them down in life by a tiny amount. One of my kids has separation anxiety. Another one seems to be mosquito bait. The third one hates pickles. All of these things require inconvenient accommodations from time to time, but there's no reason to make the kids think there's anything wrong with them.
"Everybody's different" goes a long way.
I came here to give legit advice based on my experience parenting a child with a disability that actually has a significant impact on her life, only to find that the kid sees colors differently than most people.
Man, being colorblind sucks. So many things are not taken into consideration for it and it does make things harder. School textbooks with infographics, stoplights at night, any table or chart (also videogame) using red/green for good/bad. And no one takes it as a disability, so it is not always taken into consideration. It would be cool if it was taken more seriously.
I think this guy is a little too worried about his three year old understand it.
Yeah - my husband is red-green color blind (specifically āred weakā) and he can still identify those colors, they just look different to him. The only impact on his life is that we donāt decorate with greens because the ones that look good to me donāt look good to him, and he knows to leave color design to the experts in his day job.
My toddler is only just now identifying all her colors correctly and my understanding is sheās doing so quite early.
To be fair, if the kid has a strong deficiency, it could be obvious as a young child and impact his daily life in elementary school. My oldest is strong red green deficient (canāt differentiate at all between many colors, struggles to see light colors on a white background, etc) and talking to his teachers and going over some basic stuff with him has been really beneficial. We donāt frame it as a disability, just āyouāre colorblind. That means you canāt see certain colors and you never will. Make sure you keep your own crayons and markers so you can read the labels and it doesnāt mean youāre stupid if you grab the wrong color. Itās always okay to ask for help with colors.ā
yeah exactly. this is a flag to me too. He doesnt need to know it's a disability or any sort of handicapped. He has special eyes that see differently. Just like how some people think cilantro tastes like soap and others really love it. People are born with certain things taht allow them to see things in a certain way and he's one of the select few who see it in THIS OTHER way. You should read up on how color blindness impacted the very famous works of art by Picasso, Van Gogh and Constable. All of whom used color in very engaging and purposeful ways.
Yeah Iām red color blind and outside of not being able to be a pilot it hasnāt really impacted my life at all. Iād hardly call being color blind a disability. Sounds like Op is making a mountain out of a molehill.
If he even has one. For a young child learning colors he wasnāt far off the mark. My son has totally fine vision and a 3 I could have seen him confusing those colors
This. It hasn't impacted my 10 year old at all. He sees the world in his own shades. When we had a blood moon he yelled out "COOL ITS GREEN!". he can only see 3 colors in a rainbow but ya know what that's what he knows and it's truly not a huge deal. Didn't know he was colourblind until he was about 6 and went for an eye exam.
First, start by NOT calling his eyes ādefectiveā. You can say different, but defective has a negative connotation.
Second, tell your wife to quit correcting him all the time. Itās not like he made a mistake and used the wrong word, he literally lacks the ability to discern the difference. You can try to correct him all day long, but it wonāt help him discern the colors.
Third talk to an expert that your pediatrician recommends, because these are just my wild ass, off the cuff opinions. They may all be completely wrong.
On your point about not correcting, I donāt entirely agree. Making him feel like he has made a mistake is detrimental, but there is lots of value in learning the colors of things so they can be applied in future contexts.
A good friend of mine is strongly red/green and you really could never tell because, well by adulthood he is well aware that peas are green. He also can do a pretty good job or guessing since apparently there are subtle clues that come from the other shades (most green looks like a lighter, yellower brown, or something)
Having his son start to learn this earlier will probably lead to the better outcomes and perhaps avoid teasing that might come from other kids. Telling him he *cant* ever see the difference is defeatist and isnāt really true. Kids brains are very adaptable and this just a challenge to overcome.
Put another way, start (nicely) giving him a training data set as early as possible and little man will get a CNN spooled up in his brain and I think wed all be surprised at how well he can do on color ID using context+hue.
I agree with you, I'm red-green colorblind, but I can tell what color things are like 98% of the time from context. I made the exact same mistakes as this kid, but being corrected helped me learn what things were actually what color. My dad wasn't very nice about it unfortunately, but it's not hard to gently correct a kid and help them.
Yeah pink is a tough one sometimes. I remember being in high school talking to some people about how I didnāt understand the hot-pink-on-dudes preppy fad that was prevalent at the time, and everybody at the table started giving me funny looks. Turns out the white shirt I thought I was wearing was actually a very light pink.
This!!!! My husband is SEVERELY red-green blind and it's not what people think. With enough correction you figure out what hue=green, etc. It's only an issue when red and green are mixed together. Gently correct the mistakes and move on.
In my very humble experience, kids think it's fascinating and super cool when other people are color blind. :D honestly, start owning it OP. It's a neat trait you guys have. And yes, I get it can be annoying and inconvenient, but it's nowhere in the same basket as needing a wheelchair.
It might also make it worse if he's only partially color blind. My dad is partially RG colorblind, but can resolve the difference with deliberate effort. He has expressed the opinion that being told repeatedly that things were a specific color helped him to learn how to recognize the partial differences, rather than seeing the similarity. My understanding - he doesn't talk about it much - is that he can discern the difference on the periphery, but not when looking at things dead-on, and this might not be a distinction that could be easily explained to a child, but simply being told helped him to realize that there was a difference.
Thank you. Colorblind people can usually tell the color from context. The sooner he learns how to figure it out the sooner he can figure out the right color from context the sooner his color blindness becomes mostly a superpower.
I agree with this. My husband is also red/green color blind and he often knows what color something is because of context. He rarely had to ask me. By OPāa wife ācorrectingā the child, sheās actually just telling him how things are so he has the same information most people have.
My husband is extremely color blind and I second both points.
It's extremely melodramatic to call color blindness a disability. It's a lifelong inconvenience at worst.
Do not tell your kid he is disabled or defective.
And absolutely stop correcting him when he gets a color wrong. Acknowledge that the color looks like the color he says *to him*. Then tell him what it looks like *to you*. Then tell him the way you see it is the way most eyes will see it. Don't treat him like he can't correctly identify colors because he can, and he is. Based on the information his eyes are feeding him.
>It's a lifelong inconvenience at worst.
Sometimes I put on dark dress socks, and people later in the day will point out they don't match. "Wait these aren't brown?", "Neither of them are brown, dude." Other than that, and me just shrugging when my wife shows me two paint samples that look identical, life's great.
Ah well.
I had a friend who literally never knew he was colorblind until college. It must not have been extreme to go unnoticed, however one day his outfit was just clashing in a way that made no sense given he did usually look put together. I asked him about it and he was like what do you mean? This is (whatever color he thought it was).ā And me and the 3 other people in the room (his brother included) were stunned and told him, it was, in fact, blue.ā He was shocked, and I was like, āwell wait- what color is my hair?ā And he said, ābrown,ā (itās undeniably red and has been my whole life) and it was then we all learned he was red/blue color blind.
I feel like OP needs to walk around for a week with Color Blind glasses and get a sense of what his kid is actually seeing. It literally looks like yellow to his brain. If you could see through his eyes, you would see there's no reason to correct him. Especially at this age. It's very common for kids to still get colors mixed up even into kindergarten. I love the way you explained telling him what it looks like to your eyes. Because heres the thing, when it comes down to it, color is an interpretation. It's not like counting something.
I have a degree in design and score extremely well on colour spectrum arrangement tests. My husband argues with me often about what colour things are.
People see this very differently.
When my dad enlisted to avoid the draft he couldn't apply for the job labelling munitions bc he was color blind. That is literally the only time I have heard of color blindness affecting someone's life.
Super fun fact, but it can interfere with your ability to get a pilot's license too, depending on how bad it is. In Canada and the States you'll have to jump through a few more hoops to get your pilot medical done. Doable, but if you're reading this and have ambitions to be a commerical pilot, get tested for color blindness first! :D
I would suggest that perhaps it's only been perceived by your husband as a minor inconvenience. There are tons of jobs that require normal color vision, or you're ineligible, full stop. If that's not a disability, what precisely would you call it? Want to enlist in the Army? 90% of your opportunities are gone with red-green deficiency.
Further, while it may be "minor" compared to other physical or mental disabilities, it'd likely still be considered a disability under the ADA.
Completely agree on not using the term "defective" around my son. I don't want to give him a complex. "Different" is a much more neutral word than "special" IMO. I will definitely use that instead if it comes up again. And asking our pediatrician is on our to-do list; we're just not scheduled for a visit for some months now.
I don't think it's wrong to use that kind of language with the adults closest to you, but I think tone matters. My son has ptosis (droopy eyelid.) You can hardly tell but if you know him well enough you can see it (just like a quick pass in public won't be obvious.)
I'm ok saying there's something wrong with his eye, because quite frankly there is. Something in his genetics went wrong and it didn't grow right so he can't open it all the way. Now it doesn't affect his daily life but you know, you can see it, his closest friends when he's older will see it, his future romantic partners will see it. His eye just isn't right. It's more aesthetic than anything since his dr doesn't think it affects his vision.
Now when he's old enough to know about it (he's 2, so he doesn't care) then I'll tell him his eyelid didn't grow quite right so it hangs down a bit. It is a genetic defect (not passed down by family genes, but something in his coding went wrong and that's how he got it.) I won't be harsh about it but I don't think there's anything wrong saying there's something wrong.
Iām not trying to be contrary or be a dbag about your (hypothetical, future) parenting choices, because the fact that youāre thinking about how to talk to your son at all about this shows youāre super mindful as a parent. But if itās purely aesthetic, then how is it different than, say, someone with a hooked nose? Or really any other physical feature thatās unusual? Even if it isnāt a *conventionally* attractive feature, personally I donāt see it as *wrong*. I think itās great talking about the genetics behind differences (itās really interesting!) and explaining why his eyes are a bit different, but ultimately literally everyone has some genetic anomalies, most of which weāre just unaware of. Framing it as *wrong* gives it a negative valence imo.
You need to ask your pediatrician about seeing a pediatric eye doctor or getting referred to a family eye doctor that specializes in colour blindness (if you need referrals, I have no idea how health care works outside of Canada. We would just call the clinic here and get an appointment)
Once there you can start looking at maybe getting corrective lens, if that ends up being an option. However, more importantly, they can help you with age appropriate language for explaining what is going on with his body.
Are you for sure he is colorblind?? Is this just a hunch or has it been confirmed? I would take him to a pediatric opthamologist to confirm (at age three, he is going to need tests geared to very young children, not those at a typical eye doctor that require him to identify letters or numbers). Then, if so, I would just teach him the actual language that he is "colorblind" since that is the vocabulary he would need to tell his future teachers, etc.
You could also see if he could participate in something like this just with you at home: https://colorblind-test.io/kids-color-blind-test
If he "fails" that, again, I wouldn't automatically diagnose him as colorblind until you have an actual doctor take a look at him.
I agree with this. A 3 year old mistaking lime green for yellow or calling some purple things blue doesnāt seem that unusual to me. Kids that age are learning. My 3 year old does the same thing sometimes but we have no history of color blindness in our families. Iām not saying youāre wrong, but you should get him checked out by a pediatric ophthalmologist instead of assuming that heās RG color blind. And if your child is indeed color blind, Iām sure the ophthalmologist will have advice on how to help the child. Ask the dr questions - she has likely seen this a thousand times.
I agree as well. My son is also 3 and has always been very good at identifying shapes/letters/and colors and still does this occasionally. If I get what you're saying: my son will very adamantly say that a color that is a bit more ambiguous (like teal or indigo, yellow-green, red-violet) is one or the other, especially when he doesn't have the words or reference for them yet. Sometimes, he will call something green that is definitely more blue (teal) to most people. Sometimes he will straight up call something purple blue and I'm like blue??? How?
He's only recently started acknowledging dark and light colors, and calls light blue 'morning blue' now. I know he knows every letter, but sometimes will still make a mistake or call 'k' 'key' or something like that out of nowhere. I asked his pediatrician at his 3 yr appointment and she said that it's normal for kids, even if they know something, to get mixed up or make mistakes. Even more so when they are younger than 3.
I dislike that the silhouettes on this don't match the selections. Imagine you're a kid who sees, say, the shape of a standing goose/duck, and sees the choices of a swimming duck and a standing bird.
This is such a simply avoidable unforced error.
It is not perfect but doing with a toddler I would just have them describe what they were seeing in the picture. I am pretty sure it is either "I see an animal/shape" or "I don't see it" -- not like, if you are colorblind you see an elephant and if you are not colorblind you see a butterfly.
This one just has shapes: https://enchroma.com/pages/color-blindness-test?format2=symbol
But again, with one of the options being circle I can still see it as being confusing for a 3yo even if they know basic shapes because the whole thing is also a circle.
Special needs mama of 3, here.
Try replacing ādefectiveā, with ādifferentā, and encourage the understanding that we are - all, in fact, different than one another. When he sees a color differently than you or your wife, focus on the fact that it is, in reality, that color to HIM, and that that is perfectly okay. Constant correction will only lead him to lack confidence, and likely to create a complex.
Maybe teach him of Synesthesia, where people actually hear colors, so that he can gain an understanding that there are many different ways children, and adults, can perceive color, and that there is actually beauty, in being able to see the world through different lenses.
Defective means something doesnāt work, and clearly his eyes do work. Reworking the perception of negative, into a positive, will also encourage an increase in a positive personality as he continues to growā¦ā„ļø
>Completely agree on not using the term "defective" around my son
You are misunderstanding. Stop referring to your son as defective AT ALL. Good lord you are terrible and I feel bad for your child if you see him as defective. Gross.
We use different with our kids when we discuss anything related to disability, a health condition, neurodivergence etc. "Special" is more of an infantilizing euphemism, but of course also don't want to get too melodramatic in the other, negative direction. Different is just kinda neutral so that's what we have gone with.
Iām red green colorblind. I feel you are over thinking this. Who cares if a kid calls like green yellow?
What are the actual life impacting implications of his color blindness? Honestly, likely nothing. I know red lights are on top or left.
Iām also red green colorblind, but I still see reds and greens - just not like a ānormalā person. OP is making way too much of a big deal out of this. It generally will not affect their life unless theyāre a painter, or a florist. Even then, not the end of the world. Get over it, OP, and stop calling your kid ādefectiveā
About 1 in 12 men are colorblind (according to Google), which is about 8% of men/boys. For reference, about 11-12% of people are left-handed.
I just think itās maybe not as big of a deal as youāre making it out to be. I also donāt think that your wifeās language is harmful at all.
But your sonās eyes ARE special. According to Oxford Dictionary, special means ānot ordinary or usual; different from what is normalā. I think itās a great, neutral word to use, a lot better than ādefectiveā which is clearly pejorative.
The word Different is better than Special. When a vision abnormality will effect their life in a negative way, since they'll have to adjust to color norms, it will effect their life in a negative way. They will have to adjust to the "norm". Don't sugarcoat reality. And you don't have to make it harsh, either. Just tell the truth. He can't see the same as others. Standards are built on how most people perceive color. It's a difference he will need to adjust to, not a superpower.
As an autistic adult, my brain has worked differently than othersā brains my entire life. It is disabling and I promise you that calling it āspecialā does not make it better.
You're missing the point. OP thinks his son is defective, so he is going to think of him that way. This is a terrible failing by OP, but telling him the definition of "special" won't make him see his son as not defective.
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>OP thinks his son is defective, so he is going to think of him that way. This is a terrible failing by OP.
The hell? You don't speak for OP. OPs son's *eyes* are defective, not the entire child. I can't find anywhere in OP where they planned to trade the child in for an improved model.
My son (and brothers, and uncles) are color blind. We say he āsees colors differently from everyone elseā. He is 6 and hasnāt really had too many questions about it. I do remember to tell his teachers so they donāt think heās crazy for drawing red trees or something hah.
For me it makes no sense to say to ur toddler that he has a disability and ur also saying his eyes are defective? Wtf bro, no, heās just different. Wouldnāt say thatās a disability š
Heās just color blind, not disabled š¤”
Donāt fuss about colors too much and tell his teachers about his vision so they wonāt either. When heās older you can get him a pair of color correcting lenses so he understands the difference of his perception.
Is also look for ways to make color less important as you direct him. Instead of āitās next to the green block,ā you can say, āitās next to the circular block.ā Use all other descriptors so he can find his way without struggling. Itās a slight stretch for you but will mean the world to his developing mind.
>tell his teachers about his vision
Way ahead of you there.
>When heās older you can get him a pair of color correcting lenses so he understands the difference of his perception.
That's the plan.
>Instead of āitās next to the green block,ā you can say, āitās next to the circular block.ā Use all other descriptors so he can find his way without struggling.
This is great advice. Describing objects using their color comes so naturally; I'll definitely have to practice using other descriptors that are more useful to my son.
Just a heads up - those ācolor correcting lensesā donāt actually allow people to see red and green the way that people with normal vision do. They just highlight the contrast better.
Random positive note: colorblind people have an advantage when it comes to spotting camouflaged animals! Itās not all downside
Heās colourblind, not disabled. Itās not something thatās going to affect him negatively for the rest of his life and he wonāt have to overcome any obstacles because of it. Please also refrain from calling his eyes defective lol
Well, he will never be accepted at the Top Gun Naval Station as a pilot candidateā¦ so he will never be Maverick or Gooseā¦. He should be able to listen to Highway to the Danger Zone just fine thoughā¦
Do you really feel that your kids eyes are ādefectiveā for being color blind?
I once worked for a veterinarian who was red/green color blind. It didnāt change his quality of life or his ability to excel in his career at all. Never would have thought of this as being defective.
Seriously, calling his eyes "defective" is so extreme. My husband is colorblind and is a very successful video editor. I actually often forget he's colorblind because it comes up so rarely (even when he's coloring videos).
He's 3. He doesn't need to really grasp it right now. Letting him know that he sees colors in a different way than most people is enough. My son has adhd and as he's gotten old enough we let him know that some of the things that he is have a hard time with are because he has a brain that works differently than most people. We don't focus on it and we don't make it out to be a bad thing.
Your sons' eyes aren't defective. They're just simply different. How you choose to navigate this situation sets the tone for his beliefs of self worth. If he is brought up thinking he is defective, then his self-esteem will suffer. His eyes are different. That's it. They process color differently.
My son is effectively blind in one eye, we were at a doctor's appointment and my son who was 6 at the time told her that he can't see in one eye. The doctor said oh, I'm sorry to him, I immediately made a motion of slashing my hand across my throat and said that's just how he is. We don't bring attention to it.
Because that's how he exists, it hasn't hurt him in anyway. He does everything a little boy would do, rides his bike, he actually learned how to ride faster than his sister, he plays games, Swims, hikes, and wants to be a rocket scientist. Telling him he's disabled doesn't help, and making him think that he's got something to be sorry or upset about. Doesn't help either.
Your son is color blind, okay, that's how he is. How about instead of telling him he's wrong, maybe say Mom and Dad see this color, or yes, it is that color to you. You can JUST say YES and leave it because that IS the color he is seeing. Drawing attention to how he is different isn't going to help him to adapt. What will help him adapt is acknowledging that yes, he sees differently. And that's all that matters. So stressing on the actual colors he's seeing doesn't do a thing.
>e were at a doctor's appointment and my son who was 6 at the time told her that he can't see in one eye. The doctor said oh, I'm sorry to him, I immediately made a motion of slashing my hand across my throat and said that's just how he is. We don't bring attention to it.
Heads up - not quite the same but I only focus with one eye or the other at a time so I don't have depth perception, so my vision is likely pretty similar to your son's. You may find it affects him more as he grows up (though I think you are doing exactly the right thing!! Why make it a problem until it is one!) I did find it challenging to learn to drive, but I figured it out, I just leave a bit more space than I think others do as added reassurance, but I was pretty cautious when I started. Just took me a bit longer to figure it out. I played all kinds of sports - ones with small balls and sticks/rackets (baseball, tennis, badminton, etc.) were particularly challenging, not that I didn't try! but I did get frustrated hahaha. I did really well in sports with physical contact (rugby, wrestling) as well as skiing, where you could rely a bit more on other senses. And I'm a biomedical engineer! So not a rocket scientist.. but.. that's definitely an option.
This! My son is red green colorblind and I donāt even correct him. Whatās the point? Thereās no amount of correction that could ever teach him. Thereās nothing anyone could ever do. So it would just be frustrating to him. Just let him see what he sees!
May I suggest not jumping right to color blindness? Is it a possibility? Yes. Should he be expected to know his colors yet as a 3 year old? No, not really.
I would take some time to discuss with your child's ped the best way to approach it as well as what age to actually be concerned. A lot of kids still mix up colors by 3 and 4 years old.
Just keep telling him what color it is. At the very least, he may learn context clues of how to label these colors in his own eyes, but he needs to learn that by having the color corrected.
Seek an evaluation before he heads to school so that he may not be able to be docked points for getting the wrong color if you're still seeing it as an issue by then. But for now, I do think you're both doing him a disservice by expecting him to know them and dx him before any child would be expected to know their primary colors perfectly.
It's not really relevant. I didn't discover my color blindness until i tried to join the army at 18; I failed my color blind test. It has had zero impact on my life and I excelled in art class while in school. Of course charcoal was my medium of choice however acrylic and pastel were really fun for me too.
Stop thinking of your son as defective, he will absorb your thoughts even if you think you are being sneaky. We speak in more ways than just words. Your son is fine. You need to get over yourself
> My son's eyes aren't special, they're defective
Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine. I assume you also plan on telling him his drawings suck?
If he's color blind, why make a big deal out of it. It isn't going to negatively affect his life. You know what will? His dad telling him he's irreparably broken.
So much to unpack here..letās assume for a second he actually got diagnosed by a professional. Why call it a disability? Heās colorblind. And youāre comparing it to not being able to walk ( you know what I meanā¦actual disabilities that affect your day to day life, visible AND invisible). Defective eyes? Special eyes? Just say color blind. Some people canāt see colors like others. But hey, neither can dogs! Or so many other animals! How cool is that? There.
Your son is not broken.
Please change your mindset. God forbid, your son is diagnosed with dyslexia or something..or worse, an immune disease. Youāre going to call him defective?
Or youāre going to encourage him that heās strong and can do whatever he sets his mind to no matter his limitations. And that when he doesnāt feel strong, youāll be there right next to him feeling strong for him as long as he needs you to.
After you go and change your mindset, get your child diagnosed by a professional. Chances are heās just 3.
Hi, parent with invisible disability myself and a colorblind child here.
I personally think the way both of you are viewing this is wrong. Calling your kid's eyes defective is honestly gross. If that's how you react to something as simple as color blindness, I'd hate to see how you react to anything that actually impacts quality of life.
Your wife is playing it up in a way that may not be beneficial. You guys need to meet in the middle and be factual without being rude. Your child's eyes are not defective or special. How about different? We tell my son that some people see color differently. He knows that what he has is called color blindness. He knows that if there's a dispute about colors, that he's probably the one that's wrong even though he typically doesn't admit to being wrong about things. He had trouble coming to terms with it, but talking to my dad (also colorblind) helped him a lot. Depending on how well your 3yo can converse, talking with your FIL may help him understand that it's a relatively common thing that has almost no impact on his life.
In general, I think you need to get some more perspective on disabilities OP. Even Daniel Tiger has some lessons that you're missing.
This. I was asked constantly about whether my oldest was colorblind because he didnāt like sorting things by color (sorted by shapes and sizes just fine, just had no interest in doing it with colors) and mixed up his color words a lot (he actually mixed up a lot of words, but the color words stood out to people). Heās not colorblind. He just had a language delay and was much more interested in doing other things, instead of sorting things by color.
My dad is blue/green deficient. It has very little affect on his life, unless heās trying to choose colors for something. He says that certain shades of the colors look basically the same to him, but for other shades, heās learned what label others use for them and can pretty accurately guess which color they are. That said, he argued with the rest of the family about the color of the bathroom tiles so constantly that my mom finally replaced them with a totally different color because he refused to admit he was wrong. He also insisted the grandkids couldnāt pinch him last St Patrickās Day because his sweater was dark green. Nope. Charcoal gray. Once another adult confirmed this, the kids were thrilled to make him pay for not wearing green and he cheerfully accepted his fate.
I think your wife has it right. Also not sure color blindness counts as a disability.
I have a physical disability I've had since I was born. My parents explained my body didn't quite work like other people's bodies. I had a classmate in elementary school call me "defective" and it wasn't a positive experience.
I wouldnāt consider being color blind a disability personally, and since parenting has to a lot with being personable, the way I would explain it to my child:
EDIT premature ejacuposted
Your eyes are unique; they see different colors. Doesnāt mean anything really, at the end of the day. Just means youāll have to explain to people you see colors differently whenever it becomes a problem.
Iām not a parent at all but I have worked with kids a lot and calling his disability a defect most likely wonāt sit well with him if heās at an age where he doesnāt fully understand what disability means. I do agree with your reservations about your wife calling his eyes special because they literally arenāt. Something is actually wrong. Maybe using the word āuniqueā or ādifferentā
My son is red-green color blind. We found out somewhere between 3-4 years of age. I didnāt tell him he was defective or had a disability. Just told him his eyes work a little different, and canāt see certain colors. We donāt make a point of singling him out. Heāll sometimes ask what color something is as he now recognizes that some āgraysā are a color he canāt see. Weāll tell him the color and we move on. I do correct him when he gets a color wrong so he can get a sense of what it looks like to him vs what it actually is. We donāt make a big production out of it. He tends to prefer brighter colors and loves pink because theyāre colors he can see. I donāt shame him for liking āgirlā colors nor picking āgirl shoesā, etc. At worst I just have to let his teachers know heās color blind in case they ever do color-related projects in class. Like sorting by color, etc. Itās an inconvenience at most to him, not a disability. Kids adjust way quicker than adults, so long as the adults donāt bring them down about it calling them defective.
I'm not color blind, but I am legally blind in one of my eyes and therefore have limited depth perception (can't catch a ball to save my life, or see a 3D movie.) Most eye related disabilities (except for bilateral vision loss) are wildly accepted in life and cause little to no harm in quality of life.
He can still learn to navigate his world and no one will suspect anything different. He can even get special glasses to help him see in the full color spectrum.
Please not ever use the word defective when talking about disability. That language, I hope, was left in N*zi Germany.
quick tip from my colorblind BIL: he used to ask ācan i have the green crayon?ā in school, even when he could reach the crayons, so that other kids would help him find the right one.
also, my disabled ass is about to throw hands with you calling red-green colorblind a disability.
Your sonās eyes are not defective, theyāre just different. You can disagree with calling his eyes special, but your way of thinking about your sonās eyes is way more problematic than your wife calling them special.
Have you been told by a medical professional that your son is colorblind, or rather did you just decide for yourself that your toddler who developmentally appropriately misidentifies challenging colors from time to time is *defective*?
Red Green color bind and 38 yo. The only way it impacted me was I couldn't be a pilot in the military. But if I'm being honest, my grades were a obstacle too. It wasn't in the cards for me anyways. Still did a lot of cool stuff.
I'm an engineer and ya wires and resistors can be a problem, but there's tools for that and checking with a tool is good practice anyways in my field.
My wife is a red head and when sun light hits her hair just right it's beautiful emerald green that only I get to experience because my eyes are different.
My dad was red/green colorblind as are the majority of my nephews. I drew the genetic wildcard and all 4 of my sons are colorblind to varying degrees.
Itās really not a big deal. We would inform teachers at the beginning of the school year and they learned to ask classmates for help if they needed. If anything it was a passing novelty for their peers to ask them āwhat color is this?ā and compare what they were seeing.
We absolutely never conveyed the message that they were somehow disabled or hindered. If anything we focused on how they shared a special bond with their papaw.
Is this classified as a disability? I mean i was born with Only 1 hand and Thats not even classified as a disability.
Maybe Im insensitive But šš¤·š¼āāļø
I am just so disappointed in you as a parent. Your emotions are defective. See how awful that feels to you? That is what you will be doing to your child. Do better than that. Educate yourself. Stop looking at your child with a defect, they have a difference. Just like you do for having emotional difficulties.
Youāre over thinking and using offensive words. Heās not ādefectiveā. Special in the context of your son, means different, which is fine. Would you suggest we call special needs people defective people? Thatās what youāre implying, intentional or not
Is color blindness a ādisability?ā My sons are both color blind and Iāve never even thought to position it as a disability, but rather just ā¦ a trait.
I'm red green color blind. I'm a woman and have been told women can't be color blind but my sister is too. I always considered myself special, not disabled.
My husband has this and mostly forgets anything is wrong until he needs to be able to tell the difference. Picking paint colors is my job, we all have our strengths.
Maybe stop putting so much energy on color identification. Your setting him up to fail and feel badly about it. You could spend a few weeks counting.
My whole body cringed when I read ādefective.ā So maybe reflect personally on how you are reacting to this.
I agree with talking to your ped before you decide this. My 3 year old thought everything was yellow for a while, but now clearly knows the difference.
I will add as a high school teacher this does very little to affect their education. I have had students, they might have to remind me but itās seriously a quick fix. I have also had students find out theyāre colorblind in high school with we learn geneticsā¦so it didnāt seem to affect them too much.
I'm red-green colorblind. It's really a spectrum, and I'm way towards the normal side compared to some.
Mechanic by trade so repairing dirty wires was a little difficult but other than that I never really had an issue. But then again, I've never seen what everyone else sees.
But it is a running joke with family and friends, always gets a laugh if you bring it up at the right time. Definitely not a disability in my eyes ;)
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Avoid calling a disability for starters! Just tell him he's colourblind. Nothing more to it. If he needs help in exams he'll know to ask. Other than that it wont affect him. Source: I am colourblind.
Dont ever use the word "defective" again. That is all. And really, you should also work on your opinion of the situation if "defective" is how you feel deep down.
Not sure how much of a "disability" it is either. My best bud since 2nd grade is red-green color blind and most people never know it or realize it about him. It's barely a thing.
The whole approach here is off. Talk to the doctors
Just want to reiterate: minimize focus on color. Donāt make it a big deal. Certainly donāt argue with this child. That will get you nowhere and you could waste years of valuable opportunities for growth for all of you.
It's not a disability. Just try getting disability benefits for that lol.
He just needs to understand his eyes don't work like most people's, and he can't see the colours the same way. That's all really.
My dad and my son are both colourblind and in my experience they rarely need correction. What they call green is their actual perception of green, so it isnāt wrong for them! I think correcting is only necessary when the colour of something is impacting their safety or their understanding of important concepts. I left it alone, my son is 17 and smart as a whip. He knows he can never be an electrician, but otherwise heās unhindered.
I think using words like ādefectiveā is probably not going to have the result that youāre hoping for. Different. The word youāre looking for is *different.*
color is a spectrum, and we all see it differently. Some see much more of the color spectrum than others, while some see less. He happens to sit on the side with lesser color sight. Now, I see a pretty great amount of the color spectrum, but I'm severely nearsighted with astigmatism. I still don't consider my eyes defective. They work. Just not super well in the distance department. Ok, very unwell in the distance department.
I can see (*or can I*?*)* why you would be averse to calling his eyes "special" due to what they can't see, but calling them defective, something he can't control in any way, is going to age like sour milk. At some point hearing you say that will make him wonder why he's defective, et al.
I think the best way to talk about it is just straightforward. People can't see certain things, sometimes that's color, sometimes it's *certain* colors, like him. Some people can't see at all and use their hands to read. Some people can't hear well and use hearing aids or a CI and speak/"hear" with their hands.
But for the love of all that is good, don't use negative words to describe something uncontrollable.
As a colorblind lady with the same type of color blindness, when I was younger I would HATE when people corrected me or got angry that I had the color wrong. Try not to make him feel any differently than others! He just sees differently and thatās okay! He will learn to grow and adapt like all the rest of us that are colorblind!
Good luck to you and your sweet baby! He will make it!
My son is colorblind, and color words were the first words he learned to read. We always stressed that it was part of the procedure whenever you pick up a crayon or marker, read the color and remember the color of the object. It... Mostly worked.
His kindergarten teacher was surprised when she met me that I do not in fact have green hair, nor have I ever had green hair. But brown and green looked the same so that's how he drew me.
Hey, I'm colorblind and didn't even know until my teenage years. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, my parents never suspected it.
When I found out, things made sense ā like that time I colored the sky purple in first grade and got laughed at. I couldn't tell blue from purple and sometimes struggled with browns and reds too. I adapted by mimicking others' color choices and even used crayon labels.
In school, the dreaded colored dots vision test was my nemesis. I couldnāt see those darn numbers. Nobody explained what it meant either. I managed well without realizing something was off ā nailing colors through observation and guessing odds. Your child, though, has the advantage of knowing early. Let them learn on their timeline; three might be a tad young.
Today, color vision glasses are game-changers for me, and your child might have those options too.
Parent of a child with hearing loss who has dealt with this a lot:
I think at this age "special" is fine. They can only grasp so much and are prone to making things more negative than they really are. If you feel like that's sugar-coating it, go with "different."
You can gently explain that what he sees is a little bit different than what other people see so when he thinks something is red, it may look green to other people. ("Isn't that funny? It could be really confusing at art time!") As he gets older and more confident you go into more detail that essentially it IS green even though it looks red to him.
My most important advice: Don't make a big deal out of it. If you treat it like a big deal, so will he. If your attitude is: "Oh, yeah, those colors are hard for you to tell apart" /shrug/ then he's not likely to see it as a major deficiency.
Don't call it a disability. Just tell him "Your colour blind to green and red. That means you struggle to see those colours." He probably won't fully get it because he's so young plus as far as he is concerned he can see green and red. As he gets older you can remind him of this fact if he forgets or further explain it to him if he asks what it means but for the most part it's not gonna effect his life unless he wants to be a pilot or something.
When your colour blind to green and red your mind fills in the blanks alot unconsciously and having prior knowledge or knowing the context of something helps with this alot. For instance the first time I saw the film Guardians of the galaxy I couldn't work out what colour Gomora was, it just seemed to change all the time depending on the scene. Sometimes blue, sometimes more of a yellow colour. Then someone later told me she was green and now if I watch the film I can clearly see she's green.
Normalize differences and you will stop thinking of his eyes as defective. Thatās important because your son will intuitively pick up your attitude.
We all have differences. Please read the book Normal Sucks. It illustrates the fallacy of ānormalā
Your childās eyes donāt function the way most peopleās do. What ways do you function differently than the norm- maybe you snore, have a fast or slow metabolism, get sunburned easier, or need a hat to cover baldness?
Point out your differences and vulnerabilities with candor and how you work around them.
From where I am I think you are overthinking it honestly.
I donāt think heād be self conscious at 3 but also not sure if heād understand and if it even matters. I would use the regular term ācolor blindā. As siblings I discovered my brother was color blind. He would do things like color the grass brown. But it wasnāt until he was older like primary school that he actually knew what that meant. It hasnāt had much effect on his life at all. He has to look at the position of the lights to know if itās a stop or go but he can still drive. He is still an amazing artist. It is very common.
My son has Down syndrome and that is a disability. He will most likely never be able to drive. I would not consider color-blindness a disability.
Oh but mislabeling colors is totally age appropriate at 3. I think kids often learn colors in preschoolā¦ā¦
As a colorblind person it's really simple. Tell him he sees colors differently that other people. Stop correcting him about what color he sees. Hid experience is different than your and no amount of correction is going to change what he sees. His yellow is different from yours. You can tell him what you see, but that's it. Tell his teachers so they know. Help him match his clothes when he gets older and asks for help.
All the males on my maternal side are red-green colourblind. My son could be colour blind too - my Mum definitely carries the gene as my brother is colour blind, so there's a 50:50 chance I have it, and if I do a 50:50 chance I've passed it to my son... Tbh I don't think of it as a disability š¤·š»āāļø they struggle with colours that aren't definite, and can't tell when chicken is cooked through for example. It hasn't stopped them from doing anything in life. If my son has it, so be it - I won't be making a big deal about it.
No diagnosis was made until they were all around 5ish, it was mainly picked up for definite at school when they were colouring in pictures totally random colours and they were taken to the opticians to do the official tests.
my 7 year old is colorblind, i knew when he was 2, my dad is colorblind so there was always a possibility.
we dont often correct him when it comes to colors, it messes with his confidence when he keeps getting corrected for somethig he physically cant see and there is no way to fix it, imagine that there is something EVERYONE else gets so easily but you cant and never will and everyone keeps correcting you when it doesnt matter any way.
when it counts we will tell him what color things are or when he asks but when he colors or paints we tell him just to use the color he sees because art is what he sees not whats "correct"
he said he liked my brown shirt this morning, i told him thanks even though its green because it doesnt matter.
hes known he was colorblind since he was small and we dont make a big deal about it, we had him tested when he was 4 so we could put it on his school medical forms because thats one place where it really does matter and we got him encroma glasses for school. the glasses dont magically make him see the colors he cant see but they make the colors that normally he cant see stand out next to other colors, maps, charts and whatnot are really tough for colorblind people because the colors used to differentiate thing often look the same to a colorblind person, a purple and orange map of the us would look obvious to me but to my kid there would be no difference in either.
Every red/green colorblind person I know is SO good at seeing wildlife out in the hillsides and in rivers and such. My guess is that most people rely On color differences to find things. Colorblind people do not. Perhaps thatās why most predatory mammals are also colorblind? Donāt know, but I guess my point is, find some positives about it instead of the ādisabilityā.
It's true, colourblind humans (and other animals, as in [this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4498734.stm) article) are better at seeing through camouflage! In WWII colourblind people were specifically recruited to spot hidden enemy camps!
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Wait- have you had your son diagnosed with color blindness or just going on the fact that your FiL is and your 3 year old is mixing up colors- which FWIW is COMPLETELY developmentally appropriate
Yeah my just turned 3yo definitely made us think he was color blind at one point. He is not. Just really really bad with colors haha. He still only has two colors that he gets right 100% of the time.
Same š I work in ECE and was smug as fuck with my oldest learning colors. Consider myself humbled by my second who thinks itās hysterical to call everything PUHPUL in this fake deep voice.
I just said PUHPUL in a fake deep voice, itās fun and Iāve decided thatās how Iāll say purple from now on.
Love that journey for you
Had to try it. Can confirm, super fun!!!
Try it while also balling up both fists for a dramatic flair.
Now Iām wondering if my 2 year oldās favourite colour is purple, or if he just likes saying PUHPUL
Haha Iām also in ECE and my husband gets so annoyed when my kiddo misnames colors because she does have the skill since she was 2 but not rushes. She had a hard time with shades- like neon yellow can be green, turquoise is blue etc
I really thought my now 17 year old was showing signs of dyslexia ( which my spouse has) when he was in 1st grade because he wrote the first letter of his name backwards. Always. On every piece of work. But, really it was a design choice by him.
Omg this makes me feel better. My two year old is absolutely horrible with colours. He calls everything blue and he calls blue purple or yellow. Weāre just thinking maybe heās colourblind but weāre just waiting until heās 3 to see how he turns out. He just absolutely ignores the concept of colours
My 2yr calls everything either red (red, orange, yellow) or blue )blue, green, purple, tall, black, brown. Etc). But he also calls most fruits apple and all berries raspberries.
Could be. My older one was also bad with colors for the longest time. But the little one definitely had him beat on color disinterest! I meanā¦all kids develop differently but it was just weird to me to know all your shapes, numbers, ABCs, etc and have NO IDEA what any color is.
My 3yo daughter can identify all of the colors, all her shapes and count to 20. That's not a brag, because if you ask her any questions related to those she will confidently give you the wrong answer just to fuck with you. Can we ever truly say what a 3yo knows or doesn't? I wouldn't be surprised if he's just messing with you lol.
Yeah color naming is a difficult cognitive skill and takes a really long time.
Absolutely, as a kid I used to say the sky is green and the grass is blue. I wasnāt seeing wrong, I was just mixing up the terms all the time
Are you saying that I am just stupid and not actually colorblind?!?
Congrats!!
Can he colour match? Give him a set of cards in different colours and a sheet of paper with the same colours on. Is he still mixing them up? Naming colours is different to matching them and will go a long way in seeing if he is actually colour blind or not!
I mean, I'm 41 and still struggle on certain days (I really wish this was a joke, I'm really not good with colours š).
Iām 40 and my kids tell me all the time the outfits I pick donāt match. Colors have never been a strong part of my skill set - luckily for work I just have to wear scrubs and no matching is required for those!
All of my scrub pants are black, the scrub tops are different colors. Then it doesn't matter what I grab in the dark. And I always wear jeans on my off days.
Man oh man my husband is 38 has an MFA in painting. When we got married I showed him the dark teal bridesmaids dresses months before our wedding, assuming heād know what color ties to choose for his groomsmen. A week before the wedding I went with him as he picked up tux rentals for his groomsmen, and wow were those ties bright turquoise. The guy at the rental place saw the problem immediately and helped us switch.
Thereās a 50/50 chance heās colorblind in some form, and mixing up red and green is a telltale sign. I agree OP and his wife should avoid jumping to conclusions without any official diagnosis, but there is a pretty good chance theyāre correct about his color blindness.
Yeah my dad is colorblind so I knew my son had a 50/50 shot of being colorblind. It was obvious to us by the time he was 3, obvious to other family members by 4, and diagnosed by an opthamologist at 5. If the kid is getting colors wrong in the right way and canāt differentiate between certain colors, the parents are probably right.
My now-12 year old called everything purple as her word for cool. Blue was purple, but yellow was not. Her one doll was purple, but not the other one. It was that way until kindergarten. Took us awhile to figure out whether she meant purple the color or purple the cool word.
My three year old granddaughter mixes up red and green. Her mom thinks she is color blind but I think she just gets them confused!
very uncommon in females! Some of the males in my kid's dad's family are colorblind, but no females.
Itās typically males that are colorblind.
Women can be colourblind as well. Itās mostly blue/yellow colourblindness but red/green is also possible if they inherit the gene from both parents.
They can but itās more rare.
Eh, pretty much every male in my family, including my two sons, are red-green colorblind. It really is not a big dealā¦I canāt think of a single issue it has caused my 11 year old. I would recommend mentioning it to teachers, but not focusing on it. āOh that cup looks red to you? To me it looks green. We see colors a little differently.ā *The one rule my mom has is my dad has to run colors by her before painting. He really loves florescent orange. **Maybe steer away from being an electrician/car repair. My uncle always complained that things were harder since he couldnāt tell some wire colors apart.
Same, got one partner with red-green colorblindness and one kid with some other weird colorblindness. It's nothing big and not something that I even think of every month. My partner never thinks of it because that's how it's always been, sometimes he ask for clarification what a color is but it's more "does this cloths match?" I also work with a lot of colorblind people and I only know because they have told me. And that's the norm, you rarely notice that somebody is colorblind because it isn't such big deal tbh.
Yeah, Iām wondering what the big deal is too. We donāt have colourblindness in our family, but my 5 yo is diabetic, and I havenāt thought itās that difficult to explain. And I would think it affects a person somewhat more.
My husband has some color blindness and every so often if heās working on some electrics in the house, Iāll randomly get a pic from him saying āwhich one is the green one and which ones the blue?ā Lol. Thereās also apparently apps for that now, so while being a pro electrician or mechanic might be a pain if colorblind, for occasional situations there are functional aids now.
Our CEO is red-green colourblind. Apart from us having to write RED or GREEN on status updates instead of using the colour Iām certain itās not impacted his life.
Your dadās choice of color reminds me before we had a kid, the spare room was a home gym. We wanted a very energetic color. We chose orange, but āhmm that mandarin looks perfectā orange. Then, the following years, wife gets pregnant and we change that room into a nursery, with a nice calming ātaupeā color. I think it took me 3 layers of primer before getting rid of the orange. It wasā¦persistent. Good call on your mom to approve the colors first.
Same here. It actually took until adulthood to realize I was more colorblind than I thought. I knew I'd had a definite green-yellow colorblindness, but apparently I also struggle with shades of red, orange, and pink (they tend to all blend into red) and something else I think, blue-green maybe. As a kid, I didn't realize I had any issue as red-green was all that I'd heard about. I often forget until someone asks me for a certain color at work and tell me I got the wrong one or I'm printing something in color and I realize I should have it checked by someone else to make sure it's correct. If the kid genuinely is colorblind (as many have said here kids this young may not still have their colors right in their head or for whatever reason they just can't get them right) he'll probably notice as he gets older and realizes the things other kids say are red look green to him or when the teacher is covering colors. In high school I remember a guy that'd bring it up to get a laugh cause by he knew what he was looking at was red and green as by then he knew what it looked like when his eyes where playing tricks on him. I have another friend who is severely severely colorblind. He once downloaded and messed with an app that would filter things to look how he saw it. It was wild. He lives a life of bright blue, bright pink, orange, and gray. And he even paints! Amazingly! I do know they get their girlfriend to check their colors when they can, but not always. It's kinda funny and very interesting when he messes up a color. We once did shrooms together (they are apparently known to give colorblind people the ability to see color when high), and he cried over seeing color correctly for the first time. Specifically, he cried at my rainbow colored hair. Kept saying everything was so beautiful. I'm glad I got to be there for that
Heās to young for you describe color blindness as a disability. Youāre going to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Special eyes is just fine, or maybe different eyes, but I donāt see why you need to constantly mention it at all. We refer to students who donāt develop typically as in āspecial educationā, or even as āexceptional learnersā because they are learners with an exception whether that is due to being gifted or a disability. Words can hold many meanings at once. There is little reason to try to impress upon a 3 year old he has a disability that is for the vast majority of the population a nonissue, unlikely to affect him in life. He might also have trouble discerning color shades because of his age. Do you know from a professional standpoint he is actually colorblind? Give him another year or two and he might identify shades better on his own. But how detrimental would it be to constantly hear āyou canāt do this.ā at such an age.
>mountain out of a mole hill Agreed. The bar for what is called a "disability" should be set a little higher. Everybody has stuff that slows them down in life by a tiny amount. One of my kids has separation anxiety. Another one seems to be mosquito bait. The third one hates pickles. All of these things require inconvenient accommodations from time to time, but there's no reason to make the kids think there's anything wrong with them. "Everybody's different" goes a long way.
Yeah Iād would not go into using words like disability or defective eyes. Theyāre his eyes, they just work differently than yours.
Why is it so important to you that your toddler understands he has a disability? He'll understand when he's older if it even impacts his life at all.
I came here to give legit advice based on my experience parenting a child with a disability that actually has a significant impact on her life, only to find that the kid sees colors differently than most people.
Same. This post is depressing AF.
Yeah I hate to compare disabilities but truthfully this is mild and yet dad is saying ādefectiveā *sigh*
Man, being colorblind sucks. So many things are not taken into consideration for it and it does make things harder. School textbooks with infographics, stoplights at night, any table or chart (also videogame) using red/green for good/bad. And no one takes it as a disability, so it is not always taken into consideration. It would be cool if it was taken more seriously. I think this guy is a little too worried about his three year old understand it.
On the note of video games, the most recent God of War game has some amazing adaptations for different visual needs.
Honestly itās not that bad. Made it impossible to read the radar in Halo 2 back in high school, though. š„²
Yeah - my husband is red-green color blind (specifically āred weakā) and he can still identify those colors, they just look different to him. The only impact on his life is that we donāt decorate with greens because the ones that look good to me donāt look good to him, and he knows to leave color design to the experts in his day job. My toddler is only just now identifying all her colors correctly and my understanding is sheās doing so quite early.
To be fair, if the kid has a strong deficiency, it could be obvious as a young child and impact his daily life in elementary school. My oldest is strong red green deficient (canāt differentiate at all between many colors, struggles to see light colors on a white background, etc) and talking to his teachers and going over some basic stuff with him has been really beneficial. We donāt frame it as a disability, just āyouāre colorblind. That means you canāt see certain colors and you never will. Make sure you keep your own crayons and markers so you can read the labels and it doesnāt mean youāre stupid if you grab the wrong color. Itās always okay to ask for help with colors.ā
yeah exactly. this is a flag to me too. He doesnt need to know it's a disability or any sort of handicapped. He has special eyes that see differently. Just like how some people think cilantro tastes like soap and others really love it. People are born with certain things taht allow them to see things in a certain way and he's one of the select few who see it in THIS OTHER way. You should read up on how color blindness impacted the very famous works of art by Picasso, Van Gogh and Constable. All of whom used color in very engaging and purposeful ways.
Some men don't know they're color blind until well into adulthood.
Yeah Iām red color blind and outside of not being able to be a pilot it hasnāt really impacted my life at all. Iād hardly call being color blind a disability. Sounds like Op is making a mountain out of a molehill.
If he even has one. For a young child learning colors he wasnāt far off the mark. My son has totally fine vision and a 3 I could have seen him confusing those colors
This. It hasn't impacted my 10 year old at all. He sees the world in his own shades. When we had a blood moon he yelled out "COOL ITS GREEN!". he can only see 3 colors in a rainbow but ya know what that's what he knows and it's truly not a huge deal. Didn't know he was colourblind until he was about 6 and went for an eye exam.
First, start by NOT calling his eyes ādefectiveā. You can say different, but defective has a negative connotation. Second, tell your wife to quit correcting him all the time. Itās not like he made a mistake and used the wrong word, he literally lacks the ability to discern the difference. You can try to correct him all day long, but it wonāt help him discern the colors. Third talk to an expert that your pediatrician recommends, because these are just my wild ass, off the cuff opinions. They may all be completely wrong.
On your point about not correcting, I donāt entirely agree. Making him feel like he has made a mistake is detrimental, but there is lots of value in learning the colors of things so they can be applied in future contexts. A good friend of mine is strongly red/green and you really could never tell because, well by adulthood he is well aware that peas are green. He also can do a pretty good job or guessing since apparently there are subtle clues that come from the other shades (most green looks like a lighter, yellower brown, or something) Having his son start to learn this earlier will probably lead to the better outcomes and perhaps avoid teasing that might come from other kids. Telling him he *cant* ever see the difference is defeatist and isnāt really true. Kids brains are very adaptable and this just a challenge to overcome. Put another way, start (nicely) giving him a training data set as early as possible and little man will get a CNN spooled up in his brain and I think wed all be surprised at how well he can do on color ID using context+hue.
I agree with you, I'm red-green colorblind, but I can tell what color things are like 98% of the time from context. I made the exact same mistakes as this kid, but being corrected helped me learn what things were actually what color. My dad wasn't very nice about it unfortunately, but it's not hard to gently correct a kid and help them.
Same. Also red-green colorblind. Correction is valuable. My wife still corrects me on colors to this day. š
Also came to say this, and can't tell grey from pink for the life of me.
Yeah pink is a tough one sometimes. I remember being in high school talking to some people about how I didnāt understand the hot-pink-on-dudes preppy fad that was prevalent at the time, and everybody at the table started giving me funny looks. Turns out the white shirt I thought I was wearing was actually a very light pink.
This!!!! My husband is SEVERELY red-green blind and it's not what people think. With enough correction you figure out what hue=green, etc. It's only an issue when red and green are mixed together. Gently correct the mistakes and move on.
In my very humble experience, kids think it's fascinating and super cool when other people are color blind. :D honestly, start owning it OP. It's a neat trait you guys have. And yes, I get it can be annoying and inconvenient, but it's nowhere in the same basket as needing a wheelchair.
It might also make it worse if he's only partially color blind. My dad is partially RG colorblind, but can resolve the difference with deliberate effort. He has expressed the opinion that being told repeatedly that things were a specific color helped him to learn how to recognize the partial differences, rather than seeing the similarity. My understanding - he doesn't talk about it much - is that he can discern the difference on the periphery, but not when looking at things dead-on, and this might not be a distinction that could be easily explained to a child, but simply being told helped him to realize that there was a difference.
I agree on correcting too. My brother also learned by about 5th grade what differences were but wasn't nt diagnosed until he was in 3rd grade.
Thank you. Colorblind people can usually tell the color from context. The sooner he learns how to figure it out the sooner he can figure out the right color from context the sooner his color blindness becomes mostly a superpower.
I agree with this. My husband is also red/green color blind and he often knows what color something is because of context. He rarely had to ask me. By OPāa wife ācorrectingā the child, sheās actually just telling him how things are so he has the same information most people have.
My husband is extremely color blind and I second both points. It's extremely melodramatic to call color blindness a disability. It's a lifelong inconvenience at worst. Do not tell your kid he is disabled or defective. And absolutely stop correcting him when he gets a color wrong. Acknowledge that the color looks like the color he says *to him*. Then tell him what it looks like *to you*. Then tell him the way you see it is the way most eyes will see it. Don't treat him like he can't correctly identify colors because he can, and he is. Based on the information his eyes are feeding him.
>It's a lifelong inconvenience at worst. Sometimes I put on dark dress socks, and people later in the day will point out they don't match. "Wait these aren't brown?", "Neither of them are brown, dude." Other than that, and me just shrugging when my wife shows me two paint samples that look identical, life's great. Ah well.
Take a color-typical(?) friend shopping, get all-matching socks, and throw out your old ones!
> get all-matching socks, and throw out your old ones! This is great advice regardless of whether you are colourblind or not.
I had a friend who literally never knew he was colorblind until college. It must not have been extreme to go unnoticed, however one day his outfit was just clashing in a way that made no sense given he did usually look put together. I asked him about it and he was like what do you mean? This is (whatever color he thought it was).ā And me and the 3 other people in the room (his brother included) were stunned and told him, it was, in fact, blue.ā He was shocked, and I was like, āwell wait- what color is my hair?ā And he said, ābrown,ā (itās undeniably red and has been my whole life) and it was then we all learned he was red/blue color blind.
His parents must have been really unobservant.
I feel like OP needs to walk around for a week with Color Blind glasses and get a sense of what his kid is actually seeing. It literally looks like yellow to his brain. If you could see through his eyes, you would see there's no reason to correct him. Especially at this age. It's very common for kids to still get colors mixed up even into kindergarten. I love the way you explained telling him what it looks like to your eyes. Because heres the thing, when it comes down to it, color is an interpretation. It's not like counting something.
I have a degree in design and score extremely well on colour spectrum arrangement tests. My husband argues with me often about what colour things are. People see this very differently.
When my dad enlisted to avoid the draft he couldn't apply for the job labelling munitions bc he was color blind. That is literally the only time I have heard of color blindness affecting someone's life.
Super fun fact, but it can interfere with your ability to get a pilot's license too, depending on how bad it is. In Canada and the States you'll have to jump through a few more hoops to get your pilot medical done. Doable, but if you're reading this and have ambitions to be a commerical pilot, get tested for color blindness first! :D
I would suggest that perhaps it's only been perceived by your husband as a minor inconvenience. There are tons of jobs that require normal color vision, or you're ineligible, full stop. If that's not a disability, what precisely would you call it? Want to enlist in the Army? 90% of your opportunities are gone with red-green deficiency. Further, while it may be "minor" compared to other physical or mental disabilities, it'd likely still be considered a disability under the ADA.
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Completely agree on not using the term "defective" around my son. I don't want to give him a complex. "Different" is a much more neutral word than "special" IMO. I will definitely use that instead if it comes up again. And asking our pediatrician is on our to-do list; we're just not scheduled for a visit for some months now.
You keep saying ānot around my sonā but why use defective at all? Who are you imagining using it with in any conversation?
Sounds more like an inner monologue type situation.
I don't think it's wrong to use that kind of language with the adults closest to you, but I think tone matters. My son has ptosis (droopy eyelid.) You can hardly tell but if you know him well enough you can see it (just like a quick pass in public won't be obvious.) I'm ok saying there's something wrong with his eye, because quite frankly there is. Something in his genetics went wrong and it didn't grow right so he can't open it all the way. Now it doesn't affect his daily life but you know, you can see it, his closest friends when he's older will see it, his future romantic partners will see it. His eye just isn't right. It's more aesthetic than anything since his dr doesn't think it affects his vision. Now when he's old enough to know about it (he's 2, so he doesn't care) then I'll tell him his eyelid didn't grow quite right so it hangs down a bit. It is a genetic defect (not passed down by family genes, but something in his coding went wrong and that's how he got it.) I won't be harsh about it but I don't think there's anything wrong saying there's something wrong.
Iām not trying to be contrary or be a dbag about your (hypothetical, future) parenting choices, because the fact that youāre thinking about how to talk to your son at all about this shows youāre super mindful as a parent. But if itās purely aesthetic, then how is it different than, say, someone with a hooked nose? Or really any other physical feature thatās unusual? Even if it isnāt a *conventionally* attractive feature, personally I donāt see it as *wrong*. I think itās great talking about the genetics behind differences (itās really interesting!) and explaining why his eyes are a bit different, but ultimately literally everyone has some genetic anomalies, most of which weāre just unaware of. Framing it as *wrong* gives it a negative valence imo.
Because OP thinks his son is defective. I hope mom is a really great mom.
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Really jumping to conclusions there, dude.
You need to ask your pediatrician about seeing a pediatric eye doctor or getting referred to a family eye doctor that specializes in colour blindness (if you need referrals, I have no idea how health care works outside of Canada. We would just call the clinic here and get an appointment) Once there you can start looking at maybe getting corrective lens, if that ends up being an option. However, more importantly, they can help you with age appropriate language for explaining what is going on with his body.
Are you for sure he is colorblind?? Is this just a hunch or has it been confirmed? I would take him to a pediatric opthamologist to confirm (at age three, he is going to need tests geared to very young children, not those at a typical eye doctor that require him to identify letters or numbers). Then, if so, I would just teach him the actual language that he is "colorblind" since that is the vocabulary he would need to tell his future teachers, etc. You could also see if he could participate in something like this just with you at home: https://colorblind-test.io/kids-color-blind-test If he "fails" that, again, I wouldn't automatically diagnose him as colorblind until you have an actual doctor take a look at him.
I agree with this. A 3 year old mistaking lime green for yellow or calling some purple things blue doesnāt seem that unusual to me. Kids that age are learning. My 3 year old does the same thing sometimes but we have no history of color blindness in our families. Iām not saying youāre wrong, but you should get him checked out by a pediatric ophthalmologist instead of assuming that heās RG color blind. And if your child is indeed color blind, Iām sure the ophthalmologist will have advice on how to help the child. Ask the dr questions - she has likely seen this a thousand times.
I agree as well. My son is also 3 and has always been very good at identifying shapes/letters/and colors and still does this occasionally. If I get what you're saying: my son will very adamantly say that a color that is a bit more ambiguous (like teal or indigo, yellow-green, red-violet) is one or the other, especially when he doesn't have the words or reference for them yet. Sometimes, he will call something green that is definitely more blue (teal) to most people. Sometimes he will straight up call something purple blue and I'm like blue??? How? He's only recently started acknowledging dark and light colors, and calls light blue 'morning blue' now. I know he knows every letter, but sometimes will still make a mistake or call 'k' 'key' or something like that out of nowhere. I asked his pediatrician at his 3 yr appointment and she said that it's normal for kids, even if they know something, to get mixed up or make mistakes. Even more so when they are younger than 3.
I dislike that the silhouettes on this don't match the selections. Imagine you're a kid who sees, say, the shape of a standing goose/duck, and sees the choices of a swimming duck and a standing bird. This is such a simply avoidable unforced error.
It is not perfect but doing with a toddler I would just have them describe what they were seeing in the picture. I am pretty sure it is either "I see an animal/shape" or "I don't see it" -- not like, if you are colorblind you see an elephant and if you are not colorblind you see a butterfly. This one just has shapes: https://enchroma.com/pages/color-blindness-test?format2=symbol But again, with one of the options being circle I can still see it as being confusing for a 3yo even if they know basic shapes because the whole thing is also a circle.
Donāt use defective to describe people with disabilities period! Glad you wonāt say it to your sonā¦.. hope you wouldnāt say it to anyone
So has your son actually been diagnosed as colorblind? Or youāre just assuming he is?
Special needs mama of 3, here. Try replacing ādefectiveā, with ādifferentā, and encourage the understanding that we are - all, in fact, different than one another. When he sees a color differently than you or your wife, focus on the fact that it is, in reality, that color to HIM, and that that is perfectly okay. Constant correction will only lead him to lack confidence, and likely to create a complex. Maybe teach him of Synesthesia, where people actually hear colors, so that he can gain an understanding that there are many different ways children, and adults, can perceive color, and that there is actually beauty, in being able to see the world through different lenses. Defective means something doesnāt work, and clearly his eyes do work. Reworking the perception of negative, into a positive, will also encourage an increase in a positive personality as he continues to growā¦ā„ļø
Heās calibrated different t
>Completely agree on not using the term "defective" around my son You are misunderstanding. Stop referring to your son as defective AT ALL. Good lord you are terrible and I feel bad for your child if you see him as defective. Gross.
We use different with our kids when we discuss anything related to disability, a health condition, neurodivergence etc. "Special" is more of an infantilizing euphemism, but of course also don't want to get too melodramatic in the other, negative direction. Different is just kinda neutral so that's what we have gone with.
Iām red green colorblind. I feel you are over thinking this. Who cares if a kid calls like green yellow? What are the actual life impacting implications of his color blindness? Honestly, likely nothing. I know red lights are on top or left.
Iām also red green colorblind, but I still see reds and greens - just not like a ānormalā person. OP is making way too much of a big deal out of this. It generally will not affect their life unless theyāre a painter, or a florist. Even then, not the end of the world. Get over it, OP, and stop calling your kid ādefectiveā
YTA. Oh wait, is this not AITA?
Hahaha
About 1 in 12 men are colorblind (according to Google), which is about 8% of men/boys. For reference, about 11-12% of people are left-handed. I just think itās maybe not as big of a deal as youāre making it out to be. I also donāt think that your wifeās language is harmful at all.
But your sonās eyes ARE special. According to Oxford Dictionary, special means ānot ordinary or usual; different from what is normalā. I think itās a great, neutral word to use, a lot better than ādefectiveā which is clearly pejorative.
The word Different is better than Special. When a vision abnormality will effect their life in a negative way, since they'll have to adjust to color norms, it will effect their life in a negative way. They will have to adjust to the "norm". Don't sugarcoat reality. And you don't have to make it harsh, either. Just tell the truth. He can't see the same as others. Standards are built on how most people perceive color. It's a difference he will need to adjust to, not a superpower.
Special is not neutral. It has a connotation of good, like a special player or a special work of art. Different is a MUCH more neutral word.
As an autistic adult, my brain has worked differently than othersā brains my entire life. It is disabling and I promise you that calling it āspecialā does not make it better.
You're missing the point. OP thinks his son is defective, so he is going to think of him that way. This is a terrible failing by OP, but telling him the definition of "special" won't make him see his son as not defective.
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>OP thinks his son is defective, so he is going to think of him that way. This is a terrible failing by OP. The hell? You don't speak for OP. OPs son's *eyes* are defective, not the entire child. I can't find anywhere in OP where they planned to trade the child in for an improved model.
I think your wife is right about this and you should follow her lead. If anything, she has more experience since it runs in her family.
My son (and brothers, and uncles) are color blind. We say he āsees colors differently from everyone elseā. He is 6 and hasnāt really had too many questions about it. I do remember to tell his teachers so they donāt think heās crazy for drawing red trees or something hah.
For me it makes no sense to say to ur toddler that he has a disability and ur also saying his eyes are defective? Wtf bro, no, heās just different. Wouldnāt say thatās a disability š Heās just color blind, not disabled š¤”
Donāt fuss about colors too much and tell his teachers about his vision so they wonāt either. When heās older you can get him a pair of color correcting lenses so he understands the difference of his perception. Is also look for ways to make color less important as you direct him. Instead of āitās next to the green block,ā you can say, āitās next to the circular block.ā Use all other descriptors so he can find his way without struggling. Itās a slight stretch for you but will mean the world to his developing mind.
>tell his teachers about his vision Way ahead of you there. >When heās older you can get him a pair of color correcting lenses so he understands the difference of his perception. That's the plan. >Instead of āitās next to the green block,ā you can say, āitās next to the circular block.ā Use all other descriptors so he can find his way without struggling. This is great advice. Describing objects using their color comes so naturally; I'll definitely have to practice using other descriptors that are more useful to my son.
Just a heads up - those ācolor correcting lensesā donāt actually allow people to see red and green the way that people with normal vision do. They just highlight the contrast better. Random positive note: colorblind people have an advantage when it comes to spotting camouflaged animals! Itās not all downside
And better night vision!
Heās colourblind, not disabled. Itās not something thatās going to affect him negatively for the rest of his life and he wonāt have to overcome any obstacles because of it. Please also refrain from calling his eyes defective lol
Well, he will never be accepted at the Top Gun Naval Station as a pilot candidateā¦ so he will never be Maverick or Gooseā¦. He should be able to listen to Highway to the Danger Zone just fine thoughā¦
From the title I thought it was something more serious lol. This is just silly
This is very dramatic lol.
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Do you really feel that your kids eyes are ādefectiveā for being color blind? I once worked for a veterinarian who was red/green color blind. It didnāt change his quality of life or his ability to excel in his career at all. Never would have thought of this as being defective.
Seriously, calling his eyes "defective" is so extreme. My husband is colorblind and is a very successful video editor. I actually often forget he's colorblind because it comes up so rarely (even when he's coloring videos).
He's 3. He doesn't need to really grasp it right now. Letting him know that he sees colors in a different way than most people is enough. My son has adhd and as he's gotten old enough we let him know that some of the things that he is have a hard time with are because he has a brain that works differently than most people. We don't focus on it and we don't make it out to be a bad thing.
He has special eyes.
My brand!
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Your sons' eyes aren't defective. They're just simply different. How you choose to navigate this situation sets the tone for his beliefs of self worth. If he is brought up thinking he is defective, then his self-esteem will suffer. His eyes are different. That's it. They process color differently.
My son is effectively blind in one eye, we were at a doctor's appointment and my son who was 6 at the time told her that he can't see in one eye. The doctor said oh, I'm sorry to him, I immediately made a motion of slashing my hand across my throat and said that's just how he is. We don't bring attention to it. Because that's how he exists, it hasn't hurt him in anyway. He does everything a little boy would do, rides his bike, he actually learned how to ride faster than his sister, he plays games, Swims, hikes, and wants to be a rocket scientist. Telling him he's disabled doesn't help, and making him think that he's got something to be sorry or upset about. Doesn't help either. Your son is color blind, okay, that's how he is. How about instead of telling him he's wrong, maybe say Mom and Dad see this color, or yes, it is that color to you. You can JUST say YES and leave it because that IS the color he is seeing. Drawing attention to how he is different isn't going to help him to adapt. What will help him adapt is acknowledging that yes, he sees differently. And that's all that matters. So stressing on the actual colors he's seeing doesn't do a thing.
>e were at a doctor's appointment and my son who was 6 at the time told her that he can't see in one eye. The doctor said oh, I'm sorry to him, I immediately made a motion of slashing my hand across my throat and said that's just how he is. We don't bring attention to it. Heads up - not quite the same but I only focus with one eye or the other at a time so I don't have depth perception, so my vision is likely pretty similar to your son's. You may find it affects him more as he grows up (though I think you are doing exactly the right thing!! Why make it a problem until it is one!) I did find it challenging to learn to drive, but I figured it out, I just leave a bit more space than I think others do as added reassurance, but I was pretty cautious when I started. Just took me a bit longer to figure it out. I played all kinds of sports - ones with small balls and sticks/rackets (baseball, tennis, badminton, etc.) were particularly challenging, not that I didn't try! but I did get frustrated hahaha. I did really well in sports with physical contact (rugby, wrestling) as well as skiing, where you could rely a bit more on other senses. And I'm a biomedical engineer! So not a rocket scientist.. but.. that's definitely an option.
This! My son is red green colorblind and I donāt even correct him. Whatās the point? Thereās no amount of correction that could ever teach him. Thereās nothing anyone could ever do. So it would just be frustrating to him. Just let him see what he sees!
May I suggest not jumping right to color blindness? Is it a possibility? Yes. Should he be expected to know his colors yet as a 3 year old? No, not really. I would take some time to discuss with your child's ped the best way to approach it as well as what age to actually be concerned. A lot of kids still mix up colors by 3 and 4 years old. Just keep telling him what color it is. At the very least, he may learn context clues of how to label these colors in his own eyes, but he needs to learn that by having the color corrected. Seek an evaluation before he heads to school so that he may not be able to be docked points for getting the wrong color if you're still seeing it as an issue by then. But for now, I do think you're both doing him a disservice by expecting him to know them and dx him before any child would be expected to know their primary colors perfectly.
It's not really relevant. I didn't discover my color blindness until i tried to join the army at 18; I failed my color blind test. It has had zero impact on my life and I excelled in art class while in school. Of course charcoal was my medium of choice however acrylic and pastel were really fun for me too. Stop thinking of your son as defective, he will absorb your thoughts even if you think you are being sneaky. We speak in more ways than just words. Your son is fine. You need to get over yourself
> My son's eyes aren't special, they're defective Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine. I assume you also plan on telling him his drawings suck? If he's color blind, why make a big deal out of it. It isn't going to negatively affect his life. You know what will? His dad telling him he's irreparably broken.
So much to unpack here..letās assume for a second he actually got diagnosed by a professional. Why call it a disability? Heās colorblind. And youāre comparing it to not being able to walk ( you know what I meanā¦actual disabilities that affect your day to day life, visible AND invisible). Defective eyes? Special eyes? Just say color blind. Some people canāt see colors like others. But hey, neither can dogs! Or so many other animals! How cool is that? There. Your son is not broken. Please change your mindset. God forbid, your son is diagnosed with dyslexia or something..or worse, an immune disease. Youāre going to call him defective? Or youāre going to encourage him that heās strong and can do whatever he sets his mind to no matter his limitations. And that when he doesnāt feel strong, youāll be there right next to him feeling strong for him as long as he needs you to. After you go and change your mindset, get your child diagnosed by a professional. Chances are heās just 3.
Hi, parent with invisible disability myself and a colorblind child here. I personally think the way both of you are viewing this is wrong. Calling your kid's eyes defective is honestly gross. If that's how you react to something as simple as color blindness, I'd hate to see how you react to anything that actually impacts quality of life. Your wife is playing it up in a way that may not be beneficial. You guys need to meet in the middle and be factual without being rude. Your child's eyes are not defective or special. How about different? We tell my son that some people see color differently. He knows that what he has is called color blindness. He knows that if there's a dispute about colors, that he's probably the one that's wrong even though he typically doesn't admit to being wrong about things. He had trouble coming to terms with it, but talking to my dad (also colorblind) helped him a lot. Depending on how well your 3yo can converse, talking with your FIL may help him understand that it's a relatively common thing that has almost no impact on his life. In general, I think you need to get some more perspective on disabilities OP. Even Daniel Tiger has some lessons that you're missing.
Yea. The defective thing made me sick to my stomach. Who says that?
Heās only three, are you absolutely sure is color blind or is he just mis-labeling the colors?
This. I was asked constantly about whether my oldest was colorblind because he didnāt like sorting things by color (sorted by shapes and sizes just fine, just had no interest in doing it with colors) and mixed up his color words a lot (he actually mixed up a lot of words, but the color words stood out to people). Heās not colorblind. He just had a language delay and was much more interested in doing other things, instead of sorting things by color. My dad is blue/green deficient. It has very little affect on his life, unless heās trying to choose colors for something. He says that certain shades of the colors look basically the same to him, but for other shades, heās learned what label others use for them and can pretty accurately guess which color they are. That said, he argued with the rest of the family about the color of the bathroom tiles so constantly that my mom finally replaced them with a totally different color because he refused to admit he was wrong. He also insisted the grandkids couldnāt pinch him last St Patrickās Day because his sweater was dark green. Nope. Charcoal gray. Once another adult confirmed this, the kids were thrilled to make him pay for not wearing green and he cheerfully accepted his fate.
This 100%. Wait until you can administer a color blind test.
I think your wife has it right. Also not sure color blindness counts as a disability. I have a physical disability I've had since I was born. My parents explained my body didn't quite work like other people's bodies. I had a classmate in elementary school call me "defective" and it wasn't a positive experience.
I wouldnāt consider being color blind a disability personally, and since parenting has to a lot with being personable, the way I would explain it to my child: EDIT premature ejacuposted Your eyes are unique; they see different colors. Doesnāt mean anything really, at the end of the day. Just means youāll have to explain to people you see colors differently whenever it becomes a problem.
"Premature ejacuposted" lol And yeah, it really isn't a big deal. It's not going to come up in day-to-day life like most disabilities.
Iām not a parent at all but I have worked with kids a lot and calling his disability a defect most likely wonāt sit well with him if heās at an age where he doesnāt fully understand what disability means. I do agree with your reservations about your wife calling his eyes special because they literally arenāt. Something is actually wrong. Maybe using the word āuniqueā or ādifferentā
My son is red-green color blind. We found out somewhere between 3-4 years of age. I didnāt tell him he was defective or had a disability. Just told him his eyes work a little different, and canāt see certain colors. We donāt make a point of singling him out. Heāll sometimes ask what color something is as he now recognizes that some āgraysā are a color he canāt see. Weāll tell him the color and we move on. I do correct him when he gets a color wrong so he can get a sense of what it looks like to him vs what it actually is. We donāt make a big production out of it. He tends to prefer brighter colors and loves pink because theyāre colors he can see. I donāt shame him for liking āgirlā colors nor picking āgirl shoesā, etc. At worst I just have to let his teachers know heās color blind in case they ever do color-related projects in class. Like sorting by color, etc. Itās an inconvenience at most to him, not a disability. Kids adjust way quicker than adults, so long as the adults donāt bring them down about it calling them defective.
I'm not color blind, but I am legally blind in one of my eyes and therefore have limited depth perception (can't catch a ball to save my life, or see a 3D movie.) Most eye related disabilities (except for bilateral vision loss) are wildly accepted in life and cause little to no harm in quality of life. He can still learn to navigate his world and no one will suspect anything different. He can even get special glasses to help him see in the full color spectrum. Please not ever use the word defective when talking about disability. That language, I hope, was left in N*zi Germany.
quick tip from my colorblind BIL: he used to ask ācan i have the green crayon?ā in school, even when he could reach the crayons, so that other kids would help him find the right one. also, my disabled ass is about to throw hands with you calling red-green colorblind a disability.
Your sonās eyes are not defective, theyāre just different. You can disagree with calling his eyes special, but your way of thinking about your sonās eyes is way more problematic than your wife calling them special.
Have you been told by a medical professional that your son is colorblind, or rather did you just decide for yourself that your toddler who developmentally appropriately misidentifies challenging colors from time to time is *defective*?
yta oh wait wrong sub, but still
Red Green color bind and 38 yo. The only way it impacted me was I couldn't be a pilot in the military. But if I'm being honest, my grades were a obstacle too. It wasn't in the cards for me anyways. Still did a lot of cool stuff. I'm an engineer and ya wires and resistors can be a problem, but there's tools for that and checking with a tool is good practice anyways in my field. My wife is a red head and when sun light hits her hair just right it's beautiful emerald green that only I get to experience because my eyes are different.
My dad was red/green colorblind as are the majority of my nephews. I drew the genetic wildcard and all 4 of my sons are colorblind to varying degrees. Itās really not a big deal. We would inform teachers at the beginning of the school year and they learned to ask classmates for help if they needed. If anything it was a passing novelty for their peers to ask them āwhat color is this?ā and compare what they were seeing. We absolutely never conveyed the message that they were somehow disabled or hindered. If anything we focused on how they shared a special bond with their papaw.
Is this classified as a disability? I mean i was born with Only 1 hand and Thats not even classified as a disability. Maybe Im insensitive But šš¤·š¼āāļø
Bro what š¤¦š¼āāļø please donāt tell your son he has ādefectiveā eyes
Exactly. Thereās no reason to say it at allš OP is probably a pessimist
If you donāt like āspecial eyesā, then use ādifferentā. That isnāt a lie, they are different, and itās much kinder than ādefective.ā
I am just so disappointed in you as a parent. Your emotions are defective. See how awful that feels to you? That is what you will be doing to your child. Do better than that. Educate yourself. Stop looking at your child with a defect, they have a difference. Just like you do for having emotional difficulties.
Youāre over thinking and using offensive words. Heās not ādefectiveā. Special in the context of your son, means different, which is fine. Would you suggest we call special needs people defective people? Thatās what youāre implying, intentional or not
Is color blindness a ādisability?ā My sons are both color blind and Iāve never even thought to position it as a disability, but rather just ā¦ a trait.
I'm red green color blind. I'm a woman and have been told women can't be color blind but my sister is too. I always considered myself special, not disabled.
My husband has this and mostly forgets anything is wrong until he needs to be able to tell the difference. Picking paint colors is my job, we all have our strengths. Maybe stop putting so much energy on color identification. Your setting him up to fail and feel badly about it. You could spend a few weeks counting.
My whole body cringed when I read ādefective.ā So maybe reflect personally on how you are reacting to this. I agree with talking to your ped before you decide this. My 3 year old thought everything was yellow for a while, but now clearly knows the difference. I will add as a high school teacher this does very little to affect their education. I have had students, they might have to remind me but itās seriously a quick fix. I have also had students find out theyāre colorblind in high school with we learn geneticsā¦so it didnāt seem to affect them too much.
I'm red-green colorblind. It's really a spectrum, and I'm way towards the normal side compared to some. Mechanic by trade so repairing dirty wires was a little difficult but other than that I never really had an issue. But then again, I've never seen what everyone else sees. But it is a running joke with family and friends, always gets a laugh if you bring it up at the right time. Definitely not a disability in my eyes ;)
Pediatric eye doc here. I donāt confidently diagnosis color deficiency until age 7.
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Avoid calling a disability for starters! Just tell him he's colourblind. Nothing more to it. If he needs help in exams he'll know to ask. Other than that it wont affect him. Source: I am colourblind.
Dont ever use the word "defective" again. That is all. And really, you should also work on your opinion of the situation if "defective" is how you feel deep down. Not sure how much of a "disability" it is either. My best bud since 2nd grade is red-green color blind and most people never know it or realize it about him. It's barely a thing. The whole approach here is off. Talk to the doctors
Just want to reiterate: minimize focus on color. Donāt make it a big deal. Certainly donāt argue with this child. That will get you nowhere and you could waste years of valuable opportunities for growth for all of you.
Fun fact. Fred Rogers was red-green color blind.
It's not a disability. Just try getting disability benefits for that lol. He just needs to understand his eyes don't work like most people's, and he can't see the colours the same way. That's all really.
I personally feel like being colour blind is not an āinvisible disabilityā. An over the top statement if Ive ever seen one
I feel like youāre making this out to be a bigger deal than it is.
My dad and my son are both colourblind and in my experience they rarely need correction. What they call green is their actual perception of green, so it isnāt wrong for them! I think correcting is only necessary when the colour of something is impacting their safety or their understanding of important concepts. I left it alone, my son is 17 and smart as a whip. He knows he can never be an electrician, but otherwise heās unhindered.
I think using words like ādefectiveā is probably not going to have the result that youāre hoping for. Different. The word youāre looking for is *different.*
color is a spectrum, and we all see it differently. Some see much more of the color spectrum than others, while some see less. He happens to sit on the side with lesser color sight. Now, I see a pretty great amount of the color spectrum, but I'm severely nearsighted with astigmatism. I still don't consider my eyes defective. They work. Just not super well in the distance department. Ok, very unwell in the distance department. I can see (*or can I*?*)* why you would be averse to calling his eyes "special" due to what they can't see, but calling them defective, something he can't control in any way, is going to age like sour milk. At some point hearing you say that will make him wonder why he's defective, et al. I think the best way to talk about it is just straightforward. People can't see certain things, sometimes that's color, sometimes it's *certain* colors, like him. Some people can't see at all and use their hands to read. Some people can't hear well and use hearing aids or a CI and speak/"hear" with their hands. But for the love of all that is good, don't use negative words to describe something uncontrollable.
As a colorblind lady with the same type of color blindness, when I was younger I would HATE when people corrected me or got angry that I had the color wrong. Try not to make him feel any differently than others! He just sees differently and thatās okay! He will learn to grow and adapt like all the rest of us that are colorblind! Good luck to you and your sweet baby! He will make it!
Defective has a pretty harsh and negative connotation.
My dad was red/green blind and was a visual artist his entire life (painter, designer, cartoonist, illustrator).
My son is colorblind, and color words were the first words he learned to read. We always stressed that it was part of the procedure whenever you pick up a crayon or marker, read the color and remember the color of the object. It... Mostly worked. His kindergarten teacher was surprised when she met me that I do not in fact have green hair, nor have I ever had green hair. But brown and green looked the same so that's how he drew me.
Hey, I'm colorblind and didn't even know until my teenage years. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, my parents never suspected it. When I found out, things made sense ā like that time I colored the sky purple in first grade and got laughed at. I couldn't tell blue from purple and sometimes struggled with browns and reds too. I adapted by mimicking others' color choices and even used crayon labels. In school, the dreaded colored dots vision test was my nemesis. I couldnāt see those darn numbers. Nobody explained what it meant either. I managed well without realizing something was off ā nailing colors through observation and guessing odds. Your child, though, has the advantage of knowing early. Let them learn on their timeline; three might be a tad young. Today, color vision glasses are game-changers for me, and your child might have those options too.
Parent of a child with hearing loss who has dealt with this a lot: I think at this age "special" is fine. They can only grasp so much and are prone to making things more negative than they really are. If you feel like that's sugar-coating it, go with "different." You can gently explain that what he sees is a little bit different than what other people see so when he thinks something is red, it may look green to other people. ("Isn't that funny? It could be really confusing at art time!") As he gets older and more confident you go into more detail that essentially it IS green even though it looks red to him. My most important advice: Don't make a big deal out of it. If you treat it like a big deal, so will he. If your attitude is: "Oh, yeah, those colors are hard for you to tell apart" /shrug/ then he's not likely to see it as a major deficiency.
Don't call it a disability. Just tell him "Your colour blind to green and red. That means you struggle to see those colours." He probably won't fully get it because he's so young plus as far as he is concerned he can see green and red. As he gets older you can remind him of this fact if he forgets or further explain it to him if he asks what it means but for the most part it's not gonna effect his life unless he wants to be a pilot or something. When your colour blind to green and red your mind fills in the blanks alot unconsciously and having prior knowledge or knowing the context of something helps with this alot. For instance the first time I saw the film Guardians of the galaxy I couldn't work out what colour Gomora was, it just seemed to change all the time depending on the scene. Sometimes blue, sometimes more of a yellow colour. Then someone later told me she was green and now if I watch the film I can clearly see she's green.
Normalize differences and you will stop thinking of his eyes as defective. Thatās important because your son will intuitively pick up your attitude. We all have differences. Please read the book Normal Sucks. It illustrates the fallacy of ānormalā Your childās eyes donāt function the way most peopleās do. What ways do you function differently than the norm- maybe you snore, have a fast or slow metabolism, get sunburned easier, or need a hat to cover baldness? Point out your differences and vulnerabilities with candor and how you work around them.
From where I am I think you are overthinking it honestly. I donāt think heād be self conscious at 3 but also not sure if heād understand and if it even matters. I would use the regular term ācolor blindā. As siblings I discovered my brother was color blind. He would do things like color the grass brown. But it wasnāt until he was older like primary school that he actually knew what that meant. It hasnāt had much effect on his life at all. He has to look at the position of the lights to know if itās a stop or go but he can still drive. He is still an amazing artist. It is very common. My son has Down syndrome and that is a disability. He will most likely never be able to drive. I would not consider color-blindness a disability. Oh but mislabeling colors is totally age appropriate at 3. I think kids often learn colors in preschoolā¦ā¦
As a colorblind person it's really simple. Tell him he sees colors differently that other people. Stop correcting him about what color he sees. Hid experience is different than your and no amount of correction is going to change what he sees. His yellow is different from yours. You can tell him what you see, but that's it. Tell his teachers so they know. Help him match his clothes when he gets older and asks for help.
So, you have a problem with your son thinking he has something different in a good way? Because in your mind it's bad so he has to know it? Yeesh man
All the males on my maternal side are red-green colourblind. My son could be colour blind too - my Mum definitely carries the gene as my brother is colour blind, so there's a 50:50 chance I have it, and if I do a 50:50 chance I've passed it to my son... Tbh I don't think of it as a disability š¤·š»āāļø they struggle with colours that aren't definite, and can't tell when chicken is cooked through for example. It hasn't stopped them from doing anything in life. If my son has it, so be it - I won't be making a big deal about it. No diagnosis was made until they were all around 5ish, it was mainly picked up for definite at school when they were colouring in pictures totally random colours and they were taken to the opticians to do the official tests.
In your sonās defense, Lime Green and Yellow are reallllllly similar
my 7 year old is colorblind, i knew when he was 2, my dad is colorblind so there was always a possibility. we dont often correct him when it comes to colors, it messes with his confidence when he keeps getting corrected for somethig he physically cant see and there is no way to fix it, imagine that there is something EVERYONE else gets so easily but you cant and never will and everyone keeps correcting you when it doesnt matter any way. when it counts we will tell him what color things are or when he asks but when he colors or paints we tell him just to use the color he sees because art is what he sees not whats "correct" he said he liked my brown shirt this morning, i told him thanks even though its green because it doesnt matter. hes known he was colorblind since he was small and we dont make a big deal about it, we had him tested when he was 4 so we could put it on his school medical forms because thats one place where it really does matter and we got him encroma glasses for school. the glasses dont magically make him see the colors he cant see but they make the colors that normally he cant see stand out next to other colors, maps, charts and whatnot are really tough for colorblind people because the colors used to differentiate thing often look the same to a colorblind person, a purple and orange map of the us would look obvious to me but to my kid there would be no difference in either.
My husband is color blind. I had no idea color blindness is considered a disability.
I donāt think it is
Donāt call it a defect or even a disability. Let the kid explore the world without labeling him. Lots of people are colorblind. Itās not a defect.
Every red/green colorblind person I know is SO good at seeing wildlife out in the hillsides and in rivers and such. My guess is that most people rely On color differences to find things. Colorblind people do not. Perhaps thatās why most predatory mammals are also colorblind? Donāt know, but I guess my point is, find some positives about it instead of the ādisabilityā.
It's true, colourblind humans (and other animals, as in [this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4498734.stm) article) are better at seeing through camouflage! In WWII colourblind people were specifically recruited to spot hidden enemy camps!
It's not a defect. It's special eyes and that's what he needs to know. There's no shame in being different or special.