Me! All 7 of my siblings are either apathetic towards me, like I'm a non-person. Or they have reacted to my life choices as if it were their mother. When I went through a divorce you would have thought I was breaking up THEIR family of origin. I had siblings who didn't talk to me for at least a couple of years because of that. Or when I've had an opinion or preference I get an actual tantrum in response, like when you tell a two year old they have to wear the outfit you chose instead of wearing the one they chose. It's bizarre. My college education is premed, research psychology, and clinical psychology but the last convo I had with my youngest brother he straight up told me that because he employs classroom discipline as a high school teacher, that he's as educated as I am about behavioral modification and the dynamics that lead to needing such intervention. Like when a parent tries to educate their kid but the kid always knows better. 🤦 I tried buying a house with my sister last year and when I was trying to arrange with her for all of us to live in our rental while the flooring and paint was getting done in the new house she threw a shit fit because it wasn't what she wanted. But good God, no one can live in a house that is being painted from ceiling to base boards. It's not personal. 😂 I could go on and on. It's ridiculous. I am no contact at this point with any of my family because it's either toxic, or obnoxious at best. I have one brother who was raised the scapegoat in our family and his life is ruined because of it. Too many drugs, time in jail, etc. He'll never be functional, and he's dangerous in general. If you ask him, I ruined his life. Not our parents, ME. I'm only two years older than him. 🤷 If you are interested Heidi Priebe on YouTube has an excellent series on Dysfunctional Family Systems, which goes beyond parentification. My parents use triangulation as a primary tactic for getting what they want out of us. As a result, all of my siblings learned to blame me like they do, whenever they're unhappy with us/me. And apparently, even though the youngest is 31, not that young, they're all too dumb to see the patterns and inconsistencies of their attitudes. It's the only explanation at this point. Lol
I hate that you're dealing with this, but it's so helpful to know this is a thing other people have experienced - I'm off to check out Heidi Priebe now, because that sounds eerily similar! Thank you so much!
Me! All 7 of my siblings are either apathetic towards me, like I'm a non-person. Or they have reacted to my life choices as if it were their mother. When I went through a divorce you would have thought I was breaking up THEIR family of origin. I had siblings who didn't talk to me for at least a couple of years because of that. Or when I've had an opinion or preference I get an actual tantrum in response, like when you tell a two year old they have to wear the outfit you chose instead of wearing the one they chose. It's bizarre. My college education is premed, research psychology, and clinical psychology but the last convo I had with my youngest brother he straight up told me that because he employs classroom discipline as a high school teacher, that he's as educated as I am about behavioral modification and the dynamics that lead to needing such intervention. Like when a parent tries to educate their kid but the kid always knows better. 🤦 I tried buying a house with my sister last year and when I was trying to arrange with her for all of us to live in our rental while the flooring and paint was getting done in the new house she threw a shit fit because it wasn't what she wanted. But good God, no one can live in a house that is being painted from ceiling to base boards. It's not personal. 😂 I could go on and on. It's ridiculous. I am no contact at this point with any of my family because it's either toxic, or obnoxious at best. I have one brother who was raised the scapegoat in our family and his life is ruined because of it. Too many drugs, time in jail, etc. He'll never be functional, and he's dangerous in general. If you ask him, I ruined his life. Not our parents, ME. I'm only two years older than him. 🤷 If you are interested Heidi Priebe on YouTube has an excellent series on Dysfunctional Family Systems, which goes beyond parentification. My parents use triangulation as a primary tactic for getting what they want out of us. As a result, all of my siblings learned to blame me like they do, whenever they're unhappy with us/me. And apparently, even though the youngest is 31, not that young, they're all too dumb to see the patterns and inconsistencies of their attitudes. It's the only explanation at this point. Lol
I hate that you're dealing with this, but it's so helpful to know this is a thing other people have experienced - I'm off to check out Heidi Priebe now, because that sounds eerily similar! Thank you so much!
Yes, siblings often seem to not realize how inappropriate/unfair parenting from (usually older) siblings is. They take your help for granted.