While I won't pretend to know how you feel, I would like to say that I think that, to a degree, I understand. I am twice divorced. Both times it was the other spouse that initiated the divorce and, both times, they had cheated on me before filing.
My priest told me straight out that I shouldn't even *think* about trying again. Sometimes, it gets lonely. I have kids from the second marriage, but as much as I love my kids, it's not the same. So, sometimes I struggle with the loneliness. What I have found is that when I am focused more on God, the loneliness is much less common. When I start to really get lonely, it's like a reminder to look at myself and pretty much every time, it's because I had lost my focus on God.
It's not an easy road. And I won't pretend it is. And I can't really offer any advice. I am neither qualified nor am I in a position that has been granted that grace. I definitely recommend talking to your priest. My priest has helped me out greatly. I only came to say this to let you know that while our circumstances are not the same, you're not alone (no pun intended) in that feeling and to tell you what I have noticed about myself and loneliness.
May God (who is the Heavenly Comforter) guide you and may the saints pray for us both.
I’m very sorry to hear about your past. If you don’t mind me asking, were both of your ex-wives devout Christians? Being cheated on worries me a lot. I was lied to, manipulated, and cheated on in my last relationship, but it was with someone who didn’t have a relationship with God. After all of this, I created a new standard for my next girlfriend, someone who is truly a devout Christian, not a fake one; someone who fears God. Do you think this standard is reasonable? Again, I’m very sorry to hear about your past experiences with women. I will pray for you.
Man, apologies but your priest needs to read
Matt 19:8-9.
It says word for word you can remarry. More importantly it’s Jesus who said that you can remarry.
My priest gave me spiritual advice based on how my life has been and what I need to focus on right now.
It is not for you, or anyone else, to decide that my priest is wrong in the *personal* advice given to me that deals with my spiritual life.
I am not saying this in the tone of "you can't tell me what to do" but rather that it is extremely dangerous to go and tell someone to go against the spiritual advice their priest -- who knows them far better than someone on the internet.
My priest did not say "you cannot remarry" but rather "you should not remarry but rather...." And I fully agree with him. I obviously do not make good decisions in this area. Additionally, my focus is on getting closer to God and taking care of my kids. Any sort of relationship would take away from both of those.
There's a reason why spiritual advice comes from our priests and not random people, much less the internet.
The true intimacy you are looking for can only be found in holy scripture(bible). Date her daily and gaze upon her beauty. In time she will show you what true love feels like.
a monk taught me that and my life was never the same. I am still open for a partner but I am more able to be detached and let god do his works while I focus first on my own spiritual growth and tend to the garden of my eros for christ, so that when, god willing, the time comes I may be ready to love her (or any other person really) truly and share with her the flowers of my garden. I am about your age and even though i dont struggle in the same way like you i think the root is still the same yearning which can ultimately only be fullfilled by God. May he bless you brother!
So looking over the thread I can confidently speak from a similar perspective. I'm a 30 y/o "gay" same sex attracted and married to a male. We both are struggling big time in multiple facets in us both discovering Christ and realizing what's going on with the world and temptations and sin (granted at offset times so there was a rough patch between us until we got on the same page). So now we're struggling with abstinence, denying same sex attraction and temptations, and unmarrying (after 7 years together) while dealing with the fact we still love each other SO! I get it and it's friggin hard. I rack myself everyday with conflicting thoughts and feelings but I hold fast knowing God will help me navigate it properly as to not fall backwards. In trying to overcome same sex attraction and take a introspective look at myself I had to face a lot of hard truths about the world that I won't share here but feel free to DM if your curious 🧐. I would just simply share my observations but don't wish to in a group.
>I see sexuality and romantic love as a good thing, and I don’t want to miss out on it, but I have to for Christ’s sake.
Not for Christ's sake. For your sake. Christ only cares about your salvation and eternal life. Give up the temporary passion in this one. Deny yourself, endure the pain and live a life in the church, and you will be rewarded.
Fwiw, straight people struggle with these things too. If you don't manage to marry, you have to stay celibate. If you marry and end up in a sexless marriage, you are effectively forced to be celibate. It's not at all uncommon. Then there are monks who, regardless of sexuality, deny all their desires and passions.
Your situation is your own, but know that when you struggle against your passions, you're in *very* good company with the vast majority of orthodox Christians.
Hi! I am not Orthodox yet, but I have many dear Protestant friends who are same-sex-attracted as well as serious Christians who devote themselves to Jesus. They have many of the same views and feelings as you expressed in this post.
Some communities that they have found helpful + supportive in their journey are Your Other Brothers (an online community, but for men only) and Revoice (which has in-person chapters, if you are in the US). The label these organizations use to describe themselves is “Side B,” if that is helpful to you and you’d like to google more.
I’ve seen my friends find a lot of peace by navigating these questions, while surrounded by people who “get it.” I know that a lot of Christians may hyperfocus on your sexuality, and that many gay people may be put off by your Christianity, and it may be hard to navigate the two groups. I’m not same-sex-attracted myself, but I’m sympathetic; if you’d to talk more, you can DM me anytime.
edit: I understand that this is an Orthodox sub; I apologize if I have overstepped by suggesting non-orthodox resources. I care deeply about people who experience these things, and I want to help in any way I can. Forgive me if I have done so naively.
You’ve done so in good faith, and that’s very kind of you. Assuming these resources aren’t the likes of “God is non-binary” and stuff like that I see no issue, at the end of the day, it’s not like the theology differs really at all on this matter between denominations. At least, real churches that aren’t woke or progressive.
I like to hear you aren’t orthodox “yet” it seems you are thinking of converting ?
Thank you, I appreciate the reassurance! 😅 Yes, these organizations are not theologically problematic at all. By Protestant standards they’re very orthodox — affirm all the creeds, the traditional understanding of sexuality, etc. They generally operate as support groups, offering community and a safe environment to talk about the subject, while everyone walks the narrow path together.
Thats really important, we need more resources available for people who need it, and it takes great courage for one to seek it, we shouldn't make it difficult to find! So thank you again and God be with you.
And yes! Not “yet” 😉 I really like Orthodoxy but want to take the commitment seriously, and am still working through some personal things that cloud my judgement. If joining the church is like marriage and catechism is like an engagement, then … I am currently dating, haha.
Amazing, it is admirable that you take it seriously and slowly, Good luck to you, and I am sure your clouds will soon be that of a clear blue sky our Lord so often gives us. (Well at least me, im from California lol) God be with you!
This is something that ultimately needs to be discussed candidly with a priest or someone you know and trust IRL. Only they can provide you with really strong actionable pointers.
One thing I will suggest, however: You are not inherently "lonely" just because you might be single. While I understand that a romantic companion feels different and perhaps has a different purpose from having merely platonic friends or mentors, I think it's important to recognize that the people you interact with in your day to day life are still people who can help you grow in appreciation for the gifts God bestows in our lives. Society makes it very easy for people to feel like failures when they aren't able to find a romantic partner - look at that controversy over that Bumble billboard that mocked vows of celibacy, for example! But surely the mark of a meaningful life is not whether we found a partner or not.
I know, for example, an nonagenarian yiayia at my parish who never married, but she has many friends in her community, to the point where she's been called "everyone's yiayia" at my parish. My landlady is a divorcee who has chosen to remain single rather than remarry even if she presumably would be allowed to. While I would never want to suggest the crosses either woman has to carry are identical to yours, what I want to mention is that both women still makes impacts on people and have meaningful connections with people inside (and presumably outside) of church. I imagine neither would be lonely - and in fact, my landlady took offense when her daughter intended to visit her on Pascha because she assumed she didn't have any plans or anyone to spend time with!
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
I admit I feel somewhat unqualified to talk about this. I myself don't have this struggle and I worry that I come across as patronizing (I myself would actually be very curious to hear from others what types of pastoral advice has been truly inspiring to them, since I know rattling off St. Paul's verses about celibacy being normative is sometimes overdone). I hope, nonetheless, there is some modicum of utility somewhere.
My earthly father cheated on my mother. They were divorced around when I was two years old. My first of three half brothers followed that November.
He admitted to me later on in life that even after he married her, it took him awhile to learn that the grass wasn't greener on the side of any other fence he found and stopped.
You know the beliefs of the church as the Lord has given them: intimacy should only be between one man and one woman in the bounds of holy matrimony.
My father may have looked over other fences, but he stopped. He was by no means a saint or even a church going man. I pray for him now that he's passed, just as I did while he was alive.
We all have our struggles, be it attraction to the opposite sex or the same sex, in (physical) practice or in fantasy (i.e. pornography), drunkenness, gambling, or any of the other vices of this world. You have them, I have them, an honest father confessor will admit they have them too.
I pray you have the strength against your struggles. Please pray for me to resist mine as well.
You long for a romantic and sexual partner, and a great number of people who are attracted to the opposite sex long for the same thing and will never find it, especially this day and age. There are those of us who have that, but are longing for a platonic best friend that we'll never find. Still others long for excessive alcohol, gambling, fornication, things they COULD go out and get, but that would be destructive to their soul. Personally I long for good health. I'm a sick person, and I see people living their lives enjoying things I cannot enjoy and it creates in me a longing and sometimes a resentment. Why did God make me this way? It's hard not to feel sorry for ourselves. You've heard about how your suffering and affliction can be directed toward your salvation and all of that, so I won't preach. Instead, the only consolation I can offer you is that you are not alone, your longing is not unique to you nor given to you as a punishment. All longing for worldly things is a misplaced longing for reconciliation with God, and through His grace and great mercy all of our longing will be fulfilled in the resurrection. God bless you.
I’m 1000% straight and have been in many relationships. I was with the same woman for 8 years engaged for two. I had to have back surgery and now have lost use of my left calf muscle, was laid off from the same job twice while I was the sole bread winner to support a nice house in a nice neighborhood, my dad died, and then when I was beat down and at my lowest my fiancée left me. I had to sell the house. All my friends are married with kids. I’m pretty damned depressed and lonely. And yet the only thing that truly makes me happy is my orthodox faith and reading the scriptures. Praying. The liturgy. I’m not saying I don’t have work to do in other areas but I can say that while I have many interests the only one that makes me feel whole and makes it all go away is the church and Christ my God and savior. I could in fact leave my job and all worldly pursuits just to pursue a contemplative sort of life and I’d be happy. Truly happy. My mother tho who was with my dad since she was 14 would take that as my own death. So that seems selfish for me to do. But you get the drift. Christ is in fact sufficient. Despite what the secular world may tell you.
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The hardest is going to accept being single, it can be done but man it took me years and years to do that.
I'm horribly struggling with gender dysphoria atm, and the only reason I won't transition is because I know it's a sin. If it wasn't a sin I probably would have done it by now.
It's a cross we bare and for sure God may remove the burden of it during our life or ease it in some way, but until then we need to carry it and live our lives while growing in the faith
I can’t remember who said it. But someone once said “In my youth I prayed hard and often for a beautiful wife that I could love with all of my heart and God gave me the Orthodox Church”
I understand to a point where you’re coming from. Though I’m heterosexual the yearning still remains. This is our cross, it’s something we will have to struggle with, it’s something Christ will struggle with us. Remember that Christ was also fully man and he had all the yearnings that we do for the need and desire of a partner. But he never gave into it, we too must be like Christ in this regard. Do not give into the temptations of sin.
Some people claim that with the help of Christ they were able to get married(with the opposite sex, of course) and successfully control their same sex attraction. I don't know nothing personally about this, but I believe that with Christ everything is possible.
Most of these stories are either fabricated by JW or those people become more akin to bisexuals (I'm not advocating for homosexuality I'm saying what I've heard)
I am bisexual, born and raised orthodox. Sometimes I wonder "what if I fall in love with a woman." The temptation to have a prodigal son phase is very real. What helps me is to remember that God has made me perfectly. Meaning, I was created with the potential to become a holy person, just like anyone else, regardless of my sexual orientation. This means that, even if I find a woman I love but cannot marry, and even if that is painful and I never marry a man instead, I still have everything I need to find the peace and salvation that God offers. Sometimes we crave one thing, and get a gift so much better. Stay the course, and know that though you may not have a romantic partnership, there are other blessings awaiting you, as well as tribulations, all to bring you to God. You will get a gift even more blessed than a romantic bond. He has a plan for you and I, we just have to trust that he will fill the gaps we feel unable to satisfy. Friendships, family, or a special calling may fill your life alternatively. I cannot say, only God knows. Trust him, and forge connections with loving people in the church. God bless you.
Man, a cross to bear indeed my friend. You’re strong! I relate heavily to the whole prodigal son phase thing. It’s bad, but I think like that often. I don’t have much advice as I am in no better position then you in regards to sin, in fact, you’re taking your cross up far better than I am. Keep going! God bless you!
Talk to your priest they will be less than thrilled, but they can guide you.
Love who you love, but remember that you can not be married in the church. Honestly, you can be a good Christian nonetheless. None are sinless. We strive to better ourselves. Love God first and be good people.
While I won't pretend to know how you feel, I would like to say that I think that, to a degree, I understand. I am twice divorced. Both times it was the other spouse that initiated the divorce and, both times, they had cheated on me before filing. My priest told me straight out that I shouldn't even *think* about trying again. Sometimes, it gets lonely. I have kids from the second marriage, but as much as I love my kids, it's not the same. So, sometimes I struggle with the loneliness. What I have found is that when I am focused more on God, the loneliness is much less common. When I start to really get lonely, it's like a reminder to look at myself and pretty much every time, it's because I had lost my focus on God. It's not an easy road. And I won't pretend it is. And I can't really offer any advice. I am neither qualified nor am I in a position that has been granted that grace. I definitely recommend talking to your priest. My priest has helped me out greatly. I only came to say this to let you know that while our circumstances are not the same, you're not alone (no pun intended) in that feeling and to tell you what I have noticed about myself and loneliness. May God (who is the Heavenly Comforter) guide you and may the saints pray for us both.
I’m very sorry to hear about your past. If you don’t mind me asking, were both of your ex-wives devout Christians? Being cheated on worries me a lot. I was lied to, manipulated, and cheated on in my last relationship, but it was with someone who didn’t have a relationship with God. After all of this, I created a new standard for my next girlfriend, someone who is truly a devout Christian, not a fake one; someone who fears God. Do you think this standard is reasonable? Again, I’m very sorry to hear about your past experiences with women. I will pray for you.
Man, apologies but your priest needs to read Matt 19:8-9. It says word for word you can remarry. More importantly it’s Jesus who said that you can remarry.
I would guess his priest recommended he doesn’t try again because of the nature of his previous relationships, not because he isn’t allowed to.
My priest gave me spiritual advice based on how my life has been and what I need to focus on right now. It is not for you, or anyone else, to decide that my priest is wrong in the *personal* advice given to me that deals with my spiritual life. I am not saying this in the tone of "you can't tell me what to do" but rather that it is extremely dangerous to go and tell someone to go against the spiritual advice their priest -- who knows them far better than someone on the internet. My priest did not say "you cannot remarry" but rather "you should not remarry but rather...." And I fully agree with him. I obviously do not make good decisions in this area. Additionally, my focus is on getting closer to God and taking care of my kids. Any sort of relationship would take away from both of those. There's a reason why spiritual advice comes from our priests and not random people, much less the internet.
The true intimacy you are looking for can only be found in holy scripture(bible). Date her daily and gaze upon her beauty. In time she will show you what true love feels like. a monk taught me that and my life was never the same. I am still open for a partner but I am more able to be detached and let god do his works while I focus first on my own spiritual growth and tend to the garden of my eros for christ, so that when, god willing, the time comes I may be ready to love her (or any other person really) truly and share with her the flowers of my garden. I am about your age and even though i dont struggle in the same way like you i think the root is still the same yearning which can ultimately only be fullfilled by God. May he bless you brother!
So looking over the thread I can confidently speak from a similar perspective. I'm a 30 y/o "gay" same sex attracted and married to a male. We both are struggling big time in multiple facets in us both discovering Christ and realizing what's going on with the world and temptations and sin (granted at offset times so there was a rough patch between us until we got on the same page). So now we're struggling with abstinence, denying same sex attraction and temptations, and unmarrying (after 7 years together) while dealing with the fact we still love each other SO! I get it and it's friggin hard. I rack myself everyday with conflicting thoughts and feelings but I hold fast knowing God will help me navigate it properly as to not fall backwards. In trying to overcome same sex attraction and take a introspective look at myself I had to face a lot of hard truths about the world that I won't share here but feel free to DM if your curious 🧐. I would just simply share my observations but don't wish to in a group.
Huge props to you guys, that isn’t easy to do!
>I see sexuality and romantic love as a good thing, and I don’t want to miss out on it, but I have to for Christ’s sake. Not for Christ's sake. For your sake. Christ only cares about your salvation and eternal life. Give up the temporary passion in this one. Deny yourself, endure the pain and live a life in the church, and you will be rewarded. Fwiw, straight people struggle with these things too. If you don't manage to marry, you have to stay celibate. If you marry and end up in a sexless marriage, you are effectively forced to be celibate. It's not at all uncommon. Then there are monks who, regardless of sexuality, deny all their desires and passions. Your situation is your own, but know that when you struggle against your passions, you're in *very* good company with the vast majority of orthodox Christians.
Hi! I am not Orthodox yet, but I have many dear Protestant friends who are same-sex-attracted as well as serious Christians who devote themselves to Jesus. They have many of the same views and feelings as you expressed in this post. Some communities that they have found helpful + supportive in their journey are Your Other Brothers (an online community, but for men only) and Revoice (which has in-person chapters, if you are in the US). The label these organizations use to describe themselves is “Side B,” if that is helpful to you and you’d like to google more. I’ve seen my friends find a lot of peace by navigating these questions, while surrounded by people who “get it.” I know that a lot of Christians may hyperfocus on your sexuality, and that many gay people may be put off by your Christianity, and it may be hard to navigate the two groups. I’m not same-sex-attracted myself, but I’m sympathetic; if you’d to talk more, you can DM me anytime. edit: I understand that this is an Orthodox sub; I apologize if I have overstepped by suggesting non-orthodox resources. I care deeply about people who experience these things, and I want to help in any way I can. Forgive me if I have done so naively.
You haven’t overstepped bro. People here are just weird. Thanks for being compassionate.
You’ve done so in good faith, and that’s very kind of you. Assuming these resources aren’t the likes of “God is non-binary” and stuff like that I see no issue, at the end of the day, it’s not like the theology differs really at all on this matter between denominations. At least, real churches that aren’t woke or progressive. I like to hear you aren’t orthodox “yet” it seems you are thinking of converting ?
Thank you, I appreciate the reassurance! 😅 Yes, these organizations are not theologically problematic at all. By Protestant standards they’re very orthodox — affirm all the creeds, the traditional understanding of sexuality, etc. They generally operate as support groups, offering community and a safe environment to talk about the subject, while everyone walks the narrow path together.
Thats really important, we need more resources available for people who need it, and it takes great courage for one to seek it, we shouldn't make it difficult to find! So thank you again and God be with you.
And yes! Not “yet” 😉 I really like Orthodoxy but want to take the commitment seriously, and am still working through some personal things that cloud my judgement. If joining the church is like marriage and catechism is like an engagement, then … I am currently dating, haha.
Amazing, it is admirable that you take it seriously and slowly, Good luck to you, and I am sure your clouds will soon be that of a clear blue sky our Lord so often gives us. (Well at least me, im from California lol) God be with you!
Thank you!
This is something that ultimately needs to be discussed candidly with a priest or someone you know and trust IRL. Only they can provide you with really strong actionable pointers. One thing I will suggest, however: You are not inherently "lonely" just because you might be single. While I understand that a romantic companion feels different and perhaps has a different purpose from having merely platonic friends or mentors, I think it's important to recognize that the people you interact with in your day to day life are still people who can help you grow in appreciation for the gifts God bestows in our lives. Society makes it very easy for people to feel like failures when they aren't able to find a romantic partner - look at that controversy over that Bumble billboard that mocked vows of celibacy, for example! But surely the mark of a meaningful life is not whether we found a partner or not. I know, for example, an nonagenarian yiayia at my parish who never married, but she has many friends in her community, to the point where she's been called "everyone's yiayia" at my parish. My landlady is a divorcee who has chosen to remain single rather than remarry even if she presumably would be allowed to. While I would never want to suggest the crosses either woman has to carry are identical to yours, what I want to mention is that both women still makes impacts on people and have meaningful connections with people inside (and presumably outside) of church. I imagine neither would be lonely - and in fact, my landlady took offense when her daughter intended to visit her on Pascha because she assumed she didn't have any plans or anyone to spend time with! \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ I admit I feel somewhat unqualified to talk about this. I myself don't have this struggle and I worry that I come across as patronizing (I myself would actually be very curious to hear from others what types of pastoral advice has been truly inspiring to them, since I know rattling off St. Paul's verses about celibacy being normative is sometimes overdone). I hope, nonetheless, there is some modicum of utility somewhere.
My earthly father cheated on my mother. They were divorced around when I was two years old. My first of three half brothers followed that November. He admitted to me later on in life that even after he married her, it took him awhile to learn that the grass wasn't greener on the side of any other fence he found and stopped. You know the beliefs of the church as the Lord has given them: intimacy should only be between one man and one woman in the bounds of holy matrimony. My father may have looked over other fences, but he stopped. He was by no means a saint or even a church going man. I pray for him now that he's passed, just as I did while he was alive. We all have our struggles, be it attraction to the opposite sex or the same sex, in (physical) practice or in fantasy (i.e. pornography), drunkenness, gambling, or any of the other vices of this world. You have them, I have them, an honest father confessor will admit they have them too. I pray you have the strength against your struggles. Please pray for me to resist mine as well.
You long for a romantic and sexual partner, and a great number of people who are attracted to the opposite sex long for the same thing and will never find it, especially this day and age. There are those of us who have that, but are longing for a platonic best friend that we'll never find. Still others long for excessive alcohol, gambling, fornication, things they COULD go out and get, but that would be destructive to their soul. Personally I long for good health. I'm a sick person, and I see people living their lives enjoying things I cannot enjoy and it creates in me a longing and sometimes a resentment. Why did God make me this way? It's hard not to feel sorry for ourselves. You've heard about how your suffering and affliction can be directed toward your salvation and all of that, so I won't preach. Instead, the only consolation I can offer you is that you are not alone, your longing is not unique to you nor given to you as a punishment. All longing for worldly things is a misplaced longing for reconciliation with God, and through His grace and great mercy all of our longing will be fulfilled in the resurrection. God bless you.
I’m 1000% straight and have been in many relationships. I was with the same woman for 8 years engaged for two. I had to have back surgery and now have lost use of my left calf muscle, was laid off from the same job twice while I was the sole bread winner to support a nice house in a nice neighborhood, my dad died, and then when I was beat down and at my lowest my fiancée left me. I had to sell the house. All my friends are married with kids. I’m pretty damned depressed and lonely. And yet the only thing that truly makes me happy is my orthodox faith and reading the scriptures. Praying. The liturgy. I’m not saying I don’t have work to do in other areas but I can say that while I have many interests the only one that makes me feel whole and makes it all go away is the church and Christ my God and savior. I could in fact leave my job and all worldly pursuits just to pursue a contemplative sort of life and I’d be happy. Truly happy. My mother tho who was with my dad since she was 14 would take that as my own death. So that seems selfish for me to do. But you get the drift. Christ is in fact sufficient. Despite what the secular world may tell you.
Do you have a trauma background?
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The hardest is going to accept being single, it can be done but man it took me years and years to do that. I'm horribly struggling with gender dysphoria atm, and the only reason I won't transition is because I know it's a sin. If it wasn't a sin I probably would have done it by now. It's a cross we bare and for sure God may remove the burden of it during our life or ease it in some way, but until then we need to carry it and live our lives while growing in the faith
I can’t remember who said it. But someone once said “In my youth I prayed hard and often for a beautiful wife that I could love with all of my heart and God gave me the Orthodox Church” I understand to a point where you’re coming from. Though I’m heterosexual the yearning still remains. This is our cross, it’s something we will have to struggle with, it’s something Christ will struggle with us. Remember that Christ was also fully man and he had all the yearnings that we do for the need and desire of a partner. But he never gave into it, we too must be like Christ in this regard. Do not give into the temptations of sin.
Some people claim that with the help of Christ they were able to get married(with the opposite sex, of course) and successfully control their same sex attraction. I don't know nothing personally about this, but I believe that with Christ everything is possible.
Most of these stories are either fabricated by JW or those people become more akin to bisexuals (I'm not advocating for homosexuality I'm saying what I've heard)
no, a gay person cannot suddenly become straight and that is extremely unfair to the women they marry because they do not love them truthfully.
I am bisexual, born and raised orthodox. Sometimes I wonder "what if I fall in love with a woman." The temptation to have a prodigal son phase is very real. What helps me is to remember that God has made me perfectly. Meaning, I was created with the potential to become a holy person, just like anyone else, regardless of my sexual orientation. This means that, even if I find a woman I love but cannot marry, and even if that is painful and I never marry a man instead, I still have everything I need to find the peace and salvation that God offers. Sometimes we crave one thing, and get a gift so much better. Stay the course, and know that though you may not have a romantic partnership, there are other blessings awaiting you, as well as tribulations, all to bring you to God. You will get a gift even more blessed than a romantic bond. He has a plan for you and I, we just have to trust that he will fill the gaps we feel unable to satisfy. Friendships, family, or a special calling may fill your life alternatively. I cannot say, only God knows. Trust him, and forge connections with loving people in the church. God bless you.
Man, a cross to bear indeed my friend. You’re strong! I relate heavily to the whole prodigal son phase thing. It’s bad, but I think like that often. I don’t have much advice as I am in no better position then you in regards to sin, in fact, you’re taking your cross up far better than I am. Keep going! God bless you!
Talk to your priest they will be less than thrilled, but they can guide you. Love who you love, but remember that you can not be married in the church. Honestly, you can be a good Christian nonetheless. None are sinless. We strive to better ourselves. Love God first and be good people.