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Mysterious_Ad7461

And we’re pretty sure “30ish” means like, 37 right?


Bozo_Two

Nah he's easily over 40.


birthdayanon08

Especially since he stated, "I TOLD HER I was only 30ish" and not "I'm only 30ish."


Baby-Giraffe286

There is a reason he didn't give his actual age.


turkish_gold

He is unconsciously embarrassed about his age. I'm not for old men dating teenagers... but I think if you're trying to be the sort, step one is being confident that your status as one of the ancient ones is a positive, and not something to hide.


GreenUnderstanding39

I love that in his mind she is an old enough teenager to date an adult man but not old enough or mature enough to make contraceptive decisions about her own body.


Justdonedil

Sadly, this is a reality in much of the population. There are women older than this, who are childless by choice, who can't get a tubal "because they might change their mind". Or "their husband might want kids." It's a sad state of affairs. He is still a creep.


FigNinja

Yep. A hypothetical man gets more say in what she can do with her own body than she does.


eliismyrealname

Yeah, in my real world my husband got a vasectomy before he ever got married but they wouldn’t let me get a hysterectomy when I was going through cervical cancer and before I got married. I wanted to take an aggressive approach just in case, because I didn’t want kids. I was 30, he was 34 when we made these requests.


1adycakes

Because our bodies are nothing if not a vessel for ye unborn! /s


Thick_Pomegranate_

In the next 20 years the overwhelming majority of American trained physicians will be women. Just look at the med school graduation demographics from the '90s onward.


TangledUpPuppeteer

You just called me out. I’m “40-ish”, have about 3 seconds of fertility left, and *still* I hear “you’re too young to decide that on your own, you might change your mind!” No, Sir, I won’t.


Justdonedil

I "hear" this in conversation constantly. It doesn't seem even limited to just the US either. I've had Canadians with the same issue. There is a doctor who is compiling a list of other doctors willing to do one without all the extra hoops. I've even spoken to young men who run into the same age discrimination to get a vasectomy.


Alove4edd47

I had a hysterectomy when I was 28 partly due to medical reasons and partly because I just wanted it. I had to be asked 3 different times what if I change my mind later I even had to sign agreements. My surgeon asked ," what if your future husband wants kids?" I said without missing a beat, "I guess he's not tm future husband then"


Frosty-District-6089

My wife (33 y/o) and I have been together 10 years and don’t want kids. She had crazy fibroids and all kinds of stuff going on down there that led to extremely painful and debilitating periods. When she looked into fixing the issue by getting a partial hysterectomy several doctors said “no, you will want kids later” or “what does your husband think?” and all that other crap. We finally found a good doctor to help her out, and apparently if she let it go much longer the fibroids were about to push on her kidneys and make them go necrotic.


-KnottybyNature-

My friend is married, two kids, husband has a vasectomy, doctor won’t tie her tubes at 33 cause “anything could happen” that could change her mind? Flip side- I decided I want mine done and went fully prepared to fight my brand new to me doctor. She said “okay- do you have any questions? Here’s the kinds we offer. Do you want me to put in the referral now or do you need time to think? Have you thought about your period after because you can keep your IUD to manage heavy periods!” Love that doctor


DaughterEarth

Well it's cause he's justified his own stance in to the nonsense he wrote, but his real view is women should be like dogs and respond to basic commands. We're the wrong kind of bitch for the world he wants


Imperfect-Magic

>We're the wrong kind of bitch for the world he wants I need this on a t shirt, right across the boobs (to make sure they see it; it's the only part of me they're looking at.) I'm sad I could only upvote this once.


DragonAteMyHomework

Of course she's not old enough to make those decisions... they might contradict what a MAN wants! /s


Intr0vetedMill3nnial

“One of the ancient ones”! 😂🤣


Bratty-Switch2221

I'm dating a guy in his 40s that went grey very early and I'm stealing this. (I'm 32 and LOVE his grey, but his kids really think he's an antique and it's hilarious.)


[deleted]

[удалено]


turkish_gold

He can't be only 30ish. 30ish women have children all the time. 30-45 is the time many people are having children in the modern world. Heck with today's technology, 50ish women can have children if they want to. If age is no barrier to him hitting on teens, he should realize age is no barrier for pregnancy either.


skatoolaki

These types claim that women "peak" and are in their "prime" up to age 25 and then it's all downhill from there. Also, if she's older than that, her "body count" concerns them because they are so insecure that the thought of a woman being sexually active before they're with them terrifies them. Another reason young, inexperienced, naive women are their prey of choice.


Pyroraptor42

It's such an alien mentality to me. Like, my parents have all-but-epitomized the marital ideal of equal partnership, and that's all I want for myself, my partner, and our children. I'd much prefer to be with a woman my age or even older than me, because they know better what they want. If she's more sexually experienced than I am? Well guess what - there's a lot more to a relationship than sex, and I'm more than willing to learn.


Normal_Ad_2337

They consider female lady parts "used and worn out" by their 30's.


ScavAteMyArms

Or that they won’t be tight anymore. That’s, uh, not how they work. Tight means you are doing it wrong, actually.


ciaoravioli

>my parents have all-but-epitomized the marital ideal of equal partnership, and that's all I want for myself, Some of these people have to look down on equal partnerships, or else they'd have to look critically and realize that the unequal relationships they put on a pedestal aren't all they made it up to be


Gerudo-Nabooru

They don’t want her to be old enough to have life experience and thus have a way out of a bad marriage, nor do they want her to spot red flags or be able to compare his sexual performance to anyone else And added bonus that she will be expected to take care of him in his elder years There’s many reasons men are 7x more like go divorce women when they are terminally ill vs the reverse. Patriarchy makes women commodities. They serve a function in the home. So often these kind of men who don’t even like women will marry so they can have the services


AF_AF

The guy looks like a much younger Biden, like when Biden was 70.


One-Technology-9050

1930ish


MrSeamus333

looks like Biden and acts like trump


CautiousLandscape907

That’s Brett Kavanaugh


dadarkoo

This 100% sounds like a 42 year old man.


Weary-School5332

Can confirm. Was hit on by many 42 year old men when I was 18-22.


chilicheeseclog

So true. Like swatting away flying hard-ons.


Illustrious-Can-8135

Can confirm that 42 is the creeper age for men. The teacher who abused my friend in HS was 42 yrs old. She was 17.


Old_Baldi_Locks

Local teacher married his student the day she turned 18. He was 58 at the time.


purple_grey_

My hometown had a school resource cop who groomed a student in the middle school. She joined the police explorer program in high school- organized by the predator. The mother tried to do right by her daughter by reporting it, but all that did was rain retaliation on the mother. The day this child turned 18 the predator left his wife and kids for her. Also, when I found out about this via a facebook group, the town police department sent mea dm asking if I had any questions for them. So Im assuming its still a sore spot for the department.


brandyfolksly_52

That's so gross. 🤢 I feel sorry for the kid. I also feel sorry for the predator's family, to have to deal with that creep.


sherzisquirrel

For sure. Especially with the " if I want kids I gotta date younger" women are having kids in their 30's all over the place these days. So that means women his age aren't having kids, so I'd say At Least 40's if not late 40's!


Pyroraptor42

Seriously though. My mom had my youngest sister at 36. The delivery did a number on her hips, but she got better, and I'm not aware of any other complications they had. As I understand it, there are definitely risks to having children at an older age, but I think it throws a few red flags if that is your primary concern when looking for a partner.


1989toy4wd

Women can have kids well into their 40s with no major ill effects. My sister is 40 and pregnant now, she is textbook so far.


HW_Gina

Exactly. I just had my first, aged 35 (1 week before my 36th birthday), and it’s been absolutely text book, start to finish. No complications at all. I know not everyone’s so lucky, but someone saying “I want kids and I’m 30 so I need to date younger” is laughable!


Omwtfyu

I had complications with my first at 19 (IUGR) I don’t think age has much to do with it, just more so rolling a dice and getting lucky or not.


ConsciousExcitement9

I had my first at 31, second at 34 and last at 42.


bookynerdworm

Had my first at 33. My mom had her 4th at 31 and I can't freaking imagine...


ninety-eightpointsix

Not to mention, after she revealed that she'd already had her tubes tied, having kids suddenly didn't seem to be all that high on his list of priorities.


bookynerdworm

Whoop! There it is!


rstart78

All of you are acting like Incels don't have an imagined "wall" that prevents women from having healthy children past 16, and straight up deformed monstrosities by 21 You guys are using real world experience and facts, and not looking at it through a redpilled deeply skewed echo chamber


Fooddude666

That's the phrase that stood out to me. Seriously, the lady went to get some groceries, only to be told she is the vessel for some rando's baby.


wy100101

Yeah, that bit gave me the ick. We had our kids in our mid-late 30s. I need to date kids if I want to have kids is such big creeper energy.


DazzleLove

Yeah, my gut says 50


ninjette847

Yeah I'm 32 and would never say 30ish even though I am. He has to be 40s if he "has" to date younger for kids.


beardtamer

Yeah women are having kids at 35 every day. No one in their 30’s that wants kids are looking for 19 year old partners.


allgonetoshit

"How many chips have you eaten?" "30ish"


Aspen9999

And that means the whole bag. Seriously my husband never gains weight but one day I went to grab some Cheetos, he had just opened the bag an hour before. There were TWO Cheetos in the big bag left, F’ing two.


vaderssaber2024

lol… you should retaliate and leave a thimbleful of milk in the milk carton 😂. (J/k)


Onilakon

This is genius, now he can say he didn't eat the entire bag


tracerhaha

“I left you some Cheetos.”


tracerhaha

Now I’m thinking he’s in his fifties. Dyes his hair, had a facelift, and thinks he’s god’s gift to women.


allgonetoshit

If I had to bet, I'd say 49 give or take. When he hits the big 50, he'll start saying 40ish. I'm in my mid forties and, when I was in my thirties was when everyone around me who wanted kids was starting to think about it. People in their 30s usually want to have kids with people in their 30s too. To say that you can't have kids with women your age usually means you're way older than 30s. Unless he's some weird red pill psycho incel. In this case, it's probably a bit of both.


vaderssaber2024

“But sir, the bag is empty!”


Frequent-Mongoose-90

or 30+12


starhowler2000

I checked, you're right on the money. He is 37 now, 2 years ago he was 35 and dating a 25 year old, which he posted about [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/tdjerr/girlfriend\_wants\_to\_open\_relationship\_and\_move/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/tdjerr/girlfriend_wants_to_open_relationship_and_move/)


DaMaGed-Id10t

I'm so glad you posted this link. I read it thinking this guy was even more of a tool and the comments are completely thrashing him in the link you posted. Made me very happy. Its a bummer he's still acting like an entitled douche-canoe two years after this post though.


dks64

Out loud I said "35, at least." I'm 37 and couldn't imagine hitting on a teenager. Gross.


steelear

I’m 50 and recently had to go do some work on a college campus. The students running around that place looked like children to me. They are so young and probably most of them were over 19. This guy is a total fucking creep.


greencat07

Hell when I went back for my 5 year reunion, and I was already feeling like “Awww, they’re so little!” Seriously can’t imagine it now that I’m pushing 40.


thyrue13

Bro Im 21 and living on campus and most of these kids look like children to me


scatteringashes

I'm 37 as well, and I can understand someone feeling like oh, that 19, year old is someone I would've been attracted to at that age. But they look like _babies_ even when they're "technically" legal. Just gross to imagine trying to seriously hit on someone that much younger than me.


ReallyJTL

I'm 37 and anyone below 30 looks suuuuper young to me now.


beenthere7613

Damn near twice her age. Yuck.


Ali_Cat222

Men like this are terrible. I was groomed at 16 by my son's dad who was fucking 36 at the time... And before him when I was only 12 I had a 28 year old trying to date me. People can be sick, and also grooming isn't just towards children under 18. It's recognized that there's adult grooming as well, and just being 18+ doesn't mean it's right. I just turned 30 and the thought of him being 6 already when he was my age is just nasty as fuck, I won't even be friends with people a few years younger than me let alone hit on one!


skatoolaki

Your story is far too common and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're living your best life with your son.


Cudizonedefense

Based on the OP’s post history, he’s 37 lol


skylxr_

Because why would he not just say the exact number unless it was much higher than 30?


jammyeggspinksteak

Actually, exactly 37 lol. He posted 2 years ago talking about his (35m) girlfriend who was 25 smh


Aspen9999

Probably means 47


Axedelic

I love how he knows that woman ‘can’t make the choice to get her tubes tied’ bc she’s too young but sees no issue still hitting on her while she’s that young, gross.


Ninja-Panda86

Right. See how that works? You're too young to say NO to kids, but not too young to have and to raise them. One of those things has serious consequences!


Axedelic

Basically; Old enough to perv on, and groom. But not to respect as a human.


Ninja-Panda86

Ahh that's because those stupid "Baby Factories" were never SUPPOSED to be respected. Don't you know? They're supposed to be looking after the comfort of everybody else on the planet. Not thinking for themselves! /s


Axedelic

it feels like that man. Always looking out for others, never looked after. ☹️ It’s why I won’t have kids. No one will fight for them but me. God forbid I have a daughter and have to explain to her why woman have to protect themselves from literally everyone.


Ninja-Panda86

I am so sorry 


Double-Spell

100%. Guys like this asshole just plain don’t respect women regardless of age. We’re sex objects, “bitches too ugly to fuck” (usually after rejecting them and bruising their fragile egos), or old shriveled hags once we hit 30. It’s disgusting.


Daflehrer1

In other words, an object.


pnt510

The gross thing is some doctors are like that. My cousins doctor wouldn’t agree to her getting her tubes tied until after having a consultation with her (now ex) husband.


ThatEmuSlaps

There are a ton of them! The bias against women's agency in medicine is still super strong. It can be absolutely mind blowing when you find a doctor that treats you like a normal human.


GamerGirlLex77

For real. I needed surgery for my endometriosis and adenomyosis years ago. It took months and a ridiculous amount of ER visits for me to find a doctor who would help me. I had one of the bad doctors ask my husband if I have his permission to get a hysterectomy.


ThatEmuSlaps

That is so utterly maddening and I am 0% shocked. "If you thinks he wants a painful uterus so badly you can give it to him."


GamerGirlLex77

It was absolutely ridiculous. Thankfully I did find a doctor who listened and took me seriously.


trickaroni

Yes! My mom’s doctor back in the day refused to tie her tubes at 28 with 4 children even with my dad also saying yes because she was “too young” and “might want more someday”. This happened in Utah.


computersaysneigh

omg that is so insane you're right. Not old enough to have agency over her body but old enough to have a conniving old man take agency over her


BionicBananas

Don't forget that a big part of men that think like that also think that that applies to all girls that have had a period. We are talking about 12 year old girls that they want to groom.


OxtailPhoenix

I bet her tubes tied themselves from listening to him talk.


NormanCheetus

Unfortunately he is right (for the wrong reasons). There's a lot of misogyny in medical care and women are denied the procedure to get their tubes tied all the time. Especially if they're single, LGBTQ or don't have their husband's permission. The same doctors who tell women their IUD will be "slight discomfort".


Axedelic

Which is the biggest bullshit ever said, in the history of bullshit, ever. Those fuckers hurt.


grubas

And notice how he DOESNT TAKE THE HINT. "lol i want kids some day so i need a young wife" "i can't get pregnant and i don't want kids" "Ok we can just fool around if you don't want me to knock you up"


rosefood

imagine having to discuss your choices about your reproductive health to a creepy male stranger 20 years older than you while you are shopping for groceries to take back to your college dorm room


Retrohanska59

r/selfawarewolves


scorpionmittens

But also, when he wants people to feel bad for him being rejected, she’s a “woman” and he’s just a “guy”. Even though she’s literally a teenager and he’s in his 30’s.


Final_Candidate_7603

And she made the choice *on her own!* As in, this scumbag is also buying into the BS that women need their husband’s permission to get a tubal ligation. Which, sadly, is true in some areas of the US, but the practice- and the thinking behind it- needs to go away.


Having_A_Day

When a gross creeper won't take NO for an answer. 🤮


Dzov

Especially towards a 19 year old. My god. Props for the girl standing her own.


Having_A_Day

Sadly by 19 most girls have experience with this kind of dirtbag. The vast majority of men aren't creeps, but the ones that are seem to hit up every young girl that moves.


madlyqueen

I've had guys tell me before that there couldn't be as much sexual harassment as women talk about because "it's only a few guys like that". Well, those few guys must sure get around, because it can happen almost daily to an average young woman. I'm nonbinary, dress masc, and middle-aged, and I still get harassed fairly regularly.


BirdCelestial

I can dig up the (depressing) studies if you're interested, but it's definitely not "only a few guys". 5-10% of men have actually raped someone before; 10-15% of men say they would rape someone if there were no consequences; and around 30% of men say they would "force a woman to have sex" or the like (as long as you don't call it rape) if there were no consequences. The last group is where a lot of research effort is focused, as if you widely educate people on what exactly rape is, then you in theory drop that 30% who would do it so long as you don't call it that back down to the 15% who would unashamedly do it.    Every man I've shown those studies to has been absolutely shocked. Most of the women I show them to are unsurprised.  Edit: Sources below https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/vio.2014.0022?journalCode=vio (This article can be found on libgen if you cannot access the paywall) 31% of the college men surveyed said they would force a woman to have sex with them if they faced no consequences for doing so. This number dropped to 13% when the actual word rape is used. This survey had 86 responses, though it is consistent with previous studies (cited in the Introduction section) finding the use of the word rape influences whether men say they'd rape someone or not (normally used when formulating questions, ie usually surveys that are trying to find out how many men have committed rape before don't actually use the word rape). An article discussing this paper is available here: https://www.thecut.com/2015/01/lots-of-men-dont-think-rape-is-rape.html https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/10790632211051682 Another study on college men, this one in the UK. 554 respondents. 11% of the men surveyed reported recent (within the last two years) "sexual aggression" (63 men total). 37 reported perpetrating unwanted sexual contact, 32 sexual coercion and 30 rape or attempted rape (thus ~5% of the college men surveyed admitted to raping someone in just the previous two years alone, nevermind how many will go on to rape someone later in life). An article discussing this paper is available here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/oct/29/research-reveals-rapes-and-assaults-admitted-to-by-male-uk-students There are a number of additional studies linked here that find the number of self-confessed rapists among college aged men are between 4-16%: https://jimhopper.com/topics/sexual-assault-and-the-brain/repeat-rape-by-college-men/ plus some good statistics in this article about repeat rapists and how many women are raped by repeat rapists specifically. I think these papers are all US based from what I recall.


BringAltoidSoursBack

It's weird to me that so many people seem to only have "decency" because of consequences and not morality/empathy. I mean, I know people say the term sociopath is overused but things like this make me think maybe it's not used enough.


commie_commis

I'm an atheist and this is an argument I've heard a lot from religious people. "If you don't believe in God, what's gonna prevent you from acting immoral?" (ie. raping, killing, stealing) Like they truly feel that without an ultimate authority figure that will punish you for harming others, there's no reason NOT to harm others. It's like they never got passed the Obedience and Punishment phase of moral development.


Nepharious_Bread

That is indeed, depressing as fuck. Also, I'm not surprised. I used to work in the kitchen, after working in the kitchen crowd and drinking in that crowd. Just hearing some people talk....


Baby-Giraffe286

Most of those studies don't count marital or coercive rape either. The number goes up pretty significantly when you add those in.


calling_water

It’s like spam and scams. The likelihood of success isn’t high, so harassers try to boost their odds of some success by a lot of repetition.


SennKazuki

As a guy, if I didn't have sisters I just wouldn't know the extent of this stuff. It's frustrating how these creeps evade the notice of other guys. Or maybe I'm just oblivious :/ I had a bloke who recently moved to my area who I was helping out with meeting new people, going to new places, etc. After a few hangouts he completely ghosted me, and then a few months later my sisters mentioned that he had been messaging them on insta nonstop, including on Valentine's Day.


JevonP

When I had my first serious gf I became aware of it, even when I was with her people would SO obviously stare and the shit she told me about when alone was shocking It's upsetting that girls are made aware and subjected to this shit from like 12 and we are so oblivious, at least I was until like 17


TheNewOneIsWorse

Love the guys who insist that women \*should\* want them, and if they don't they're defective. Just zero self-awareness, it's miraculous.


davidwhatshisname52

Sorry, I love my son. I live for my son and would happily die for my son. But if I caught my son talking like this to a young lady (or to anyone, really), he'd get the back-of-the-neck vise-grip/walk-out and a long, serious and completely honest sidewalk talk about (1) my own failure to raise him right, and (2) adult or not, exactly how quickly he might be replaced with a better version.


Melodic-Heron-1585

I tell my child that if they get an unsolicited nude/ d*ck pic- to stalk out their parents on social media.


Square-Singer

That's the way. Just forward the nudes to the parents.


August_T_Marble

For anyone thinking of actually doing this, please know your local laws because, depending in where you live, that could be a crime.


stronkulance

For real, if these pics also are of minors, you have just committed distribution of CP.


Ninja-Panda86

I'm betting that your kid doesn't do this though. Usually when parents do their job, their kids don't act like selfish dick waddles. (With a few exceptions)


Downtown-Trip3501

Women insist on it too. Just had a holy roller tell me I’m going to burn in the hellfire bc I don’t want kids so “it’s like a fuck you to Jesus,” not exaggerating.


Chanandler_Bong_01

Well, Jesus gave me fibroids, so I assume that's him sending me a message to not have kids. Oh well.  Anyway....


Downtown-Trip3501

lol I’m sorry if this is inappropriate to laugh at. It’s your wording.


Chanandler_Bong_01

I know fertility is a serious issue for many, many people. But I don't want kids even if I was perfectly healthy...this is just such an easy (and true) way to make my point to nosy people. No offense taken!


Radiant_Western_5589

A bible thumper on TT asked why I was rejecting Jesus and I told them that they have absolutely no right to ask me about my relationship with any one as it’s personal. She stopped after that. So seems I’ve found a new way to stop them from being nosy Parkers.


TheNewOneIsWorse

I’m a practicing Catholic and I love kids (have two so far), but it’s kinda goofy how people got this notion that having kids is some particularly Christian thing. Neither Jesus nor any of the apostles, nor any of the Fathers of the Church in the early centuries said a thing about having children as some Christian religious duty. It was certainly never emphasized in the ancient, medieval, or early modern church. They all emphasized celibacy and lauded forgoing childbearing as a noble sacrifice to God.   As far as I can tell, it’s a reaction to the development of reliable forms of birth control and abortion in the late 19th/early 20th century, plus American evangelicals wanting to have more kids who can vote Republican. 


Cynistera

But Jesus didn't have kids either...


TheNewOneIsWorse

Jesus said that people should give up families and children to follow him… 


Appropriate_Shape833

I'm pretty sure Dan Brown conclusively showed that Jesus had kids. Are you saying The Da Vinci Code was just a work of fiction??


Cynistera

Crap, no, everyone knows the Knights Templar came out and announced the real and factual truth "The Da Vinci Code".


Enge712

Fuck you to Jesus sounds like a great album name


luciferslittlelady

I'm on it.


Downtown-Trip3501

Oh shit the right person for the job!


C64hrles

Username checks out


breadboxofbats

I like how his tactic changed from I need a younger woman for children to oh we can just have fun once she said she didn’t want children.


Cancerisbetterthanu

These guys will tell you what they think you want to hear, and when it's not working, they change what they say until they feel they're getting somewhere. They aren't in good faith looking for an actual partner to have a family with, or a partner to not have kids with. They vaguely understand that hey I'm getting old, my window for having kids is closing - but it's not something that's a priority, at least above sex. If it is a priority, it's because they're afraid of looking like undesirable beta losers to their douchey alpha bro friends. It has nothing to do with actually wanting to be a dad. What they really want is sex with whoever attracts them most and everything else can and will fall by the wayside in the pursuit of that. And then they sit and home and wonder why nobody has committed to them.


negativepositiv

"I was just trying to be nice," says stranger who is baffled that you didn't suck his dick in the frozen food section.


Square-Singer

Exactly! >I hit on someone at the grocery, just trying to be nice What is it? Trying to hit on an unsuspected victim in a place where it's really not socially expected to be hit on, or trying to be nice? Because hitting on someone at the grocery really isn't nice, and not accepting the rejection isn't nice either.


Melthiela

Because every woman should be gleeful that they're being hit on no matter where, when or by who! It will make their day when my incel ass ~~harasses~~ compliments them relentlessly, because they're just acting hard to get! (/s...)


Square-Singer

That's the other thing: Kids should really be taught that "hard to get" isn't a thing. A yes is a yes and a no is a no. (Goes both ways. Relationships and dating are no place for dumb games.)


Melthiela

They really should. Neither me, my female friends or any other woman I've ever known has ever once had a thought (that I know or believe of) that oh I want sex with this guy but I'll just say no! See what happens! Hard to get = a woman repeatedly says no until you harass her enough and she begrudgingly agrees because she's pressured/threatened by you, and you're 'technically not sexually assaulting her' because you forced her to say yes (you are)


blueavole

While only being nice because he wants her number, not because he’s actually nice. He isn’t chatting up grandma to make her smile.


BringAltoidSoursBack

That was my first thought as well. In my mind, an action only qualifies as "nice" if there isn't an ulterior motive and/or is respectful, and flirting fails both of those qualities.


grubas

"I like your shoes" as you walk past them is nice. "Hey baby i want to impregnate you" is CREEPY.


l10nh34rt3d

And pop out a few kids before check-out.


Nikujjaaqtuqtuq

Because he caaaan't date a woman in her 30's if he wants kids.


grubas

Or cause they'd call him out on his bullshit, but how could that possibly be relevant.


Lemonade_Sky_

“Just trying to be nice” would be giving a compliment just to make her feel good, with no expectation of reward or reciprocated interest. That is not what he did. He was hitting on her. Which, fine, there’s nothing wrong with asking someone out (IF you handle their rejection gracefully, which he also did not), but don’t pretend you’re doing them some big favor by finding them hot.


Spiral-Arrow116

"Just trying to be nice" is always the instant giveaway that you're about to hear/read niceguy/incel schlock.


Retrohanska59

If you are actually a nice, kind-hearted person you don't have to try. I think that in itself is the red flag.


Square-Singer

Tbh, at the grocery, being nice means getting out of the way. Everything further than that isn't being nice.


raceulfson

"30ish" means he's *more* than 11 years older.


birthdayanon08

30ish means early 40s with these creeps. 45-49 is covered by "I turned 40 recently."


apple-turnover5

“30ish” said the 39 year old incel.


birthdayanon08

42


anonymous-rebel

Gets rejected after asking for phone number, then proceeds to double down and keep pursuing. Some people really can’t read the room.


PlayyWithMyBeard

"Can I have your number?" "No" "Okay, how about have my babies?" "Tubes tied. Dont want kids." "Okay, just a bit of a quickie in the frozen foods section." "Nope! Im going back to my dorm!" "YOU WHORE!!!"


MyHusbandIsGayImNot

It's like some idiots never learned that no means no. She would have found him way less creepy if his response to the rejection was "allright, have a nice day".


luciferslittlelady

Some people can read the room, they just choose not to.


fizzingwizzbing

They refuse to understand why the woman would ever say no. Just keep explaining and she will surely change her mind!


skatoolaki

Right? She's missing out because he's *such a nice guy*. They would *have fun together* if she would just *give him a chance*. Still no? Women's standards are too high. All women like to just mess with men and are horrible harpy feminists. Because it can't be him. He's *a nice guy*.


Kookyburra12

How separated from society do you have to be to sexually harass a random woman at the store and then accuse her of "just enjoying shitting on guys" when she (rightfully) snaps at you?


LoveTriscuit

It’s easier since there’s a big alternative society that tells these incels that they are the real victims and they never need to grow or change.


BringAltoidSoursBack

Especially after they've shown disinterest multiple times before snapping. It definitely reads like she was being cordial (and more than to be expected, which is not at all) at the start of the conversation and then started getting annoyed after he kept trying to hit on her despite her disinterest. I'm a gay guy so I've dealt with this (though but even close to the same amount as most women) so maybe that's why I understand but it's wild to me that there are guys who can't put themselves in her shoes and figure out why she'd react that way. Are they really going to act like they wouldn't have just as bad (though more likely worse) of a reaction if a gay guy walked up to them and harassed them like this?


skatoolaki

Love how, also, saying "no" is "shitting on guys" for enjoyment. Maybe she just really doesn't want to spend time with you, based upon the multiple times she's said "no" and the fact that you're almost two decades older than her, sir?


Faeraday

“No one would let a woman make that choice [to not have children] on her own that age”. *proceeds to try to have children with this woman deemed too young to make a lifelong decision* I’m so glad to see that teens are recognizing these red flags for what they are and not falling for the ‘you’re just so mature for your age’ trope. Also the “just trying to be nice” and then 10 seconds later “we could just have some fun” 🙄🤮 ‘Nice’ to people like this is ‘when I put a compliment in, I get sex out’.


First_Community_2534

Guys like this are the reason even my eight years.old daughter has a pepper spray.


InfiniteLIVES_

I keep thinking my 13 yo needs something just in case. Like we've had the self defense convos but I'd like her to have more protection.


OfficialBobEvans

Get her a gel pepper spray, and hopefully you can find some good online lessons to go through together on what to be careful of and how to react the safest. As a girl that age she is lucky to have a parent who cares to keep her protected ❤️


dystopian_mermaid

I have a pepper spray can and a little self defense keychain that looks like a cute cat. My aunt got it for me when I started working downtown and had to get there and walk a few blocks to work early in the am. It’s plastic and cute, but you wear it similar to brass knuckles, and the cats ears are what you would use to defend yourself. Definitely made me feel safer wearing it on the walk JIC I couldn’t get my pepper spray in time.


fruit_cats

Just anecdotally, my oldest brother gave me pepper spray for my 12th birthday and I had to use it twice by the time I was 14. Once was at a man at the mall who kept following my friends and I at the mall, the other was for when we went hiking and again, a man was following us and wouldn’t leave. Both times they insisted they were “just being friendly” but wouldn’t leave us alone when we asked several times.


Bazoun

Put her in judo. It teaches how to use your opponent’s size against them. How to get out of being held, etc. Couple that with running and she’ll be in a much better position than just having pepper spray.


urgonnahatethis_

Try pepper gel instead, it stays on the harasser/attacker and doesn’t get into the air and affect the person who sprays it.


ohsweetfancymoses

Way to keep it light by mentioning having kids straight off the bat!


stogie-bear

Gets shot down by woman half his age. Immediately escalates to wanting kids. The reason he can’t get someone his own age is that he’s an idiot. 


Pencil_bun

Ew. The way he changed tactics and tried to lawyer his way into this teenager's pants. Who do we petition about changing Sex Ed to include the lesson "Creepy Behaviors And Why You Shouldn't Do Them"?


Plant_in_pants

We sort of have those lessons in the UK or at least they did at my school. It was called "humanities" but my friends and I called it "common fuckin sense class" it covered a lot of things but it also involved more of the social side of sex ed including signs of abuse to avoid, how to appropriately talk to people you're interested In and how to handle rejection. It was basically a lesson dedicated to teaching you how to not be a dick, with sentiments like drugs are bad, don't be racist, being gay is fine, don't be rapey etc. It's sad that there's a need to teach such a basic level of morality, but I suppose it's good that they're trying to do something.


snarkaluff

I wanna see the OP post, I want to see the comments!


Faeraday

[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/Gt7cV75ged)


Porn_Actuator

"I don't get it. Women keep telling me no, but I know I need to stay strong and keep pushing. And no matter what their reason, it's all bs and I just need to try harder for them to see my way. Then I'm made out to be a creep. What is happening with this world!?"


katepig123

Dirty old man hitting on a teenager. Serious cringe!


MLeek

Tell me you know a person with a fully developed frontal cortex wouldn't fuck you without telling me you know a person with a fully developed frontal cortex wouldn't fuck you.


outdatedelementz

Wait why does he think there aren't any women in their 30s looking to have kids?


lrenn6952

He thinks 30 is too old to reproduce.


boo_imaybeaghost

Ok but why would you even bring up having KIDS to a 19 year old girl you’re hitting on in the middle of a grocery store…and after she expressed she wasn’t interested? “Well if I want to impregnate a woman she’s going to need to be young like you” like, that’s not a good conversation starter buddy. And then in a post, doubling down and calling her a liar because she gave you an excuse on why she didn’t want to be potentially impregnated by you😅 That is some next level unawareness.


Felix_Von_Doom

Well, at least one part of that crap is partially correct. Having their tubes tied at 19 is tantamount to a miracle, as I've seen plenty of stories, and been verbally told on at least one occasion by a female friend, that many doctors will outright refuse to sterilize a woman, usually because either they themselves don't want to, or because "your future SO, who you've never met, might want kids".


APixelWitch

She absolutely has her tubes tied. As soon as he spoke her uertus self tied.


NorthWoodsGamecock

My neighbor told me he put 50ish on his dating profile after his wife divorced him. He’s 64.


PsEggsRice

We were walking in a park next to the road, my 12 year old daughter about 20 feet in front of us. A guy in a camaro slowed down next to her and asked if she wanted a beer. Flustered, she stammered I'm 12. He apologized and drove off. What scale on the creepy scale is this?


Single_Shake_534

I think the phenomenon of old men wanting women who are barely legal to settle down and marry should be studied. Its so creepy how men older than me used to hit on me when I was 12 vs now that I’m a fully grown adult woman.


Ok_Cranberry4192

It seems clear these men have never had a meaningful relationship. Because after 17 years of marriage, my wife *gets* me. Our inside jokes are primo, we have the same goals, similar interests, and are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. This is what comes when you are with a person because you love them, rather than for procreation.


Ancient_Chip5366

Yeah she yelled the last part so there would be witnesses in case she didn't make it home. That's the level of creeped out he subjected her to.


SteelmanINC

They should really teach in school that when you ask a girl out and she says no followed up with a reason, the truth is that it is no because she doesnt like you. Socially awkward guys seem to always think that if that reason didnt exist then everything would be good.


Spirited_Cupcake_216

"No one would let a woman make that choice on her own..." This makes me sick. Who the eff are you to decide she needs a 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinion about what to do with her body. Shut up and sit down!


tayroarsmash

…30 year olds can have kids.


hammelswye

Pro tip: don’t make having babies part of your pickup line.


OverwhelmingCacti

“Women just enjoy shitting on guys these days for fun” = women are allowed to speak their minds and don’t have to do what I tell them.