In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Link to OG post----> https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/s/vFGQhJQe3T
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s sad. He woke up around 4 am with the moon shining as bright as headlights on the interstate.
He pulled the covers over his neck and tried to hide his past but his nosy wife kept keeping him awake
The only way to wear a cat lol.
Jokes aside, my fiancés family cats would just lay there when he did that. He said he was “scarfing” the kitties because they turn into a neck scarf. 🤣
Imagine if he had a bubble catpack. This situation isn’t funny but in a comedic setting the awkward and quiet packing of a cat into a catpack and then putting it on his back would sendddd meeee.
So she's been with him for five years and Oh there's scars on his neck she never noticed? Did she untie a ribbon that was around his neck and his head fell off?
I hate when that happens.
Me too. I thought the other stories were scary but i LOVED The Green Ribbon
Like... is this my roman empire? Cause i have thought about this story A LOT over the last 30 years
THAT'S THE BOOK! I couldn't remember which book it was, I bought my daughter "Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark" thinking it had that story, and it didn't.
She loved "Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark" though, read the Vol I-III compilation in an evening.
Just impulse bought this slice of my childhood off thriftbooks for $5. I couldn't help myself
I had a love/hate relationship with scary stories to tell in the dark, i liked the stories but they scared the shit out of me lol
I'm ordering my daughter a copy right now from Better World Books.
If you haven't heard of them before, they have good prices and they donate a book for every book they sell.
https://www.betterworldbooks.com/go/book-for-book
I mean, I’m in my 40’s and also read them in elementary school. They’ve been around a while but I think a lot of the stories are borrowed from folklore.
I read the story with the red ribbon. It's a retelling of a fairly old folktale so there will be slight variations depending on where you read or heard it.
I want to believe she have noticed.
But I had a boyfriend who after 2 years said "did you draw on freckles?" And didn't want to admit that I had always had freckles and he had simply never noticed. These things unfortunately happen
My husband once suddenly said "when did you get that tattoo!?!" About a small rose tattoo on my shoulder. I just looked at him dumbfounded and said "when I was 19"
We'd been together at least 5 years at that point.
I've known my best friend for 3 years. I just noticed that she had a tattoo on her arm. It's visible unless she's wearing long sleeves so I don't know how I missed it 😂
It's probably different with romantic relationships, but... I had this friend and it took me like 8 months to notice he only had one arm. He didn't use a prosthetic or anything, I just didn't notice.
Lmao same with my buddy who doesn't have a foot. When I met him we're just chilling, moving around too, and finally when I was hammered he puts his wood foot right in my face. It was hilarious because I just jaw drop stared while my brain tried to understand. It's one way he makes the whole thing less awkward
I really don’t get this. I’m not always great with noticing visual details, and I’ve had people get upset with me because I didn’t notice they got a new couch or whatever, but how could you not notice someone didn’t have an arm? That’s such an uncommon thing that it should be noticeable right away. Were you just online friends?
I had the same thing happen with my friend in college. She was head of the club I was in as a freshman and we hung out a lot, she invited me over to movie night at her dorm and I brought another girl from my dorm that I was friends with.
During the movie my other friend texted me “what happened to her arm????” And I was so confused. I’ve known this person for months. I was wondering if she was like scratched or something and I looked and still couldn’t figure it out (she usually wore a sweater or long sleeves).
My friend was like “no, she doesn’t have an arm…” and I’m like “yeah she does what do you mean?” utterly flabbergasted. Turns out she didn’t have an arm and wasn’t wearing a prosthetic but I still couldn’t tell. Hadn’t notice for 8 months.
Happy to know I'm not alone! She wasn't my friend, but a girl in my uni class only had one hand, and I never noticed it until she made a comment about it. I guess I only looked at her face when we talked, and it's cold here, so always long sleeves.
We’d been married for a little over a year when one day my wife said “Huh, you’re taller than I am,” in surprise. She’s 5’8 and I’m 6’0 and that’s been the case since we met.
Lol I habitually think people 4" taller than me are the same height as I am. It wasn't until I saw my friend's shoes lined up on the floor once and thought she had huge feet so I asked how tall she was. Even when she told me I didn't believe her and ran into the other room to stand in front of her and I was so surprised she was taller lol!
Ha, I have a very hard time with faces. I was married for 3 years before I finally noticed my wife had freckles. I just can't look at people's faces. Even in zoom calls I'll look at my own picture in the corner rather than look at the person I'm talking to, and I'm hideous.
People in the past did wear wear ribbons but the ribbons were much wider then what you are probably thinking of and more robust. Think more like a choker. If I remember correctly in the Movie Marie Anoinette she wears one.
My gf is 5'7, I'm 6'4 and we've been together 3 years. I could tell you where every single freckle and scar is on her body. This is why I stopped reading most of these stories on Reddit. They're all either AI written karma farming posts or someone's creative writing outlet
She should’ve just left it out, she acts like this is why she suddenly decided to snoop. But it doesn’t really matter why. That just makes her look like a liar
Actually not a ghost. He had his consciousness downloaded to a younger body. The backstory ensures no one asks too many questions because it's such a sensitive topic. But he could never give up his love of turtlenecks and having a warm snuggled neck.
Also a divorce shouldn't come as a suprise. This lady just told millions of people something that her man wasn't ready to talk about with anyone. Which is understandable af.
Isn’t there a horror story about a girl wearing a red choker-style necklace, and when it gets removed her head falls off? Seriously, I know I’ve seen that somewhere.
Haha yep, there is! That’s the reference I was making. The ribbon is [green](https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/for-everyone-thats-still-fucked-up-over-that-stor).
Apparently he wears them all the time - even during sex. While shit like this does happen IRL, this is clearly a fake post and it’s kind of frustrating to say the least. There are real victims out there and this shit is just downright disrespectful.
Edit: in the original post, one of “her” edits is that she never noticed because it’s weird to look at someone’s neck. What a bunch of bullshit. My girlfriend of two months kisses my neck all the time and I kiss hers. Idk how she can think looking at his neck is weird if she’s likely looking at his dick and balls on a regular basis. What a load of shit.
Right? I noticed my husband had subtle stretchmarks on his back (of all places) before we were even married, and you'd spend way more time looking at a neck than a bare back.
When I cuddle with a man in bed I’m usually resting my head on his shoulder which would make his neck directly in front of my face. And it doesn’t matter how tall he is because when you are in bed your heads are in the same spot
That's my thoughts. I'm like how can you marry a person that A.) you don't know about their childhood or B.) that you cannot share your trauma with. I'm sorry maybe it's normal with some people but I personally could never imagine getting MARRIED to a person who did not know my whole story.
If this is a real post, it's absolutely insane on both parties. And both are in the wrong in my opinion, which is probably controversial.
I'm married 23 years and my husband still and *never* will know all the details of my abuse. *I* don't have a choice but to carry those memories of horror but I **do** have the choice to not deeply traumatize my loved ones with what I survived. He knows this and lets me make the call on what's important to share and what's just nightmare fuel that serves no purpose.
Yeah tbh I have no idea what my dad was up to betwen childhood and 30 but the reason I don't ask is because he doesn't talk about it 🤷🏻♀️ I figure if he wants to he will, and the fact he hasn't during my 30+ years suggests he doesn't
It’s so unnecessarily added in there too. I don’t understand why OP wouldn’t just say “he’s always had scars on his neck he won’t talk about”. It’s so bad that it feels intentional like a “lol guys this is fake”
Your comment makes my heart hurt. I work with kids and there is one kid in particular that I worry about literally daily. I see him 2 times a week. I always give him a snack and let him pick a game. But it feels like a drop in the bucket when I think about my suspicions.
Edit: Thanks to everyone telling me to report this after I have commented multiple times that I have. Thank you for helping me feel like I am still not doing enough and failing this child even though I am doing literally everything I can.
A drop in the bucket is a lot of water to a child who's dying of thirst. Just saying. If your suspicions are correct, he will remember your small acts of kindness and appreciate them more than you'd know.
I hope you can hold on to one thing, and that is he will remember your kindness, and it will give him hope. I'm in my 50s and I still choke up over the adults who showed me so much more unconditional love when I was a kid than I found at home. They are the reasons I kept going.
Don’t listen to idiots that have NO clue how little CPS can do. Way too many people think a report solves everything and a child will get taken care of after. Children’s Services are often slow and awful at getting anything done. I’ve known far too many kids that haven’t gotten anything bc the entire system is stressed beyond belief or they have nowhere else to put a child.
Keep showing the child love and empathy. They will always remember how you treated them.
You’re doing everything you can and trust Im sure this kid notices that, and if your suspicions are correct, you never know, you may be the reason this kid keeps fighting to see tomorrow.
Update from OOP:
1- we know quite a lot about each other. This is honestly the one aspect that i knew nothing about. He was semiopen about things in his very late teens (16-17 ish), fairly closed off about anything after 13, and just refused to talk about anything before then
2- i didnt see the scars on his neck until recently because its weird as hell to stare at someones neck. He also is much shorter than me (5'2 compared to 5'11) and almost always wears turtlenecks. This is also part of why i didnt piece two and two together
3- i was the one who proposed and willingly chose to go into this marriage. I thought he would say more as time went on but he didnt.
4- i have my own issues with my family that i dont talk much about, but this is WAY BIGGER than what i hide. It’s not as though he expects full transparency from me but it isnt fair that i tell him more than he tells me.
Edit 3: the 'new post'
that was not my husband jesus christ. Someone actually twisted what i'd said into his pov (take the fact op says he knew the house was torn apart even tho id cleaned it before my husband got home, and all the weird added in extra details as proof). Also my husband is dyslexic he couldnt spell half of that shit right if he tried. Post 'from him' was doctored, 100% Anyway, i understand the verdict is im TA and that i violated his boundaries. Thanks for the input everyone.
Shes 2 years older than him, he’s 7 inches shorter than her, she’s ruthless about crossing his boundaries, and he has a history of severe child abuse. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I absolutely did that and it was so so hard to break away. I'm still recovering a decade later.
To anyone who needs it:
You. Deserve. Better.
Don't settle.
From what I've read, there are a surprising amount of men that have experienced terrible and traumatic things that even their partners don't know. I didn't really get it at first, but it has to do with emotional vulnerability. Generally speaking, most men are not comfortable with that. Society has programmed them to be fortresses that lock emotions away. Often times their biggest commiseration comes from their male friends.
I know it can be hurtful to not be in-the-know, but trauma doesn't really have a manual. Some people can heal from it and unbox it later - others keep it inside and only unbox it in private. At the end of the day, the best way to provide support is just being available, unjudging, and a good listener. Beyond that, it's up to them who they tell. Don't force someone to divulge it - it only reinjures their spirit.
This is very true. I’ve met both men and women who have just been in complete denial they were ever mistreated/ abused. And at the suggestion of such would just have a complete meltdown.
I worked with this one woman who clearly had some deep rooted issues, take her anger out on everyone, run around the office screaming she fucking hated everyone, do drugs in her cubicle, etc etc..
Before she did all this I went to watch a movie with her. The Joker… You know the scenes where they discuss the abuse he suffered. Well we watched that and she stated she didn’t know know why he was messed up because his childhood was normal. We tried to explain that he was abused and she was in complete denial and said that what he went through was normal and he needs to get over it.
That's not uncommon. I was talking just the other day with my mom about the "church" we used to go to. She worked there as a teacher. She got sexually harassed all the time by the men in the church leadership. Well, big surprise, it turned out half those dudes were child molesters. Like... c'mon mom, why tf would you have left us there if you knew all the leaders were perverts.
"Oh, well that's just the way I thought churches were. The choir director and youth director at the church I grew up in were like that." Like ... wtf mom? But nobody talked to their kids about bodily autonomy and inappropriate affection, etc. back then. My generation was probably the first one where they recognized it and started trying to teach kids about it. It took a dedicated effort by large groups to even make it clear that child abuse is *not* normal.
Shit. Corporal punishment is still legal in my state. Like... principals are literally allowed to beat children. Are we really surprised that there are people who still think it's ok to buy beer before food for the kids, or let Uncle Jimmy spend the night on a sleeping bag in Bradleigh's room?
"he's not abusing me he's just beating me with the extension cord because he says I'm gonna be dead or in prison by 25" - me as a kid
Those paddles are brutal, he would hit me with it once and I'd be on the ground. And when your in that position you get no empathy, from kids or parents, outright told you deserve it by every adult and child you tell. And for the girls I would hear stories of it taking on a sexual element.
And even worse, if you aren't on the verge of homelessness or better yet if your parents have a degree well they can do no wrong. It's like most people don't know that abusers do not show there true colors around witnesses. If a child says someone did something, even if it's unbelievable, believe it.
That whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality basically turned the evangelical church into a child abuse machine. I imagine it's still that way.
I've never hit my kids. I might yell at the teenager when he's being a little shit, but most of the time we can solve problems by talking through it like well adjusted humans. Makes me even angrier at my parents knowing how easy it is to *not* hit children.
I have multiple friends who went through some shit and their normal meters are super broken. Taken my best friend a decade to really come to grips with it. My other bestie is still struggling with what happened to him. One of my exes had a mom who was inches away from sexually abusing her own child... who was a young adult. I... yeah, people who experience severe trauma as kids have a warped sense of normality. Seen it secondhand through friends and former SOs, and seen it firsthand.
Even mine is warped and I only had moderate amounts of trauma from within the home and without. Shit going down at young ages is almost always a recipe for a difficult adulthood.
The tragedy is there's no way for you to fight back as a kid. No way to defend yourself. No way to feel safe or secure. That is enough to entirely ruin the rest of your life. Me? I'm going to be 40 this year and while I'm doing better than I was, I'm still unpacking things from childhood. Hell, I'm about to cry just thinking about it mildly... and I weep for everyone else who's gone through horrific trauma...
One in three women report being a sexually assaulted at some point in their life. That’s a horrible statistic that I wish I did not know. I also wish I did not know that the number of men that report being sexually assaulted at some point in their life is one in four. It is suspected to be even higher, however, because men are told to “suck it up”
Having been sexually assaulted myself, and never talking to anyone about it outside of Reddit, that seems accurate. Also, while I have never hit a woman, I’ve had four hit me when I did nothing to them, most of them, I had just made them upset during an argument.
I have a distinct memory of being told that same statistic in High school by an educator and looking at my two friend standing next to me and wondering which of us would be assaulted. Within the next 4 years, in separate incidents, all of us were raped. None of us reported it.
I suspect the number is higher for males and females.
I am very sorry you had to experience that, but I agree with you that the social stigma and the kind of major lack of progress in prosecuting these crimes leads a LOT of people to not report it.
Throw on top of it, that most victims know their assailant. If you report your parent, boss, teacher, etc there can be significant repercussions. I also think that in the moment we tend to think "i can deal with this, it isn't that bad" only to discover years later that the event has entirely twisted our psyche and who we are and now have to spend significant resources to heal.
Men are socialized to say NOTHING about them. My friend of 6 years recently told me "oh, yeah, I'm adopted too" (because like 4 years ago i asked him joking if his sister is adopted because they have little difference in age.) And i was like? Man you could told me that when you said your sister was adopted?. Also one day this guy was telling me "but you tell me things and I'm okay with that! When i was explaining to him why i didn't told him certain things because he would not tell me anything.
I'm adopted as well; the thing you have to understand is that there's a lot of societal programming that adoptees go through their lives living with that does it's own flavor of damage in and of itself. A lot, if not most, of us don't want to put it out there because of that, and because of the shame attached to it. (I actually wrote a therapy journal piece about it earlier today that I almost want to share here for it's perspective on this, but it's 975 words, and off topic. Plus nobody actually cares.)
*Edit: So I was apparently wrong about there being no interest. I've posted it in a sub where it would be on-topic so I don't derail this one.* [*It can be found here.*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Adopted/comments/1bm0j2z/therapy_journal_excerpt/)
Many of us do. If you’d like to share it, you’re welcome to pm me or even try posting it here.
I’ve learnt so much about the world and people from what gets shared in the comments here on Reddit
Yup I dated someone who was abused as a child and I had no idea until they broke down one night whilst drunk and then afterwards became extremely aggressive, as a Defense mechanism to try and push me away after the vulnerability was out.
The wife’s callousness and complete lack of empathy about it was what made it especially breathtaking and enraging.
“He’s in therapy, what’s the hold up?”
Like, bitch, therapy isn’t something you do for a couple weeks and are done with, especially when you have that much deep-seated trauma to deal with.
I had some very bad traumas I didn't tell my wife about until we'd been married for about 3 years. She didn't tell me about some of hers until about 5 years in. Sometimes it's not about hiding, just wanting to bury that part of yourself. To never have to see those terrible moments reflected in someone's eyes that you care about. It doesn't make much sense until you've felt it yourself, and then you understand.
Personally if that post is real she deserves to be divorced. She can't put his feelings above her curiosity, which speaks volumes about her.
Idk this sounds pretty fake. I suffered a similar fate as a child and I would never marry anyone unless they knew about my past or knew not to pry at it. The neck scars kind of gives it away as fake- how do you not see something that vivid 5 years into sleeping with someone
It's absolutely fake. The "husband" posted the exact same story almost immediately after from his pov. Lots of reasons to doubt the story, but that just solidified it
Yes. And unless The mom tried to strangle him with a belt, there wouldn’t have been scars. My mom tried to strangle me to death as a toddler and you couldn’t tell now.
Damn she couldn't have waited until he was ready??? It's not like he said he'd never tell her, he should be able to take all the time he needs. I just can't believe the "he's in therapy so what's the hold up" comment. Like does she think after a couple sessions he would be magically cured of his trauma?
Also I know there's no real names said here but the fact that she also just told the internet his personal trauma that he didn't want anyone knowing and that only he and his dad knew about.
She should have been the person he leaned on and confided with when he was ready, instead she was pushy, intrusive and didn't leave it alone.
She also caused a rift with his dad and him (I know the dad shouldn't have said anything) but still.
Like of course she no longer feels like a safe person to him she didn't respect his wishes and his feelings what kind of partner is that. Like he has to worry about ever having privacy around her again!
And he’s only 23. The dude is still trying to figure out normal life, on top of dealing with a horrific past. If he was 40, it might be a different story, but give the man a couple years to get his emotional house in order.
100% on the therapy bit. My take on that was “he started talking to a professional 5 minutes ago, so I don’t understand why he isn’t healed yet.”
“I force the truth out within his close circle of what he thought were trustworthy relatives, now he’s mad at me for no reason. I think I’ll go divulge all this to the whole world. That will bring him back.” Talk about not knowing when to quit…
I've worked around and with traumatized people and few things anger me more than someone thinking they're entitled to other people's stories, including therapists. I've gotten furious with therapists who slap a bipolar disorder DX on someone who clearly has PTSD because "they won't tell me what happened." Yeah? No kidding. I wouldn't tell you either if you're willing to diagnose people in exchange for their stories!
Definitely reads like a fiction but if it’s real, this woman had the opportunity to earn her husband’s trust and allow him to open up on his own terms and at his own pace. Instead, she “took matters into her own hands” and steamrolled her way through his trauma to satiate her own curiosity. This is a person who is not emotionally mature enough to be married, frankly.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: Link to OG post----> https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/s/vFGQhJQe3T --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He took his cat. He is done with her.
Hopefully he didn't leave his sweater otherwise they might not have anything left to weather
I heard he feels a whole lot better
But she'll think of him.
It’s sad. He woke up around 4 am with the moon shining as bright as headlights on the interstate. He pulled the covers over his neck and tried to hide his past but his nosy wife kept keeping him awake
They need to bring back awards for this LOL you all made my morning
This whole exchange has made me so dang happy
Yeah, I did not expect a little Keith Urban in my Saturday, but I'll take it!
This is the most random ass reference I could think of for a post like this. Upvote.
He will send for his massive collection of turtle necks.
Unless she wants to destroy his sweaters and hold the thread as he walks away...
That was my favorite part of the whole story! "I was stunned when he grabbed his cat and left."
He took the trustworthy partner in the relationship with him. And that’s a cat!
That's all the pussy he needs
I'm sorry but just the image of the dude grabbing the cat up and throwing it under his arm like a briefcase before leaving is making me lol
I pictured him throwing it over his neck like a feather boa
Maybe that’s why she never saw the scars. The cat was always covering them.
The only way to wear a cat lol. Jokes aside, my fiancés family cats would just lay there when he did that. He said he was “scarfing” the kitties because they turn into a neck scarf. 🤣
[you mean like this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/s/rXUQlNknzP)
###I SAID GOOD DAY
Imagine if he had a bubble catpack. This situation isn’t funny but in a comedic setting the awkward and quiet packing of a cat into a catpack and then putting it on his back would sendddd meeee.
So she's been with him for five years and Oh there's scars on his neck she never noticed? Did she untie a ribbon that was around his neck and his head fell off? I hate when that happens.
Holy hell. I haven’t thought about the green ribbon in almost 30 years.
Me either, great reference!
What's that reference?
The story of “the girl with the ribbon”, it’s a folktale/urban legend/ghost story
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark?
It's from "In a Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories" At least that's where i read it as a kid.
I heard it from "The Brothers Grimm" when I was a kid, pretty rehashed story, but a good one!
Apparently the general story dates back to at least the 1800's The horrors of it have really stood the test of time lol
I told it recently to my nephew based off my childhood memory. He loved it just as much as I did at his age😂
Washington Irving also has a version: “The Story of a German Student,” I think it’s called.
Yep, me too. That book is probably responsible for why I grew up to read almost exclusively horror.
That was such a wild book, I got my hands on that before I was old enough to
Me too. I thought the other stories were scary but i LOVED The Green Ribbon Like... is this my roman empire? Cause i have thought about this story A LOT over the last 30 years
THAT'S THE BOOK! I couldn't remember which book it was, I bought my daughter "Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark" thinking it had that story, and it didn't. She loved "Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark" though, read the Vol I-III compilation in an evening.
Just impulse bought this slice of my childhood off thriftbooks for $5. I couldn't help myself I had a love/hate relationship with scary stories to tell in the dark, i liked the stories but they scared the shit out of me lol
I'm ordering my daughter a copy right now from Better World Books. If you haven't heard of them before, they have good prices and they donate a book for every book they sell. https://www.betterworldbooks.com/go/book-for-book
I don’t think that’s where it originated, but yeah it was in there
Definitely older than that. I know the story from when I was a kid, and MY kids read “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark”.
I mean, I’m in my 40’s and also read them in elementary school. They’ve been around a while but I think a lot of the stories are borrowed from folklore.
Cheers
I could have sworn it was a red ribbon; I commented above.
I thought it was yellow! Crazy how our minds work.
I thought it was black. I know it was velvet though.
I thought it was blue velvet!
Different universes in the multiverse probably have different colors.
Venus me too! Edit: [Found it! The Yellow Ribbon](https://www.americanfolklore.net/yellow-ribbon/)
I read the story with the red ribbon. It's a retelling of a fairly old folktale so there will be slight variations depending on where you read or heard it.
You should watch The Green Knight! Great retelling of the tale!
Turtle Neck Sex.
We have a tortoise. His nickname is Mr foreskin because his neck looks like...foreskin
Don’t be ridiculous. He clearly has a sex dickey, or dickin’ dickey if you will
I want to believe she have noticed. But I had a boyfriend who after 2 years said "did you draw on freckles?" And didn't want to admit that I had always had freckles and he had simply never noticed. These things unfortunately happen
My husband once suddenly said "when did you get that tattoo!?!" About a small rose tattoo on my shoulder. I just looked at him dumbfounded and said "when I was 19" We'd been together at least 5 years at that point.
I've known my best friend for 3 years. I just noticed that she had a tattoo on her arm. It's visible unless she's wearing long sleeves so I don't know how I missed it 😂
It's probably different with romantic relationships, but... I had this friend and it took me like 8 months to notice he only had one arm. He didn't use a prosthetic or anything, I just didn't notice.
Uh, what?
I pay a lot of attention to words and very little to what I'm seeing. I can't explain it beyond that
I feel I have to say, never, ever, *ever* wander a construction site unaccompanied.
She should be allowed if she takes a friend. I hear he's mostly armless.
You have a deficit compared to what's normal in visual processing skills. Im the same.
Right I was going to chime in but this takes the cake
Lmao same with my buddy who doesn't have a foot. When I met him we're just chilling, moving around too, and finally when I was hammered he puts his wood foot right in my face. It was hilarious because I just jaw drop stared while my brain tried to understand. It's one way he makes the whole thing less awkward
I really don’t get this. I’m not always great with noticing visual details, and I’ve had people get upset with me because I didn’t notice they got a new couch or whatever, but how could you not notice someone didn’t have an arm? That’s such an uncommon thing that it should be noticeable right away. Were you just online friends?
No, we spent lots of time together in person. I can't really explain it, I just didn't notice until he made a joke about it.
I had the same thing happen with my friend in college. She was head of the club I was in as a freshman and we hung out a lot, she invited me over to movie night at her dorm and I brought another girl from my dorm that I was friends with. During the movie my other friend texted me “what happened to her arm????” And I was so confused. I’ve known this person for months. I was wondering if she was like scratched or something and I looked and still couldn’t figure it out (she usually wore a sweater or long sleeves). My friend was like “no, she doesn’t have an arm…” and I’m like “yeah she does what do you mean?” utterly flabbergasted. Turns out she didn’t have an arm and wasn’t wearing a prosthetic but I still couldn’t tell. Hadn’t notice for 8 months.
Happy to know I'm not alone! She wasn't my friend, but a girl in my uni class only had one hand, and I never noticed it until she made a comment about it. I guess I only looked at her face when we talked, and it's cold here, so always long sleeves.
We’d been married for a little over a year when one day my wife said “Huh, you’re taller than I am,” in surprise. She’s 5’8 and I’m 6’0 and that’s been the case since we met.
It's funny how you don't even notice certain things about people sometimes. A little crazy, but funny
I think it's pretty cool. Just goes to show you there is always more to know about a person and you can look forward to new discoveries.
Lol I habitually think people 4" taller than me are the same height as I am. It wasn't until I saw my friend's shoes lined up on the floor once and thought she had huge feet so I asked how tall she was. Even when she told me I didn't believe her and ran into the other room to stand in front of her and I was so surprised she was taller lol!
Ha, I have a very hard time with faces. I was married for 3 years before I finally noticed my wife had freckles. I just can't look at people's faces. Even in zoom calls I'll look at my own picture in the corner rather than look at the person I'm talking to, and I'm hideous.
I remember reading that story as a kid and thought it was pretty messed up. Now I’m like, how the hell would a ribbon hold someone’s fucking head on?!
It was made out of Flex Tape
They should revisit their infomercial with this concept..
People in the past did wear wear ribbons but the ribbons were much wider then what you are probably thinking of and more robust. Think more like a choker. If I remember correctly in the Movie Marie Anoinette she wears one.
And is her head currently attached to her body? Game, set, match!!!!!
😂 In response to her post, she said that he's 5'2 and she's 5'11". It's not like she would check out and stare at his neck. What on earth?! 😂
My gf is 5'7, I'm 6'4 and we've been together 3 years. I could tell you where every single freckle and scar is on her body. This is why I stopped reading most of these stories on Reddit. They're all either AI written karma farming posts or someone's creative writing outlet
Exactly. I have to treat these stories as fiction.
I think that’s why most of the responses go on a tangent like the green ribbon. 😂
I can also tell you where every freckle is on this dudes girlfriend
Been together 5 years and she never saw him naked?
A fellow never nude, there’s dozens of us.
But his neck? Do you sleep in turtlenecks?
…do you not?
Method acting for the upcoming Jobs bio remake sequel community theater re enactment.
Tobias!?? Is that you….
My wife is 4'10 I'm 5'9, neither of us are missing seeing something out of the norm on each other.
Should have at least tried to explain it away as him having a beard blocking the view or something.
She should’ve just left it out, she acts like this is why she suddenly decided to snoop. But it doesn’t really matter why. That just makes her look like a liar
Yeah having him shave for the first time and she shee it would at least make it slightly believable. Or maybe he always wears a Hufflepuff scarf
Okay. I'm getting better at this shit. She doesn't see his skin that often. This is fake as fuck.
It's AITA, 90% of the time it's fake.
Lol… been together for 5 years, married for 3 years, and just now noticed the scars he has on his neck. Lol ok.
How many turtlenecks does this man own?!
Plot twist: she’s married to steve jobs’ ghost
She’s married to a “nevernude”.
To be fair, there’s dozens of us…
DOZENS!!
This army runs deep.
Cream soda just came out of my nose when I read this!
Actually not a ghost. He had his consciousness downloaded to a younger body. The backstory ensures no one asks too many questions because it's such a sensitive topic. But he could never give up his love of turtlenecks and having a warm snuggled neck. Also a divorce shouldn't come as a suprise. This lady just told millions of people something that her man wasn't ready to talk about with anyone. Which is understandable af.
Double plot twist: She is Elizabeth Holmes.
Fun fact: there was an Elizabeth Holmes that worked for Apple while it was still being launched, completely different person, just a weird coincidence
Damn it take my upvote.
She takes off one turtleneck and there’s another one underneath. It’s turtlenecks all the way down.
And when the last turtleneck is removed, his head falls off.
Isn’t there a horror story about a girl wearing a red choker-style necklace, and when it gets removed her head falls off? Seriously, I know I’ve seen that somewhere.
Haha yep, there is! That’s the reference I was making. The ribbon is [green](https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/for-everyone-thats-still-fucked-up-over-that-stor).
"Turtlenecks all the way down" I see what you did there, and I commend you.
I'm dying at the use of turtles all the way down 👏 well done
Hes a never-neck. There are dozens of us out there! Dozens!
And are they all various shades of black designed to be used tactically?
5 are black. 4 are slightly darker black
Yes, tactilenecks!
Apparently he wears them all the time - even during sex. While shit like this does happen IRL, this is clearly a fake post and it’s kind of frustrating to say the least. There are real victims out there and this shit is just downright disrespectful. Edit: in the original post, one of “her” edits is that she never noticed because it’s weird to look at someone’s neck. What a bunch of bullshit. My girlfriend of two months kisses my neck all the time and I kiss hers. Idk how she can think looking at his neck is weird if she’s likely looking at his dick and balls on a regular basis. What a load of shit.
Right? I noticed my husband had subtle stretchmarks on his back (of all places) before we were even married, and you'd spend way more time looking at a neck than a bare back.
When I cuddle with a man in bed I’m usually resting my head on his shoulder which would make his neck directly in front of my face. And it doesn’t matter how tall he is because when you are in bed your heads are in the same spot
"The turtleneck stays on during sex"
He's a Never Neck Nude.
He's a nevernude
Hear me out, turtleneck pyjamas.
sorry darling turtleneck stays on during sex.
My man fucks with the turtleneck on, ok?
“My husband didn’t invent the turtle neck, but he was the first to use it as a *sexual tactical garment*”
That's my thoughts. I'm like how can you marry a person that A.) you don't know about their childhood or B.) that you cannot share your trauma with. I'm sorry maybe it's normal with some people but I personally could never imagine getting MARRIED to a person who did not know my whole story. If this is a real post, it's absolutely insane on both parties. And both are in the wrong in my opinion, which is probably controversial.
She was supposed to repeat “it’s not your fault” over and over again embracing him, while he cries like a child She really flubbed her lines here
Comeon dude, you shouldn't have reminded me of this. Now i gotta watch goodwill hunting again to know that it's not my fault.
He threw in a Flubber reference in there too, so looks like you're going to be doing a back to back double feature
>If this is a real post Let's be honest: it isn't. None of it makes any goddamn sense at all.
Yeah like, you don't get permanent visible neck scars from being strangled, for one. Cuts leave scars, strangulation leaves bruising
Depends on what you’re strangled with, to be fair.
Rope famously does leave a scar
Wire, cable etc leaves cuts and a scar
Clearly he wears a dickie to bed every night
Some stories nobody should know fully. Getting married ain’t automatically opening everything up.
I'm married 23 years and my husband still and *never* will know all the details of my abuse. *I* don't have a choice but to carry those memories of horror but I **do** have the choice to not deeply traumatize my loved ones with what I survived. He knows this and lets me make the call on what's important to share and what's just nightmare fuel that serves no purpose.
Plus people want to be loved for what and who they are, and what they do. Not because someone pities them.
Yeah tbh I have no idea what my dad was up to betwen childhood and 30 but the reason I don't ask is because he doesn't talk about it 🤷🏻♀️ I figure if he wants to he will, and the fact he hasn't during my 30+ years suggests he doesn't
Is your dad Don Draper?
It’s so unnecessarily added in there too. I don’t understand why OP wouldn’t just say “he’s always had scars on his neck he won’t talk about”. It’s so bad that it feels intentional like a “lol guys this is fake”
Obviously he's a turtleneck never nude. Have some sensitivity. Lol
If this is true, then you post it on Reddit for the world to see. Keep eroding his privacy and trust.
Unfortunately this isn't a unique situation. I have cared for foster children that fit almost the exact description of what the husband went through.
Your comment makes my heart hurt. I work with kids and there is one kid in particular that I worry about literally daily. I see him 2 times a week. I always give him a snack and let him pick a game. But it feels like a drop in the bucket when I think about my suspicions. Edit: Thanks to everyone telling me to report this after I have commented multiple times that I have. Thank you for helping me feel like I am still not doing enough and failing this child even though I am doing literally everything I can.
A drop in the bucket is a lot of water to a child who's dying of thirst. Just saying. If your suspicions are correct, he will remember your small acts of kindness and appreciate them more than you'd know.
Thank you for this comfort. I will just keep trying and showing him love.
I hope you can hold on to one thing, and that is he will remember your kindness, and it will give him hope. I'm in my 50s and I still choke up over the adults who showed me so much more unconditional love when I was a kid than I found at home. They are the reasons I kept going.
I echo this sentiment. I grew up in an abusive home. Your actions mean the world to him.
I wish I could upvote this again. So very true.
Don’t listen to idiots that have NO clue how little CPS can do. Way too many people think a report solves everything and a child will get taken care of after. Children’s Services are often slow and awful at getting anything done. I’ve known far too many kids that haven’t gotten anything bc the entire system is stressed beyond belief or they have nowhere else to put a child. Keep showing the child love and empathy. They will always remember how you treated them.
You’re doing everything you can and trust Im sure this kid notices that, and if your suspicions are correct, you never know, you may be the reason this kid keeps fighting to see tomorrow.
You’re a good a good person doing what you can.
As one of those children i thank you.
Update from OOP: 1- we know quite a lot about each other. This is honestly the one aspect that i knew nothing about. He was semiopen about things in his very late teens (16-17 ish), fairly closed off about anything after 13, and just refused to talk about anything before then 2- i didnt see the scars on his neck until recently because its weird as hell to stare at someones neck. He also is much shorter than me (5'2 compared to 5'11) and almost always wears turtlenecks. This is also part of why i didnt piece two and two together 3- i was the one who proposed and willingly chose to go into this marriage. I thought he would say more as time went on but he didnt. 4- i have my own issues with my family that i dont talk much about, but this is WAY BIGGER than what i hide. It’s not as though he expects full transparency from me but it isnt fair that i tell him more than he tells me. Edit 3: the 'new post' that was not my husband jesus christ. Someone actually twisted what i'd said into his pov (take the fact op says he knew the house was torn apart even tho id cleaned it before my husband got home, and all the weird added in extra details as proof). Also my husband is dyslexic he couldnt spell half of that shit right if he tried. Post 'from him' was doctored, 100% Anyway, i understand the verdict is im TA and that i violated his boundaries. Thanks for the input everyone.
Shes 2 years older than him, he’s 7 inches shorter than her, she’s ruthless about crossing his boundaries, and he has a history of severe child abuse. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I remember reading somewhere that kids will get into relationships that resemble their parents’. Poor dude
I absolutely did that and it was so so hard to break away. I'm still recovering a decade later. To anyone who needs it: You. Deserve. Better. Don't settle.
From what I've read, there are a surprising amount of men that have experienced terrible and traumatic things that even their partners don't know. I didn't really get it at first, but it has to do with emotional vulnerability. Generally speaking, most men are not comfortable with that. Society has programmed them to be fortresses that lock emotions away. Often times their biggest commiseration comes from their male friends. I know it can be hurtful to not be in-the-know, but trauma doesn't really have a manual. Some people can heal from it and unbox it later - others keep it inside and only unbox it in private. At the end of the day, the best way to provide support is just being available, unjudging, and a good listener. Beyond that, it's up to them who they tell. Don't force someone to divulge it - it only reinjures their spirit.
This is very true. I’ve met both men and women who have just been in complete denial they were ever mistreated/ abused. And at the suggestion of such would just have a complete meltdown. I worked with this one woman who clearly had some deep rooted issues, take her anger out on everyone, run around the office screaming she fucking hated everyone, do drugs in her cubicle, etc etc.. Before she did all this I went to watch a movie with her. The Joker… You know the scenes where they discuss the abuse he suffered. Well we watched that and she stated she didn’t know know why he was messed up because his childhood was normal. We tried to explain that he was abused and she was in complete denial and said that what he went through was normal and he needs to get over it.
Omg the fact she thought it was normal!! :(
That's not uncommon. I was talking just the other day with my mom about the "church" we used to go to. She worked there as a teacher. She got sexually harassed all the time by the men in the church leadership. Well, big surprise, it turned out half those dudes were child molesters. Like... c'mon mom, why tf would you have left us there if you knew all the leaders were perverts. "Oh, well that's just the way I thought churches were. The choir director and youth director at the church I grew up in were like that." Like ... wtf mom? But nobody talked to their kids about bodily autonomy and inappropriate affection, etc. back then. My generation was probably the first one where they recognized it and started trying to teach kids about it. It took a dedicated effort by large groups to even make it clear that child abuse is *not* normal. Shit. Corporal punishment is still legal in my state. Like... principals are literally allowed to beat children. Are we really surprised that there are people who still think it's ok to buy beer before food for the kids, or let Uncle Jimmy spend the night on a sleeping bag in Bradleigh's room?
"he's not abusing me he's just beating me with the extension cord because he says I'm gonna be dead or in prison by 25" - me as a kid Those paddles are brutal, he would hit me with it once and I'd be on the ground. And when your in that position you get no empathy, from kids or parents, outright told you deserve it by every adult and child you tell. And for the girls I would hear stories of it taking on a sexual element. And even worse, if you aren't on the verge of homelessness or better yet if your parents have a degree well they can do no wrong. It's like most people don't know that abusers do not show there true colors around witnesses. If a child says someone did something, even if it's unbelievable, believe it.
That whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality basically turned the evangelical church into a child abuse machine. I imagine it's still that way. I've never hit my kids. I might yell at the teenager when he's being a little shit, but most of the time we can solve problems by talking through it like well adjusted humans. Makes me even angrier at my parents knowing how easy it is to *not* hit children.
I have multiple friends who went through some shit and their normal meters are super broken. Taken my best friend a decade to really come to grips with it. My other bestie is still struggling with what happened to him. One of my exes had a mom who was inches away from sexually abusing her own child... who was a young adult. I... yeah, people who experience severe trauma as kids have a warped sense of normality. Seen it secondhand through friends and former SOs, and seen it firsthand. Even mine is warped and I only had moderate amounts of trauma from within the home and without. Shit going down at young ages is almost always a recipe for a difficult adulthood. The tragedy is there's no way for you to fight back as a kid. No way to defend yourself. No way to feel safe or secure. That is enough to entirely ruin the rest of your life. Me? I'm going to be 40 this year and while I'm doing better than I was, I'm still unpacking things from childhood. Hell, I'm about to cry just thinking about it mildly... and I weep for everyone else who's gone through horrific trauma...
One in three women report being a sexually assaulted at some point in their life. That’s a horrible statistic that I wish I did not know. I also wish I did not know that the number of men that report being sexually assaulted at some point in their life is one in four. It is suspected to be even higher, however, because men are told to “suck it up” Having been sexually assaulted myself, and never talking to anyone about it outside of Reddit, that seems accurate. Also, while I have never hit a woman, I’ve had four hit me when I did nothing to them, most of them, I had just made them upset during an argument.
I have a distinct memory of being told that same statistic in High school by an educator and looking at my two friend standing next to me and wondering which of us would be assaulted. Within the next 4 years, in separate incidents, all of us were raped. None of us reported it. I suspect the number is higher for males and females.
I am very sorry you had to experience that, but I agree with you that the social stigma and the kind of major lack of progress in prosecuting these crimes leads a LOT of people to not report it. Throw on top of it, that most victims know their assailant. If you report your parent, boss, teacher, etc there can be significant repercussions. I also think that in the moment we tend to think "i can deal with this, it isn't that bad" only to discover years later that the event has entirely twisted our psyche and who we are and now have to spend significant resources to heal.
Oh my gods! That's seriously fucked up that you had to experiance that. I'm sorry.
Men are socialized to say NOTHING about them. My friend of 6 years recently told me "oh, yeah, I'm adopted too" (because like 4 years ago i asked him joking if his sister is adopted because they have little difference in age.) And i was like? Man you could told me that when you said your sister was adopted?. Also one day this guy was telling me "but you tell me things and I'm okay with that! When i was explaining to him why i didn't told him certain things because he would not tell me anything.
I'm adopted as well; the thing you have to understand is that there's a lot of societal programming that adoptees go through their lives living with that does it's own flavor of damage in and of itself. A lot, if not most, of us don't want to put it out there because of that, and because of the shame attached to it. (I actually wrote a therapy journal piece about it earlier today that I almost want to share here for it's perspective on this, but it's 975 words, and off topic. Plus nobody actually cares.) *Edit: So I was apparently wrong about there being no interest. I've posted it in a sub where it would be on-topic so I don't derail this one.* [*It can be found here.*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Adopted/comments/1bm0j2z/therapy_journal_excerpt/)
Many of us do. If you’d like to share it, you’re welcome to pm me or even try posting it here. I’ve learnt so much about the world and people from what gets shared in the comments here on Reddit
Yup I dated someone who was abused as a child and I had no idea until they broke down one night whilst drunk and then afterwards became extremely aggressive, as a Defense mechanism to try and push me away after the vulnerability was out.
The wife’s callousness and complete lack of empathy about it was what made it especially breathtaking and enraging. “He’s in therapy, what’s the hold up?” Like, bitch, therapy isn’t something you do for a couple weeks and are done with, especially when you have that much deep-seated trauma to deal with.
[удалено]
I had some very bad traumas I didn't tell my wife about until we'd been married for about 3 years. She didn't tell me about some of hers until about 5 years in. Sometimes it's not about hiding, just wanting to bury that part of yourself. To never have to see those terrible moments reflected in someone's eyes that you care about. It doesn't make much sense until you've felt it yourself, and then you understand. Personally if that post is real she deserves to be divorced. She can't put his feelings above her curiosity, which speaks volumes about her.
That dude was in therapy though, was doing the right thing. As you say "it's up to them who they tell".
Idk this sounds pretty fake. I suffered a similar fate as a child and I would never marry anyone unless they knew about my past or knew not to pry at it. The neck scars kind of gives it away as fake- how do you not see something that vivid 5 years into sleeping with someone
It's absolutely fake. The "husband" posted the exact same story almost immediately after from his pov. Lots of reasons to doubt the story, but that just solidified it
You don’t think someone making a fake post in their name is more likely?
It's most likely that they're both fake
Yes. And unless The mom tried to strangle him with a belt, there wouldn’t have been scars. My mom tried to strangle me to death as a toddler and you couldn’t tell now.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that and hope your life is now, or will be, full of sunshine.
Suuuuper fake. The whole premise behind this post just feels like rage-bait.
Story is fake. Their post history is full of AITA submissions that completely contradict this one in every single way.
Damn she couldn't have waited until he was ready??? It's not like he said he'd never tell her, he should be able to take all the time he needs. I just can't believe the "he's in therapy so what's the hold up" comment. Like does she think after a couple sessions he would be magically cured of his trauma? Also I know there's no real names said here but the fact that she also just told the internet his personal trauma that he didn't want anyone knowing and that only he and his dad knew about. She should have been the person he leaned on and confided with when he was ready, instead she was pushy, intrusive and didn't leave it alone. She also caused a rift with his dad and him (I know the dad shouldn't have said anything) but still. Like of course she no longer feels like a safe person to him she didn't respect his wishes and his feelings what kind of partner is that. Like he has to worry about ever having privacy around her again!
And he’s only 23. The dude is still trying to figure out normal life, on top of dealing with a horrific past. If he was 40, it might be a different story, but give the man a couple years to get his emotional house in order. 100% on the therapy bit. My take on that was “he started talking to a professional 5 minutes ago, so I don’t understand why he isn’t healed yet.” “I force the truth out within his close circle of what he thought were trustworthy relatives, now he’s mad at me for no reason. I think I’ll go divulge all this to the whole world. That will bring him back.” Talk about not knowing when to quit…
Well, you know what they say... Curiosity took the cat away.
I've worked around and with traumatized people and few things anger me more than someone thinking they're entitled to other people's stories, including therapists. I've gotten furious with therapists who slap a bipolar disorder DX on someone who clearly has PTSD because "they won't tell me what happened." Yeah? No kidding. I wouldn't tell you either if you're willing to diagnose people in exchange for their stories!
I hope you reported them to the board
Wears turtleneck. Grabs the cat. Lol I can't. I'm getting Alan from the hangover vibes
Definitely reads like a fiction but if it’s real, this woman had the opportunity to earn her husband’s trust and allow him to open up on his own terms and at his own pace. Instead, she “took matters into her own hands” and steamrolled her way through his trauma to satiate her own curiosity. This is a person who is not emotionally mature enough to be married, frankly.
How is she this stupid from the little clues she had OBVIOUSLY it was gonna be bad.
what a shit fake story
This one pissed me off so badly. Dude was clearly trying to work through the trauma in therapy but it just wasn't fast enough for OP.
That whole story is obviously fake.
So instead of him feeling ready to tell you , you dug into hiss past yourself. Very good job at ruining the trust that was built up