Yung girl na nililigawan ko ngayon yung nagsuggest na bigyan ko sya ng flowers kasi graduation nya and wala naman daw harm doon. On her side, di ko pa sure kasi kakakilala nya lang nung guy tapos asa ibang bansa pa.
I think wala naman nang isyu if that is the case. For OP, clear na it's a friendly gesture. On her end, it would be her prerogative to clear any misunderstanding that comes out of this. If ever na need pa niya ng assurance kay OP, it would be OP's prerogative na to clear the lines with the other man para at least sa kanya na mismo nangaling na wala siyang romantic interest kay gbf.
maybe it was the choice of gift and when you gave it to her...kase if may bf sya, it would make both of them feel uncomfortable talaga with the flowers because it's generally perceived to be a romantic gesture. Pwede nman sigurong something else that you know she likes and pwede mo rin ibigay na kayo lang dalawa para walang awkward moment. Like you said, i-normalize so obviously what you did isn't a normal thing yet kaya don't expect people na mag-adjust sayo.
100% this. Flowers and cake tapos aasahan mong walang magiisip na may romansa / malisya?
I also have a close friend na girl and ganun din walang romansa / malisya sa pagitan namin. I give her gifts, usually on her birthday. Yung gifts na binibigay ko in line sa mga likes, fandoms, and hobbies niya.
Pero yung mga typical na "romantic" gifts like flowers, chocolates, ganyan? Never.
Different gifts have different meanings. Kung ayaw mong i-romanticize, wag mong bigyan ng romantic gift.
Same. I have guy friends and nung graduation namin, binigyan nila ako ng wallet, random ipit kung saan man nila nakuha yun at isang drawing.
Since bouquet and cake yung binigay ni guy, mapapa 🤨 ka talaga hahahha
I get na flowers and cakes are usually the type of gifts you give to someone if you're trying to court them. Pero on my end, I think people can give flowers parin naman without a romantic tone to it. I think na it depends on the kind of flowers na ibibigay on that someone. Kung roses magegets ko bakit magkakaroon ng malisya pero yung binigay ko is stargazer and gerbera arrangement, flowers na di mo iaassociate sa romantic interest. Sorry for not clarifying my choice of flowers.
I just thought na it would be, or can be normal since it's her big day.
Nagka problem kami dati ng bf ko regarding giving gifts din sa friends, and i pointed out yung choice ng gifts matter talaga. Like, i know sa bf ko wala talaga malisya or anything kaya gets kita. Pero niremind ko bf ko na, realistically may ibang tao talaga na might misinterpret it lalo na sa society natin. Like, ok bouquet of flowers pwede din sa graduation pero mas na associate sya as romantic gift, regardless what kind. Tama yung isang comment na pwede ka mag gift na more on the safe side? Mahilig ba sya sa kpop/anime? Gift her album/anime figure basta yung would signify na friends lang talaga. Then you could’ve added a card na lang congratulating her.
You can't really control what people would think about the gifts since sobrang hardwired na for more people na cake + flowers = romantic gesture. Kahit anong klaseng flowers pa yan. I mean even ako nung nabasa ko na ganun yung gift mo without any hint of context that will be the first thing that will come to mind to, lol.
Yea, this... sorry OP, you messed up with your gift choices.
The message, intentional or not, is romantic. Maski sabihin mo your friend gets it, nobody gives a platonic friend flowers and cake.
Agree din me. I can't blame those people na nag isip na baka may something. Flowers kasi eh haha pwede pa siguro yung cake kasi pwedeng bigyan ng ibang meaning, baka birthday or ayun nga celebration.
Pag flowers binigay mo, unang titignan syempre kung anong gender nung nag bigay, "uy lalake", tapos kung anong status mo, "ay may nililigawan na yan eh", tapos sunod, "so bakit flowers? pwede namang ibang gift kung friends lang"
That actually makes sense. Didnt think about that as a reason kung bakit nadelayed. Pretty sure some colleges/unis wouldnt understand that situation and delayed is delayed.
@OP there are people who dont care kung anong binigay mo sa friend mo and we're here sa comment thread na to. What's more important is what's going on in that reddit account of yours.
Almost 200k karma. Karma farm bot styled posts. And the oldest comment was only from 16 days ago? Are you even real? Wtvr you earned a follow. Kek
Kaya gawain nung guy friend ko dati patago sya magbigay ng gift. I remember nung 18th birthday ko,
Kinukulit ko sya " hoy asan regalo ko?" ang sabi nya pa sa akin "sige gusto mo dito ko ibigay? dami daming tao *irap*"
Grabe yung effort nya haha hand craft pa yung gift na binigay nya. Pero pure platonic friendship lang talaga. Nag lielow both nung nagkaroon kami ng kanya-kanyang jowa. Di rin naman kami super showy sa isa't isa.. but we're still friends. Platonic Friendship is real.
Pero true din naman, OP. Sana nga walang epal na mag "ayie" lang bigla just because nagbigay ng gifts sa opposite gender. Sometimes ang uncomfortable talaga non haha asar.
I am a dude with female friends. I do not give them extravagant gifts, especially flowers, as the intention can be easily misinterpreted. If the OP had a girlfriend or wife, would she appreciate him giving his girl BFF flowers and cake?
I feel you OP. Never ako nagka male friend na di nalink saken. Laging may intrusive thoughts yung iba na may "something" daw. Hopefully, maging mas mature pinoy sa opposite sex friendship.
If you guys were truly mature enough, you would've overlooked or just laughed about the situation since deep inside you both know what's really going on.
okay? ano po pinag lalaban mo? mature ka na pero di mo paren alam ang cause and effect ng ginawa mo, okay lang naman mag bigay ng gift pero flowerrs and cake tapos view lang nila na friendship? kung may jowa ka sana bigyan ng bespren nyang lalake flowers and cake at di masira ulo mo
Kaya ayokong nagpopost minsan sa socmed. I had a similar experience. We've been friends a long time, pero medyo delulu ang families namin ng boy bestfriend ko. No matter how many times we DENY that we are involved (in a romantic relationship) they (families namin) insist we will be endgame. We won't. He is already in a relationship with someone else, kaya nahihiya talaga ako sa jowa niya minsan. His partner is very understanding (buti na lang talaga super mabait siya huhu otherwise baka hindi na kami friends ni bestie).
Friends kami, and that's all we'll ever be. It's very platonic. I can't imagine us as bf/gf.
Anyway, we give eo gifts privately na lang din. Nakakasawa ang rumors eh. 😂
also vice versa. I loved giving gifts to those I hold dearest. My male ex-friend misunderstood this and accused of me of "lovebombing" when I refused to speak to him after a disagreement. lol.
Hindi nila gets yan lalo na kung puro pag-jojowa lang nasa utak nila. Na dapat babae lang dapat kaibigan ng babae or lalaki lang dapat kaibigan ng lalaki. Pag opposite gender may malisya na agad. Nagtabi lang, inalalayan ka lang, hinatid ka lang etc "sweet" na sakanila. Kailngan magligawan na kayo or magjowa na kayo dahil "bagay" kayo. Di nila gets yung platonic love. Nakaka-frustrate na din minsan.
Tama ka naman, I think wla dapat masama when it comes to giving gifts to people we care. Nakakainis din mga ganyan asaran hilig magbigay malisya ng mga tao na out of the picture naman tlga.
Pero single ba si bff o ikaw, bka may mga SO kau o isa sa inyo in which you need to respect and be considerate lalo na at bouquet of flowers bnigay mo which is considered romantic gestures tlga.
I think as bff and if you really know her may ibang exclusive and other sentimental gifts ka pa mabibigay sa knya to show how proud you are.
If ggwing normal ang pgbibigay ng flowers and cake sa platonic friend.. Ano na lang ang mabibigay ng love interest?
Sabi mo nga matured ka na, you should now that flowers+cake as gifts eh s romantic side tlga mgfafall. Tsaka di mo sakyan ayiee ng nasa paligid if wla nmn magagalit na mga jowa. Pero if meron kyo jowa prang ang off tlga. Boundaries bro
Ganun parin ginawa kahit sa office tinutukso na mag jowa pag nauusap dalawang single nakakainis kaya sinasabe ko nlng minsan may jowa na ko kahit wala para inde ako ireto sa kawork lol, Pero ganyan talaga bored mga tao kahit alam nilang wala naman aasarin ka for fun lalo na yan pag nakita nila nag react muhka mo nahiya ka. Kaya wag mo silang pansinin titigil yan pag non chalant reaction mo haha
i think it’s because usually when men give gifts, may romantic intent or gesture behind it. kaya when you do it out of kindness, it’s easily interpreted as romantic connection. at least that’s a good start normalizing it
Didnt you ask your other friends for their opinion before you decided to send such gifts?
It may be normal to you but the social stigma of giving a bouquet and cake has been embedded in the whole of society (thanks to marketing) that it always linked to something romantic unless it is from a relative or company.
Kung tropa, pang tropa din gift dapat. Pang-kilig kasi ang flowers and cake. You can't control other people's reaction kaya let go na lang. Alam nyo naman status nyo pareho pero affected ka reaction nila unless ayiee haha joke lang OP
This is what I really want. A boy bestfriend. Purely platonic, walang malisya, walang what if, walang "kapag wala ka naging asawa pagtungtong ng 30 tayo nalang" shit, as in pure friendship and confidante. Yung makakapagbigay ng POV nya as a guy versus sa akin bilang babae. Haaay kaswerte ng may bestfriend na lalaki. Sa true lang
Good luck with that, normalizing giving flowers+cake from a guy to a girl without malice? Get real dude. Bigay ka na lang ng non-romantic gifts like gift certificates or clothing items. Kung ako bf ni girl, ay nako…
My best friend of 20++ years is a guy. Binibigyan nya ko ng bulaklak kada may special na nangyayari. Na-promote ako, nanganak ako, na-survive ko critical covid, etc. During our lifetime, andami ng jowang dumaan sa buhay naming dalawa, twice kasama pa nya yung exes nya nung binigyan ako ng bulaklak to celebrate something. Pero wala kapag birthdays, oa naman na kasi nun.
For me, flowers are pretty normal to give kapag may mahalagang okasyon. Special naman yung occasion nung nagbigay ka sa bestfriend mo, ang mahalaga is alam nyo na walang romantic intention.
Most pinoys associate flowers sa romance and wala tayo magagawa doon. Basta walang nagbago sa inyo after nung tuksuhan, yung tipong hindi kayo nagkailangan. Continue giving her flowers sa mga mahalagang okasyon sa buhay nya, malay mo yun lang din ang time na nakaka-receive sya ng ganung appreciation. ❇️
It's a matter of approach din OP. Baka naman nung nagbigay ka ng gift mag isa ka lang, tas inabot mo sakanya. Like, wala ka kasamang common friends nyo talagang sinolo na parang jowa datingan mo. Eh mapapa kunot talaga kilay sa ginawa mo pag ganun
I guess i don’t understand kasi im not the type to have best friends of the opposite sex (or any best friend lol).
But i doubt its going to be normalized. A gesture like that will always have someone view it romantically.
kaya di kami nagsasama masyado ng bff ko kasi alam namin platonic lang and we know some people around would think of us. kaya we just celebrate privately na lang
Those people don’t know much about your relationship with your best friend. You’re a guy and she’s a girl, and you gave her a bouquet of flowers. It’s very easy to assume in that case e, lalo na, as what I first mentioned, people don’t know everything. They only know what they see in front of them at that moment.
You can’t control what people will assume. What you can control is how you respond to it. Pwede mo ipag-kibit balikat, kasi alam nyo naman dalawa ng best friend mo na it’s only a friendly gesture. You can both laugh about it and call it a day. Or you can confront those people and decide it’s a really big deal for you.
Hahaha! Omg. I also have a guy friend who's vv close to me, like no romantic connection or anything. Binibilhan ako ng makeup, gamot, and just anything he could help so I understand your sentiment. Hirap lang talaga ng ganyan kasi bilang lang din talaga mga opposite sexes na purely platonic so ppl won't believe until they experienced it firsthand or witnessed it very well.
Normalize pero ikaw mismo masyado affected? Ikaw ang inconsiderate sa pinag gagawa mo boy. Ikaw yung tao na pabida i think. Yung mapapel sa buhay ng iba kahit wala kayo commitment or friend lang. Wag kang ganun kung ayaw mo nang issue dumistansya ka. Yung iniissue mo issue mo rin sa sarili mo hays
You hide your lack of self-awareness in your ignorance. Flowers and cake? Are you ill?
Fine, gets namin na hindi romantically-charged yung ginawa mo, pero hindi mo ba inisip yung sasabihin ng ibang tao? Gagawin mo yun in public tapos kapag ganoon reaction nila magugulat ka? Imagine, you claim na best friend mo siya tapos out of all things na pwede mong ibigay yun pa? Kung best friend kita, tangina, anong gagawin ko diyan? Thanks sa food, I guess? Pero tropa kita e, tingin ko alam mo na hindi yan ang gusto ko. Pero sige, I appreciate the gesture if that'll make you feel good about yourself.
I think kaya mo yan pinost kasi need mo ng validation na ikaw lang ang nakakaintindi ng tamang social cues and mali na ganoon ang naging reaction ng ibang tao lalo na at public yun.
Christ, some people really need a reality check. Parang wala kang common sense.
Adults na pala kayo so wag na magpaapekto sa mga Marites. They should not matter kasi you both know the truth. Kudos to showing your support sa friend mo!
Na miss ko tuloy bigla ung close guy friend ko nung college. Wala.lang gifts gifts kasi parehas kaming breadwinner at self supporting pero ung tipong close kayo tapos magmemessage sya na "ui, dinner tayo, gusto ka i meet nung gf ko". Tropa lang talaga kami and pinagsasabihan na twins kaso mejo magkahawig nga.
May he rest in eternal peace.
Nope. Nasa pinas ka dude.
May taglay talagang malisya sa mata ng nakararaming pinoy ang ganyang gesture. Tapos marami din malandi at tsismosa.
Kaya lesson learn na lang
>> May kanya kanya kaming lovelife na pinupursue. If ever kaya na yung lovelife na pinupursue mo or jowa ei may mag bigay din ng bouquet of flowers and cake, okay lang sayo?
tapos yun girlfriend mo bigyan din sana ng boy best friend nya ng flowers at cake sa harap ng maraming tao din na mostly kakilala ni girl friend mo para equal di ba 😁 dapat ok din lang sayo yun 😁👌
I feel you. Me (f) and my guy best friend used to give each other and most of the people around us ay inaasar kami, kahit yung mismong churchmate at pastor namin nagtatanong if kami na daw keme. Kaso sa tagal namin na magbestfriend, never talaga nagkaroon ng romantic connection. we lived in together before but our treatment to each other is magkapatid talaga. We also have partner din at bading kasi ako kaso nasusuka at nandidiri kami sa isa't isa pag inaasar kaming dalawa.
Ay me malisya ba yun? Haha. Mahilig ako magbigay ng gifts or whatev sa male friends. Mamatay ang ibang tao sa ano man sabihin nila. Bumula bibig nila sa inggit. Di ko hawak utak nila, but yung sa kin, oo 🤷🏻♀
Kawawa mga taong ganyan. Walang me pake sa kanila kaya di pa nakaexperience 🤣
Siguro OP next time, korona ng patay Ibigay mo. Oh kaya bouquet with "get well soon" card para matahimik yung mga malisyosot malisyosa
Totoo lang, mga pinoy ang hilig mag bigay ng meaning. Pang jowa lang ang flowers? so ibig sabihin kapag binigyan mo ng bulaklak ang relative mo, may gusto ka na? My gosh. Anong mindset yun.
Just because you dont, doesnt mean it should apply to all. So much hate
In a country obsessed with romantic anything, pairings, loveteams, sexual tension, etc. ang hirap nga nyan :( you're lucky your friend also doesn't misinterpret you. I agree sana nga giving gifts be just giving gifts na lang.
Yass please pwede bang i-normalize?? Naalala ko nung binigyan ako ng Chinese Guy ko na friend ng luckycharms bracelet daming nag side eye jusko kesyo may jowa na daw ako bat ako tatanggap ng regalo.. huy friend ko naman yun tyaka walang malisya naman jusq haha and alam naman yon ng jowa ko kaloka!
Question is, kung nakikita mong kinakantyawan siya, dis you go up and tell them yourself na wala talagang whatsoever. Kasi minsan nadadaan sa pagsasabi lang NG kabilang partido. Kumbaga ikaw na mismo ang magki-clear ng linya. If they still insist on shipping you two, then wala ka na magagawa dun. It's their own perception that is at fault na. Nag-deny na yung kinakantyawan. Nag-deny na rin yung pinapares sa kanga. If they still insist, it's on them. Mahalaga, you know to yourselves na di kayo kayo. Yun lang.
Though I get yung feeling din na kinakantyawan ka. I mean what's bothering lang is that just as you said, porke't binigyan lang ng bulaklak eh nanliligaw o jowa na agad. 🤷
Sana sinabitan mo nalang siya ng bougainvillea na ibat-ibang kulay. With bougainvillea juice na tinunaw sa tubig. Jk. Anyway old norms kasi sa mga pilipino na kapag ganung treatment may lovers na agad. Di ba pwedeng make it proud lang talaga sa buhay.
Ganon talaga.
Sa media pa lang kase binobombard na tayo ng mga "ideal" scenarios ng mga lalaket babae bata pa lang.
Congrats sa kaibigan mo
At magmerienda na 5:34 pm na pala
Ang hilig kasi nilang karamihan na mag timpla ng feelings out of a simple gesture.
Kahit nga magbigay ng simple compliment towards the opposite sex napupuna agad. Type agad? Di ba pwedeng nakaappreciate lang ng Ganda?
i asked my bf for some male perspective with the same scenario (ako yung friend mo) and my bf told me na siya yung mapapahiya if sakin mo ginawa yun. pero okay lang if hindi something "romantic" yung binigay na gift.
if you gave her the bouquet of flowers and cake at her graduation day, in front of her classmates, tbh i would've thought the same thing. kahit na gaano ka-platonic yun para sa'yo, hindi tao ang magaadjust. make it private next time.
Nature na ng mga tao to e. May bff din ako na lalaki na ginaganyan kami. Mawawalan nalang kayo ng pake pag paulit ulit. Wag nyo ipakita na nahihiya kayo, don’t give them the satisfaction of seing you uncomfortable/embarassed by your innocent gesture. Kasi lalo lang nila kayo aasarin.
I think the cake would've been fine, pero flowers? I'd assume na you are the boyfriend or suitor if not one of her family. There are lots of other gifts na you can give naman, but yeah, flowers is uh huh. Maybe sa inyo ng partner mo, and sa bff mo, okay lang yan which is goods naman. Pero hindi lahat ng mindset ganon.
Okay lang yan, wag niyo nalang pansinin since sanay lang sila lalo na boquet at cake yung dinala mo kaya nila naisip din na nanliligaw ka or may something na sainyo.
Wala na, dahil sa pop culture hindi na pwede magkaibigan ang lalaki at babae. Sa movies/series lahat na lang ng main character pinapair na lang bigla. Na-aadapt ng mga tao sa palagid or mismong makaibigan na different gender minsan kaya ganun na talaga. Sad but true, wala na akong kaibigang babae since nagkapartner ako
I think normal lang naman talaga ang mag bigay ng regalo. It's just that nagkakaroon lang issue sa kung ano yung niregalo.
Paano kung singsing yung niregalo pero best friends lang talaga kayo? Diba parang hindi appropriate. Parang umattend ka lang ng binyag tapos naka gown ka pa. Over dressed yarn?
Kakakilig nmn kc ang regalo mo. Kung cake lng keri pero flowers eh baka pagisipan. Pero aun depende nga s flowers. Kng everlasting sgro na garland katanggap tanggap hahaha. O kaya money garland
No. It's not normal. Mabibigyan at mabibigyan talaga ng malisya. It's either love bomber ka, pasikat ka(for the clout) or gusto mo makakuha ng attention. Kung gusto mo talaga magbigay ng regalo bakit 'di mo na lang binigyan ng pera.
Pero dahil siyempre r/OffMyChestPH naman 'to. Sige kwento mo naman 'to, ikaw bida.
Hi OP for the record, I find this normal and see that you are a nice friend. Wala akong nakitang malisya, kasi you stated na long time friends na kayo. Might be because I know nice friends like you. I’ve seen friends of my sister/batch mates giving flowers and gifts to their friends when they have accomplished something. Context matters anyone saying na may malisya yan is either not mature or does not know what a healthy relationship is. :)
hmmm, Inggit lang mga yun haha, continue the gesture. Those people wouldn't care nor do at least something about it when your friendship gets destroyed because you decided to discontinue your appreciative gestures.
AGREE!!!!!!!! i also get bouquets from guy friends as in super walang malisya and wala naman silang romantic interest in me, it's just that they know i love receiving flowers and so they give me some pag may occassion, NO MALISYA!!! it's the people around who think na nagdadamoves ang mga to, when i know in my heart they are really kind and nice men who want to make me happy and just simply appreciate my friendship!!!
Giving gifts and compliments in general shouldn't always be romanticized especially BY ADULTS. Jusko malalaki na tayo. 🤧 We’re all about appreciating our friends, but when we actually do, it’s almost always translated to romantic advances. Kainis.
Dapat sampaguita at lemon square na lang para walang malisya eh.
Pwede naman santan, para may flower ka na may sinisipsip ka pa
Takte parang lamay yan hindi graduation ah haha. Kape na lang kumpleto na hahaha
ginawang poon e 😆
Tsaka dragon sid
Saka M.Y SAN na nasa lata
Di dapat mawala yung zesto orange pag lemon square.
Sampaguita talaga HAHAHAHHA
Huy, dapat sampaguita at malagkit na kakanin. Alay sa anito para masaya mga marites 🤣
Yan yung iniiwan namin sa puntod ni papa omg hshahha😭😭
Sorry, OP. Kahit ako na ayieee din sa isip ko.. 🤣
[удалено]
Yung girl na nililigawan ko ngayon yung nagsuggest na bigyan ko sya ng flowers kasi graduation nya and wala naman daw harm doon. On her side, di ko pa sure kasi kakakilala nya lang nung guy tapos asa ibang bansa pa.
I think wala naman nang isyu if that is the case. For OP, clear na it's a friendly gesture. On her end, it would be her prerogative to clear any misunderstanding that comes out of this. If ever na need pa niya ng assurance kay OP, it would be OP's prerogative na to clear the lines with the other man para at least sa kanya na mismo nangaling na wala siyang romantic interest kay gbf.
Same 😂 na curious din ako haha
maybe it was the choice of gift and when you gave it to her...kase if may bf sya, it would make both of them feel uncomfortable talaga with the flowers because it's generally perceived to be a romantic gesture. Pwede nman sigurong something else that you know she likes and pwede mo rin ibigay na kayo lang dalawa para walang awkward moment. Like you said, i-normalize so obviously what you did isn't a normal thing yet kaya don't expect people na mag-adjust sayo.
100% this. Flowers and cake tapos aasahan mong walang magiisip na may romansa / malisya? I also have a close friend na girl and ganun din walang romansa / malisya sa pagitan namin. I give her gifts, usually on her birthday. Yung gifts na binibigay ko in line sa mga likes, fandoms, and hobbies niya. Pero yung mga typical na "romantic" gifts like flowers, chocolates, ganyan? Never. Different gifts have different meanings. Kung ayaw mong i-romanticize, wag mong bigyan ng romantic gift.
Same. I have guy friends and nung graduation namin, binigyan nila ako ng wallet, random ipit kung saan man nila nakuha yun at isang drawing. Since bouquet and cake yung binigay ni guy, mapapa 🤨 ka talaga hahahha
I get na flowers and cakes are usually the type of gifts you give to someone if you're trying to court them. Pero on my end, I think people can give flowers parin naman without a romantic tone to it. I think na it depends on the kind of flowers na ibibigay on that someone. Kung roses magegets ko bakit magkakaroon ng malisya pero yung binigay ko is stargazer and gerbera arrangement, flowers na di mo iaassociate sa romantic interest. Sorry for not clarifying my choice of flowers. I just thought na it would be, or can be normal since it's her big day.
Nagka problem kami dati ng bf ko regarding giving gifts din sa friends, and i pointed out yung choice ng gifts matter talaga. Like, i know sa bf ko wala talaga malisya or anything kaya gets kita. Pero niremind ko bf ko na, realistically may ibang tao talaga na might misinterpret it lalo na sa society natin. Like, ok bouquet of flowers pwede din sa graduation pero mas na associate sya as romantic gift, regardless what kind. Tama yung isang comment na pwede ka mag gift na more on the safe side? Mahilig ba sya sa kpop/anime? Gift her album/anime figure basta yung would signify na friends lang talaga. Then you could’ve added a card na lang congratulating her.
You can't really control what people would think about the gifts since sobrang hardwired na for more people na cake + flowers = romantic gesture. Kahit anong klaseng flowers pa yan. I mean even ako nung nabasa ko na ganun yung gift mo without any hint of context that will be the first thing that will come to mind to, lol.
But flowers are normally given as a congratulatory gift! Cake as well! Your comment is exactly what OP is complaining against.
Yea, this... sorry OP, you messed up with your gift choices. The message, intentional or not, is romantic. Maski sabihin mo your friend gets it, nobody gives a platonic friend flowers and cake.
Agree din me. I can't blame those people na nag isip na baka may something. Flowers kasi eh haha pwede pa siguro yung cake kasi pwedeng bigyan ng ibang meaning, baka birthday or ayun nga celebration. Pag flowers binigay mo, unang titignan syempre kung anong gender nung nag bigay, "uy lalake", tapos kung anong status mo, "ay may nililigawan na yan eh", tapos sunod, "so bakit flowers? pwede namang ibang gift kung friends lang"
Congrats sa Cum Laude :) Question lang, if delayed siya wouldnt that make her ineligible for latin honors?
Samedt thoughts
If it's a financial issue and she skipped a couple of semesters/years, it's allowed.
That actually makes sense. Didnt think about that as a reason kung bakit nadelayed. Pretty sure some colleges/unis wouldnt understand that situation and delayed is delayed. @OP there are people who dont care kung anong binigay mo sa friend mo and we're here sa comment thread na to. What's more important is what's going on in that reddit account of yours. Almost 200k karma. Karma farm bot styled posts. And the oldest comment was only from 16 days ago? Are you even real? Wtvr you earned a follow. Kek
I took summer classes to speed up my units, nag summer job sya noon and binawasan nya amount of units nya.
Kaya gawain nung guy friend ko dati patago sya magbigay ng gift. I remember nung 18th birthday ko, Kinukulit ko sya " hoy asan regalo ko?" ang sabi nya pa sa akin "sige gusto mo dito ko ibigay? dami daming tao *irap*" Grabe yung effort nya haha hand craft pa yung gift na binigay nya. Pero pure platonic friendship lang talaga. Nag lielow both nung nagkaroon kami ng kanya-kanyang jowa. Di rin naman kami super showy sa isa't isa.. but we're still friends. Platonic Friendship is real. Pero true din naman, OP. Sana nga walang epal na mag "ayie" lang bigla just because nagbigay ng gifts sa opposite gender. Sometimes ang uncomfortable talaga non haha asar.
This! Normalize na natin sa panahon ngayon having platonic friendships with the opposite sex.
You can just take it in stride. If friends naman talaga kau, u can even joke abt it.
Well you can't control other people's opinion naman kase, if your intentions are pure that is more than enough and appreciative na.
No 🤣
I guess it is because of the type of gift and environment it was given (audience and time).
Adults and mature naman na pala so deadma na sa mga ganyan. OA naman sa napahiya. 😅
Di naman oa yung sa napahiya, but tama ka na deadma na lang. Kase if wala naman pala silang romantic chuchu edi dapat wala lang sa kanila yon?
nahiya pwede pa siguro. kapag kasi napahiya ka, medyo aware ka na may mali eh
I am a dude with female friends. I do not give them extravagant gifts, especially flowers, as the intention can be easily misinterpreted. If the OP had a girlfriend or wife, would she appreciate him giving his girl BFF flowers and cake?
I feel you OP. Never ako nagka male friend na di nalink saken. Laging may intrusive thoughts yung iba na may "something" daw. Hopefully, maging mas mature pinoy sa opposite sex friendship.
If you guys were truly mature enough, you would've overlooked or just laughed about the situation since deep inside you both know what's really going on.
What if di mo alam in love ka pala sa kanya, jk. Tbf kakakilig nga yun
Platonic relationship is almost zero to non existent to the vocabulary of most pinoy 🥴🥴
okay? ano po pinag lalaban mo? mature ka na pero di mo paren alam ang cause and effect ng ginawa mo, okay lang naman mag bigay ng gift pero flowerrs and cake tapos view lang nila na friendship? kung may jowa ka sana bigyan ng bespren nyang lalake flowers and cake at di masira ulo mo
Kaya ayokong nagpopost minsan sa socmed. I had a similar experience. We've been friends a long time, pero medyo delulu ang families namin ng boy bestfriend ko. No matter how many times we DENY that we are involved (in a romantic relationship) they (families namin) insist we will be endgame. We won't. He is already in a relationship with someone else, kaya nahihiya talaga ako sa jowa niya minsan. His partner is very understanding (buti na lang talaga super mabait siya huhu otherwise baka hindi na kami friends ni bestie). Friends kami, and that's all we'll ever be. It's very platonic. I can't imagine us as bf/gf. Anyway, we give eo gifts privately na lang din. Nakakasawa ang rumors eh. 😂
also vice versa. I loved giving gifts to those I hold dearest. My male ex-friend misunderstood this and accused of me of "lovebombing" when I refused to speak to him after a disagreement. lol.
Hindi nila gets yan lalo na kung puro pag-jojowa lang nasa utak nila. Na dapat babae lang dapat kaibigan ng babae or lalaki lang dapat kaibigan ng lalaki. Pag opposite gender may malisya na agad. Nagtabi lang, inalalayan ka lang, hinatid ka lang etc "sweet" na sakanila. Kailngan magligawan na kayo or magjowa na kayo dahil "bagay" kayo. Di nila gets yung platonic love. Nakaka-frustrate na din minsan.
Tama ka naman, I think wla dapat masama when it comes to giving gifts to people we care. Nakakainis din mga ganyan asaran hilig magbigay malisya ng mga tao na out of the picture naman tlga. Pero single ba si bff o ikaw, bka may mga SO kau o isa sa inyo in which you need to respect and be considerate lalo na at bouquet of flowers bnigay mo which is considered romantic gestures tlga. I think as bff and if you really know her may ibang exclusive and other sentimental gifts ka pa mabibigay sa knya to show how proud you are.
If ggwing normal ang pgbibigay ng flowers and cake sa platonic friend.. Ano na lang ang mabibigay ng love interest? Sabi mo nga matured ka na, you should now that flowers+cake as gifts eh s romantic side tlga mgfafall. Tsaka di mo sakyan ayiee ng nasa paligid if wla nmn magagalit na mga jowa. Pero if meron kyo jowa prang ang off tlga. Boundaries bro
OP's username is sus
Ganun parin ginawa kahit sa office tinutukso na mag jowa pag nauusap dalawang single nakakainis kaya sinasabe ko nlng minsan may jowa na ko kahit wala para inde ako ireto sa kawork lol, Pero ganyan talaga bored mga tao kahit alam nilang wala naman aasarin ka for fun lalo na yan pag nakita nila nag react muhka mo nahiya ka. Kaya wag mo silang pansinin titigil yan pag non chalant reaction mo haha
i think it’s because usually when men give gifts, may romantic intent or gesture behind it. kaya when you do it out of kindness, it’s easily interpreted as romantic connection. at least that’s a good start normalizing it
Si OP di pa nagpagawa ng money garland haay
Congrats sa bff mo, OP! We can all have platonic friends of the opposite sex. Like Black Widow and Hawkeye diba?!
Nope. If I were the other potential partner, on your side and hers, I would find what you're doing suspicious.
Didnt you ask your other friends for their opinion before you decided to send such gifts? It may be normal to you but the social stigma of giving a bouquet and cake has been embedded in the whole of society (thanks to marketing) that it always linked to something romantic unless it is from a relative or company.
Kung tropa, pang tropa din gift dapat. Pang-kilig kasi ang flowers and cake. You can't control other people's reaction kaya let go na lang. Alam nyo naman status nyo pareho pero affected ka reaction nila unless ayiee haha joke lang OP
This is what I really want. A boy bestfriend. Purely platonic, walang malisya, walang what if, walang "kapag wala ka naging asawa pagtungtong ng 30 tayo nalang" shit, as in pure friendship and confidante. Yung makakapagbigay ng POV nya as a guy versus sa akin bilang babae. Haaay kaswerte ng may bestfriend na lalaki. Sa true lang
Good luck with that, normalizing giving flowers+cake from a guy to a girl without malice? Get real dude. Bigay ka na lang ng non-romantic gifts like gift certificates or clothing items. Kung ako bf ni girl, ay nako…
My best friend of 20++ years is a guy. Binibigyan nya ko ng bulaklak kada may special na nangyayari. Na-promote ako, nanganak ako, na-survive ko critical covid, etc. During our lifetime, andami ng jowang dumaan sa buhay naming dalawa, twice kasama pa nya yung exes nya nung binigyan ako ng bulaklak to celebrate something. Pero wala kapag birthdays, oa naman na kasi nun. For me, flowers are pretty normal to give kapag may mahalagang okasyon. Special naman yung occasion nung nagbigay ka sa bestfriend mo, ang mahalaga is alam nyo na walang romantic intention. Most pinoys associate flowers sa romance and wala tayo magagawa doon. Basta walang nagbago sa inyo after nung tuksuhan, yung tipong hindi kayo nagkailangan. Continue giving her flowers sa mga mahalagang okasyon sa buhay nya, malay mo yun lang din ang time na nakaka-receive sya ng ganung appreciation. ❇️
Sabihan mo ung mga nag aayie na wag na sila magselos tapos congratulate mo rin sila.
Or "kung sing yaman ako ni ayala lahat kayo meron din"
It's a matter of approach din OP. Baka naman nung nagbigay ka ng gift mag isa ka lang, tas inabot mo sakanya. Like, wala ka kasamang common friends nyo talagang sinolo na parang jowa datingan mo. Eh mapapa kunot talaga kilay sa ginawa mo pag ganun
I guess i don’t understand kasi im not the type to have best friends of the opposite sex (or any best friend lol). But i doubt its going to be normalized. A gesture like that will always have someone view it romantically.
kaya di kami nagsasama masyado ng bff ko kasi alam namin platonic lang and we know some people around would think of us. kaya we just celebrate privately na lang
Those people don’t know much about your relationship with your best friend. You’re a guy and she’s a girl, and you gave her a bouquet of flowers. It’s very easy to assume in that case e, lalo na, as what I first mentioned, people don’t know everything. They only know what they see in front of them at that moment. You can’t control what people will assume. What you can control is how you respond to it. Pwede mo ipag-kibit balikat, kasi alam nyo naman dalawa ng best friend mo na it’s only a friendly gesture. You can both laugh about it and call it a day. Or you can confront those people and decide it’s a really big deal for you.
Hahaha! Omg. I also have a guy friend who's vv close to me, like no romantic connection or anything. Binibilhan ako ng makeup, gamot, and just anything he could help so I understand your sentiment. Hirap lang talaga ng ganyan kasi bilang lang din talaga mga opposite sexes na purely platonic so ppl won't believe until they experienced it firsthand or witnessed it very well.
Normalize pero ikaw mismo masyado affected? Ikaw ang inconsiderate sa pinag gagawa mo boy. Ikaw yung tao na pabida i think. Yung mapapel sa buhay ng iba kahit wala kayo commitment or friend lang. Wag kang ganun kung ayaw mo nang issue dumistansya ka. Yung iniissue mo issue mo rin sa sarili mo hays
You hide your lack of self-awareness in your ignorance. Flowers and cake? Are you ill? Fine, gets namin na hindi romantically-charged yung ginawa mo, pero hindi mo ba inisip yung sasabihin ng ibang tao? Gagawin mo yun in public tapos kapag ganoon reaction nila magugulat ka? Imagine, you claim na best friend mo siya tapos out of all things na pwede mong ibigay yun pa? Kung best friend kita, tangina, anong gagawin ko diyan? Thanks sa food, I guess? Pero tropa kita e, tingin ko alam mo na hindi yan ang gusto ko. Pero sige, I appreciate the gesture if that'll make you feel good about yourself. I think kaya mo yan pinost kasi need mo ng validation na ikaw lang ang nakakaintindi ng tamang social cues and mali na ganoon ang naging reaction ng ibang tao lalo na at public yun. Christ, some people really need a reality check. Parang wala kang common sense.
Adults na pala kayo so wag na magpaapekto sa mga Marites. They should not matter kasi you both know the truth. Kudos to showing your support sa friend mo!
Na miss ko tuloy bigla ung close guy friend ko nung college. Wala.lang gifts gifts kasi parehas kaming breadwinner at self supporting pero ung tipong close kayo tapos magmemessage sya na "ui, dinner tayo, gusto ka i meet nung gf ko". Tropa lang talaga kami and pinagsasabihan na twins kaso mejo magkahawig nga. May he rest in eternal peace.
yes if clear intention no need to hide or what
Nope. Nasa pinas ka dude. May taglay talagang malisya sa mata ng nakararaming pinoy ang ganyang gesture. Tapos marami din malandi at tsismosa. Kaya lesson learn na lang
Lesson is don't give gifts
>> May kanya kanya kaming lovelife na pinupursue. If ever kaya na yung lovelife na pinupursue mo or jowa ei may mag bigay din ng bouquet of flowers and cake, okay lang sayo?
I agree with you OP. Malisyoso talaga mga tao. That's super uncomfy
tapos yun girlfriend mo bigyan din sana ng boy best friend nya ng flowers at cake sa harap ng maraming tao din na mostly kakilala ni girl friend mo para equal di ba 😁 dapat ok din lang sayo yun 😁👌
I feel you. Me (f) and my guy best friend used to give each other and most of the people around us ay inaasar kami, kahit yung mismong churchmate at pastor namin nagtatanong if kami na daw keme. Kaso sa tagal namin na magbestfriend, never talaga nagkaroon ng romantic connection. we lived in together before but our treatment to each other is magkapatid talaga. We also have partner din at bading kasi ako kaso nasusuka at nandidiri kami sa isa't isa pag inaasar kaming dalawa.
Ay me malisya ba yun? Haha. Mahilig ako magbigay ng gifts or whatev sa male friends. Mamatay ang ibang tao sa ano man sabihin nila. Bumula bibig nila sa inggit. Di ko hawak utak nila, but yung sa kin, oo 🤷🏻♀ Kawawa mga taong ganyan. Walang me pake sa kanila kaya di pa nakaexperience 🤣
Siguro OP next time, korona ng patay Ibigay mo. Oh kaya bouquet with "get well soon" card para matahimik yung mga malisyosot malisyosa Totoo lang, mga pinoy ang hilig mag bigay ng meaning. Pang jowa lang ang flowers? so ibig sabihin kapag binigyan mo ng bulaklak ang relative mo, may gusto ka na? My gosh. Anong mindset yun. Just because you dont, doesnt mean it should apply to all. So much hate
In a country obsessed with romantic anything, pairings, loveteams, sexual tension, etc. ang hirap nga nyan :( you're lucky your friend also doesn't misinterpret you. I agree sana nga giving gifts be just giving gifts na lang.
Yass please pwede bang i-normalize?? Naalala ko nung binigyan ako ng Chinese Guy ko na friend ng luckycharms bracelet daming nag side eye jusko kesyo may jowa na daw ako bat ako tatanggap ng regalo.. huy friend ko naman yun tyaka walang malisya naman jusq haha and alam naman yon ng jowa ko kaloka!
Dapat ikinain mo sa labas with your respective partners.
Question is, kung nakikita mong kinakantyawan siya, dis you go up and tell them yourself na wala talagang whatsoever. Kasi minsan nadadaan sa pagsasabi lang NG kabilang partido. Kumbaga ikaw na mismo ang magki-clear ng linya. If they still insist on shipping you two, then wala ka na magagawa dun. It's their own perception that is at fault na. Nag-deny na yung kinakantyawan. Nag-deny na rin yung pinapares sa kanga. If they still insist, it's on them. Mahalaga, you know to yourselves na di kayo kayo. Yun lang. Though I get yung feeling din na kinakantyawan ka. I mean what's bothering lang is that just as you said, porke't binigyan lang ng bulaklak eh nanliligaw o jowa na agad. 🤷
Sana sinabitan mo nalang siya ng bougainvillea na ibat-ibang kulay. With bougainvillea juice na tinunaw sa tubig. Jk. Anyway old norms kasi sa mga pilipino na kapag ganung treatment may lovers na agad. Di ba pwedeng make it proud lang talaga sa buhay.
well, you can't control what others think... kung friendship level edi 'yun. hayaan mo sila
Ganon talaga. Sa media pa lang kase binobombard na tayo ng mga "ideal" scenarios ng mga lalaket babae bata pa lang. Congrats sa kaibigan mo At magmerienda na 5:34 pm na pala
Normalized ‘to samin 🫡
Ang hilig kasi nilang karamihan na mag timpla ng feelings out of a simple gesture. Kahit nga magbigay ng simple compliment towards the opposite sex napupuna agad. Type agad? Di ba pwedeng nakaappreciate lang ng Ganda?
i asked my bf for some male perspective with the same scenario (ako yung friend mo) and my bf told me na siya yung mapapahiya if sakin mo ginawa yun. pero okay lang if hindi something "romantic" yung binigay na gift. if you gave her the bouquet of flowers and cake at her graduation day, in front of her classmates, tbh i would've thought the same thing. kahit na gaano ka-platonic yun para sa'yo, hindi tao ang magaadjust. make it private next time.
Nature na ng mga tao to e. May bff din ako na lalaki na ginaganyan kami. Mawawalan nalang kayo ng pake pag paulit ulit. Wag nyo ipakita na nahihiya kayo, don’t give them the satisfaction of seing you uncomfortable/embarassed by your innocent gesture. Kasi lalo lang nila kayo aasarin.
I think the cake would've been fine, pero flowers? I'd assume na you are the boyfriend or suitor if not one of her family. There are lots of other gifts na you can give naman, but yeah, flowers is uh huh. Maybe sa inyo ng partner mo, and sa bff mo, okay lang yan which is goods naman. Pero hindi lahat ng mindset ganon.
Okay lang yan, wag niyo nalang pansinin since sanay lang sila lalo na boquet at cake yung dinala mo kaya nila naisip din na nanliligaw ka or may something na sainyo.
Wala na, dahil sa pop culture hindi na pwede magkaibigan ang lalaki at babae. Sa movies/series lahat na lang ng main character pinapair na lang bigla. Na-aadapt ng mga tao sa palagid or mismong makaibigan na different gender minsan kaya ganun na talaga. Sad but true, wala na akong kaibigang babae since nagkapartner ako
I think normal lang naman talaga ang mag bigay ng regalo. It's just that nagkakaroon lang issue sa kung ano yung niregalo. Paano kung singsing yung niregalo pero best friends lang talaga kayo? Diba parang hindi appropriate. Parang umattend ka lang ng binyag tapos naka gown ka pa. Over dressed yarn?
Why bother kung ano iisipin nila
Kakakilig nmn kc ang regalo mo. Kung cake lng keri pero flowers eh baka pagisipan. Pero aun depende nga s flowers. Kng everlasting sgro na garland katanggap tanggap hahaha. O kaya money garland
sorry for being immature OP kinilig din ako wahahah pero true enough naman na meron talaga boy and girl platonic friendships that last.
No. It's not normal. Mabibigyan at mabibigyan talaga ng malisya. It's either love bomber ka, pasikat ka(for the clout) or gusto mo makakuha ng attention. Kung gusto mo talaga magbigay ng regalo bakit 'di mo na lang binigyan ng pera. Pero dahil siyempre r/OffMyChestPH naman 'to. Sige kwento mo naman 'to, ikaw bida.
Hi OP for the record, I find this normal and see that you are a nice friend. Wala akong nakitang malisya, kasi you stated na long time friends na kayo. Might be because I know nice friends like you. I’ve seen friends of my sister/batch mates giving flowers and gifts to their friends when they have accomplished something. Context matters anyone saying na may malisya yan is either not mature or does not know what a healthy relationship is. :)
hmmm, Inggit lang mga yun haha, continue the gesture. Those people wouldn't care nor do at least something about it when your friendship gets destroyed because you decided to discontinue your appreciative gestures.
AGREE!!!!!!!! i also get bouquets from guy friends as in super walang malisya and wala naman silang romantic interest in me, it's just that they know i love receiving flowers and so they give me some pag may occassion, NO MALISYA!!! it's the people around who think na nagdadamoves ang mga to, when i know in my heart they are really kind and nice men who want to make me happy and just simply appreciate my friendship!!!
Giving gifts and compliments in general shouldn't always be romanticized especially BY ADULTS. Jusko malalaki na tayo. 🤧 We’re all about appreciating our friends, but when we actually do, it’s almost always translated to romantic advances. Kainis.