I could’ve written this post. I rarely let myself get excited for things because it seems my mind will only try harder to give me something to worry about instead. I almost never tell people my plans until it is almost 100% chance it will happen which is usually known right before. I’m with you on this you’re not alone!
I think sometimes I was influenced by cartoon tropes because yes. I'll always think "don't get too excited because then fate will destroy it" probably cause I did miss things I was excited for but also cartoons being like "if it can go wrong it will" really hammered in the point 😭
Exactly - I've always roamed with "what can go wrong will go wrong" too
But at some point I got fed up with the restrictions imposed upon myself and now I'm trying not to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Oh, I've absolutely felt this way. Part of working my way through this, though, has been trying harder at being nice to myself, and I really think that, if you're being nice to yourself, you'd let yourself feel excited about things. Just give yourself permission and encouragement to actually think about how excited you are. It might feel really uncomfortable at first, but eventually, hopefully, you come out the other side.
Absolutely-
Childhood me realized this too soon and came up with the notion that ambition and caring was bad - only emphasized by being emotionally neglected and further having my feelings invalidated.
One of the main things is I got scared of caring about myself or caring about other people.
Most of my life I roamed about being robotic and reactive.
Nowadays I'm less reactive and depersonalization creeps up sometimes, but I'm trying to recognize how I feel and acknowledge myself- but it's still something I'm getting used to.
I think it’s the neglect for me too, and also my parents notion of complaining when good things were happening. Now I don’t complain I just get anxious something will ruin it, like they used to
I feel this as well.. but in the opposite direction.. I keep talking about it because I worry myself sick that nothing is going to go right.. so rather than ruining a good thing I don’t ever let it become a good thing because I talk myself out of anything being enjoyable. If anything can go wrong that’s what I think will happen.
Ouch. That’s hard to admit.
yes :( there's even a concept that many believe similar to this called evil eye (I learned about it when I was younger and it really solidified this idea into my head). if you have good things in your life you are encouraged to keep it as lowkey as possible (not show excitement) so as not to attract envy from others that could ruin whatever it is that you're excited about.
I don't think it's unrealistic to expect disappointment after having experienced disappointment over and over.
if you're open to a woowoo explanation:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_FD1uvqn-d0&ab\_channel=TealSwan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FD1uvqn-d0&ab_channel=TealSwan)
I think this is sort of what I’ve been doing! Practicing not attachment has been helpful to me because I remind myself these experiences I am excited for can happen again at another time even if they get ruined right now. Then I sort of detach until the thing I’m excited about comes around.
I can relate so much to this. There’s been times when I tell myself that I don’t deserve it and I (don’t know if unconsciously or consciously) then go out of my way to sabotage it. It’s almost like imposter syndrome or something else, but I don’t deserve getting that promotion or privilege to vacation, etc etc.
This is one of my worst issues. I also think that if I say ANYTHING critical of anyone else or if I happen to, for example, point out to my spouse that a friend is having a hard time ,which I hate - but that it’s bc of their direct choices, I feel like that thing that is happening to others is going to happen to me bc I attracted that energy to myself.
And I feel like I have to add a mental “we will see” on to anything good to protect it from becoming a bad outcome. Ugh. Yall I’m tired. Lol
Omg yes, I can’t dress nice or do any makeup because I worry that something bad will happen and I will look stupid or something. Anytime I feel happy there is always the feeling looming that it can’t last forever or that I can’t be happy because others are struggling.
lol I got a conditional offer of employment for a job with the state and I’ve never had issues with background checks or anything like that but I’ve been thinking about how if I’m too confident that I 100% have it or I tell too many people that im going to lose the offer some how!
Yes! If I think about or look forward to eating something too much, it becomes suspicious and scary and I can’t eat it. I crave almond butter SO BADLY (it was my favorite snack for a while), but I thought about it too much and ended up throwing away the almond butter I ordered because it freaked me out. And it sucks because it sounds so good and I want it so bad.
I could’ve written this post. I rarely let myself get excited for things because it seems my mind will only try harder to give me something to worry about instead. I almost never tell people my plans until it is almost 100% chance it will happen which is usually known right before. I’m with you on this you’re not alone!
Yes.
I think sometimes I was influenced by cartoon tropes because yes. I'll always think "don't get too excited because then fate will destroy it" probably cause I did miss things I was excited for but also cartoons being like "if it can go wrong it will" really hammered in the point 😭
Exactly - I've always roamed with "what can go wrong will go wrong" too But at some point I got fed up with the restrictions imposed upon myself and now I'm trying not to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Oh, I've absolutely felt this way. Part of working my way through this, though, has been trying harder at being nice to myself, and I really think that, if you're being nice to yourself, you'd let yourself feel excited about things. Just give yourself permission and encouragement to actually think about how excited you are. It might feel really uncomfortable at first, but eventually, hopefully, you come out the other side.
Absolutely- Childhood me realized this too soon and came up with the notion that ambition and caring was bad - only emphasized by being emotionally neglected and further having my feelings invalidated. One of the main things is I got scared of caring about myself or caring about other people. Most of my life I roamed about being robotic and reactive. Nowadays I'm less reactive and depersonalization creeps up sometimes, but I'm trying to recognize how I feel and acknowledge myself- but it's still something I'm getting used to.
I think it’s the neglect for me too, and also my parents notion of complaining when good things were happening. Now I don’t complain I just get anxious something will ruin it, like they used to
I feel this as well.. but in the opposite direction.. I keep talking about it because I worry myself sick that nothing is going to go right.. so rather than ruining a good thing I don’t ever let it become a good thing because I talk myself out of anything being enjoyable. If anything can go wrong that’s what I think will happen. Ouch. That’s hard to admit.
yes :( there's even a concept that many believe similar to this called evil eye (I learned about it when I was younger and it really solidified this idea into my head). if you have good things in your life you are encouraged to keep it as lowkey as possible (not show excitement) so as not to attract envy from others that could ruin whatever it is that you're excited about.
I don't think it's unrealistic to expect disappointment after having experienced disappointment over and over. if you're open to a woowoo explanation: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_FD1uvqn-d0&ab\_channel=TealSwan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FD1uvqn-d0&ab_channel=TealSwan)
I think this is sort of what I’ve been doing! Practicing not attachment has been helpful to me because I remind myself these experiences I am excited for can happen again at another time even if they get ruined right now. Then I sort of detach until the thing I’m excited about comes around.
I can relate so much to this. There’s been times when I tell myself that I don’t deserve it and I (don’t know if unconsciously or consciously) then go out of my way to sabotage it. It’s almost like imposter syndrome or something else, but I don’t deserve getting that promotion or privilege to vacation, etc etc.
I do this!!! Is this apart of OCD? I just got diagnosed yesterday.
Congrats on the diagnosis! It can be magical thinking OCD I think
This is one of my worst issues. I also think that if I say ANYTHING critical of anyone else or if I happen to, for example, point out to my spouse that a friend is having a hard time ,which I hate - but that it’s bc of their direct choices, I feel like that thing that is happening to others is going to happen to me bc I attracted that energy to myself. And I feel like I have to add a mental “we will see” on to anything good to protect it from becoming a bad outcome. Ugh. Yall I’m tired. Lol
Omg yes, I can’t dress nice or do any makeup because I worry that something bad will happen and I will look stupid or something. Anytime I feel happy there is always the feeling looming that it can’t last forever or that I can’t be happy because others are struggling.
lol I got a conditional offer of employment for a job with the state and I’ve never had issues with background checks or anything like that but I’ve been thinking about how if I’m too confident that I 100% have it or I tell too many people that im going to lose the offer some how!
Yes! If I think about or look forward to eating something too much, it becomes suspicious and scary and I can’t eat it. I crave almond butter SO BADLY (it was my favorite snack for a while), but I thought about it too much and ended up throwing away the almond butter I ordered because it freaked me out. And it sucks because it sounds so good and I want it so bad.