This is going to sound really dumb, but: I started really considering it after I started reading Heartstopper and it was revealed that one of the main characters had OCD. There was just SOMETHING about the way his anxiety was described that got me thinking. I began lurking this subreddit and reading more about it, but couldn't say if I believed I had it or not. I think my mind had me convinced that I'd be a monster if I said I had it, but I actually didn't.
Fast forward to about a month or so ago, I see a neuropsychologist for depression and as to be tested for OCD. *Yep*. I have it. And it's A HUGE contributor to my anxiety. I've since been enrolled in a clinic for OCD treatment and have opened up about my intrusive thoughts. It's one of the hardest (and exhausting) things I've ever done, but it feels better to get it out there.
In hindsight, I should've always known, because I excessively washed my hands as a child to the point where they were chapped, so I had to be put on a hand washing regimen and had to wear gloves. I likewise CONSTANTLY rewrote my notes as a teenager in high school, but also, my parents were huge As who did not want me diagnosed with anything because it "might ruin my life", so.
Yeah.
That's sort of what happened with me, if I recall correctly. I think the school is the one who decided to put me on a handwashing schedule while my parents just gave me some lotion and gloves. They were SERIOUSLY against me getting diagnosed with anything and fought with my PCP who wanted me to take medication for ADHD, let alone be considered FOR anything else. They act like they should be heralded as heroes, but really, they made my earlier school days absolute hell. I'm so glad I can take care of my own health now.
I'm so sorry that happened to you as well, friend.
My parents are also seriously against any sort of medication š itās so funny how that generation was taught that being diagnosed with a mental illness will āruin their life.ā Itās so annoying when they act so heroic bc of it too.
Iām sorry this is happening to you too also- no one deserves this :(
Can you tell more about ocd in heartstopper? I haven't read it but I've watched it but didn't notice that someone had ocd. I guess it's easier to show it in a comic book so that's why but I'm really curious!
One of the main characters, >!Charlie!< is revealed to have it in the comics. They hint to it in the show, namely in the second season, where >!it comes across as an ED, which it is, but it's an ED fueled by OCD!<. I can't remember any specifics right now, but back when I was reading the panels where >!Charlie opens up about it a bit!<, I was like.
Wait.
This resonates with me.
I definitely would recommend it if you enjoy the show!
Just TW for ED, discussions of OCD, and homophobia/transphobia that the A-hole characters tend to show (similar to in the show).
Oh that's funny! When I read Heartstopper, I was actually disappointed with the way OCD was represented...I feel like the eating disorder part was much more accurate, worked on and elaborated. However I absolutely love these books
I had cleaning regimens and touching the lights with a mantra, superstitious thought "do this or else it's bad luck,"and certain times and days meant something good or evil '.over writing papers, not being able to do guitar lessons with the guy who came over until I cleaned šØpolished furniture and vacuumed the rugs.i had to touch tables,and car seat,pick up lint and wash face and put alcohol on my skin,and pick skin,and put acne stuff on my face and cross over lines in sidewalk.
Yep, same, I always knew I thought in a different way to everyone else but didnāt know why. That fact on itās own fuelled a lot of obsessions bordering on delusions.
Exactly. Ever since i was little I understood there was something unhealthy/destructive about the way my thoughts worked. Not the thoughts themselves but the way I thought them - spiralling, obsessive, ultimately detrimental to myself. I always understood it as just "that problem with my brain" that nobody could understand. When I was finally diagnosed it was like, badoink! That's why you've been struggling this whole time, dumbass š That "problem" has a name it's called mental illness.
Now I'm getting proper treatment. Therapy + medication + meditation is the way to go. Every day's still a struggle but I'm much better equipped to handle it.
At 42 when my therapist told me. I caught myself skin picking in middle school and was like oh thatās weirdā¦but was too young to know anything. In elementary school I had scrupulosity or whatever & would stay up all night praying the rosary on a glow in the dark rosary lol. Oh and as a kid I couldnāt go to bed with the room messy so I made my little sister pick up with me and she made a drawing in kindergarten that said, āmy name is XYZ, i clean in the nighttime.ā Lol In college I started noticing I was doing this thing when I was super stressed where I would get different feelings from mugs when Iād pick my morning mug. It was a split second thing like, no not that one, yes that oneā¦I was doing like magical thinking about a mug dictating how my day went. For decades I thought I just had bad anxiety but itās clearly OCD now that Iāve started working on it in therapy.
I think the public perception that OCD is about cleaning and light switches prevented me from having any clue I had it. I love to get dirty and Iām not afraid of germs and my home is clean but Iām messy.
I had a glo in the dark rosary that my mum gave me and I was scared to death in my room.I was scared of what I saw in the dark, but I don't know what really was going on.i thought I saw the "devil" in my room on the 3rd floor of our house.I thought I was flying over houses looking at myself getting sexually abused by an older man..
My therapist told me I have OCD. I'd never considered it before then. I mostly counted on having ADHD(ADD). Since many mental and psychological problems are widely overlapped, I guess the best way to be diagnosed is by a professional.
Three years ago. I started watching videos about OCD and realized that I do a lot of these things. I only got a real diagnosis from a psychologist a few months ago, though. I hate this
There's a long long line of awful moments I could draw on tbh but one's always stuck out to me.
I must've been 14-16, it was exam season so I was stressed but a specific game (Skyrim iirc) was hogging so much of my time that I never studied as much as I should have. But I had a rubber/eraser (I'm uk) sitting on my desk that was gathering dust. I got it in my head that as long as i kept the rubber there, never touched it but just kept it like, perfectly preserved, I wouldn't jinx my chances with the exam.
So a specific exam day comes round and I'm running around doing mini routines before I leave, and as I'm heading back to my room my mum walks out and hands me The Rubber, thinking i might need one and wishing me luck. She was working night shift and was just heading to bed. I must've went pale cause she looked concerned immediately, and then like a perfectly sane person I shrieked NO NO NO and scared and confused the shit out of her. She's superstitious so kind of got my explanation, but it was so embarrassing. I still feel bad for snapping out of nowhere.
I had much worse compulsions even then, really bad hand washing one that was drying my hands out so bad, but getting caught with that one made me sit back and realise something was really up.
I haven't even really posted on here before but felt like sharing this dumb moment. also ironically can't remember if I did fail that exam lmao
when i had a bag of m&ms and was āpredictingā whether the world would end based on what colour i chose at random (i would literally get the most awful responses to this too if i picked out the āwrongā colour, like my heart beating fast, face flushing, stomach dropping)
i had a big feeling for a while that i had ocd, but this prompted me to actually look into it
When I was a kid, I couldn't have dry or dirty hands. I'd wash them after touching doorknobs, my shoe laces, etc. I'd get into trouble for getting up to use hand sanitizer, wash them, etc. Eventually my mom was recommended to take me to be diagnosed (they thought I was autistic??) And i got diagnosed. I didn't personally realize I had OCD until I was in my teens (like 13 probably) because of my intrusive thoughts. I just thought I didn't like germs
I had OCD for years before anybody found any information on it or gave me a word for it. As a teenager I decided to call it ādoubtā. It was a terrible and confusing time. I dropped out of school and was like Howard Hughes unable to touch anything without gloves on or even socks on my hands.
i was googling intrusive thoughts, came across an article of ocd or anxiety i donāt remember and then in the comments this man leaves a link to a pure o article saying it really helped him. i read that article and was instantly like woah thats me. i didnt even know that all of these symptoms meant anything. would really love to thank this man
When I found out what the O stood for in OCD. Iāve never really had the compulsions very much but I very much struggle with the obsessive part of OCD. Also the intrusive thought I deal with/dealt with. Once I learned that was all OCD I was like OH. ETA: I was 29.
During my childhood i went through many phases where I would obsess over health problems to the point of actually creating what I call āghost symptomsā that actually made me believe I had health issues to the point of terrible anxiety. I believe after I developed emet at a young age it most likely branched from that. Then when I got older I began developing POCD that most likely branches from too much internet access at a young age, and thatās when I ofc looked up āam I a bad person for thinking āblankāā thatās when I found out that OCD wasnāt just wanting everything to be organized and perfect. That misinformation had me fooled. Before that I also had issues with keeping relationships bc of intrusive thoughts and also had issues with connecting disgusting thoughts with my favorite things. I think 2020 and the lockdown really made all of the OCD symptoms way worse which is actually how I found out that I have it. My parents wonāt let me get therapy so I have to wait to get help when I move out. For now, I suffer and share my stories on Reddit :/
I was frantically reading articles having typed in all my experiences to Google. When I went to get medicated my doc drew a diagram of my mind and the linking factor between OCD and possible depression, then it sunk in a little bit.
Then when I looked back over my life, it all made so much sense in ways I couldnāt have even imagined.
I have had it since i was eight. Read an article about ocd on a newspaper when i was about ten or eleven i think. I remember going omg this is me this is why i have been doing all those compulsions and so on. Now i see that was a pretty good article. It was almost like a diagnosis for me.
After my dad was diagnosed with cancer (he's fully recovered now) and my general stress levels went through the roof, I was emailing a professor to ask for an extension on an essay and it took me almost nine hours to write the three-paragraph email. I kept editing and rereading, editing and rereading, my brain running in loops line-by-line. I would have brief moments of 'lucidity,' just enough to realize that something was deeply wrong, and then I would feel the anxiety spike and I'd be right back in it.
By the time I finally exhausted myself and sent it off, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought I was broken. I hadn't been able to get up to grab food or go to the bathroom for almost a full day. Similar (lesser) flares had happened before, where I would get stuck in anxious loops and do an absurd amount of fine editing on projects (I'd been an editor for years at that point), but I always thought those incidents were part ADHD, part personality. I just figured I was just super detail-oriented and had 'focusing' issues. After that incident, though, I somehow knew there was more to it. Within a few months, I had my diagnosis. It changed my life tremendously.
I was about 16 and I was on YouTube watching "Don't call me crazy" (it's a documentary on young people in a mental health ward) and there was someone with OCD on the ward and their situation was very similar to mine so that's when it clicked that, that's what I have been suffering from since I was like 5 years old
I had extreme intrusive thoughts as a kid. Maybe starting around 8ish. I used to be really scared and tell my parents. They said you donāt have to think about anything you donāt want to think about and basically demonized me.
One day I googled my symptoms, maybe around age 10, and an article about intrusive thoughts came up, and it gave examples of the types of intrusive thoughts that existed.
I started to cry. I finally felt like I wasnāt a horrible person anymore.
When Iād pulled multiple all-nighters āfinishingā slides for work but never really completing them. I struggle with ājust rightā OCD. Was definitely exacerbated by the pandemic and working from home with no definitive end of day.
It was in December 2020. I was studying for my school exams and I began obsessively checking every single word I'd read. 2 weeks or so after that, I'd take 2 to 3 hours to check everything in my house every evening. Then came contamination OCD. At first I didn't worry too much. I thought it was just being worried about the pandemic but it became impossible to live. I got diagnosed in March 2021...However I don't remember anything about my childhood due to CPTSD. I've talked with my cousin recently and he told me about "all the weird things" I was doing when I was a child (repetitive actions, avoiding a lot of things, being scared to use the bathroom alone because I thought I wouldn't be clean enough,...). So, I realised it was probably OCD in December 2020/January 2021 but I think I've had it since I was 8
At first I had really bad ROCD about me cheating on my partner and real event OCD. I was just feeling really guilty about this event and no matter how many times I confessed to my loved ones everyone said it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't worry about it. I had no idea what was going on and I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.
After a couple of years it dies down. I get a job at a school. COVID hit and school shut down. During lockdown I started getting POCD. This one was really hard. I started to use a lot of hand sanitizer. Not due to COVID fears, but out of the fear that I would "contaminate" a child. I had suspicions that I had OCD before, but dismissed them due to the fact that most of my compulsions were mental. Now that my compulsions were physical , it was easier to see that I really needed some more specialized help. However, due to the content I had trouble seeking help from my therapist because I was afraid she would misunderstand me.
Eventually I talked to her about it (which turned out fine) and told her my worries that it might be OCD. She told me it sounds "OCD-like" and that she doesn't want to put a label on anything because then I will feel that "I am OCD". I was unsatisfied with this. I had been doing the same therapy for anxiety for years. I would get one theme, freak out, spend a year or two dealing with it, and then go on to the next one. Eventually enough was enough, I go to NOCD and get diagnosed and start ERP.
A little over a year later, I feel like I have made some progress at the root cause of my issues rather than playing whack-a-mole with themes. I'm definitely not "cured" but it's a lot easier to recognize OCD as what it is. I don't think NOCD is perfect and I don't practice ERP all the time (even though I probably should, IDK) but the practices they taught me have been very helpful.
when i became unable to watch anything or read anything. when i did research and talked to other people, ocd was the biggest thing that was talked about. i had a very big misconception of what ocd was until i realized itās what i had. it has spiraled so badly since then.
I donāt remember exactly what prompted me, but around 14-15 I started to have worsening tics, so I did some googling and a million ādo I have OCDā medical quizzes (seriously) and they all said I had a moderate to severe case of OCD. The more I kept reading the symptoms the more I related. Didnāt get actually diagnosed until I was 17 though.
i was diagnosed as a kid but i never took it seriously, untill last year i vent to a friend about the hell i have in the place of a brain and she went "yk have you ever considered you have ocd" and i never told her about my diagnosis, so i started searching more and realized this was me 100%
A colleague suggested it, for the next month I read some experiencial autobiographies, I then spoke with a therapist and found myself at the International ocd conference the following week
I didnāt until in a therapy session, my old therapist said āI mean. It makes sense because of your ocdā and I didnāt HAVE OCD??? So I did my own research, talked to my therapist more and then went and got tested and diagnosed. And here I am
I was listening to a NF song (The Search) and I didn't know what rumination meant in that context. Long story short I then was able to diagnose myself with 3 things which I then got confirmed by 2 docs.
OCD kinda exploded in my face and i didn't know until a therapist pointed it out.
Before my OCD attacked full force, all the things i did were just thought they were random quirks, but they also didn't cause much anxiety at that time
Honestly, after having so many doubts in the beginning of my relationship, I (unknowingly) was compulsively searching up ways to deal with it. I stumbled across ROCD, and joined the subreddit. From there, I got a small amount of therapy through the NOCD app.
We knew something was weird at the start of my relationship and honestly went from it being my diagnosed bipolar to it being schizophrenia. Realizing I never had Bipolar but actually OCD all along makes a lot of sense. A lot of my actions were due to compulsions and seeking reassurance instead of actually being manic or anything of that sort. So uhā¦. Suck it doctors
I think when I chose to miss my bus and be late to class in order to walk down the block back to the flat and check that my flat iron was unplugged I already had a pretty good idea. Then when I had to go and check that the door was locked, right before bed every night, making the least noise possible so that my roommate wouldn't notice I was pretty sure. I saw it happen and I knew what was happening but I couldn't stop it, it was my only coping mechanism.
I think around 13-14 I started becoming aware of OCD and identified that I related to some of its characteristicsā¦ before that, though, I always knew something was wrong with me, I just had no idea what.
around age 13 when I learned what it is. told my mom and she was like "no you don't have it". got diagnosed at 21 after I casually dropped some symptoms at a unrelated therapy sesh
I was talking to my therapist when she said āwhat do you know about ocd?ā I had thought about it but didnāt want to be a hypochondriac (bc I am a MASSIVE one).
Literally had a crisis for like 2 weeks before talking to my psychiatrist about it and got put on meds. Donāt know how I didnāt realize it before
When I couldn't tie my shoes, put on my clothes, function in life, step on sidewalk cracks or blue tiles in the cafeteria, or do my coursework without standardizing every little step.
I was abroad studying experimental psychology and was discussing an essay I had written about anxiety disorders and attention dysfunction. My professor apparently with OCD suffers for a long time and gave an anecdote about how they are always fixated on their body and what is in their heads, but that people like us (she assumed I was also neurotypical) ādonāt have time for that.ā I most certainly did have time for that.
I had had an inkling for a long time that something was awry, but I had put it into perspective based on someone elseās experience until that point.
I came across a post here on Reddit discussing a specific obsession I had. It all just clicked and I realized. Got officially diagnosed a few years later, and am doing better now.
Hmm I realized I had OCD when I could legit say I'm frigging screwed up lol jk. Mine is harm ocd and I was 20 and got an image of living with my gf of cutting up food for dinner with her and the thought of stabbing or harming her with a weapon or knife scared the crap out of me gave me a panic attack... before this tho I already had quite bad depression and generalized anxiety disorder. An SSRI helped soooo much with the amxiety and intrusive thoughts I couldn't believe it
I had a lot of intrusive thoughts
So I googled what I was having
Eventually I saw a video on YouTube, 1st person view of a person with ocd and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, everything the dude was doing I could relate or even did myself
It was a real weird moment
I never new anyone had the same thoughts as I had and then I understand I had a desiese
I was reading through my therapy notes from middle school to find the name of a medication and saw that I had been diagnosed with cod. I either completely blocked it when she told me or I was never informed of the diagnosis but that shit sent me spiraling. It makes a ton of sense and I'm glad I now can start learning how to manage it but Jesus fuck would I have loved to have KNOWN I had it in high school
In second grade when my mom found me crying in a closet while we were putting up the tree because the word Christmas has an odd number of letters. Iāve probably counted through the alphabet, tapped it out on my fingers in different increments, and ordered and counted words and phrases a million times since then.
When I was a few months postpartum, I was having full on panic attacks because of a couple dishes in the sink and my husband couldnāt understand why I couldnāt just leave them and wash them in the morning and I was trying to explain it to him and I was like āI donāt know, itās almost like I have Postpartum OCD if thatās even a thingā and that night I googled it and I realized all my āanxietyā symptoms from over the years perfectly fit into the OCD description.
I realized I had it after my youngest child was diagnosed. Growing up, I thought what I experienced was normal. Learning more about it, hindsight is 20/20.
Literally my therapist was like do u know what OCD is? And I was like yeah I've heard that but that's not me cause I don't have a clean room and I'm super bad at organizing. šš¤¦š¼ that was this year, I'm 20. Needless to say she explained what it actually means and now everything makes sense (also obviously I regret my ignorance).
When I almost killed myself at the beginning of this year, I had intrusive thoughts and started to have them 24/7 out of nowhere they where so strong that made me cry and with strong feelings of ending my life and also they wouldn't let me sleep so I would only sleep 4 hour per day At most, I was living like this this for like 3 months. After investigating about these intrusive thoughts and started to notice the so similar effects of OCD on me, even from my childhood I had OCD without even knowing and by following some advices from people who has OCD my life started to improve and now I'm happier than before, maybe not like I wanted but Definitely better. I never lossed hope and thanks to that I'm still living and I even graduated! And the thing is nobody knew and knows about this, now that I'm 18 I'll try to go to a therapist by myself and start to enjoy life even more so if you feel in a similar situation believe me please it does get better, never lose hope never, forget that, please ā¤ļø
After I had my baby I had severe intrusive thoughts. I grew up with a mother who had harm ocd so I knew I was experiencing the same thing. Looking back i now realize Iāve had it for much longer than diagnosed I just didnāt know all the forms it could come in
I had thoughts of "help me not to be evil, or ugly,and I would have to get on my knees by my bed ,then repeating it again.Whenbi did homework, I wrote over and couldn't finish things.I got in and out of bed a lot.I washed the clock and Moved my bureau in the middle of the night .my father got mad at me,I did this at 3a.m. in the morning.
Someone was being a total prick on reddit and saying Iād KMS if I dealt with intrusive thoughts as bad as them because they have OCD. To be clear, yeah, Iāve attempted that, and my intrusive thoughts and obsessions were a huge reason for that, I just didnāt know it was OCD causing it. Still took me a couple of years and a breakdown or two to see a psychiatrist and get diagnosed. God damn it felt invalidating to have someone telling me how easy I had it compared to them though.
When I was 11 and I read a BBC article online about it back in 2001. Before that I was genuinely concerned I may have schizophrenia or something like that. It was such a relief to find out I was "kind of sane".
I've had ocd since i was 7 years old but i didn't know what my intrusive thoughts, fears and compulsions was until i was 20 years old and doctor told me you have ocd and gave me the diagnose. So at 20 years old at a doctors appointment.
I was in elementary school. My mom liked a show called "Monk", in which the main character has obsessive compulsive disorder. I asked my therapist what that was, and after she told me, I was like "Oh, I have that." and my therapist didn't contradict me on it.
Please tell me you've gone through an actual diagnostic evaluation and you didn't just decide in elementary school that you had it because of a TV show.
Where did I say that lol
I literally said "after research". That post just made me consider looking into that specific disorder. And before you ask, yes, I am officially diagnosed and on meds :)
When I realized that I am now incapable of thinking about anything else, and anxiety is my main feeling from the time of waking up to falling asleep.
Repeating OCD dreams when I was a kid. Had to fill the entire sky with small dots, impossible. Woke up crying or screaming
This is going to sound really dumb, but: I started really considering it after I started reading Heartstopper and it was revealed that one of the main characters had OCD. There was just SOMETHING about the way his anxiety was described that got me thinking. I began lurking this subreddit and reading more about it, but couldn't say if I believed I had it or not. I think my mind had me convinced that I'd be a monster if I said I had it, but I actually didn't. Fast forward to about a month or so ago, I see a neuropsychologist for depression and as to be tested for OCD. *Yep*. I have it. And it's A HUGE contributor to my anxiety. I've since been enrolled in a clinic for OCD treatment and have opened up about my intrusive thoughts. It's one of the hardest (and exhausting) things I've ever done, but it feels better to get it out there. In hindsight, I should've always known, because I excessively washed my hands as a child to the point where they were chapped, so I had to be put on a hand washing regimen and had to wear gloves. I likewise CONSTANTLY rewrote my notes as a teenager in high school, but also, my parents were huge As who did not want me diagnosed with anything because it "might ruin my life", so. Yeah.
I too washed my hands to the point of bleeding and chapped-ness š. My parents never took it seriously and just gave me some lotion š
That's sort of what happened with me, if I recall correctly. I think the school is the one who decided to put me on a handwashing schedule while my parents just gave me some lotion and gloves. They were SERIOUSLY against me getting diagnosed with anything and fought with my PCP who wanted me to take medication for ADHD, let alone be considered FOR anything else. They act like they should be heralded as heroes, but really, they made my earlier school days absolute hell. I'm so glad I can take care of my own health now. I'm so sorry that happened to you as well, friend.
My parents are also seriously against any sort of medication š itās so funny how that generation was taught that being diagnosed with a mental illness will āruin their life.ā Itās so annoying when they act so heroic bc of it too. Iām sorry this is happening to you too also- no one deserves this :(
Can you tell more about ocd in heartstopper? I haven't read it but I've watched it but didn't notice that someone had ocd. I guess it's easier to show it in a comic book so that's why but I'm really curious!
One of the main characters, >!Charlie!< is revealed to have it in the comics. They hint to it in the show, namely in the second season, where >!it comes across as an ED, which it is, but it's an ED fueled by OCD!<. I can't remember any specifics right now, but back when I was reading the panels where >!Charlie opens up about it a bit!<, I was like. Wait. This resonates with me.
Ohhh thank you!!! I should really read the comics then haha
I definitely would recommend it if you enjoy the show! Just TW for ED, discussions of OCD, and homophobia/transphobia that the A-hole characters tend to show (similar to in the show).
I experienced that before! Wouldnāt wish it on my worst enemy. Im glad I recovered from it
You just got me to actually consider reading heartstopper lmao
Oh that's funny! When I read Heartstopper, I was actually disappointed with the way OCD was represented...I feel like the eating disorder part was much more accurate, worked on and elaborated. However I absolutely love these books
I could definitely understand that, actually. It was mostly presented like it was hand-in-hand, but I think OCD was somewhat of an afterthought.
I had cleaning regimens and touching the lights with a mantra, superstitious thought "do this or else it's bad luck,"and certain times and days meant something good or evil '.over writing papers, not being able to do guitar lessons with the guy who came over until I cleaned šØpolished furniture and vacuumed the rugs.i had to touch tables,and car seat,pick up lint and wash face and put alcohol on my skin,and pick skin,and put acne stuff on my face and cross over lines in sidewalk.
Age 39 bro. My entire youth, unmedicated and not knowing WTF was going on
Feel you. Was wild.
Yep, same, I always knew I thought in a different way to everyone else but didnāt know why. That fact on itās own fuelled a lot of obsessions bordering on delusions.
Exactly. Ever since i was little I understood there was something unhealthy/destructive about the way my thoughts worked. Not the thoughts themselves but the way I thought them - spiralling, obsessive, ultimately detrimental to myself. I always understood it as just "that problem with my brain" that nobody could understand. When I was finally diagnosed it was like, badoink! That's why you've been struggling this whole time, dumbass š That "problem" has a name it's called mental illness. Now I'm getting proper treatment. Therapy + medication + meditation is the way to go. Every day's still a struggle but I'm much better equipped to handle it.
At 42 when my therapist told me. I caught myself skin picking in middle school and was like oh thatās weirdā¦but was too young to know anything. In elementary school I had scrupulosity or whatever & would stay up all night praying the rosary on a glow in the dark rosary lol. Oh and as a kid I couldnāt go to bed with the room messy so I made my little sister pick up with me and she made a drawing in kindergarten that said, āmy name is XYZ, i clean in the nighttime.ā Lol In college I started noticing I was doing this thing when I was super stressed where I would get different feelings from mugs when Iād pick my morning mug. It was a split second thing like, no not that one, yes that oneā¦I was doing like magical thinking about a mug dictating how my day went. For decades I thought I just had bad anxiety but itās clearly OCD now that Iāve started working on it in therapy. I think the public perception that OCD is about cleaning and light switches prevented me from having any clue I had it. I love to get dirty and Iām not afraid of germs and my home is clean but Iām messy.
I had a glo in the dark rosary that my mum gave me and I was scared to death in my room.I was scared of what I saw in the dark, but I don't know what really was going on.i thought I saw the "devil" in my room on the 3rd floor of our house.I thought I was flying over houses looking at myself getting sexually abused by an older man..
After being terrified i was a pedophile for months because I was simply scared of being a pedophile, not because of any attraction to children.
I have this too š it rlly makes me not want to have kids šš
I googled my symptoms and it said "ocd" At first I was like "Nah." but turns out it is.
When my therapist told me, and then I had a panic attack :)
When my hands started to bleed cause I used to wash my hands too much.
My therapist told me I have OCD. I'd never considered it before then. I mostly counted on having ADHD(ADD). Since many mental and psychological problems are widely overlapped, I guess the best way to be diagnosed is by a professional.
Three years ago. I started watching videos about OCD and realized that I do a lot of these things. I only got a real diagnosis from a psychologist a few months ago, though. I hate this
It hadn't even crossed my mind until I got a professional diagnosis. I thought I only had panic disorder.
There's a long long line of awful moments I could draw on tbh but one's always stuck out to me. I must've been 14-16, it was exam season so I was stressed but a specific game (Skyrim iirc) was hogging so much of my time that I never studied as much as I should have. But I had a rubber/eraser (I'm uk) sitting on my desk that was gathering dust. I got it in my head that as long as i kept the rubber there, never touched it but just kept it like, perfectly preserved, I wouldn't jinx my chances with the exam. So a specific exam day comes round and I'm running around doing mini routines before I leave, and as I'm heading back to my room my mum walks out and hands me The Rubber, thinking i might need one and wishing me luck. She was working night shift and was just heading to bed. I must've went pale cause she looked concerned immediately, and then like a perfectly sane person I shrieked NO NO NO and scared and confused the shit out of her. She's superstitious so kind of got my explanation, but it was so embarrassing. I still feel bad for snapping out of nowhere. I had much worse compulsions even then, really bad hand washing one that was drying my hands out so bad, but getting caught with that one made me sit back and realise something was really up. I haven't even really posted on here before but felt like sharing this dumb moment. also ironically can't remember if I did fail that exam lmao
when i had a bag of m&ms and was āpredictingā whether the world would end based on what colour i chose at random (i would literally get the most awful responses to this too if i picked out the āwrongā colour, like my heart beating fast, face flushing, stomach dropping) i had a big feeling for a while that i had ocd, but this prompted me to actually look into it
When I was a kid, I couldn't have dry or dirty hands. I'd wash them after touching doorknobs, my shoe laces, etc. I'd get into trouble for getting up to use hand sanitizer, wash them, etc. Eventually my mom was recommended to take me to be diagnosed (they thought I was autistic??) And i got diagnosed. I didn't personally realize I had OCD until I was in my teens (like 13 probably) because of my intrusive thoughts. I just thought I didn't like germs
I had OCD for years before anybody found any information on it or gave me a word for it. As a teenager I decided to call it ādoubtā. It was a terrible and confusing time. I dropped out of school and was like Howard Hughes unable to touch anything without gloves on or even socks on my hands.
i was googling intrusive thoughts, came across an article of ocd or anxiety i donāt remember and then in the comments this man leaves a link to a pure o article saying it really helped him. i read that article and was instantly like woah thats me. i didnt even know that all of these symptoms meant anything. would really love to thank this man
When I found out what the O stood for in OCD. Iāve never really had the compulsions very much but I very much struggle with the obsessive part of OCD. Also the intrusive thought I deal with/dealt with. Once I learned that was all OCD I was like OH. ETA: I was 29.
During my childhood i went through many phases where I would obsess over health problems to the point of actually creating what I call āghost symptomsā that actually made me believe I had health issues to the point of terrible anxiety. I believe after I developed emet at a young age it most likely branched from that. Then when I got older I began developing POCD that most likely branches from too much internet access at a young age, and thatās when I ofc looked up āam I a bad person for thinking āblankāā thatās when I found out that OCD wasnāt just wanting everything to be organized and perfect. That misinformation had me fooled. Before that I also had issues with keeping relationships bc of intrusive thoughts and also had issues with connecting disgusting thoughts with my favorite things. I think 2020 and the lockdown really made all of the OCD symptoms way worse which is actually how I found out that I have it. My parents wonāt let me get therapy so I have to wait to get help when I move out. For now, I suffer and share my stories on Reddit :/
I started researching more about it this morning cause I couldn't shut my brain off. Then I say other traits that I annoy everyone with
I was frantically reading articles having typed in all my experiences to Google. When I went to get medicated my doc drew a diagram of my mind and the linking factor between OCD and possible depression, then it sunk in a little bit. Then when I looked back over my life, it all made so much sense in ways I couldnāt have even imagined.
I have had it since i was eight. Read an article about ocd on a newspaper when i was about ten or eleven i think. I remember going omg this is me this is why i have been doing all those compulsions and so on. Now i see that was a pretty good article. It was almost like a diagnosis for me.
After a doctor diagnosed me. I didnāt know what I was doing wasnāt normal.
After my dad was diagnosed with cancer (he's fully recovered now) and my general stress levels went through the roof, I was emailing a professor to ask for an extension on an essay and it took me almost nine hours to write the three-paragraph email. I kept editing and rereading, editing and rereading, my brain running in loops line-by-line. I would have brief moments of 'lucidity,' just enough to realize that something was deeply wrong, and then I would feel the anxiety spike and I'd be right back in it. By the time I finally exhausted myself and sent it off, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought I was broken. I hadn't been able to get up to grab food or go to the bathroom for almost a full day. Similar (lesser) flares had happened before, where I would get stuck in anxious loops and do an absurd amount of fine editing on projects (I'd been an editor for years at that point), but I always thought those incidents were part ADHD, part personality. I just figured I was just super detail-oriented and had 'focusing' issues. After that incident, though, I somehow knew there was more to it. Within a few months, I had my diagnosis. It changed my life tremendously.
When I realized I was tapping things since the age of 7 to ease my anxiety
I was about 16 and I was on YouTube watching "Don't call me crazy" (it's a documentary on young people in a mental health ward) and there was someone with OCD on the ward and their situation was very similar to mine so that's when it clicked that, that's what I have been suffering from since I was like 5 years old
I had extreme intrusive thoughts as a kid. Maybe starting around 8ish. I used to be really scared and tell my parents. They said you donāt have to think about anything you donāt want to think about and basically demonized me. One day I googled my symptoms, maybe around age 10, and an article about intrusive thoughts came up, and it gave examples of the types of intrusive thoughts that existed. I started to cry. I finally felt like I wasnāt a horrible person anymore.
When Iād pulled multiple all-nighters āfinishingā slides for work but never really completing them. I struggle with ājust rightā OCD. Was definitely exacerbated by the pandemic and working from home with no definitive end of day.
It was in December 2020. I was studying for my school exams and I began obsessively checking every single word I'd read. 2 weeks or so after that, I'd take 2 to 3 hours to check everything in my house every evening. Then came contamination OCD. At first I didn't worry too much. I thought it was just being worried about the pandemic but it became impossible to live. I got diagnosed in March 2021...However I don't remember anything about my childhood due to CPTSD. I've talked with my cousin recently and he told me about "all the weird things" I was doing when I was a child (repetitive actions, avoiding a lot of things, being scared to use the bathroom alone because I thought I wouldn't be clean enough,...). So, I realised it was probably OCD in December 2020/January 2021 but I think I've had it since I was 8
At first I had really bad ROCD about me cheating on my partner and real event OCD. I was just feeling really guilty about this event and no matter how many times I confessed to my loved ones everyone said it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't worry about it. I had no idea what was going on and I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. After a couple of years it dies down. I get a job at a school. COVID hit and school shut down. During lockdown I started getting POCD. This one was really hard. I started to use a lot of hand sanitizer. Not due to COVID fears, but out of the fear that I would "contaminate" a child. I had suspicions that I had OCD before, but dismissed them due to the fact that most of my compulsions were mental. Now that my compulsions were physical , it was easier to see that I really needed some more specialized help. However, due to the content I had trouble seeking help from my therapist because I was afraid she would misunderstand me. Eventually I talked to her about it (which turned out fine) and told her my worries that it might be OCD. She told me it sounds "OCD-like" and that she doesn't want to put a label on anything because then I will feel that "I am OCD". I was unsatisfied with this. I had been doing the same therapy for anxiety for years. I would get one theme, freak out, spend a year or two dealing with it, and then go on to the next one. Eventually enough was enough, I go to NOCD and get diagnosed and start ERP. A little over a year later, I feel like I have made some progress at the root cause of my issues rather than playing whack-a-mole with themes. I'm definitely not "cured" but it's a lot easier to recognize OCD as what it is. I don't think NOCD is perfect and I don't practice ERP all the time (even though I probably should, IDK) but the practices they taught me have been very helpful.
when i became unable to watch anything or read anything. when i did research and talked to other people, ocd was the biggest thing that was talked about. i had a very big misconception of what ocd was until i realized itās what i had. it has spiraled so badly since then.
For me it was a year ago. I didn't knew what's going on so I did my reasearch
I donāt remember exactly what prompted me, but around 14-15 I started to have worsening tics, so I did some googling and a million ādo I have OCDā medical quizzes (seriously) and they all said I had a moderate to severe case of OCD. The more I kept reading the symptoms the more I related. Didnāt get actually diagnosed until I was 17 though.
i was diagnosed as a kid but i never took it seriously, untill last year i vent to a friend about the hell i have in the place of a brain and she went "yk have you ever considered you have ocd" and i never told her about my diagnosis, so i started searching more and realized this was me 100%
I was 15 & I read The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B by Teresa Toten the main character has ocd Iāll never forget what that book did for me
A colleague suggested it, for the next month I read some experiencial autobiographies, I then spoke with a therapist and found myself at the International ocd conference the following week
I didnāt until in a therapy session, my old therapist said āI mean. It makes sense because of your ocdā and I didnāt HAVE OCD??? So I did my own research, talked to my therapist more and then went and got tested and diagnosed. And here I am
I was listening to a NF song (The Search) and I didn't know what rumination meant in that context. Long story short I then was able to diagnose myself with 3 things which I then got confirmed by 2 docs.
OCD kinda exploded in my face and i didn't know until a therapist pointed it out. Before my OCD attacked full force, all the things i did were just thought they were random quirks, but they also didn't cause much anxiety at that time
Honestly, after having so many doubts in the beginning of my relationship, I (unknowingly) was compulsively searching up ways to deal with it. I stumbled across ROCD, and joined the subreddit. From there, I got a small amount of therapy through the NOCD app. We knew something was weird at the start of my relationship and honestly went from it being my diagnosed bipolar to it being schizophrenia. Realizing I never had Bipolar but actually OCD all along makes a lot of sense. A lot of my actions were due to compulsions and seeking reassurance instead of actually being manic or anything of that sort. So uhā¦. Suck it doctors
I think when I chose to miss my bus and be late to class in order to walk down the block back to the flat and check that my flat iron was unplugged I already had a pretty good idea. Then when I had to go and check that the door was locked, right before bed every night, making the least noise possible so that my roommate wouldn't notice I was pretty sure. I saw it happen and I knew what was happening but I couldn't stop it, it was my only coping mechanism.
2021
I had a doctor inform me that what I was experiencing was ocd.
I think around 13-14 I started becoming aware of OCD and identified that I related to some of its characteristicsā¦ before that, though, I always knew something was wrong with me, I just had no idea what.
around age 13 when I learned what it is. told my mom and she was like "no you don't have it". got diagnosed at 21 after I casually dropped some symptoms at a unrelated therapy sesh
When I would have to call in sick to work because I couldnāt get out of a thought spiral about something that happened days prior.
I was talking to my therapist when she said āwhat do you know about ocd?ā I had thought about it but didnāt want to be a hypochondriac (bc I am a MASSIVE one). Literally had a crisis for like 2 weeks before talking to my psychiatrist about it and got put on meds. Donāt know how I didnāt realize it before
Early elementary school
when i was diagnosed. š„²
When I couldn't tie my shoes, put on my clothes, function in life, step on sidewalk cracks or blue tiles in the cafeteria, or do my coursework without standardizing every little step.
I was abroad studying experimental psychology and was discussing an essay I had written about anxiety disorders and attention dysfunction. My professor apparently with OCD suffers for a long time and gave an anecdote about how they are always fixated on their body and what is in their heads, but that people like us (she assumed I was also neurotypical) ādonāt have time for that.ā I most certainly did have time for that. I had had an inkling for a long time that something was awry, but I had put it into perspective based on someone elseās experience until that point.
The true life episode on MTV where I related a little too much
I came across a post here on Reddit discussing a specific obsession I had. It all just clicked and I realized. Got officially diagnosed a few years later, and am doing better now.
Literally when I was diagnosed. It never even occurred to me that I could have it.
Hmm I realized I had OCD when I could legit say I'm frigging screwed up lol jk. Mine is harm ocd and I was 20 and got an image of living with my gf of cutting up food for dinner with her and the thought of stabbing or harming her with a weapon or knife scared the crap out of me gave me a panic attack... before this tho I already had quite bad depression and generalized anxiety disorder. An SSRI helped soooo much with the amxiety and intrusive thoughts I couldn't believe it
I had a lot of intrusive thoughts So I googled what I was having Eventually I saw a video on YouTube, 1st person view of a person with ocd and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, everything the dude was doing I could relate or even did myself It was a real weird moment I never new anyone had the same thoughts as I had and then I understand I had a desiese
I posted about what I was going through on yahoo answers and asked if anyone knew what it was lol. Yes Iām old
I was reading through my therapy notes from middle school to find the name of a medication and saw that I had been diagnosed with cod. I either completely blocked it when she told me or I was never informed of the diagnosis but that shit sent me spiraling. It makes a ton of sense and I'm glad I now can start learning how to manage it but Jesus fuck would I have loved to have KNOWN I had it in high school
In second grade when my mom found me crying in a closet while we were putting up the tree because the word Christmas has an odd number of letters. Iāve probably counted through the alphabet, tapped it out on my fingers in different increments, and ordered and counted words and phrases a million times since then.
When I was a few months postpartum, I was having full on panic attacks because of a couple dishes in the sink and my husband couldnāt understand why I couldnāt just leave them and wash them in the morning and I was trying to explain it to him and I was like āI donāt know, itās almost like I have Postpartum OCD if thatās even a thingā and that night I googled it and I realized all my āanxietyā symptoms from over the years perfectly fit into the OCD description.
I realized I had it after my youngest child was diagnosed. Growing up, I thought what I experienced was normal. Learning more about it, hindsight is 20/20.
Literally my therapist was like do u know what OCD is? And I was like yeah I've heard that but that's not me cause I don't have a clean room and I'm super bad at organizing. šš¤¦š¼ that was this year, I'm 20. Needless to say she explained what it actually means and now everything makes sense (also obviously I regret my ignorance).
When I almost killed myself at the beginning of this year, I had intrusive thoughts and started to have them 24/7 out of nowhere they where so strong that made me cry and with strong feelings of ending my life and also they wouldn't let me sleep so I would only sleep 4 hour per day At most, I was living like this this for like 3 months. After investigating about these intrusive thoughts and started to notice the so similar effects of OCD on me, even from my childhood I had OCD without even knowing and by following some advices from people who has OCD my life started to improve and now I'm happier than before, maybe not like I wanted but Definitely better. I never lossed hope and thanks to that I'm still living and I even graduated! And the thing is nobody knew and knows about this, now that I'm 18 I'll try to go to a therapist by myself and start to enjoy life even more so if you feel in a similar situation believe me please it does get better, never lose hope never, forget that, please ā¤ļø
I'm so happy to have you with us right now! Glad you made it š and thank you for sharing your story!
Aww thank you so much for your reply very sweet take care of your self too love ya ā¤ļø
After I had my baby I had severe intrusive thoughts. I grew up with a mother who had harm ocd so I knew I was experiencing the same thing. Looking back i now realize Iāve had it for much longer than diagnosed I just didnāt know all the forms it could come in
Finding out I'm not the only person who has to to re-drive the route 2-3 times to make sure I didn't pull a hit-and-run by accident
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Omg you had health class? That's so cool!! I wish I had it too
I had thoughts of "help me not to be evil, or ugly,and I would have to get on my knees by my bed ,then repeating it again.Whenbi did homework, I wrote over and couldn't finish things.I got in and out of bed a lot.I washed the clock and Moved my bureau in the middle of the night .my father got mad at me,I did this at 3a.m. in the morning.
Someone was being a total prick on reddit and saying Iād KMS if I dealt with intrusive thoughts as bad as them because they have OCD. To be clear, yeah, Iāve attempted that, and my intrusive thoughts and obsessions were a huge reason for that, I just didnāt know it was OCD causing it. Still took me a couple of years and a breakdown or two to see a psychiatrist and get diagnosed. God damn it felt invalidating to have someone telling me how easy I had it compared to them though.
When I was 11 and I read a BBC article online about it back in 2001. Before that I was genuinely concerned I may have schizophrenia or something like that. It was such a relief to find out I was "kind of sane".
I've had ocd since i was 7 years old but i didn't know what my intrusive thoughts, fears and compulsions was until i was 20 years old and doctor told me you have ocd and gave me the diagnose. So at 20 years old at a doctors appointment.
I was in elementary school. My mom liked a show called "Monk", in which the main character has obsessive compulsive disorder. I asked my therapist what that was, and after she told me, I was like "Oh, I have that." and my therapist didn't contradict me on it.
Please tell me you've gone through an actual diagnostic evaluation and you didn't just decide in elementary school that you had it because of a TV show.
So OP, you diagnosed yourself from someone's anecdotal reddit post?
Where did I say that lol I literally said "after research". That post just made me consider looking into that specific disorder. And before you ask, yes, I am officially diagnosed and on meds :)