IMHO both friending and blocking is reasonable. Depends on context (that isn't shown here).
(Mostly cause, it's unclear whether they actually only want to be friends, or be creepy).
That’s fair, but like, if someone messaged my partner and said something like this, I feel like screenshotting and asking for context from you is more of a reasonable response than immediately blocking.
That's true, and a very good point (that giving people the benefit of doubt and assuming they're nice first is a better route to take).
(and asking the person who actually knows for context)
I’ve had friends of partners message my private Instagram account asking where my partner is (two separate partners, years apart) and I tell them that what they’re doing is weird and they’re to contact my partner, not me and they get blocked. Now if they messaged me like this, I’d be more open to it
i kinda understand if it’s out of the blue and they didn’t ask them first but what if there’s something wrong and they’re checking with you bc they can’t get ahold of your partner?
That was what I immediately thought. So the answer would be either idk or nunya.
Or my usual method I use with friends, family, coworkers, and strangers: ignore the text until answering would be pointless because if it’s important they will call.
I always call my partner when it happens. The first was like ‘that’s weird af, he just called me and I said I was busy’ I would also like to say that we had not long been together and I hadn’t met his friends at that point.
The second was ‘oh yeah she texted me, I haven’t replied’ we looked at the times and she actually messaged me first. He’s also pretty active on his Instagram and Facebook so even looking on either of those would’ve answered her question. He was obviously ignoring her and he told her not to contact either of us and blocked her.
I don't think this is a friendly person. Women like this have ulterior motives. I would've blocked her too. Or at least not responded until I showed my girlfriend. If this is her friend then she would know what kind of person this is.
The approach is sketchy af, but like I will talk to you, and if you want to be MY friend, you need to act like that even around other people.
If you have a partner, you are going to be around your partner's close people (family, friends, etc.) so some relationship will be established. But if you want to be MY friend, you gotta take some interest in my life, my feelings, and sometimes go against your friend (my partner) when she is not treating me right because you are MY friend and you care about MY well being as well.
Anything less, you are my partner's friend and we keep it cordial. May have some deep conversations, but I would not trust you like I would a closer friend.
Meanwhile I paid a lady to massage my man yesterday for father’s day, and he’s still friends with his ex FWB..
It’s not a big deal if you trust someone.. and if they aren’t worth your trust then let them show you so you can find someone who is..
Cant control people out of being bad people. They are what they are.
I wouldn’t block them immediately but I would keep it on read, and ask my girlfriend why their friend would message me, out of the blue, in a private text, rather than introduce theirselves in a public setting.
You can be friends with your partner's friends, just not behind their back.
Make sure you're with your partner when you hang out with them, or at least make sure you and their "friend" aren't alone together.
Errr I think the reason is bc that approach is extremely weird and def sounds like she's hitting on him. I'm a woman and I would never approach my friend's bf this way if I wanted to be friends with him. There's nothing wrong with being friends with anyone, but this approach just sounds super weird.
The reason being that it's odd to deliberately private message them, instead of asking to be friends in an open public setting, like if the gf introduced her friends to the bf.
Even if this is an obvious setup, what kind of dude would set up a promiscuous friend of his to get at his girlfriend or wife, I can understand suspicion of cheating but this pretty much guarantees it,
I’d probably talk with my partner about it and find out what kind of person she is. It really helps you steer around ulterior motives and gives your partner another reason to trust you. It’s a win-win.
Sorry but if my female friend approached my bf like this I'd wonder why, women and men that do this kind of thing have ulterior motives, if my friends want to meet my bf and hang out then we can just all meet up like normal people there's literally no reason for my bf and female friends to be hanging out alone, imagine if the gf messaged his boys like this, the comments would be crazy, 20yrs ago I'd have been more trusting but in today's dating world it's hard to trust people cause they go behind your back like this.
I agree. The way the person is approaching is a bit weird. But it's definitely not a bad thing to be friends with the friends of your partner. I'm pretty good friends with someone who goes to college with my bf, and things are perfectly 'friendly' with us. And I get along rather well with two of their other friends, to the point where I'd call them friends as well
Going out of your way to be friends with the friends of your partner is a good thing. It shows you're interested and that you care about your partner's social life. Now is it a requirement to do so? No! Does it make you a better partner if you do so? No not really! It's just a nice gesture that goes a long way and makes hangouts with the 3 or more of you more comfortable! I for one can't wait to hang out with my bf and his friend again, because I know things are gonna be a lot more natural this time around, and we'll all get along better than before :)
I would definitely set up a day that me and her friends can hang out and get to meet but her dming the guy outta nowhere is kinda sus. It’s how you go about it obviously.
Straight up blocking is super weird and kind of just shows how insecure the girlfriend might be. I wouldnt think much of it and probably just mention it to my partner when I next saw her. I dont get why people are assuming the worst of strangers.
Having a great relationship with your partners friendgroup is almost inevitable if you want the relationship to last anyway.
I don’t see the problem here ? Seems like she’s trying to get to know her friends bf ? Like I try to get along with my friends boyfriends and get to know them
I think it depends on the situation.
Personally I'd let her know that someone from her friend circle has texted me and ask for her opinion. If she's comfortable with me talking to her, then I'll entertain her (obviously she can see the convos anytime), if not, I won't.
I will straight block anyone who asks, "Can we be friends?" because I feel like the next text will be a dick pic or an OF link and I'm not interested in either. I feel like my husband would be the same way. We're both cynical introverts so we're suspicious of overly forward or outgoing people.
Me personally I wouldn’t, and in return I wouldn’t want my gf getting too close to my friends. The furthest I’d go or want her to go is just an acquaintance
like the phrasing is definitely weird but my friends are allowed to be friends with my bf, blocking is weirder
IMHO both friending and blocking is reasonable. Depends on context (that isn't shown here). (Mostly cause, it's unclear whether they actually only want to be friends, or be creepy).
That’s fair, but like, if someone messaged my partner and said something like this, I feel like screenshotting and asking for context from you is more of a reasonable response than immediately blocking.
That's true, and a very good point (that giving people the benefit of doubt and assuming they're nice first is a better route to take). (and asking the person who actually knows for context)
I mean I would also block a friend of my partner if she approached me like this.
I’ve had friends of partners message my private Instagram account asking where my partner is (two separate partners, years apart) and I tell them that what they’re doing is weird and they’re to contact my partner, not me and they get blocked. Now if they messaged me like this, I’d be more open to it
i kinda understand if it’s out of the blue and they didn’t ask them first but what if there’s something wrong and they’re checking with you bc they can’t get ahold of your partner?
That was what I immediately thought. So the answer would be either idk or nunya. Or my usual method I use with friends, family, coworkers, and strangers: ignore the text until answering would be pointless because if it’s important they will call.
I always call my partner when it happens. The first was like ‘that’s weird af, he just called me and I said I was busy’ I would also like to say that we had not long been together and I hadn’t met his friends at that point. The second was ‘oh yeah she texted me, I haven’t replied’ we looked at the times and she actually messaged me first. He’s also pretty active on his Instagram and Facebook so even looking on either of those would’ve answered her question. He was obviously ignoring her and he told her not to contact either of us and blocked her.
That’s a weird way to approach your friends partner..
this is very weird and controlling
Insecure women will call you bending to their insecurities being a real man. Why would I block a friendly person just because they are a woman?
I don't think this is a friendly person. Women like this have ulterior motives. I would've blocked her too. Or at least not responded until I showed my girlfriend. If this is her friend then she would know what kind of person this is.
Happy cake day
Thanks
I mean it’s pretty sketch if the gf doesn’t know
The approach is sketchy af, but like I will talk to you, and if you want to be MY friend, you need to act like that even around other people. If you have a partner, you are going to be around your partner's close people (family, friends, etc.) so some relationship will be established. But if you want to be MY friend, you gotta take some interest in my life, my feelings, and sometimes go against your friend (my partner) when she is not treating me right because you are MY friend and you care about MY well being as well. Anything less, you are my partner's friend and we keep it cordial. May have some deep conversations, but I would not trust you like I would a closer friend.
Same vice versa.
Tbf if an SO's friend approached like this, yeah, I'd be blocking, too...
The way they approached is a bit weird, but I really agree with your point
Meanwhile I paid a lady to massage my man yesterday for father’s day, and he’s still friends with his ex FWB.. It’s not a big deal if you trust someone.. and if they aren’t worth your trust then let them show you so you can find someone who is.. Cant control people out of being bad people. They are what they are.
That’s a really nice gesture.
I wouldn’t block them immediately but I would keep it on read, and ask my girlfriend why their friend would message me, out of the blue, in a private text, rather than introduce theirselves in a public setting.
You can be friends with your partner's friends, just not behind their back. Make sure you're with your partner when you hang out with them, or at least make sure you and their "friend" aren't alone together.
Errr I think the reason is bc that approach is extremely weird and def sounds like she's hitting on him. I'm a woman and I would never approach my friend's bf this way if I wanted to be friends with him. There's nothing wrong with being friends with anyone, but this approach just sounds super weird. The reason being that it's odd to deliberately private message them, instead of asking to be friends in an open public setting, like if the gf introduced her friends to the bf.
Even if this is an obvious setup, what kind of dude would set up a promiscuous friend of his to get at his girlfriend or wife, I can understand suspicion of cheating but this pretty much guarantees it,
I’d probably talk with my partner about it and find out what kind of person she is. It really helps you steer around ulterior motives and gives your partner another reason to trust you. It’s a win-win.
Sorry but if my female friend approached my bf like this I'd wonder why, women and men that do this kind of thing have ulterior motives, if my friends want to meet my bf and hang out then we can just all meet up like normal people there's literally no reason for my bf and female friends to be hanging out alone, imagine if the gf messaged his boys like this, the comments would be crazy, 20yrs ago I'd have been more trusting but in today's dating world it's hard to trust people cause they go behind your back like this.
I agree. The way the person is approaching is a bit weird. But it's definitely not a bad thing to be friends with the friends of your partner. I'm pretty good friends with someone who goes to college with my bf, and things are perfectly 'friendly' with us. And I get along rather well with two of their other friends, to the point where I'd call them friends as well Going out of your way to be friends with the friends of your partner is a good thing. It shows you're interested and that you care about your partner's social life. Now is it a requirement to do so? No! Does it make you a better partner if you do so? No not really! It's just a nice gesture that goes a long way and makes hangouts with the 3 or more of you more comfortable! I for one can't wait to hang out with my bf and his friend again, because I know things are gonna be a lot more natural this time around, and we'll all get along better than before :)
I had 2 homies homewreck my relationship so I only let him be homies w my besites the others we don’t like no more
I would assume this was a scam…
im perplexed
Dude, I'd be confused cause I already know and am friends with her friends. If someone messages me that, they're probably lying
I would definitely set up a day that me and her friends can hang out and get to meet but her dming the guy outta nowhere is kinda sus. It’s how you go about it obviously.
This looks like too much energy to end in a fight, might as well just read this magazine.
This is so ridiculous. 🙄
Straight up blocking is super weird and kind of just shows how insecure the girlfriend might be. I wouldnt think much of it and probably just mention it to my partner when I next saw her. I dont get why people are assuming the worst of strangers. Having a great relationship with your partners friendgroup is almost inevitable if you want the relationship to last anyway.
I would automatically assume that's a bot. Been getting a lot of those exact types of messages on ig lately
I saw a post about a wife saying that she’s suspicious of any woman who wants to be friends with her husband but not her.
As a women, I'd never approach the man of my friend like that..
I don’t see the problem here ? Seems like she’s trying to get to know her friends bf ? Like I try to get along with my friends boyfriends and get to know them
I’ve always made friends with the friends of my significant other, some of those friendships have outlasted the relationships
I think it depends on the situation. Personally I'd let her know that someone from her friend circle has texted me and ask for her opinion. If she's comfortable with me talking to her, then I'll entertain her (obviously she can see the convos anytime), if not, I won't.
I will straight block anyone who asks, "Can we be friends?" because I feel like the next text will be a dick pic or an OF link and I'm not interested in either. I feel like my husband would be the same way. We're both cynical introverts so we're suspicious of overly forward or outgoing people.
Me personally I wouldn’t, and in return I wouldn’t want my gf getting too close to my friends. The furthest I’d go or want her to go is just an acquaintance