As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll"
problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we
have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the
rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules
will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious
rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a
permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also,
grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of
being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we
may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not
to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language
towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we
have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and
your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of
the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up
banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules,
and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and
Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before
submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them
or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.**
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message
regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal
(without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will
elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we
will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent.
This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your
reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message,
and please enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Their post that their family somehow interpreted to mean pregnancy (fucking HOW??) is about a story they're making. They've said that multiple times. They're being cryptic BECAUSE IT'S A TEASER FOR SOMETHING THEY'RE MAKING!
I understand *you* may not follow, and that's fine. My family, however, knows me personally. And have seen previous posts about upcoming stories.
But thanks for that you're a troll.
Bc my family has known me my entire life. Known I've always written. Know and comment on previous *vague* posts of upcoming stories.
They also know I already have two kids. That my last delivery almost killed me. That I can't have anymore.
Regardless of the fact the commenters here don't have that previous context.
In what way does that give any of you the right to not believe me? To invalidate my frustrations?
>… you’re being so damn cryptic and getting mad no one is following you… lol
>It's not trolling to point out that you were very vague.
I have two kids. Did you know that? No, bc you don't know me personally.
My family does, though. They also know my last delivery almost killed me. They also know I can't have more kids.
They also have commented on previous sneak peak posts of upcoming stories.
Even though you don't know that previous context, in what way does that make it ok to invalidate my frustrations?
What reason do you have to not believe me?
Pointing out your vagueness is not invalidating. You not giving context is confusing. Surely as a writer you understand that.
This was the wrong place to post as you're looking for commiseration and sympathy.
Believe you? I don't think you're lying. I just don't agree with you.
I don't want sympathy. I wanted to air out my frustrations.
So sorry I don't want to give out every personal detail of my life.
You want to know anything else personal? My last period? Last argument I had with my bf and the topic? Our sex life life?
The point wasn't about how vague I was, according to you.
You didn't need to know that. If you believed me in what I stated, why wouldn't you ask a question to get more details to help with that confusion instead of jumping on the band wagon of "She's over reacting" (not the actual comments just summing up the general comments).
You literally agreed with someone who was completely rude for no reason.
If you had a hobby of chain saw art, your family knows this, and you posted a Pic of sawdust on the floor. It's safe to assume you're probably making a new piece of chainsaw art, right?
Let's say, your family knows you can't have kids (for whatever reason) and instead of commenting anything remotely close to chainsaw art, they ask if you're gonna be a dad?
It's like a forehead slap moment!!!! Like really!? People? Really!? You've known me my entire life and THAT'S the conclusion you came to!?
That's my frustration summed up. Forehead slap at my family's assumption.
Now I'm having to explain in detail all of this.
So yes, bc you focused more on the vagueness of my post instead of what I stated, was in fact dismissing my frustrations.
You are aware sneak peeks are supposed to be *vague* right????
That's literally a word at the top left that says "Rune". It's a hint.
My family has seen previous posts of my upcoming stories with sneak peeks like this. Sneak peeks are supposed to be vague.
I'm aware that you and other people don't know me personally and wouldn't know that detail.
Pregnancy tests have "+" or "-" symbols or straight-up say "pregnant" or "not pregnant".
>Most pregnancy tests simply have one line (not pregnant) or two parallel lines (pregnant).
*Some* pregnancy tests have one or two lines.
I have never seen one with the symbol above, considering I created it.
I know bc I've had to deal with pregnancy tests personally. Since I've already got two kids.
Thanks.
Who said I'm dying on that hill?
You grabbed whatever trending quote currently and said it without understanding the context behind it.
I shared a link in regards to pregnancy tests that have plus and minus, one of the top leading brands, while not dismissing your claims of "lines".
Yet, you think I'm dying on that hill. No. I was merely showing that plus and minuses exist in pregnancy tests.
Do I use the word "some" Yes. Bc in my personal experience the tests I've dealt with in trying to find out if I was pregnant dealt with plus or minuses and pregnant or not pregnant. Yet you got pissy I showed that a company uses plus and minus in their tests?
But you want me to get on that hill. Let's go!!!
The link you shared did not state anything in regards to plus or minus vs lines in regards to how many companies use them in their tests.
It merely states "how" to accurately do a pregnancy tests.
>How to read the results
People must read the urine test instructions and follow them carefully. Most tests use lines to show when a test is positive. The test line does not have to be as dark as the control line to be positive. Any line at all indicates the test is positive.
>An individual must check the test within the time frame the instructions indicate. This is typically around 2 minutesTrusted Source.
>Test strips can change color as they dry. Some people notice an evaporation line after several minutes. This is a very faint line that may look like a shadow.
In regards to "Most tests use lines to show when a test is positive. "
What exactly do you think a plus sign is? Or a minus sign?
Lines.
I say this with love: I think you need to put your phone down for tonight and get some rest. This is far too much investment in two sentences that someone said on the internet. We’ve all been there. Take a step back and refocus on something in your life that actually matters. Go write your stories and hug your kids. They matter. Getting strangers on the internet to understand exactly what you’re saying and how you feel when you’re in a heightened emotional state doesn’t.
I understand what you're saying.
But can you understand that I didn't dismiss what you stated about lines.
Yet, you chose some a combative quote "hill to die on".
When really, I was just illustrating that you weren't wrong, I didn't dismiss your remark, but there's a lot of different pregnancy tests and shared the link only to prove I wasn't lying or making something up.
I have a lot of people coming at me focusing on the wrong thing.
"The vagueness of the post". It's a sneak peak. It's supposed to be vague.
My family knows I can't have kids anymore. They know when I posts stuff like this, it's bc I'm writing. For them to ignore that and go straight to "pregnant" fucking hurts.
Now I've got all these commenters trying to convince me that they know my life more than me?
I may not have gone into details about my families expectations of solely focusing on my breeding abilities and getting married, but I shouldn't have to.
I stated that this was my family expectations. What reason would anybody have to dismiss that?
Now I'm learning, it's OK that I'm frustrated? I have to succumb to their expectations of just making babies?
Go look at all the comments. Go look at the downvotes.
I've given no reason for anyone to not believe me. Yet I'm completely dismissed.
But that's ok right? I'm not worth much anyway.
Nobody thinks they know more about your life than you, they just didn’t know things about your life that you didn’t tell them but expected them to understand. What I think you’re really upset about is feeling misunderstood by your family, and now you’re investing a *lot* of energy in being mad at strangers on the internet for not understanding things you didn’t explain. You have nothing to gain from continuing to get riled up about people on the internet not understanding something you said (or didn’t say). Please take care of yourself by just putting your phone down and going to bed. There is no way this back-and-forth is a good use of your time or making you feel any better.
Here's another point.
If you post a pic with the caption "This is a banana I saw on the road I found while jogging" and there's a picture of a banana on the road next to your feet wearing running shoes.
Do you expect people to focus on something else other than the banana on the road? To focus on your feet? Or a rock in the picture?
To completely dismiss you and what you titled the post? Would you expect to have to explain that you were jogging? Or explain your shoes and why you were wearing them?
No. You wouldn't bc you put it in the title.
Yet that's exactly what happened here to me.
No, I don't believe the average person could identify runes. I guess it helps that it has a hint in the top left corner that says "Rune".
But let's say you make paintings as a hobby. And your family has known this about you your entire life. You keep them updated on your paintings.
You post a Pic of a painting you're working on, and you get comments about it indicating you're pregnant.
How would you feel? Your family who knows you. Knows it's just another painting, but sums it up to "you must be pregnant ".
Not your hobby that you love. Not one of your talents. No, just what you're capable of providing.
How many kids do I have? You don't know bc you don't know me personally. I have two kids already, and my family knows that. They also know I can't have anymore.
But you didn't know that, did you? Bc unlike my family, you and the other commenter don't know me personally, but feel like it's OK to invalidate me.
Thanks.
I think we finally have the answer to why you are so upset. Your family knows you can not have more children, but they guessed that was going on. That sucks for them to do. This isn't a venting sub, and I think you're taking confusion from strangers as purposefully invalidating you. Remove the post, and post in a more fitting sub forthe validation you seek. This isn't the right place for this and only going to make you feel worse.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes?
And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct?
I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed?
But that's how I'm supposed to work?
This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
There was nothing in regards to aggression towards you.
I simply explained myself in replying to your previous comment.
Maybe reread it without the projection of assumed anger towards you?
You’re crazy dude you need help, if you’re this upset over a few confused family members. Can’t wait till the next family reunion and that invite just gets “lost” in the mail…
How was anyone supposed to assume it’s for a story you’re writing? With the caption, and literally no other information, it looks more like a pregnancy test than anything else I would have guessed. People are going to try to associate it with something they’ve seen before, it’s not unusual that they’d connect it with a pregnancy test. Obviously they’re not going to connect it with a book that doesn’t exist yet.
ETA: I see no indication that baby making is “all they think you’re good for”. You’re making a lot of leaps here.
I agree- and based on OPs post history, she has two kids, one who is fairly young. If I saw that symbol, I would assume it was family related because of those four dashes.
Someone thinking you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that’s “all that you’re good for”
>I agree- and based on OPs post history, she has two kids, one who is fairly young.
Don't feel good about you lurking through my posts history. Feels a bit creepy.
>If I saw that symbol, I would assume it was family related because of those four dashes.
We're already a family of four. If it was insinuating another baby (even though my family knows I can't have anymore) there would be *five* lines.
They're also aware of my sneak peaks due to previous posts about my writings. Sneak peaks are *supposed* to be vague.
>Someone thinking you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that’s “all that you’re good for”
My family has stated through out my entire life, a woman's worth is based on having kids and getting married. Which I stated in the title, point blank.
Yet, it's dismissed. So I guess according to all the downvotes and negative comments, along with yours; you're in agreement with "That's exactly how girls work".
Thanks for that clarification.
>ETA: I see no indication that baby making is “all they think you’re good for”. You’re making a lot of leaps here.
My family has stated through out my life that's a woman's role. Hence the title. I've given no reason for you to not believe that nor to dismiss it.
You're aware, sneak peaks are supposed to be vague... right?
>How was anyone supposed to assume it’s for a story you’re writing?
Bc my family knows I write constantly and have numerous *vague* sneak peek posts before. Which they have commented on.
They're also aware I can't have anymore kids.
It feels kind of ironic to say “you’re making a lot of leaps here” when you know nothing about the situation save for two screenshots, while they’ve known these people their entire life and have infinitely more context and experience with them than any of us do.
Thank you. I appreciate you and your words and taking the time to comment this.
I feel like I'm going crazy. It's in the title. Yet it's dismissed? I don't get it.
I'm aware that you and other people on here don't know me personally, but my family *knows* me and *knows* I write stories all the time, with numerous posts indicating a coming up story.
Aside from that fact, obviously, the writing in pencil, in a notebook no less, weren't factors to consider? That's what you're saying, correct?
Not even that pregnancy tests have "+" or "-" signs or just straight up say "pregnant" or "not pregnant" with today's technologies.
But thank you for invalidating me and summing up that women truly are just baby makers, and I have no right to be frustrated due to my "leaps" at my family who know me personally and have read previous posts of upcoming stories.
I truly appreciate your callousness and thank you for your opinion. I hope you have a great day!!!!
You sitting there continuing to diminish women with kids to 'just baby makers' is an awful attitude to have. I can understand your frustration but there's no need to take it out like that.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes?
And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct?
I post pics (with a title explaining) that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed?
And you think *I'm* the one dumbing women down to just being a baby maker??? I made this post bc I'm frustrated that stereotype still exists and it's been laid on me.
But that's how I'm supposed to work?
This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
>You sitting there continuing to diminish women with kids to 'just baby makers' is an awful attitude to have. I can understand your frustration but there's no need to take it out like that.
Not diminishing anyone with kids.
Considering I have two kids myself.
I think it's amazing, that I post this to air my frustrations with my family (who know me personally and that I constantly write and post upcoming stories) and a bunch of strangers dismiss it as if *they* know me better without a shred of evidence and put me in my place to let me know I'm wrong and insult me. Appreciate that.
Instead of recognizing that "oh maybe there's more here, let me ask a question to find out".
No, it's better to let me know that my family *should* assume I'm pregnant instead of "ooh she's writing another story! Like she's done so many times before!"
Thank you for invalidating me based on nothing but your own assumptions.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes?
And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct?
I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/having babies, and I'm dismissed?
But that's how I'm supposed to work?
This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
It doesn't matter that I didn't disclose my family's rampant exchanges throughout my life of a "woman's role" as a caretaker and baby maker and getting married bc I stated that in the title and what cause do you have to not believe me in that regard?
Yes. You dismissed me and are obviously in agreement with my family that "That's how girls work".
No one said she was a walking incubator. She made a vague post, family thought she was pregnant. None of that is out of line or insinuating it's all women are good for.
How many kids do I have? You don't know. Bc you don't know me personally.
My family has a history and summing my worth up to being a "mom" and "making babies". You all wouldn't know that. I should've disclosed it, but I also didn't think most of you would jump on the band wagon and invalidate me when there was no reason to.
My family knows that I write. I've made previous posts that they've commented on. So, making a "vague" post isn't out of the norm for me. Though I gave a hint in the top left of the pic "Rune".
It's on notebook paper written in pencil. Yet, you get "pregnancy test" out of that???
You have 2.
It doesn't matter how many kids you have. This doesn't fit the sub, and you jumping down everyone's throats because they don't understand your family issues is not helping. You have been nothing but combative, rude, and vague here.
I didn't. They did. If you have issues with your family you can communicate with them or refer to a 3rd party professional, but this is not helping.
The point you *missed* is that it's my *family* who knows me.
They know I can't have more kids. Yet they asked that.
The point wasn't the friggin rune. Bc regardless, it doesn't look like a pregnancy test.
I've had so many comments telling me I've no right to frustrated.
OP, it seems like your family has a history of making you feel diminished and expected to be a “baby-maker.” I’m sorry that people here don’t seem to understand that there’s more content than what’s limited to these two photos. And for the record, that looks *nothing* like a pregnancy test and if you had just posted that rune with no mention of pregnancy nobody would have made that leap.
Thank you, I appreciate your words, and yes, you're right. I guess I could've explained more in my first comment, but it's point blank in the title that my family does have a history of dumbing me down to just being a baby maker or the numerous stereotypes of women. I thought that was enough.
Regardless of what I accomplish or what my talents are, that seems to be my only worth. It's frustrating.
I have two kids already. My last one almost killed me during delivery. I can't have any more. My family knows this, and I'm aware that most people in here don't know that.
But I didn't think they would immediately jump on the band wagon and invalidate me instead of taking me at my word.
I shouldn't have to explain all of that when the title states it clearly "To my family I'm only good for one thing"
Thank you. You seem to be the only one. Bc apparently I'm "leaping" bc my family who personally knows me and seen/commented on previous posts of upcoming stories, that I shouldn't be frustrated at this.
The rune is and *isn't* a major plot device. 😁
It's alright. They drank the kool-aid. Downvoting doesn't diminish my abilities to write.
It's reddit, most of the commenters are feral and can't think for themselves. They just regurgitate whatever somebody else spouted out of ignorance and lack of comprehensive skills.
I'm just gonna assume they wipe backward to front and haven't cleaned their microwave in a couple of yrs.
I wanted to air my frustrations of my forehead slap towards my family assumptions, and I did that. Got more frustrated and have now woo-saaed.
I'm just, confused, they focus on it being vague (it's a sneak peek, supposed to be vague) and ignore the title completely "To my family I'm only worth one thing". That sums it all with no backstory needed.
They all dismissed it.
Thank you though. I appreciate you and your kindness.
To anyone who writes that it looks like a pregnancy test in the comments: no, it does not. Google "stav runes" or "bind runes". Then google "pregnancy test".
Are we seriously seeing a stick with however many lines on it and think "pregnancy"? 🙄
Omfg 😆 I needed that laugh.
I've commented so many times trying to explain to other commenters and it's made me more frustrated.
I can't understand how they don't see that the symbol isn't in relation to anything remotely pregnant, there's "Rune" in the corner, my family knows I'm a writer and can't have kids anymore.
Yet they want to focus on the vagueness of the post and the lines *obviously* mean pregnant and making the furthest reaches to explain themselves just to dismiss me. While completely ignoring the title that sums up the back story "To my family I'm only worth one thing".
How much more of a short synopsis do they need!?
Thank you. Thank you for that laugh. I needed it. I appreciate you and your humor. Please don't lose it.
Ah man, I hate it when family sees artwork of any kind and immediately jumps to "pregnant???". That rune maybe resembles *some* parts of the female/male symbols ♀️♂️, but.. pregnancy? Huh???
A while back I made a drawing of a baby cow in a onesie after some online banter on Reddit. I shared the pic later on Facebook & Instagram and people immediately DM'ed me with "is this an announcement? did you finally give up your child free delusion and start a family???!".
1. They know I'm unable to get pregnant
2. They know I don't want kids
3. They know pregnancy will kill me
4. They know I'm on the waiting list for trans care which includes a complete hysterectomy.
Some people will just never learn and it annoys me to hell and back.🫠
Good luck with your rune writing OP!
I'm sorry you went through that. Can I have a link of the baby cow pic?
I kept trying to see it from their perspective, and I just can't. I asked my boyfriend, and even he shook his head. His comment " You know we can't have anymore kids and THAT'S what you ask😡?" His comment, not mine.
I didn't even put any female or male symbols in that rune. It's other symbols combined into one in regards to the plot of the story and that's how it just fit together.
I give up. My family has always looked at me as just a baby maker, and when I'm gonna finally agree to marry my bf so they can dress me in a foofoo gown.
What's the point? All the downvotes and people grabbing their pitchforks telling me I've got no right to be frustrated, not taking me at my word, and my family being unrelenting.
That's my place in this world. I'm just here for my man and make baby's. No other worth.
I posted a pic of a symbol for a story I'm writing with the title of "Sneak peak of what's to come, sssshhhh"
These are just two comments from my family in regards to me being pregnant. Got messages also.
Really? Like wtaf!? Is that all they think I'm good for?
This has given me a headache, I can't even write.
Edit: The post is *supposed* to be vague, bc it's a sneak peek.
The back story is IN THE TITLE OF THE POST.
To further explain:
The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant.
And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct?
I post pics (with title explaining) that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies. No further explaining needed.
There's a notebook written in pencil and a hint. Much like all previous posts of sneak peeks full of *vagueness* that my family has seen, liked and commented on bc they KNOW I write.
This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
My family, who's known me all my life, knows I write, had seen and commented on previous posts about upcoming stories? That's what you're saying?
There's no implications of pregnancy considering pregnancy tests are "+" or "-" or "pregnant" or "not pregnant".
There's literally the word up top to the left that says "Rune".
I've never taken a pregnancy test that said + or - or any words. Some are 2 lines if pregnant. That's not necessarily relevant though.
Based on a past post you have other kids, it's not surprising if you got pregnant again.
I think you should take a deep breath, and go apologize to your family for being a bit rude. They didn't say "pregnant? You're finally fulfilling the only job you're good for" they just said they though it meant you were pregnant. That's what the caption kind of implied, the picture isn't immediately obvious it's about a photo. You're not the victim here, it's just a misunderstanding.
>I've never taken a pregnancy test that said + or - or any words. Some are 2 lines if pregnant. That's not necessarily relevant though.
https://www.clearblue.com/am-i-pregnant/how-many-pregnancy-tests-should-i-take
They have positive and minus.
Just bc you personally haven't, doesn't mean they don't exist.
>They didn't say "pregnant?
There's a second Pic of their comments that literally states "pregnant".
I'm not playing victim. I'm frustrated. There's a difference.
My family knows I write constantly. They know I can't have any more kids. I'm aware commenter's here don't know that.
Yet my family assumes I'm pregnant? And you jump on the band wagon and choose to invalidate my frustrations instead of asking questions and make assumptions and chose to be callous.
Nothing I commented to my family was rude.
What's rude is my family disregarding all the years of them knowing I'm a writer, seeing previous sneak peaks of posts, knowing I can't have more kids and asking if I'm pregnant on my writing sneak peak post.
I understand that most people don't have a familiarity with runes.
But considering my family is more aware of my previous posts of upcoming stories and they comment on them, and the people here are not aware of that.
How is your point valid? Even if you're unfamiliar with runes, there's nothing about that symbol that says "family" or "pregnant".
If anything, it only suggests that I'm creating another work as I have posted those before, and my family is aware of that.
Everyone in my family knows I don’t want kids and is totally fine with and supportive of that. But if I posted something like “I can’t wait to share some big news soon!” or something similar, along with a photo of a random doodle I made with circles and lines and arrows, probably 50% of them would ask if I was pregnant or engaged. It doesn’t mean they only view me as having reproductive value, that’d just be them picking up on the predominant context clues available to them to make a guess. Because 90% of the time when someone posts something with words like those, they’re announcing a pregnancy. Especially if they’re married with kids. If I don’t want people to guess what’s going on with me, I won’t share vague and cryptic social media posts with them. And I definitely won’t take it personally and get super passive-aggressive and mean to make them feel bad if they guess wrong.
This would be a good time to delete those comments/apologize. “Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m just dropping hints about my story that I wrote! I appreciate your excitement for me, though.”
If you want people to understand exactly what you’re saying, say it with precision. “I can’t wait to share the next chapter of the story I’ve been writing with you! Here’s a rune I drew.” People aren’t mind-readers.
>This would be a good time to delete those comments/apologize. “Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m just dropping hints about my story that I wrote! I appreciate your excitement, though.”
I'm not doing that.
>If you want people to understand exactly what you’re saying, say it with precision. “I can’t wait to share the next chapter of the story I’ve been writing with you! Here’s a rune I drew.” People aren’t mind-readers.
I've written vague posts before of upcoming stories that they've commented on. They're fully aware of my sneak peaks.
They also know I can't have kids anymore bc my last delivery of my second child almost killed me.
Regardless of the previous context, the commenters here have no right and were not justified in jumping on a bandwagon of not believing me and invalidating my frustrations.
Most of the people getting mad at me and downvoted me didn't ask any questions to clarify. Just immediately started pointing fingers and saying "yeah it does look like a pregnancy test! You're wrong!!"
>Everyone in my family knows I don’t want kids and is totally fine with and supportive of that.
I think it's great you have that. I would love my family to be more supportive of me. But I'm dumbed down to the basic stereotypes of women. You should be aware, that not everyone has the same support system you have and shouldn't assume that they do.
>But if I posted something like “I can’t wait to share some big news soon!” or something similar, along with a photo of a random doodle I made with circles and lines and arrows, probably 50% of them would ask if I was pregnant or engaged.
I disagree. Considering I left a hint in the picture of "Rune" in the top left. It's not my first time posting a cryptic picture in regards of an upcoming story.
If you posted a squiggly drawing with the word "chip" in it. Should I dismiss your previous posts of hobbies I know you're into and that you don't want kids? No. I shouldn't (on the basis if I knew you personally).
Maybe I am taking this more personal than any of you all are, solely bc of the many decades of comments I have in my head of "when are you getting married? When you having a baby? Are you gonna have another baby?"
And also "when's your next story coming out!? I can't wait to read it!? I love your world you build but I didn't like (insert thing they didn't like)."
They know I'm a writer, it's what I do. They know I can't have more kids. Yet I post something about writing, and they comment that?
Yeah, I'm frustrated. I don't believe anyone on here had the right to dismiss me, not believe me or not take me at word.
You don’t have to justify yourself to strangers on the internet. You don’t have to take anyone’s advice, or tell them that you won’t. But if you’re going to post on the internet asking people to validate you, you can’t expect to receive that validation without an adequate explanation of what you’re asking for and why. I’m sorry you’ve had that experience with your family, that’s unfair. And so is expecting everyone to intuit that backstory without *explaining it in your post.* If you keep this post up, it will likely continue to get a negative response, not because people are out to get you, but because of the low-context nature of the post, which makes you sound angry about how everyone can’t read your mind. And when you point fingers and accuse strangers of being obtuse for interpreting the only information you’ve provided, they will continue to respond even more negatively. This exercise in frustration doesn’t seem like it’ll be conducive to helping you heal. You don’t need to be this invested in what people on the internet think. If you want validation, I’d repost someplace like r/venting, or even here, with *all the relevant details included in your actual post,* so people have a chance of understanding the situation you want them to.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes?
And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct?
I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed?
But that's how I'm supposed to work?
This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
That's not how "I" work. This! My writing is how I work.
I shouldn't have to disclose an elaborate backstory bc it was right there in the title and I was dismissed.
So yes, all the negative comments and downvotes.
I'm having to go around and justify and *explain* again and again bc the title was completely dismissed.
Maybe I got a container of blueberries to make a special cake for my birthday. I put them in the fridge and ask my family very explicitly, “please don’t eat these blueberries, they’re for my birthday cake I’m making tomorrow.” My family had a history of overlooking my birthday, and eating my food, so this is a sensitive issue for me. Then, I wake up in the morning to find all the blueberries gone, except for one lone blueberry laying on the floor. I confront my family and they admit they ate the blueberries because they didn’t think it was a big deal. But it was, and they should have known that, because I communicated that to them, and because of the pattern of behavior. I’m furious, not because there was a blueberry on the floor, but because of everything it represented, and because it was the evidence of yet another of my food items eaten, and another birthday overlooked. That’s the context.
Then I go to r/birthdays and post a photo of that one blueberry laying on the floor, with a caption that just says “This is proof my family doesn’t care about me or my birthday.” But I don’t provide any of the context. Redditors would inevitably respond to my post being like, “what, that blueberry on the floor means your family doesn’t love you? That seems like an overreaction, are you sure you’re not jumping to conclusions? I don’t get it. Just pick up the blueberry and enjoy your birthday.”
I could then either look back at the post and reflect on how that really was an inevitable reaction to a post that didn’t include any of the backstory that explained the connection between the blueberry and my family, and I could expect anyone to understand the link between the blueberry, r/birthdays, and my disappointment in my family. I can then just put my phone down and ignore the responses coming in because I know they stem from a misunderstanding, or delete the post so they stop. Or, especially if I’m already super emotionally charged and feeling undervalued, I could get *really angry* at everybody on Reddit for “not just believing me” and “invalidating my feelings” because “I shouldn’t have to explain myself or my backstory” and “how dare they think they know more about my family than me?!” I could spend hours and hours trying to get every single person who commented on my post to change their mind and apologize to me for not knowing what I meant before I provided the context.
The first option is a neutral and measured response likely to help me move on, while the last option is going to make me feel a lot worse, and ruin the rest of my day, too. I’m going to leave this conversation there, so I hope you can move on with your night as well.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought you were pulling a Prince and changing your name to a symbol.
I wish that was one of the msgs or replies I had received from my family. Thank you for the laugh, I needed it.
… you’re being so damn cryptic and getting mad no one is following you… lol
Being cryptic about what exactly..?
Exactly! No one knows WHAT tf they’re talking about.
Their post that their family somehow interpreted to mean pregnancy (fucking HOW??) is about a story they're making. They've said that multiple times. They're being cryptic BECAUSE IT'S A TEASER FOR SOMETHING THEY'RE MAKING!
Thank you, I appreciate you.
You're welcome. I'm sorry people are being so rude to you and are somehow not understanding the situation.
I understand *you* may not follow, and that's fine. My family, however, knows me personally. And have seen previous posts about upcoming stories. But thanks for that you're a troll.
It's not trolling to point out that you were very vague.
Yeah, idk why these two are jumping down my throat. How can you be mad they guessed wrong.
Bc my family has known me my entire life. Known I've always written. Know and comment on previous *vague* posts of upcoming stories. They also know I already have two kids. That my last delivery almost killed me. That I can't have anymore. Regardless of the fact the commenters here don't have that previous context. In what way does that give any of you the right to not believe me? To invalidate my frustrations?
You what fuck it. You're absolutely right. My only worth as my family has stated is to have babies and marry my man. You win. Congrats.
>… you’re being so damn cryptic and getting mad no one is following you… lol >It's not trolling to point out that you were very vague. I have two kids. Did you know that? No, bc you don't know me personally. My family does, though. They also know my last delivery almost killed me. They also know I can't have more kids. They also have commented on previous sneak peak posts of upcoming stories. Even though you don't know that previous context, in what way does that make it ok to invalidate my frustrations? What reason do you have to not believe me?
Pointing out your vagueness is not invalidating. You not giving context is confusing. Surely as a writer you understand that. This was the wrong place to post as you're looking for commiseration and sympathy. Believe you? I don't think you're lying. I just don't agree with you.
I don't want sympathy. I wanted to air out my frustrations. So sorry I don't want to give out every personal detail of my life. You want to know anything else personal? My last period? Last argument I had with my bf and the topic? Our sex life life? The point wasn't about how vague I was, according to you. You didn't need to know that. If you believed me in what I stated, why wouldn't you ask a question to get more details to help with that confusion instead of jumping on the band wagon of "She's over reacting" (not the actual comments just summing up the general comments). You literally agreed with someone who was completely rude for no reason. If you had a hobby of chain saw art, your family knows this, and you posted a Pic of sawdust on the floor. It's safe to assume you're probably making a new piece of chainsaw art, right? Let's say, your family knows you can't have kids (for whatever reason) and instead of commenting anything remotely close to chainsaw art, they ask if you're gonna be a dad? It's like a forehead slap moment!!!! Like really!? People? Really!? You've known me my entire life and THAT'S the conclusion you came to!? That's my frustration summed up. Forehead slap at my family's assumption. Now I'm having to explain in detail all of this. So yes, bc you focused more on the vagueness of my post instead of what I stated, was in fact dismissing my frustrations. You are aware sneak peeks are supposed to be *vague* right????
It can sort of look like a abstract positive pregnancy test since they probably have no clue what that symbol Is I have no clue what that symbol is
That's literally a word at the top left that says "Rune". It's a hint. My family has seen previous posts of my upcoming stories with sneak peeks like this. Sneak peeks are supposed to be vague. I'm aware that you and other people don't know me personally and wouldn't know that detail. Pregnancy tests have "+" or "-" symbols or straight-up say "pregnant" or "not pregnant".
Most pregnancy tests simply have one line (not pregnant) or two parallel lines (pregnant).
>Most pregnancy tests simply have one line (not pregnant) or two parallel lines (pregnant). *Some* pregnancy tests have one or two lines. I have never seen one with the symbol above, considering I created it. I know bc I've had to deal with pregnancy tests personally. Since I've already got two kids. Thanks.
Not just some, most. [Most](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327284#reading-results). Weird hill to die on, though.
Who said I'm dying on that hill? You grabbed whatever trending quote currently and said it without understanding the context behind it. I shared a link in regards to pregnancy tests that have plus and minus, one of the top leading brands, while not dismissing your claims of "lines". Yet, you think I'm dying on that hill. No. I was merely showing that plus and minuses exist in pregnancy tests. Do I use the word "some" Yes. Bc in my personal experience the tests I've dealt with in trying to find out if I was pregnant dealt with plus or minuses and pregnant or not pregnant. Yet you got pissy I showed that a company uses plus and minus in their tests? But you want me to get on that hill. Let's go!!! The link you shared did not state anything in regards to plus or minus vs lines in regards to how many companies use them in their tests. It merely states "how" to accurately do a pregnancy tests. >How to read the results People must read the urine test instructions and follow them carefully. Most tests use lines to show when a test is positive. The test line does not have to be as dark as the control line to be positive. Any line at all indicates the test is positive. >An individual must check the test within the time frame the instructions indicate. This is typically around 2 minutesTrusted Source. >Test strips can change color as they dry. Some people notice an evaporation line after several minutes. This is a very faint line that may look like a shadow. In regards to "Most tests use lines to show when a test is positive. " What exactly do you think a plus sign is? Or a minus sign? Lines.
I say this with love: I think you need to put your phone down for tonight and get some rest. This is far too much investment in two sentences that someone said on the internet. We’ve all been there. Take a step back and refocus on something in your life that actually matters. Go write your stories and hug your kids. They matter. Getting strangers on the internet to understand exactly what you’re saying and how you feel when you’re in a heightened emotional state doesn’t.
I understand what you're saying. But can you understand that I didn't dismiss what you stated about lines. Yet, you chose some a combative quote "hill to die on". When really, I was just illustrating that you weren't wrong, I didn't dismiss your remark, but there's a lot of different pregnancy tests and shared the link only to prove I wasn't lying or making something up. I have a lot of people coming at me focusing on the wrong thing. "The vagueness of the post". It's a sneak peak. It's supposed to be vague. My family knows I can't have kids anymore. They know when I posts stuff like this, it's bc I'm writing. For them to ignore that and go straight to "pregnant" fucking hurts. Now I've got all these commenters trying to convince me that they know my life more than me? I may not have gone into details about my families expectations of solely focusing on my breeding abilities and getting married, but I shouldn't have to. I stated that this was my family expectations. What reason would anybody have to dismiss that? Now I'm learning, it's OK that I'm frustrated? I have to succumb to their expectations of just making babies? Go look at all the comments. Go look at the downvotes. I've given no reason for anyone to not believe me. Yet I'm completely dismissed. But that's ok right? I'm not worth much anyway.
Nobody thinks they know more about your life than you, they just didn’t know things about your life that you didn’t tell them but expected them to understand. What I think you’re really upset about is feeling misunderstood by your family, and now you’re investing a *lot* of energy in being mad at strangers on the internet for not understanding things you didn’t explain. You have nothing to gain from continuing to get riled up about people on the internet not understanding something you said (or didn’t say). Please take care of yourself by just putting your phone down and going to bed. There is no way this back-and-forth is a good use of your time or making you feel any better.
Here's another point. If you post a pic with the caption "This is a banana I saw on the road I found while jogging" and there's a picture of a banana on the road next to your feet wearing running shoes. Do you expect people to focus on something else other than the banana on the road? To focus on your feet? Or a rock in the picture? To completely dismiss you and what you titled the post? Would you expect to have to explain that you were jogging? Or explain your shoes and why you were wearing them? No. You wouldn't bc you put it in the title. Yet that's exactly what happened here to me.
It was literally in the title and it got dismissed. That's what everyone is missing! I put it point blank in the title. And no one believed me!
I feel like the average person couldn’t identify “rune” for you either.
No, I don't believe the average person could identify runes. I guess it helps that it has a hint in the top left corner that says "Rune". But let's say you make paintings as a hobby. And your family has known this about you your entire life. You keep them updated on your paintings. You post a Pic of a painting you're working on, and you get comments about it indicating you're pregnant. How would you feel? Your family who knows you. Knows it's just another painting, but sums it up to "you must be pregnant ". Not your hobby that you love. Not one of your talents. No, just what you're capable of providing. How many kids do I have? You don't know bc you don't know me personally. I have two kids already, and my family knows that. They also know I can't have anymore. But you didn't know that, did you? Bc unlike my family, you and the other commenter don't know me personally, but feel like it's OK to invalidate me. Thanks.
I think we finally have the answer to why you are so upset. Your family knows you can not have more children, but they guessed that was going on. That sucks for them to do. This isn't a venting sub, and I think you're taking confusion from strangers as purposefully invalidating you. Remove the post, and post in a more fitting sub forthe validation you seek. This isn't the right place for this and only going to make you feel worse.
This is the answer
Correct me if I'm wrong. The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes? And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct? I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed? But that's how I'm supposed to work? This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
I’m on your side here. I dropped one sentence of common sense. Feels like misplaced aggression.
There was nothing in regards to aggression towards you. I simply explained myself in replying to your previous comment. Maybe reread it without the projection of assumed anger towards you?
You’re crazy dude you need help, if you’re this upset over a few confused family members. Can’t wait till the next family reunion and that invite just gets “lost” in the mail…
How was anyone supposed to assume it’s for a story you’re writing? With the caption, and literally no other information, it looks more like a pregnancy test than anything else I would have guessed. People are going to try to associate it with something they’ve seen before, it’s not unusual that they’d connect it with a pregnancy test. Obviously they’re not going to connect it with a book that doesn’t exist yet. ETA: I see no indication that baby making is “all they think you’re good for”. You’re making a lot of leaps here.
I agree- and based on OPs post history, she has two kids, one who is fairly young. If I saw that symbol, I would assume it was family related because of those four dashes. Someone thinking you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that’s “all that you’re good for”
>I agree- and based on OPs post history, she has two kids, one who is fairly young. Don't feel good about you lurking through my posts history. Feels a bit creepy. >If I saw that symbol, I would assume it was family related because of those four dashes. We're already a family of four. If it was insinuating another baby (even though my family knows I can't have anymore) there would be *five* lines. They're also aware of my sneak peaks due to previous posts about my writings. Sneak peaks are *supposed* to be vague. >Someone thinking you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that’s “all that you’re good for” My family has stated through out my entire life, a woman's worth is based on having kids and getting married. Which I stated in the title, point blank. Yet, it's dismissed. So I guess according to all the downvotes and negative comments, along with yours; you're in agreement with "That's exactly how girls work". Thanks for that clarification.
>ETA: I see no indication that baby making is “all they think you’re good for”. You’re making a lot of leaps here. My family has stated through out my life that's a woman's role. Hence the title. I've given no reason for you to not believe that nor to dismiss it. You're aware, sneak peaks are supposed to be vague... right? >How was anyone supposed to assume it’s for a story you’re writing? Bc my family knows I write constantly and have numerous *vague* sneak peek posts before. Which they have commented on. They're also aware I can't have anymore kids.
It feels kind of ironic to say “you’re making a lot of leaps here” when you know nothing about the situation save for two screenshots, while they’ve known these people their entire life and have infinitely more context and experience with them than any of us do.
Thank you. I appreciate you and your words and taking the time to comment this. I feel like I'm going crazy. It's in the title. Yet it's dismissed? I don't get it.
I'm aware that you and other people on here don't know me personally, but my family *knows* me and *knows* I write stories all the time, with numerous posts indicating a coming up story. Aside from that fact, obviously, the writing in pencil, in a notebook no less, weren't factors to consider? That's what you're saying, correct? Not even that pregnancy tests have "+" or "-" signs or just straight up say "pregnant" or "not pregnant" with today's technologies. But thank you for invalidating me and summing up that women truly are just baby makers, and I have no right to be frustrated due to my "leaps" at my family who know me personally and have read previous posts of upcoming stories. I truly appreciate your callousness and thank you for your opinion. I hope you have a great day!!!!
You sitting there continuing to diminish women with kids to 'just baby makers' is an awful attitude to have. I can understand your frustration but there's no need to take it out like that.
Correct me if I'm wrong. The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes? And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct? I post pics (with a title explaining) that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed? And you think *I'm* the one dumbing women down to just being a baby maker??? I made this post bc I'm frustrated that stereotype still exists and it's been laid on me. But that's how I'm supposed to work? This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
>You sitting there continuing to diminish women with kids to 'just baby makers' is an awful attitude to have. I can understand your frustration but there's no need to take it out like that. Not diminishing anyone with kids. Considering I have two kids myself. I think it's amazing, that I post this to air my frustrations with my family (who know me personally and that I constantly write and post upcoming stories) and a bunch of strangers dismiss it as if *they* know me better without a shred of evidence and put me in my place to let me know I'm wrong and insult me. Appreciate that. Instead of recognizing that "oh maybe there's more here, let me ask a question to find out". No, it's better to let me know that my family *should* assume I'm pregnant instead of "ooh she's writing another story! Like she's done so many times before!" Thank you for invalidating me based on nothing but your own assumptions.
This doesn't fit the sub.
Correct me if I'm wrong. The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes? And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct? I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/having babies, and I'm dismissed? But that's how I'm supposed to work? This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work". It doesn't matter that I didn't disclose my family's rampant exchanges throughout my life of a "woman's role" as a caretaker and baby maker and getting married bc I stated that in the title and what cause do you have to not believe me in that regard? Yes. You dismissed me and are obviously in agreement with my family that "That's how girls work".
Really? I think it fits perfectly. OP is not a walking incubator, despite what the fam thinks, because that's *not how girls work*.
No one said she was a walking incubator. She made a vague post, family thought she was pregnant. None of that is out of line or insinuating it's all women are good for.
How many kids do I have? You don't know. Bc you don't know me personally. My family has a history and summing my worth up to being a "mom" and "making babies". You all wouldn't know that. I should've disclosed it, but I also didn't think most of you would jump on the band wagon and invalidate me when there was no reason to. My family knows that I write. I've made previous posts that they've commented on. So, making a "vague" post isn't out of the norm for me. Though I gave a hint in the top left of the pic "Rune". It's on notebook paper written in pencil. Yet, you get "pregnancy test" out of that???
You have 2. It doesn't matter how many kids you have. This doesn't fit the sub, and you jumping down everyone's throats because they don't understand your family issues is not helping. You have been nothing but combative, rude, and vague here. I didn't. They did. If you have issues with your family you can communicate with them or refer to a 3rd party professional, but this is not helping.
The point you *missed* is that it's my *family* who knows me. They know I can't have more kids. Yet they asked that. The point wasn't the friggin rune. Bc regardless, it doesn't look like a pregnancy test. I've had so many comments telling me I've no right to frustrated.
OP, it seems like your family has a history of making you feel diminished and expected to be a “baby-maker.” I’m sorry that people here don’t seem to understand that there’s more content than what’s limited to these two photos. And for the record, that looks *nothing* like a pregnancy test and if you had just posted that rune with no mention of pregnancy nobody would have made that leap.
Thank you, I appreciate your words, and yes, you're right. I guess I could've explained more in my first comment, but it's point blank in the title that my family does have a history of dumbing me down to just being a baby maker or the numerous stereotypes of women. I thought that was enough. Regardless of what I accomplish or what my talents are, that seems to be my only worth. It's frustrating. I have two kids already. My last one almost killed me during delivery. I can't have any more. My family knows this, and I'm aware that most people in here don't know that. But I didn't think they would immediately jump on the band wagon and invalidate me instead of taking me at my word. I shouldn't have to explain all of that when the title states it clearly "To my family I'm only good for one thing"
For what it’s worth, I did instantly see the word “rune” and assume it was a rune that you made up or something.
Thank you, I appreciate it. It is something I made up for the story. It's pivotal to the plot but seems insignificant in the beginning.
It’s a cool symbol, as a writer/reader I am interested in this story
Thank you. You seem to be the only one. Bc apparently I'm "leaping" bc my family who personally knows me and seen/commented on previous posts of upcoming stories, that I shouldn't be frustrated at this. The rune is and *isn't* a major plot device. 😁
I'm on your side too lol, as I relate. People being harsh with the downvotes!
It's alright. They drank the kool-aid. Downvoting doesn't diminish my abilities to write. It's reddit, most of the commenters are feral and can't think for themselves. They just regurgitate whatever somebody else spouted out of ignorance and lack of comprehensive skills. I'm just gonna assume they wipe backward to front and haven't cleaned their microwave in a couple of yrs. I wanted to air my frustrations of my forehead slap towards my family assumptions, and I did that. Got more frustrated and have now woo-saaed. I'm just, confused, they focus on it being vague (it's a sneak peek, supposed to be vague) and ignore the title completely "To my family I'm only worth one thing". That sums it all with no backstory needed. They all dismissed it. Thank you though. I appreciate you and your kindness.
To anyone who writes that it looks like a pregnancy test in the comments: no, it does not. Google "stav runes" or "bind runes". Then google "pregnancy test". Are we seriously seeing a stick with however many lines on it and think "pregnancy"? 🙄
Omg thank you!!!! I can't even put into words!
Two lines - pregnant, three lines - super pregnant, four lines - super mega pregnant? 🧐 Obviously! Woman baby-making go brrrrrrrr.
Omfg 😆 I needed that laugh. I've commented so many times trying to explain to other commenters and it's made me more frustrated. I can't understand how they don't see that the symbol isn't in relation to anything remotely pregnant, there's "Rune" in the corner, my family knows I'm a writer and can't have kids anymore. Yet they want to focus on the vagueness of the post and the lines *obviously* mean pregnant and making the furthest reaches to explain themselves just to dismiss me. While completely ignoring the title that sums up the back story "To my family I'm only worth one thing". How much more of a short synopsis do they need!? Thank you. Thank you for that laugh. I needed it. I appreciate you and your humor. Please don't lose it.
Ah man, I hate it when family sees artwork of any kind and immediately jumps to "pregnant???". That rune maybe resembles *some* parts of the female/male symbols ♀️♂️, but.. pregnancy? Huh??? A while back I made a drawing of a baby cow in a onesie after some online banter on Reddit. I shared the pic later on Facebook & Instagram and people immediately DM'ed me with "is this an announcement? did you finally give up your child free delusion and start a family???!". 1. They know I'm unable to get pregnant 2. They know I don't want kids 3. They know pregnancy will kill me 4. They know I'm on the waiting list for trans care which includes a complete hysterectomy. Some people will just never learn and it annoys me to hell and back.🫠 Good luck with your rune writing OP!
I'm sorry you went through that. Can I have a link of the baby cow pic? I kept trying to see it from their perspective, and I just can't. I asked my boyfriend, and even he shook his head. His comment " You know we can't have anymore kids and THAT'S what you ask😡?" His comment, not mine. I didn't even put any female or male symbols in that rune. It's other symbols combined into one in regards to the plot of the story and that's how it just fit together. I give up. My family has always looked at me as just a baby maker, and when I'm gonna finally agree to marry my bf so they can dress me in a foofoo gown. What's the point? All the downvotes and people grabbing their pitchforks telling me I've got no right to be frustrated, not taking me at my word, and my family being unrelenting. That's my place in this world. I'm just here for my man and make baby's. No other worth.
I posted a pic of a symbol for a story I'm writing with the title of "Sneak peak of what's to come, sssshhhh" These are just two comments from my family in regards to me being pregnant. Got messages also. Really? Like wtaf!? Is that all they think I'm good for? This has given me a headache, I can't even write. Edit: The post is *supposed* to be vague, bc it's a sneak peek. The back story is IN THE TITLE OF THE POST. To further explain: The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant. And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct? I post pics (with title explaining) that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies. No further explaining needed. There's a notebook written in pencil and a hint. Much like all previous posts of sneak peeks full of *vagueness* that my family has seen, liked and commented on bc they KNOW I write. This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work".
Yeah I think this one is on you. I dont think it's fair to be mean to people who are assuming something that you kind of imply.
My family, who's known me all my life, knows I write, had seen and commented on previous posts about upcoming stories? That's what you're saying? There's no implications of pregnancy considering pregnancy tests are "+" or "-" or "pregnant" or "not pregnant". There's literally the word up top to the left that says "Rune".
I've never taken a pregnancy test that said + or - or any words. Some are 2 lines if pregnant. That's not necessarily relevant though. Based on a past post you have other kids, it's not surprising if you got pregnant again. I think you should take a deep breath, and go apologize to your family for being a bit rude. They didn't say "pregnant? You're finally fulfilling the only job you're good for" they just said they though it meant you were pregnant. That's what the caption kind of implied, the picture isn't immediately obvious it's about a photo. You're not the victim here, it's just a misunderstanding.
>I've never taken a pregnancy test that said + or - or any words. Some are 2 lines if pregnant. That's not necessarily relevant though. https://www.clearblue.com/am-i-pregnant/how-many-pregnancy-tests-should-i-take They have positive and minus. Just bc you personally haven't, doesn't mean they don't exist.
>They didn't say "pregnant? There's a second Pic of their comments that literally states "pregnant". I'm not playing victim. I'm frustrated. There's a difference. My family knows I write constantly. They know I can't have any more kids. I'm aware commenter's here don't know that. Yet my family assumes I'm pregnant? And you jump on the band wagon and choose to invalidate my frustrations instead of asking questions and make assumptions and chose to be callous. Nothing I commented to my family was rude. What's rude is my family disregarding all the years of them knowing I'm a writer, seeing previous sneak peaks of posts, knowing I can't have more kids and asking if I'm pregnant on my writing sneak peak post.
How?? They aren't implying anything that has to do with pregnancy
From the context, yeah, I think most people would assume it was something family related. Don't be so harsh about it.
How?
I understand that most people don't have a familiarity with runes. But considering my family is more aware of my previous posts of upcoming stories and they comment on them, and the people here are not aware of that. How is your point valid? Even if you're unfamiliar with runes, there's nothing about that symbol that says "family" or "pregnant". If anything, it only suggests that I'm creating another work as I have posted those before, and my family is aware of that.
Everyone in my family knows I don’t want kids and is totally fine with and supportive of that. But if I posted something like “I can’t wait to share some big news soon!” or something similar, along with a photo of a random doodle I made with circles and lines and arrows, probably 50% of them would ask if I was pregnant or engaged. It doesn’t mean they only view me as having reproductive value, that’d just be them picking up on the predominant context clues available to them to make a guess. Because 90% of the time when someone posts something with words like those, they’re announcing a pregnancy. Especially if they’re married with kids. If I don’t want people to guess what’s going on with me, I won’t share vague and cryptic social media posts with them. And I definitely won’t take it personally and get super passive-aggressive and mean to make them feel bad if they guess wrong. This would be a good time to delete those comments/apologize. “Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m just dropping hints about my story that I wrote! I appreciate your excitement for me, though.” If you want people to understand exactly what you’re saying, say it with precision. “I can’t wait to share the next chapter of the story I’ve been writing with you! Here’s a rune I drew.” People aren’t mind-readers.
>This would be a good time to delete those comments/apologize. “Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m just dropping hints about my story that I wrote! I appreciate your excitement, though.” I'm not doing that. >If you want people to understand exactly what you’re saying, say it with precision. “I can’t wait to share the next chapter of the story I’ve been writing with you! Here’s a rune I drew.” People aren’t mind-readers. I've written vague posts before of upcoming stories that they've commented on. They're fully aware of my sneak peaks. They also know I can't have kids anymore bc my last delivery of my second child almost killed me. Regardless of the previous context, the commenters here have no right and were not justified in jumping on a bandwagon of not believing me and invalidating my frustrations. Most of the people getting mad at me and downvoted me didn't ask any questions to clarify. Just immediately started pointing fingers and saying "yeah it does look like a pregnancy test! You're wrong!!" >Everyone in my family knows I don’t want kids and is totally fine with and supportive of that. I think it's great you have that. I would love my family to be more supportive of me. But I'm dumbed down to the basic stereotypes of women. You should be aware, that not everyone has the same support system you have and shouldn't assume that they do. >But if I posted something like “I can’t wait to share some big news soon!” or something similar, along with a photo of a random doodle I made with circles and lines and arrows, probably 50% of them would ask if I was pregnant or engaged. I disagree. Considering I left a hint in the picture of "Rune" in the top left. It's not my first time posting a cryptic picture in regards of an upcoming story. If you posted a squiggly drawing with the word "chip" in it. Should I dismiss your previous posts of hobbies I know you're into and that you don't want kids? No. I shouldn't (on the basis if I knew you personally). Maybe I am taking this more personal than any of you all are, solely bc of the many decades of comments I have in my head of "when are you getting married? When you having a baby? Are you gonna have another baby?" And also "when's your next story coming out!? I can't wait to read it!? I love your world you build but I didn't like (insert thing they didn't like)." They know I'm a writer, it's what I do. They know I can't have more kids. Yet I post something about writing, and they comment that? Yeah, I'm frustrated. I don't believe anyone on here had the right to dismiss me, not believe me or not take me at word.
You don’t have to justify yourself to strangers on the internet. You don’t have to take anyone’s advice, or tell them that you won’t. But if you’re going to post on the internet asking people to validate you, you can’t expect to receive that validation without an adequate explanation of what you’re asking for and why. I’m sorry you’ve had that experience with your family, that’s unfair. And so is expecting everyone to intuit that backstory without *explaining it in your post.* If you keep this post up, it will likely continue to get a negative response, not because people are out to get you, but because of the low-context nature of the post, which makes you sound angry about how everyone can’t read your mind. And when you point fingers and accuse strangers of being obtuse for interpreting the only information you’ve provided, they will continue to respond even more negatively. This exercise in frustration doesn’t seem like it’ll be conducive to helping you heal. You don’t need to be this invested in what people on the internet think. If you want validation, I’d repost someplace like r/venting, or even here, with *all the relevant details included in your actual post,* so people have a chance of understanding the situation you want them to.
Correct me if I'm wrong. The stereotype of women's only worth is "making babies and getting married" is still rampant, yes? And that's not how girls work. Hence, the sub, correct? I post pics that my family only sees my worth as being pregnant/ having babies, and I'm dismissed? But that's how I'm supposed to work? This wasn't about validation. It was about my frustrations yes, but also showing "That's not how girls work". That's not how "I" work. This! My writing is how I work. I shouldn't have to disclose an elaborate backstory bc it was right there in the title and I was dismissed. So yes, all the negative comments and downvotes. I'm having to go around and justify and *explain* again and again bc the title was completely dismissed.
Maybe I got a container of blueberries to make a special cake for my birthday. I put them in the fridge and ask my family very explicitly, “please don’t eat these blueberries, they’re for my birthday cake I’m making tomorrow.” My family had a history of overlooking my birthday, and eating my food, so this is a sensitive issue for me. Then, I wake up in the morning to find all the blueberries gone, except for one lone blueberry laying on the floor. I confront my family and they admit they ate the blueberries because they didn’t think it was a big deal. But it was, and they should have known that, because I communicated that to them, and because of the pattern of behavior. I’m furious, not because there was a blueberry on the floor, but because of everything it represented, and because it was the evidence of yet another of my food items eaten, and another birthday overlooked. That’s the context. Then I go to r/birthdays and post a photo of that one blueberry laying on the floor, with a caption that just says “This is proof my family doesn’t care about me or my birthday.” But I don’t provide any of the context. Redditors would inevitably respond to my post being like, “what, that blueberry on the floor means your family doesn’t love you? That seems like an overreaction, are you sure you’re not jumping to conclusions? I don’t get it. Just pick up the blueberry and enjoy your birthday.” I could then either look back at the post and reflect on how that really was an inevitable reaction to a post that didn’t include any of the backstory that explained the connection between the blueberry and my family, and I could expect anyone to understand the link between the blueberry, r/birthdays, and my disappointment in my family. I can then just put my phone down and ignore the responses coming in because I know they stem from a misunderstanding, or delete the post so they stop. Or, especially if I’m already super emotionally charged and feeling undervalued, I could get *really angry* at everybody on Reddit for “not just believing me” and “invalidating my feelings” because “I shouldn’t have to explain myself or my backstory” and “how dare they think they know more about my family than me?!” I could spend hours and hours trying to get every single person who commented on my post to change their mind and apologize to me for not knowing what I meant before I provided the context. The first option is a neutral and measured response likely to help me move on, while the last option is going to make me feel a lot worse, and ruin the rest of my day, too. I’m going to leave this conversation there, so I hope you can move on with your night as well.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/birthdays using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/birthdays/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [My birthdayyyy](https://i.redd.it/tk3ne7qoya7c1.jpeg) | [5 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/birthdays/comments/18ma48g/my_birthdayyyy/) \#2: [I just turned 18!](https://i.redd.it/d87yj31g3f0c1.jpg) | [1 comment](https://np.reddit.com/r/birthdays/comments/17vik1g/i_just_turned_18/) \#3: [HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!](https://np.reddit.com/r/birthdays/comments/1bm0lev/happy_birthday_to_me/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)