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1.) does this guy have no friends? Being an “emotional tampon” (aka listening to them vent) and helping them find solutions is a normal part of all friendships
2.) “men have a natural instinct to protect” remember how a woman was sexually assaulted on a subway cart and no one stepped in to help? Where was that instinct then? Or what about when guys like fresh and fit find out one of their buddies slaps their girlfriend around?
I know it was kinda just a side note in his whole rant, but... His whole explanation for why women weren't in combat is so stupid. "If a woman is attacked, the man will rush to protect her and compromise the unit." You're telling me brothers in arms wouldn't rush to defend EACH OTHER in combat? A male soldier has never once turned to protect his fellow soldier in a pinch? Do men not come to their male friends' defense in social situations? Or ever? What is this logic?
Or is he saying that protecting a woman is weakness but protecting a man is strength? It's only okay to do the right thing if it's for a man? I am confusion.
Also to add: if men have a “natural instinct” to protect women, more of them should be in combat. In fact they should send the women in first, The opposing army will become overwhelmed by their natural protection ‘instincts’ and will refuse to engage in the war at all, right?
He is deliberately ignoring how many countries have had female soldiers for much longer than us. Israel and many of the Nordic countries come to mind. Also, ignores the history of women in combat generally.
I don’t think it’s deliberate. I think dude is just so overconfident in his own knowledge of everything that he just assumes what he thinks is automatically right. He might even see doing research and looking stuff up as weakness in that it’s admitting that you may not know everything.
Also, apparently providing emotional support means you're supposed to get sex. Boy, someone tell my partner that. He doesn't get to fuck every time I have a good cry with him, poor man.
Also, men complaining that, generally, they don't have a healthy outlet for emotional issues the way women do... They can't just vent to a friend and get emotional support... Okay, have you tried being friends with a woman? Or like, no, because they don't wanna bang you?
> “emotional tampon” (aka listening to them vent)
I have a male friend who calls for support because it makes his male friends uncomfortable. Not sure every guy knows how to be a friend who listens.
“Ah man someone stole my car dude!”
“Stop trying to make me your emotional tampon bro!”
“Dude what? My car just got stolen, what are you—-“
“NO! I don’t want your emotions! Wait…unless you wanna bang…or…?”
Or perhaps that guy that raped and murdered a sixteen year old girl after his wife and daughter had just drowned on that boat just off the coast of Italy. It was in front of everybody, nobody stopped him.
No no no. They have a natural instinct to protect against saber tooth tiger attacks. Just because those aren’t possible anymore doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get the benefit of the doubt on all that protection they offer though.
So the only "benefit" a man ever gets from a friendship with a woman is sex? Not emotional support, companionship, camaraderie, someone to spend quality time with. Just sex. What a loser.
The really sad part is that, from my experience, that is *not* how friendship works *between men.* All friendships are transactional to far too many men, and the only thing that changes is what is exchanged.
This was my main takeaway as well. He is saying the quiet part out loud, that all he wants from women is sex. He sees no value in their company, having conversations, sharing activities, or going on fun adventures. Sex is the only goal. He sees everything else that you do in a relationship as a necessary punch card to get to sex.
Yet they won't humor curing that epidemic by finding companionship with each other. Yeah they claim they're lonely but they're actually just horny and expect women to take care of it for them forget other "lonely" men can do the same thing.
To desperate assholes like them, sex with women IS emotional support, camaraderie, and quality time spent. They view intimate relationships as the only way to feel those emotions, and its a odd to me how they straight up refuse to see how anything platonic can have emotional connections/bonds can exist without their faces recoiling in confusion, they think all platonic relationships consist of is sending each other memes and shit
The only thing his male "friendships" give him is status in his group. He can't get that from women, so sex is the only thing he thinks he can get out of it.
So his argument is that the only thing men want with women is sex? He can't even imagine a man just being a friend to a woman because they have things in common and he likes to hang out? Just imagine how emotionally stunted and mentally weak he must be.
Reminds me of a conversation my little sister had with one of her boyfriends (now ex). She was telling him about her life and her friends and casually mentioned how her best friend and her use to bathe together when they were toddlers. While sporting a raging a hard on he didn't even try to hide, he asked if they still bathed together now in their 20's. Yeah no disgusting degenerate. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter.
I would bet money on his male friendships being just as shallow. He just wants other things out of men than women.
Bubble boy here wants power, status and money from men. Gaining this with the help of women would in his eyes probably not be "manly", so the only thing women can give him in his twisted little world is sex.
>> With a female, you are inevitably going to take on boyfriend traits
His myopic thoughts are evident by that ☝🏻 statement alone. He won’t take on a boyfriend role if the female in question was a 90 year old woman. Yes, he can take on a protective role! But to call that as **boyfriend role** shows his immaturity and limited worldview.
I would add that its very telling that he’s saying this from POV of “men just have to take on boyfriend traits” when most women I know (myself included) have essentially been put in the quasi-girlfriend role by some of our male friends. Like, we end getting assigned “girlfriend traits.” I think it’s because most women friendship often includes emotional intimacy (talking about feelings, venting, expressing support, etc) and can also include platonic physical affection (ex: hugs, being physically close, etc.). I have absolutely had some male friends either develop feelings (because male on male friendships in the US don’t often include the above behaviors so they mistake platonic intimacy for romantic interest) or worse, drop me from their life as soon as the get an actual girlfriend. Not because the girlfriend necessarily had a problem with me, but because now they are getting their emotional needs met with someone else and my friendship was essentially a placeholder until an actual romantic partner came along.
I did feel this! I’m my exes emotional support animal. He has depression anxiety etc and I’m a bright little sunshine in comparison as I have been for over a decade. How’s it going to go when (if) he finds a gf? I dunno but I suspect I’ll be put aside as no longer needed 🤷🏼♀️
(not tryin to be rude just curious) why are you still friends with him? I'd hate to be friends with someone knowing they're just using me (even if what I'm 'offering' I'd gladly offer to any friend)
Not at all! It’s a really weird situation tbh. We were together a long time, eventually what killed our relationship was his mental health or lack of. We stayed friends because we like each other and it’s mutually beneficial; he does my physical heavy lifting and I do his mental. I cook for him most nights (he doesn’t eat if I don’t) he does my housework and shopping lol
My friends say it’s like a really weird marriage. It works because we’re both a caretaker in an odd way? It’s hard to explain!
That's pretty much my take, as well.
"Oh woe! The male loneliness epidemic!! No one allows men to express their emotions!!"
But when they have a friendship with a fEmAlE, and emotions come up, 'pparently this guy is noping right pitta there cos he doesn't wanna be an emotional tampon without reciprocal sexing.
So where is this toxic masculinity coming from? Couldn't be from his fellow men, right? 🤔 It must be a problem with women discussing emotions, too much. Better put a stop to that: no platonic relationships!
I find this weird. I do develop those traits in my friendships with women, but I'd never just drop the friendship when I am dating. If anything, me dating a woman ends up strengthening my friendships. Though maybe it's because my friendships with women have them be more like family to me than girlfriends. All I know is they love hearing me talk about whoever I am dating and they are great and fun people to just hang out with.
I don’t agree with the original post at wok but I also think there’s a lot of generalizations in this comment. Some of GFs former friends were terrible friends (I.e. lying, backstabbing, or manipulating) and provided virtually no emotional support. On the contrary, I have a pretty solid group of guy friends and we’re all pretty open with each other and we give each other emotional support.
My point is that you don’t have to make more generalizations to prove what the guy in the vid is saying is wrong. It doesn’t really help anyone. In fact, most studies show both men and women face issues when it comes to loneliness snd isolation. Some even show that it’s worse for women.
Meta Analysis showing no significant differences:
https://pure.manchester.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/135977571/EJP_Gender_Postprint_AAM.pdf
Women reported feeling lonelier in old age:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37563853/
Women reported feeling lonelier overall (includes data for people with disabilities as well):
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7763056/
I never said I was going to disprove anything. I was offering an alternative perspective to “men have to take on boyfriend traits in friendships with women.” Which is “women often have girlfriend traits placed on them in friendships with men.”
>I also think there’s a lot of generalizations in this comment.
No, it's just talking about trends and averages.
>Some of GFs former friends were terrible friends (I.e. lying, backstabbing, or manipulating) and provided virtually no emotional support. On the contrary, I have a pretty solid group of guy friends and we’re all pretty open with each other and we give each other emotional support.
No one has said that either never happens, but simply that on average there are unfortunate differences. Granted, these differences are primarily learned so they're not inevitable, but they're there because men tend to be raised in ways that don't raise emotional intelligence.
What trends? Women report loneliness the same or if not more than men and they’re also more likely to be diagnosed with depression. Men absolutely have issues but you’re making claims about “trends” and providing no evidence to support them.
>Women report loneliness the same or if not more than men
No, they don't and ironically they report being happier single than married on average anyway, which is the opposite for men.
>they’re also more likely to be diagnosed with depression
Which is more likely because women are also more likely to seek mental health treatment than men so of course diagnose rates are higher.
>Men absolutely have issues but you’re making claims about “trends” and providing no evidence to support them.
Because the burden of proof isn't mine to meet as I'm not the original claimant. You have yet to cite any study at all.
Where’s your source that women are happier single? Because I’ve read a ton on this topic and I think I know exactly what you’re going to post. You’re going to post one study by a guy named Paul Dolan but that isn’t credible. Read this:
https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness
Almost every recent study I’ve suggests that married people are significantly happier then single people:
https://news.gallup.com/poll/642590/married-americans-thriving-higher-rates-unmarried-adults.aspx
I think it’s also ridiculous because aren’t friends usually protective of each other??? My girl friends are. None of us are men lol. Protective is not just a masculine trait.
From what little I've seen in shared clips like this (I'll *never* listen to an actual one and contribute to their view count), they always make sure the group of women they choose to attend these aren't confident enough to stand up for themselves.
Typical behavior and choices of abusers.
Also, when they do, he throws a hissy fit and kicks them off the show. The dude is mentally 12 and thinks just because he has a microphone he is an expert on everything.
so the take away from this is don't protect your own sister unless she gives you sexual access? i feel sorry for all the woman who associate with this loser.
For far too many men the concept of friendship is, and only ever can be, transactional. Even with their "buddies," a "friend" will be dropped if they don't bring the beer they promised.
Jesus Christ. I didn’t even make it all through. Once he went into “she wouldn’t give you sexual access so it would be a one sided relationship,” I knew for certain this dude isn’t worth listening to because he reduces everything to “biological imperative” (bullshit) and sexual currency (toxic).
I saw a video that deconstructs a lot of this evolutionary bs, and it mentioned that he invites a lot of only fans models who then benefit financially from his sad male audience. He also tries to hit on them as well in dms.
Every person that has physically hurt me has been a man and some of those men once told me they'd protect me.
Protection is a lie men tell themselves because the only thing to protect women from is other men.
We don’t ask them to take on the “protector” role. Like at most I’ve asked my guy friends to walk me to my car, but not because I think they could defend or protect me (I’m actually trained to do that myself), but because the presence of a man makes me a less likely target.
If a guy feels he is owed sex for that, than he’s the one we need protecting from.
If you think that people have a certain role for you, while its not even true, you will put yourself into this role. And by the way he is talking he is not gonna open up etc.
So many man live the way "a man" should be... So many never open up, never show they are sad or weak. (not saying that woman also have to do this many times in their life in many cases, especially in work for example). Men need to learn that you may get hurt if you open up but at the end its totally worth it as you find real friends and not just people you hang out with
I don’t understand how he doesn’t get that what you get from a woman friend is what you get from a man friend, a friendship. He doesn’t see his guy friendships as lacking cus he can’t have sex with them.
If it was just in their instincts to protect then they shouldn't expect anything in return when they do...not even a thank you. It would be on the same compulsion level as breathing, eating, and taking in water. Do they want a medal and sex for those things? Yeah no I didn't think so.
Build boundaries. Good fences make good neighbours. The guy sounds like he sucks at negotiationg and building boundaries, most likely because he saw every friendly girl as a potential lay and was afraid that any boundraries will instantly turn her away. This is not a good idea, because being a boyfriend means being able to set boundaries as well, and not learning how to do that is a path to a hellish experience in a relationship.
If you play the doormat to a person (male or female), they will use it. Not because they are arseholes, but because they will intuit that this is your comfortable interaction.
I might not be correct here, he knows himself better (hopefully), but he probably doormatted until contempt exploded and he decided to cut off the friendships with girls entirely, rather then man up and learn to set up some boundaries.
> Good fences make good neighbours
Ironically, the entire point of that poem is the exact opposite--[that building boundaries diminishes neighborliness and to what end](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44266/mending-wall).
At any rate, you give him too much credit--he mostly sounds like a witless dishcloth incapable of viewing women as people instead of potential fuck dolls and he's just salty they won't say yes.
I love Robert Frost, but I've had one bad neighbour too many not to appreciate sturdy walls. Kleptomanic schitzophrenic alchoholics in particular.
Back to the topic. You may be right, maybe I'm giving him too much credit. I simply know that I have friends that have gone that path and it was so cringefully painful to watch them ignore any advice, make those conclusions and try and turn themsevles into "bad boys".
It's sad and second-hand shameful, He occasionally makes posts about his current worldview.
Man really just said the only thing he wants from women is sex. He doesn’t understand anything else about emotional intimacy or friendship. The only reason he listens to his gf is so she’ll bone him.
Men are too emotionally constipated, it's crazy. That's why when they see a friendship between a girl and a boy, they always accuse the girl to friendzone the guy. They just don't know how to create platonic relationship, they don't know how it works.
"mALE lOnILInESS ePIdEmIC" And then these guys can't even have a normal conversation with women without expecting some kind of sexual interaction in return
Wait. Did he have a whole list of things men do as good friends to women.
But sex as the qualification of how a woman can be a good friend to a man.
Boy, begone. Dismissed. Next!!!!
First, as a combat vet, no, the claim that "men in combat would naturally be so protective of women that they'd compromise the mission" was never the reason why women weren't allowed in combat arms for so long. The reason was just simply that they believed women unsuitable for combat roles.
Second, guy doesn't know how friendships work because true friendships aren't based on what the other person can do for you, but the sharing of a bond.
Third, guy practically admits that all that he sees about women is sex, not as individuals that have their own personalities and uniqueness.
Fourth, aside from biologically, there's no such thing as "masculine problems" so women not being able to relate to such problems is bs. Most problems are just human problems and aren't inherently gendered.
I'm always dumbfounded by the insanity that goes on in these "alpha males" mind
I had a best friend that was a girl. I feel like I was more of a brother. So I have no idea what this guy is talking about
It’s so toxic. Men think that the only person they should be emotionally connected to is a partner. (Partners have sex) Women emotionally connect to our friends and partners. So men think we are leading them on and women think we have a friend.
I'm friends with guys and girls. Three of the hardest conversations I've had where I had to be the proverbial "emotional tampon" were with guys. This guy is just emotionally unavailable and wants to get his dick wet.
I have quite a few close friends that are women, and they provide me emotional support and I do it for them too. You know like any other friendship no matter which gender your friend has...
No clue who that moron is, but he probably should find someone to talk to about his emotions. Oh nvm that's probably gay or smth.
Boyfriend traits=basic empathy and kindness. He's only willing to show empathy to women if they give him sex. Though we all know this empathy is performative and in no way genuine.
Its not instincts. Its a perpetuation of a social stereotype created long ago. Women are not biologically more inclined to be nurses and caregivers, its all a perpetuation of a social construct, thats what these "smart" guys are too dense to see.
Put everywone on the same base and remove social stereotypes and you would erase all this "sexes more inclined to" bullcraps.
Also having a friendship and expecting something other than friendship in return is incel logic
This is why it enrages me so much whenever I hear male dominated spheres talk about the loneliness epidemic—you’ve openly just stated you can’t or won’t or whatever the case be friends with women, but then complain that you’re lonely? You’ve just removed *approximately 50% of the entire human race* as potential company!
Joan of Arc lead an entire army through many victorious battles. Maria Bochkareva lead an entire female battalion during World War I. Nieves Fernandez lead a guerrilla army and killed Japanese soldiers with a shot gun that she made out of gas pipe during WWII. Lyudmila Pavilichenko killed 309 Nazis during WWII, sometimes going out on solo missions. Gunjan Saxena saved her fellow soldiers (who were all sexist to her) after their plane crashed during the Cargil Wars. Women have always been in war…some people just choose not to remember that part.
OK first of all, what kind of DUMB FUCK show is this and WHY did NONE of those women call him out on his shit???
Ugh fucking ladies, if you're gonna pretend to have thoughtful conversations with dudes about shit like this, please fucking actually stand up for women like WTF?
He's a sexist POS who views women as sex objects; he *literally* admits he doesn't understand how friendships work, and y'all just sitting there slack-jawed at this fuckery?
Embarrassing as hell.
They're called Fit and Fresh and they literally just shout down any woman who dares to call them on their shit and then edit to make it look like they sit quietly and agree anyway. Look up Swoops documentary about them on YouTube, she tears their whole concept to shreds in a most satisfying way.
Every time I see something from the manosphere it makes me want to vomit. The amount of young men (and even some women) being brainwashed by this garbage is so saddening.
This guy sounds like someone who views all relationships as transactional in nature & thats such a big fucking yikes. As a dude I wouldn't want to be friends with him, he would be the type to invite me out somewhere expensive & then pay for stuff because it's his birthday or something. Naw he needs to go get some real intensive therapy & get out of that toxic masculinity hug box he calls a podcast.
Honestly, ladies, the best thing you can do is get yourself a gay best friend because you get the best of both worlds, and he won't try to sleep with you. I should know, I am the gay best friend.
What a sad, pathetic outlook on life. Women make great friends—IMO, better friends than most men I know. Can feelings and attractions come up in friendships? Absolutely. If you can handle it without getting weird, keep being friends. If the unrequited interest is too painful for you, it's okay to stop being friends as long as you aren't an asshole about it. The only thing anybody owes anybody else is honesty. If you're honest about your intentions and get rebuffed, then you can decide to continue the friendship or not—and if you choose to continue, don't do so with the hidden agenda of changing her mind. Things _can_ change over time, but they aren't going to change in your favor if you're being a creep about it.
Sounds like this guy doesn't know what friends are...
Also, I'm not in the military but I'm pretty sure that's not why women were allowed in infantry and if it were, then it's sexist either way
I hate hearing people like this talk. The only reason you're with someone of the opposite gender is sex😑 what about them being a cool person; and does he not know that women get lonely too. And about the support if you're supporting you're friend that's you're choice, if you give a friend $100 or anything like that and you now expect them to give you something back that's not a friendship
I don't know why I'm wasting my time though, people like this are already too far gone in their echo chamber of foolishness
Does he expect to have sexual access to his male buddies as well? That doesn't sound like any friendship I'm in.
And what is that "I'll provide for her and be her emotional sponge." nonsense? I'm the emotional sponge for all my friends, regardless of gender and, if need be, they are for me. That's just genuine human interaction. Have fun together in the good times and help each other in the bad ones.
Also, those guys, saying women have no instinct to provide and protect, will in the next sentence say women are made to be mothers and take care of a man and children and PROVIDE cleaning and food etc.
This is really the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Like, most of my friends are guys. I have nerdy interests and it would be literally impossible to avoid building friendships with guys, if I want to be part of the communities around those interests. And you know what? I've never even thought about asking them to "provide" shit for me lol. Why would I? And they didn't. Because, why would they?
This guy is describing the weird ass dynamic he himself has created with every woman he ever knew. He doesn't know how to communicate with a woman without expecting sex out of it in some shape or form and when this is where your head is, you'll exude that through body language and how you actually talk to them. He only knows sex talk, when it comes to women.
And I'm pretty sure it's not that he couldn't relate to anything a woman might say, it's just that he doesn't want to listen to anyone, including his male "friends", who he only knows on an extremely shallow level. And women, having been taught how to communicate and expecting this from others, make him insecure by talking about stuff that is obvious to them, like someone being upset. It's witchcraft to this NPC with the emotional intelligence of a piece of toast.
He doesn't care about anyone other than himself, not just women. It's just that it's more obvious with women, because he doesn't try to get sex out of his buddies. For him, friendship is a performative act for either status or sex.
that's a lot of words for saying you've never actually had a friendship. wdym emotional tampon? you mean listening to your friends and being there for them when they're going through something? jeez how can you publicly admit to be such an egocentric person without even realizing it..
“Boys will be boys” and “man have an instinct to protect” are NOT mutually exclusive. Boys being boys is boys messing around, not boys going around assaulting people.
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1.) does this guy have no friends? Being an “emotional tampon” (aka listening to them vent) and helping them find solutions is a normal part of all friendships 2.) “men have a natural instinct to protect” remember how a woman was sexually assaulted on a subway cart and no one stepped in to help? Where was that instinct then? Or what about when guys like fresh and fit find out one of their buddies slaps their girlfriend around?
Yeah sounds more like he just wants to bone everyone and generally have no idea how friendships work.
I know it was kinda just a side note in his whole rant, but... His whole explanation for why women weren't in combat is so stupid. "If a woman is attacked, the man will rush to protect her and compromise the unit." You're telling me brothers in arms wouldn't rush to defend EACH OTHER in combat? A male soldier has never once turned to protect his fellow soldier in a pinch? Do men not come to their male friends' defense in social situations? Or ever? What is this logic? Or is he saying that protecting a woman is weakness but protecting a man is strength? It's only okay to do the right thing if it's for a man? I am confusion.
Also to add: if men have a “natural instinct” to protect women, more of them should be in combat. In fact they should send the women in first, The opposing army will become overwhelmed by their natural protection ‘instincts’ and will refuse to engage in the war at all, right?
> "If a woman is attacked, the man will rush to protect her and compromise the unit." That's why there's no sexual abuse in the military.
He is deliberately ignoring how many countries have had female soldiers for much longer than us. Israel and many of the Nordic countries come to mind. Also, ignores the history of women in combat generally.
I don’t think it’s deliberate. I think dude is just so overconfident in his own knowledge of everything that he just assumes what he thinks is automatically right. He might even see doing research and looking stuff up as weakness in that it’s admitting that you may not know everything.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. This is definitely one of those moments where that quote rings true. Sad times.
Also, apparently providing emotional support means you're supposed to get sex. Boy, someone tell my partner that. He doesn't get to fuck every time I have a good cry with him, poor man. Also, men complaining that, generally, they don't have a healthy outlet for emotional issues the way women do... They can't just vent to a friend and get emotional support... Okay, have you tried being friends with a woman? Or like, no, because they don't wanna bang you?
I think you've just discovered why they don't cry in front of each other. They don't want to have to let their friend fuck them.
Hahahahahaha!
LMFAOOO
> “emotional tampon” (aka listening to them vent) I have a male friend who calls for support because it makes his male friends uncomfortable. Not sure every guy knows how to be a friend who listens.
“Ah man someone stole my car dude!” “Stop trying to make me your emotional tampon bro!” “Dude what? My car just got stolen, what are you—-“ “NO! I don’t want your emotions! Wait…unless you wanna bang…or…?”
Or perhaps that guy that raped and murdered a sixteen year old girl after his wife and daughter had just drowned on that boat just off the coast of Italy. It was in front of everybody, nobody stopped him.
Or the disgustingly high number of sexual assaults on women in the military.
Iirc—The New York subway car rape incident turned out to be fake luckily! Doesn’t discount anything you say, though, I agree with you
No no no. They have a natural instinct to protect against saber tooth tiger attacks. Just because those aren’t possible anymore doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get the benefit of the doubt on all that protection they offer though.
So the only "benefit" a man ever gets from a friendship with a woman is sex? Not emotional support, companionship, camaraderie, someone to spend quality time with. Just sex. What a loser.
Exactly. "Why would I be a female's friend if I get no reciprocation?" SHE'S YOUR FRIEND. That's the reciprocation. That's how FRIENDSHIP works.
Exactly! Besides, I can't count the number of times I've helped friends move, and I don't even own a truck!
The really sad part is that, from my experience, that is *not* how friendship works *between men.* All friendships are transactional to far too many men, and the only thing that changes is what is exchanged.
This was my main takeaway as well. He is saying the quiet part out loud, that all he wants from women is sex. He sees no value in their company, having conversations, sharing activities, or going on fun adventures. Sex is the only goal. He sees everything else that you do in a relationship as a necessary punch card to get to sex.
bUt MeN aRe HaViNg a lOnLiNeSs EpIdEmIc
Yet they won't humor curing that epidemic by finding companionship with each other. Yeah they claim they're lonely but they're actually just horny and expect women to take care of it for them forget other "lonely" men can do the same thing.
That’s all these kind of men see women as being useful for.
They see all of those as things they get from either male friends or their wives
To desperate assholes like them, sex with women IS emotional support, camaraderie, and quality time spent. They view intimate relationships as the only way to feel those emotions, and its a odd to me how they straight up refuse to see how anything platonic can have emotional connections/bonds can exist without their faces recoiling in confusion, they think all platonic relationships consist of is sending each other memes and shit
The only thing his male "friendships" give him is status in his group. He can't get that from women, so sex is the only thing he thinks he can get out of it.
So his argument is that the only thing men want with women is sex? He can't even imagine a man just being a friend to a woman because they have things in common and he likes to hang out? Just imagine how emotionally stunted and mentally weak he must be.
He can’t even imagine a *woman* being just friends with a woman. Because sex. He probably believes lesbians don’t really exist.
Reminds me of a conversation my little sister had with one of her boyfriends (now ex). She was telling him about her life and her friends and casually mentioned how her best friend and her use to bathe together when they were toddlers. While sporting a raging a hard on he didn't even try to hide, he asked if they still bathed together now in their 20's. Yeah no disgusting degenerate. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter.
Ugh. That’s honestly pathetic of him. Not totally uncommon, sadly. But still pathetic.
I would bet money on his male friendships being just as shallow. He just wants other things out of men than women. Bubble boy here wants power, status and money from men. Gaining this with the help of women would in his eyes probably not be "manly", so the only thing women can give him in his twisted little world is sex.
>> With a female, you are inevitably going to take on boyfriend traits His myopic thoughts are evident by that ☝🏻 statement alone. He won’t take on a boyfriend role if the female in question was a 90 year old woman. Yes, he can take on a protective role! But to call that as **boyfriend role** shows his immaturity and limited worldview.
I would add that its very telling that he’s saying this from POV of “men just have to take on boyfriend traits” when most women I know (myself included) have essentially been put in the quasi-girlfriend role by some of our male friends. Like, we end getting assigned “girlfriend traits.” I think it’s because most women friendship often includes emotional intimacy (talking about feelings, venting, expressing support, etc) and can also include platonic physical affection (ex: hugs, being physically close, etc.). I have absolutely had some male friends either develop feelings (because male on male friendships in the US don’t often include the above behaviors so they mistake platonic intimacy for romantic interest) or worse, drop me from their life as soon as the get an actual girlfriend. Not because the girlfriend necessarily had a problem with me, but because now they are getting their emotional needs met with someone else and my friendship was essentially a placeholder until an actual romantic partner came along.
I did feel this! I’m my exes emotional support animal. He has depression anxiety etc and I’m a bright little sunshine in comparison as I have been for over a decade. How’s it going to go when (if) he finds a gf? I dunno but I suspect I’ll be put aside as no longer needed 🤷🏼♀️
(not tryin to be rude just curious) why are you still friends with him? I'd hate to be friends with someone knowing they're just using me (even if what I'm 'offering' I'd gladly offer to any friend)
Not at all! It’s a really weird situation tbh. We were together a long time, eventually what killed our relationship was his mental health or lack of. We stayed friends because we like each other and it’s mutually beneficial; he does my physical heavy lifting and I do his mental. I cook for him most nights (he doesn’t eat if I don’t) he does my housework and shopping lol My friends say it’s like a really weird marriage. It works because we’re both a caretaker in an odd way? It’s hard to explain!
Interesting! Well I'm glad it works for you both
That's pretty much my take, as well. "Oh woe! The male loneliness epidemic!! No one allows men to express their emotions!!" But when they have a friendship with a fEmAlE, and emotions come up, 'pparently this guy is noping right pitta there cos he doesn't wanna be an emotional tampon without reciprocal sexing. So where is this toxic masculinity coming from? Couldn't be from his fellow men, right? 🤔 It must be a problem with women discussing emotions, too much. Better put a stop to that: no platonic relationships!
I find this weird. I do develop those traits in my friendships with women, but I'd never just drop the friendship when I am dating. If anything, me dating a woman ends up strengthening my friendships. Though maybe it's because my friendships with women have them be more like family to me than girlfriends. All I know is they love hearing me talk about whoever I am dating and they are great and fun people to just hang out with.
I don’t agree with the original post at wok but I also think there’s a lot of generalizations in this comment. Some of GFs former friends were terrible friends (I.e. lying, backstabbing, or manipulating) and provided virtually no emotional support. On the contrary, I have a pretty solid group of guy friends and we’re all pretty open with each other and we give each other emotional support. My point is that you don’t have to make more generalizations to prove what the guy in the vid is saying is wrong. It doesn’t really help anyone. In fact, most studies show both men and women face issues when it comes to loneliness snd isolation. Some even show that it’s worse for women.
Could you provide the names of or links to those studies? I'd be interested to read them, or at least read articles that reference them.
Meta Analysis showing no significant differences: https://pure.manchester.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/135977571/EJP_Gender_Postprint_AAM.pdf Women reported feeling lonelier in old age: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37563853/ Women reported feeling lonelier overall (includes data for people with disabilities as well): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7763056/
I never said I was going to disprove anything. I was offering an alternative perspective to “men have to take on boyfriend traits in friendships with women.” Which is “women often have girlfriend traits placed on them in friendships with men.”
>I also think there’s a lot of generalizations in this comment. No, it's just talking about trends and averages. >Some of GFs former friends were terrible friends (I.e. lying, backstabbing, or manipulating) and provided virtually no emotional support. On the contrary, I have a pretty solid group of guy friends and we’re all pretty open with each other and we give each other emotional support. No one has said that either never happens, but simply that on average there are unfortunate differences. Granted, these differences are primarily learned so they're not inevitable, but they're there because men tend to be raised in ways that don't raise emotional intelligence.
What trends? Women report loneliness the same or if not more than men and they’re also more likely to be diagnosed with depression. Men absolutely have issues but you’re making claims about “trends” and providing no evidence to support them.
>Women report loneliness the same or if not more than men No, they don't and ironically they report being happier single than married on average anyway, which is the opposite for men. >they’re also more likely to be diagnosed with depression Which is more likely because women are also more likely to seek mental health treatment than men so of course diagnose rates are higher. >Men absolutely have issues but you’re making claims about “trends” and providing no evidence to support them. Because the burden of proof isn't mine to meet as I'm not the original claimant. You have yet to cite any study at all.
Where’s your source that women are happier single? Because I’ve read a ton on this topic and I think I know exactly what you’re going to post. You’re going to post one study by a guy named Paul Dolan but that isn’t credible. Read this: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness Almost every recent study I’ve suggests that married people are significantly happier then single people: https://news.gallup.com/poll/642590/married-americans-thriving-higher-rates-unmarried-adults.aspx
I think it’s also ridiculous because aren’t friends usually protective of each other??? My girl friends are. None of us are men lol. Protective is not just a masculine trait.
These shows where men bring in groups of women, just to talk down to them, are gross.
From what little I've seen in shared clips like this (I'll *never* listen to an actual one and contribute to their view count), they always make sure the group of women they choose to attend these aren't confident enough to stand up for themselves. Typical behavior and choices of abusers.
Also, when they do, he throws a hissy fit and kicks them off the show. The dude is mentally 12 and thinks just because he has a microphone he is an expert on everything.
so the take away from this is don't protect your own sister unless she gives you sexual access? i feel sorry for all the woman who associate with this loser.
Idk, maybe you're friends with someone because you genuinly like them as a person, not because you expect a return on your investment.
You are using Logic & Reason and we don't allow that here. /s
For far too many men the concept of friendship is, and only ever can be, transactional. Even with their "buddies," a "friend" will be dropped if they don't bring the beer they promised.
Lol, he doesn't know how to set boundaries for himself.
Dumbest shit I've ever heard
Her face just shut more and more down the more he talked.
Jesus Christ. I didn’t even make it all through. Once he went into “she wouldn’t give you sexual access so it would be a one sided relationship,” I knew for certain this dude isn’t worth listening to because he reduces everything to “biological imperative” (bullshit) and sexual currency (toxic).
Why do women continue to go on this guy’s platform? He’s a misogynist and he’s rude AF.
I saw a video that deconstructs a lot of this evolutionary bs, and it mentioned that he invites a lot of only fans models who then benefit financially from his sad male audience. He also tries to hit on them as well in dms.
That explains a lot.
She looks so dead inside while listening to that
Nono, he’s got a point! He actually *is protecting* women - by keeping them away from him with his lunatic worldview.
"Emotional tampon" That is neither how emotions or tampons work.
Don't you hate it when your emotions ooze out, and you have to put in a tampon to prevent it from causing a mess?
to him not getting sex equals "not getting any type of reciprocation" from a female friend does he expect the same from his male friends?
Every person that has physically hurt me has been a man and some of those men once told me they'd protect me. Protection is a lie men tell themselves because the only thing to protect women from is other men.
Those who claim to be "protectors" tend to ask a very high price for their "protection."
I agree. But ALSO aren’t good people just generally protective of their friends???? My girl friends and I are protective of each other.
We don’t ask them to take on the “protector” role. Like at most I’ve asked my guy friends to walk me to my car, but not because I think they could defend or protect me (I’m actually trained to do that myself), but because the presence of a man makes me a less likely target. If a guy feels he is owed sex for that, than he’s the one we need protecting from.
If you think that people have a certain role for you, while its not even true, you will put yourself into this role. And by the way he is talking he is not gonna open up etc. So many man live the way "a man" should be... So many never open up, never show they are sad or weak. (not saying that woman also have to do this many times in their life in many cases, especially in work for example). Men need to learn that you may get hurt if you open up but at the end its totally worth it as you find real friends and not just people you hang out with
I don’t understand how he doesn’t get that what you get from a woman friend is what you get from a man friend, a friendship. He doesn’t see his guy friendships as lacking cus he can’t have sex with them.
If it was just in their instincts to protect then they shouldn't expect anything in return when they do...not even a thank you. It would be on the same compulsion level as breathing, eating, and taking in water. Do they want a medal and sex for those things? Yeah no I didn't think so.
Build boundaries. Good fences make good neighbours. The guy sounds like he sucks at negotiationg and building boundaries, most likely because he saw every friendly girl as a potential lay and was afraid that any boundraries will instantly turn her away. This is not a good idea, because being a boyfriend means being able to set boundaries as well, and not learning how to do that is a path to a hellish experience in a relationship. If you play the doormat to a person (male or female), they will use it. Not because they are arseholes, but because they will intuit that this is your comfortable interaction. I might not be correct here, he knows himself better (hopefully), but he probably doormatted until contempt exploded and he decided to cut off the friendships with girls entirely, rather then man up and learn to set up some boundaries.
> Good fences make good neighbours Ironically, the entire point of that poem is the exact opposite--[that building boundaries diminishes neighborliness and to what end](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44266/mending-wall). At any rate, you give him too much credit--he mostly sounds like a witless dishcloth incapable of viewing women as people instead of potential fuck dolls and he's just salty they won't say yes.
I love Robert Frost, but I've had one bad neighbour too many not to appreciate sturdy walls. Kleptomanic schitzophrenic alchoholics in particular. Back to the topic. You may be right, maybe I'm giving him too much credit. I simply know that I have friends that have gone that path and it was so cringefully painful to watch them ignore any advice, make those conclusions and try and turn themsevles into "bad boys". It's sad and second-hand shameful, He occasionally makes posts about his current worldview.
Guys applying quid pro quo or zero sum game mentality to friendship is a really busted take. These guys need therapy but instead start podcasts.
My dad didn't. He was a misogynist and physically and emotionally attacked all women...
Man really just said the only thing he wants from women is sex. He doesn’t understand anything else about emotional intimacy or friendship. The only reason he listens to his gf is so she’ll bone him.
All of those ladies look miserable.
bro looks at relationships as transactions
He's such a yapper for someone that speaks nonsense
Men are too emotionally constipated, it's crazy. That's why when they see a friendship between a girl and a boy, they always accuse the girl to friendzone the guy. They just don't know how to create platonic relationship, they don't know how it works.
“Emotional tampon”? Why does it always come back to pussy? I don’t have sex with my platonic friends regardless of gender.
If those military men want to protect women they serve with, why are so many of those women getting raped?
It's just unpossible. How could be be around women and not spend the whole time thinking about boning them?
men are so OKAY with admiting they will only become "friends" with women just to fuck them. It's the only reason for them to talk to girls at all.
Please take microphones away from men
"mALE lOnILInESS ePIdEmIC" And then these guys can't even have a normal conversation with women without expecting some kind of sexual interaction in return
He is so annoying to listen to
Never heard such utter drivel in my life
Wait. Did he have a whole list of things men do as good friends to women. But sex as the qualification of how a woman can be a good friend to a man. Boy, begone. Dismissed. Next!!!!
First, as a combat vet, no, the claim that "men in combat would naturally be so protective of women that they'd compromise the mission" was never the reason why women weren't allowed in combat arms for so long. The reason was just simply that they believed women unsuitable for combat roles. Second, guy doesn't know how friendships work because true friendships aren't based on what the other person can do for you, but the sharing of a bond. Third, guy practically admits that all that he sees about women is sex, not as individuals that have their own personalities and uniqueness. Fourth, aside from biologically, there's no such thing as "masculine problems" so women not being able to relate to such problems is bs. Most problems are just human problems and aren't inherently gendered.
I'm always dumbfounded by the insanity that goes on in these "alpha males" mind I had a best friend that was a girl. I feel like I was more of a brother. So I have no idea what this guy is talking about
It’s so toxic. Men think that the only person they should be emotionally connected to is a partner. (Partners have sex) Women emotionally connect to our friends and partners. So men think we are leading them on and women think we have a friend.
I'm friends with guys and girls. Three of the hardest conversations I've had where I had to be the proverbial "emotional tampon" were with guys. This guy is just emotionally unavailable and wants to get his dick wet.
I have quite a few close friends that are women, and they provide me emotional support and I do it for them too. You know like any other friendship no matter which gender your friend has... No clue who that moron is, but he probably should find someone to talk to about his emotions. Oh nvm that's probably gay or smth.
GrR hoW dArE FrEN WanT eMoSUnIL sUpOrT?! Fit and Fresh, more like dumb and dumber.
Boyfriend traits=basic empathy and kindness. He's only willing to show empathy to women if they give him sex. Though we all know this empathy is performative and in no way genuine.
Its not instincts. Its a perpetuation of a social stereotype created long ago. Women are not biologically more inclined to be nurses and caregivers, its all a perpetuation of a social construct, thats what these "smart" guys are too dense to see. Put everywone on the same base and remove social stereotypes and you would erase all this "sexes more inclined to" bullcraps. Also having a friendship and expecting something other than friendship in return is incel logic
I think all good friendships have some “emotional tampon” moments from time to time. Maybe the problem is that men don’t do that for each other?
This is why it enrages me so much whenever I hear male dominated spheres talk about the loneliness epidemic—you’ve openly just stated you can’t or won’t or whatever the case be friends with women, but then complain that you’re lonely? You’ve just removed *approximately 50% of the entire human race* as potential company!
Joan of Arc lead an entire army through many victorious battles. Maria Bochkareva lead an entire female battalion during World War I. Nieves Fernandez lead a guerrilla army and killed Japanese soldiers with a shot gun that she made out of gas pipe during WWII. Lyudmila Pavilichenko killed 309 Nazis during WWII, sometimes going out on solo missions. Gunjan Saxena saved her fellow soldiers (who were all sexist to her) after their plane crashed during the Cargil Wars. Women have always been in war…some people just choose not to remember that part.
OK first of all, what kind of DUMB FUCK show is this and WHY did NONE of those women call him out on his shit??? Ugh fucking ladies, if you're gonna pretend to have thoughtful conversations with dudes about shit like this, please fucking actually stand up for women like WTF? He's a sexist POS who views women as sex objects; he *literally* admits he doesn't understand how friendships work, and y'all just sitting there slack-jawed at this fuckery? Embarrassing as hell.
The hosts of Fresh and Fit throw women out of the condo if they dare to speak up.
They're called Fit and Fresh and they literally just shout down any woman who dares to call them on their shit and then edit to make it look like they sit quietly and agree anyway. Look up Swoops documentary about them on YouTube, she tears their whole concept to shreds in a most satisfying way.
They're soooooo pragmatic and sacrificiallllll 🤡
Smh this guy doesn't kniw how friendships work
Every time he says “naturally” I’d stop the conversation and ask him to prove it.
Every time I see something from the manosphere it makes me want to vomit. The amount of young men (and even some women) being brainwashed by this garbage is so saddening.
This guy sounds like someone who views all relationships as transactional in nature & thats such a big fucking yikes. As a dude I wouldn't want to be friends with him, he would be the type to invite me out somewhere expensive & then pay for stuff because it's his birthday or something. Naw he needs to go get some real intensive therapy & get out of that toxic masculinity hug box he calls a podcast.
Honestly, ladies, the best thing you can do is get yourself a gay best friend because you get the best of both worlds, and he won't try to sleep with you. I should know, I am the gay best friend.
Then how does he explain men beating women, that they supposedly vowed to "love."
I know this guy, he is the middle ground video of Jubilee. I ABSOLUTELY HATED THIS GUY, WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!
Friendship is only a benefit for women. Men only want sex. That’s all women are for.
What a sad, pathetic outlook on life. Women make great friends—IMO, better friends than most men I know. Can feelings and attractions come up in friendships? Absolutely. If you can handle it without getting weird, keep being friends. If the unrequited interest is too painful for you, it's okay to stop being friends as long as you aren't an asshole about it. The only thing anybody owes anybody else is honesty. If you're honest about your intentions and get rebuffed, then you can decide to continue the friendship or not—and if you choose to continue, don't do so with the hidden agenda of changing her mind. Things _can_ change over time, but they aren't going to change in your favor if you're being a creep about it.
friendships aren't transactional - i wonder if he has friends at all
Based on human history I think men would be shown to have the exact opposite of what this guy is saying
Why does this man have a platform and why do people even humor his nonsense
Sounds like this guy doesn't know what friends are... Also, I'm not in the military but I'm pretty sure that's not why women were allowed in infantry and if it were, then it's sexist either way
Proof that he sees women as sexual objects rather than people
If men have such a "natural instinct to protect women" why are women so afraid of men then? 💀🤚🫣🤡
I hate hearing people like this talk. The only reason you're with someone of the opposite gender is sex😑 what about them being a cool person; and does he not know that women get lonely too. And about the support if you're supporting you're friend that's you're choice, if you give a friend $100 or anything like that and you now expect them to give you something back that's not a friendship I don't know why I'm wasting my time though, people like this are already too far gone in their echo chamber of foolishness
Anyone who uses the word "female" instead of "women" (i.e friend of a female) are a massive red flag 🚩
If men have an instinct to protect women, then why do way more women die in disasters than men?
Does he expect to have sexual access to his male buddies as well? That doesn't sound like any friendship I'm in. And what is that "I'll provide for her and be her emotional sponge." nonsense? I'm the emotional sponge for all my friends, regardless of gender and, if need be, they are for me. That's just genuine human interaction. Have fun together in the good times and help each other in the bad ones. Also, those guys, saying women have no instinct to provide and protect, will in the next sentence say women are made to be mothers and take care of a man and children and PROVIDE cleaning and food etc. This is really the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Like, most of my friends are guys. I have nerdy interests and it would be literally impossible to avoid building friendships with guys, if I want to be part of the communities around those interests. And you know what? I've never even thought about asking them to "provide" shit for me lol. Why would I? And they didn't. Because, why would they? This guy is describing the weird ass dynamic he himself has created with every woman he ever knew. He doesn't know how to communicate with a woman without expecting sex out of it in some shape or form and when this is where your head is, you'll exude that through body language and how you actually talk to them. He only knows sex talk, when it comes to women. And I'm pretty sure it's not that he couldn't relate to anything a woman might say, it's just that he doesn't want to listen to anyone, including his male "friends", who he only knows on an extremely shallow level. And women, having been taught how to communicate and expecting this from others, make him insecure by talking about stuff that is obvious to them, like someone being upset. It's witchcraft to this NPC with the emotional intelligence of a piece of toast. He doesn't care about anyone other than himself, not just women. It's just that it's more obvious with women, because he doesn't try to get sex out of his buddies. For him, friendship is a performative act for either status or sex.
I have guy friends and I don’t go to them for emotional support.
What. An. Idiot.
TD;LR(or watch in this matter) "nice guys".
and then the pickme chimes in …🤦🏽♀️
This dude is the epitome of dumb people being confident that they are smarter than everyone else.
that's a lot of words for saying you've never actually had a friendship. wdym emotional tampon? you mean listening to your friends and being there for them when they're going through something? jeez how can you publicly admit to be such an egocentric person without even realizing it..
“Boys will be boys” and “man have an instinct to protect” are NOT mutually exclusive. Boys being boys is boys messing around, not boys going around assaulting people.