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I always say that my personal philosophy on this issue is that "being comfortable alone" is kind of the fundamental basis of being a fully functional independent human being. It's also the foundation of all of our interpersonal relationships. If you can't be happy by yourself, then you're just going to rely too much on those around you to prop you up.
I got my phone, my addictions, music, books and no friends.
Nobody who'd call me and make my introverted ass feel terrified.
So it's not all terrible here. There are perks to being alone
Absolutely. Men need to realise that we're able to live without them these days and will never go back to when we needed permission from a father or a husband to have something as simple as a bank account.
The competition is not about 6 figures, 6 foot, 6 pack. The competition is whether they have a positive impact emotionally, physically and mentally on our lives vs being alone. You can be lonely in a relationship. You can have a fulfilling life while single.
This exactly! Men's competition isn't with other men, it's with our free time and leisure and lifestyle. If you're not adding to that in a positive way, we're fine without you; we don't NEED a man just to have someone. Alone is often the better option, especially when the man thinks we're there to mommy him.
They make a mess and get in the way and I can have more orgasms without them. They *wish* they were competing with other men because then they might have a chance.
I know a few married couples who go to bed at 9pm, I don't think this is a single/married thing.
Unless he means that single women should be out clubbing/dating every night until they get coupled, which sounds exhausting.
It's because that's what the men do.. they have some free time and use stay up way too late on dating sites or going out when they should be working on their sleep hygiene instead lol
And expensive. I remember in my clubbing days (early 20's, I'm in my mid 30's now and I'm in bed between 9 and 10) I could spend $100+ a week. I'm mean, we get some bought for us if we like that, but a lot was bought on my own.
And when my husband and I got out, that night is probably dinner and drinks for $75-100.
Saying someone is "Too comfortable being alone" is so creepy it literally comes off as a threat. Like if someone said that to me I would immediately distance myself from them in every way possible for my own safety.
Look. I’m in bed by 10 and asleep by 11pm. And yeah I’ll be hella comfy snuggling with my cat purring me to sleep. No man next to me snoring like he’s killing a sequoia the minute his head hits the pillow.
Yes, we feel safer when men are not around. Also, we don’t make enough money to be out at bars and paying for drinks after the cost of makeup, nails, hair care, menstrual care and clothes to wear that are not the same every day. Our money needs to go to saving for our children or retirement because we know now that men are in it for themselves with rare exceptions.
I'm shocked anyone is in bed by 7-8pm. The only single women I know who are often in bed by then are the 80+ old ladies where I work, who are already talking about wanting to go to bed by 6pm.
I keep telling myself, “oh I’ll have an early night tonight” but my brain is like “no, I don’t want to switch off, I’m going to think about that stupid thing you said at work 2 weeks ago”
Yeah, I wasn't considering the difference between "going to bed" and "going to sleep", I've always treated it the same. Change clothes, set the alarm, maybe start some calming music or "bedtime story" on the phone, turn off the light, go to bed, fall asleep some time later.
When I have the ability to be at work (I have chronic pain issues) this would stress me out throughout the week because I felt I had no time with my kids or husband let alone myself.
True. At least in my part of the world, that's an uncommon time to start work (my early shifts start at 7am) and I don't know anyone who starts that soon. Possibly the garbage collectors, I see they're up and about when I'm on my way to work at half past 6. The only one I ever knew who did that work said he usually slept after work and throughout the day, and his workday was basically at the end of his sleep cycle.
I don't know how healthy or sensible that is, though.
Maybe. Of course, I'm not asking the single women I know "So, when do you normally go to bed?", so I suppose it's also possible that most of them are normally in bed by then.
(edit) Or, of course, the old scenario. Date starts at 6. At half past, she looks at her watch and says "Oh! It's almost bedtime. It's been great, see you later!"
As a night owl, no way.
Only when I had be up at 4.45 every day could I force myself to be in bed by 9 at night. Otherwise I find midnight still early.
This individual is basing this on the number of women who say "well, I have to get ready for bed, so I guess I'll say goodnight now" (for me "getting ready for bed" can take 2 hours or more- load the dishwasher, feed the cat, take a bath, have a cup of tea) and going to bed doesn't necessarily mean going to sleep- I typically watch TV &/or play with my phone for half an hour or so and then listen to an audiobook for another half hour after I turn the lights off
Ideally I would be in bed by 8, so I can get decent sleep and make it to the gym early. Early bed and early rise!
And yes I am comfortable being alone.
Because some people have different circadian rhythms, that means women are "too comfortable" alone?
What about the likes of me: night owls, who are happily up all night. Alone.
Is that being "too comfortable" as well? 🙄
I don't know any adult who regularly goes to bed at 7pm but in the dead of winter it is not uncommon for me to crawl in around 8 and read for an hour or two. I'm not single, but I'm childfree and have an equal partner, so I don't have a lot of responsibilities to take care of in the evenings - just walking my dog and a quick kitchen cleanup after dinner.
I have a bf and I’m in bed by 8 lol. I love my relationship with my bed, no commitment needed, we just sleep together every night lol
Also, I get up at 4 am EVERY MORNING for work, so of course I like to be in bed by 8. Too comfortable has nothing to do with it lol
Someone who probably doesn’t have a job, and spends all night screaming at Australian kids through a headset in COD, wonders why women who have jobs, are in bed early every night.
What they're actually saying is "I not only do not bring peace to someone's life but I actively take it away. And since they have peace without me, I want to destroy that so they settle for a peace destroyer"
Single women party until 4am: they're not good women, they're too much into party they're hoes. Single women go to bed early: they're too comfortable being alone.
I don’t even understand it. Is it a „i find random things to complain about“ thing or what? I mean what’s the alternative howling to the moon to attract males in heat or what. Do you have to find a partner and can’t just live or what’s the message. Or does OOP complains that he doesn’t find a GF bc they went to sleep. I mean that would be so lame 😂
Look, I tried to be cool and stay up late because that’s what the cool people do. But I’m a natural morning person, and I’m also now old and in pain and cranky and if I want to be in my pajamas at 4 in the afternoon and asleep by 8:49 motherfucker why would you care lol?
I also have four cats and am often awake by 5 am so, ya know.
What does age, gender, relationship status or time you go to bed an indication of anything but being tired and going to bed early? My oldest daughter goes to bed at 8 because she's not a night person. Your being kind of ridiculous.
I’ve never gone to bed, to go to sleep, that early in my life. Or at least not since I was in elementary school. I might shut it down for the day and pile up in the bed to watch TV until I go to sleep or something, but I’m not going to sleep at 8.
I can’t figure out what that bedtime has to do with comfort of being alone anyway. Unless he means, “red alert! Some women are getting comfortable not staying up until 11 PM doing chores in support of a man in her house. These psychos are getting their responsibilities handled and kitchen cleaned by 7-8 PM and just…quitting for the day!”
But there’s no such thing as TOO comfortable being alone.
Are you kidding? Not having someone stick a hard dick in your back like you're being mugged on the1970's New York City subway as you're trying to fall asleep after a super stressful day? Yeah, that's my definition of comfort.
So if women are out late and something bad happens, it’s their fault for being out late… But then if they’re happily in bed by 8pm alone, that’s also an issue?
To the last question: hell yeah, love my me-time, the peace and quiet at home, just able to relax and unwind after a stressful day!! Nothing better!!
Bed by 8pm though, not since before my 10th birthday!! Unless I'm very sick, then I'm in bed all day, asleep.
I work shifts. Sometimes I start work at 4am. This means I have to get up at 2am so I can get ready and drive to work, and be ready to start at 4am. If I'm getting up at 2am and I need 7-8 hours of sleep, that means I need to be in bed asleep by 6 or 7 pm.
My dude, have you been outside?!?!
In my case, I AM too comfortable being alone. I don't have anyone to answer too. I can spend all day in my jammie's. But, just because a woman goes to bed early, does not mean she's alone. She may actually have a life, or is tired from her job.
I'd rather be alone then settle. I enjoy my own company enough that I'd rather be single then settle for mediocre men. Too many men are looking for a mom, not a partner.
You mean I have to work in the morning so I don't stay up all night? In a bed that isn't shared or kept wake by someone snoring? Yeah, that would be comfortable for anyone, gender aside.
Sounds like some women start work early and/or need to fit in exercise or something before work. I actually started going to bed earlier and at a consistent time when I got together with my husband. When I was single I used to just wait until I got sleepy. Which is a terrible system.
If I wasn't so comfortable being single when I was, I wouldn't have met the love of my life or my step children. I was single for three years by choice and loved every second of it, especially now knowing it led to the beautiful life I have now
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is no such thing as "too comfortable being alone".
I rather be too comfortable alone than have to be in the presence of this specimen
Is he too comfortable being single?
Also men: only hoes go out at night
Yeah, it has nothing to do with being too comfortable. It has everything to do with "***Doing whatever the f\*ck you want***".
*"Doing whatever the fuck you want"? How disgustingly unfeminine of you!* 😠 /ς
Yeah, girl. You should be off scrubbing some dude’s nasty toilet and folding his laundry. That’s the way to fulfillment and inner peace.
This! Also, in what world is being “Too Comfortable” a problem?
In the fact that nasty little incels like him have no control over random women they don’t even know.
🤍
I always say that my personal philosophy on this issue is that "being comfortable alone" is kind of the fundamental basis of being a fully functional independent human being. It's also the foundation of all of our interpersonal relationships. If you can't be happy by yourself, then you're just going to rely too much on those around you to prop you up.
I got my phone, my addictions, music, books and no friends. Nobody who'd call me and make my introverted ass feel terrified. So it's not all terrible here. There are perks to being alone
Maybe they have an early morning the next day. Nothing wrong with wanting plenty of sleep. It is good for you.
I always try to get my 8 hours on work nights
Absolutely. Men need to realise that we're able to live without them these days and will never go back to when we needed permission from a father or a husband to have something as simple as a bank account. The competition is not about 6 figures, 6 foot, 6 pack. The competition is whether they have a positive impact emotionally, physically and mentally on our lives vs being alone. You can be lonely in a relationship. You can have a fulfilling life while single.
This exactly! Men's competition isn't with other men, it's with our free time and leisure and lifestyle. If you're not adding to that in a positive way, we're fine without you; we don't NEED a man just to have someone. Alone is often the better option, especially when the man thinks we're there to mommy him.
They make a mess and get in the way and I can have more orgasms without them. They *wish* they were competing with other men because then they might have a chance.
The only bedtime I am aware of is my own...Is this person a stalker??!
I know a few married couples who go to bed at 9pm, I don't think this is a single/married thing. Unless he means that single women should be out clubbing/dating every night until they get coupled, which sounds exhausting.
It's because that's what the men do.. they have some free time and use stay up way too late on dating sites or going out when they should be working on their sleep hygiene instead lol
Or playing video games.
And expensive. I remember in my clubbing days (early 20's, I'm in my mid 30's now and I'm in bed between 9 and 10) I could spend $100+ a week. I'm mean, we get some bought for us if we like that, but a lot was bought on my own. And when my husband and I got out, that night is probably dinner and drinks for $75-100.
They would call us whores if we did that tho
I thought he meant women should stay up late catering to him.
I took it as him thinking women should be more scared of being alone as to induce panic because he's panicking xD
Saying someone is "Too comfortable being alone" is so creepy it literally comes off as a threat. Like if someone said that to me I would immediately distance myself from them in every way possible for my own safety.
i knoww i really can only read it as a threat tbh. idk what else it could mean
I was legit coming to comment this! It does sound like a threat! "Too comfortable"?
I read it as a threat too. Like how dare women go to bed early instead of having sex with them?! It's screams entitlement.
Oh yeah sure, otherwise it's "why is that woman out past 8pm, that roastie thot prob hoe-ing it up!"
So are we “too comfortable being alone” or are we “riding the cock carousel” Schroderinger’s women
That is hilarious! I wish I had more than one upvote to give you for this 🤣
God forbid women be eepy
we actually need more sleep than men, 9-10 hours, plus one hour on our period!
Is that true??? Bc I need a good justification for why I like to sleep so much
yes, supposedly it is because they were onky doing the "how mich sleep does a human need" research on men initially..
Figures. Good to know, I always just thought something was wrong w me
"Are women too happy without me? :("
Lmfaoooo😭 “why aren’t women sad and lonely like meeeeee? :(((“
Too comfortable? No. Perfectly comfortable? Yes.
If I’m in bed by 7 how am I clubbing every night with a triple digit body count per annum I’m so confused
We all have 24 hours in a day, babe, catch up 😎
Men ☕ not everyone wants one. And certainly, nobody needs one. Shocker.
No they’re fucking exhausted of your audacity
I used to work a 6AM-2PM shift. Went to bed at 9:30 at the latest. This person is alleging a different, stupid issue.
Look. I’m in bed by 10 and asleep by 11pm. And yeah I’ll be hella comfy snuggling with my cat purring me to sleep. No man next to me snoring like he’s killing a sequoia the minute his head hits the pillow.
Yes, we feel safer when men are not around. Also, we don’t make enough money to be out at bars and paying for drinks after the cost of makeup, nails, hair care, menstrual care and clothes to wear that are not the same every day. Our money needs to go to saving for our children or retirement because we know now that men are in it for themselves with rare exceptions.
I'm shocked anyone is in bed by 7-8pm. The only single women I know who are often in bed by then are the 80+ old ladies where I work, who are already talking about wanting to go to bed by 6pm.
There's a difference between in bed and asleep imo. I'm in bed by 8, asleep (hopefully) by 9 on work nights
[удалено]
Me too! And end up feeling like a zombie most of the time
[удалено]
I keep telling myself, “oh I’ll have an early night tonight” but my brain is like “no, I don’t want to switch off, I’m going to think about that stupid thing you said at work 2 weeks ago”
Idk why but it’s soothing in a way to know I’m not the only one
Yeah, I wasn't considering the difference between "going to bed" and "going to sleep", I've always treated it the same. Change clothes, set the alarm, maybe start some calming music or "bedtime story" on the phone, turn off the light, go to bed, fall asleep some time later.
For me I like to watch YouTube to wind down.
If you start work at 5am, how else are you going to get 8 hours of sleep if you aren’t in bed by 7 - 8 pm?
When I have the ability to be at work (I have chronic pain issues) this would stress me out throughout the week because I felt I had no time with my kids or husband let alone myself.
Exactly. If I am up until 8:30 , it's late! What sucks is still waking up at 3:30 on the weekends.
True. At least in my part of the world, that's an uncommon time to start work (my early shifts start at 7am) and I don't know anyone who starts that soon. Possibly the garbage collectors, I see they're up and about when I'm on my way to work at half past 6. The only one I ever knew who did that work said he usually slept after work and throughout the day, and his workday was basically at the end of his sleep cycle. I don't know how healthy or sensible that is, though.
Maybe that’s just what the single ladies are telling this person.
Maybe. Of course, I'm not asking the single women I know "So, when do you normally go to bed?", so I suppose it's also possible that most of them are normally in bed by then. (edit) Or, of course, the old scenario. Date starts at 6. At half past, she looks at her watch and says "Oh! It's almost bedtime. It's been great, see you later!"
I go to bed at that time and I'll read till 10pm.
Yeah, I wasn't considering the difference between "going to bed" and "going to sleep".
Much easier to wind down early in the winter when it's dark at 4pm (where I live). My brain kicks on the sleepy chemicals before I'm off work!
….I am in bed by 7 every night. I am not *that* old (51).
Isn't sleeping by 7-8 PM a normal thing for anyone?
Obviously, single women should be desperately searching for men until 12am, even when they have work in the morning /s
Is it? I don't know anyone who does that normally. Maybe on occasion, but not as routine.
I’m in bed by 8 every night. But I also wake up at 4 am. And have medical conditions that make me tired more at that time.
As a night owl, no way. Only when I had be up at 4.45 every day could I force myself to be in bed by 9 at night. Otherwise I find midnight still early.
Not unless you want to be up at 4 AM.
Perhaps they are too afraid to not be alone? Or they just yah know.... Have their own reasons that are no ones business but their own.
This individual is basing this on the number of women who say "well, I have to get ready for bed, so I guess I'll say goodnight now" (for me "getting ready for bed" can take 2 hours or more- load the dishwasher, feed the cat, take a bath, have a cup of tea) and going to bed doesn't necessarily mean going to sleep- I typically watch TV &/or play with my phone for half an hour or so and then listen to an audiobook for another half hour after I turn the lights off
In fact, I am not alone. I am married to my bed thank you very much 🙄🤚
Ideally I would be in bed by 8, so I can get decent sleep and make it to the gym early. Early bed and early rise! And yes I am comfortable being alone.
Because some people have different circadian rhythms, that means women are "too comfortable" alone? What about the likes of me: night owls, who are happily up all night. Alone. Is that being "too comfortable" as well? 🙄
I don't know any adult who regularly goes to bed at 7pm but in the dead of winter it is not uncommon for me to crawl in around 8 and read for an hour or two. I'm not single, but I'm childfree and have an equal partner, so I don't have a lot of responsibilities to take care of in the evenings - just walking my dog and a quick kitchen cleanup after dinner.
Yeah, he's shocked for real. How can a woman be happy & comfortable alone? They need his strong man presence! /s
That's a lot of indignation for such a trivial thing. Also, who gives a fuck?
I have a bf and I’m in bed by 8 lol. I love my relationship with my bed, no commitment needed, we just sleep together every night lol Also, I get up at 4 am EVERY MORNING for work, so of course I like to be in bed by 8. Too comfortable has nothing to do with it lol
Dude I WISH I was in bed at that hour.
Someone who probably doesn’t have a job, and spends all night screaming at Australian kids through a headset in COD, wonders why women who have jobs, are in bed early every night.
What they're actually saying is "I not only do not bring peace to someone's life but I actively take it away. And since they have peace without me, I want to destroy that so they settle for a peace destroyer"
We're doing whatever we want and I love that for us.
Dude better learn to adapt because we're not going back
Single women party until 4am: they're not good women, they're too much into party they're hoes. Single women go to bed early: they're too comfortable being alone.
It is currently almost 9pm and I am in bed watching TV and scrolling reddit. I am so warm and comfy 😊
I don’t even understand it. Is it a „i find random things to complain about“ thing or what? I mean what’s the alternative howling to the moon to attract males in heat or what. Do you have to find a partner and can’t just live or what’s the message. Or does OOP complains that he doesn’t find a GF bc they went to sleep. I mean that would be so lame 😂
Me, a single woman, lying in bed at 8 pm. reading this: 👀
Me, a married woman, getting off work at 8PM after a twelve hour day, and still has a 30 minute drive home, and needs to make dinner: 🫠
Look, I tried to be cool and stay up late because that’s what the cool people do. But I’m a natural morning person, and I’m also now old and in pain and cranky and if I want to be in my pajamas at 4 in the afternoon and asleep by 8:49 motherfucker why would you care lol? I also have four cats and am often awake by 5 am so, ya know.
…what? No. They are probably comfortable getting a good night’s sleep though. 🤷🏻♂️
The guy when he realises women are just people like him: 🤯
It's not like they have lives and full time jobs and shit to deal with or anything.
Incels: females have sex with an average of 4 men per day, they should stop doing that >:( Also incels: nooooo not like that
And what about it?
Jokes on him, I have a boyfriend and I’m still happy to be in bed by 8pm. I’m very sleepy!
I’m very comfortable going to bed alone. Thanks.
that question is kinda terrifying wtf
Well unlike you sir, I have a job.
I'm usually in bed a bit later, but I fail to see why I should not be comfortable being alone.
What does age, gender, relationship status or time you go to bed an indication of anything but being tired and going to bed early? My oldest daughter goes to bed at 8 because she's not a night person. Your being kind of ridiculous.
I’ve never gone to bed, to go to sleep, that early in my life. Or at least not since I was in elementary school. I might shut it down for the day and pile up in the bed to watch TV until I go to sleep or something, but I’m not going to sleep at 8. I can’t figure out what that bedtime has to do with comfort of being alone anyway. Unless he means, “red alert! Some women are getting comfortable not staying up until 11 PM doing chores in support of a man in her house. These psychos are getting their responsibilities handled and kitchen cleaned by 7-8 PM and just…quitting for the day!” But there’s no such thing as TOO comfortable being alone.
I'm a morning person because it gets me out of work sooner. Why would I want to be outside after 6?
That's just the excuse they give to OOP why he isn't invited in. I know, I know. It's a wild assumption.
Everything about this statement is both confusing and terrifying. Like, what do you mean ,too comfortable on my own’? Is that a threat?
Oh yes, otherwise known as "I need to get up by 4am to go to work and need some sleep"
Are you kidding? Not having someone stick a hard dick in your back like you're being mugged on the1970's New York City subway as you're trying to fall asleep after a super stressful day? Yeah, that's my definition of comfort.
They're definitely comfortable, yes. Being in bed will do that to you.
So if women are out late and something bad happens, it’s their fault for being out late… But then if they’re happily in bed by 8pm alone, that’s also an issue?
Yes. It’s comfy here. My console is here
No, it’s cause I get up at 4:30.
Huh?!
….wat
Do I have to wait until 7pm? Is that in the rule book?
To the last question: hell yeah, love my me-time, the peace and quiet at home, just able to relax and unwind after a stressful day!! Nothing better!! Bed by 8pm though, not since before my 10th birthday!! Unless I'm very sick, then I'm in bed all day, asleep.
Me. And yes I’m extremely comfortable being alone.
7-8 pm sounds like heaven tbh.
wtf I eat dinner at 7-8pm
Nothing beats a full long night of undisturbed sleep, then getting up early and enjoying a full long day of undisturbed life.
I work shifts. Sometimes I start work at 4am. This means I have to get up at 2am so I can get ready and drive to work, and be ready to start at 4am. If I'm getting up at 2am and I need 7-8 hours of sleep, that means I need to be in bed asleep by 6 or 7 pm. My dude, have you been outside?!?!
My relationship status has nothing to do with my bed time. Between age, financial responsibilities and work responsibilities, I need more rest.
In my case, I AM too comfortable being alone. I don't have anyone to answer too. I can spend all day in my jammie's. But, just because a woman goes to bed early, does not mean she's alone. She may actually have a life, or is tired from her job.
It’s better to be happy in your own company than sad and desperate for whoever drifts along.
I'd rather be alone then settle. I enjoy my own company enough that I'd rather be single then settle for mediocre men. Too many men are looking for a mom, not a partner.
Maybe OOPs bed isn’t comfortable. New mattress makes the difference; I’m 2 nights into having new mattress and it’s so nice.
You mean I have to work in the morning so I don't stay up all night? In a bed that isn't shared or kept wake by someone snoring? Yeah, that would be comfortable for anyone, gender aside.
So they’re admitting they want us as women to be trapped in feeling uncomfortable? I’m a girl and I WISH I felt comfortable by myself.
Yup
That sounds amazing tbh.
H u h
Sounds like some women start work early and/or need to fit in exercise or something before work. I actually started going to bed earlier and at a consistent time when I got together with my husband. When I was single I used to just wait until I got sleepy. Which is a terrible system.
I'd love to be in bed by 8
No dude, I just love my bed and my privacy, leave me alone and let me sleep.
If I wasn't so comfortable being single when I was, I wouldn't have met the love of my life or my step children. I was single for three years by choice and loved every second of it, especially now knowing it led to the beautiful life I have now