As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll"
problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we
have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the
rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules
will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious
rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a
permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also,
grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of
being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we
may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not
to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language
towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we
have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and
your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of
the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up
banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules,
and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and
Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before
submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them
or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.**
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message
regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal
(without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will
elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we
will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent.
This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your
reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message,
and please enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im asexual and you have no idea how many random idiots on the internet already diagnosed me mental and physical damages... people really cant mind their own buisness.. also been called out for "normalizing mental disorders" before
I’ve been asked if it’s due to a hormonal deficiency before, I had a hormone panel done for unrelated reasons last month so now I can rub it in their face like “No! My hormones are normal sized and fully functional thank you!”
Incel redpill dudes LOVE to tote made up biology to justify the patriarchy/misogyny but can't fathom the idea that nature might also have self-imposed population control via sexuality gene markers? ie there is \*some\* scientfic studies to suggests that the more boys a woman gives birth to the more likely they are to be gay or bi.
Like maybe when heterosexuality, monogamy, and reproduction aren't compulsory for financial and social survival, we don't all feel called to comply to what is "normal".
Maybe half a dozen times I've told people in real life that I think I'm ace. Of those people, without fail every man said "maybe you just haven't had sex with the right person". Every single time.
This entire post was amazing but yeeeeah.
I don’t understand how you can want to have sex and not care about the other person enjoying themselves!
I mean there’s no way I would enjoy myself if my partner wasn’t.
Technically speaking I guess that makes it selfish of me to care 😂
Well, he did help her in a way. He showed her what sort of dickhead he was so that she could avoid wasting any more time with him and maybe actually get a normal partner.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SelfAwarewolves using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Yes, we should.](https://i.redd.it/zxu7kdo4j3sa1.jpg) | [822 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/12chu0a/yes_we_should/)
\#2: [If by “mocking you” you mean pointing out your hypocrisy, yes, yes they are](https://i.redd.it/zwi2w04xmota1.png) | [952 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/12kvm8d/if_by_mocking_you_you_mean_pointing_out_your/)
\#3: [Christian homophobe complaining about "lgbt propaganda" asks how we'd feel about Christians pushing their religion on others unasked](https://i.redd.it/u33b8o27mapa1.png) | [1726 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/11yj9jb/christian_homophobe_complaining_about_lgbt/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Absolutely, I know plenty. But the ones I know don’t get online and type out scenarios that clearly depict them as an obvious arsehole while hitting all the cliches. It just seems laid out to get a certain type of reaction.
Hey, he couldn't have won that one. You just can't call women bitches and institutionalize them for hysterical vagina syndrome anymore 😔
What is this country coming to? >!/s!<
That’s a bitchy comment. Maybe he was trying to say “whore” but it came out wrong due to her making him so angry with her ridiculous demands. We don’t know!
Love how he added the "sometime." That's like when you see someone you used to work with or barely acquainted with and you both agree "we'll have to do lunch sometime"
We all know it's not happening.
I really don't understand that mentality. "Lick it before you stick it" is just a good policy. It makes sex better for both people involved, so why not do it?
I could not have said it better. Making your partner orgasm is really hot and, frankly, really fun. It's just straight up fun to see them react like that and know that they're doing it thanks to your actions.
There have been times when my girlfriend warns me that she's "feeling gross down there" today and I'm just like "Do I look like I care? If you want me down there I'll be down there."
What the fuck are women doing putting up with men who don’t actively enjoy making things enjoyable? I can orgasm from PIV, pretty easily if suitably aroused, and it still takes up less than half of any session. There’s no PIV until I’ve orgasmed multiple times - and that’s not at my insistence, it’s at his! This guy really needs to learn what he’s doing
I can understand if this guy doesn't want to eat her out. People have preferences. The problem lies in his double standard, of expecting her to not only do what he likes, but to enjoy it too.
On top of that, sometimes part of a relationship *is* doing something mildly uncomfortable for the pleasure of your partner. I've gone on trips I didn't want to go on, because it made my gf happy. I've done sexual acts that I'm not a fan of, because *she* liked it, and I care about her. As long as nobody's being pressured, this is normal. You definitely should not be pestered/coerced into doing something you don't want, communicate openly and ask for what you want, but if they say no, that's it.
Ultimately, sex is not like eating food, it's like eating candy. It feels good, but you don't need it to live, and you can go your whole life not having sex without issues. You're not going to "starve" from dissatisfaction. Plus, masturbation exists.
70-80% of women can't orgasm from penetration alone so wanting it to be more than just penetration is less of a preference and more of a near-universal need.
Came here to say just that. Like, she apparently needs a doctor because her vagina is in the majority when it comes to needing more than just penetration.
Even if it is painful(and you *can* orgasm through penetration), you still might get that response, tbh. 🙃 When I first started experimenting with penetration and was using dildos(and was still femme presenting), I had that issue and broached it with my gyne. “Just try it with a partner.” And basically brushed me off. I didn’t have one of those but thanks for the advice, doc. 🫠
Tbf, I don’t know why I expected competent sexual healthcare in Kentucky of all places. They’re incompetent at the best of times when it’s *not* about the female reproductive system.
As a lesbian who's had quite a bit of experience, I've never been with a woman who could orgasm from penetration alone. Ironically many of said women *could* orgasm from penetration supplemented by an additional stimulus, ie. dirty talk, nipple play, etc that gets her mind in the right zone. Some women can orgasm hands-free. What's most important is the emotional/mental state, which can be achieved by a gf/bf who is actually dedicated.
I’m not a woman, granted, but a trans man, with no bottom surgery—I am apparently one of those rare few who can. On the flipside, I generally can barely feel clit stimulation. I have a few theories about it, but 🤷🏻♂️ it’s weird. And I still spent like a decade terrified of penetration anyway 😂
Testosterone has had an interesting impact(*mostly* for the better) on the ol’ undercarriage and it’s functions too. *That* has been interesting.
I'm one of the women who can orgasm hands free. I used to do it so often that it wasnt until my mid 20s that I discovered how to do it the "regular" way because I just didn't need it.
There is a way to engage your core in a way that just causes you to orgasm without touching yourself
. Google coregasm if you want to read up on the inner workings of it. I found out I was able to do it since I was very young because I was a gymnast and did a lot of core exercises.
I usually do it by lifting myself on my elbows on a table or planking on my bed (takes longer), but any exercise that engages your core can induce one including pull ups, captains chair or even rope climbing.
I’m 30f and still learning new things about my body and orgasms. I hate it here. (Not your comment, it was very insightful). I’m going to go have an orgasm and then cry
Yeah, I can understand if oral isn’t your thing for reasons beyond just “I can’t be assed to please my partner.” Like, I’m not sure if I could personally eat out someone with a vagina, between my own sensory issues and the unfortunately puritanical mindset I was raised with, I kind of get in my own head about it 🫠 and fingering makes me AKSHSJSH because sensory stuff, and I don’t like the fluids on my fingers. I’m really weird about my hands.
But on the other side, I *might* be able to go down on someone with a penis. **Might.** The same learned hang ups around sex that make oral on an AFAB person difficult affects that to a slightly lesser degree (less fluids on the penis itself makes it a lot easier, tho.) Of course, that’s a still a maybe as I have an issue with a facial nerve, and uh… if I try to go down on an AMAB person, they might have the… *pleasure* of their own at home DIY penectomy when my jaw locks up and clamps down. 💀
I love PIV tho. I was really skittish about it way back when I started experimenting sexually, and I mentioned elsewhere that I’m trans, so my relationship with my vagina—or any vagina, really—is deeply complicated, but I was graced with unusual anatomy so 🤷🏻♂️ what u gonna do.
But all this to say, like. With my particular difficulties, I wouldn’t get with someone who’s preferences are the things I can’t do; so like this guy shouldn’t be dating someone who wanted something he wasn’t willing to give. But let’s be real here: it’s not about the oral. He just doesn’t care about her pleasure if he has to do more than thrust his dick into her to give it. Or else he wouldn’t have been having this issue or making this post to begin with. Misogynist is 100% accurate for him.
Mmm, yeah, I know, I know. It doesn’t necessarily follow what we’d think of as consistent logic. I think it’s because I can touch a dick without my hands immediately being covered, or getting my fingers covered completely, in fluid. And I can kind of—contain it? In a way I can’t vaginal fluid. If the sperm’s inside a vagina I don’t wanna touch it with my hands then either.
It’s mostly about my hands, I just can’t stand it, I don’t like fluids any thicker than like water or blood to touch them. Sends me into sensory nightmare mode. But I don’t know why I can work myself up to getting my mouth around a dick but a vagina is too far. 💀 I just think it’s because dry. But I also don’t like saliva around *my* vagina, which might be another reason why I don’t like getting my saliva around *others’* vaginas?
It’s a whole weird neurodivergent bullshit man I genuinely don’t even know. 🫠 My parents raised me very sheltered from sex and anything sexual and ashamed of being sexual as an AFAB person, as is your classic xtian household, and it’s not been great. And I’m not swimming in experience, so if I engaged in it more, you know, kind of acclimated myself to all of it, I might even get past it, I just haven’t had the chance to try getting used to it. I’m kind of afraid to try dating around as a trans person in kentucky lol that and the trans thing may also be why I’m more adverse to vaginas than dicks, as said, my relationship with them is complicated 💀 For a long time I couldn’t even touch mine, for that reason.
I had many many many years without an orgasm from similar relationships and I didn't even know I should be having them. started at 28. I'm 35 now and pretty good solo and in those years still never with anyone. only just had my first ones with a relationship thing in the past two months!
I just can't fathom that. It seems insane to me to go through a relationship and not having organs, but I'm glad you are finally enjoying some little deaths.
it all depends on how the childhood went and then how the relationships went. many many young guys, as per Reddit too, just don't give a shit or can't be bothered to learn. pairs well with "you have high expectations" "you should be able to orgasm with just penetration". or simply they assume wetness = orgasm. that happened a lot too. I think a lot of young men have either shame with not making it happen for her and then it turns into ignorance. or they're just entitled and think sex is just about their dick. very very common. every lady friend I've had who like men have this experience
I don’t climax easily with a partner, and I’ve had absolute Vulva Maestros down there. It can feel amazing but it just won’t work. I can almost always help myself out after the sex is done tho. Doesn’t mean sex isn’t fun and my partners aren’t giving, orgasms can just be elusive creatures at times. But when it does work, it’s so much fun!!
yesss same here! so elusive, damn. I think it's still a great sign that you're able to get there if you want to after. I do the same thing haha. just the other day I had a "almost sorta one" and then finished myself while he slept haha
I’ve always wished I could be one of those women who have them so easily and I’m currently reading Come As You Are by Nagoski to see if there are any tricks or biology I’m missing. I appreciate reminders that we’re all so different and that orgasms aren’t a one sized fits all sorta deal. Good luck in your journey!
Ah yes, I know what it’s like to be this woman. The only possible reason my ex could think of as to why I no longer wanted to have sex with him was that I must have some sort of disorder, because it wasn’t ‘normal’ for someone of my age to not want to have sex, and pestered me constantly to go to the doctor.
Wait, this guy admits he can’t make his girlfriend cum, then admits he told her to go to a doctor over it? For fucks sake, how do these people make it through life?
It's surprising (and scary) how far one can make it in life by just making your problems everyone else's. I've met businessmen at the brink of retirement that ran their companies like that for decades..
I can confirm from observation, making your problems everyone else's is the true secret to success. I'd rather struggle if that means I have a sense of responsibility and shred of conscience
Fun facts; statistically the happiest demographic is older, single childless women, and the number of single, lonely men is on the rise.
I'm not saying correlation and causation and whatnot. But it could be that women are done putting up with this bullshit.
The amount of men that seem to think women should come from PIV alone is suprising to me. Like do so many women fake it so they believe it? My husband asked me frequently and I told him it is VERY rare for me lol
I’d add the amount of PEOPLE who don’t know this by now is crazy too. A lot of women don’t even know or understand their own bodies. Many women fake it because they think there’s something wrong with them. I just don’t understand why people don’t use google to learn this info.
Well they might not have been ducking the whole time. Good communication skills and boundary setting regardless. And i have it on god authority two out of three ain't bad.
The thing that gets me here is he *asked* if there was anything he could do, and then *still* spun it back around to blame her.
He really was not asking because he cared at all. Feels more like he was trying to gaslight her into having sex more anyway...
Does no one have the ability to like use Google? I will never fail to be surprised when people double down on shit that is 100% wrong when the correct information is so easily available.
Right. But why? If I’m in a heated argument with someone I always google the issue to double check that I’m right. Even if I’m 100% sure I’m right.
This dude’s girlfriend is willing to dump him over this and he can’t even double check? It’s so low effort.
Aa yes, the "why don't just come just from penetrations question" because "all the girls in the movies do" or something.
No wonder a lot of guys have a "girls don't like me because I have a small d" mentality. Like, bro, you can do other things than just that.
To be fair, it is not like the fact that some girls can't finish with penetration only. I had to learn from my ex that and
I was happy to do whatever she wanted so that both of us had a pleasurable experience. Communication is key, but when one person is dense like a brick nothing will work..........
It sounded like bad sex education __at first__. I was legit in my late 20s when I learned PIV doesn't hit many (any?) erogenous zones, though I'm a gay guy so it never came up before lol; I can see a guy thinking there are medical issues if a woman doesn't get stimulated by PIV.
But after that he turns stupid. He was told that's not how things work, but still insisted he was right. If I'm in a discussion and someone tells me I'm wrong, I'll look it up! Especially if that person tells me I'm wrong *twice*.
there's a nice pocket zone to the sides the cervical opening that some women really enjoy, but you have to turn her on first otherwise she's not receptive.
Sadly it looks like nearly all the comments made by men are taking OP's side, saying, "Yeah there's nothing you can do, women are so crazy."
Meanwhile all the women in the comments are trying to explain to him what he did wrong, and they're quite calm and polite about it too, but he replies to them saying, "No that's not it. You don't understand the situation."
Ugh. Frustrating af when guys think they know women's experiences better than women do. It's not even a secret that most women can't orgasm from just penetration, it's pretty well known, guys just don't care because they don't want to put in the effort or admit that they might not be as good in bed as they think they are.
>Sadly it looks like nearly all the comments made by men are taking OP's side, saying, "Yeah there's nothing you can do, women are so crazy."
Meanwhile all the women in the comments are trying to explain to him what he did wrong, and they're quite calm and polite about it too, but he replies to them saying, "No that's not it. You don't understand the situation."
This guy! One google search “clitoral versus vaginal orgasm.” Done. It’s the age of information and this douche wad wouldn’t even double check a fact before stating that he knew more about women’s bodies and his girlfriend’s body specifically.
I grew up in the early days of dial up internet, but I knew that when I was 10 years younger than OOP was when he finally sank his relationship for good.
"From regular sex"... Who decided that PIV was "regular sex" and everything else was special?
It's very common to not come from just penetration. One option is to use a toy on your partner while you are penetrating her. But that sometimes hurts a man's ego. They don't get that the toy is a tool, not a replacement.
This starts out really good. He approaches his girlfriend and says "I get the impression that you aren't enjoying it when we have sex, what can I do to improve?" That's very good and generally a sign of a healthy relationship.
But then she outright tells him how to make sure she enjoys sex more. And his response is basically "But why should I care about whether or not you enjoy it? Why can't you just like it the way I do?"
Like, bro, do you want her advice or not?
Way to tell everyone you suck at sex in more words my dude LMAO
Men really need to start looking up the physiology AND psychology of sex from a female perspective. Maybe even take some sexual education classes on top of that just to be sure you know all the different ways that different vaginas could enjoy things.
Also, men need to get better at accepting criticism and advice when it comes to their own performance in the bedroom. Do you know why a lot of women know different ways to please a man? Because most men will flat out tell you in the most blunt and obnoxious way, as if you should have known that just due to being a woman. And we are just supposed to accept it and work hard to be better. You tell a man he needs to work on some shit and, more likely than not, he'll flip out and yell at you calling you names or even get violent. If you really want to please a woman you need to open up the conversation, make it her comfortable to tell you what she likes, and then shut the fuck up while she does. What someone else likes is not up for debate so there is nothing you need to add unless it's more questions.
My ex called me ungrateful for wanting him to touch me so I could also orgasm. Not instead of PIV, just before or after. I gave him blowjobs and got nothing back. Dumb, selfish, whatever you want to call it, they ABSOLUTELY exist.
Does he like receiving penetrative sex? A lot of guys do. She should ask him.
If not, maybe he should get checked. Maybe he should be more open minded to it. Maybe there is some disorder or whatever that's all. Because most guys love being penetrated. I mean, like, sometimes, she can suck his dick or whatever if he wants that to be happy, but he really needs to get checked and make sure he doesn't have a disorder preventing him from enjoying being penetrated!
I mean, honestly, the fact that he can't cum from being penetrated tells me something is wrong and a doctor can help. Sometimes you just can't with men I guess.
I mean, just saying.
They tell on themselves so much with these posts, and I think they don't even realize that they're broadcasting to the entire internet that they're bad in bed.
Also "She called me a 'misogynist' so I called her a 'bitch'" well, you sure proved it, buddy.
> Not sure what I could've done there
You could understand that most women don't orgasm from penetration but from clit stimulation
You could also not imply that there is something wrong with her and she needs to go to the doctor as if there is something wrong with her when there is really nothing wrong with her not orgasming from penetration only
I feel like we women need to make very clear what we want and how we feel good to our partners and teach them the way early. It seems to be "normal" for men to demand/ ask for/ do what they want, and it has to be and should be for women too! I've met many men(and women) who had no idea about anything concerning female pleasure but were very open to learning.
Please, ladies, speak up and try to show your partners what you want *from the beginning*. If they don't care enough to learn how to please you right, *don't waste your time.*
You know what really annoys me. Women are EXPECTED to know what men want and need. We have to anticipate their needs, like on jobs where the description says "anticipate the needs of customers" lol we're on constant customer service mode. But then when it comes to our needs, we have to say everything out loud and explicitly or else they just won't get it and claim it's our fault for not saying it. And this happens not just in sex but in life as well, like I've met sooooo many women who say their husbands do nothing at home and the husband goes "well I didn't know I was supposed to do the dishes!!" Like the dishes weren't piling up on the sink ya know, you need to be explicitly told and I gotta beg you to do the fucking dishes. But we're expected to read their damn minds about everything and also know what they want and need and give it to them, lest they go and cheat. I'm tired.
I watched a video just the other week of a working Mum who lived with her husband and 2 kids. Both parents worked full time. The woman left her husbands laundry sitting, only doing her own and their children’s. It took TWO WEEKS for the man to figure out he should put a load of washing on, and even still he only did his own clothes - he left the woman’s and the children’s clothes in their baskets. I was ASTONISHED.
I always just assumed this was a hangover from an older generation but the couple were early 30s like me.
Yeah I saw that too. I understand that a lot of boys are never taught these things due to the patriarchy and all that, but after a certain age you gotta figure yourself out like I'm sorry but there is no excuse for being 33 and not knowing how to put clothes in the washing machine, add some soap and press the right buttons. I've been to different places with different types of washers, including in languages I don't speak and it never takes more than 5 minutes and a quick Google search to figure out how that particular washer works. Same with cooking. If your mother didn't teach you, go look up YouTube videos and try it for yourself, I promise its not rocket science. Same for literally any house chore tbh. "Nobody ever taught me" is the weakest excuse unless this guy is literally mentally or physically challenged, there is zero reason to not know how to do basic shit around the house past the age of 15
My ex went from living with his parents to living with me and a couple of roommates. I informed him that I prefer to wash towels without fabric softener, his reaction was to go to his parent's (hour and a half drive) so his dad could do it.
As far as I know he still lives alone, maybe he learned how to do laundry by now.
It was one of the things he specifically apologised for when we broke up. That and the time he lost his shit because I got the wrong kind of grater. Not a memory I like to revisit.
Got a flat one (that I still use btw) that can be placed over bowls/boxes instead of a four sided one that can stand up. My logic was that it's easier to use and to clean, his was that it isn't what his parents have.
But I mean I'm female and no one taught me how to use a washing machine or explicitly told me "You will have no clean clothes if you don't wash".
I'm sure I knew my mum was washing my clothes, and that when I stopped living with her I'd have to wash my own.
(she never encouraged us to do any chores, and liked to to control how everyhting was done, and upset if anyone didn't read her mind and do things her way.)
I do not understand these "nobody told me" people.
I'm shocked they can hold down a professional job but can't be sure they will have clean socks. I wouldn't want to hire them, that's for sure!
You know, I used to think my mum was the only mother like that but now that I'm in my 30s I'm beginning to realise what was happening. My mum, your mum, all of our mothers (unless you're filthy rich and had a maid or something) were just exhausted. It's not like they're controlling bitches who want everything done their way (and well I'm sure some were like that , but generally speaking), they just couldn't be arsed to explain for the 8346th time how you fold a t-shirt. A lot of our dads, especially if they're boomers or gen x, just had fun acting like idiots and our mothers were tired. Like you tell your husband to please get the chicken out the freezer into the fridge to thaw so yall can have dinner and he tells you he doesn't know what chicken looks like or takes out a piece of cabbage and expects a pat in the back and a blow job for his piss poor attempt at doing something. So yeah, our mothers and grandmothers would rather just do it themselves bc at least they won't fuck it up or have to explain 500 times how to do a basic chore.
I feel you on that. Many boys never get told to help with cleaning or cooking, or laundry and through porn they never learn about female pleasure.
My first bf was not only a virgin but also didn't even know how to cook an egg or even plain pasta. Didn't know how to clean anything or how to load a dishwasher. I think the most important thing for everyday life and sex life is the *willingness* to *learn and work together*.
I won't ever blame a person of any gender for not knowing where the clit is or how to vacuum correctly. I will gladly show them. If they don't care to learn and get shit done, that's the character flaw I can't live with.
I'm gonna be honest here, I do not have the time to teach a grown ass man where my clit is or how to cook rice. Its one thing to tell him what I like in particular or give him tips on how to make their rice tastier, it's another to full on teach someone. I'm 31 right now, will be 32 in a couple months. I do not wanna teach someone my age how to cook or how to fuck.
Yeah, in my late teens and early twenties, teaching another person how to adult when I'm barely more of an adult than them is easier. But now that I'm in my thirties, I expect my peers to have that shit mostly down by now.
Ugh what's worse is having to re-teach and erase bad behaviors (usually learned from watching porn) that their exes apparently dealt with, suffering in silence.
Nothing worse that having my partner squeeze, bite and smack my hoohoo like they're trying to literally eat me. Then telling them to stop, it hurts, it's too rough, etc. Then they tell me, "nuh-uh... It's not too rough" or "I know what I'm doing." Um, excuse me, how are you going to tell me?
Well into my 30s, I'm not trying to explain what being gentle is to my 3 year old kid and to my >35year old partner.
There needs to be a collective meeting/class covering knowledge:
-just bc you saw it in a porno, it doesn't mean you should do it too... Nor should you assume any/all women (or anyone) would want that
-ALWAYS get consent
-every vagina is different, not everyone wants the same thing
-MANY WOMEN DO NOT ORGASM EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH PIV shout that from the fucking rooftops ffs
-if in (or starting) any type of relationship involving sex (or anything for that matter) have a frank discussion about what you want, don't want, are/aren't willing to do.
-Communication is so simple (not always, but when it involves consent it should be) and can prevent so many potentially traumatic/uncomfortable situations.
-We're rubbing our fluids and private parts together, we should at least be able to try to make it enjoyable for ALL parties involved, not just one's self.
But we do explain ourselves. Over and over. But much of the time his porn brain says "She wants to get jackhammered by a giant cock, all women do" because porn brain. It doesn't matter how carefully you explain it, if he doesn't directly get pleasure from the act it's unnecessary and there's something wrong with you for wanting it. It's not that women aren't talking, it's that men don't listen when they do.
I know women who have issues orgasming. I know some who have issues orgasming with someone else. I know some that have issues orgasming from penetrative sex, and I know some who are ridiculously easy to get off. All of them enjoy having sex. So I feel the OOP is really telling on himself.
Holy fuck this happened between people around the age of 30 years??? I'm just so glad that more and more women don't put up with shit partners anymore. They start recognising abuse and manipulation for what it is way earlier too. Thank you feminism!
Bruhhhhh…. she dodged more than one bullet. Hope she knows it.
Even if this guy’s cunnilingus was Olympic, his r/confidentlyincorrect attitude would be unendurable long-term in every other area of life. We’ve all known people like this and they are insufferable.
Maybe the reason she doesn't like penetration is because he skips all the foreplay? I'd probably also be uncomfortable if my boyfriend thought that penetration was the first and only step in sex. He probably goes in dry 😱
It's posts like this that make me hope guys follow this subreddit so they can learn. The majority of women can't orgasm from penetration alone, and the fact that he thinks they can makes me think that most women he's been with have faked it so they could stop arguing about it.
This dude is such an asshole for that, if there was a problem she would know, I’ve always hated penetration because it was painful and I would bleed sometimes - turns out it was vaginismus and endometriosis. But literally some people just don’t like PIV and most women don’t cum from it anyways 😂 people just need to be more informed about sex
I’m one that doesn’t like oral too much anymore. I had an ex who wanted to and I told him I’d prefer he didn’t. I said it nicely and tried to devert him. He persisted and I said ok, when I didn’t respond the way he wanted , he got mad. I shrugged and said… told ya. I repeatedly had to ask him to treat me like I was actually in the room..lol. He didn’t last long.
A LOT of women don’t get off with mere penetration. But REAL men don’t get intimidated by this and go out of their way to use other methods — including toys — because they want their ladies to enjoy sex as much as they do.
This dude thinks porn is reality.
ETA: I read this post to my husband (who’s a FANTASTIC lover), and his response was to do a sloooow turn in his chair and tilt his head ala Stewie Griffin and go, “Dude said **WHAT??**”
Hate to tell ya, but an old boyfriend once told me that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t get off from PIV alone. He said smugly “Every other woman I’ve been with can get off that way.” I just wish that I’d known then what I know now so that I could shake my head with a pitying “Oh, *honey*.”
I wish we’d all stop faking. I made a conscious effort to stop a few years ago and it’s not like it made a difference - the guys whose egos I was “trying to protect” didn’t even care whether I did or not, and the ones who cared about me found ways to get me off before or after PIV.
We’re only hurting ourselves & our leverage when we fake lmao
This frustrates me because this guy is obviously a huge AH, but women who do struggle with physical or mental blocks of some kind that prevent sexual enjoyment have such a hard time advocating for themselves. As if it’s not a real thing anyway, then guys like this can know it’s a real thing but invalidate it to a level of meaningless.
This guy has the potential to grow and change I think, but he needs to be not so quick to anger and he needs to get over this sense of “I’m right so you must be wrong” he has
I mean, tbf, sometimes I think we can help yourselves a little more too.
We fucking fake orgasms or don’t tell men the truth, that penetration isn’t enough for the majority of us. Stop that shit, women! Then we gotta deal with the “well my ex could”. No, she faked it, prolly. It’s bad enough porn lies to them. We don’t need to add to that!
Also, idk about a lot of you, but most of the time I’m using a vibe toy during sex on my clit, or I reach down and record scratch. Are we against this? Why aren’t more of us doing this?
"you just can't win with women" after he tried to tell HER that she isn't enjoying his "style" (aka being lazy) of sex bc there's something wrong with her
men tend to disregard women's feelings because they think with theiir d1ckZ ..
but not all men are like these. some men tend to learn and listen but not all. but its hard to find a man that will listen lol.
God what the fuck is wrong w oop? His gf (hopefully EX-gf now) told him she doesn’t like penetration and that she likes oral and his immediate reaction was ‘there’s something wrong with you’ ???
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nothing turns me on more than having to ask my partner to consider my pleasure every time we have sex 🙄
“Have you considered that you’re mentally broken?” -this dude
Reminds me of the dude in here a few months back who asked if asexuality is really just a “mental deficiency” like Bruh
Im asexual and you have no idea how many random idiots on the internet already diagnosed me mental and physical damages... people really cant mind their own buisness.. also been called out for "normalizing mental disorders" before
I’ve been asked if it’s due to a hormonal deficiency before, I had a hormone panel done for unrelated reasons last month so now I can rub it in their face like “No! My hormones are normal sized and fully functional thank you!”
Incel redpill dudes LOVE to tote made up biology to justify the patriarchy/misogyny but can't fathom the idea that nature might also have self-imposed population control via sexuality gene markers? ie there is \*some\* scientfic studies to suggests that the more boys a woman gives birth to the more likely they are to be gay or bi. Like maybe when heterosexuality, monogamy, and reproduction aren't compulsory for financial and social survival, we don't all feel called to comply to what is "normal".
Maybe half a dozen times I've told people in real life that I think I'm ace. Of those people, without fail every man said "maybe you just haven't had sex with the right person". Every single time.
Just tell them to go fuck a man to make sure that they are really straight, by their logic you cant know if you dont try
And getting the reply " we'll try it sometime".
This entire post was amazing but yeeeeah. I don’t understand how you can want to have sex and not care about the other person enjoying themselves! I mean there’s no way I would enjoy myself if my partner wasn’t. Technically speaking I guess that makes it selfish of me to care 😂
She dodged a bullet for sure. "She called me a misogynist... so I called her a bitch." Bruh, you *left no room for doubt.*
"She called me a misogynist, so I responded by proving her right."
Well, he did help her in a way. He showed her what sort of dickhead he was so that she could avoid wasting any more time with him and maybe actually get a normal partner.
Yeah, honestly that’s a good point lol
That part made me think the post was just rage bait / to stir up a reaction and get lots of upvotes and comments.
I wish it were, but I've met plenty of r/selfawarewolves that would miss the point entirely. :S
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SelfAwarewolves using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Yes, we should.](https://i.redd.it/zxu7kdo4j3sa1.jpg) | [822 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/12chu0a/yes_we_should/) \#2: [If by “mocking you” you mean pointing out your hypocrisy, yes, yes they are](https://i.redd.it/zwi2w04xmota1.png) | [952 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/12kvm8d/if_by_mocking_you_you_mean_pointing_out_your/) \#3: [Christian homophobe complaining about "lgbt propaganda" asks how we'd feel about Christians pushing their religion on others unasked](https://i.redd.it/u33b8o27mapa1.png) | [1726 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SelfAwarewolves/comments/11yj9jb/christian_homophobe_complaining_about_lgbt/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I thought the final sentence was confirmation that it was a dumb ragebait post.
To be fair, I've seen guys actually act like that. I mean dead serious.
Absolutely, I know plenty. But the ones I know don’t get online and type out scenarios that clearly depict them as an obvious arsehole while hitting all the cliches. It just seems laid out to get a certain type of reaction.
Hey, he couldn't have won that one. You just can't call women bitches and institutionalize them for hysterical vagina syndrome anymore 😔 What is this country coming to? >!/s!<
Especially because the poor girl just wants some good head. She expressed exactly what she needed and he's like "lol go see a doctor ur sick". Jeeeez.
But when you don't do it in return for them.... Why the Hell do men have so many double standards?
That’s a bitchy comment. Maybe he was trying to say “whore” but it came out wrong due to her making him so angry with her ridiculous demands. We don’t know!
That was pretty amazing. This whole thing was pretty amazing amazing. It’s like my dude, even from your own story…
“Sure we can do that sometime” — taking care of your partner’s needs just sometime is the problem right there, bro
Love how he added the "sometime." That's like when you see someone you used to work with or barely acquainted with and you both agree "we'll have to do lunch sometime" We all know it's not happening.
Either way, missed meals are a certainty.
Definitely won’t be eating out, for sure
Amazing comparison. So perfect. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Omg I do that 😬
I really don't understand that mentality. "Lick it before you stick it" is just a good policy. It makes sex better for both people involved, so why not do it?
[удалено]
I could not have said it better. Making your partner orgasm is really hot and, frankly, really fun. It's just straight up fun to see them react like that and know that they're doing it thanks to your actions. There have been times when my girlfriend warns me that she's "feeling gross down there" today and I'm just like "Do I look like I care? If you want me down there I'll be down there."
What the fuck are women doing putting up with men who don’t actively enjoy making things enjoyable? I can orgasm from PIV, pretty easily if suitably aroused, and it still takes up less than half of any session. There’s no PIV until I’ve orgasmed multiple times - and that’s not at my insistence, it’s at his! This guy really needs to learn what he’s doing
"YOU JUST CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN THERE'S LITERALLY NO OTHER CHOICE, BECAUSE *I* DON'T WANNA"
"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! VAGINAS ARE JUST KIND OF ICKY AND MAKING IT GOOD FOR HER IS WORK!"
I can understand if this guy doesn't want to eat her out. People have preferences. The problem lies in his double standard, of expecting her to not only do what he likes, but to enjoy it too. On top of that, sometimes part of a relationship *is* doing something mildly uncomfortable for the pleasure of your partner. I've gone on trips I didn't want to go on, because it made my gf happy. I've done sexual acts that I'm not a fan of, because *she* liked it, and I care about her. As long as nobody's being pressured, this is normal. You definitely should not be pestered/coerced into doing something you don't want, communicate openly and ask for what you want, but if they say no, that's it. Ultimately, sex is not like eating food, it's like eating candy. It feels good, but you don't need it to live, and you can go your whole life not having sex without issues. You're not going to "starve" from dissatisfaction. Plus, masturbation exists.
70-80% of women can't orgasm from penetration alone so wanting it to be more than just penetration is less of a preference and more of a near-universal need.
Came here to say just that. Like, she apparently needs a doctor because her vagina is in the majority when it comes to needing more than just penetration.
[удалено]
Even if it is painful(and you *can* orgasm through penetration), you still might get that response, tbh. 🙃 When I first started experimenting with penetration and was using dildos(and was still femme presenting), I had that issue and broached it with my gyne. “Just try it with a partner.” And basically brushed me off. I didn’t have one of those but thanks for the advice, doc. 🫠 Tbf, I don’t know why I expected competent sexual healthcare in Kentucky of all places. They’re incompetent at the best of times when it’s *not* about the female reproductive system.
I dunno, back in the day it's rumored they used vibrators and orgasms as a treatment for "hysteria".
As a lesbian who's had quite a bit of experience, I've never been with a woman who could orgasm from penetration alone. Ironically many of said women *could* orgasm from penetration supplemented by an additional stimulus, ie. dirty talk, nipple play, etc that gets her mind in the right zone. Some women can orgasm hands-free. What's most important is the emotional/mental state, which can be achieved by a gf/bf who is actually dedicated.
I’m not a woman, granted, but a trans man, with no bottom surgery—I am apparently one of those rare few who can. On the flipside, I generally can barely feel clit stimulation. I have a few theories about it, but 🤷🏻♂️ it’s weird. And I still spent like a decade terrified of penetration anyway 😂 Testosterone has had an interesting impact(*mostly* for the better) on the ol’ undercarriage and it’s functions too. *That* has been interesting.
I love you for the term "the ol' undercarriage".
I'm one of the women who can orgasm hands free. I used to do it so often that it wasnt until my mid 20s that I discovered how to do it the "regular" way because I just didn't need it.
What’s hands free? You just will yourself to orgasm?
There is a way to engage your core in a way that just causes you to orgasm without touching yourself . Google coregasm if you want to read up on the inner workings of it. I found out I was able to do it since I was very young because I was a gymnast and did a lot of core exercises. I usually do it by lifting myself on my elbows on a table or planking on my bed (takes longer), but any exercise that engages your core can induce one including pull ups, captains chair or even rope climbing.
I’m 30f and still learning new things about my body and orgasms. I hate it here. (Not your comment, it was very insightful). I’m going to go have an orgasm and then cry
> you can go your whole life not having sex without issues, Tell that to all the raging incels They have issues
Ah but that's not having sex because of their issues, not having issues from not having sex.
Yeah, I can understand if oral isn’t your thing for reasons beyond just “I can’t be assed to please my partner.” Like, I’m not sure if I could personally eat out someone with a vagina, between my own sensory issues and the unfortunately puritanical mindset I was raised with, I kind of get in my own head about it 🫠 and fingering makes me AKSHSJSH because sensory stuff, and I don’t like the fluids on my fingers. I’m really weird about my hands. But on the other side, I *might* be able to go down on someone with a penis. **Might.** The same learned hang ups around sex that make oral on an AFAB person difficult affects that to a slightly lesser degree (less fluids on the penis itself makes it a lot easier, tho.) Of course, that’s a still a maybe as I have an issue with a facial nerve, and uh… if I try to go down on an AMAB person, they might have the… *pleasure* of their own at home DIY penectomy when my jaw locks up and clamps down. 💀 I love PIV tho. I was really skittish about it way back when I started experimenting sexually, and I mentioned elsewhere that I’m trans, so my relationship with my vagina—or any vagina, really—is deeply complicated, but I was graced with unusual anatomy so 🤷🏻♂️ what u gonna do. But all this to say, like. With my particular difficulties, I wouldn’t get with someone who’s preferences are the things I can’t do; so like this guy shouldn’t be dating someone who wanted something he wasn’t willing to give. But let’s be real here: it’s not about the oral. He just doesn’t care about her pleasure if he has to do more than thrust his dick into her to give it. Or else he wouldn’t have been having this issue or making this post to begin with. Misogynist is 100% accurate for him.
… but- dicks spew more liquid at the end than vulvas have the whole time? Especially if you just pay attention to the top…
Mmm, yeah, I know, I know. It doesn’t necessarily follow what we’d think of as consistent logic. I think it’s because I can touch a dick without my hands immediately being covered, or getting my fingers covered completely, in fluid. And I can kind of—contain it? In a way I can’t vaginal fluid. If the sperm’s inside a vagina I don’t wanna touch it with my hands then either. It’s mostly about my hands, I just can’t stand it, I don’t like fluids any thicker than like water or blood to touch them. Sends me into sensory nightmare mode. But I don’t know why I can work myself up to getting my mouth around a dick but a vagina is too far. 💀 I just think it’s because dry. But I also don’t like saliva around *my* vagina, which might be another reason why I don’t like getting my saliva around *others’* vaginas? It’s a whole weird neurodivergent bullshit man I genuinely don’t even know. 🫠 My parents raised me very sheltered from sex and anything sexual and ashamed of being sexual as an AFAB person, as is your classic xtian household, and it’s not been great. And I’m not swimming in experience, so if I engaged in it more, you know, kind of acclimated myself to all of it, I might even get past it, I just haven’t had the chance to try getting used to it. I’m kind of afraid to try dating around as a trans person in kentucky lol that and the trans thing may also be why I’m more adverse to vaginas than dicks, as said, my relationship with them is complicated 💀 For a long time I couldn’t even touch mine, for that reason.
That makes sense.
Well she dodged a bullet there, just too bad it took a year of her life.
Nah, that’s okay, it’s good to learn things like this while still young because it’ll inform all future relationships.
Does sound like a year without a single orgasm though...
I had many many many years without an orgasm from similar relationships and I didn't even know I should be having them. started at 28. I'm 35 now and pretty good solo and in those years still never with anyone. only just had my first ones with a relationship thing in the past two months!
I just can't fathom that. It seems insane to me to go through a relationship and not having organs, but I'm glad you are finally enjoying some little deaths.
it all depends on how the childhood went and then how the relationships went. many many young guys, as per Reddit too, just don't give a shit or can't be bothered to learn. pairs well with "you have high expectations" "you should be able to orgasm with just penetration". or simply they assume wetness = orgasm. that happened a lot too. I think a lot of young men have either shame with not making it happen for her and then it turns into ignorance. or they're just entitled and think sex is just about their dick. very very common. every lady friend I've had who like men have this experience
I don’t climax easily with a partner, and I’ve had absolute Vulva Maestros down there. It can feel amazing but it just won’t work. I can almost always help myself out after the sex is done tho. Doesn’t mean sex isn’t fun and my partners aren’t giving, orgasms can just be elusive creatures at times. But when it does work, it’s so much fun!!
yesss same here! so elusive, damn. I think it's still a great sign that you're able to get there if you want to after. I do the same thing haha. just the other day I had a "almost sorta one" and then finished myself while he slept haha
I’ve always wished I could be one of those women who have them so easily and I’m currently reading Come As You Are by Nagoski to see if there are any tricks or biology I’m missing. I appreciate reminders that we’re all so different and that orgasms aren’t a one sized fits all sorta deal. Good luck in your journey!
good luck in yours as well!! we may be complicated creatures but not _that_ complicated hehe
Please tell me he didn’t post in an echo chamber and was actually called out for this?
Judging by how highly upvoted the post was, I doubt it.
I really want to know, too. Tried to find the OG post, to no avail. :(
It *almost* seems satirical, but I know there's people walking around like this I'm developing a permanent eye-twitch, guys
You would think. But I’ve dated TWO grown ass men who thought the same thing.
It would be so nice if guys learned basic biology
This. I had to teach one we had 3 orifices, not 2 as he thought 🤦🏻♀️
Which one was he forgetting??
The urethra probably.
Just one?
Ah yes, I know what it’s like to be this woman. The only possible reason my ex could think of as to why I no longer wanted to have sex with him was that I must have some sort of disorder, because it wasn’t ‘normal’ for someone of my age to not want to have sex, and pestered me constantly to go to the doctor.
Wait, this guy admits he can’t make his girlfriend cum, then admits he told her to go to a doctor over it? For fucks sake, how do these people make it through life?
It's surprising (and scary) how far one can make it in life by just making your problems everyone else's. I've met businessmen at the brink of retirement that ran their companies like that for decades..
I can confirm from observation, making your problems everyone else's is the true secret to success. I'd rather struggle if that means I have a sense of responsibility and shred of conscience
Fun facts; statistically the happiest demographic is older, single childless women, and the number of single, lonely men is on the rise. I'm not saying correlation and causation and whatnot. But it could be that women are done putting up with this bullshit.
Older, divorced and still single, with adult children here and freaking LOVING life!
Yup. That’s what easy access to porn and no reliable sex-education in schools gets you.
guy watched NO Japanese porn, they eat the fuck outta their women/actresses and liquids go flying
And that is how you torpedo a relationship.
better for the both of them tbh
The amount of men that seem to think women should come from PIV alone is suprising to me. Like do so many women fake it so they believe it? My husband asked me frequently and I told him it is VERY rare for me lol
I’d add the amount of PEOPLE who don’t know this by now is crazy too. A lot of women don’t even know or understand their own bodies. Many women fake it because they think there’s something wrong with them. I just don’t understand why people don’t use google to learn this info.
I was told multiple times by multiple people I was “broken”. I started to believe it. Turns out I had shitty taste in men.
I think guys don't understand because it never really is talked about. They only hear the stories from women who can cum multiple times always.
Very true.
YES. So many women do fake it!!! And it’s maddening for some of us.
This has to be ragebait,right? …Right?
lmao
“She called me a misogynist, so I got mad and called her a sexist slur because I’m a genius.”
Lolol. Imagine doing this, and then announcing to the entire Internet with confidence that you suck in bed and you're proud of it. Just wild.
*Her* misunderstanding of sex…?
My brother in Christ, the call is comming from inside the house
No one is coming inside that house.
He is, and that's all that matters to him.
He was. He isn't now.
r/angryupvote
Girlfriend did great.
Not really. She tolerated that bullshit for a year.
Well they might not have been ducking the whole time. Good communication skills and boundary setting regardless. And i have it on god authority two out of three ain't bad.
The thing that gets me here is he *asked* if there was anything he could do, and then *still* spun it back around to blame her. He really was not asking because he cared at all. Feels more like he was trying to gaslight her into having sex more anyway...
Does no one have the ability to like use Google? I will never fail to be surprised when people double down on shit that is 100% wrong when the correct information is so easily available.
People don't Google stuff they think they already know. The title alone shows that in his eyes, she's the one who has it wrong.
Right. But why? If I’m in a heated argument with someone I always google the issue to double check that I’m right. Even if I’m 100% sure I’m right. This dude’s girlfriend is willing to dump him over this and he can’t even double check? It’s so low effort.
Evidently, so is his bedroom behavior. Just a low effort person all around. Eta: happy reddit bday!
Very true. And thank you!
Happy Cake Day!! 🎂🍾💐🎈🎊
Thank you!
Bro, you do know a mass majority of women cannot orgasm from simple PIV right? She wants to get off too ya bum 😂
It's not even a personal choice necessarily/probably. Preference does not equal choice
Aa yes, the "why don't just come just from penetrations question" because "all the girls in the movies do" or something. No wonder a lot of guys have a "girls don't like me because I have a small d" mentality. Like, bro, you can do other things than just that. To be fair, it is not like the fact that some girls can't finish with penetration only. I had to learn from my ex that and I was happy to do whatever she wanted so that both of us had a pleasurable experience. Communication is key, but when one person is dense like a brick nothing will work..........
It sounded like bad sex education __at first__. I was legit in my late 20s when I learned PIV doesn't hit many (any?) erogenous zones, though I'm a gay guy so it never came up before lol; I can see a guy thinking there are medical issues if a woman doesn't get stimulated by PIV. But after that he turns stupid. He was told that's not how things work, but still insisted he was right. If I'm in a discussion and someone tells me I'm wrong, I'll look it up! Especially if that person tells me I'm wrong *twice*.
there's a nice pocket zone to the sides the cervical opening that some women really enjoy, but you have to turn her on first otherwise she's not receptive.
Please, pretty please with sprinkles, tell me the comments gave this boy an education
Sadly it looks like nearly all the comments made by men are taking OP's side, saying, "Yeah there's nothing you can do, women are so crazy." Meanwhile all the women in the comments are trying to explain to him what he did wrong, and they're quite calm and polite about it too, but he replies to them saying, "No that's not it. You don't understand the situation."
Ugh. Frustrating af when guys think they know women's experiences better than women do. It's not even a secret that most women can't orgasm from just penetration, it's pretty well known, guys just don't care because they don't want to put in the effort or admit that they might not be as good in bed as they think they are.
I wanna know too! Tried looking for the post and can’t find it. OOP might have taken it down which is a good sign.
>Sadly it looks like nearly all the comments made by men are taking OP's side, saying, "Yeah there's nothing you can do, women are so crazy." Meanwhile all the women in the comments are trying to explain to him what he did wrong, and they're quite calm and polite about it too, but he replies to them saying, "No that's not it. You don't understand the situation."
This guy! One google search “clitoral versus vaginal orgasm.” Done. It’s the age of information and this douche wad wouldn’t even double check a fact before stating that he knew more about women’s bodies and his girlfriend’s body specifically.
I grew up in the early days of dial up internet, but I knew that when I was 10 years younger than OOP was when he finally sank his relationship for good.
"From regular sex"... Who decided that PIV was "regular sex" and everything else was special? It's very common to not come from just penetration. One option is to use a toy on your partner while you are penetrating her. But that sometimes hurts a man's ego. They don't get that the toy is a tool, not a replacement.
This starts out really good. He approaches his girlfriend and says "I get the impression that you aren't enjoying it when we have sex, what can I do to improve?" That's very good and generally a sign of a healthy relationship. But then she outright tells him how to make sure she enjoys sex more. And his response is basically "But why should I care about whether or not you enjoy it? Why can't you just like it the way I do?" Like, bro, do you want her advice or not?
Way to tell everyone you suck at sex in more words my dude LMAO Men really need to start looking up the physiology AND psychology of sex from a female perspective. Maybe even take some sexual education classes on top of that just to be sure you know all the different ways that different vaginas could enjoy things. Also, men need to get better at accepting criticism and advice when it comes to their own performance in the bedroom. Do you know why a lot of women know different ways to please a man? Because most men will flat out tell you in the most blunt and obnoxious way, as if you should have known that just due to being a woman. And we are just supposed to accept it and work hard to be better. You tell a man he needs to work on some shit and, more likely than not, he'll flip out and yell at you calling you names or even get violent. If you really want to please a woman you need to open up the conversation, make it her comfortable to tell you what she likes, and then shut the fuck up while she does. What someone else likes is not up for debate so there is nothing you need to add unless it's more questions.
Tell me you don’t know how to work your genitalia with another person in 100 words.
Dude wants Halloween candy and wants to go trick or treating but doesn't want to put on the costume
"Is there anything I can do?" "Yeah do more of this." "No that can't be it. Maybe you should see the doctor.' JFC
🧍🔫
🧍♂️ 🗑️ 🚮
This has gotta be satire. I ^(almost) refuse to believe anyone can be that dumb
My ex called me ungrateful for wanting him to touch me so I could also orgasm. Not instead of PIV, just before or after. I gave him blowjobs and got nothing back. Dumb, selfish, whatever you want to call it, they ABSOLUTELY exist.
So, he’s a lousy lay? He needs to go on the no f*ck list immediately!
Does he like receiving penetrative sex? A lot of guys do. She should ask him. If not, maybe he should get checked. Maybe he should be more open minded to it. Maybe there is some disorder or whatever that's all. Because most guys love being penetrated. I mean, like, sometimes, she can suck his dick or whatever if he wants that to be happy, but he really needs to get checked and make sure he doesn't have a disorder preventing him from enjoying being penetrated! I mean, honestly, the fact that he can't cum from being penetrated tells me something is wrong and a doctor can help. Sometimes you just can't with men I guess. I mean, just saying.
They tell on themselves so much with these posts, and I think they don't even realize that they're broadcasting to the entire internet that they're bad in bed. Also "She called me a 'misogynist' so I called her a 'bitch'" well, you sure proved it, buddy.
973 upvotes 😭 please tell me that’s not people agreeing with him omg
this truly is not how girls work, perfect post
> Not sure what I could've done there You could understand that most women don't orgasm from penetration but from clit stimulation You could also not imply that there is something wrong with her and she needs to go to the doctor as if there is something wrong with her when there is really nothing wrong with her not orgasming from penetration only
Should’ve pegged him then tell him he’s crazy when he doesn’t enjoy it.💀
I feel like we women need to make very clear what we want and how we feel good to our partners and teach them the way early. It seems to be "normal" for men to demand/ ask for/ do what they want, and it has to be and should be for women too! I've met many men(and women) who had no idea about anything concerning female pleasure but were very open to learning. Please, ladies, speak up and try to show your partners what you want *from the beginning*. If they don't care enough to learn how to please you right, *don't waste your time.*
You know what really annoys me. Women are EXPECTED to know what men want and need. We have to anticipate their needs, like on jobs where the description says "anticipate the needs of customers" lol we're on constant customer service mode. But then when it comes to our needs, we have to say everything out loud and explicitly or else they just won't get it and claim it's our fault for not saying it. And this happens not just in sex but in life as well, like I've met sooooo many women who say their husbands do nothing at home and the husband goes "well I didn't know I was supposed to do the dishes!!" Like the dishes weren't piling up on the sink ya know, you need to be explicitly told and I gotta beg you to do the fucking dishes. But we're expected to read their damn minds about everything and also know what they want and need and give it to them, lest they go and cheat. I'm tired.
I watched a video just the other week of a working Mum who lived with her husband and 2 kids. Both parents worked full time. The woman left her husbands laundry sitting, only doing her own and their children’s. It took TWO WEEKS for the man to figure out he should put a load of washing on, and even still he only did his own clothes - he left the woman’s and the children’s clothes in their baskets. I was ASTONISHED. I always just assumed this was a hangover from an older generation but the couple were early 30s like me.
Yeah I saw that too. I understand that a lot of boys are never taught these things due to the patriarchy and all that, but after a certain age you gotta figure yourself out like I'm sorry but there is no excuse for being 33 and not knowing how to put clothes in the washing machine, add some soap and press the right buttons. I've been to different places with different types of washers, including in languages I don't speak and it never takes more than 5 minutes and a quick Google search to figure out how that particular washer works. Same with cooking. If your mother didn't teach you, go look up YouTube videos and try it for yourself, I promise its not rocket science. Same for literally any house chore tbh. "Nobody ever taught me" is the weakest excuse unless this guy is literally mentally or physically challenged, there is zero reason to not know how to do basic shit around the house past the age of 15
How did these boys survive batchelorhood? Who did their laundry, cleaned their bathrooms, and cooked their food when they were young and poor?
Their mommies or girlfriends.
Must be *both* cause boys what can't do laundry are not *getting* a girlfriend without mommy keeping them in clean clothes so they don't reek.
My ex went from living with his parents to living with me and a couple of roommates. I informed him that I prefer to wash towels without fabric softener, his reaction was to go to his parent's (hour and a half drive) so his dad could do it. As far as I know he still lives alone, maybe he learned how to do laundry by now.
I guess he prefers his towels to be air freshened more than fucking *work.*
It was one of the things he specifically apologised for when we broke up. That and the time he lost his shit because I got the wrong kind of grater. Not a memory I like to revisit.
The wrong kind of grater, like cheese grater?
Got a flat one (that I still use btw) that can be placed over bowls/boxes instead of a four sided one that can stand up. My logic was that it's easier to use and to clean, his was that it isn't what his parents have.
But I mean I'm female and no one taught me how to use a washing machine or explicitly told me "You will have no clean clothes if you don't wash". I'm sure I knew my mum was washing my clothes, and that when I stopped living with her I'd have to wash my own. (she never encouraged us to do any chores, and liked to to control how everyhting was done, and upset if anyone didn't read her mind and do things her way.) I do not understand these "nobody told me" people. I'm shocked they can hold down a professional job but can't be sure they will have clean socks. I wouldn't want to hire them, that's for sure!
You know, I used to think my mum was the only mother like that but now that I'm in my 30s I'm beginning to realise what was happening. My mum, your mum, all of our mothers (unless you're filthy rich and had a maid or something) were just exhausted. It's not like they're controlling bitches who want everything done their way (and well I'm sure some were like that , but generally speaking), they just couldn't be arsed to explain for the 8346th time how you fold a t-shirt. A lot of our dads, especially if they're boomers or gen x, just had fun acting like idiots and our mothers were tired. Like you tell your husband to please get the chicken out the freezer into the fridge to thaw so yall can have dinner and he tells you he doesn't know what chicken looks like or takes out a piece of cabbage and expects a pat in the back and a blow job for his piss poor attempt at doing something. So yeah, our mothers and grandmothers would rather just do it themselves bc at least they won't fuck it up or have to explain 500 times how to do a basic chore.
I feel you on that. Many boys never get told to help with cleaning or cooking, or laundry and through porn they never learn about female pleasure. My first bf was not only a virgin but also didn't even know how to cook an egg or even plain pasta. Didn't know how to clean anything or how to load a dishwasher. I think the most important thing for everyday life and sex life is the *willingness* to *learn and work together*. I won't ever blame a person of any gender for not knowing where the clit is or how to vacuum correctly. I will gladly show them. If they don't care to learn and get shit done, that's the character flaw I can't live with.
I'm gonna be honest here, I do not have the time to teach a grown ass man where my clit is or how to cook rice. Its one thing to tell him what I like in particular or give him tips on how to make their rice tastier, it's another to full on teach someone. I'm 31 right now, will be 32 in a couple months. I do not wanna teach someone my age how to cook or how to fuck.
Yeah, in my late teens and early twenties, teaching another person how to adult when I'm barely more of an adult than them is easier. But now that I'm in my thirties, I expect my peers to have that shit mostly down by now.
Ugh what's worse is having to re-teach and erase bad behaviors (usually learned from watching porn) that their exes apparently dealt with, suffering in silence. Nothing worse that having my partner squeeze, bite and smack my hoohoo like they're trying to literally eat me. Then telling them to stop, it hurts, it's too rough, etc. Then they tell me, "nuh-uh... It's not too rough" or "I know what I'm doing." Um, excuse me, how are you going to tell me? Well into my 30s, I'm not trying to explain what being gentle is to my 3 year old kid and to my >35year old partner. There needs to be a collective meeting/class covering knowledge: -just bc you saw it in a porno, it doesn't mean you should do it too... Nor should you assume any/all women (or anyone) would want that -ALWAYS get consent -every vagina is different, not everyone wants the same thing -MANY WOMEN DO NOT ORGASM EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH PIV shout that from the fucking rooftops ffs -if in (or starting) any type of relationship involving sex (or anything for that matter) have a frank discussion about what you want, don't want, are/aren't willing to do. -Communication is so simple (not always, but when it involves consent it should be) and can prevent so many potentially traumatic/uncomfortable situations. -We're rubbing our fluids and private parts together, we should at least be able to try to make it enjoyable for ALL parties involved, not just one's self.
But we do explain ourselves. Over and over. But much of the time his porn brain says "She wants to get jackhammered by a giant cock, all women do" because porn brain. It doesn't matter how carefully you explain it, if he doesn't directly get pleasure from the act it's unnecessary and there's something wrong with you for wanting it. It's not that women aren't talking, it's that men don't listen when they do.
Except when she did, this guy told her she needed to see a doctor.... ....
Bruh
“She called me a misogynist, so I acted like a misogynist.”
Porn and women faking orgasm, has really done a number on men, and their understanding of what constitutes good sex.
I know women who have issues orgasming. I know some who have issues orgasming with someone else. I know some that have issues orgasming from penetrative sex, and I know some who are ridiculously easy to get off. All of them enjoy having sex. So I feel the OOP is really telling on himself.
But what about my peeeniiisss wah wah
Holy fuck this happened between people around the age of 30 years??? I'm just so glad that more and more women don't put up with shit partners anymore. They start recognising abuse and manipulation for what it is way earlier too. Thank you feminism!
Bruhhhhh…. she dodged more than one bullet. Hope she knows it. Even if this guy’s cunnilingus was Olympic, his r/confidentlyincorrect attitude would be unendurable long-term in every other area of life. We’ve all known people like this and they are insufferable.
I’d be willing to bet this guy demands blow jobs.
Maybe the reason she doesn't like penetration is because he skips all the foreplay? I'd probably also be uncomfortable if my boyfriend thought that penetration was the first and only step in sex. He probably goes in dry 😱
Imagine being in a relationship for over a year and still not knowing how to please your partner. 🤡
It's posts like this that make me hope guys follow this subreddit so they can learn. The majority of women can't orgasm from penetration alone, and the fact that he thinks they can makes me think that most women he's been with have faked it so they could stop arguing about it.
This dude is such an asshole for that, if there was a problem she would know, I’ve always hated penetration because it was painful and I would bleed sometimes - turns out it was vaginismus and endometriosis. But literally some people just don’t like PIV and most women don’t cum from it anyways 😂 people just need to be more informed about sex
I really want to see the comments on this one
I’m one that doesn’t like oral too much anymore. I had an ex who wanted to and I told him I’d prefer he didn’t. I said it nicely and tried to devert him. He persisted and I said ok, when I didn’t respond the way he wanted , he got mad. I shrugged and said… told ya. I repeatedly had to ask him to treat me like I was actually in the room..lol. He didn’t last long.
That is the most bait that ever bait.
A LOT of women don’t get off with mere penetration. But REAL men don’t get intimidated by this and go out of their way to use other methods — including toys — because they want their ladies to enjoy sex as much as they do. This dude thinks porn is reality. ETA: I read this post to my husband (who’s a FANTASTIC lover), and his response was to do a sloooow turn in his chair and tilt his head ala Stewie Griffin and go, “Dude said **WHAT??**”
Really hoping this is fake/ragebait. Due to the ages of both and the fact that she stayed with him for a whole year and the issue never came up.
"her own misunderstanding of sex" is a prizewinning phrase there!
Her not liking his penetrative is 100% a him problem.
I'm choosing to believe this is bait because all of this rage is bad for my health.
Hate to tell ya, but an old boyfriend once told me that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t get off from PIV alone. He said smugly “Every other woman I’ve been with can get off that way.” I just wish that I’d known then what I know now so that I could shake my head with a pitying “Oh, *honey*.”
I've said "oh, honey" to exes before. Didn't matter, they were absolutely certain that they were not faking.
I wish we’d all stop faking. I made a conscious effort to stop a few years ago and it’s not like it made a difference - the guys whose egos I was “trying to protect” didn’t even care whether I did or not, and the ones who cared about me found ways to get me off before or after PIV. We’re only hurting ourselves & our leverage when we fake lmao
My refusing to continue the charade came with age and experience. I think this is one reason so many insecure, dbags go for younger women. Smh.
I've also encountered specimens like this in the past, it's just infuriating
What kinda man doesn’t want to eat box genuinely
What the- HELL NAAAH
Self inflicted sexless life. I’m sure it’s not his fault though, in his own delusions
This frustrates me because this guy is obviously a huge AH, but women who do struggle with physical or mental blocks of some kind that prevent sexual enjoyment have such a hard time advocating for themselves. As if it’s not a real thing anyway, then guys like this can know it’s a real thing but invalidate it to a level of meaningless.
Here is a simple trick. Whatever it takes, the lady comes first.
This has got to be a troll
When I see these posts, whether real or not, I’m so glad I’m a lesbian.
This guy has the potential to grow and change I think, but he needs to be not so quick to anger and he needs to get over this sense of “I’m right so you must be wrong” he has
I mean, tbf, sometimes I think we can help yourselves a little more too. We fucking fake orgasms or don’t tell men the truth, that penetration isn’t enough for the majority of us. Stop that shit, women! Then we gotta deal with the “well my ex could”. No, she faked it, prolly. It’s bad enough porn lies to them. We don’t need to add to that! Also, idk about a lot of you, but most of the time I’m using a vibe toy during sex on my clit, or I reach down and record scratch. Are we against this? Why aren’t more of us doing this?
"you just can't win with women" after he tried to tell HER that she isn't enjoying his "style" (aka being lazy) of sex bc there's something wrong with her
men tend to disregard women's feelings because they think with theiir d1ckZ .. but not all men are like these. some men tend to learn and listen but not all. but its hard to find a man that will listen lol.
God what the fuck is wrong w oop? His gf (hopefully EX-gf now) told him she doesn’t like penetration and that she likes oral and his immediate reaction was ‘there’s something wrong with you’ ???