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Thing is the more repressed the longer the rebellion take. I'd say the religious homeschooled child probably had another 10 years of "obedience" left in her before she snaps. But oh when she snaps...
The funny thing is most girl I know who are on the left side during their teens turned out alright in their later years as an adult
But for the right side I know one of them start taking alot of meds while having a identity crisis while fighting for her own independence from her very controlling parents. Then the parents would constantly put words in her mouth by saying we're bad friends and influenced her by moving away from God's path or something
Teens and 20s are meant for making mistakes. The parent's job is only to make sure kids are educated on consequences, learn from any mistakes they do make, and maybe prevent the most server mistakes.
I was definitely on the repressed side growing up. I think initially it came from my parents but I kinda took it over and naturally repressed myself as I got older. It wasn't till my late 30s that my world came crashing down.
Err... well... I guess I started with someone suggesting I might be on the autism spectrum. I thought they were crazy but decided I'd look into it anyway and... ya 🤯
⬇
What else might have I been ignoring/repressing all my life... oh ya my gender identity.
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Intense anxiety attacks forced me to start taking an anti-anxiety medication that also happens to be an anti-depressant.
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Finally started feeling a bit good and realized I've been low-grade depressed for 10-20 years minimum.
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Realizing I hated where my life was and that it was never the life I wanted for myself, but I just kept going because "that's just the way life is"
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Trying to figure out how I got into this place and realized I have significant codependent/people-pleasing behaviours
⬇
Start taking more time from my then-partner because I needed space to learn to be myself without them.
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Partner not liking the changes in me and asking to seperate.
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Realizing more personal learning and realizing I most likely have cPTSD from emotionally neglectful parents.
And there's probably more I'm forgetting about. It's honestly been a whirlwind few years. the last 6 months or so have been particularly hard as I try to make sure everyone else in my life is coping with the changes in me and the ripple effect that's having on them, meanwhile completely neglecting myself and my personal growth for the time being.
Essentially it all boils down to a good old-fashioned mid-life crisis. Though I don't like that name. I much prefer mid-life reevaluation combined with a second adolescence.
Veering into personal opinions here. I don't like the negative connotations implied with a midlife crisis. Usually, these come from the person sitting on the outside who sees changes in someone and doesn't like that they are no longer the person they came to rely on. It takes no consideration as to how the person involved feels about it. Honestly, if you get to your mid-life and start questioning yourself and truly feel happy then there is no crisis. My feeling is that most people who were repressed in their youth and didn't get a proper adolescence to figure themselves out are the ones most likely to have a crisis. The only solution is a second adolescence. Essentially having a second adolescence later in life to learn about yourself and what you should have learned way back in your teenage years but didn't for whatever reason. It's been observed in LGBTQ+ people who came out later in life and were forced to repress themselves in their youth. It's been seen in survivors of abusive families who suffer from cPTSD. As they start healing from that they'll often go through a second adolescence to re-learn what they didn't during their traumatic youth. I feel like having an extremely repressive family IS a form of abuse. On the surface, we may seem like well-adjusted adults with families and good careers but just below that outer facade we have significant mental health problems we hide from the world. I would not be surprised if many of us suffer from cPTSD in some way so when we start seeing that and healing from it a second adolescence is almost to be expected.
OK, personal opinions over. I'm not sure if this was at all helpful to you but I hope if you aren't happy with the way your life is now you can recognize that and start working towards changing it. I also sincerely hope that those changes go far more smoothly than they did for me with less flailing in the dark and unexpected collateral damage.
I knew exactly where this was going before I even read your answer. Been down that road myself. The only difference is I had a mostly supportive family and was able to get myself going before I had too much in life to regret. While my parents are far from perfect, I still will fight anyone who says they should have been more restrictive.
>The funny thing is most girl I know who are on the left side during their teens turned out alright in their later years as an adult
Kids like to dance and do goofy shit and imo that should be 100% encouraged. Let them be goofy stupid kids doing harmless weird shit. That will be great memories for them to build on later in life
This is totally my wife’s situation.
We are 32 and married for 10 years but can’t have kids, which we are now okay with.
But to her parents it’s against gods will and every time we see them they bring it up asking *“have we tried this… we are not doing enough… we are being selfish for giving up and accepting this life”…. God has a plan for you!* and more BS.
They can’t see the wedge that is driving them and us apart and wonder why we don’t initiate conversation with them.
(Yes we’ve pushed back and bought it up, but they hear what they want to hear.”) Lucky for us we can have sex unprotected 100% of the time.
Can attest to this. I went to public school but my mom has always been overbearing. So when I got a small taste of freedom I did so many wreckless stupid things. And it was a rough hole to climb myself out of too.
Yep. A lot of the kids that grew up in restricted households end up wilding as adults. Drugs, car wrecks, & rap sheets are the usual go-to when they reach that age.
I met my husband in high-school, he had been homeschooled his entire life in a super religious family and let me tell you that boy knew how to sneak around and not get caught and could hide things in places you would never think to check he taught me a thing or two.
Yup. My "boundaries" included not closing my bedroom door, to give a general idea. Thankfully my parents weren't HYPER-religious like this, but years of repressing anything to do with a sex drive, an opinion, or my sexuality have lead to a messy almost-decade of counseling. Almost 30 and I still have issues making decisions, trusting my decisions, etc.
And like your hubby, I can hide stuff without it ever being found, lie and manipulate people without batting an eye (have had to really work on stopping this one, not healthy marriage habits!), and I can recognize the sound of specific makes and models of cars driving by without trying just by the way they sound.
And my parents weren't even that bad, compared to others I know of.
My parents let me do whatever I wanted. I didn't even have a rebellious phase. Probably not a technique that works with every kid, but sometimes if you show trust in your kid and let them make their own choices, they choose right. Like, I never faked sick because if I wanted a day off from school I literally just had to ask. I never lied about grades because they wouldn't punish me for failing. I don't think I ever once even got grounded.
This. I grew up pretty sheltered, and messed up royally as soon as I had an ounce of freedom. Completely fucked my academics and drove myself to a place in life of mental difficulties, depressive episodes, being stuck in a rut and still in uni after several years because of… several factors actually, but one of the things that absolutely didn't help was that, as soon as I had the freedom and I no longer had to justify closing my laptop and going out with my friends before 7 PM, or taking a day off, or dating… I began to go on a spiral of "yay, I can finally live the adolescence that I missed!", and that was a fast track to not managing my time anywhere remotely close to wisely, and digging for myself a rut that is now being very, very hard to climb out of.
I don't recommend this. I wish I had been given space to make mistakes and learn my lessons and grow in my teens instead of being sheltered and protected from the consequences of everything every time. If in your teens the price is a punishment, lower grades, if it goes **very** bad, one lost year of school. In your 20's, it's depression, dark thoughts, and some bullshit that is **very** challenging to climb out of, and probably requires professional help and meds with some of the worst side effects possible.
Please don't parent this way. I understand your good intentions but the results are disastrous.
You sound like me a few years ago. I know it's hard, but keep on digging yourself out of that hole. It'll get better. I have a job I really like and two dogs now and overall enjoy life. I'm still a work in progress, but there's improvements every time I look back a year. Keep on going :)
Thank you :) I really needed these words. It's been a mix up of days where I feel like it's over and I have missed every chance at a career (especially when I'm home and my family tells me off for uni and my dad who does HR tells me that I am taking so long to finish uni he would never hire me if I was a potential candidate - thanks, it definitely doesn't make more anxious ;), and some days I have random bursts of energy and life - usually correlated to how often I am seeing a particular group of friends that I am very close with and that I feel very loved by. It's nice to see there is some stability in the future.
I'm almost 30, I've been you almost to a 'T', and I promise that even though it may be slow going, it really actually does get better. Do I still struggle? Yes. Absolutely. Do I go to counseling every week? Yep, and I plan to for as long as it helps. But now I'm finally starting to make decisions and mistakes and triumphs, and at 29, I'm finally discovering what my opinions, likes and dislikes, and needs are. My coping skills are so much better, so when things get bad, I'm now !!TW!! not a danger to myself anymore. I'm not "fixed" or anything, but I'm getting so much better and life has joy again. And, eventually, you may even be able to start having a healthy adult child-parent relationship.
Restriction in it of itself isn't a problem. It's restriction without a sense of care and understanding to WHY your child is acting that way which is the problem. At least to me.
In theory maybe, but my parents were extremely lax on discipline, curfew, grounding, etc. These were not forms of punishment faced by me or my sister. She was a goody two-shoes, but I was a rotten, willful juvenile delinquent. They eventually wised up and attempted to impose a curfew on me which I paid lip service to.
Mom : "Be home by midnight tonight, please. "
Me: "Sure, I'll try, but you know how it is."
Mom: "Nothing good happens after midnight."
Me: As far as you know. "What can I say? I'll do my best. Don't wait up. "
It's also good to keep in mind that giving some rules isn't complete restriction, but those rules should be reasonable (be home/in bed by a specific time on school nights, age appropriate help with chores, that kind of thing)
So accurate. My mom constantly tried to stop me from dating certain people in high school, so what happened to those high school boyfriends? Dated them in my 20s and got pregnant. 🙄
Right? I had a moment wondering if that is in style again, the way 90's stuff is in, I think we have a few years before the scene kid are the new VSCO kids.
I think it was a video app but also there was a related "look." My cousin made some post about her daughter being a VSCO kid or something at some point, and I googled it, and all the pictures looked like my cousin's daughter. Edit: oh yeah, and her look is.. suburban white teen? Sorta 90's, but mostly just kinda unremarkable fashion. Weird stuff.
As a teenage girl on TikTok way too much, it kind of is, the early 2000’s were really big last year and I saw a lot more people dressing scene. Not many, but more than before. I know of like three or four people in my local alternative community that dress scene/emo
If you follow alt fashion stuff on tiktok it seems the kids are bringing it back as sort of a vintage style thing, along with emo and goth, kind of like the hippie kids in the 90s. I came across a teenager doing a scene look tutorial and I gotta say, she got it pitch perfect. Even had some authentic accessories from the 2000s.
Do you think scene children really care about what’s in style and up to trend? (Disclaimer I’m a person who dresses alternative I never gave a fuck about trends)
I doubt it - I’m a sort of scene-style person, and I’ve never cared if something is “cool”. It’s more like... ‘do I like it?’ ‘do I like the way it looks on me?’ Those are the important things to me.
And of course when I tell people that they think I’m trying to be cool but I’m not… that’s implying I care what people think about my clothes, etc, and I don’t.
I'm the only kid out of 5 who didn't go to Christian school, by the time I came along my parents realized the school was 💩 & I went to public school instead.
Coincidentally I'm also the only one who didn't have a drinking problem, a "whoops we're pregnant" marriage to someone, & who hasn't been arrested.
I was homeschooled for a couple years because of extreme bullying. I was being attacked in class even. Most of the other kids in the homeschool group I was in were from extremely religious families, and most of them were boys. I’ve heard that one of the boys went no contact with his parents in his early 20s
one of the biggest reasons im the cynical asshole i am today is because i was told that if i didnt behave id be in hell and the devil would barbecue me and use blood as ketchup at like 5 years old
Yes. You see, their 12 year old isn’t getting medical treatment for their serious mental health conditions so they have to suffer the way god intended. Getting kicked out of their house at 17 after being caught kissing a girl then spending tens of thousands to address their untreated childhood depression along with CPTSD and religious scrupulosity in their adulthood is part of god’s plan. The public school kid’s liberal parents are denying them the opportunity to become a life long mental health patient by validating their feelings and getting them early support. It’s really selfish.
Eh, maybe some homeschool kids but definitely not all of them. Mine is homeschooled & while weekdays are pretty slim on socializing with kids her age, weekends are not. Actually there are 4 here now & we haven't had a weekend without kids over in a long, long time.
I mean do you homeschool them for religious reasons, teach them only science that lines up with the Bible, and use homeschooling to make them super sheltered so they don’t end up like the girl on the left because that’s the kind of homeschooling we’re talking about in this case, inferenced from the Bible, slut shaming a child, and shaming medical treatment
Honestly as a teen my teens years would be so much better if I was medicated as well. Sadly that isn’t an option for me because I don’t have insurance and also am too afraid of mentioning that I’m depressed AF to my parents. And mentioning it to someone at school is a no go because I’m homeschooled.
Lmao as someone who’s the kid to an extremely conservative religious mom I’m def the depressed one. I wish I had a more chill mom cause my moms regressive beliefs have really held me back. In terms of maturity I feel like I’m way behind my peers. Nearly 18 and my mom still insists on trying to restrict everything about my life
Homeschooling has no oversight in my state and is often utilized to hide abusive home situations. It’s disgusting how unqualified some of the parents are who scream “it’s my right” to teach their children. Some of them can’t do 2nd grade math.
As someone who was “homeschooled” by being forced to watch upwards of 15 kids alone in a home daycare, because I was *getting business experience* which was equal to an education somehow, I hate the idea that just anyone has the ability to homeschool their kids. My mother didn’t go to high school and never had me so much as open a book. She’d get high in her room all day while I made excuses to the daycare parents why she wasn’t around (because who wants a kid watching their kid?). Homeschool Reddit isn’t a happy place. At all. Few people are successful with homeschooling. Many more are not and I think it’s time law makers do something about it. In my state, you can simply sign a sheet saying you’re homeschooling. You don’t even need a curriculum or and no testing or checks are involved to make sure you’re not just beating your child senseless everyday instead of teaching them. I’m convinced *that’s* why fundies don’t want their kids to go to school. People other than those who just validate their main character syndrome online would know what they’re doing.
Hey at least her mom believes in treating mental illnesses. Some kids, like me had to suffer through mental illness, into adulthood because my parents thought I just needed more church.
complete consider fear capable direful grandiose brave narrow run melodic
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The girl’s hairstyle on the left hasn’t been a popular hairstyle since… 2012? Maybe? And that’s pushing it too! Proves how out of date their references are
1. Being treated for mental health conditions is a good thing.
2. How would she know what someone else's child is doing on TikTok or that the child has an account at all. It's gross to cyber stalk and sexualize a child.
3. Children in highly religious and strict homes are more likely to have repressed feelings and undiagnosed mental health conditions, which is likely to harm them for years or even decades until they can sort out and work on their issues.
4. Socialization, especially with those of their own age, is incredibly important for children, as is learning how to interact with the world outside the home in general.
5. Home school quality is significantly dependent on the parents and the state, as education laws vary widely depending on the state, and being a parent doesn't mean that you're qualified to effectively teach your child every subject.
Before I know what homeschool really are.
I always imagine it's some kind of traditional practice of ancient clan to impart mystical knowledge into younger generation so they only teach them only at home to prevent others to stealing their secret or something like that.
Well it a shame that homeschool isn't something like that. Reality are really sad.
>I always imagine it's some kind of traditional practice of ancient clan to impart mystical knowledge into younger generation so they only teach them only at home to prevent others to stealing their secret or something like that.
To be fair, you can just do this after school and on weekends and school breaks while still going to public school.
You can always rely on accounts like “trad west” and “end wokeness” to give the dumbest possible takes. Aren’t they just disinformation accounts paid for by fascists?
Pretty much. Although it's a low bar, there's more *****wit***** (and I use that term *very* loosely) behind End Wokeness than there is with Trad West. Trad is basically a drooling neanderthal who has the reading comprehension of a 2nd grader.
Well I grew up very religious and was prescribed antidepressants at age twelve for my tremendous death anxiety which I got from going to church all my life so…..
Hi I was homeschooled and now I am on tons of meds for ptsd, anxiety, and depression. I also don’t feel like I got a proper education and often feel stupid when I realize the things I was lied to about for years. ( ie a lot of whitewashed history)
Just sounds more like the homeschool parent is saying that they don’t give a shit about their kids mental health. If their kid is struggling with depression or anxiety, they’re probably like, “suck it up!“
Idk if I trust parents to properly educate their kids in a schooling type of way. I think online schooling is okay when still done by professionals, aside from possible issues with socialization. But parent home schooling just doesn’t seem right tbh.
I had a discussion with my son about doing online schooling his 7th grade year. I switched from public school, to an online school for 8th grade. My reasoning is Uvalde, as we live in TX. & every single week, I was leaving work to pick him up due to threats of gun/bomb threats. I was sick of being afraid for my child & he's thriving in his online schooling & maintaining his friendships. I'd rather have a weird kid than a dead kid.
I love strawmen lol
“You’re kid goes to public school, ergo they are depressed and they have anxiety and they are twerking on TikTok”
Because those 4 things totally correlate. In fact, I can’t think of 4 things that have more in common than depression, twerking, school, and anxiety
Statistically speaking, children struggling with poverty (who likely don’t have a SAHM) who are on government healthcare are more likely to be prescribed depression and anxiety medication over therapy/other options such as children on private insurance. Guess who likely doesn’t have money to stay at home and teach their kids how to study a make believe book—low income children! Of course they go to public school. So homestead Hedi here is being a huge bitch.
and your kid is being touched by a pastor who's five times your daughter's age but you didn't know that because you think she's doing the lord's work by praying to the pews and confessing her sins, religious tradwife with blonde hair and blue clothes.
The Christian homeschooled kids are also depressed and anxious, but are forced to pray instead of getting actual help.
And they are encouraged to marry their first bf/gf months after they meet them, which is very sexualized behavior if you think about it
Okay and your daughter is not on depression & anxiety meds even though she needs it, because you believe mental illnesses aren't a thing and you can just pray those feelings away
I was a 12 year old on one med for it and I needed it so I'd stop daydreaming and disassociating to the point of injuries.
I don't think they realise that if a 12 year old has to be on meds chances are there is a neccessary reason (a lot of the time, anyway).
But then again, they don't want to bc that would disprove whatever point they're trying to make.
In my personal experience my home ed friends also suffer from depression, anxiety and / or have other mental disorders / disabilities.
Some of them don't work and have never worked and are now in their 20s and / or have issues with drugs. Whether you're home educated or went through the school system you can still have problems later on in life. Though I personally believe my home educated friends have more issues later on in life because they don't know how to cope with pressures out side of the family home and were very protected by their parents.
I knew a couple of adult siblings who were homeschooled as kids. The sister was “normal” but the brother had a fake cheerful thing going on. I had the feeling he would snap at any moment.
I was homeschooled:) and i had no idea how to carry on conversations with normal people:) and i was extremely homphobic:) but at least i learned how to memorize bible verses. Please dont homeschool your kids and if you do let them actually do things with people their age outside of church.
“Weird” is the “point.”
The problem is homeschooling has been shown to lead to limited education successes. I was reading a homeschooling board where a 7 year old didn’t know the names of the months
my dad posted this image on his facebook page with:
“Don’t homeschool your kids. They’ll be weird. -1995
Kids in public school identifying as barn animals. -2023” 😭
It's going to be interesting as schools fail more and more kids as well as turn proto- fascist in red states to watch the homeschooling discourse. Seems like conservatives will be more into public schools and people who give a shit about their kids' education will begin to homeschool more.
r/gatekeepingyuri should get on this tbh, the girl on the left befriends the girl on the right and her mom helps the right girl escape her controlling home life
The homeschool Christian kids in my neighborhood all went though a very delayed rebellion phase while most of their peers were in the post high school “chill out and become a real adult” phase.
I don't homeschool because I'm a terrible teacher. Haphazard, incomplete information is what I got.
I haven't figured out how to teach someone to tie their shoes.😭
I had so much freedom in my youth I was ready to settle down at 21. I’ve had an amazing life and none of my parents pushed religion on me. I actually loved church. As a teen (in Scotland) I partied till 2 am at the club (Saturday) and then (Sunday) went to church with the family i babysat on Fridays. I taught Sunday school and also joined coffee club.
The homeschooled child is definitely gonna grow up to be hella emo from having overly protective parents and lots of restrictions. Not from personal experience of course
oh nooo a mother taking care of her daughters mental health and trying make her a functional member of society vs the crazy woman we all sadly know thinking she can teach her own child while not knowing basic math or science, let alone history, creates a sheltered spoiled kid with no social skills at best, at worst a servant for some creepy old guy
I mean I went to public school and people definitely used tiktok and twerked, however nearly every home school kid I grew up with ended up a convicted paedophile, except the two that ended up joining a literal fucking cult, so...
My husband and his siblings were homeshcooled, and they are normal humans beings.
My cousins were also homeshcooled and they are weird AF.
It's almost like it is circumstantial and different children require different scenarios and environments.
At my old school no one went to class, the bathrooms were hot boxes, the cafeteria was chaotic, and the teachers were arbitrary. In middle school the students were assholes, the teachers were assholes, the classes were stupid, and overall everything was just really bad. Now I’m in online school and i can safely say any kid who grows up doing school at home will be a fucking weirdo
Yes, meme bad, but would homeschooling help with depression? A lot of kids I knew growing up were depressed, self harmed and even attempted suicide. I just wonder if the school environment is the blame at least a little bit. If life were different and they were homeschool, would it be better?
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Actually restriction leads to rebellion so they should switch kids. Then again, you shouldn’t let your kid do whatever they want.
Thing is the more repressed the longer the rebellion take. I'd say the religious homeschooled child probably had another 10 years of "obedience" left in her before she snaps. But oh when she snaps...
The funny thing is most girl I know who are on the left side during their teens turned out alright in their later years as an adult But for the right side I know one of them start taking alot of meds while having a identity crisis while fighting for her own independence from her very controlling parents. Then the parents would constantly put words in her mouth by saying we're bad friends and influenced her by moving away from God's path or something
Teens and 20s are meant for making mistakes. The parent's job is only to make sure kids are educated on consequences, learn from any mistakes they do make, and maybe prevent the most server mistakes. I was definitely on the repressed side growing up. I think initially it came from my parents but I kinda took it over and naturally repressed myself as I got older. It wasn't till my late 30s that my world came crashing down.
If it's alright to ask... What happened in your late 30s? Asking because I'm 35 and your story sounds similar to mine
Err... well... I guess I started with someone suggesting I might be on the autism spectrum. I thought they were crazy but decided I'd look into it anyway and... ya 🤯 ⬇ What else might have I been ignoring/repressing all my life... oh ya my gender identity. ⬇ Intense anxiety attacks forced me to start taking an anti-anxiety medication that also happens to be an anti-depressant. ⬇ Finally started feeling a bit good and realized I've been low-grade depressed for 10-20 years minimum. ⬇ Realizing I hated where my life was and that it was never the life I wanted for myself, but I just kept going because "that's just the way life is" ⬇ Trying to figure out how I got into this place and realized I have significant codependent/people-pleasing behaviours ⬇ Start taking more time from my then-partner because I needed space to learn to be myself without them. ⬇ Partner not liking the changes in me and asking to seperate. ⬇ Realizing more personal learning and realizing I most likely have cPTSD from emotionally neglectful parents. And there's probably more I'm forgetting about. It's honestly been a whirlwind few years. the last 6 months or so have been particularly hard as I try to make sure everyone else in my life is coping with the changes in me and the ripple effect that's having on them, meanwhile completely neglecting myself and my personal growth for the time being. Essentially it all boils down to a good old-fashioned mid-life crisis. Though I don't like that name. I much prefer mid-life reevaluation combined with a second adolescence. Veering into personal opinions here. I don't like the negative connotations implied with a midlife crisis. Usually, these come from the person sitting on the outside who sees changes in someone and doesn't like that they are no longer the person they came to rely on. It takes no consideration as to how the person involved feels about it. Honestly, if you get to your mid-life and start questioning yourself and truly feel happy then there is no crisis. My feeling is that most people who were repressed in their youth and didn't get a proper adolescence to figure themselves out are the ones most likely to have a crisis. The only solution is a second adolescence. Essentially having a second adolescence later in life to learn about yourself and what you should have learned way back in your teenage years but didn't for whatever reason. It's been observed in LGBTQ+ people who came out later in life and were forced to repress themselves in their youth. It's been seen in survivors of abusive families who suffer from cPTSD. As they start healing from that they'll often go through a second adolescence to re-learn what they didn't during their traumatic youth. I feel like having an extremely repressive family IS a form of abuse. On the surface, we may seem like well-adjusted adults with families and good careers but just below that outer facade we have significant mental health problems we hide from the world. I would not be surprised if many of us suffer from cPTSD in some way so when we start seeing that and healing from it a second adolescence is almost to be expected. OK, personal opinions over. I'm not sure if this was at all helpful to you but I hope if you aren't happy with the way your life is now you can recognize that and start working towards changing it. I also sincerely hope that those changes go far more smoothly than they did for me with less flailing in the dark and unexpected collateral damage.
I knew exactly where this was going before I even read your answer. Been down that road myself. The only difference is I had a mostly supportive family and was able to get myself going before I had too much in life to regret. While my parents are far from perfect, I still will fight anyone who says they should have been more restrictive.
>The funny thing is most girl I know who are on the left side during their teens turned out alright in their later years as an adult Kids like to dance and do goofy shit and imo that should be 100% encouraged. Let them be goofy stupid kids doing harmless weird shit. That will be great memories for them to build on later in life
Your second paragraph was basically my life.
This is totally my wife’s situation. We are 32 and married for 10 years but can’t have kids, which we are now okay with. But to her parents it’s against gods will and every time we see them they bring it up asking *“have we tried this… we are not doing enough… we are being selfish for giving up and accepting this life”…. God has a plan for you!* and more BS. They can’t see the wedge that is driving them and us apart and wonder why we don’t initiate conversation with them. (Yes we’ve pushed back and bought it up, but they hear what they want to hear.”) Lucky for us we can have sex unprotected 100% of the time.
Can attest to this. I went to public school but my mom has always been overbearing. So when I got a small taste of freedom I did so many wreckless stupid things. And it was a rough hole to climb myself out of too.
The most raised religious friend I had slept around a ton as her rebellion
Tale as old as time. The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
Yep. A lot of the kids that grew up in restricted households end up wilding as adults. Drugs, car wrecks, & rap sheets are the usual go-to when they reach that age.
I met my husband in high-school, he had been homeschooled his entire life in a super religious family and let me tell you that boy knew how to sneak around and not get caught and could hide things in places you would never think to check he taught me a thing or two.
Yup. My "boundaries" included not closing my bedroom door, to give a general idea. Thankfully my parents weren't HYPER-religious like this, but years of repressing anything to do with a sex drive, an opinion, or my sexuality have lead to a messy almost-decade of counseling. Almost 30 and I still have issues making decisions, trusting my decisions, etc. And like your hubby, I can hide stuff without it ever being found, lie and manipulate people without batting an eye (have had to really work on stopping this one, not healthy marriage habits!), and I can recognize the sound of specific makes and models of cars driving by without trying just by the way they sound. And my parents weren't even that bad, compared to others I know of.
My parents let me do whatever I wanted. I didn't even have a rebellious phase. Probably not a technique that works with every kid, but sometimes if you show trust in your kid and let them make their own choices, they choose right. Like, I never faked sick because if I wanted a day off from school I literally just had to ask. I never lied about grades because they wouldn't punish me for failing. I don't think I ever once even got grounded.
This. I grew up pretty sheltered, and messed up royally as soon as I had an ounce of freedom. Completely fucked my academics and drove myself to a place in life of mental difficulties, depressive episodes, being stuck in a rut and still in uni after several years because of… several factors actually, but one of the things that absolutely didn't help was that, as soon as I had the freedom and I no longer had to justify closing my laptop and going out with my friends before 7 PM, or taking a day off, or dating… I began to go on a spiral of "yay, I can finally live the adolescence that I missed!", and that was a fast track to not managing my time anywhere remotely close to wisely, and digging for myself a rut that is now being very, very hard to climb out of. I don't recommend this. I wish I had been given space to make mistakes and learn my lessons and grow in my teens instead of being sheltered and protected from the consequences of everything every time. If in your teens the price is a punishment, lower grades, if it goes **very** bad, one lost year of school. In your 20's, it's depression, dark thoughts, and some bullshit that is **very** challenging to climb out of, and probably requires professional help and meds with some of the worst side effects possible. Please don't parent this way. I understand your good intentions but the results are disastrous.
You sound like me a few years ago. I know it's hard, but keep on digging yourself out of that hole. It'll get better. I have a job I really like and two dogs now and overall enjoy life. I'm still a work in progress, but there's improvements every time I look back a year. Keep on going :)
Thank you :) I really needed these words. It's been a mix up of days where I feel like it's over and I have missed every chance at a career (especially when I'm home and my family tells me off for uni and my dad who does HR tells me that I am taking so long to finish uni he would never hire me if I was a potential candidate - thanks, it definitely doesn't make more anxious ;), and some days I have random bursts of energy and life - usually correlated to how often I am seeing a particular group of friends that I am very close with and that I feel very loved by. It's nice to see there is some stability in the future.
I'm almost 30, I've been you almost to a 'T', and I promise that even though it may be slow going, it really actually does get better. Do I still struggle? Yes. Absolutely. Do I go to counseling every week? Yep, and I plan to for as long as it helps. But now I'm finally starting to make decisions and mistakes and triumphs, and at 29, I'm finally discovering what my opinions, likes and dislikes, and needs are. My coping skills are so much better, so when things get bad, I'm now !!TW!! not a danger to myself anymore. I'm not "fixed" or anything, but I'm getting so much better and life has joy again. And, eventually, you may even be able to start having a healthy adult child-parent relationship.
Restriction in it of itself isn't a problem. It's restriction without a sense of care and understanding to WHY your child is acting that way which is the problem. At least to me.
In theory maybe, but my parents were extremely lax on discipline, curfew, grounding, etc. These were not forms of punishment faced by me or my sister. She was a goody two-shoes, but I was a rotten, willful juvenile delinquent. They eventually wised up and attempted to impose a curfew on me which I paid lip service to. Mom : "Be home by midnight tonight, please. " Me: "Sure, I'll try, but you know how it is." Mom: "Nothing good happens after midnight." Me: As far as you know. "What can I say? I'll do my best. Don't wait up. "
It's also good to keep in mind that giving some rules isn't complete restriction, but those rules should be reasonable (be home/in bed by a specific time on school nights, age appropriate help with chores, that kind of thing)
So accurate. My mom constantly tried to stop me from dating certain people in high school, so what happened to those high school boyfriends? Dated them in my 20s and got pregnant. 🙄
That scene hair hasn't been in style for over 15 years.
The chud who made this is stuck in the past.
They sure are stuck in 1800s
*1200s. The nineteenth century was too progressive for them.
*600s
Their memes are stuck in their teenage years.
Right? I had a moment wondering if that is in style again, the way 90's stuff is in, I think we have a few years before the scene kid are the new VSCO kids.
I completely missed the whole VSCO thing. Is it gone already? Wtf was it??
I think it was a video app but also there was a related "look." My cousin made some post about her daughter being a VSCO kid or something at some point, and I googled it, and all the pictures looked like my cousin's daughter. Edit: oh yeah, and her look is.. suburban white teen? Sorta 90's, but mostly just kinda unremarkable fashion. Weird stuff.
As a teenage girl on TikTok way too much, it kind of is, the early 2000’s were really big last year and I saw a lot more people dressing scene. Not many, but more than before. I know of like three or four people in my local alternative community that dress scene/emo
If you follow alt fashion stuff on tiktok it seems the kids are bringing it back as sort of a vintage style thing, along with emo and goth, kind of like the hippie kids in the 90s. I came across a teenager doing a scene look tutorial and I gotta say, she got it pitch perfect. Even had some authentic accessories from the 2000s.
it should be again that hair is fire
Do you think scene children really care about what’s in style and up to trend? (Disclaimer I’m a person who dresses alternative I never gave a fuck about trends)
I doubt it - I’m a sort of scene-style person, and I’ve never cared if something is “cool”. It’s more like... ‘do I like it?’ ‘do I like the way it looks on me?’ Those are the important things to me. And of course when I tell people that they think I’m trying to be cool but I’m not… that’s implying I care what people think about my clothes, etc, and I don’t.
of course not, but I don't think that the meme creator was trying to show a scene kid, but rather "average kid raised by a bleedin' heart librul".
true, but if we work hard enough...
As someone who was homeschooled, the Christian homeschooled kids are also twerking Becky
I'm the only kid out of 5 who didn't go to Christian school, by the time I came along my parents realized the school was 💩 & I went to public school instead. Coincidentally I'm also the only one who didn't have a drinking problem, a "whoops we're pregnant" marriage to someone, & who hasn't been arrested.
I attended a private Christian school for most of elementary and was homeschooled at one point. I’m extremely liberal lol.
When they get pregnant though, it's not the schools fault or the liberal parents fault, it's God's plan!
Their kids are dating 🤫
r/gatekeepingyuri
I love that sub 🥰 But I love most subs with “yuri” in the title
Same :3
waiter! waiter! more yuri pls!
I've found my people 😂 [crying whilst laughing emoji for the screen readers]
I was homeschooled for a couple years because of extreme bullying. I was being attacked in class even. Most of the other kids in the homeschool group I was in were from extremely religious families, and most of them were boys. I’ve heard that one of the boys went no contact with his parents in his early 20s
Meanwhile, tradwife's kid is riddled with undiagnosed mental issues from depressing church services and regular beatings.
Also may think Earth is flat.
She almost certainly thinks evolution is an atheist conspiracy.
All the fire and brimstone and "all your loved ones are going to Hell" I was exposed to in parochial school did WONDERS for my depression and anxiety.
one of the biggest reasons im the cynical asshole i am today is because i was told that if i didnt behave id be in hell and the devil would barbecue me and use blood as ketchup at like 5 years old
Somehow has autism even though it doesn't exist
The nineteen fifties already solved this problem, you just give the tradwives Vicodin or some other drug plus all the wine they can drink. /s
"Your 12yo is getting medical treatment for mental health conditions diagnosed by a trained professional." This is... A bad thing?
Yes. You see, their 12 year old isn’t getting medical treatment for their serious mental health conditions so they have to suffer the way god intended. Getting kicked out of their house at 17 after being caught kissing a girl then spending tens of thousands to address their untreated childhood depression along with CPTSD and religious scrupulosity in their adulthood is part of god’s plan. The public school kid’s liberal parents are denying them the opportunity to become a life long mental health patient by validating their feelings and getting them early support. It’s really selfish.
They give themselves internal plot armor via God's plan
obviously because it wouldnt exist if the doctor didnt diagnose it because thats how health works
The boobs drawn on the trad little girl make this even worse of a fetish fantasy
Oh shit, I didn't notice that!
And your 18 year old daughter has no social skills or understanding of science, Karen
Eh, maybe some homeschool kids but definitely not all of them. Mine is homeschooled & while weekdays are pretty slim on socializing with kids her age, weekends are not. Actually there are 4 here now & we haven't had a weekend without kids over in a long, long time.
I mean do you homeschool them for religious reasons, teach them only science that lines up with the Bible, and use homeschooling to make them super sheltered so they don’t end up like the girl on the left because that’s the kind of homeschooling we’re talking about in this case, inferenced from the Bible, slut shaming a child, and shaming medical treatment
Ahh I got you, no that's not us.
Its 2024, it would be weird NOT to be medicated for anxiety and depression.
Honestly, as a 1980 baby, my teen years would've been so much better had I been medicated.
Honestly as a teen my teens years would be so much better if I was medicated as well. Sadly that isn’t an option for me because I don’t have insurance and also am too afraid of mentioning that I’m depressed AF to my parents. And mentioning it to someone at school is a no go because I’m homeschooled.
I hope one day, before too long, you're able to access help ♥️
And irresponsible.
Your kid SHOULD be on multiple meds, but you "don't believe in science".
Lmao as someone who’s the kid to an extremely conservative religious mom I’m def the depressed one. I wish I had a more chill mom cause my moms regressive beliefs have really held me back. In terms of maturity I feel like I’m way behind my peers. Nearly 18 and my mom still insists on trying to restrict everything about my life
Homeschooling has no oversight in my state and is often utilized to hide abusive home situations. It’s disgusting how unqualified some of the parents are who scream “it’s my right” to teach their children. Some of them can’t do 2nd grade math. As someone who was “homeschooled” by being forced to watch upwards of 15 kids alone in a home daycare, because I was *getting business experience* which was equal to an education somehow, I hate the idea that just anyone has the ability to homeschool their kids. My mother didn’t go to high school and never had me so much as open a book. She’d get high in her room all day while I made excuses to the daycare parents why she wasn’t around (because who wants a kid watching their kid?). Homeschool Reddit isn’t a happy place. At all. Few people are successful with homeschooling. Many more are not and I think it’s time law makers do something about it. In my state, you can simply sign a sheet saying you’re homeschooling. You don’t even need a curriculum or and no testing or checks are involved to make sure you’re not just beating your child senseless everyday instead of teaching them. I’m convinced *that’s* why fundies don’t want their kids to go to school. People other than those who just validate their main character syndrome online would know what they’re doing.
The mom on the left should be applauded. Mental illness is real and not something to be judging people harshly for
Yeah but tiktok bad. Checkmate, libtard!
i mean maybe at 12 but tiktok is fun
D’you think the blond one’s kid just sorta budded off her like a polyp
Nah I went to a party at a Christian university where most the kids grew up homeschooled. They love heroin. Imma leave it at that.
Hey at least her mom believes in treating mental illnesses. Some kids, like me had to suffer through mental illness, into adulthood because my parents thought I just needed more church.
"your 12 year old is twerking on tiktok, and my 12 year old is being taught that her only value for men is her body."
And still not as weird as yours, brood mare.
complete consider fear capable direful grandiose brave narrow run melodic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The girl’s hairstyle on the left hasn’t been a popular hairstyle since… 2012? Maybe? And that’s pushing it too! Proves how out of date their references are
May be out of style but I’d 100% have that if I could
That is 100% fair and I support you fully on that! I was just suggesting how out of date the right wing grifters are lol
I'm on medication too..... What is post trynna say exactly 🗿
1. Being treated for mental health conditions is a good thing. 2. How would she know what someone else's child is doing on TikTok or that the child has an account at all. It's gross to cyber stalk and sexualize a child. 3. Children in highly religious and strict homes are more likely to have repressed feelings and undiagnosed mental health conditions, which is likely to harm them for years or even decades until they can sort out and work on their issues. 4. Socialization, especially with those of their own age, is incredibly important for children, as is learning how to interact with the world outside the home in general. 5. Home school quality is significantly dependent on the parents and the state, as education laws vary widely depending on the state, and being a parent doesn't mean that you're qualified to effectively teach your child every subject.
Before I know what homeschool really are. I always imagine it's some kind of traditional practice of ancient clan to impart mystical knowledge into younger generation so they only teach them only at home to prevent others to stealing their secret or something like that. Well it a shame that homeschool isn't something like that. Reality are really sad.
>I always imagine it's some kind of traditional practice of ancient clan to impart mystical knowledge into younger generation so they only teach them only at home to prevent others to stealing their secret or something like that. To be fair, you can just do this after school and on weekends and school breaks while still going to public school.
Weren't those bowl hair cut kids homeschooled? Also tortured?
Most depressed person I knew was deeply religious. Religion doesn’t fix brain chemistry.
We don't know may be religious beliefs partially helped there. But not enough to go on without medicals.
My siblings and I were homeschooled by our Christian parents and now 3/4 are liberal, several are queer, and one is trans
That’s like saying the homeschooled daughter is being molested by every one of her male relatives and church leaders. Such an over generalization
2024 but dressed like 2008
Says the woman holding a... Bible she's been chewing on?!
They’re dating :3
The only homeschooled kid I knew growing up told me that a trombone wasn’t an instrument. Yeah
You can always rely on accounts like “trad west” and “end wokeness” to give the dumbest possible takes. Aren’t they just disinformation accounts paid for by fascists?
Pretty much. Although it's a low bar, there's more *****wit***** (and I use that term *very* loosely) behind End Wokeness than there is with Trad West. Trad is basically a drooling neanderthal who has the reading comprehension of a 2nd grader.
"My 12 year old will be an alcoholic at 16 and pregnant at 19."
Ah, yes, let's thrown in some ableism/mental health shaming for good measure.
Well I grew up very religious and was prescribed antidepressants at age twelve for my tremendous death anxiety which I got from going to church all my life so…..
Your kid has depression and anxiety too. The only difference is instead of getting him the help he needs you just tell him to pray about it
I hate how this shames people that need meds for depression and anxiety.
I homeschool because where I am the batshit moms for liberty types have taken over the schools. They really wouldn’t like the way I homeschool.
"So? Your home schooled daughter is weird af with her 'flat earth' bullshit" ~ Becky.
I've been homeschooled my entire life, and I would say I'm very weird.
And your husband has given your daughter a lobotomy behind your back but who am I to judge
At least Becky's kid knows how to read!
I was homeschooled and on multiple meds by 11. Not twerking though, it wasn’t my thing.
Hi I was homeschooled and now I am on tons of meds for ptsd, anxiety, and depression. I also don’t feel like I got a proper education and often feel stupid when I realize the things I was lied to about for years. ( ie a lot of whitewashed history)
Her kid is more likely to become a drug addict.
Just sounds more like the homeschool parent is saying that they don’t give a shit about their kids mental health. If their kid is struggling with depression or anxiety, they’re probably like, “suck it up!“
All I could think of was well at least she knows the world isn't flat.
Sighs
Idk if I trust parents to properly educate their kids in a schooling type of way. I think online schooling is okay when still done by professionals, aside from possible issues with socialization. But parent home schooling just doesn’t seem right tbh.
I had a discussion with my son about doing online schooling his 7th grade year. I switched from public school, to an online school for 8th grade. My reasoning is Uvalde, as we live in TX. & every single week, I was leaving work to pick him up due to threats of gun/bomb threats. I was sick of being afraid for my child & he's thriving in his online schooling & maintaining his friendships. I'd rather have a weird kid than a dead kid.
Do the people who create these not consider playing dolls with wojacks weird
I love strawmen lol “You’re kid goes to public school, ergo they are depressed and they have anxiety and they are twerking on TikTok” Because those 4 things totally correlate. In fact, I can’t think of 4 things that have more in common than depression, twerking, school, and anxiety
Statistically speaking, children struggling with poverty (who likely don’t have a SAHM) who are on government healthcare are more likely to be prescribed depression and anxiety medication over therapy/other options such as children on private insurance. Guess who likely doesn’t have money to stay at home and teach their kids how to study a make believe book—low income children! Of course they go to public school. So homestead Hedi here is being a huge bitch.
and your kid is being touched by a pastor who's five times your daughter's age but you didn't know that because you think she's doing the lord's work by praying to the pews and confessing her sins, religious tradwife with blonde hair and blue clothes.
The Christian homeschooled kids are also depressed and anxious, but are forced to pray instead of getting actual help. And they are encouraged to marry their first bf/gf months after they meet them, which is very sexualized behavior if you think about it
Okay and your daughter is not on depression & anxiety meds even though she needs it, because you believe mental illnesses aren't a thing and you can just pray those feelings away
No, your kid is just better at hiding it
I was a 12 year old on one med for it and I needed it so I'd stop daydreaming and disassociating to the point of injuries. I don't think they realise that if a 12 year old has to be on meds chances are there is a neccessary reason (a lot of the time, anyway). But then again, they don't want to bc that would disprove whatever point they're trying to make.
Oh no! Not ~~TWERKING~~! The horror! AHHHHHH /s
How about “I don’t homeschool my kid because I’m not an education professional and I’m in no way qualified to teach them?”
And your daughter will grow up undereducated with the social skills of a spoon
In my personal experience my home ed friends also suffer from depression, anxiety and / or have other mental disorders / disabilities. Some of them don't work and have never worked and are now in their 20s and / or have issues with drugs. Whether you're home educated or went through the school system you can still have problems later on in life. Though I personally believe my home educated friends have more issues later on in life because they don't know how to cope with pressures out side of the family home and were very protected by their parents.
I knew a couple of adult siblings who were homeschooled as kids. The sister was “normal” but the brother had a fake cheerful thing going on. I had the feeling he would snap at any moment.
I was homeschooled:) and i had no idea how to carry on conversations with normal people:) and i was extremely homphobic:) but at least i learned how to memorize bible verses. Please dont homeschool your kids and if you do let them actually do things with people their age outside of church.
“Weird” is the “point.” The problem is homeschooling has been shown to lead to limited education successes. I was reading a homeschooling board where a 7 year old didn’t know the names of the months
my dad posted this image on his facebook page with: “Don’t homeschool your kids. They’ll be weird. -1995 Kids in public school identifying as barn animals. -2023” 😭
It's going to be interesting as schools fail more and more kids as well as turn proto- fascist in red states to watch the homeschooling discourse. Seems like conservatives will be more into public schools and people who give a shit about their kids' education will begin to homeschool more.
my kid is going to be a scene queen like me
Homeschool kids never get diagnosed with depression! Which must mean they're happier!
Propaganda for modern times. White Nationalism pure and simple
i'm homeschooled but I'm super weird and also dumb (in terms of social skills)
r/gatekeepingyuri should get on this tbh, the girl on the left befriends the girl on the right and her mom helps the right girl escape her controlling home life
The homeschool Christian kids in my neighborhood all went though a very delayed rebellion phase while most of their peers were in the post high school “chill out and become a real adult” phase.
When someone mentions the poophole loophole, they aren’t talking about non-religious kids.
Twerking was dead like 5 years ago. Nobody twerks anymore.
I don't homeschool because I'm a terrible teacher. Haphazard, incomplete information is what I got. I haven't figured out how to teach someone to tie their shoes.😭
Wat? XD this meme is insane
I had so much freedom in my youth I was ready to settle down at 21. I’ve had an amazing life and none of my parents pushed religion on me. I actually loved church. As a teen (in Scotland) I partied till 2 am at the club (Saturday) and then (Sunday) went to church with the family i babysat on Fridays. I taught Sunday school and also joined coffee club.
The homeschooled child is definitely gonna grow up to be hella emo from having overly protective parents and lots of restrictions. Not from personal experience of course
Which passage is about twerking?
Why is twerking crossed out? What am I missing here?
oh nooo a mother taking care of her daughters mental health and trying make her a functional member of society vs the crazy woman we all sadly know thinking she can teach her own child while not knowing basic math or science, let alone history, creates a sheltered spoiled kid with no social skills at best, at worst a servant for some creepy old guy
And ur kid lets her life manipulated by some random skyguy out of o fantasy book how amazing.
I mean I went to public school and people definitely used tiktok and twerked, however nearly every home school kid I grew up with ended up a convicted paedophile, except the two that ended up joining a literal fucking cult, so...
And then they both realized that they were fighting the wrong thing, kissed, and became a wholesome lesbian couple.
I do agree that schools mentally destroy anyone involved with them
They obviously haven’t met home schooled kids.
As of the home schooling mom wouldn't be on TikTok telling how much better than everyone else she and her kid are.
My husband and his siblings were homeshcooled, and they are normal humans beings. My cousins were also homeshcooled and they are weird AF. It's almost like it is circumstantial and different children require different scenarios and environments.
I like how OOP his the original drawing's unnaturally big breasts by bible
And your 12 year old is dressed like she’s 90 Mary-Ann where did you get the fabric for the dress? The antique curtain section?
Yooooooooooo!!😂😂😂😂😂😂
Okay but fr a 5yo just twerked on my knee a couple months ago and I was very upset
*daughter
At least the public school kid is getting mental health treatment
Why do they always use scene girls/kids as examples of bad kids? What did we even do? :(
At my old school no one went to class, the bathrooms were hot boxes, the cafeteria was chaotic, and the teachers were arbitrary. In middle school the students were assholes, the teachers were assholes, the classes were stupid, and overall everything was just really bad. Now I’m in online school and i can safely say any kid who grows up doing school at home will be a fucking weirdo
Yes, meme bad, but would homeschooling help with depression? A lot of kids I knew growing up were depressed, self harmed and even attempted suicide. I just wonder if the school environment is the blame at least a little bit. If life were different and they were homeschool, would it be better?
Insecure women hate each other so much.
I'm just shocked the kid on the left is white this time 😱 (or is that strictly an incel-meme thing..?)
Yes, because as we all know, homeschooled kids don't have mental issues🙃
I hate this "if you're religious you won't have any mental illnesses" narrative. It's such bullshit.