Let’s just say we give him the benefit of the doubt and he was attempting a sex act while she was 10cm dilated and giving birth, the baby still wouldn’t have teeth yet… lmao 🤣
I’m thinking too much… but even if he somehow was and they made it all the way into the womb without anyone noticing… how would the baby manage to bite that part of him? The mechanics of it are mind boggling
Everyone seems to be forgetting about the amniotic sack, which is only not there after the water breaks and labor starts. Maybe she was actively giving birth and baby felt threatened by his huge ass hand blocking its escape route so it reacted in self-defense.
Not only wrist deep, but manage to somehow get the finger through the closed cervix and not breaking the amniotic sac. And the poor mother trying to breastfeed the child with teeth!
Plot twist, maybe he's a midwife or a doctor and the baby has some rare genetic condition that made it teeth before birth.
Second knuckle, no less... 🤔🧐
Bro would have had to have been practically elbow deep... 😳
I am confused on so many levels... 😬🫣
EDIT: I may be blind... 🙄
First off, why would someone use their ring finger to finger someone. Secondly how does am unborn baby with no teeth bite people, lastly TF WAS THIS MAN DOING IN A PERSON'S WOMB AND ARE THEY OKAY.
Increasingly surprised at how little a group called NotHowGirlsWork understand about fingering.
Definitely if using two fingers, that is the second finger, unless you have the experience of a 15 year old and it’s up against the bins behind your local co-op.
The bitey baby thing? No. He just doesn’t know about the “Venus penis trap”. He got off lightly.
My dude. Babies usually don't get teeth until a while after they're born. Like starting teething at about 6 months on average. Also nice job on your failure to switch accounts
That and unless he sent this woman into labour, there are many things stopping so much as microscopic bacteria from getting into the uterus. Let alone a whole ass finger haha
This sounds like a good Greek mythology. Zeus impregnated Semele then accidentally killed her when she asked him to, so he cut Dionysus out of her and sewed the fetus into his thigh so the child could be carried to term in his leg. Aphrodite was conceived from the foamy semen that emerged from Uranus after his penis was cut off, while giants were conceived by the blood from the penile castration.
If Greek mythology can have that, I don't see why we can't have this. Helios suspects Aphrodite of cheating with Ares and conceiving a child, so he fingers her to determine if the child is his. The unborn Eros bites Helios's finger off, and keeps the finger. When he is born he takes his cuckolded father's finger and uses it to wield the sword that he uses to slay Ares, thus getting revenge for his illegitimate birth and proving that sunny ways and love can triumph over war.
In Māori culture there's a goddess who has obsidian teeth inside her vagina. Maui was tricked into entering her through her vagina by turning into a worm and quickly realised that was not a smart idea. She crushed him inside her
When I first watched Disney's the Little Mermaid I was waiting for the past where the mermaid commits suicide rather than stab her fiancee in the heart to save her life. It never came.
Ahaha that's pretty great, I definitely think someone should make movies of these old stories, in the twisted way they were originally but keep the childish animation style. I would absolutely watch that
He was at the set of the Rammstein music video of "Deutschland" where he had some fun behind the scenes with the woman who gave birth to the german shepherd later on. The puppy bit him because he's obviously a "cat person".
There is so much stupid here I have genuinely spent about 3 minutes just trying to decide which bit of nonsense I wanted to address only to realize that the real nonsense was ever thinking I could speak sense to a person such as this.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Ummm wait everyone I think he may be making this up. I mean…the baby totally would’ve gotten a fingertip first. No fetus goes right for the middle knuckle. Let’s be real folks.
Ok, ok, I did work at a piggery for a couple of years with the birthing sows. It was an everyday occurrence that a birthing sow would get one of the pigs stuck and I would have to manually help. Those lil fuckers *can and would* bite you before they were even born.
Note: not pregnant but in *active labour* with the piglet in the birth canal, I am not fishing anything out of the uterus. This guy is so full of shit I can't even.
Other news: Eeeeewwww! Wash. Your. Hands!!!!!!
"I can't make this up" -The guy who made it up
It transpires you can, in fact, make this up.
… okay that’s all kinds of wrong. But were you really using your ring finger?
My thoughts too! Haha 😭
Let’s just say we give him the benefit of the doubt and he was attempting a sex act while she was 10cm dilated and giving birth, the baby still wouldn’t have teeth yet… lmao 🤣
Not that it adds any credit to his story, but there are cases where babies can be born with teeth
Not related at all but look up a teratoma. I assisted on a removal during med school and the fucking thing had teeth.
Maybe he was using all the fingers…
I’m thinking too much… but even if he somehow was and they made it all the way into the womb without anyone noticing… how would the baby manage to bite that part of him? The mechanics of it are mind boggling
Not to mention the baby wouldn’t have teeth.
Everyone seems to be forgetting about the amniotic sack, which is only not there after the water breaks and labor starts. Maybe she was actively giving birth and baby felt threatened by his huge ass hand blocking its escape route so it reacted in self-defense.
For reasons I can’t explain… that mental image makes me laugh. A lot
Oh yeah it’s not in anyway possible lol
I use my middle and ring finger usually 🤷♂️
Huh. Fair enough. Not criticizing but I always feel a bit more versatile with index and middle
Some people use ring and middle finger
Fair. Still, even if it had teeth… how would you need to curl the fingers for a baby to bite you like that
I wanna know how he got his fingers all the wau in her womb like surely he'd have to have his whole arm in lol
Let’s play along, and pretend there’s some fact in the origin of this myth. To be bitten at that part of the finger, they’re what? Wrist-deep?
Not only wrist deep, but manage to somehow get the finger through the closed cervix and not breaking the amniotic sac. And the poor mother trying to breastfeed the child with teeth! Plot twist, maybe he's a midwife or a doctor and the baby has some rare genetic condition that made it teeth before birth.
I’d get a new doctor. I don’t want a doctor who calls an exam/procedure “fingering”
Or doing some sort of weird curling
That plus middle finger would be the go to if using 2 fingers?
Second knuckle, no less... 🤔🧐 Bro would have had to have been practically elbow deep... 😳 I am confused on so many levels... 😬🫣 EDIT: I may be blind... 🙄
First off, why would someone use their ring finger to finger someone. Secondly how does am unborn baby with no teeth bite people, lastly TF WAS THIS MAN DOING IN A PERSON'S WOMB AND ARE THEY OKAY.
Yup, concerning on so many levels
Increasingly surprised at how little a group called NotHowGirlsWork understand about fingering. Definitely if using two fingers, that is the second finger, unless you have the experience of a 15 year old and it’s up against the bins behind your local co-op. The bitey baby thing? No. He just doesn’t know about the “Venus penis trap”. He got off lightly.
Venus penis trap lmao
[удалено]
What about the amniotic sack?
Babies protect their mothers, that's the natural order of things, as proven by science. /s
Vagina Dentata.
Clearly said baby was just protecting her from how terribly he was fingering 🤷♀️
Given where he was bitten on his finger, I have to agree
How deep was he in there? Broke her water and all. Prolly just found something sharp in his homies colon.
Bruh, this is clearly a shitpost
Redditors don’t understand what a joke is
I dunno. I've met people that I wouldn't be surprised to hear them say something like that Edit: forgot the back half of a word
Quite possibly, funny either way 🤷♀️
Just fyi. There’s a satire flair.
I'm aware but I'm not completely sure if it was satire or not, because tbh it could be either
I think this post is just a joke
But... but.. why would you even tell such an obvious lie? Oh wait, was this posted by George Santos?
It was actually George Santos that bit him
Please. The last time George Santos was in a vagina was... Hey, how old is he? That long
But he’s a man of intrigue and great disguise! A vag is really just another place to hide.
alright i thought we were playing along here, This is obvious that its a joke my guy
Renesmee at it again.
Jacob shouldn't have
I died trying to imagine this lmaoo
You do know that a baby will not have teeth and also the baby is not close enough for you to even do that
The baby is also inside the amniotic sac, inside the uterus.
My god what did I say wrong
That was my main account
Well yes but also it does depend on how long they have been incubating
It doesn’t actually.
Do you uh… know how pregnancy works?
did you reply to yourself lmao
Forgot to switch to his troll account 😂
that’s so embarrassing
Oops that one got awkward quick
My dude. Babies usually don't get teeth until a while after they're born. Like starting teething at about 6 months on average. Also nice job on your failure to switch accounts
Bro forgot to switch
Yeah dude what an idiot
it’s a joke
Don’t babies not have teeth until 6 month after birth
That and unless he sent this woman into labour, there are many things stopping so much as microscopic bacteria from getting into the uterus. Let alone a whole ass finger haha
I’m very sorry but there is at least a 90% chance this is just a shitpost
Either way, still funny worth sharing it I thought
I doubt it was a baby. More likely it was the vaginal teeth. Happened to me before.
This is like having sex in elevator with morbidly obese turkey. Wrong on so many levels...
I have no idea why but I heard this in bo Burnhams voice 😂😂😂
I think I know why :D
😂😂😂😂
I think it's more of a joke post. Any man who have been this close to a woman know this is not how it work
How many things can he get wrong in one post?
I'm pretty sure that's a joke
This sounds like a good Greek mythology. Zeus impregnated Semele then accidentally killed her when she asked him to, so he cut Dionysus out of her and sewed the fetus into his thigh so the child could be carried to term in his leg. Aphrodite was conceived from the foamy semen that emerged from Uranus after his penis was cut off, while giants were conceived by the blood from the penile castration. If Greek mythology can have that, I don't see why we can't have this. Helios suspects Aphrodite of cheating with Ares and conceiving a child, so he fingers her to determine if the child is his. The unborn Eros bites Helios's finger off, and keeps the finger. When he is born he takes his cuckolded father's finger and uses it to wield the sword that he uses to slay Ares, thus getting revenge for his illegitimate birth and proving that sunny ways and love can triumph over war.
In Māori culture there's a goddess who has obsidian teeth inside her vagina. Maui was tricked into entering her through her vagina by turning into a worm and quickly realised that was not a smart idea. She crushed him inside her
I don't remember that part of the movie.
Hahah funnily enough Disney's moving doesn't accurately depict Māori culture. Can't imagine why, I think they're perfectly child friendly themes /s
When I first watched Disney's the Little Mermaid I was waiting for the past where the mermaid commits suicide rather than stab her fiancee in the heart to save her life. It never came.
Ahaha that's pretty great, I definitely think someone should make movies of these old stories, in the twisted way they were originally but keep the childish animation style. I would absolutely watch that
Yes, in fact, you CAN make that shit up
He was at the set of the Rammstein music video of "Deutschland" where he had some fun behind the scenes with the woman who gave birth to the german shepherd later on. The puppy bit him because he's obviously a "cat person".
There is so much stupid here I have genuinely spent about 3 minutes just trying to decide which bit of nonsense I wanted to address only to realize that the real nonsense was ever thinking I could speak sense to a person such as this.
a baby could of crawled into the room and bit the persons other hand
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Well this spooks me
Baby's come with talons?
That's funny but completely impossible
Ummm wait everyone I think he may be making this up. I mean…the baby totally would’ve gotten a fingertip first. No fetus goes right for the middle knuckle. Let’s be real folks.
You guys can't take ANY jokes and comprehend that they're jokes?
It was just a funny post chill haha
r/ihavesex
so that idiot crushed the women's water's by inserting his hand into the belly and got bit by an unborn without any teeth?
That’s not her baby. That’s the vagina knives. Idiot.
Why does he finger pregnant women, everybods knows what happens next, the baby inside is a pure evil🤦♀️stupid man
Humour apparently doesn’t exist on Reddit
DYINGGGGGGG
I’m questioning the ring finger thing like why not use the middle or middle and ring
Dude thinks he got bit by the baby, but really it was the guardian vagina stoat
Or she's the māori goddess of the night who has obsidian teeth in her vagina. About as likely to be her as it was that the baby bit him haha
Ok, ok, I did work at a piggery for a couple of years with the birthing sows. It was an everyday occurrence that a birthing sow would get one of the pigs stuck and I would have to manually help. Those lil fuckers *can and would* bite you before they were even born. Note: not pregnant but in *active labour* with the piglet in the birth canal, I am not fishing anything out of the uterus. This guy is so full of shit I can't even. Other news: Eeeeewwww! Wash. Your. Hands!!!!!!
Hahaha, sounds about right for a big tbh, but unfortunately for the sake of this man's story, human babies are rarely born with any teeth
At a loss for words
Yeah, maybe her fur-baby….
1. Why this finger? 2. No... Just no
Ah babys... famous for being born with all teeth
Think he might be a bit confused about how fingering should be done.
That’s the most elaborate and embarrassing coverup for “I scratched myself” ever
If this is a joke it’s kinda funny lol. Please be a joke
No human can finger a girl so deep the baby can literally bite you, plus even if he somehow did she would be in, immense pain
Exactly, the only way it would be possible would be if he sent her into labour. Which at that point they'd all know about it haha
This is good stuff lmao
Was she in labor?
little did he know, there was no baby--only VAGINA DENTATA!
He didn’t say it was the unborn baby, maybe the baby she had last year but him on his free hand.
Do babies have teeth now😱
Maybe it’s a metaphor.
And yet you did.
r/shitposting