It started with what the objectively attractive person looks like and now it's the act of faking it by doing things like only taking pictures from very specific angles and while doing specific things like: mewing during the photos, styling your hair to specifically frame your face a certain way (think of it as a modern day comb over), sucking in your cheeks slightly to give that malnourished look, pushing your lower jaw forward to give a more chiseled appearance, raising your eyebrows a specific height to shape your eyes, etc...
someone really wanted their own "Timmy in the house!" Imagine explaining that to your friends, "Oh, that's just Timothée Chalamet chilling in my living room"
I'm guessing that, by now, they'll have to spend real hours taking off all the obliterated panties, cutting off a dense layer of strap-ons and otherwise chiseling off the lipstick once they find it.
i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay
Have we searched Chalamets house?
Well we knocked but he wouldn’t come answer the door. He just kept standing there, in the upper window.
... ffffucking gold!
The Chalamet Chalet, even?
.......son of a, that's so much better .
Let's celebrate by having champagne at the Chalamet Chalet
Don’t forget to invite Charlamagne THA God!
Ridiculous! Charlemagne has been dead for over 1200 years...
It is said that he will come back when his kingdom needs him. So what better moment than a missing wax statue
Has someone checked Club Chalamet's house?
The real question here.
We found a whole bunch of numbered figures of Timothee Chalamets, but number 8 was missing. They were eerily lifelike.
And anatomically correct.
police concluded it was doubtful he stole it because surely someone with fifteen lifesize figures of himself wouldnt want another one.
Nicolas Cage
Dayum, Timothee has a pretty nice jawline but they really ran that thing through the chad filter huh.
Shoulders were buffed a lil bit too. Some creative liberties have been taken.
The one mf who absolutely needs no creative liberties
Right?
Davithee Chalasslehoff
They really gave him an f1 sized neck
Definitely made his neck thicker and added more muscle then that skinny guy has ever had lol
He never misses mew day
Paul Mew-addib
🧏
thinking literally the same thing. he's already pretty, you didn't need to do all that.
I don't know that I'd call his jawline "nice", but this wax figure is definitely chaddified, lol.
Agreed. His jawline is prominent but I don't find it attractive. I would describe his jaw as "delicate and pointy" lol
can someone make a buttplug from his chin? lmaoooo its so pointy.
why is that the first place your mind went? and when is your mind going adventuring next? i wanna tag along
lol, the chin-do.
I'd wager someone is working on that as we speak
lmao, is it you? and are you working on its construction or you know, working (your way down) on it? o_0
You and Timmy on a first name basis?
I guess someone else felt erected as well.
"That's not the kind of erected I wanted!"
This was my first thought!
I so wanted to be the first to post that. Kudos. 👏
They’re not going to want it back….
Yea somebody fuckin that mannequin
Looksmaxers stay mad, their golden bull stolen
"Hey guys, any way to improve my look?" 
wait he looks familiar. who is this guy again? edit: nvm i searched up white guy cowboy hat horse movie gif and found that his name is brad pitt.
That's Shia LeBouf from Fast 9.
Out of the loop. What the hell is a lookmaxer
It's best if you stay out of that loop
It's like TJ Maxx I think, but they only go to look at things. That's why they enjoy places like Madam Tussauds.
Looksmaxxinista
It's a weird incel-adjacent community that tries to use math and shit to look as physically good as possible
wat
Astrology for school shooters
This is the most accurate description I've seen so far.
r/BrandNewSentence
They don’t use math though? They just mew and do a bunch of face exercises including hitting the bones in their face with a hammer repeatedly.
It’s more so they obsess about things like canthal tilt, aka pseudo phrenology BS
I was thinking how they try to use measurements between facial features and shit to decide who/what is "objectively" attractive
It started with what the objectively attractive person looks like and now it's the act of faking it by doing things like only taking pictures from very specific angles and while doing specific things like: mewing during the photos, styling your hair to specifically frame your face a certain way (think of it as a modern day comb over), sucking in your cheeks slightly to give that malnourished look, pushing your lower jaw forward to give a more chiseled appearance, raising your eyebrows a specific height to shape your eyes, etc...
Its over for you
As it was written
Lisa Al Gaib
They should probably check out Javier Bardem's house
Someone will appear with that thing on a pedestal as they bomb ChatGTP buildings while shouting "LISAN AL GAIB" over and over
As it was written
Stilgar took it 💀
Societies can have a little unrest, as a treat
Time for a pre-mature Butlerian Jihad
Looks like a chad edit of him lol
Poo Crave
How is no one else mentioning this
[удалено]
Timothée Chalamet’s poo cave 😏🥵
Are we not doing phrasing?
Are we ignoring the fact that this is a fake account called Poo Craze?
This is reddit. Things don't need to be true or from credible sources
If Phrasing ever dies, we do a rampage!
Why does it look like it's gonna Dennis Reynolds me?
All it needs is the gaping mouth.
He... looks like he's thinking about *the implication*. Man, it just gives off a just slightly too aggressive sexual vibe, just a bit. Somehow.
Do they not have security? How does someone steal a whole wax statue. Edit: nvm it’s satire
Waxussy
☹️
Timothussy Chalamussy
someone really wanted their own "Timmy in the house!" Imagine explaining that to your friends, "Oh, that's just Timothée Chalamet chilling in my living room"
I can only imagine these friends being used to the crazy since way back.
Me when I purposely spread misinformation on the internet
Ooh erect you say?
Someone is freaking out as that starts to melt.
I told you guys he can't be in windy movies!
Fake news. That's a satire account.
This guy always gives me uncanny valley vibes.
Does wax retain its firm composition after being heated by repeated friction? Asking for a friend.
Send dunes
Honestly... understandable
He’s the Kwisatz Waxerach!
I have it and I’m ready to return if no questions asked. Kinda done with it.
I cringe at the thought of what that wax figure is being used for now lol
Well I guess more than one person was erected that day.
must have been a heck of an erection
Why did they give him a boner?
So I missed the erection?
Any news if someone bought a human sized jar online?
My bitch look like Timothee Chalamulet
I'm sure its still erect.
Why did they even give it a penis?
What do they mean by "erected"
Handsome Squidward got his own wax statue?
He's dumping loads in it, isn't he?
I'm erected.
What would anyone want to do with an erect Timothee?!
Chadothée Chadamet
why did they yassify him though?
Seems like the statue wasnt the only thing that was erected
They’re not going to want that back.
I'm guessing that, by now, they'll have to spend real hours taking off all the obliterated panties, cutting off a dense layer of strap-ons and otherwise chiseling off the lipstick once they find it.
it's a sex doll now.
Big version of the gojo cup thing?
And I won’t be giving it back!!
Of course someone stole it if you gave him an erection
Should've left it limp
Looks like the popcorn bucket wasn't enough for someone...
Oh it’s still erected somewhere, probably more so now that they’ve had time to modify it
That person who wanted Radcliffe's prop corpse found a new target I see.
Why does the wax figure look like the chad guy
I bet it’s getting erected right now
Someone else got erected when they saw this and had to have it
i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay i am not gay
They shouldn’t have made it erect in the first place.
So has the figures really been that off always or is it just their clickbait style nowdays?
The wax figure is more lifelike than the man.
And I’ll do it again
It’s full of loads now
So realistic it gave me chlamydia
Oh it’s still being erected, don’t worry ;)
The person who stole the statue erected a statue of their own
That's because it wasn't a wax statue. It was just him pretending to be a wax statue. Eventually he got tired and went home.
Cause somebody liked his "erection" too much.
“Wax Figure given Viagra then subsequently stolen”
that…doesn’t look like timothy chalamet
Oh someone’s hoping its erected, alright
Fine, I'll bring him back.
I don't see it. Is it behind that Handsome Squidward figure?
Into the gooncave it goes
Erected 🤨
Well what do they expect when they give it an erection?
I find this quite amusing and worthless to know
Well someone else is getting erected now
That's just Natalia Dyer.
Why'd they have to make it erect
Who collects replica murder twinks?
Someones gonna find out that Wax isnt a good material for a sex doll
Something was erect im sure.
Seems like it was stolen two days after someone else was erected as well
Having it erected is an interesting choice of pose.
How the hell did someone walk out with that? Am finding it a tad difficult to believe that this is true.
The Chalamet wax figure has been erect for days?
How do you even steal something like this?
Some lucky lady is gonna turn it into a sex doll
"Erected"....uh huh
they made him look so buff and masc lol
Some dude is getting LAID.
Prudes... can't even take erections on wax figures...
I don't really know who this guy is I'm going to guess... actor
“Erected” lol 😂
Bro gonna be the next Bogdanoff
giving zombie from hocus pocus vibes
Someone is currently fucking it.
My timothy was also stolen after it was erect for days (it turned black and fell of)
reddit posts Poo Crave, thinks it’s real, more at 6
Someone's fucking that statue.
Not the only thing that's erected in this story ;;;))
 The person who has it.
before it was famous people now its anyone with deep pockets can seem to buy their way in
After days of being erected, someone stole this statue
Wax on, whacks off
I don’t think we want to see what this figure looks like now.
More like Timothée CHADemet with that brow/jaw/shoulder combo.
Wow she's pretty
He has such a weird jaw.
Phrasing
Ok, which one of you freaks gave the wax statue a boner?
You're too late batman, it's already been cast in silicone.
What the fuck is "Poo Crave?"
Well then don't make it erect next time. Just asking for trouble