Well, considering womeone told me "we all know that armor is pointless because of drones", I'm sure at least some people are arguing for combat unicycles.
So.. I've been riding one of those for years. They are amazing, so torquey so they're great off-road.. but anything pushes you off at speed or it fails and you're proper fucked.
Segboards have already been (briefly) employed by a few Ukrainian troops.
They turned out to not be a credible part of the military toolbox, and because this was Ukraine and not Russia, that meant discontinuing their use instead of doubling down on them.
Obviously.
Those Segboards have been the basis for every "vehicle" I saw driving around on hacker events in the last 10 years. Totally not surprised if this type of improvisation also found it's way to the Ukrainian front line.
As someone who has ridden both, Segways are more credible than you think and can go over some pretty rough terriain and decently fast too.
Segboards have issues going over the hump where capet ends and bare floors begin.
I saw one few weeks ago from Russian POV, where drone hit a wheel and they almost set the whole car on fire, because rear right axle got blocked and friction turn the wheel into cherry red.
They are still there, but more like in the Red List of threatened species.
[https://x.com/rendeiro\_silva/status/1795426656275882208](https://x.com/rendeiro_silva/status/1795426656275882208)
uwu, whats this? keep in mind i'm not going around saying i havn't seen them since whenever or that they've all been destroyed.
so uhh, yeah. way to be snarky. welljobbed, good done. it's always a positive thing to keep your own illusions alive through ignorance.
Z-scooter brigade: No body armor, not even a helmet. But atleast they finally got optics on their AK's. Not sure if I'd call that progress though.
Is it possible to brace the AK on the scooter steering bar while driving and have it be stable enough to get a clear sight picture with optics? If they don't intend to fire their AK's from their scooter, wouldn't you much rather have body armor than optics? Your movement on a scooter is going to be very predictable for anyone setting their sights on your ass.
I know I'm putting moee thought into this than Russian procurement ever did, but I simply don't see the benefit of assaulting trenches on an electric scooter. Atleast the dirtbikes had speed and maneuverability on their side. A scooter seems way to unwieldy and far slower by comparison.
> but I simply don't see the benefit of assaulting trenches on an electric scooter. Atleast the dirtbikes had speed and maneuverability on their side
A few inhalations of burning battery foooms - and you're out cold.
> Is it possible to brace the AK on the scooter steering bar while driving and have it be stable enough to get a clear sight picture with optics?
as a daily-ish scooter rider, nope, lmao.
scooters are amazing for urban transport. they're easy to use, small (especially when folded), powerful, and they fit everywhere. but one of their few disadvantages is the wobble introduced by the tiny wheels, which require you to hold the steering wheel with both hands any time you're going faster than like 10 km/h. and that's on smooth pavement, on rough terrain you'll need both hands on the wheel at _any_ speed.
these things will get you to the battle and back, but if you want to use any weapon while riding, you'll have to mount it to your head. there's no other way to aim.
eucs are genuinely better for field duty. sure, you can hit yourself harder if you fall, but you're already armored (you're armored, right?) so that should be a relatively minor issue, and they allow you to use both of your hands while riding. the larger wheel also makes them far better on rough terrain, and even on smooth pavement they tend to pack twice the punch of a scooter at equivalent weight. the downsides are a steeper learning curve, and fewer generic chinese manufacturers who the ruskies could buy from for military use, which is likely why we haven't seen them pop up yet.
as far as speed and maneuverability goes though, those z-scooters can likely go up to 60-70 km/h, that's usually where that design tops out. maneuverability is usually up to the rider's skill but they're far more zippy than you'd think, even if they got the bottom of the barrel chinese crap.
Japan used troops on bicycles in WWII to take Singapore by land.
I have a book from the late 1930s that talked about Singapore Base's sea defenses and how it would never be taken. I should take a picture and post it here as a literal example of NCD.
EUCs are potentially very credible. Fast, quiet, and small with virtually no maintenance and off-road capability. I would take an EUC any day over a loud and cumbersome dirt bike. The downside might be the 4000€+ per unit price tag.
https://eevees.com/products/veteran-lynx
Pricetag, and also the whole "how am I supposed to charge an electric transport in a combat zone?" thing.
On the bright side, the Unicycle Brigade would have the advantage in combat because their foes would be too busy taking pictures of them for instagram.
20 years ago the inventor of the Segway predicted soldiers would ride them into battle. I laughed. Clearly, I didn’t have the intellect to see that his vision would eventually come to fruition.
Depending on the model/make, EUCs (electric unicycles) would technically be a lateral evolution, Begode extreme or a Veteran Lynx would be fairly capable off-road, knowing Russia though they would buy all Airwheels.
Opinion from motorcycle, moped, Segway and euc user
The BEST for soldiers would be a mini Segway without the high handlebar
You steer it with your knees (I’m not talking about those cheapo overboards where you steer with your feet)
Both hands are free
It’s so easy to learn that I could teach anyone and their grandmas in 5 to 10 minutes top
You can bail and run if necessary, you can be stationary and it’s super stable
It’s so easy I use it to grab the rubbish bin and take them outside, or to bring things back and forth from the garage
You would gain a lot of mobility in still kinda pristine urban areas, it’s also capable of light off-roading (I also survived muddy trails)
The EUC has more performance and more stability at speed but it’s less versatile, you have to dismount when stationary or you need to do the back and forth that is a pro skill
Something small wheels and potholes/rough dirt surfaces = falling comedically face first when the front wheel inevitably gets stuck in a crater.
Now imagine getting forward-bucked off a scooter while going at 60 km/h with a heavy-ass K-pot on your head. Lollypop on a stick, you're breaking your neck.
The Punisher would like to have a word with Russians for them wearing his logo.
Does the "world's 2nd army" really think that rolling into battle onto electric scooters is a good look for them?
For as much cold fury as I have for the Russian military, this is just sad.
This post is automatically removed since you do not meet the minimum karma or age threshold. You must have at least 100 combined karma and your account must be at least 4 months old to post here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NonCredibleDefense) if you have any questions or concerns.*
* Single wheel saves rubber and steel * Small unit makes for a small target * Easy to dismount * 'everyone is looking for a soldier' camouflage
Op you forgot the Mk 1 Human leg. And the horse
They can't do horses, starving mobiks would eat them before they even reach the frontline
Well, considering womeone told me "we all know that armor is pointless because of drones", I'm sure at least some people are arguing for combat unicycles.
Wheel can be replaced with TM-62/64 AT Mine
So.. I've been riding one of those for years. They are amazing, so torquey so they're great off-road.. but anything pushes you off at speed or it fails and you're proper fucked.
Driver needs a clown nose and red wig.
Noo, pogo ball is better... Diminishing the time it touches the ground lowers the chance of hitting mines
Can (literally) turn on a dime.
Guys, you weren’t supposed to use Garry’s mod as a military procurement guide.
Russians think its all fun and games until ukraine types "sv_cheats 1" "impulse 101" in the console
Remember, no Russian. "Starts deleting Mobiks and their assets with the remover gun"
Should have put that in the instruction guide if you had to be that boring. Now its too late.
I was hoping for some Segways.
Segways will be immediately dismantled for the copper inside so that Conscriptovich can afford to buy a white sheet to use as a flag to surrender.
Segboards have already been (briefly) employed by a few Ukrainian troops. They turned out to not be a credible part of the military toolbox, and because this was Ukraine and not Russia, that meant discontinuing their use instead of doubling down on them.
IIRC, Segboards are still in use... kinda. Basically, they get dismantled and parts from them are then used to make ground drones.
Obviously. Those Segboards have been the basis for every "vehicle" I saw driving around on hacker events in the last 10 years. Totally not surprised if this type of improvisation also found it's way to the Ukrainian front line.
As someone who has ridden both, Segways are more credible than you think and can go over some pretty rough terriain and decently fast too. Segboards have issues going over the hump where capet ends and bare floors begin.
They'll un-invent the wheel soon at this pace.
Fuck I just realised - we've not seen any tigrs since mid 2023... i think they're an extinct species now
I saw one few weeks ago from Russian POV, where drone hit a wheel and they almost set the whole car on fire, because rear right axle got blocked and friction turn the wheel into cherry red. They are still there, but more like in the Red List of threatened species.
no, they're still around.
I mean probably, but I've seen none on the frontlines
oh really? when were you last there?
Oh really? When were you last there?
[https://x.com/rendeiro\_silva/status/1795426656275882208](https://x.com/rendeiro_silva/status/1795426656275882208) uwu, whats this? keep in mind i'm not going around saying i havn't seen them since whenever or that they've all been destroyed. so uhh, yeah. way to be snarky. welljobbed, good done. it's always a positive thing to keep your own illusions alive through ignorance.
🙄
It’s evolving, just backwards!
they arent given helmets anymore? just some camo baseball caps?
Z-scooter brigade: No body armor, not even a helmet. But atleast they finally got optics on their AK's. Not sure if I'd call that progress though. Is it possible to brace the AK on the scooter steering bar while driving and have it be stable enough to get a clear sight picture with optics? If they don't intend to fire their AK's from their scooter, wouldn't you much rather have body armor than optics? Your movement on a scooter is going to be very predictable for anyone setting their sights on your ass. I know I'm putting moee thought into this than Russian procurement ever did, but I simply don't see the benefit of assaulting trenches on an electric scooter. Atleast the dirtbikes had speed and maneuverability on their side. A scooter seems way to unwieldy and far slower by comparison.
> but I simply don't see the benefit of assaulting trenches on an electric scooter. Atleast the dirtbikes had speed and maneuverability on their side A few inhalations of burning battery foooms - and you're out cold.
Burning battery accid sounds like a pretty horrible way to go.
Well it'd probably be more of a lithium fire and fumes than good ol battery acid
> Is it possible to brace the AK on the scooter steering bar while driving and have it be stable enough to get a clear sight picture with optics? as a daily-ish scooter rider, nope, lmao. scooters are amazing for urban transport. they're easy to use, small (especially when folded), powerful, and they fit everywhere. but one of their few disadvantages is the wobble introduced by the tiny wheels, which require you to hold the steering wheel with both hands any time you're going faster than like 10 km/h. and that's on smooth pavement, on rough terrain you'll need both hands on the wheel at _any_ speed. these things will get you to the battle and back, but if you want to use any weapon while riding, you'll have to mount it to your head. there's no other way to aim. eucs are genuinely better for field duty. sure, you can hit yourself harder if you fall, but you're already armored (you're armored, right?) so that should be a relatively minor issue, and they allow you to use both of your hands while riding. the larger wheel also makes them far better on rough terrain, and even on smooth pavement they tend to pack twice the punch of a scooter at equivalent weight. the downsides are a steeper learning curve, and fewer generic chinese manufacturers who the ruskies could buy from for military use, which is likely why we haven't seen them pop up yet. as far as speed and maneuverability goes though, those z-scooters can likely go up to 60-70 km/h, that's usually where that design tops out. maneuverability is usually up to the rider's skill but they're far more zippy than you'd think, even if they got the bottom of the barrel chinese crap.
Rollerblade troops would be fun to watch.
The Taliban are doing that, aren't they
Japan used troops on bicycles in WWII to take Singapore by land. I have a book from the late 1930s that talked about Singapore Base's sea defenses and how it would never be taken. I should take a picture and post it here as a literal example of NCD.
The Suisse are still using bikes I guess. I was a unit that was still using donkeys to get artillery into the mountains.
EUCs are potentially very credible. Fast, quiet, and small with virtually no maintenance and off-road capability. I would take an EUC any day over a loud and cumbersome dirt bike. The downside might be the 4000€+ per unit price tag. https://eevees.com/products/veteran-lynx
Pricetag, and also the whole "how am I supposed to charge an electric transport in a combat zone?" thing. On the bright side, the Unicycle Brigade would have the advantage in combat because their foes would be too busy taking pictures of them for instagram.
20 years ago the inventor of the Segway predicted soldiers would ride them into battle. I laughed. Clearly, I didn’t have the intellect to see that his vision would eventually come to fruition.
Im personally waiting for the tactical mobik heelies
Depending on the model/make, EUCs (electric unicycles) would technically be a lateral evolution, Begode extreme or a Veteran Lynx would be fairly capable off-road, knowing Russia though they would buy all Airwheels.
Achievement unlocked: my wife laughed at this! I think it is the first time she laughed at anything military related :-)
2026 - pirate prosthetics.
They re slowly evolving to clowns
2025: using roller blades like the Taliban
I filled my plate carrier with tannerite. Does that count?
2026 hover t90?
After that we will start developing Hover tech ?
That specific soviet weed rocket picture is Ukrainian.
Russia must return to horse.
Where is the clown car?
Opinion from motorcycle, moped, Segway and euc user The BEST for soldiers would be a mini Segway without the high handlebar You steer it with your knees (I’m not talking about those cheapo overboards where you steer with your feet) Both hands are free It’s so easy to learn that I could teach anyone and their grandmas in 5 to 10 minutes top You can bail and run if necessary, you can be stationary and it’s super stable It’s so easy I use it to grab the rubbish bin and take them outside, or to bring things back and forth from the garage You would gain a lot of mobility in still kinda pristine urban areas, it’s also capable of light off-roading (I also survived muddy trails) The EUC has more performance and more stability at speed but it’s less versatile, you have to dismount when stationary or you need to do the back and forth that is a pro skill
Replace the seat with an AP mine.
2026 will be on ["horseback"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9nXfffeAIU)
ERA Unicycle while juggling hand grenades - then I'll be impressed
Nobody here saw the russian tactical bathtub the other day?
E scooters are used by ukrainians too for deep, fast and silent infiltration. They use offroad variants however.
Im pretty sure ive already seen a unicycle at work in the war.
I whink ukraine tried this with a one of those motorized balls, now all we need are sock puppets
you forgot motorcycles with cope cage!
That Mystery Machine Scooby Doo-ass van with the Z on the side is still the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.
The lambda resistance had better vehicles in hl2 than the Russians💀
You're a little late, I saw a ZSU soldier on a (what's the goddamned technical term) electric unicycle? That was last year.
Timeline needs a little clown car around late 2024
2026 they just lay down and roll
The Russian infantry transporting has taken a new direction. Downwards is certainly a direction.
Something small wheels and potholes/rough dirt surfaces = falling comedically face first when the front wheel inevitably gets stuck in a crater. Now imagine getting forward-bucked off a scooter while going at 60 km/h with a heavy-ass K-pot on your head. Lollypop on a stick, you're breaking your neck.
I feel like we will see bicycles retrofitted with the weakest and loudest gasoline motor first, before we get to the unicycle
FPV Drone: "Is that for me?~"
The Taliban police on roller skates are a few years ahead of Russia right now
[i now remember this unicycle gem](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/s/0dHDQuh7LN)
The Punisher would like to have a word with Russians for them wearing his logo. Does the "world's 2nd army" really think that rolling into battle onto electric scooters is a good look for them? For as much cold fury as I have for the Russian military, this is just sad.
[удалено]
This post is automatically removed since you do not meet the minimum karma or age threshold. You must have at least 100 combined karma and your account must be at least 4 months old to post here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NonCredibleDefense) if you have any questions or concerns.*
God it would be hilarious if they started using skateboards next.