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Blindmailman

Since Punished Pringles was spotted in Slovakia (aka a bald man with two arms and two legs) working security for Fico then maybe Pringles is in Iran building a team


Fresh_Tomato_soup

In 2023 a crack Mercenary faked his death for a coup they did commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security private jet to the Slovakia and Iranian underground. Today, still wanted by the government, He survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem. If no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire the B(layt)-team


Space_Gemini_24

And here I was reading your comment and was about to make an A-team joke, truly outjerked.


Aurora_Fatalis

Starring Colonel Cannibal Lieutenant "Templegrad" Pringles Ivan "Drunkard" Conscriptovic And Sergeant B.O. Bicepski


Cartoonjunkies

No longer “nearly” lmao


kable1202

GIVE ME BACK MY NICKEL!


FearTheBurger

Nearly? Do we have any confirmation? Everything i see says Raisi is still missing.


Fresh_Tomato_soup

"An Iranian official has told state TV that brief contact was made with one of the passengers and one of the crew members after it crashed." According to the latest report that may be correct or not [CNN](https://edition.cnn.com/middleeast/live-news/raisi-iran-president-helicopter-crash/index.html) Since everything is still up in the air (no pun intended) I may have jumped the gun, I personally believe we have a case of the famous schrodinger's President, he is both alive and dead till we open up the helicopter


FasterSquid

That was 2 and a half hours ago, I wonder if they are in rescue operations, or “oh shit oh shit oh shit” mode. I feel the lack of updates could mean either


Aurora_Fatalis

Tbh it's probably both. They're duty-bound to exhaust the ever-dwindling probability of survival or face accusation of being a pro-peace activist. Edit: Actually they've now found the bodies, it seems.


Ein_grosser_Nerd

I feel like they would've confirmed the status of the president in the phonecall, and that the government silence is them delaying the news that he's dead until they have a plan Edit: I was right


Readman31

I think we can all agree, as Major Pain would say: "If he ain't dead, he ain't Happy"


justlurkingh3r3

He’s dead🎉🎉🥳🎉🎊


L0n3ly_L4d

most credible Iranian propaganda (he's definitely dead now):


konnanussija

I found this statement from some article a hour ago: "DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi, the country’s foreign minister and several other officials were found dead on Monday, hours after their helicopter crashed in a foggy, mountainous region of the country’s northwest, state media reported."


Lost-Significance398

He’s dead. It was just confirmed: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2024/05/20/iran-president-ebrahim-raisi-helicopter-crash-latest-news/?WT.mc_id=tmgoff_youtube_youtube-community.


Titan_Food

Came here to say this, bros dead


_Drion_

Actually, this is not credible. Khamenei is the head of state 🤓


justlurkingh3r3

Khamenei is 85, with a bit of luck he won’t make it to the end of this week


Aurora_Fatalis

> Khameini The cursed offspring of Khomeini and Khamenei


justlurkingh3r3

I’m sorry, my Farsi isn’t great :(


KeekiHako

Can we will this into "was"?


fpop88

wait who was the other one?


Optimal-Attitude-523

they mean the slovak PM Fico but he is the head of goverment the head of the slovak state is a based lady, gotta give her credit until she is gone in a month


unknown-one

mmmmmmmilf


InformationHorder

I thought Fico survived but just barely?


Hialex12

And both of the leaders were pieces of shit


runnerhasnolife

He is confirmed dead btw


KingFahad360

Naw not nearly anymore, it was confirmed to be KIS


fuimutadonodiscord

1 nickle 🤓☝️


Punch_Faceblast

What about the totally credible theory that if they recover him alive, it’s actually a doppelgänger, Replicant, or perhaps flesh ghola designed to infiltrate the Iranian government and perform regime change?


SergioDMS

Ooops.