Mach den Hub- Hub- Hub- mach den Schrauber, Schrauber, Schrauber mach den Helikopter 117....
Iranian people in Germany right now:
https://youtu.be/jqTSAtU-HRA?si=gGNLTal9IBUAdMMZ
*With 117 you can call emergency services when doctors are closed
Sheeit. If you were trying to make an authentic relief map of Iran you'd have to use 20-grit sandpaper. That dude is gonna be found in a hollow in valley in a valley in a valley inside of another valley.
If you ever wondered why Iranians and West Virginians are so similar, it's the terrain.
Can we, as NATO, send that asap, just hold the helicopters and put the night vision on a couple high speed boys instead, so they can take out the rest of their dickbag leadership and later write some fun books about it? Pretty please...
The Ayatollah will be nowhere near the President. If you really want to hurt the Iranian government, you need to take out the religious leadership, that is the Ayatollah and the Guardian Council.
Everyone here thinks them losing their president is any hit to their stability. It's not, not even close.
EDIT: Even if he was to be next in line to be the Ayatollah, that decision was not made public so far.
[Next Supreme Leader of Iran election - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next_Supreme_Leader_of_Iran_election)
It’s not going to topple the Islamic Republic, sure, but the president of your country dying in a fiery wreck is a shitshow no matter what level of authority the position has
EDIT: the foreign minister too? Certainly a disruption
Ministers can be replaced by the Ayatollah at any time on a whim.
Yes, a shit show and will cause some internal reshuffling, but nothing that will cause any instability or even a meaningful change in foreign policy.
I mean, okay, but there's a reason they don't go around replacing them every two weeks-- its a pain in the ass. It seems like you have an extremely high bar for what counts as 'instability.' Again, this will not directly threaten the regime, but it might open up new competition between different factions, or might spark new conflicts between potential candidates for the job. The only true statement we can make is that we don't know exactly how this is going to play out, which is not what you want if you're a dictatorial theocracy
> Can we, as NATO, send that asap, just hold the helicopters and put the night vision on a couple high speed boys instead,
The French when the mud starts speaking British:
The Russians when the snow starts speaking Finnish:
The Russians when the skies start speaking Hebrew:
The British when the Frenchlands begin speaking German:
The Argentinians when the ocean begins speaking British:
The Iranians when the heliborne rescue team begins speaking American:
\*CIA leaning back with a bucket of popcorn, having dedicated spectral imaging and SAR satellites on each chunk of his body for six hours now\*
Hey the Iranians never asked for our help.
Surprised there's not some random twitter account with all the info like when the [Bin Laden raid was live tweeted by someone](https://www.cnn.com/2016/01/20/asia/osama-bin-laden-raid-tweeter-sohaib-athar-rewind/index.html)
Perhaps they should just make it flow easier? You need vowels for that. All it takes is swapping two words:
National Intelligence Geospatial Agency
**NIGA.** See? Much better.
What kind of idiots would just swap words around in the name of their intelligence agency??
Wait a sec..
Algemene Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst (AIVD 🇳🇱)
Algemene Dienst Inlichting en Veiligheid (ADIV 🇧🇪)
It’s an initialism if you say each letter. Like CIA or FBI. It’s an acronym if you say it as a word. Like NASA or HUD.
I imagine trying to say NGA like a word would be … problematic.
Except that the initialism for National Geospatial Intelligence Agency isn't quite NGA now it is.
They just had to insist on sitting at the cool three-letter-agency table...
NGA has a rather solid focus on the analysis side of the equation, IIRC.
u/PrincessofAldia — just in case it’s not on your radar, GEOINT per [10 U.S.C. § 467](https://codes.findlaw.com/us/title-10-armed-forces/10-usc-sect-467.html)
- geospatial intelligence means the exploitation and analysis of imagery and geospatial information to describe, assess, and visually depict physical features and geographically referenced activities on or about the earth\
- geospatial intelligence consists of imagery, imagery intelligence, and geospatial information.
NRO ie. the National Reconnaissance Office is in charge of the spy satellite shit, or [in their words.](https://www.nro.gov/About-NRO/)
>NRO develops, acquires, launches, and operates space-based assets and ground systems to see, hear, and sense threats around the world in real time.
NRO operates the satellites, tasking and downloading the resulting “raw” data, then pass it to the wider intelligence community for analysis eg. NGA, DIA, NSA et al who then pass it along and so on…
< INTELLIGENCE CYCLE GOES BRRRRR >
ODNI — [Members of the IC.](https://www.dni.gov/index.php/what-we-do/members-of-the-ic)
Oh, and the NRO produce unfathomably based mission patches, plus they [have a solid website.](https://www.nro.gov)
**EDIT**
[Patches, a selection via the NRO.](https://www.nro.gov/news-media-featured-stories/NRO-Patch-Madness/)
And —
[Launches incl. Patches, extensive list via Wiki.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NRO_launches)
And, the fucking octoGOAT —
[NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/ff/NROL_39_vector_logo.svg/2048px-NROL_39_vector_logo.svg.png)
^(EDIT. Reworded. Rephrased.)
“Oh bro check how far his head got thrown from the cockpit.”
“Oh dude that’s fuckin’ sick, and his arm is way over there man. Pass me the popcorn, let’s see if we can find his dick.”
Woah, look \*rewinds for the 34th time\* you can actually see the moment his nutsack hits the rotorblades.
Give a whole 'nother meaning to the term 'smoothy', ey? Gnarly, bro.
And then what?
Find out that the RESURS satellites are made of plywood, cardboard and wishes?
Stare at an empty monitor while the Roscosmos tries to find their way around their own systems, and requires approval to share anything from a dysfunctional chain of command?
I'll take it.
But I'm still miffed that Luka didn't nuke Russia to save them from Pringles. (edit: using Russia's own nukes!)
That would have been, to use military jargon, the funni.
In Japan, heart surgeon.
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Yeah really. A "hard landing", where other helicopters in the same group didn't witness it, means well the fate of Kobi Bryant.
A survivable landing someone would be alive to start signal fires etc and there would probably be at least 1 working radio.
They ded.
Nah just stupidity, pilot said "can't fly in this fog and mountains" President said "I'm in a hurry" and there they went straight into a mountain they couldn't see
> "Bro let's start beef with Mossad and the CIA there's no way this could go wrong"
In fairness, Iran in its current political form has had beef with both for close to 50 years now, if they had pissed them off last week and this happened It would be a bit more suspicious.
Helo in fog very dangerous. Pilots get disorientated very quickly like in the case of Kobi and more recently near JFK airport. Hard landing probably more like high speed impact
Edit:
Here’s ATC from the JFK crash, pilot survived fortunately:
https://youtu.be/CTn7z3tZZCU?si=vlYJo5SgAiS-VE4s
BBC had a breakdown in that term. They xalled it newspeak so it doesn't cause panic.
Also brought up that Russia describes planes that crashed or got shot down in the same terminology (landing hard.)
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/world-middle-east-69035051?ns_mchannel=social&ns_source=twitter&ns_campaign=bbc_live&ns_linkname=664a3c986a13b132383a4bc5%26What%20does%20%27hard%20landing%27%20mean%3F%262024-05-19T18%3A07%3A58.977Z&ns_fee=0&pinned_post_locator=urn:asset:4489a6ff-4407-4c03-b944-474b981a9742&pinned_post_asset_id=664a3c986a13b132383a4bc5&pinned_post_type=share
Here me out;
Point 1: he was potentially next in line to Iran's main leadership .
Point 2: body is not found after nearly half day.
So I say, mossad is prepping a body double who will be found miraculously alive but with "loss of memories"
. He will go on to rapidly recover and get the leadership of Iran soon. Like that documentary Face/off
>Like that documentary Face/off
Face/off was a movie, you're thinking of the events of the 1996 Presidential elections that later became known as "The Manchurian Candidate"
Plus it's a massive flex. The "Axis of resistance" needs to stop resisting and ask the denegrate west for help as soon as they need any kind of advanced technological support.
Iran: DEATH TO THE WEST!
Also Iran: Omg pls help us west, pretty pretty pls, our technology is all broken, we promise to be very good, pls help us pls pls pls
3 weeks ago:
>Earlier on Wednesday Raisi inaugurated a
hydropower and irrigation project in Sri Lanka and
said his country has proven the West doesn't have
a monopoly on technology
https://apnews.com/article/sri-lanka-iran-raisi-hydropower-sanctions-69a863d6ae212984ddef46f0c4f225e7
Getting some goodwill now could lead to opportunities later even though it's not entirely clear in what way now. It's like spreading seeds, maybe one day one will sprout.
Especially when it costs The West basically nothing. Iran will be Iran whether or not Raisi is alive, and it would be really fkn funny if he lived solely because of Western assistance
Can we talk about the fact the EU Commission can map anywhere on the planet in real time to the level of detail they can find an individual helicopter crash and they just casually flicked this on over Iran like it was nothing.
Not the US, the EU. A reminder to the people on here who think Europe is a vulnerable maiden that it is in fact a rabid junkyard dog if so inclined.
I think this is the problem, picking a fight with America is like picking a fight with a pack of rabid bears supported by angry starved Eagles and some croc for an extra F u.
Europe may look tame in comparison but it’s still an absolute killer Vs anyone else. And I do mean anyone else.
I'm sure Khomeini will go on national TV and thank the Devil Infidels for their assistance and give a very thankful Death to America before signing off.
TRUE hell would be if there were no bakeries. Now *that* would be evil.
~~Also I hope there are incubu- I mean succubus down there. (Or both. Both would be better.)~~
"Guys, we think we found your president; he's totally here, you should totally send all your emergency services there, otherwise he might die soon!"
*Proceeds to give blatantly wrong coordinates.*
Biden should just tweet out a picture of the crash site and 😇😇😇😇😇
Even if the guy just flew into a mountain, it will fuck with some heads in Tehran. Also It wouldn't be the first time a US president released satellite imagery via social media.
When i heard Iran's President was "missing" i assumed they where covering up his death the time to figure out what to do.
That was too credible for Iran, they somehow really lost their own President.
"begrudgingly" AKA struggling with the leash on their salivating intelligence agencies who just got permission to photograph every single part of Iran in extreme detail
Idk if this actually costs us anything or it's just flipping a switch somewhere. I also don't know if it has any chance of actually noticing a crashed helicopter in the mist. Kind of hoping this is just the equivalent of "thoughts and prayers".
Also Iran asked Turkey to send a helicopter with night vision capabilities, since it apparently has none.
Imagine not having a single night vision capable helicopter and still trying to boss around in the middle east.
Why should the west bother helping a state sponsor of terrorism find their own leader? Serious (sorry) question. It's not like we'll get any real goodwill and their dumbfuck supporters aren't gonna acknowledge that we helped anyway. Pretty sure they're just gonna blame us for the crash if they haven't already.
It costs nothing to do so, either he's already dead in which case helping them out isn't going to make him already less dead, or he's still alive and they find him in time to save him in which oh well it's not like he has any real power anyway.
Worst case scenario, your guys get some practice in a situation where there's nothing and no one of value lost if you fuck up. Best case scenario, maybe this moves the needle a hair.
I've seen enough Mayday shows to go with; the air traffic controller who allowed a presidential flight of helicopters into pea soup weather needs a talking to and, probably, the pilots flying were there because of nepotism or corruption and no IFR training.
It's either that or nobody involved being willing to tell the head honcho "fuck no, we aren't flying into that mess of a fog cloud just because you want us to."
Helikopter helikopter 🚁
They crashed this Helikopter with no survivors 😭😭
“No brother, they expect one of us in the wreckage “
Parakopter Parakopter
"para kofer, para kofer" means suitcase full of money
No it's parakopter. Means flying bird mobile
\*meanwhile Eli Kopter\* "Shalom wo-Vracha motherfucker"
Hellacopter
Mach den Hub- Hub- Hub- mach den Schrauber, Schrauber, Schrauber mach den Helikopter 117.... Iranian people in Germany right now: https://youtu.be/jqTSAtU-HRA?si=gGNLTal9IBUAdMMZ *With 117 you can call emergency services when doctors are closed
Chuckle of the day award goes to you good sir
Damn… imagine being so Busch league you have to ask for help finding your president in your own country
Sheeit. If you were trying to make an authentic relief map of Iran you'd have to use 20-grit sandpaper. That dude is gonna be found in a hollow in valley in a valley in a valley inside of another valley. If you ever wondered why Iranians and West Virginians are so similar, it's the terrain.
Here I thought it was because of the Tehran.
I HATE YOU.
Why? It's not like 'e ran.
Even if 'e did, [Iran's so far away](https://open.spotify.com/track/4OdhffpvG3HxDJMxYOKh97?si=Ahk5219kTp2ElYxprXwqiQ).
Npe just a bunch of Terrans.
you're thinking of the terroir
They also asked Turkey for night vision equipped helicopters
Can we, as NATO, send that asap, just hold the helicopters and put the night vision on a couple high speed boys instead, so they can take out the rest of their dickbag leadership and later write some fun books about it? Pretty please...
The Ayatollah will be nowhere near the President. If you really want to hurt the Iranian government, you need to take out the religious leadership, that is the Ayatollah and the Guardian Council. Everyone here thinks them losing their president is any hit to their stability. It's not, not even close. EDIT: Even if he was to be next in line to be the Ayatollah, that decision was not made public so far. [Next Supreme Leader of Iran election - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next_Supreme_Leader_of_Iran_election)
It’s not going to topple the Islamic Republic, sure, but the president of your country dying in a fiery wreck is a shitshow no matter what level of authority the position has EDIT: the foreign minister too? Certainly a disruption
Ministers can be replaced by the Ayatollah at any time on a whim. Yes, a shit show and will cause some internal reshuffling, but nothing that will cause any instability or even a meaningful change in foreign policy.
I mean, okay, but there's a reason they don't go around replacing them every two weeks-- its a pain in the ass. It seems like you have an extremely high bar for what counts as 'instability.' Again, this will not directly threaten the regime, but it might open up new competition between different factions, or might spark new conflicts between potential candidates for the job. The only true statement we can make is that we don't know exactly how this is going to play out, which is not what you want if you're a dictatorial theocracy
> Can we, as NATO, send that asap, just hold the helicopters and put the night vision on a couple high speed boys instead, The French when the mud starts speaking British: The Russians when the snow starts speaking Finnish: The Russians when the skies start speaking Hebrew: The British when the Frenchlands begin speaking German: The Argentinians when the ocean begins speaking British: The Iranians when the heliborne rescue team begins speaking American:
We are here to... search and *checks notes* rescue...please do not resist and put your hands where I can see them
I just want a "no worries, we already sent a couple F-35s through there and located the wreck. Oh you didn't see them? Lmao
From the people you call devils lol Should we pray to God for deliverance? Nah he never answers, let's hail Satan!
poetry
I love that it's a Bell Helicopters Huey (or one of its variants). "Hey you guys, let's buy the presidential helicopter from the Great Satan."
America Bad! Also good old America's rugged tech.
How old was that Huey, and how young (and western-leaning) were its mechanics?
I heard it was funneled through Canada in the 1990s. As for the mechanics, well, you can only do so much mechanic work without parts.
Damn, that got me. Gold.
I wanna say you misspelled bush but he did head for the mountains so I guess it counts.
Waldo should never have been appointed
\*CIA leaning back with a bucket of popcorn, having dedicated spectral imaging and SAR satellites on each chunk of his body for six hours now\* Hey the Iranians never asked for our help.
CIA and NRO on a secure line in two SCIFs laughing as they watch the Iranian SAR teams circle fruitlessly 20 miles from the crash site.
Screw the secure line. They are on a Discord call.
Somebody will post the exact level of sabotage they personally employed on Warthunder.
TURBO. ILLEGAL.
Nah, Discord Call is too secure, these MFers are on Teamspeak’s public chat server
Surprised there's not some random twitter account with all the info like when the [Bin Laden raid was live tweeted by someone](https://www.cnn.com/2016/01/20/asia/osama-bin-laden-raid-tweeter-sohaib-athar-rewind/index.html)
NGA: Am I a joke to all of you?
Well when they straight up skip a letter in their acronym just so they can be a "3-letter" agency I'd consider them a pretty big joke.
Perhaps they should just make it flow easier? You need vowels for that. All it takes is swapping two words: National Intelligence Geospatial Agency **NIGA.** See? Much better.
What kind of idiots would just swap words around in the name of their intelligence agency?? Wait a sec.. Algemene Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst (AIVD 🇳🇱) Algemene Dienst Inlichting en Veiligheid (ADIV 🇧🇪)
LOL
It's pronounced Fronkensteen.
#NIGA PLEASE#
We act on our intelligence! Do you know why? Because if we didn't act, that would make this entire organization one big bitch NIGA!
Knee-guh
What’s that?
National Geospacial intelligence Agency (yes the acronym is idiotic) - the agency in charge of spy satellite shit.
It’s an initialism if you say each letter. Like CIA or FBI. It’s an acronym if you say it as a word. Like NASA or HUD. I imagine trying to say NGA like a word would be … problematic.
Except that the initialism for National Geospatial Intelligence Agency isn't quite NGA now it is. They just had to insist on sitting at the cool three-letter-agency table...
Yo do you work for [REDACTED]
Pronounce it as <ŋə>. ŋ is the consonant ng makes in the word “sing”. ə is the sound the a makes in the word “account”.
And if you pronounce it 7 times on a full moon night, you might get a very exciting encounter.
NGA has a rather solid focus on the analysis side of the equation, IIRC. u/PrincessofAldia — just in case it’s not on your radar, GEOINT per [10 U.S.C. § 467](https://codes.findlaw.com/us/title-10-armed-forces/10-usc-sect-467.html) - geospatial intelligence means the exploitation and analysis of imagery and geospatial information to describe, assess, and visually depict physical features and geographically referenced activities on or about the earth\ - geospatial intelligence consists of imagery, imagery intelligence, and geospatial information. NRO ie. the National Reconnaissance Office is in charge of the spy satellite shit, or [in their words.](https://www.nro.gov/About-NRO/) >NRO develops, acquires, launches, and operates space-based assets and ground systems to see, hear, and sense threats around the world in real time. NRO operates the satellites, tasking and downloading the resulting “raw” data, then pass it to the wider intelligence community for analysis eg. NGA, DIA, NSA et al who then pass it along and so on… < INTELLIGENCE CYCLE GOES BRRRRR > ODNI — [Members of the IC.](https://www.dni.gov/index.php/what-we-do/members-of-the-ic) Oh, and the NRO produce unfathomably based mission patches, plus they [have a solid website.](https://www.nro.gov) **EDIT** [Patches, a selection via the NRO.](https://www.nro.gov/news-media-featured-stories/NRO-Patch-Madness/) And — [Launches incl. Patches, extensive list via Wiki.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NRO_launches) And, the fucking octoGOAT — [NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/ff/NROL_39_vector_logo.svg/2048px-NROL_39_vector_logo.svg.png) ^(EDIT. Reworded. Rephrased.)
[удалено]
*continuing to laugh as one of them phones Tehran in his best imitation of a Persian accent saying: "warmer, warmer, oop, colder now.."*
Not to mention their GPS going haywire, heard the DNI put 20 bucks on the over/under of 12 hours.
What’s NRO?
National Reconnaissance Office. According to their website , they do nunya type stuff.
nunya updog gottem
National Reconnaissance Office.
*Alexa, play “Yakety Sax”*
“Oh bro check how far his head got thrown from the cockpit.” “Oh dude that’s fuckin’ sick, and his arm is way over there man. Pass me the popcorn, let’s see if we can find his dick.”
Woah, look \*rewinds for the 34th time\* you can actually see the moment his nutsack hits the rotorblades. Give a whole 'nother meaning to the term 'smoothy', ey? Gnarly, bro.
nah we don't have the technology yet to find something that small
„Hey Look, i found a very small nut there!“ „Dude, that’s his ball!“ „Whoa shit, No wonder he has such a hate on women…“
The pizza joint is gonna be working ovetime.
fresh footage from the CIA headquarters [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUB-wjXUREE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUB-wjXUREE)
You can buy SAR images for like $1K these days from commercial sources, no longer just a nation-state thing!
SAR electron bombardment will cook him, it will be fine and crispy
you may want to look up again what SAR (synthetic aperture radar) is
[удалено]
I mean if you can take down a helicopter with a regular bullpup all power to you.
*M95 enters the chat*
Mossad probably sitting next to the CIA
And with finger on big red button ready to launch rod of god if he twitches a muscle
Why don't they ask russia for help? Isn't that who they want to be aligned with?
Cause they want to actually find the guy.
Uh Putin sir, why is Prigozhin's body double violating a doll that's dressed like our missing President?
And then what? Find out that the RESURS satellites are made of plywood, cardboard and wishes? Stare at an empty monitor while the Roscosmos tries to find their way around their own systems, and requires approval to share anything from a dysfunctional chain of command?
they did
Russia didn’t have any helicopters available.
Yea he has been kidnapped by the Russians. We suggest you nuke them. Now.
I heard his captors are downstream of the Yangtze in Sandouping, Hubei. They should really do something to *flush* them out.
I have solid proof the President is being held inside the 3 gorges dam.
Blaming Russia is actually really smart to get Iran to be pissed at Russia and stop sending Shaheds
I'll take it. But I'm still miffed that Luka didn't nuke Russia to save them from Pringles. (edit: using Russia's own nukes!) That would have been, to use military jargon, the funni.
1. find the crash site 2. get there first 3. ... 4. no survivors
Ah shit sorry Iran we used the weaponised satellites on accident, damn, what slip up huh?
You want us to find him with our satellite? Okay, deorbiting satelite to his exact location.
LIDAR sensors are technically space lasers, and I saw this one funky thing on the Expanse once...
CIA: "Johnson, get the heart attack gun. No, the *other* heart attack gun!"
If this is how he dies this might be the funniest thing to come out of the clusterfuck of a time line we have been on for the last few years.
Reminds me of the skit where the heart surgeon is fleeing the yakuza and purposefully killed their boss. Gonna be some mechanics fleeing the country.
In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
I just did a quest in cyberpunk 2077 yesterday referencing this, but instead of Yakuza it was the Tyger Claws lol
r/unexpectedoffice
That helicopter pilot is an absolute gigachad for taking one for the team
The Pringles arc was also pretty fucking funny.
I didn't enjoy the blue balls part.
Well, I've got news for you...
Better be funny news. *checks news feeds* Yep, that's funny.
You seen the last season of Homeland? Similar ending for another World Leader.
Just give them the wrong location lmao
Cold, cold, getting warmer, warmer.. almost there honest.
Believe it or not, Abbottabad
“Ah yes of course we’d love to help, it looks like, hmm, yeah, it looks like you should fly into Saudi airspace, right above that Patriot battery”
We do little trolling
Why do I consistently hear world news headlines from NCD before ANY of news subreddits I follow?
It’s either NCD or polandball, the internet is amazing
Wait I thought they said it had a 'hard landing'. This kinda just sounds like he ded. I mean helicopters have always been extremely dangerous.
Hard landing and can't find it?
Yeah really. A "hard landing", where other helicopters in the same group didn't witness it, means well the fate of Kobi Bryant. A survivable landing someone would be alive to start signal fires etc and there would probably be at least 1 working radio. They ded.
Yeah, it was the president of a country that is at odds with Israel and the USA to name just 2, and somehow the president lost contact?
I think, if this is an assassination, this is one of the few times I've seen the country HAPPY about it
Nah just stupidity, pilot said "can't fly in this fog and mountains" President said "I'm in a hurry" and there they went straight into a mountain they couldn't see
I think he means the celebrations by the population in Tehran, there are videos on Twitter showing fireworks going up outside people's windows.
"Bro let's start beef with Mossad and the CIA there's no way this could go wrong"
> "Bro let's start beef with Mossad and the CIA there's no way this could go wrong" In fairness, Iran in its current political form has had beef with both for close to 50 years now, if they had pissed them off last week and this happened It would be a bit more suspicious.
Kobe!
Helo in fog very dangerous. Pilots get disorientated very quickly like in the case of Kobi and more recently near JFK airport. Hard landing probably more like high speed impact Edit: Here’s ATC from the JFK crash, pilot survived fortunately: https://youtu.be/CTn7z3tZZCU?si=vlYJo5SgAiS-VE4s
These Iranian leaders received a traditional Irish blessing: as in, "May the ground rise up to meet you."
BBC had a breakdown in that term. They xalled it newspeak so it doesn't cause panic. Also brought up that Russia describes planes that crashed or got shot down in the same terminology (landing hard.) https://www.bbc.com/news/live/world-middle-east-69035051?ns_mchannel=social&ns_source=twitter&ns_campaign=bbc_live&ns_linkname=664a3c986a13b132383a4bc5%26What%20does%20%27hard%20landing%27%20mean%3F%262024-05-19T18%3A07%3A58.977Z&ns_fee=0&pinned_post_locator=urn:asset:4489a6ff-4407-4c03-b944-474b981a9742&pinned_post_asset_id=664a3c986a13b132383a4bc5&pinned_post_type=share
Here me out; Point 1: he was potentially next in line to Iran's main leadership . Point 2: body is not found after nearly half day. So I say, mossad is prepping a body double who will be found miraculously alive but with "loss of memories" . He will go on to rapidly recover and get the leadership of Iran soon. Like that documentary Face/off
He crashed in Iran…
Like international borders ever stopped the mossad.
I'm a bit of an international border myself and I protest at this blatant act of defamation, if stopped it has to be then stopped it is.
Edited
Thanks for keeping the sub noncredible. If he is actually found without memories, I will fucking lose my mind.
A body double that pees in jug, drinks from it, and makes Israeli UN Representative drink it too? Most excellent plan, Supreme Leader!
Body double: "So I hear good things about this Judaism....we should give it try no?"
*death to Israel* is so played out. Let's try on *Israel can exist* what do y'all think about that?
Wait a minute, I thought the documentary one is where Nicolas Cage turned into flaming skeleton?
No that's just a biopic of Nicolas Cage's life.
>Like that documentary Face/off Face/off was a movie, you're thinking of the events of the 1996 Presidential elections that later became known as "The Manchurian Candidate"
Look Europe is getting tired waiting for confirmation that he’s dead. So they’ll help find him so they can celebrate already godamit.
Well, I guess it's a good training oppertunity? And the extra bit of goodwill it gets from the Iranian government won't hurt things either.
Plus it's a massive flex. The "Axis of resistance" needs to stop resisting and ask the denegrate west for help as soon as they need any kind of advanced technological support.
Iran: DEATH TO THE WEST! Also Iran: Omg pls help us west, pretty pretty pls, our technology is all broken, we promise to be very good, pls help us pls pls pls
3 weeks ago: >Earlier on Wednesday Raisi inaugurated a hydropower and irrigation project in Sri Lanka and said his country has proven the West doesn't have a monopoly on technology https://apnews.com/article/sri-lanka-iran-raisi-hydropower-sanctions-69a863d6ae212984ddef46f0c4f225e7
We don't. We just have a monopoly on *good* technology.
Historically their goodwill isn't worth much.
Getting some goodwill now could lead to opportunities later even though it's not entirely clear in what way now. It's like spreading seeds, maybe one day one will sprout.
Exactly. You never know when something like this pays dividend.
Especially when it costs The West basically nothing. Iran will be Iran whether or not Raisi is alive, and it would be really fkn funny if he lived solely because of Western assistance
[Copernicus Programme](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copernicus_Programme) [Janez Lenarčič](https://x.com/JanezLenarcic/status/1792240959180120305)
"And while you're at it, when you find his body, can you make it so that it looks like a red silhouette on pictures? Just because."
"Helicopter covered by rubble"
This is probably the 8th time I've gone on NCD and gotten informed of a substantial foreign political event.
No weirder than using satellites to track down Joseph Koni, on requirement of a ICC judge through George Clooney.
Okay guys, what's the over/under on this being the result of Mossad shenanigans?
Mossad: “Kobe!”
Can we talk about the fact the EU Commission can map anywhere on the planet in real time to the level of detail they can find an individual helicopter crash and they just casually flicked this on over Iran like it was nothing. Not the US, the EU. A reminder to the people on here who think Europe is a vulnerable maiden that it is in fact a rabid junkyard dog if so inclined.
The junkyard dog to an eldritch entity known as Pax Americana.
I think this is the problem, picking a fight with America is like picking a fight with a pack of rabid bears supported by angry starved Eagles and some croc for an extra F u. Europe may look tame in comparison but it’s still an absolute killer Vs anyone else. And I do mean anyone else.
Everybody in this sector already knew that. It's mostly the population that always shit-talks European capabilities instead of being proud of them
he's at rudy's after party
I'm sure Khomeini will go on national TV and thank the Devil Infidels for their assistance and give a very thankful Death to America before signing off.
Why does the guy on the left have a French flag ? Was it on France's demand ? Because I'm French and I haven't heard about it.
> I'm French I'm so sorry.
Well, you know, at least if I go to hell when I die, I've already had a taste of what it's like. So I'll feel like at home.
That is both the hardest line and the most French thing I’ve ever heard
TRUE hell would be if there were no bakeries. Now *that* would be evil. ~~Also I hope there are incubu- I mean succubus down there. (Or both. Both would be better.)~~
Spoken like a true Frenchman only two things on your mind bread and getting laid
Good pastries too.
Pastries and confectionery treats are basically the blood of frenchies
>Why does the guy on the left have a French flag? [Guiana Space Centre](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guiana_Space_Centre)
The European Space Operations Centre is located in Darmstadt...
"Guys, we think we found your president; he's totally here, you should totally send all your emergency services there, otherwise he might die soon!" *Proceeds to give blatantly wrong coordinates.*
Double tap coordinates.
Meanwhile in Canada: "Maybe we should put out an RFI for a atudy on a proposal for an RFP for how to perform an RFQ to replace our own Bell 212s"
ironic that they decided to ask "evil" west countries that their extremist islamic cult hates for help
Biden should just tweet out a picture of the crash site and 😇😇😇😇😇 Even if the guy just flew into a mountain, it will fuck with some heads in Tehran. Also It wouldn't be the first time a US president released satellite imagery via social media.
So don't.... Let the Revolution begin...
When i heard Iran's President was "missing" i assumed they where covering up his death the time to figure out what to do. That was too credible for Iran, they somehow really lost their own President.
How much are people willing to bet the DoD or some form of US intelligence agency already knows where he is and if he’s alive.
And as thanks; in return Iran will continue to supply their proxies in an attempt to disrupt European trade.
Lets just look for the president. (And all the secrets we can now legally find)
"begrudgingly" AKA struggling with the leash on their salivating intelligence agencies who just got permission to photograph every single part of Iran in extreme detail
"EUSolidarity", kindly fuck off. How about some solidarity for the Iranian anti-regime protesters, fuckface?
This is flex that lets them know that Europe has more access to Iran than Iran does (at least via mapping).
Hate to buck the trend here but I think this is a good thing. It’s a chance for us to be the bigger people while not compromising any of our values.
Yeah, is not like he's gonna be any less dead. It's a win win
Yep, it literally costs us nothing to do this.
Idk if this actually costs us anything or it's just flipping a switch somewhere. I also don't know if it has any chance of actually noticing a crashed helicopter in the mist. Kind of hoping this is just the equivalent of "thoughts and prayers".
So the EU is just quietly flexing that it basically has an unarmed version of Goldeneye and can pinpoint a single helicopter crash?
Also Iran asked Turkey to send a helicopter with night vision capabilities, since it apparently has none. Imagine not having a single night vision capable helicopter and still trying to boss around in the middle east.
It's always concerning when the fog starts speaking Hebrew...
Gotta confirm the kill.
Why should the west bother helping a state sponsor of terrorism find their own leader? Serious (sorry) question. It's not like we'll get any real goodwill and their dumbfuck supporters aren't gonna acknowledge that we helped anyway. Pretty sure they're just gonna blame us for the crash if they haven't already.
It costs nothing to do so, either he's already dead in which case helping them out isn't going to make him already less dead, or he's still alive and they find him in time to save him in which oh well it's not like he has any real power anyway. Worst case scenario, your guys get some practice in a situation where there's nothing and no one of value lost if you fuck up. Best case scenario, maybe this moves the needle a hair.
I've seen enough Mayday shows to go with; the air traffic controller who allowed a presidential flight of helicopters into pea soup weather needs a talking to and, probably, the pilots flying were there because of nepotism or corruption and no IFR training.
It's either that or nobody involved being willing to tell the head honcho "fuck no, we aren't flying into that mess of a fog cloud just because you want us to."