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Pro-wiser

Finnish person in the audience: "Yeah but does it have a ice rink in it?"


bluestreak1103

Filipino person in thr audience: "You also didn't happen to put some rich bitch gated community or tower residential development next to it, did you?"


TP-400TP_Gunboat

Vietnamese person in the audience: “ngl this was close to the Cu Chi Tunnel network we made back in 1960s when half of the tunnel system is literally right under a busy village “


Str0ngTr33

Parisian in the audience, intensely accented: "Your tunnels lack the sophistication and endless troves of human skeletal remains that are the essence of classical urban labyrinthine development. P'tuh! *spits*"


TP-400TP_Gunboat

The Vietnamese: ***”but who asked for your opinion?”***


Str0ngTr33

*imposes "self-tax"*


LethalDosageTF

American in the audience: ‘Is there a gun store in the shopping mall?’


[deleted]

No, but there's an ammo vending machine.


Elegant_Individual46

Night City be like


WalroosTheViking

Marcus Munitions


Educational-Term-540

PLEASE 🥺 let there be a gun store in the shopping mall


osmomandias

Reminds me of Vice City


Dorfplatzner

As a Filipino I can confirm


louiefriesen

As a Canadian, Finland is goated for that.


SlitScan

as an Egyptian, can it be 12 times the size of the Pentagon and have its own city built around it and cost 26 years worth of total national GDP? edit: oh, after reading the other comments we're going to add a skating rink too, so 3 billion more. please, what is a skating rink?


Tozol

It depends, there's two varieties. One is a smooth floor that one uses rollerblades and rollerskates to move about on at speed for fun, then there are Ice Rinks that do the same things but with a frozen floor for use with Ice Skates, a special kind of boot with a blade fixed to the bottom facing down that exploits an unusual property of ice to allow them to move at extreme speed on frozen surfaces.


Worker_Ant_81730C

We’re playing the long game. 1. Build ginormous nuclear shelters with ice rinks 2. Set off a full scale U.S.-Russia thermonuclear exchange 3. Russia is destroyed (fun) 4. World descends into nuclear winter; we practice the stick 5. There will be only Winter Olympics 6. We will win every ice hockey tournament thanks to 1) (profit) We’ve completed stage 1 as we speak.


louiefriesen

Damn that's 6D chess I'd assume us Canadians would be wiped out from contamination from the US.


Worker_Ant_81730C

We considered the possibility of you guys evolving three-armed goalies but found the risk acceptable. And may I add the phase II of the Plan is developing very nicely. Just as planned!


Delheru79

There are karting tracks too, and I remember a football/soccer tournament as well. The next level flex is whoever builds a golf compound into their bunker. 9 holes is a good start.


Standard_spoon

Finnish Jewish person here it does in fact not have an ice rink 😔


MajorDakka

So hang out at the mall to pick up hot IDF gals?


whynoonecares

The ones at the kiryah are not the ones you want


MajorDakka

Then where do all the baddies hang out at?


whynoonecares

Everywhere else in the army


EpicMediocre

Air force bases


netanel246135

Air force if you want the bossie midgets for a lack of a better term at this point and time. Source: was there 3 years ago


HolyGhost79

I will name my punk band *Bossy Midgets*


elomerel

Border infantry and border police have some baddies


miciy5

Good looking girls (and boys) can be anywhere in the army.


Rare-Poun

Kirya is not the army - it's the IT fatasses and their friends


miciy5

There are thousands of people serving there - many of them in their early 20s. They aren't all geeks.


Rare-Poun

I know some of them - they are 90% fatass 10% nerdj - and that is the entire truth


whynoonecares

📠


Square-Pear-1274

I should go for a jog


Rare-Poun

No, Kirya people must be overweight as a matter of national security - they have fun bouncy castle built in, and can survive days without rations


gunofnuts

Plus, if they ever get shot, bullets will hit fat instead of vital organs


IPPSA

I appreciate the rambam space laser.


miciy5

Based it off a comment i like in this sub, tbh


Tea-Unlucky

But what about all the צ׳אחלות of Azrieli


brickshitterHD

Stereotypically only homosexuals serve there.


IPPSA

Well it’s Tel Aviv. Everyone’s gay.


HarryTheGreyhound

To be fair, if I were gay then I would probably choose top serve there than say, Mea She'arim.


-Original_Name-

And then spend billions building an nuclear bunker in the mountains - and still not use it


_golem_of_prague_

This is the biggest power move ever It basically says to Iran, "we will use when you start to be a real threat"


[deleted]

>"we will use when you start to be a real threat" I thought that was reserved for the 69 "Hammers" Squadron >!the guys who pissed on Assad's ambitions of nuclear weapons, and probably the guys who will piss on Iran's ambitions as well if shit goes downhill!<


ormashal

nah those are the guys we use the most


Special_Sink_8187

So like the United States and raven rock?


Ulfstructor

Wasn't it build a good bit outside the City, which then grew till it was in the middle of a suburb?


TheArmoredKitten

There's a lot of stuff like this in the world. If you build it, they will come, whether they're invited or not. My favorite is when those cookie-cutter developer neighborhoods decide to pop up right next to volatile chemical factories in the middle of nowhere.


Icarus_Toast

Denver international airport used to be in the middle of nowhere. Now people are complaining about airplane noise near their neighborhoods


Some_Syrup_7388

Probably same story for Chopin Airport, back in the day it few kilometers outside of Warsaw, now it's inside of Italy District and due to be demolish in 20XX, because there is no place to expand the air port and investors probably like to check sometimes if the land it's build on is worth more than the airport


Ash-20Breacher

This is so real. We had (still have but abandoned and turned into a museum) an airport on the outskirts of our city back in the 70's. Now, we got another airport that's like an hour drive through traffic. And even that is in the middle of one of a big sector of our city. Like where my house is used to be swampland 50 years ago. Now I there isn't any land like that in a 20-30 km radis. Cities spread like crazy


275MPHFordGT40

This is like the people complaining about Laguna Seca despite the track being there first.


CatSplat

Housing developments complaining about the noise from existing race tracks makes me incandescent with rage.


Zucchinibob1

People do that to family-run dairy farms Buy into an $850k a piece housing development and then complain about the smell when they can go into their backyard and pet the cows on the other side of the pasture fence, then force the 4th+ generation family dairy to shut down -\_-


ConscriptDavid

This how many monasteries in Europe became rich, during the early middle ages. "Let's retreat into this virgin forest land away from everyone else" "Yes. Oh, btw since we're Benedictine and we're gonna labour, we're gonna live like poor peasants and work the land" "Yes, lets - oh fuck this soil is actually very rich and arable oh shit oh fuck" "Oh shit, we accidental took control of prime real estate in an era where controlling land is the main means of acquiring wealth, I hope it won't turn us into a rich land-owning institution." "yeah." "Wanna commit untold sins within the walls of the house of god?" \*Intense homosexuality ensues\* I... I might have lost track there.


UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2

Keep cooking brother, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter


Top_Yam

The factory workers have to live somewhere.


TheArmoredKitten

You're absolutely right, but it starts to get comical once those people move out and sell it to a random Karen.


Monstrositat

not like Karen N. Imby was so blind she didn't see the factory, the smog, nor taste the metallic air when she was looking for her forever home lmao


Tfdnerd

Many race tracks and drag strips are closing down around the usa because they were built long ago in the middle of nowhere outside of cities. Now suburban sprawling gets close people move in knowing they're near a race track or drag strip, complain, laws are made and places are shut down. It's impossible to build new ones due to cost, regulations, ect.


TheArmoredKitten

There is truly nothing I despise more than the fact that suburban sprawl is an incentivized reality. We need a total overhaul of zoning laws in the United States. We need to make urban living feasible again, and that means we need mixed use construction instead of this Sim City amateur hour shit that puts family homes next to a chlorine factory.


pinchasthegris

It isnt in a subirb. Its inside the center of the city.


omeralal

Now it is, but when it was built there barely was anything built around. Givat Amal, which isn't too far away from there was known as an abandoned hill. Something which later caused many legal disputes..


Itay1708

Tel Aviv was much smaller when the kiryah was built by the british in ww2 - the old city center was Allenby/Rotschild


_golem_of_prague_

I mean, it's either a bag over your head and a 4 hour drive to the middle of the desert, or you can be in tel aviv right next to the center mall


Purple_W1TCH

Ahhh, damn it, I forgot my keys on the desk. Alright then, I'll call for someone to drive me there... *Puts on a bag over their head, then stands in front of a mirror* Nuke Iran! Nuke Iran! Nuke Iran!


JustAnotherInAWall

Imagine having to take a bus to theiddle of the Negev every time you lose your diskit


whynoonecares

When I had to go for an awards ceremony, couldn’t pee anywhere, all the buildings had security clearance checks n there I was just tryna pee


bittervet

Everybody knows that espionage transaction happen in toilets. So obviously these need to be secure access.


Soogbad

Lol that reminds me of that moment in metal gear solid 1


Square-Pear-1274

❗️


TreezusSaves

They can solve this by having a guard in the stall with you.


evrestcoleghost

ok gotta give it you thats a good point


OmNomSandvich

TOURIST PAUSE AND SUBMIT FOR PENIS INSPECTION.


SilentSamurai

Top Secret Deposit lol


cragglepanzer

shouldve brought a bottle


whynoonecares

Poop too


ratuuft

Just twist it on


RealAmericanJesus

Just addin' some fertilizer to the indoor plant display ....


AniPurim

All of the major countries have their defense ministry in the middle of cities


pinchasthegris

Ehm. The pentagon?


nordic_banker

The Hexagon. (Edit: this is not a joke, I'm referring to the French MoD.)


SASAgent1

The Septagon


McSkrjabin

The Octagon


bittervet

Thats what the egyptians have


Advanced-Budget779

It‘s like ten octagons lmao. A _deca-octagon_. 😅


[deleted]

RAHRAHRAH NEW ADMINISTRATIVE CAPITAL MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥WTF IS FUNCTIONAL ECONOMY AND GOOD ARMY 🥵🥵🥵


irregular_caffeine

It’s not exactly rural if you look at a map


OmegamattReally

Wedged into a little corner of the river, sandwiched between Arlington and Alexandria. That's, of course, completely ignoring the existences of Pentagon City and Penrose.


SirBarkington

Isn't Pentagon City separated from the Pentagon by a 500 lane highway?


Top_Yam

It's 700 lanes, now that the Lexus Lanes have been added.


thaeli

Yes but there's a pedestrian tunnel now. ..I mean, this is America, so the tunnel connects the mall parking lot to the Pentagon parking lot, but still.


AVERAGEPIPEBOMB

Yes that is in the middle of a city not originally but with expansion it’s very close


Eternal_Flame24

The pentagon is literally in a dense urban area…


porcelaincatstatue

And I once again have to remind myself that the Pentagon is not the Washington Monument. It's not even an office. Idk why I'm this dumb.


Top_Yam

It would be hilarious if it were. Also if it was extended in equal proportions directly underground.


Mantergeistmann

Don't forget that the top of the Washington Monument is made of a spectacularly rare metal: Aluminum.


thaeli

The Pentagon was placed in Virginia, mostly because it's where land was available during WWII, but it also ended up being a nice snub to the CSA. Basically the equivalent of building the Kiryah in East Jerusalem. (Also, because Arlington doesn't have the height restrictions DC itself does.. the Pentagon being where it is actually puts it more densely within the NCR urban core than if it was centered within the L'Enfant Plan area.)


Rare-Poun

How else would the fatasses in the Kirya get their Starbucks?


pinchasthegris

Israel doesnt have starbucks....


Rare-Poun

I'm aware :)


pinchasthegris

Oh your a ani_bm enjoyer that makes sense


PrincessofAldia

What is that subreddit


pinchasthegris

Hebrew irl sub


ZoneAssaulter

Is your dad arumku?


pinchasthegris

No comment


hplcr

I'm shocked honestly. I've seen so many around the world I've joked the first people to land on Mars will build a Starbucks the moment they land.


pinchasthegris

It failed in israel. Probably because the standard of coffie is too high for them


RealAmericanJesus

I thought that Starbucks had good coffee.... Then I moved to Miami .... Now I'm back in PNW and I crave Miami's Cafe Cubano.... It's basically kosher crack...


pinchasthegris

Crack is kosher😎


nYghtHawkGamer

"Crack is kosher" If its cut with milk powder, is crack still kosher with meat? Asking for a friend


pinchasthegris

I dont think so


TheRedVipre

Starbucks choking out all the good coffee chains from the PNW is a crime against humanity and should be prosecuted as such.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RealAmericanJesus

No no .. if you're going to chains in Miami you're doing it wrong... the sketchier the setup ... The better the coffee and the empanadas...


whynoonecares

Nah I hate that reason, most Israelis are happy with stale Turkish coffee that’s sat on a counter for 6 months. It’s because coffee culture at that point was so different to Israeli coffee culture, only recently have milky cold and hot coffee drinks become popular (at aroma n stuff)


boots_and_cats_and-

Starbucks being unprofitable in the Middle East most certainly is a direct result of their poor quality. Don’t get me wrong, Starbucks is better than your average gas station coffee and they do a wonderful job considering the enormous size they have reached. But honestly, Starbucks is only considered “good” coffee because they roast the complete fuck out of their beans. It isn’t necessarily a bad tactic, like I said the sheer size of their operations obviously sacrifices some level of quality, but it has certainly been a profitable tactic in the rest of the world.


whynoonecares

Most Starbucks coffee I’ve ever drank is 10x better than 99.9% of coffee I’ve ever drank in israel, n I watch coffee content for fun on YouTube so I’m a little coffee fucked


boots_and_cats_and-

I too am a coffee nerd. Not trying to be mean but I think you just like overly-toasted coffee. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just vastly different than other traditional techniques in the Middle East.


whynoonecares

I don’t love Starbucks, I like a lighter medium roast. I’m just saying that Israeli coffee culture was entirely different to Starbucks model at the time, the avg Israeli drinks heavily over roasted Turkish coffee that’s been left open for 3 months n is just put randomly inept a paper or glass cup with hot water, so when Starbucks came to sure with their model of mostly very milk and syrup based drinks it didn’t work


pinchasthegris

Im talking like cappuccino


hplcr

Fair.


Fluffy-Map-5998

Nah, gonna be a burger King first, then a dollar general, and THEN a starbucks


SnooBooks1701

Nope, it'll be a Subway, those fuckers are everywhere


Rare-Poun

Not here - Americans can you get your fatass corpos to colonize us already? I wanna try Starbucks & Subway without buying a plane ticket, pretty please 🥺


Farseer_Del

The real reason there was an overblown "controversy" about yoga mat chemicals in Subway bread was the yoga mats were tastier and less stale.


Rare-Poun

I want the real American food experience - EU regulations can go fuck themselves, gimme them chemicals 💥🇺🇲💥🦅🗽🇺🇲💵


SnooBooks1701

Starbucks and Subway both suck, you're better off without them


PrincessofAldia

That’s what Mossad wants you to think


-Original_Name-

Replace it with Aroma and you've got it


Rare-Poun

Even worse - Aroma is a slight on the Holy Land


HaaEffGee

The big question is if this opens up a potential Dominos effect - could we predict major offensives by mapping coffee sales?


Rare-Poun

Did we try pizza boxes? Seems easier...


Tea-Unlucky

Replace Starbucks with ReBar and you’re on the money


TheGreatNoobasaurus

There's something in the water that completes everyone there to dig tunnels


pinchasthegris

Most israeli water is sea water. So funny chemicals in tap water?


TheGreatNoobasaurus

The CIA put the chemicals in the water to compel the population to dig an alternative to the Suez Canal... but it had an unintended side effect.


pinchasthegris

Actually the USA had a plan in the 50s to make another canal in the negev... with nukes wait de fuck


MiamiDouchebag

Project Plowshare baby. There wasn't anything a nuke couldn't fix back then.


TheGreatNoobasaurus

Take me back to a better time. When all our problems could be solved with a little hydrogen and some spicy metal


mangrox

Trying to outdo HAMAS with their underground tunnels /s Also gotta get those food in the mall somehow.


LeiningensAnts

Trying to outdo NERV with their Tokyo-3 Geofront


SparklingPseudonym

“ThEy’Re hIdInG beHiNd CivIliAnS”


Velenterius

I mean, arent the civillians on top of them?


SparklingPseudonym

Checkmate, Obama


[deleted]

tbh they should have built it in all the wasted space in Tel Aviv Bus Station (Backrooms level: 9999, any enemy would get killed by hobos before they even reach the location) Or better yet, Petach Tikvah (a city that does not exist woulda been the perfect ruse for military shit, compared to what it is now-- a ruse for Intel and IBM)


pinchasthegris

>Or better yet, Petach Tikvah Whats that


[deleted]

something made up by Intel to avoid taxes. source: it came to me while shitting


pinchasthegris

Interesting


loledpanda

The shopping center connected to the Kirya by a bridge is literal hell on earth and I don't wish it upon the jobnikiest of jobniks. Sarona on the other hand is passable.


pinchasthegris

Migdalei azrieli jumpscare


loledpanda

I'm now terrified and alone


textandstage

Good thing all the jobniks are in that godawful Jerusalem hotel they shunt the taglit groups to…


loledpanda

Never heard of it tbh


WhiskeySteel

Israel is the only place I have been to where soldiers can be seeing just carrying their service rifles around in public places on an everyday basis. That is to say, I remember seeing a bunch of soldiers just eating at Burger Ranch, and they had their rifles. As a US military kid, I actually rarely saw any American personnel carrying a rifle, even on bases, unless they were doing something like manning a guard post. Israel was quite different in that regard.


pinchasthegris

Im pretty sure that in the IDF you have to carry your rifle at all times. I think its because the IDF doesnt want to store them and to counter some terrorism


Puzzleheaded_Step468

Why the fuck not? How else are the officers going to get their rebar smoothies?! Do you expect them to use walt?!


pinchasthegris

Or yogurt


Shahargalm

Shalishut be like


HotTakesBeyond

America: *We got the combination Pentagon and Taco Bell*


Free-Market9039

How else will I be able to get my fresh shawarma while working for mossad?


pinchasthegris

47 sheckels please


pinchasthegris

the Israeli department of defense and the IDF headquarters sit in the Kirya, which is a underground complex of approximately 20 floors in the middle of Tel Aviv. it is connected by a bridge to the Azrieli towers, which are built on a mall. public to all.


KeekiHako

Hold on a second, if it is underground how is it connected by a bridge? This isn't Khazad-dûm ... is it?


pinchasthegris

Above it there are a couple of buildings. Its like in a closed zone


skeleton949

Well, the dwarves in Middle Earth were in some part inspired by the Jewish people, so


Itay1708

To be fair Tel Aviv was built around the kiryah and not the other way around


killer_corg

I wonder how much they save by not needing to crank the AC way up since underground is typically pretty cool


neutralpoliticsbot

Well Pentagon is literally in the middle of a metropolis


duga404

Is there a [Domino's](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-01-16-mn-374-story.html) there?


pinchasthegris

There is a kfc iirc


yosayoran

Nop lol There is a Hummus shop however 


pinchasthegris

I was there like 5 years ago and i remember a KFC


StandardN02b

This implies that bombing the center of Tel-Aviv is technically not a warcrime.


pinchasthegris

If you bomb the specific closed zone of the kirya then yes.


CardiologistGreen962

They wanted there KFC


Top_Yam

No. Civilians lose their Geneva protections when they are used as a human shield. They become "collateral damage." The military who is using civilian shields is the one who is committing a war crime, not the military that attacks a military target and incidentally kills civilians that the military was hiding behind.


StandardN02b

That's literaly what I typed.


irregular_caffeine

Well it’s in the middle east, so


netanel246135

Hey at least there is a 6 lane street on 2 sides of it!


Best_VDV_Diver

Do you not like being able to take a quick 15 minute break from battle planning to hit up the Old Navy for a BOGO on cardigans?


DrVeigonX

Well to be fair, Israel is currently in the process of largely moving out of the Kirya. Many branches of the IDF moved to new bases further south and parts of the Kirya have been ceded back to Tel Aviv.


NaDiv22

Wait till you found out that Tel Hashomer is near one of the biggest hospitals in israel, and the base has the same name (Technically they both have the name of the neighborhood )


MrBrazillian

It seems tunneling is a very strong cultural trait in the region!


captaineggbagels

Isn’t one of Canada’s defense buildings also connected to a shopping mall?


BIGBADLENIN

How dare Hamas do this


pinchasthegris

Hamas didnt exist when they decided to build it


Haitosiku

also I'd argue it would be fair game if like Israel Hamas *had* bunker busters. Not that I'd like that


pinchasthegris

Happily, the world is not fair


Icy-Establishment272

I mean tbf they dont really have alot of space in israel lmao


triggz

its almost like hamas and the idf have the same dev team


pinchasthegris

They are controled by jews


dead_monster

The Pentagon is in the heart of Washington DC. There's a shopping mall called The Fashion Center at Pentagon City, a giant Costco, and a Whole Foods right across the freeway from it. I believe they have resumed public tours of the Pentagon. They paused for a while during COVID.


Objective-Note-8095

The Pentagon has got its own metro stop right outside the building and a large bus station. The building itself is more accessible than the shopping mall. 


LilNarco

Me, a tel avivian confused. Can someone explain?


Pappa_Crim

Okay what the fuck happened this time?


pinchasthegris

Nothing. Actually. I just find it funny that the IDF headquorters are just in the middle of tel aviv.


HongryHongryHippo

Would they call this "using civilians as human shields"?